Date: Mon, 25 May 1998 07:50:43 -0700 From: Jamie Jeans To: shinji_70@hotmail.com Subject: DONE!!! Project: A-ko, The College Years, Chapter 4b WRITTEN BY: Greg Thompson and Mike Coughlan MSTIED BY: Jamie Jeans a.k.a. JOLT!!! Which one is this? Ah yes! This is the ninth part of my twenty-eighth fanfic. Thank god, I'm almost done... ALMOST DONE!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!! LEGAL STUFF: All the Anime characters in the following MST belongs to the talented and creative people who made them. Please don't sue me for I am merely borrowing your characters and not making any claim on them. The Club Anipike belongs to Nightbreak, whom I am grateful to for allowing me to use it. Samantha Jones a.k.a. Silhouette, belongs to me, Jamie Jeans Now, on to the show! ________________________________________________________________________ REI: You don't have to show off, ya know. SAMANTHA: I can't help it! I'm happy!!! SHAMPOO: Shampoo happy too! SAMANTHA: All those idiot authors are going to beat the crap out of each other! WASHU: Oh, you mean the First Annual Author Avatar Arena Tournament. SAMANTHA: You bet! And I'm going to be there when that Adam Chris Leigh gets the crap kicked out of him... REI: You and all of the Tenchi cast. SHAMPOO: Shampoo can't wait for Pat Lee to get what he deserves. SAMANTHA: Yeah! What the heck kind of a technique is an 'Atomic Fireball' anyhow? WASHU: Well, if you two are done cheering for the violent end of some of the most ego-bloated people in anime fanfics... > Chapter 4b: Confrontation II ALL: > Craig stared at the computer screen. SAMANTHA: His eyes drying up and shriveling before the massive amount of radiation... WASHU: Off to an early start, I see. >_I don't get it!_ WASHU: Must be using Windows 95. >he thought. REI: He thought? That's a new one on me! >_What the hell >is this new password?_ SHAMPOO: Too many secrets. WASHU: Now how many people are going to get that? >Myles walked into the room, it was first break for classes. Myles >looked over at Craig who was maliciously pounding away at the keyboard to his >computer. REI: The plastic flying into the air... SAMANTHA: Maybe you shouldn't be hitting it so hard, laddie? > "Any luck?" Myles asked. Myles was sure that his friend could get into the >school's >registration database, he'd done it before. > "None!" Craig replied, running his fingers through his long brown hair. SAMANTHA: And screaming in horror as it came out in large clumps. >"It's like >someone found out about me and has somehow fool-proofed the system." WASHU: Yes, but it is idiot proof? REI: Ohhhh, low blow. > "What is it you have done so far?" Myles asked looking over his friend's shoulder. > "Everything I've had time for. First, I toss all number variations at it, and then >I toss the dictionary at it, with all common variations. I won't be able to get into it >until tonight." > "Well, give it a rest until then." > "Good idea." With that, Craig shut off his computer. REI: And just as he got through! What a shame! >He then turned his attentions >to a project that he had been working on. He walked out of the dormitory and over to >the >Auto Body Shop. REI: No one will be seated during the intense 'walking to the autobody shop' scene! >He knew Gus, the guy who ran it, real well. Gus would let Craig use his >equipment to build new things and upgrade his stereo and computer. SHAMPOO: Shampoo no electronics expert, but upgrade computer and stereo in Autobody shop? WASHU: Try not to think about it. >But today, Craig had >another thing on his mind. A beautiful and intelligent, young woman. A large ship had >fallen from the sky a few weeks back, and Craig managed to salvage all the parts he >possibly could from it. > Today, he was building to win the heart of a certain lavender-haired girl. This >mecha was just about the right height to follow her around and protect her. SAMANTHA: So he's using material and technology from a downed space craft to win the love of B-ko... REI: And you don't think that's romantic? SAMANTHA: Well would you be excited if some guy just walks up and gives you some steroid filled version of R2-D2? REI:... SAMANTHA: I rest my case. >_Who says >only Myles can be obsessive?