Dr. Thinker A Sailor Moon MSTing by Dr. Thinker MSTIED BY: Seth C. Triggs a.k.a. Lefty CO-MSTIED BY: Jamie Jeans a.k.a. JOLT!!! JAMIE JEANS: Another Dr. Thinker MST... I think we're patterning ourselves as the ones designated to handle these ones, Lefty. Scary thought, eh? SETH C. TRIGGS: This one actually scares me... Jamie appears *in* the MSTing. Anyway, on with the show!! LEGAL STUFF: All the characters and concepts of Mystery Science Theater 3000 belongs to Best Brains Inc. Please do not sue us for we are merely borrowing your characters and not making any claim on them. We also do not claim the fanfic we are MSTing as ours. And thanks for having a great sense of humor, Dr.Thinker! Now, on to the show! ________________________________________________________________________ The blinking red light told Mike that Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank had yet another fanfic to send up to the Satellite of Love. But even as he slapped the button and simultaneously called out to Tom and Crow, a bad sensation began to gnaw at the back of his mind. He couldn't really identify as to why he felt it, but only that it was there. "Hello Dr. Forrester. Got another new experiment for us?" Mike asked. DEEP 13 Dr. Forrester looked up from the console he was working on, a very worried look on his face. As the camera panned about to show Frank working on plugging two cords together, it also revealed a massive amount of new technology and other consoles in the lab. Large cables streamed from the nuclear reactor at the back of the lab, making it look like someone had spilled noodles all over the floor. The consoles themselves looked as if they had been pulled directly out of Star Trek: TNG, and were emitting bleeping noises. Various lights showing information of all kinds blinked and beeped. "Ah, hello there Mike. Me and Frank here were just making preparations for today's experiment," Dr. Forrester explained. SATELLITE OF LOVE Tom and Crow, having just arrived on the bridge, heard Dr. Forrester's words and became curious. "Why do you need all of that junk for the experiment?" Tom asked. DEEP 13 "Oh, you'll see," Dr. Forrester replied before breaking out into maniacal laughter. Turning to Frank, he nodded. The assistant returned the nod and immediately set to work on the largest of the consoles, calling out as he worked along. "Okay: Containment field at 100 percent... Primary Systems online... Backups on standby... Reactor output at 100 percent with backup generators on standby. We're all set to go!" "Excellent. Initiate Fanfic Send up!" Dr. Forrester commanded. Frank nodded and tapped on the console a few more times. The lights in Deep 13 dimmed momentarily as the reactor drew more power. SATELLITE OF LOVE "This is bad," Crow said. "This is very bad," Tom added. "Extremely bad," Mike said. Suddenly, the SOL started to rock violently even as the lights started to blink and the alarms started to sound. "WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!!" They all shouted as they ran into the theater. [DOOR SEQUENCE... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...] CROW: Think the satellite can hold up, Mike? MIKE: I hope so, but what could be so bad as to make her strain like that? GYPSY: Whatever it is, I'll do my best to keep the satellite together. TOM: Thanks! > Dr. Thinker > A Sailor Moon MSTing by Dr. Thinker TOM: Oh man, guys... we're in for it now. CROW: I just want to say that it's been a pleasure riffing all these bad fics with you guys... hope we meet again sometime in that satellite in the heavens... MIKE: So that's what's causing all of that groaning noise! CROW: No comment. > > To Lawyers: DIC, Inc./Teoi, Inc. has rights to Sailor Moon. > Brest Brain has the rights to Mystery Science > Theather 3000. MIKE: "Brest Brain"? TOM: I thought we were out of Eden Prairie, not a French City. MIKE: Tom... don't break the fourth wall, you'll cause a paradox. TOM: Oh. Sorry. > > To Readers: This time, I'm doing my own work. The file is a > self-insertion by myself called "Sailor Moon: Lord Thinker." ALL: ARRRRRRGHHHHH!! CROW: [p.a.] WARNING... MASSIVE HURTING AHEAD... THIS IS NOT A DRILL! > To Timothy McLees: Please, I begging you to place my MSTing on > your webpage. MIKE: [Dr. Thinker] Since my pleas of subservience have failed, I will wire a transit bus with explosives set to detonate if it goes under 50 mph. [The BOTS look at MIKE and slowly edge away] > To Others MSTing on SMAV's TOM: Small, Mindless, Arrogant Voles? MIKE: Supremely Mild Anchovies and Veal? CROW: No, I think he means Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings. TOM: You realize that it will be extremely difficult to avoid breaking the fourth wall. MIKE: We're in for it, guys. CROW: As Joel used to say, stay frosty! and WN9's dibslist, you can use by > bot, Diana. Here's some facts about her. CROW: She's a Virgo, has measurements 36-16-39, and enjoys romantic movies, opera, and fine cuisine. Diana first appear in my > fourth MSTing, Dr. Collide. TOM: You know what? Dr. Thinker has a Doctor fetish. > She was made out of computer parts. MIKE: You know, stuff. > If case some what to build her. He want you get if you want to > make her. TOM: Uggghhh... [head explodes] CROW: Well, that was fast. MIKE: Gypsy! We need a new head for Tom!!! [GYPSY comes in, and drops a new head for TOM into MIKE's hands. MIKE begins to repair TOM while riffing.] > Daina is made out from Computer items CROW: What about Diana? > Head - Six computer mouses, cut open, and glue sideways. MIKE: Then inhale two tanks of cyanide. CROW: A little dark today, Mike? > Eyes - Two red circle from VCR (Power and Rec are th most > logical ones) and place white buttons on them. CROW: Mike, I'm scared. MIKE: Me too, little buddy, me too... > Mouth - The other half of the printer (See Legs) > Body - Three speakers, with buttons remove. > Arms/Legs - 16 computer mouses > Legs: One printer cut in half. MIKE: And Presto... you have a mock-up of Johnny #5. > She is the most careful person. She likes to suft the Internet. > She likes 70's American cartoons and dumb animations. TOM: [now repaired, but weakly] Like _Dexter's Laboratory?