Sailor Moon meets DiC WRITTEN BY: Dr. Thinker. MSTIED BY: Seth C. Triggs a.k.a. Lefty CO-MSTIED BY: Jamie Jeans a.k.a. JOLT!!! Jamie Jeans: Well, this is my sixth team MSTing in which I do the host segment and add only one or two riffs. I really like doing it! Seth C. Triggs: This isprobably the most pointless fic I have ever MSTed, excepting any given Sailor Moon anti-fic. :) On with the show!! LEGAL STUFF: All the characters and concepts of Mystery Science Theater 3000 belongs to best Brains Inc. Please do not sue us for we are merely borrowing your characters and not making any claim on them. To Dr. Thinker, this fanfic is yours. Thanks for allowing us to MST it. Now, on to the show! ________________________________________________________________________ DEEP 13 Dr. Forrester stormed around the lab in frustration. The latest fanfic, already proving to be one of the worst Sailor Moon self-insertion fanfics, had failed to do its job of breaking the will of Mike and the bots. That, coupled with the fact that their latest invention had blown his out of the water, had placed the scientist in an extremely bad mode. But even as he was pacing about his lab, devising a way to bring down Mike and the bots, Frank came up behind him, holding a leaflet of paper in his hands. "Oh Clayton. I believe I have the thing to lighten your mood," the assistant said. "Sorry, but I'm not interested in seeing Showgirls again." "No, not that! It's a new fanfic by Dr. Thinker, and boy, is it bad!" Turning around Dr. Forrester snatched the fanfic out of Frank's hands and quickly looked it over. Almost immediately, he reeled back on his feet, a massive headache assaulting his mind. As soon as he had recovered, a smile spread across his face. "Why, Frank! This is brilliant! With this fanfic, I shall finally break their wills and rule the world! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!" "Don't you mean us?" Frank asked. "Details, details..." Walking over to the control board, Dr. Forrester slapped the button, opening up the link to the Satellite of Love. "Hello boobies! It's time for you newest experiment!" SATELLITE OF LOVE "Already?" a bewildered Mike asked. "Yeah, we just barely got down with Time Change," Tom added. "General Peterson," Crow muttered, shuddering all the while. DEEP 13 "Oh believe me you goody two-shoes! You'll wish you had one of his fanfics once you're done with this one. It's called Sailor Moon Meets DIC and it's done by none other then my good friend, Dr. Thinker. Enjoy... or not!" Handing the fanfic to is assistant, the scientist ordered him to send it up. SATELLITE OF LOVE The lights and sirens started to flash, ensuring the usual pandemonium. "OH NO! WE'VE GOT DR. THINKER SIGN!!!" everyone shouted as they rushed into the theater. (DOOR SEQUENCE) 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2...1... >Sailor Moon Meets DiC. >by Dr. Thinker CROW: Here we go again. MIKE: Well, he is getting better. TOM: Not by much. > Note: Japanese names are use to the near the end in which I > switch to American. TOM: Uh... MIKE: Don't read, just smile and nod. >Japanese name are copyright 1992 by > Toei. American Names are copyright 1995 by DiC. Please > don't sue. TOM: [Dr. Thinker] I'll wash your car for a week!! > ----------------------------------------------------------------- CROW: Meep meep!! > DiC Chief: Welcome, Sailor Moon. > Bandai: Welcome Usagi Tskunio, leader of the Sailor Scouts > Usagi: WHY ARE YOU IN AMERICAN, Bandai?. MIKE: Uhhh? TOM: Why is *Usagi* in America? CROW: I don't think Tom is going to survive this fic. > Bandai: I'm in change of toys of another famous American show not > made by this company but some of Toei's sentai footage. > Usagi: POWER RANGERS? I check the store shelf for room. And their > was none. When will my dolls be imported? TOM: Looks like Usagi is breaking the fourth wall along with Minako? CROW: Once again, Doc Thinker's Power Rangers fetish surfaces. > Bandai: Don't worry, the doll will be imported soon as you make > a deal. TOM: [Bandai] With the devil... er... I mean... us. MIKE: They shall be sent... TO ANOTHER DIMENSION! CROW: This is Bandai, Mike, not Saban. > Usagi: Ok! So what do you want, Chief. MIKE: [Ed Platt] Take 99 and check out the new KAOS warehouse. > DiC Chief: Well, Ms. Tskunio. We want to ask you a few question. CROW: Where were you on the night of the fifth?! > Usagi: Can I have some people here. > > DiC Chief: Sure. CROW: $20 per song. MIKE: Crow... > Usagi: Ami Mizuro, Minako Aino, Makoto Kino, and Rei Hino. > > DiC Chief: The whole scouts. TOM: Not the half scouts, but the *whole* scouts. MIKE: With only half the calories of a single Scout. CROW: That's *Senshi* you twerps! MIKE: Touchy. TOM: And you guys worry about *me* not making it through this. > Usagi: Toei, will give you Outer Senshi. > > Rei: Here's a English episode to watch. CROW: _Keeping Up Appearances_, right? >(DiC Chief watches. Quiet until all from the start of the theme > song to the end of the ending song.) MIKE: [DiC Chief] Hmmm... girls in short skirts... we have something here... > DiC Chief: Nice work! But I don't think American would go for > that kind. TOM: [DiC] They already have _Baywatch_. > Usagi: What the enemy? CROW: The bad guys you usually fight, but that's not important now. > DiC Chief: No. It's different then Power Ranger, most of they're > ugly. You make them different and beautiful. MIKE: [DiC] That Zoicite is pretty hot... I think I'd like to go out with him! TOM: So they think most of the Power Rangers are ugly, whereas the Senshi are beautiful... CROW: I don't know about the guy Rangers, but that first Pink Ranger... ROWL! MIKE: CROW! > Usagi: When I tell Naoko, tomorrow! > > DiC Cheif: Who is Naoko? CROW: The woman who is going to sue DIC for screwing her show up so much... > Usagi: The women who created by manga. TOM: So Naoko Takeuchi is an anime character. CROW: My head hurts. > DiC Cheif: I guess Japanese are not a stupid as their look. ALL: BOOOOOOOO!!! MIKE: Why does Doctor Thinker spend so much time insulting Japan now? TOM: Must have seen _Invasion of the Neptune Men_. > Usagi: Americans! I ready for my show to move from Japan > into English. > > DiC Cheif: No way. CROW: Or the highway. > Rei: Our voices MIKE: Produced by vibrations in your voice box, but that's not important right now. > DiC Cheif: WARM! MIKE: How about tepid? > Ami: Or names? > > DIC: HOT, REALLY, HOT!!!!! CROW: Oh puke! He's getting off on this! TOM: What do you expect with a name like "DiC"? MIKE: Tom... > Minako: Good thing, we stop at the grade school. TOM: Oh shut up, you shredder of the Space/Time continuum!!! MIKE: Still bitter, Tom? TOM: Just a little. > Makoto: Yeah, that kind with the hat with the M on it, remind me TOM: A school with its own hat? That's a big hat!! > Rei: Or your old boyfriend? > >(Makoto nods) MIKE: It wouldn't be a Sailor Moon fanfic without Makato's old boyfriend being mentioned. >(Scouts, Bandai Cheif and DiC Cheif laughs) MIKE: What the *hell* is going on?! TOM: Don't look at me, I'm only sitting here, reading this alongside you. > DiC Chief: So you saw Mighty Max. CROW: Beyond Thunderdome? > Ami: Can we get back to business. TOM: Let's not and say we did. > DiC Cheif: Ok! Your name are to weird. TOM: This from a guy named "DiC Cheif". MIKE: "DiC Chef" ...must be Lorena Bobbitt... chop-chop. TOM: Good one, Mike! CROW: Impressive... most impressive. > Usagi: Nothing is wrong with it. CROW: Not to the Japanese, no. > DiC Cheif: We did something that some in American will be easy > to do a edit. ALL: Huh? CROW: Even as Doctor Thinker improves, we will still be plagued by Thinker-isms. > Usagi: But if we change or names... we do a spilt! MIKE: [Usagi] Scouts... spill your beans! > DiC Cheif: We did "Battle of the Planets" on before. So we > are aware of that. CROW: Ace Goodheart... ugh. > Usagi: How about Serena! > >(Serena appears) TOM: Is this fic in IRC format now? > Serena: Hi! My name is Serena. Who's next for the English spilt! MIKE: No one! Run! Before your show turns into a horrible dubbed version of the original! CROW: Like Bubble Gum Crisis, and Riding with Bean, and... TOM: We get the point, Crow. > Ami: I would take Amy. CROW: [Ami] On an air mattress slathered with butter. >(Amy appears) > > Amy: Affimive. Spilt is OK! No errors. MIKE: [Amy] Except in my spelling. >(Ami smiles) > > Rei: No! I will not! CROW: Finally! One of the Senshi realizes the dangers of DIC doing a dub. > Serena: What a pitbull. If you don't appear! CROW: [Serena] I don't know what will happen, so give me a sec to think it out. > Rei: I rather keep by name. TOM: Ugh... > Serean: I have idea, Raye. > > Rei: Not bad! I will chose that name of Raye! TOM: [singing] Raye, a drop o' golden sun! >(Raye) CROW: Raye what? MIKE: If you see a verb, Dr. Thinker, grab one. > Raye: Hey, Meatball head! Going out with