USA Execs vs. Sailor Moon MSTed by Seth C. Triggs (trigsc41@buffalostate.edu) Hi, folks! It's time for MSTing #9 or 10, if you count the seperated part of Minako: Warrior, Princess, Sidekick?!?! Well, anyway, this is a short, but dumb anti-fic pitting the USA Network against Sailor Moon. So there will not be much of a host segment. On with the show!! [Roll Season 8 Theme] [SoL Bridge] MIKE: Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Satellite of Love. I'm Mike Nelson of Happy Temps, stuck here in space with my robot buddies Crow and Tom. TOM: Yeah, what a day-- [red MADs light flashes] CROW: Already? What could *they* want? MIKE: Let's see. [Intergalactic Pit Stop] PEARL: We're on the run, kiddies, so I'm going to send you an express expiriment...Brain Guy, watch it with that gas nozzle...Well, your little meal today is a short but sweet anti-fic called "USA Execs vs. Sailor Moon". Don't choke!! [SoL] MIKE: Oh, crap. Not again. [lights and klaxon go off] [Dog Bone, 6,5,4,3,2,*] CROW: It's Otaku Wars III...The ISM Strikes Back!! USA Execs v.s. SailorMoon It was on a Friday. MIKE: *What* was on a Friday? TOM: This is gonna be a long one. The Sailor scouts got called to a meeting of the executives at USA network. CROW: Funny, being that they're just cartoon characters. They arrive at the meeting. "Sit down"said the executive The Sailor scouts sat down. MIKE: Wow, they're well-trained. "Whats the buissness chief" asked Sailor Moon. "Ya we got the Negaverse to fight" said Sailor Mars TOM: Sailor Mars is from North Dakota!! CROW: [Mars, northern] Ya, this fic is really dumb, eh? "well to make this story short you have failed to bring in ratings."Said the exec. "We have to cancell the show." "What" yelled Sailor Moon. "No way" said Said Sailor Jupitor. TOM: ...deformed foster sister of Sailor Jupiter. "But we make people happy"Argued Sailor Mercurey. MIKE: [Mercury] People *like* short skirts! "What are you going to put up in our place" asked Sailor Mars "I am going to put up Webster" said the exec. CROW: *Webster*? Like, *five* people watch that show! "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" cried Sailor Moon. "On the behalf of the all the planets in the solar system we punish you" CROW: Even *Uranus*? MIKE: Crow, don't start *that* again. yelled all the scouts. However nothing happned. TOM: USA bombed out in the ratings and was destined to show skin flicks at night for the rest of eternity. "since the show is cancelled we have to sieze your props"said the executive. He then took their props and threw them out in the street with the rest of the garbage, MIKE: So, the execs can just reach into the fourth dimension, grab *animated* objects, and discard them in the real world? CROW: Pretty much. and put Webster in their time slot. The best part is this isn't fiction but fact. TOM: They brought _Webster_ Back? There's no goodness left in the world. USA is taking the show off the air. For all you Moonies out there HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.The End. MIKE: No, *real* maniacal laughter goes like this: BWAH, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! CROW: So...that's it, huh? TOM: Not much to that story. MIKE: Well, at least we didn't see a bunch of teenaged girls get pummeled like last time. CROW: Well, that wasn't so bad, for it was pretty short. TOM: Let's get outta here. [*,2,3,4,5,6,Dog Bone] [The screen is suddenly filled with TOM's dome.] TOM: Bury us with an ANTI-FIC? I don't *think* so!!! Hahahahha!! [IPS] PEARL: Okay, Mr. Fireplug...we'll see who laughs last. I'll just find that last chapter of Minako: Warrior, Princess, Sidekick?!?! for you, huh? [SoL] TOM: [sheepishly] Heh, heh, uh, that won't be necessary. I just run my mouth a little too much, heh, heh...[gulp]. [IPS] PEARL: Say you're sorry to the audience, Hug...I mean, Servo. [SoL] TOM: [Hugo] I...am...sorry. [IPS] PEARL: Now to *me*. [SoL] TOM: [Hugo] I...am...sorry. [IPS] PEARL: Master. [SoL] TOM: Master. [IPS] PEARL: And don't you forget it! OBSERVER: Oh, well done, Madame Pearl. PEARL: Oh, shut up, you pale brown noser. Let's get outta here. [fade to credits] mst3k created by JOEL HODGSON mst3k produced by BEST BRAINS, INC. riffs written by SETH C. TRIGGS original fanfic "written" by BANE Mystery Science Theater 3000 is copyright 1998 Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved. Sailor Moon is copyright to DIC and Naoko T. All trademarked characters used for non-profit entertainment. This anti-fic belongs to Bane. I don't want it. I'm not in this for the money, I'm in it for the kicks. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" cried Sailor Moon. "On the behalf of the all the planets in the solar system we punish you" Keep circulating the fics 5 January 1998