_ > She had a > problem with people insulting her creator, Dr. Thinker. CROW: Hint hint... MIKE: I smell a revengefic!! > ------------------------------------------------------------ > Holobraca. > 0:03P.M. TOM: Uhhh... what time is that? If it's O:03, it's 12:03 AM... but P.M. doesn't have an hour beginning with 0... MIKE: [grabbing TOM] Tom!!! Don't think about it!! We don't want to lose you!! >(Mike and the three out of the four, Tom, Diana, Mike are > standing beside each other on a very long plation near a stair) CROW: What's a *plation*? MIKE: Hmmm... a platypus station! Plation!!! CROW: That was bad, Mike. > Mike: Who has the bag, Tom? MIKE: Hey man, you got the stuff? > Red Bot1: Mike, Diana has it! TOM: [Diana] I do not have an STD!! > Diana: Yes. We have lots of cures items... > Crow: Even magic? > Diana: Yes. Lots of AP items to! CROW: But what does Advanced Placement have to do with this? > Crow: We going to need them! Let get that undecipherable writter! MIKE: John Ritter? > Tom: That is not a word. > Crow: Don't MiST me, now! > Mike: Cut it out, your too!!!! TOM: [Crow and Tom] What about our too? CROW: We might as well riff ourselves, because I don't think our dignity will live through this! > Crow: Let's get revenge for making Tom did head explosions up > every time, he makes his do a misting!!!!!!! > ALL: YEAH!!! LET'S GO!!! MIKE: [dopples] Yeah... where? TOM: Hey, ho! Let's go! >(Mike, Diana, Tom, and Crow runs down and meet a man in green > coat) TOM: Green Lantern? What is he doing here? > Mike: Your are died, Dr. Thinker!!! CROW: I am? I was wondering why my flesh was falling off in big chunks. > Dr. Thinker: In your dreams! > Mike: Let's get him! CROW: Doesn't Thinker wear a yellow coat? MIKE: Who cares, it's self-insertion. >(Dr. Thinker turns into a gaint creature, half-dragon, half- > computer) ALL: Bill Gates!! TOM: What's *gaint*? [head smokes] MIKE: Tom, no. > Dr. Thinker: Think you can defeat me. In your dream! > Mike: We can! And we did it!!! > Dr. Thinker: Then let's make his quick and painless death! CROW: [Thinker] Force him to listen to Back Street Boys! > Mike: BOLT10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! > Crow: ICE10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! > Daina: FIRE10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! > Tom: QUAKE10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOM: FIC SUCKS!! MIKE: Dr. Thinker is also endangering the exclamation point population! CROW: Where's Woodsy Owl when you need him? >(Author Note: They are not spaces in spells in any game. So don't > get mad as wet hen about this one...now back to your normal > MiSTing) MIKE: Huh? TOM: My goodness, if Thinker writes like this on a "normal MiSTing", think how bad it would be if he had a *bad* day!! [ALL wince] CROW: You do know that you just scared most of the people out there reading this. MIKE: Don't say anymore Crow! You'll rip apart the fourth wall! >(Dr. Thinker's creature turns into a mud) CROW: ...pack? > Tom: Yes! We did it! We save the word! > Crow: Yes, but look! MIKE: [Crow] That other word is in trouble. >(Lights turns green) TOM: And... they're off!! CROW: We can only hope. > Crow: Let's likes it's the only blowing up the main's earth head > quakes. MIKE: Uh? CROW: Is it just me, or is the syntax undergoing entropy? > Tenchi: This way! > Jammie: And hurry!!!! ALL: [stunned silence] TOM: Guys... we seem to have severely broken the fourth wall now. MIKE: Whatever did they do to deserve this?!! > Diana: WARP!!! CROW: [Picard] Engage. >(We see a ship station explode as a another space craft, flews > out into the space) TOM: What have we learned today, kids? Don't put foil in the microwave. > Tenchi: You did good! > Jammie: You save the world! > Tom: Let's go home. CROW: WHAT WAS THAT?!! MIKE: Settle down, Crow... it has hardly started. >(RED LIGHTS FLASHINGS) > Tom: (sadly) Magic Voice, save program and exit! > Crow: (ditto) Too bad, it was the real one. ALL: Wha?? MIKE: So... Dr. Thinker has programmed a robot, two MST authors, a blow-up the world scene, and a space battle into a holodeck? TOM: [bangs his head against the seat] The PAIN!! THE PAIN!!! > ----------------------------------------------------------- > SOL > Mike: What up, Zemorus? CROW: [Zemorus] Nothin', homes. > ----------------------------------------------------------------- >[Hotel Room] MIKE: Oh, I just know Jim Bakker is going to be in this. >(Dr. Thinker is sitting on his hotel room) TOM: Looks like Thinker's been hitting the Cheez-Puffs too hard lately. MIKE: Lo and behold, an Oscarism makes it into a Dr. Thinker story. > Dr. Thinker: Nice work, Mike? Did you like > my game. CROW: [Thinker] It's the hardest game of Spider you've ever played!! > ---------------------------------------------------------------- >[SOL] > > Mike: You did good. But why did you make Oscar, the toughest? > When you were the last boss and too easy to beat! TOM: Dr. Thinker made a game for himself? How cute! MIKE: Why doesn't he make a grammar tutor for himself, too? CROW: Gee, you're bitter!! MIKE: This fic is getting to me. > ------------------------------------------------------ >[Hotel Room] MIKE: Where Bill Clinton was interviewing another intern... > Dr. Thinker: He is one of the most hated person on the planet! CROW: Newt Gingrich? TOM: One of the Spice Girls? MIKE: He said a "he", Tom. > But I'm the most smartest. And plus, the ship station is only the > half-way point! TOM: [Thinker] After that... MEGA-MALLS! BWAH, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! > ---------------------------------------------------- >[SOL] > > Tom: Yeah, I'm Tenchi. But why did you place those easy slimes > that give use 99999999 EX and 999999 GP? MIKE: Don't forget 999999 BS. CROW: Don't give him any ideas, Mike. > ----------------------------------------------------------------- >[Hotel Room] TOM: [Bill Clinton] Now you'll see why they call me "Slick Willie"! MIKE: Ugh!! Tom!! CROW: [retches] > Dr. Thinker: To get your levels up. > ------------------------------------------------------------ >[SOL] > > Tom: That's gives us different 10 different levels? MIKE: Hello? IS THERE SOME SEMBLANCE OF ORDER HERE?!! TOM: We are in the midst of Chaos itself. > --------------------------------------------------------- >[Hotel Room] > > Dr. Thinker: I know! It's one of the many problems facing > vetarning gamers who likes consle RPG. I'm one of them. Any more > question, other then about that my RPG game? CROW: Yeah... is there any way we can cancel this fanfic? TOM: Not likely. > ------------------------------------------------------- > >[SOL] > > Crow: I have one? Why are you in hotel room? MIKE: [sarcastically] I'm sure we all would like to know. > ----------------------------------------------------------------- >[DEEP 13] > > Dr. Thinker: Good one, my gold friend. I'm watching the Author > Avator Tourment at Neo-Toyko. I'm in VIP section. Too bad, my > self-insertion fan-fiction did MSTing. TOM: Well, next time... TRY SENTENCE STRUCTURE!! MIKE: Easy, Tom!! TOM: It hurts!! > -------------------------------------------------------- >[SOL] > > Mike: (nervously) Don't tell me that you going to send that to > us? CROW: [Thinker] What do you want from me? I'm evil... EVIL!! > ------------------------------------------------------------- > >[Hotel Room] > Dr. Thinker: Yes, and something esle. A MSTing of another one of > my work! Have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOM: And that means *double* pain for us. MIKE: [looks up] Oh, how have we disgraced you? > ---------------------------------------------------------------- >[SOL] > > Tom: We should have not exit that game half-way though!! >(All Lights Flashes) CROW: I knew we should have fixed those fuses!! > Crow: Let's teach Dr. Thinker, the ABC of MSTing..become we have > the FAN-FICTION SIGN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOM: How about just teach him the ABCs? MIKE: Tom... TOM: Sorry, I'm just bitter. > {6} > >[5] > > *4* CROW: Here we go guys... descent into the silence... > ^3^ TOM: Looks like someone rearranged that guys face! > -2- > >(1) > > ------------------------------------------------------------- MIKE: [pirate] Aye, ye'll walk the plank now, laddie! >[Theather] CROW: Locklear? > Mike: Dr. Thinker is looking for some more head action to be > MSTed. ALL: EWWWWWWW!!! CROW: Oh, man... Dr. Thinker has delved into porno. > Crow: Why did you say that? > Mike: Beat me, Dr. Thinker is today, script writer. > Tom: (Best Brain Writer) Run for the Hill, Dr. Thinker is in > writer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MIKE: [singing] The hills are alive... with the sound of fleeing! >Sailor Moon: "Lord Thinker" TOM: Lord Thinker... Lord of the Dance!! > Crow: Does that mean, Sailor Moon going to kill him? > Tom: Let's riff this one to pieces!!! > Mike: Argeed!!!!!!! CROW: [Mr. Jinx] I hate this fic to pieces!! MIKE: Doesn't work. TOM: [Mr. Jinx] I hate this feces to pieces!! [MIKE stares at TOM] >by Dr. Thinker > > ALL: >ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH>HHH!!! > Diana: Why did we do that? > Crow: To get it out of system. CROW: Well, actually I wouldn't do that to get it out of my system, but this is actually my Thinker-ized dopple speaking, so reality has no meaning here. Thank you. >Note 1: No, you don't have a problem with your eyes. TOM: WHY?! > Tom: (Old man) I thought it was a dream. > >I going to insert my self into a short Sailor Moon story. MIKE: First it was his MSTies and now his stories. This is surely a sign of the apocalypse. > ALL: AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! MIKE: That's double for us. CROW: No, we'll run out of letters. >This has nothing to do with my three series, "Sailor Moon: >Neo-Scouts", "Sailor Moon: Sailor Sun", and "Sailor Moon: >Robotical Additional". TOM: [Thinker] ...except that it is likely to cause as much pain. > All: There is a god! MIKE: [all] ...and he owns Microsoft!! >Note 2: DIC owns Sailor Moon. I own Lord Thinker and his story. >Don't sue me. TOM: Considering I have very little of value... MIKE: TOM! TOM: I'm sorry, but the fanfic is really getting to me. > Crow: I have sexually intercouse with you for the rest of you > life!!! > Mike: Crow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CROW: He stole that scthick from me. I think he's mocking us. Can we smite him? TOM: No can do. > Note 3: C&C, MST, and would be editors e-mail at > winkstwo@sssnet.com.. Flames are not allow. MIKE: Let me guess... THINKER DELETE KEY!!!!!!!! CROW: Nice one, Mike! > Tom: TOO LATE!!!!!!!!!!!! TOM: [deep] You are NOT ready. MIKE: Playstation. > Note 4: Time is just about 4 months after Moon heals Sailor > Gaxlia. Sailor Moon had her seventeen birthday, 1 month after > that battle.. CROW: That's an algebra problem, right? > Tom: (Serena) Did I married Darrien? TOM: Geez!! I know Serena is dense, but not to know if she's married? Come on! >---------------------------------------------------------- > > Mike: Any one who to get a the DOC, a new computer sign on the > line above > Crow: We might run space. > Tom: We might run of ink. MIKE: I have a feeling that we said that before. CROW: I think the déja vu is going to kill us. >It was just a normal day for me. I was just walk thought out my >favorite bookstore..."Border". TOM: Yeah... they're the exclusive dealers of Dr. Thinker's new book, "The Totally Incoherent Anthology of Dr. Thinker." > Tom: Run the border!!! > Crow & Mike: Taco Bell!!!!! ALL: Commercialism!! Feh! MIKE: Next will be a Nike ad. I know it. TOM: And we have Shameless Fast food Restaurant Plug # 1!!! >When I saw some unexpected. A black hair teenage...about 16 or >17 was talking a tall mustache > > Mike: Hey, you forget the comma. CROW: Actually, you forgot that moustaches don't talk. >man in near the computer book section. > > Crow: She was looking for a copy of "Sexual Activialy for > Hotheads!" > Mike: CROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CROW: Yeah, I mean, it was a *man*. What's with me, huh? MIKE: Crow, it's your dopple speaking. >I was walking by...and hear the girl take with a Japanese >accent. > > Tom: (Nazi) Zi Don't Hazs Accezt!!! TOM: That's good, because the Japanese don't have German accents. >"Manager-sama. Do you have a 'Life Book For Dummies' ?"ask the >Japanese black hair teenage girl. CROW: 'Life Book for Dummies?" MIKE: Well, I could name a few people that need a life now. > Tom: I guess Dr. Thinker is a stupid for that line right there. TOM: Yes, Dr. Thinker does seem to be masochistic. >The manger laugh out aloud some much that all most all the >people in the cafe.. CROW: [manger] Heh, heh... I knew that Jesus lad would grow up to be someone someday!! Heh, heh!! > Tom: Give weird looks at the very baka manger. MIKE: Well, it's a manger... of course it's stupid. It's made of wood. >expect for a teenage with a pile of books, which was >most make out of computer books. I only see a few stairs of blue >hair on the top of her. TOM: So this is Ami? CROW: No, he said stairs, so this must be a building carrying... books? MIKE: My head is hurting. > Tom: Huh. My head hurts. MIKE: Wow... that's really something... pain is universal. > Crow: Please, but quiet on us. > Tom: I using the rest of the game. CROW: ARRRRRGGGHHHHHH!!! TOM: I hope this finishes soon, or Crow's going to go on a homicidal rampage. > "Sorry, Raye, we don't not have that book!" MIKE: [Raye] Great!! So where is it? > Tom: (Raye) Fudge! I hoping to give that to Serena. CROW: [Raye] My crabs. MIKE: Crow... no STD jokes!! TOM: God only knows who's gonna flame us for that! >"Oh, Amy. Where's the other Scouts!" she said when the manager >was out of ear shot. > > Tom: Why are you in AMERICAN, Raye? TOM: That is *really* familiar!! CROW: That was Usagi's line last time around. >"Be careful, and don't allude to Japanese girls who dress in >navy outfits from Germany, please." Amy reply. MIKE: Well, I almost understood that sentence. Maybe Dr. Thinker is getting better. CROW: Yeah, and Minako won't rip apart the Space/Time Continuum again... TOM: That sounds disturbingly like a sequel to... you know what. > Tom: It's part of a girl uniformation in Japan's public and > private school! What are you, a stupid person! TOM: No, she's a brain-dead Amy clone in a Dr. Thinker fic. Pay attention. >"Ok! Amy. Have it your way." groans Raye. CROW: This ain't Burger King, Raye. > > Crow: (Raye) I just going to park and have get AIDS from Chad > Mike: Crow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CROW: I didn't say that, Mike. MIKE: I know, Crow... I know. TOM: Dr. Thinker seems to be getting down and nasty! >"Hi, Sailor Mercury!" > > Tom: (Raye) Look at what you do, Raye! MIKE: [Raye] Why am I talking to myself? I don't know. > "Who are you?" > > Diana: I'm Wonder Women! TOM: Not just one Wonder Woman, but a whole gaggle of 'em!! >"Deanyiunjanior Thinker" ALL: Wha? MIKE: Gesundheit!! CROW: I think we all should just move on and pretend that never existed. > All: ............. > Diana: That first name of his full name is a mouthfull....and I'm > not whisting dixide. TOM: What's *dixide*? MIKE: Some chemical found only in crappy fanfics. > Crow: Bean-yi-jan-ior? > Tom: Zean-gui-jinir? > Mike: De-yi-janior? > Tom: The Y's Janior? That's does make any cents at all. CROW: [Tom] Now dollars, we have something there. > Dr. Thinker: (off-screen) Just read, the next line. > Mike: I'm "dreading" that line. TOM: I'm "judging" this fic as terrible! >I reply "..Dr. Thinker for short." MIKE: [Thinker] But you can call me The Agent of Pain. >ALL: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! CROW: [all] We forgot to add the fabric softener!! >"We are glad we find you." > > ALL: (Dr. Thinker) WHAT? MIKE: No, that should be us... "WHAT?" >"What?" > > Tom: I'm can't belive we guess that next line. TOM: I can't believe it's not butter!! CROW: You know what? I know how we can get through the pain... we can compete against our dopples and make better riffs!! MIKE: Sounds good to me!! >"Luna thinks you are a missing person from the Sliver Millieum. >We find three of the dukes in Japan..one of them was the Baxter CROW: ...Special. TOM: [Buffalo] Whoooooo!! MIKE: [lab guy] Leave Robert Denby alone!! > Tom: I hope Molly is not going to became a Sailor Scouts! CROW: Well, to become a "Sailor Scouts", Molly has to undergo cloning, which is not possible. Thank you! MIKE: Well if there was more then one Molly, then the Nega-vese wouldn't run out of energy. TOM: Molly: The official source of energy for the Nega-verse. >family.....three more in China..three more in Miami, >Florida...five more in New York...a one more in Virginia..and >one more here. TOM: What? Family or Hampton Inns? >But it was going to be a peaceful stop. We trying >to find out more about the dukes...or Moon people that were born >some place else" MIKE: The Dukes of Hazzard? CROW: Naw, Duke of Edinburgh. > Tom: What did they say? > Crow: I don't have a clue. MIKE: Well, feel free to get one, braindead clone. >"Where's Serena and the others Sailor Scouts!" > > Mike: Add your own riff to here, please. I can't think of any > more. TOM: Gladly. They're off somewhere getting fuzzy palms. MIKE: TOM!!! CROW: Stop stealing my schtick! >"Darrein, the Outer Scouts, and Lita is at the hotel. Serena and >Mina are here as well." CROW: Where is here? TOM: [Bela Lugosi] This is this. > Tom: "What about the three cats?" > >"What about the three cats?" MIKE: See, Dr. Thinker can predict that, because he wrote both the fic and the MST! See, isn't that ingenious? CROW: Gee, Mike... you're even more sarcastic than usual! > Crow: You should been kill!!! > >Voice that sounds like some from United Kingdom. TOM: In other words, Luna. > Tom: Luna? > Crow; Who did you know MIKE: Absolutely no one!! Good night!! > Tom: According to a web page, she is a Canada. CROW: No, she is a *cat*. Pay attention. > Crow: And Canda was one once under United Kindgom's rule. > Tom: (British kid) Brillant!!!! > Mike: (American kid) That's means cool. TOM: Ummm, actually very few Canadians have British accents. >(Author's Note - Mike is right about this one. I'm saw this one > with my own green eyes. Now back to the show!) MIKE: About what? Canada or the 'Brilliant!!' thing? CROW: Dr. Thinker needed that opportunity to tell us he has green eyes. Thank you, Dr. Thinker. >"Look like Amy luck out again, Lord Thinker, I presume?" > > Tom: Lord! Does he get a castle? > Crow: May be? TOM: No, it's a delusion of grandeur... an unfortunate side-effect of self-insertion. >"Dr. Thinker, this is time period!" > > ALL: ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MIKE: What was so bad about that? CROW: Who cares? >"We found out that you make the Sailor's transformation turns. >We have find 8 pieces of the rumor Earth transformation. Moon >needs the last stick, and we wear from the notes that one of the >ten nurses of Serenity....were not give one. I don't were to >find one!" TOM: But I were to... gahh...ugghhh... [head begins to smoke] Flameout!!! [flames shoot from his dome] MIKE: TOM!! [grabs a fire extinguisher and puts out the fire.] CROW: Anyone got any marshmellows? > Crow: If you get it, him, we going to Angel Grove and get Justin. > Tom: Crow, I know your are stupid, but I know have the line to > prove it! > Crow: HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CROW: [Crow] It's not my fault Dr. Thinker has a Power Rangers fetish!! >"I try...don't how to find them!" MIKE: What, a dictionary? > Tom: (Serena) Wuss! > Crow: (Raye) Baka! TOM: Poopie head!! MIKE: It's amazing how immature we've become... but these are our annoying dopples, never mind. >BEEP!! CROW: Target Lock... destroy fanfic NOW!! > Diana: Please hang up the phone and try again! TOM: No, that's for call waiting. Sorry, cheap robot Diana. >Amy takes open a lipstick and remove a long stick. CROW: [Amy] Freudian baton, activate!! > Tom: What on Earth? MIKE: Mountains, trees, hills, water, cities, you name it! >"We were give these, my Artemis, they are commutation/power >summon." CROW: Long Island Railroad... POWER!! MIKE: No, he wants to find the answer to 3(x-5) + (7x-2) > Tom: To summon the Metal Key! >"What up?" Amy shock TOM: It's DJ Anderson now!! > Tom: (Random Scout) I wait do a check up on you. > Mike: Tom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CROW: Come on, Mike!! It's very honorable that the Scouts want to practice medicine!! MIKE: Crow... that's not me. >"Monster attack!" shouts Lita. "We scare it! It's heading in >your director!" TOM: Quick!! Get Quentin Tarantino down below!! > Tom: Run for the border, Doc Thinker. The monster is heading to > you! > >"And I thought this was going to be peaceful!" MIKE: Well, California is not all it's cracked up to be... no pun intended... > Tom: You should get the real the script lots before working with > Dr. Thinker. TOM: I liken this fic to one big, unfinished cryptoquip. >"I wish I can help, but a just a male Serena, awkward and fat!" CROW: Man... that's some insult!! MIKE: Don't call an anime girl fat!! She'll get bulimic!! > Crow: The Doc telling he's stupid. Amazing!!!!! > >"HEY!" shouted Serena. "I should you! MOON ETERNAL POWER!!!!!" TOM: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!!!! CROW: Our doom. MIKE: What the heck is going on? GYPSY: Dr. Thinker's fanfic ripped a hole in time and space! TOM: This is not good. CROW: What gave you that idea, genius! MIKE: Well, lets continue riffing and hope that the rip in time and space fixes itself. > Mike: She turns inside out! > Crow & Tom: MIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! > Crow: I can see her sexual organs!!! > Mike: CROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MIKE: LAME!!! > Crow: What was that for? > Mike: Ask the Doctor. My brain has been baked, buttered and > plated. CROW: Buttered peas, anyone? MIKE: Crow... CROW: I'm just insulting your dopple, Mike. >"MARS ETERNAL POWER!" >"MERCURY ETERNAL POWER!" TOM: This *fic* is ETERNAL!! > Crow: Jutiper Thunder Zap!!!! (Gets hastles looks from Tom & > Mike) Never mind! MIKE: Well, considering the quality of the other riffs, this one wasn't so bad. >"I wish I can help them!" I wonder out aloud CROW: [Thinker] Those poor fragmented sentences... so lonely and broken!! > Mike: We are enter the dimisonal.... > Crow: of weirds egos and super-nova types powers! > Tom: We are enter the Self-Insertion Zone!!!!! CROW: A dimension not of sight or sound, but of CRAP!! TOM: Nice, Crow... > Diana: (hums the Twilght Zone's music) > Tom: Diana!