Darrien? > > Serena: Usagi, did you want that for your love-boy, Tudexo > Mask? TOM: So Darrien is Raye's idea. I never knew that. CROW: You do now. > Usagi: Nice work! You and Raye, just help us figure out to three > names for three things. TOM: And make sure they're spelled correctly! > Serena and Rei: Huh? > > Ami: Mamoru/Tudexo Karmen MIKE: Deformed Mexican step-brother to Tuxedo Kamen. > Voice: Did some say my name. CROW: The voices... the terrible voices!!! > DiC Cheif: Mamoru, I presume. > >(Maroru appears) TOM: [Mamoru] What about *me*?! > Mamoru:You are right. I did look for the perfect adult boy name. > And you give me a great name. Darrien! I like that replace for > dumpling head. CROW: *Dumpling head*? MIKE: Looks like Rei's been putting in overtime on giving out pet names. >(Darrien appears) > > Darrien:Thanks you, Raye for the name and replacement and thanks > to Serena for my hero side. Tudexo Mask. Who's next? TOM: Oooh!! Me! Me!! > Matoko: How about Lita. It's weird, and it's english. CROW: *Matako*'s a pretty weird name, too. MIKE: Pataki? TOM: So Makoto wants to make a weird name for herself? I don't get it. >(Lita appears) > > Lita: Prefect!!! CROW: State! TOM: That's *prefecture*, Crow. > I'm can wait to clean house or fight my first > monster. > > DiC Cheif: Don't worry! Be happy! MIKE: Bobby McFerrin *is* DiC Chief. > Minako: How about Mina! CROW: How about you get out of there before this transgresses any further. TOM: Too late. CROW: Damn. >(Mina appears) > > Mina: Who about that! The Sailor Scouts are born!!! CROW: [Scouts] Fanboys, here we come! >(The Sailor Senshi and Sailor Scouts smiles) MIKE: See how good your smiles are after you've gone to the Nuku-Nuku Academy of Smiling? CROW: Stop! Megane 6.7 has copyrights on that riff! He'll sue! MIKE: No he won't, he's a good guy. CROW: I'll remember that once we're in the court room. > DiC Cheif:Not bad! This is great deal! It's over. It going to > sign it right now for 65 eposides for the first season. (holds) > Take this to Teoi! Right now! MIKE: Who's Teoi? TOM: The mailboy. > Usagi: Don't worry! But don't think they would like the make up > part of our transport. So take it away. CROW: [Usagi, snooty] I don't desire to be around it. > Scouts: That suit us just find! > > Seshi: See you! SAILOR POWER-SAILOR TRANSPORT!!! TOM: CHOPPER! Rev up! MIKE: POWER UP! CROW: MOON MAKE UP! >(The Sailor Seshi disappear with the contract) > > Scouts: Let's get settle in. > > DiC: Ok! CROW: [DiC] Okay, but there's not enough room for *all* of you in my bed... MIKE: CROW! CROW: Well, he *is* named DiC. > THE END.... TOM: YES! > Reason: I just want to show, what happens when a company that > makes a dub of Japanese show. MIKE: The result is a crappy fanfic? I don't get that connection. CROW: This is like a guy who pushes an old lady down the stairs, and then says that the reason is that he wants to show what happens when a person lands on their head, crumpled in a heap at the bottom of the stairs. MIKE: This fic seems to be getting to us. Let's go! ALL: (DOOR SEQUENCE) 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... DEEP 13 "Aha! With that latest Dr. Thinker fanfic, their minds must surely have been turned to mush!" Dr. Forrester shouted. "And once I see that this is true, I shall release it onto the unsuspecting public, turn *their* minds to mush and rule the world!!!" As Frank opened up the link to the Satellite, both face-faulted at the sight of Mike and the bots calmly reading different magazines. SATTELITE OF LOVE Noticing that the link was on, Mike put his computer magazine down. "Oh, hello Dr. Forrester. How are you?" DEEP 13 "But... but..." both Dr. Forrester and Frank stuttered. SATELLITE OF LOVE "Oh, the fanfic? That was nothing," Mike replied. "Yeah," Crow agreed. "Even though it was a Dr. Thinker fanfic, it was a walk in the park." "And my head never detonated at all," Tom added. "It smoked a bit, but not much more then that." DEEP 13 "You idiot! You said it would break their wills!" Dr. Forrester shouted as he hit Frank. "No I didn't," Frank protested. "Oh... just push the button, Frank! I'll deal with you later. And as for you, Mike, Tom and Crow... until next time!" BLIP!!! FWWWOOOOOSSSSSHHHH!!! \ / \ / \ / 0 / \ / \ / \ ______________________________________________________________________ Send any C & C to Jamie Jeans at: xwing@uniserve.com Send any C & C to Seth C. Triggs at: trigsc41@buffalostate.edu