Goku Meets Serena by Sarah Slutz MSTed by Seth C. Triggs (trigsc41@buffalostate.edu) Hello there...This is my second MiSTing after "Black Day", so I wanted to do one of these stupid Sailor Moon crossovers. I thought Tim McLees made some of the funniest riffs I have ever read, in my humble opinion. Hopefully, I can find some good material within this fic. Please enjoy. -Seth [Roll Season 8 theme] [*,2,3,4,5,6,Dog Bone] [Evening on the SoL. MIKE and the BOTS have just finished watching a very stupid movie called "Prince of Space" and are trying to purge their systems.] MIKE & TOM:[chanting] Yamma yamma yamma ya-ma... TOM: [Jim Jones] I cast thee vile demons out!! Begone, cheesy films, begone! CROW: Hey! Look what I found! This ought to clean us out in no time! [CROW picks up a can of Drano and puts a straw in it.] CROW: Well, bottoms up! [pours Drano into mouth] [Drano begins reacting with CROW's metallic body] CROW: Uh-oh. [Middle section of CROW's body slips down, yellow Commercial sign flashes] MIKE: We'll be right back. [Commercials] [SoL] [CROW has somehow survived this ordeal and even has a new midsection.] TOM: [Leslie Nielsen] He ate a can of Drano. Sure, it'll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow inside. [Red MADs light flashes] MIKE: Uh-oh. It's Madame Pearl! [WMoD] PEARL (minus BOBO): Hello, boys. How was your last cinematic masterpiece? [SoL] ALL: It SUCKED! [WMoD] PEARL: Aww, that's too bad. But I have decided to be generous and give you a little taste of Sailor Moon, called "Goku meets Serena". It's about a boy with a few extra chromosomes and everyone's favorite airhead senshi. Eat hot you-know-what, lackies!! [BOBO suddenly beams back into WMoD, with his clothes disheveled and an angry expression on his face.] PEARL: BOBO! How did you get back from SAIYA-JIN's ship? BOBO: He, er, she, uh, SAIYA-JIN threw me out! PEARL: Why? BOBO: Because...he said that I had a red butt and will never do!! Wahhh! PEARL: Oh, brother. BOBO: Oh, the monkey's never good enough, is he? It's not fair!! It's not!! PEARL: Bobo, just relax and send our little group the fanfic. BOBO: Okay, Lawgiver, [SoL] [Lights and klaxon go off] ALL: WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN! [Dog Bone, 6,5,4,3,2,*] Intro. : This is a Dragon ball/ Sailor Moon crossover. What would happen if young Goku could meet Serena for one day ? MIKE: Probably something lame. What kind of crazy things would happen? TOM: Pigs would fly? OK. So this is a crossover. CROW:[author] So, bite me. This story happens one day in the beginning of both series. Goku is looking for the four star sphere and Serena has just met with Amy, Sailor Mercury. This is a very silly story, MIKE: I'll drink to that. just because I was in the mood. TOM: ...to give pain. Even if you have never seen Sailor Moon, MIKE: Or would never want to... or just have seen a episode or two, you'll understand the story. CROW: or not. Goku Meets Serena By Sarah Slutz CROW: ... MIKE: No. Goku is flying in Kioten, enjoying the breeze in his hair, looking at the city below him. He smiles, "Soon I'll find my grandfather's sphere !" TOM:[singing] Over the river and through the woods...to grandfather's sphere I go... Suddenly, a shrill female scream breaks the silence. Goku looks down, searching for the source of the sound and sees MIKE: The Kennedy compound. a girl in her teens, blond, blue eyed, with two gleaming ponytails hanging from each side of her face. A strange and ugly monster is attacking her. CROW: The spirit of Jesse Helms. TOM: You know, I'd bet that monster would be scary if we knew what it looked like. "HELP ! ! HELP ! !" Serena screams. The monster is laughing. "Nobody can hear you girlie. I'll take your energy, hahahahaahahaha !" CROW: [monster] I'll take your candy too, hehehehehe! "If only I could hide for a moment", Serena thought. "I could transform into Sailor Moon, and maybe even call Amy. But I can't transform in front of him." MIKE: [Serena] He might snicker-snag on me! She shuddered, and had a great urge to cry, but tried to be brave. Crying won the battle, and soon she was in a puddle of tears TOM: Calgon, take me away! and more shrill screams filled the air. "Stop yelling, girlie, or I'll have to get rough with you" MIKE: [monster] 'Cause I like it rrrrough! CROW: [monster] I have to do that. It's in my contract. Serena watched helpless as the monster approached, and a new set of tears flooded her face. TOM: [weatherman] Severe flooding along the nose and nasal-labial trough, eyes are under 1 meter of water... Goku, watching from Kioten, decided to help. MIKE: Ooh, such