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MIKE: [Tom] Sorry, I thought you were Dale. >"You can" said Luna. TOM: With Beakman and Jax!! > Tom: (Dr. Thinker) How? > Crow: (Death Vader) Impressive! CROW: What was impressive? TOM: Despite my fear of breaking the fourth wall, I would wager that Jamie Jeans has somehow imprinted upon Dr. Thinker. MIKE: A rather astute observation, Tom... FIRST MAN: Oww! That hurt... Oh no! Not again! SECOND: This is bad. This is very bad. MIKE: Who are you people? FIRST MAN: Oh great! We're in the SOL! SECOND MAN: Like I said, this is bad. This is very bad. TOM: Hold on! You're Lefty and Jolt, aren't you? JOLT: How did you know? TOM: Wild guess. LEFTY: I had a feeling something like this would happen. CROW: Okay, now that the fourth wall has been ripped to shreds... TOM: I think it's time for a break. MIKE: Sounds good to me. [DOOR SEQUENCE... 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7...] "So what you're saying is that Dr. Thinker's latest fanfic has ripped apart a hole in time and space," Mike said. Gypsy nodded and recalibrated the sensors before bringing up Rocket Number 9. A huge hole of swirling energy hung over the SOL, occasionally throwing off swirls of energy that ran over the hull of the ship. "As you can see, the longer this fanfic is MSTied, the more the boundaries between dimensions are ripped apart." "This is beginning to sound like an episode of Star Trek," Jolt commented. "Which one?" Lefty asked. "Any one that had to do with time travel." Ignoring the authors, Tom hovered up and landed on the red button on the console, opening up a link to Dr. Forrester. "Lets see how the doc is doing. Maybe he has a way to deal with this." DEEP 13 The inhabitants of the satellite, as well as their two guests, gasped at the scene of destruction. Many of the consoles that had been standing earlier were now melted heaps of plastic and metal. Also the cords connecting them to the reactor were now blackened ash. As for the reactor itself, it was dark and inert, never to give power anymore. Standing behind one of the two remaining functional consoles, Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank worked in a fevered manner to contain the problem they had thought they could control. Noticing that the camera was on, and silently marveling that it was working, Dr. Forrester approached it. "Uh... hello Mike. Enjoying the fanfic?" he asked. SATELLITE OF LOVE "No, considering how much it's been ripping apart time and space," the temp replied. "And the huge headache we've been getting," Crow said. DEEP 13 Noticing the two new faces, Dr. Forrester frowned. "Unfortunately, it seems as if all of our preparations have been for naught. All of this..." He gestured to the blackened remains of the consoles. "Was set up to prevent such an occurrence." SATELLITE OF LOVE "Maybe you should ask for a refund," Lefty joked. DEEP 13 Dr. Forrester was clearly unamused. "Very funny. Now, the only way to bring things back to normal is to finish the fanfic *without* mentioning them." The Scientist gestured to Lefty and Jolt. Before Mike could ask, the scientist elaborated. "Mentioing any of their kind will further rip the space/time continuum apart and wreck any chance of me winning next years Evil Scientist award..." Before Dr. Forrester could go any further, there was an explosion of sparks from the console Frank was working on. The link to Deep 13 was cut off in a burst of static. SATELLITE OF LOVE "So to save the universe as we know it, we must continue to riff that bad Dr. Thinker fanfic..." Tom said. After a few moments of silence, Tom hovered off. "Oh well, living was sure nice while it lasted." "Would you get back here," Mike said, grabbing Tom and dragging him back. "Yeah! You've got to save the multiverse!" Lefty added. "By riffing a bad fanfic?" Tom countered. "We'll pay you," Jolt said as he took out his wallet. "Now hold on..." Mike began to say, but was cut off by Tom. "How much you got?" "And can I get paid too?" Crow asked. Lefty reluctantly took out his wallet and took out all of his money. Jolt did the same and they both stuffed the money in Tom's dome. "Thank you," Tom said. Then to Mike and Crow, "Shall we resume riffing?" Mike shrugged and took the red robot up in his arms. Followed by a dejected Crow, they entered the theater. "So what do *we* do?" Jolt asked. "I guess we hang out until they're done," Lefty said. "Do you want to hear about Richard Baseheart's career?" Gypsy asked. "Or we could eject ourselves out the nearest airlock..." Lefty added. [DOOR SEQUENCE... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...] >"How?" I asked. > > Mike: Not again, Tom. > Tom: I would I know? I'm not Doc Thinker. > Mike: We, I think, he is in love with you! > Tom: Diana and Gypsp are the only girl here. TOM: Excuse me while I try to sort out what just transpired there... MIKE: Tom, we don't have a lot of spare heads lying around. Just smile and nod. >"JUST SAY THINKER LORD!" reply Luna with a smile on her face. > > Diana: I like to wipe that smile off of your face. CROW: So would I... So would I. MIKE: Crow, you're scaring me... >"Ok! THINKER LORD!" I commanded. > > Tom: Like Gerenal Patterson. > Rest: DON'T REMIND US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CROW: No, you mean Peterson, right? TOM: These self-insertion authors seem to flock together sometimes. >(Author Note - Gerenal Patterson was another self-instertion from > a story called "Time Change". Thank you for read this, now back > to the MSTing) MIKE: Actually, right now people are comparing this fic to Time Change!! They say, "Time Change sucked. This fic is like brushing your teeth with Fiberglass." BOTS: Yeah, I agree. >I was blinded by the colors of green, yellow, orange, red, and >black lots. CROW: [Thinker] Dude... I am so stoned!! > Crow: He's Nav, now! > ALL: RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MIKE: There aren't any nearby, the theater seats will have to do!! TOM: What do many different colors have to do with Nav? CROW: Yeah, most blood is a deep, crimson red. MIKE: Settle down, Crow. >When I can see my hands in front of my face again. I MIKE: Know that the smoke from the bomb I had placed was beginning to clear away. TOM: My my, you're awfully dark today, Mike. >was dress in a uniform of a blue shirt with some green >button. My pants were a long jog pants...and my shoes were >replaced by wear blue walking