_ he thought, laughing to himself and scaring Gus...again. WASHU: He tends to have that effect on people. >He was finished and was going to test it out when Myles came into the Shop yelling >something unintelligible. SHAMPOO: Which is perfectly normal for Myles. > * * * REI: Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight... > A-ko was doing her best to avoid C-ko. She did not feel like getting sick today >and was in the mood for something other that "'What is it?' stew". She was able to lose >her by telling her that she had a class during the break. She was lucky that C-ko >believed >her, but remembered that SAMANTHA: Lying was bad? >it was C-ko and that it was relatively easy to convince her of >anything. SHAMPOO: That low blow! WASHU: The story that riffs its own characters. >She sat down outside of the cafeteria and took a deep breath. She had gotten >herself a hamburger, fries and a cola, from the cafeteria. _First meal I've ever been >able to enjoy without C-ko or for that matter anyone hanging around,_ she thought, >smiling. > She took a bite out of her burger and REI: Moo! SAMANTHA: Damn thing is still alive. >relaxed a lot as she looked around at her >surroundings. She began to munch on some fries and started to feel a little down, SAMANTHA: The high was wearing off. >every good looking guy that walked by, had a girl in his arms. A-ko sighed, almost >feeling outright depressed. She had decided not to let it get to her, she was determined >to find a boyfriend this semester, even if it killed her... WASHU: She would search high and low, near and far... >even if Kei was her first love >and her first heartbreak. She shook her head back and forth as if to make the memories >of him disappear. REI: Oh boo! Get it right! He never liked you in the first place! SHAMPOO: Story touch nerve? REI: No! Just the whole thing about Kei being her first love and heart break! He was interested in C-ko all along! They never went out! They weren't boyfriend and girlfriend. SAMANTHA: It's right... in a way... WASHU: Don't worry, Rei. You'll find someone. REI: >It seemed to help, that is until she saw him going into the cafeteria. >A-ko's mouth dropped open. ALL: >_Kei? Here? Nooooooooo!!!!_ Just as she was about to go >after him, she was interrupted by a male voice. She turned around, only to see a guy, >with really thick glasses, standing in the line of fire of a large Godzilla-shaped >mecha with ten or more tentacles. SHAMPOO: What silly Mousse doing here? WASHU: That's just Myles. > The mecha stood three stories tall and had one main head, and a "head" on each >tentacle, however, to her, they looked more like helmets. SAMANTHA: Oh no! They brought *this* back into the story! REI: Calm down! SAMANTHA: I swear... >One of the "heads" opened >fire. A-ko quickly ran over to the guy and shoved him out of the way, knocking him >through a tree. ALL: WASHU: That's gotta hurt. > "LOOK OUT!!" she yelled, SHAMPOO: Good timing, A-ko. >and then was hit by a glowing, translucent purple >beam, knocking her back about a meter. The guy with the glasses that she had shoved >out of the way and into what was now a pile of twigs, REI: Actually, he was still implanted in the tree... >got a good look at the mecha, >and at what was going on, and on that note, Myles bolted. SAMANTHA: MOMMY!!! WASHU: How can he run when he's still implanted in that tree? REI: Continuity? We don't need no stinking continuity! > "A-ko!" B-ko yelled from atop the monstrosity. "Prepare to meet your doom! >This is my "Overfiend"-mecha! He has a nasty and highly >unique habit of pleasuring his victims to death!" SAMANTHA: *BURP* WASHU: Something tells me I had better get a bottle of Pepto Bismo out here. > A-ko ran towards the mecha, hoping to smash it into the ground like she did >with so many other of B-ko's mechas. But before she could get within striking range >of it, the mecha's tentacles grabbed A-ko by the arms and legs, stretching and spreading >her wide. A-ko screamed at the sudden pain. B-ko began to laugh at A-ko's pitifulness. SHAMPOO: The Audience became sickened at such a disgusting mecha. REI: At least it wasn't the *real* Overfiend. SAMANTHA: Hoo boy... >"A-ko, prepare to DIE!!!! HAHAHAHAAA! HAHAHAHAAA!!" > * * * > Myles ran into the Auto Body Shop to where his friend was creating a mecha for >some >blue-haired chick that he had fallen for. WASHU: Using his incredible mental powers in order to gain the information... > "Craig!" Myles yelled. >"Itsagiantfriginmechthatsgonnakillerifwedondosomtinnow!" ALL: > "What is it? Calm down, take a breath, you've been in the crime lab with the >marijania >heist investigation, again, haven't you?" SAMANTHA: Just a typical Friday night for Myles. > "I...I need yer help..." Myles panted. > "Why?" > "A-ko's being attacked by some huge mecha that looks like something out of >'UrotsukiDoji'!!" > "Really? Damn, I feel sorry for her. There's nothing I can