character development. It's wonderful, isn't it? "Stop hurting her," said a child's voice behind her. She spun around startled. She saw a little boy with a stick in his back, looking menacing at her attacker. CROW: You're kidding, right? TOM: [boy] All the children have their own sticks! And that was all she could do to stop laughing. Soon, she was rolling in the floor, her body convulsing with hysteric laughter. MIKE: She had learned that LaToya Jackson was putting out another album. "Why are you laughing ?" asked Goku. He didn't see anything funny. CROW: Neither do we. "Go away, little boy, I'm playing with this girlie." MIKE: [monster] 'Cause I like it rrrrough! "Miss, are you hurt ?" CROW: [Serena] I'm rolling around with laughter. What do you think? Serena was still laughing at Goku, but then, she said : "Go away, or the monster will hurt you." TOM: So the boy is Goku, after all? MIKE: I tell you, this character development, whew! "No, I'll defeat him." CROW: [Goku]...and I'll give 'im a wedgie! TOM: [Goku] and a 'rear admiral'! Then, both Serena and the monster looked at him and began laughing again. MIKE: [Serena] Do you realize what you just said? "What's so funny !" TOM: Let me see, you are a little boy with a *stick* in his back, and you want to fight a *big* and *scary* monster. "Little boy, now I'll play with you." CROW: [Goku] Thank you, Mr. Jackson! MIKE: That was low. Serena, seeing her opportunity, went to a corner to hide. Then she yelled "Moon Prism Power ... Make-Up !" TOM: Hey! Wait a minute! This is a Dub fic! It should be Moon Healing Activation or something like that! A transformation happened, and now she was Sailor Moon. She decided she didn't have time to call Amy, CROW: [Serena] Yeah! As if soap bubbles would hurt a monster! she had to save the little boy. The whole process was seconds long, and Goku was looking at the monster. TOM: [falsetto] Ooh, rock my world, baby. "You'll have your punishment for being bad." MIKE: [Goku] No dinner for you tonight. Now go to your cave. "Yeah, and what are you going to do, call your mommy ?" CROW: [Goku] Actually, I was going to call *your* mommy. "Now, you'll see..." MIKE: [monster] Monsters *can* dance! Goku was going to take out his magic rod CROW: Hey! I didn't know this was a lemon! MIKE: Crow... when Sailor Moon appeared. "I won't let you harm this little boy. You are a mean man that harms helpless people. TOM: Like Rush Limbaugh. CROW: I thought this *mean man* was a *monster*. I'm Sailor Moon, and I'll punish you, in the name .... of the moon !" MIKE: Oooh! I'll harm you! Goku looked at her and said : CROW: [Goku] I can't believe you just said that! "Who are you ?" TOM: The Warrior of the Lost World. CROW: Yoko Ono. MIKE: A Woozle named Peanut. A huge drop of water formed on top of Serena's head. TOM: Confirming the fact that Serena has water on the brain. Thank you! "I said I'm Sailor Moon." CROW: [Serena] Got it, dickweed? "Sailor what ?" MIKE: Sailor Motel, on Route 5 in Dunkirk. "Sailor MOON !" TOM: Geez, doesn't anybody listen anymore? MIKE: Must have *Goku* in the ears. BOTS: [groan] "And what are you doing here ?" CROW:[whoever's speaking] I'm here to see the circus. "I came to save you." TOM: [whoever's speaking] We can still escape this fanfic. "Me ? I'm going to defeat that mean monster that was harming a girl. Where's the girl ?" MIKE: Where's the beef? CROW: Where's the speaker? "Ummm, ahem, clears throat, heheheh, nervous face, I...I...I....I, took her to a safe place, yes, that's what I did." TOM: [Serena] Oh, yeah, and she didn't transform into Sailor Moon...oops... "You sure ?" MIKE: [Serena] No. "Yes, hehehe." Serena took a look at his tail and screamed. CROW: [Serena] Eww! He's got fleas! "What's that ?! ?! ?! ?!" "What ?" TOM: Chicken butt. CROW: Um, why doesn't the monster attack them while they're fooling around? "That fury thing in your back, what is it ? ? ! ? ! ? ! ? !" MIKE: [Goku] Oh, that. Well, folks on my side of the family have a little trouble with moles. They get kinda big. "This ? It's my tail, isn't it cute ?" CROW: [falsetto] I spend about 30 miutes each day combing and teasing it every day, so it looks really pooofy, and ooh, it is just sooo cute! "Aaaaa...aaaa.... Tail ? ? ? ? ! ! !" TOM: Yesss...yess...Tail!!! "Yes." MIKE:[Goku] You see, I'm a Mog, half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend. "I'm sorry to interrupt this chit chat here, children, but I was trying to take this girlie's energy. CROW: [monster] 'Cause I'm the monster, and all, you know... Go away, boy, I don't need you." TOM: [snooty] This victim