boots with a green-based zipper. TOM: You know what I have noticed? Dr. Thinker's riffs make less sense than his own story! CROW: That's... pretty sad. > Tom: He can hide and shock any one! > Crow: I doubt that he did that first one, but the second is going > to right on target. MIKE: Huh? CROW: My thoughts exactly. >I saw Sailor Mercury, Sailor Moon and Sailor Mars TOM: [singing] But I did not saw the deputy... > Crow: Naked as a Ryu in Breath of Fire III > Mike: CROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CROW: Ryu's not my type. >"I heard of being dress weird..but this is ridiculous!" I >shouted. MIKE: Well, you did have a fascination with 70's American cartoons. > Tom: At the top of his lungs! > >"Not now!" Moon replied. CROW: [Sailor Moon] I'm talking to my mom on the other line!! > Mike: Push 1 - For Moon, Push 2 - For Mercury, Push 3 - For Mars. > Crow: HEY, Mike, I TOLD YOU NOT TO STEAL MY RIFFS!!!!!!!! TOM: Actually, that would have been more my type of riff, if it weren't so lame. CROW: Let's modify it for me... "Thanks for calling 1-900 SAILOR69!! MIKE: Crow... >Then when I saw what looks like to been a lawn-mower monster. MIKE: Oh, more of Doc Thinker's makeshift bots. > Tom: He going cut the Doc in half! TOM: Well, why doesn't he cut this *fic* in half? >"Rats! I hate lawn-mowers!!!" I shouted. CROW: [Thinker] My lawn *must* look like the Amazon!! > Mike: (Dr. Thinker) I cut my finger on one!!! TOM: Oh bloody heck! It's one mighty gusher! MIKE: Now who the heck is going to get that riff? >I look. One was a sword make out letters from computers. The >letters spelled the word Delete. MIKE: [Thinker] Well, that was misspelled in my fanfic, actually... > Tom: Hey, Diana is that your last name. > Diana: No, my last name is....uh..hu...er..I don't have one. > But that would be a good one. TOM: Here's a better one. *Diana DELETE THIS CRAPPY FANFIC!!* ARRGHH!! MIKE: Don't worry, Tom... hopefully the end will be near! TOM: Couldn't the multiverse just end now? CROW: And miss all this fun? >"Moon Star Therapy Kiss!" Serena shouts. CROW: Huh? > Tom: like a person who has bad hearing!!!!! TOM: Or one with bad spelling!! >The creature dodge the attack > > Tom: Creature by Dodge. The best in the world!!!! MIKE: Dodge doesn't make monsters. CROW: Now VW, on the other hand... >"Fudges!" Serena groans. TOM: Pastries!! CROW: Dr. Thinker likes fudge, too. > Diana: Like the others reading a Oscar lemon. > Rest: DIANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL: THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES! JOLT: Memories! Nothing more then memories... MIKE: Would you please get back on the bridge? >"THINKER DELETE KEY DRESTORY!!!" I shouted TOM: Seems to only have affected the spellchecker. > Crow: He going use on his own work! > Tom: Don't you mind in it. > Diana: (mother) Boy, I going to give your time out, if you don't > be nice. > Tom & Crow: We will good. MIKE: Why does something like this happen in every Dr. Thinker MSTing we're in? CROW: Because this is part of the Thinker Zone... where reality has no meaning. TOM: >Three beams fly out of the sword. The beams eat her like she was >just a piece of a candy bar. TOM: Say what you will, but Dr. Thinker's MSTings always leave me hungry!! MIKE: Funny, they always leave me with a bad taste in my mouth. > Tom: That lines is almost perfect I'm going to picture it!!! >(Tom's dome flashes) > Mike: MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CROW: Wow!! That Jamie Jeans sure has an influence on Thinker!! TOM: I'll say. JOLT: It's not my fault! MIKE: Didn't work for Han Solo, not gonna work for you. JOLT: Susano is going to be mad at you for using his riff! SUSANO: Oww! Oh no. Jamie? Have you been doing another of those goofy self-insertion fanfics again? JOLT: Don't mention that! SUSANO: Huh? JOLT: I'll explain on the way. >What was left was a pile of dust with a jewel. MIKE: And it sung OK. > Diana: Which Sailor Moon use dustpan to swipe up. >Crow: This story should be swipe away. CROW: Amen, dopple me. >"That's gets rid of one bad machine!" > > Tom: Gotta Machine Head, Bigger Then the Rest. > Crow: Get in my Bush CD again? > Tom: Yes. TOM: Hmmmm... which MSTer was this ripped off of? You make the call! MIKE: Maybe Tim McLees? Dr. Thinker loves him. CROW: This could set a dangerous precedent. We're really shattering the fourth wall. TOM: It's just a fanfic. You should just relax. SHINJI: Ouch! Well at least I didn't get blipped into the A-ko universe this time. MIKE: What were you saying about relaxing? Head on up to the bridge. Jolt and Lefty will explain everything. SHINJI: Okay... What the...! >"Look like that was a left over from the Nega-Moon. Good thing >we have you heard." MIKE: But what are you going to do with a "have you heard"? > Tom: Huh? > Crow: Even as he improves, he will still plague with Thinker- > isms. ALL: [stunned silence] CROW: This is really freaky, man!! MIKE: One of us said this not too long ago. TOM: [getting frantic] And Dr. Thinker will probably say what we're saying *now* in the future, too!! This is insane!! ARRRGGHHHH!! MIKE: TOM!! CALM DOWN!!! TOM: ARRRRRGGHGHGHGHGHGH!!! [TOM begins to hover around rapidly, banging into the seats.] CROW: Whoa, Tom!! [MIKE gets up and grabs TOM, and shakes him quickly] TOM!! TOM!! Snap out of it!! TOM: Ohhhhh... CROW: He'll be okay. [MIKE sets TOM back in his seat.] >"Thanks!" > > Mike: We could have do better with all nine scouts. MIKE: And a partridge in a pear tree. >"What find that last piece. When we were attack by a monster >each time, we get a piece. We just be the earth lipstick >commutation/power summon to transformation some one into Sailor >Earth." TOM: Gah? CROW: They just need some makeup to make someone into Sailor Earth, that's all. Wow!! I translated a sentence of Thinker's!!! MIKE: I think that would be a good sign for the multiverse to collapse now. > Tom: There is the plot does it makes any money? > Crow: If this was saw for a cash, it will be in the > red...very very deep! MIKE: So this plot point centers around saws in red things? CROW: Pretty much. >"OK! You don't have to make a fuss out of this!" I said as I >place my hands on hips. "Ouch! What nip me?" > > Tom: A mean cat? > Crow: One of Green Arrow's arrows? > Mike: The remote control to the Web TV? TOM: Let's try a rabid dog. CROW: Hopefully it was a good idea that bit him. >It was a very sharp antenna. I took it out! MIKE: Touché!! > Tom: Those lines must have been ghost written. No mistakes. > >"The last piece at last!" Amy shouted out. CROW: [Amy] These 3-D puzzles are harder than they look!! > Tom: Huh? > >"Now I heard of bad puns...but that was ridiculous!!!!" TOM: What pun? Where? Where? MIKE: Careful, Tom. > Crow: Huh? > >"I was serious!" Amy reply. MIKE: Huh? > Diana: My head hurts! CROW: Mine too... WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! MIKE: At least the original story is decipherable. TOM: Dr. Thinker has actually done worse riffs than his own story!! This is amazing! MIKE: Yes... Dr. Thinker