do." REI: Real brave man there. > "Is that mecha ye were workin' on finished?" > "Yes, I was about to present it to that lavender-haired fox I ran into at >registration." WASHU: But what about B-ko? SHAMPOO: Kintobor had hair dyed? > "How'd you like to test it out, right now?" > "No!" > "Alright, how much is it worth to ye?" > "It's not for sale! Besides, you can't put a price on a thing like love." > "It's not love, it's a bloody robot! C'mon, lad! Me lass is getting tortured as >we speak! I'll do anything! Anything I tell ye!" Myles cried at the top of his lungs. SAMANTHA: I sense another setup here. > "Anything?" > "Aye!" > "Alright, let's go," Craig turned around and grabbed a portable control unit. He >flipped a switch, turned a knob, and punched in a code. REI: Oh look! A Gameboy! >A loud whinning sound started >and then faded. There were loud thumps as something began to move closer out of the >shadows. REI: An AT-AT? SHAMPOO: A Summoner? SAMANTHA: A Galaxy Police Battle suit? WASHU: Robocop? > "Wha-what the hell is that?" Myles said, taking a step back. > "It's the mecha, Myles, meet Eddie." The mecha stood eight feet tall and all >too closely resembled ED-209 from the old "Robocop" movies. WASHU: The foul stench of plagiarism sickens me. > "Eddie, at your service," the mecha stated in a matter-of-factly robotic tone. > "Let's go!" Myles led the way back to the cafeteria with Craig and his mecha >following close behind. > * * * SAMANTHA: It's a star too many if you ask me. > Myles and Craig arrived at the front of the cafeteria only to see A-ko being >restrained by eight tentacles, two to each limb, but they were still struggling to >hold her. One tentacle had made its way up her skirt, and began to tease the area >between her legs. It was shortly followed by A-ko's scream of passion and pain. SHAMPOO: This getting sick. SAMANTHA: I hate this crap... >B-ko stood atop of the monstrosity with her arms folded across her chest, laughing >loudly. WASHU: > "Aim this thing that the girl on top of the mecha!" Myles ordered, REI: Myles been taking grammar lessons from Dr. Thinker again. >and Craig >began to do what his friend asked and set the mecha's offensive systems on power up >and took aim. Through the mecha's targeting screen, Craig got a good look at the >girl he was taking aim at. Craig stopped. SHAMPOO: But doesn't Craig only have remote with him? WASHU: Hush child, you'll ruin the scene. > "I can't fire at her!" Craig shreiked. > "Why not?" Myles blurted out frantically. > "That's the girl I was going to give Eddie to!" > "B-ko? Yer in love with B-ko?" REI: Thus proving that this *is* self-insertion. > "Huh? You know her?" Craig yelled, pissed that his friend knew who she was >and did not tell him. > "Aye, she's the bloody sheila that 'ad us evicted! She's the lass that's >always trying to hurt me A-ko! SHE'S THE BLOODY BITCH WHO SENT 'SUPER- >DYKE' >AFTER YE!!!" SAMANTHA: Hey!!! Just because a girl has more muscles then you'll ever have in your life, doesn't mean that you have the right to call them a dyke! REI: An *OK* rant. I give it a 6. >Craig felt an inner struggle in himself, but was brought back to >reality by loud shrieks from the red-haired girl entangled in the tentacles. >Fire shot through Craig's eyes, and a rush of blood ran through his veins like >acid. WASHU: For when Craig Vincent gets mad, he undergoes an amazing transformation... SHAMPOO: If he have acid for blood, then he alien? REI: Maybe an alien will burst out of his chest... SAMANTHA: I was actually thinking about how Visine would help with that... WASHU: Been there, done that. SAMANTHA: Aww... >He felt betrayed by his own emotions. _How could I have not known myself?!_ >he thought, cursing himself. "...but I really must go and torture a little nuisance >named A-ko..." she had said, remembering their first encounter. He cursed himself >again, realizing the obvious. REI: He's kinda slow at that. >He turned to Myles, who appeared to be yearning to >do something for the red-haired girl, named A-ko and looked up at B-ko, her >cold-hearted eyes, filled with cold-hearted hatred towards A-ko. And then turned >to the writhing body of A-ko, suspended by now nine tentacles. SHAMPOO: Uh, you guys? You want to help me or not? > "Anything?" Craig muttered so suddenly, startling Myles. > "Nani?" was his only response. > "You'll do anything if I do this?" he asked, frustrated. WASHU: That should be said instead of asked, but who would listen to me? > "YES! YES!! ANYTHING YOU WANT!" Myles shrieked. > "Hai..." Craig looked down at the