is of much higher quality. "No you don't. I wont go away. MIKE: [Goku] You can't make me! Nyah! I'll fight you !" CROW: [Goku] I'll give you such a pinch! "Little boy, please go away to a safe place, you have been very brave, but I can handle it" MIKE: [monster] As if I was concerned with your safety. TOM: [tinny] BEEP BEEP 10 seconds to plot disintegration... Then, Sailor Moon took the golden head peace that was in her hair, swung it around and threw it. CROW: Therefore, it was no longer at *peace*. In the air, it transformed into a flying disk, and it struck the monster. MIKE: Whatever happened to the attack line? TOM: The author doesn't know it. Silence, then laughter. CROW: From the audience. "Hahahaha, your little trick didn't have effect, Sailor Moon. Now I'll kill you and bring you as a trophy to my master." TOM: [Torgo]LoOk What I bRoughT yOu, MaSTer. MIKE: [master] A dubbed senshi? Take it away. Serena begun crying again, and as huge tears left her eyes, Goku said. CROW:[Goku] You know, Serena, you're a real wuss. "Now it's my turn." He began making strange movements with his hands, TOM: ...which became very messy, since there was not an outhouse nearby. MIKE: [aghast] Tom, that is absolutely disgusting! CROW: Whoo! Way to go, Servo! and Sailor Moon stopped crying. "What are you doing ?" MIKE: [Goku] I'm making strange movements with my hands. Read 'da script, will ya? "Kame Hame Haaaaaaaa ! ! !" The monster was made dust. TOM: BEEP! [101 SYNTAX ERROR "How did you do that ?" CROW: [Goku] You know, I'm not exactly sure myself. "That's the Kame Hame force, and it is a martial arts technique that Muteroshi taught me." MIKE: Oh, the same one who brought us the "Very Lame" force. TOM: May the Force be with you! "You know martial arts ?" CROW: [Goku] Martial Arts, Sailor Moon. Sailor Moon, Martial Arts. "Yes, I have to go..." MIKE: ...pottie. Goku mounted Kioten. CROW: You see, Goku was a lonely boy... MIKE: CROW!!! "Thanks !" TOM: ...for NOTHING! "You're welcome !" CROW:...weenie! "What's your name ?" MIKE: Snoop Doggy Dogg! "Goku" "I'm Serena" TOM:[Chevy Chase]...and you're not. But Goku was too far away to hear her. CROW: Goku was lucky. This must be the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me Serena TOM: Besides the loss of my punctuation. thought. Well, after meeting a talking cat. CROW: And getting *snowballed* by that same cat. MIKE: Please don't bring back that image. She took her special communicator and called Amy. TOM: [Amy] I told you not to call me here! "What is it Serena ? I'm studying" CROW: [Amy] You see, I'm not going to wind up at a McJob like yourself. "You'll never believe what happened to me. I was attacked by a monster and then a boy with a tail came, and I tried, but couldn't defeat him and then the boy made some martial arts and..." MIKE: [Serena]...the room filled with these pretty colors and I passed Courtney Love on the way to Lalapalooza... "You have been reading too many mangas." TOM: Or (b) eating the purple berries again. "But it's true ...." CROW: [Serena] I can fly! The end. MIKE: What, just like that? TOM: Mike, what the hell was that about? MIKE: I shall never know. CROW: You know, the fanfic would have been pretty good if we knew what was going on. TOM: I hear you, crow. MIKE. Let's amscray. [1,2,3,4,5,6,Dog Bone] [SoL] TOM: Oh, brother, Mike, sometimes you have to wonder... is it really worth it? CROW: I guess it's only a matter of time now. MIKE: Well, look on the bright side... Pearl Forrester isn't as rabidly evil as Dr. Forrester, so she's not as concerned with me losing it completely, right? TOM: Um, I dunno. CROW: But I'm really tired of these SM fics. Pearl Forrester can get stuffed! [WMoD] PEARL: I heard that, ingrates. Next time, it's an *OSCAR lemon* for you!!! BWAH,HAHAHAHAHAH! [SoL] CROW: AAAAAAH! What have I done? MIKE: Crow, we're going to give you a head start of 10 seconds. Start running. [CROW bolts offscreen, and MIKE and TOM give chase. Later, they catch CROW and hit him repeatedly.] CROW: Ow! Ow! Mommy!!!! [Fade to credits, CROW can be heard yelling OW! in background.] All characters, places and such from Mystery Science Theater 3000 are copyright 1997 Best Brains, Inc. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred. This is a work of fiction based on another work of fiction, so any insults directed towards Sarah are just for fun. Okay? Okay? S'Allright. Standard disclaimers apply. I'm doing this for fun, not for money. > "Now, you'll see..." > Goku was going to take out his magic rod when Sailor Moon appeared. Keep circulating the posts 25 August 1997