has out-Thinkered himself... I can die now. >"I find some thing, I don't know!" I shouted CROW: [Dr. Thinker] It's a box labeled, "Danger: Strains of Amoebic Dysentery." Should I open it? > Tom: Huh? > >"Must be a special Magic Pocket!" Serena said. TOM: [Serena] Just like my Mystical Knickers!! > Tom: A game similar to Pokeman? CROW: "Pokeman"? MIKE: I guess it's like _Streetfighter_, except you go around poking people in the eyes. >"Magic Pocket?" I asked. > > Crow: (Serena) Were have you been...under a rock? TOM: No, up your-- MIKE: NO, Tom!! >"A magic or hyper-space pocket. Each of us has one." Amy stated. > > Tom: Oh. CROW: And just look at that stunning reaction from dopple Tom. It's great!! Now tell me that this isn't a great fic, Mike!! MIKE: Crow, calm down, buddy. >"It has something in it". I said as I took it out. > >It was a very thick book... CROW: [lustily] So nice... and succulent... MIKE & TOM: CROW, NO! > ..the cover read.... > > Tom: The History Of The Moon Kindgom > Crow: The Magic Book of Real History. > Mike: How To Get Out Of A Doctor Thinker Fan-Fiction. TOM: All of those are WRONG!!! Try "Getting out of Bad Fanfiction!" MIKE: Notice how Dr. Thinker rips on his own work there. CROW: I think he has some, shall we say, "issues". JOLT: It's called a sense of humor guys! >"The Dairy of Deanigyanoooniranraninonironainyantonaiytonur MIKE: Icki-icki williwilli wali eyaaahooooo nurk nurk piki piki ook! CROW: Ni! > Diana: I can't believe, why did he place long names for this > story? > Dr. Thinker: Just read the next line. TOM: [Diana] It says, "Bite me, I'll write what I want to." >Thinker! DO NOT READ!! OR I HAVE YOU HEAD!!" CROW: Yuck!! MIKE: Crow... never mind. > Diana: Great! Your spelling is making me baffle > Mike, Tom, & Crow: You are not allow in that saying. TOM: [dopples] So... get out of that saying!! >I read to the Sailor Scouts > > Tom: Go to Monster Insland > Crow: Shamless Godzilla Plug #4. > Tom: Hey! CROW: [German accent] And zere we have more of ze evidence of ze imprint of Jamie Jeans on Doktor Thinker, evidenced by ze zhameless plug sketch! JOLT: I can't help it if Dr. Thinker uses riffs from a great MSTier such as myself. MIKE: Oh boy. This *is* swelling someone's head. JOLT: Hey! >"What? You have a Dairy?" > > Mike: (Dr. Thinker) Does everybody have one? MIKE: No, braindead dopple, only those lucky enough to live on a dairy farm have a dairy. >We read a section. It was me created the last scout item right >before I was stop by mystery sounds. The sounds of the last >battle of the Moon Kingdom. TOM: The Death War? > Tom: Out, my head! CROW: OK!! Fine with me!! [produces a pistol] MIKE: CROW!!! Where did you get that?! CROW: Just found it. [shoots at the screen, and water squirts out.] MIKE: Oh, brother. > Crow: How far are we from the end? > Diana: Just a few more lines and one big paragarh, I think. TOM: Which will seem like an eternity to us. >I learn that is for a duke of Earth. Lady's Baxter, daughter. >Here name was Molly Baxter. ALL: What? CROW: Okay, this is just wrong. We use the Sailor Transporter to >take us to Japan. Me and Amy place the item together. Some times >a few scouts, mostly the Outer Scouts transport to the Moon to >get some ancient items.....then we were finish. I was having a >few doubts. I not very good like hands. MIKE: So she's not as good as hands. That has been established. TOM: This is beginning to look like a Koopa fanfic. > Tom: (Dr. Thinker) or feet ever. TOM: Nice riff, dopple me!! >Molly enter the room. > > Mike: On drugs. CROW: Must be the kind that gives you a horrible Dixie accent. > "Ready, to be a Sailor Scouts?" > > Diana: (Molly) No, becuase I'm in a Dr. Thinker fan-fiction. MIKE: There it is again!! Dr. Thinker is obsessed with insulting himself! >"Yes." Molly said. > > Mike: As a cold as a my teacher at college. TOM: Well, that sort of relationship is frowned upon nowadays. CROW: I'm not going to say it... it's too easy. >"Say Earth Eternal Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" MIKE: I've got it!! [Dr. Thinker] Magic Moon Pizza!! > Crow: She get turn inside out, again. > Tom: The writer should be turn inside out! MIKE: Umm... why? There would be blood and guts everywhere! Now what would that accomplish? >"Ok!", Molly stated. "EARTH ETERNAL POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" > > Tom: I think the Doc's try to get to blow my head up. CROW: Face it, all he needs is another incoherent sentence. >We were blinded by a brown light. It soon as we can see Molly >again. She was dress in a Sailor Skirt. The boots were similar >to Sailor Mercury's but brown with black cross in a black >circle. The dress was colored black. TOM: Wow... it's... not pretty. MIKE: Kinda like the Lone Ranger's outfit, eh? >The bows on both the front >and back were colored brown. The stone on the tiara, was a >brown. CROW: A brown what? Details, man, details!!! > Tom: She become the Brown Ranger. (getting hastle looks from the > rest) Uh..Never Mind! CROW: Well, "ranger", yes. TOM: Hey, I have a question... if it's a black cross in a black circle, how can you see it? MIKE: Don't worry about it. >We heard a voice. It was the most evil voice. > > Diana: Bill Gates. TOM: Nope. Try Don King. >She was dress in a black outfit. Her hair was done up in a twin >ponytail! CROW: Oh, my mistake. Dark Serena. > Tom: (Serena) I should sue for copycating my hair-do! > >"Sorry, but if The Wise Man failed in the past. I would take >over a few years later. I'm Queen Yaran!" TOM: [Dr. Thinker] Man!! This Scrabble bag sure comes in handy!! MIKE: Lets just hope that Thinker doesn't start ripping off Ratliff's way of making up names. > Tom: (Yaran) I'm now time for you to die! > Crow: (Serena) I not want to die!!!!! MIKE: [Serena] I didn't collect my $200 yet! CROW: [Serena] I didn't get to see the Corn Palace yet! >Yaran takes a magic ball out and shouts.."DARK BALL TOSS!" > > Tom: Dr. Thinker, you get silly on us. TOM: [Tom] You get self-abusive on us. >"THINKER DELETE KEY!" I shouted. >"EARTH QUAKE SMASH!!!!" Molly shouted. MIKE: TORNADO DESTROY MOBILE HOME!! > Tom: How many saw that coming? > Crow, Mike, & Diana: (at the same time) WE DID! CROW: [C,M & D] Just like that predictable riff!! >My attack was dodged, but not Molly's attack. It toss her out >the window, where Sailor Moon and the other Sailor Scouts. TOM: Good, we won't have to hear her voice. > Tom: were sleeping on. > >"MOON STAR THERAPY KISS!!!!!!!!!" Moon shouted. ALL: HUH? CROW: Well, you have to give credit where credit is due... Dr. Thinker sure is creative! > Crow: I like to have a therapy with her! > Mike: CROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CROW: Come on, Mike... what's wrong with that? Sailor Moon could be an excellent therapist, and she could help me deal with my underlying issues that prevent me from performing to my potential. MIKE: Crow... shut up. >I saw her being change right before my eyes. She was now dress >in a different outfit. More of 17-year-old nuts. ALL: WHOA!! TOM: We're getting into a really weird *area* here! Thank you!! MIKE: That was bad, Tom. > Tom: Nuts? What what? > Crow: Dr. Thinker, himself. CROW: No, Hanson. TOM: Dr. Thinker, here's a bit of C&C.. don't insult yourself, and don't riff your own work, because it gets really confusing. Thank you. MIKE: Nicely done, Tom. >"Oh, think you!" Yaran said to a sweet voice. "I don't know what >happen if that did not work." TOM: [Yaran] They might have foreclosed on my house!! > Tom: She would have kill the Sailor Scouts. > >"Beat me!" We all said to Yaran. CROW: And my dopple picks up a bat. Right? > Tom: Ok! (takes out a gun and fires it and a spray of water comes > out) What gives? > Crow: You found my squirt gun. > Tom: Fudge! BOTS: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! CROW: GODS!! We just did that today!! MIKE: Settle down, guys... besides, you don't fire a gun at someone you want to *beat*. >"Can you take to my sisters!" Yaran repled. TOM: That depends, we're not ducks, ma'am. > Tom: Like to remeet them! > >"Sure, you want to tells why you are here?" ask Serena MIKE: I'm here to see the queen!! > Tom: Some horrible hard too hard to unstand. CROW: Uhhh? TOM: For the sake of our sanity, let's forget that sentence existed. >"I was to kill Dr. Thinker, before Sailor Earth can join." Yaren >reply, "The other would follow the rabbit back into the past!" ALL: HUH?? TOM: And what is even more puzzling is that the self-inserted character wants to kill himself off. >"To late!" said the Sailor Scouts. MIKE: That's a weird name for a town. > Mike: He make a word mistake here! MIKE: Looks like Dr. Thinker is nitpicking again... >"Mr. McLees, would not behave his E-mail." I reply. CROW: [e-mail] Bad Timmy!! Bad Timmy!! TOM: Oh, no... I have a bad feeling about this... > Tom: Who is him? > >"Mr. McLees, as in Timothy McLees?" asked Amy. ALL: ARRRRRGGGHHHH!! MIKE: Everyone's breaking the fourth wall!! > ALL: OUR FAVORITE SITE BULDING ON THE WEB!!!!! > >"Yes, why?" I asked . CROW: Despite the dangers of breaking the fourth wall, this is here to encourage Tim McLees to put up Dr. Thinker's fanfics on his site. Thank you. MIKE: This isn't good. > Tom: Hey! No mistakes are there. TOM: Well, except in the plot. >"He is one of the other Lords." replied Amy. > > ALL: WHAT ON EARTH WOULD YOU THINKING, DOCTOR THINKER. CROW: I'm not going to repeat myself. MIKE: I have a sneaking suspicion that this fic was made just for us. TOM: No, ya think? >"Oh, cheesecakes!" I bellow. > > Tom: This thing was too cheesy as in 60's Bat-Man series. MIKE: Try this fic. CROW: [goofy voice] Kraft!! It's the cheesiest!! >The Sailor Scouts were rolling on the floor with laughter. TOM: They must have proofread this thing. > Crow: Hey! Speaking for floors, let's floor it out of here! >(All get up) > ---------THE END-------------------------------------------- ALL: YEAHHH!! > ALL: THANK YOU!!!! ALL: BITE ME!! > ----------------------------------------------------------- > >(1) TOM: [singing] singular sensation... > -2- MIKE: [singing] turtledoves... > *3* CROW: [singing] ...coins in a fountain... > ^4^ TOM: [singing] --the fun of it... Putt Putt for the fun of it!! >[5] CROW: ...times a lady!! > {6} MIKE: [Count] Six!! Six trash cans!! Ah, ah, ah! > ------------------------------------------------------------- >[SOL] > >(We see a pile of cardboxes with the words, "OVER-THE-COUNTER > MEDICINE PILLS) TOM: Give them some *cyanide* pills so we can end this thing!! MIKE: Tom... > Mike: Ouch! That story was bad! > Crow: Makes my head hurt! > Tom: Me, too! > Diana: Can I take three! CROW: Three arsenic suckers, there you go. MIKE: Boy, this fic really has gotten to you guys. > Crow: You should can! > Diana: Looks Mr. Pain is calling! (Hits the Mad's lights) TOM: Mr. Pain? Who let Marv Albert in here? > -------------------------------------------------------------- > >[Neo-Tokyo's Hotel Room] CROW: Just one hotel room? And I thought the *trains* would be crowded! > Dr. Thinker: So, you don't like! Good, I'm sending the print of > this story to McLees's web page! See you! MIKE: And therein lies the reason this fic was made. TOM: [British accent] How shallow, I say... bad show, chap! > \ / > O Fwoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosh!!!! > / \ CROW: Jiggle the handle!! > Crow: (Voice Over) I can't belive he use us! MIKE: I do. >(Credits) TOM: Completely Botched by... DR. THINKER. >"OK! You don't have to make a fuss out of this!" I said as I >place my hands on hips. "Ouch! What nip me?" CROW: Again, I said... "A Good Idea". MIKE: This is the first fic I have ever seen where it was made specifically for us to riff Dr. Thinker. How eerie. CROW: Let's go. [DOOR SEQUENCE... 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7...] "How is the SOL holding up?" Mike asked Gypsy as soon as he had exited the theater. "And how are we gonna get home?" Susano asked. "Well, to answer Mike's question first: The SOL is holding up fine. The disruptions in Time and Space have begun to fade and the rip just outside is healing up as well," Gypsy started. Then, turning to Susano, she answered his question. "As for your question, you can go home by taking the last escape pod through the rift." "Last escape pod?" everyone echoed. "Yeah! Apparently we had another one in a box of hamdingers," Gypsy explained. "Gee, why didn't I see that one," Shinji said. "Frankly, I just hope that it's big enough for all of us," Lefty said. "Here, I'll show you where it is," Gypsy said, walking off the bridge with the MST authors in tow. "Well, this was a fun day," Jolt said before they got off the bridge. "I wonder how Dr. Forrester and Frank are doing?" Crow asked as he tapped the red button. Static filled the hexscreen for a few seconds before the scientist image appeared. DEEP 13 "Ah! I see that those... *people* have been sent home," Dr. Forrester said. From behind him, Frank gave a sigh of relief and tapped on the console a few more times. "The back up generators are now at thirty-three percent and rising. At this rate, we should be able to get the main reactor back online in three days," Frank said. "Hmmm..." Dr. Forrester pondered this bit of good news. "Do we still have enough power to send up fanfics?" "Yes we do!" "Excellent! To the archives Frank! We need a fanfic to break their spirits without ripped a hole through time and space." "How about something by Chris Caldwell?" Frank offered. JUST OUTSIDE OF THE SOL Cramped in the small space of the escape pod, the four MSTiers cocked their heads and looked back at the Satellite of love. "Did you hear something?" Shinji asked. "From where," Lefty asked. "The SOL." "How could we? We're in space," Jolt said. As Susano piloted the escape pod through the rift, he turned to Jolt and said, "It's a fanfic. You should really just relax." BLIP!!! FWOOOOOOSSSSSHHHHH!!! \ / \ / \ / 0 / \ / \ / \ ________________________________________________________________________ Send any C & C to Jamie Jeans at: xwing@uniserve.com Send any C & C to Seth C. Triggs at: trigsc41@buffalostate.edu