control panel. A single tear drop fell onto it. >"KAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ALL: SAMANTHA: Oh great, he's powering up. Another Oscar wannabe. REI: Don't *say* that name! >he screamed, slamming his fist through the control panel, almost ripping his larnex >out of his own throat by yelling so. ALL: SHAMPOO: Uh... WASHU: Don't think about it. > B-ko stood atop her mecha, laughing at A-ko's current situation. However, she >did stop when she heard something. Over the laughter, over the shrieks. WASHU: Which had drove the commas away again. >B-ko looked >around and noticed that it was coming from an area where a stout bi-ped mecha was >standing. The yell sounded something like the American word "damage" drawn out, >after an initial "kai". Suddenly, every orifice on the mecha's body opened exposing >some sort of weaponry or another. ALL: EWWW!!! SAMANTHA: I'm not even touching that one. >Bullets rang out through the air, lasers cut >through her mecha almost hitting her and missiles flying all over the place, striking >her mecha. B-ko jumped to avoid the attacks. ALL: Jump! Go ahead and jump... > The tentacles released A-ko so suddenly that she had not realized what the hell >had just happened. She hit the pavement with a loud thump. She heard more laughter, >only this time, it was the sound of two men laughing. REI: What is that sound of two men laughing? >She looked over to see two men, >one of which, A-ko recognized as being the guy she shoved out the line of fire, standing >next to an eight foot tall bi-ped mecha. It's too good looking to be one of B-ko's, she >thought. SHAMPOO: Shampoo hope not much more comes from that thought. SAMANTHA: That makes for a very sickening image. >She realized that they were not laughing at her, but at the fighting mechas. >The one that had saved her stopped firing long enough to reload or recharge or >whatever. WASHU: You know... stuff. >The "Overfiend"-style mecha began to open fire on A-ko again, she had only one >chance. >She picked herself up and ran over to the second mecha, avoiding attacks from B-ko's >mecha, knocking the two men out of the way. SAMANTHA: EXCUUUUUSSSSSEEEEE MEEEEEEE!!!!!!! > "GOMEN! Sorry about this!" she yelled, picking up the shorter mecha and >hurled >it with all her strength at B-ko's mecha. After the two collided, they exploded with >such a force that it threw her back into a wall. The mechas then burst into flames. REI: Okay, we've had the fight, property damage, mechas, and mechas blowing up... this *is* an A-ko fanfic. >A-ko suddenly realized the time and decided to get to her next class. She peeled herself >off the wall and ran off. SAMANTHA: Shouldn't that be *stepped* through the wall? She can go through them pretty good. > _Hopefully, C-ko won't find out about this...or at least not >notice that I look like I've just gone through another World War,_ she thought, as she >ran off towards the Culinary Arts Building. Indented in the wall, behind her was Myles, >smiling gratuitously. REI: And in front of the screen were four people riffing indiscriminately. > Craig walked over to where B-ko lay, in a large puddle of mud. She looked up to >see him. Suddenly, the scene began to fade into a peaceful background full of floating >roses. B-ko's eyes twinkled in the light, she had recognized him immediately and >decided to manipulate him. She stuck her hand up for assistance. WASHU: So asking for help is manipulating a man. SAMANTHA: I sense allot of anger towards women from reading that line. >Immediately, the >scene of pretty roses burst into flames as the original scene of the two twisted, >burning mechas returned. The flames seemed to burn in even Craig's eyes. SHAMPOO: Better get some Visine for that. SAMANTHA: Hey! > "C-could you help me up?" B-ko asked, shyly, almost embarrassed that she was >asking for assisstance from a man...and an American, no less. SAMANTHA: I can't believe this! They're even insulting their own heritage! REI: Certainly shows how proud of it they are. > "You're B-ko Daitokuji." he stated, his voice, cold as her own, she nodded. >"You're the new owner of this college." he added, again his tone cold, his glare >sending shivers into B-ko. "You headed the project to seperate the dorms." he >added further. B-ko felt cold, even near the flames of the fire. She nodded a >third time, unable to speak. WASHU: No one shall be seated during the intense 'nodding' scene! >Craig smiled a cold, devious smile and put his hands >on his hips, revealing that he wore a black casual dress shirt, under his trench >coat. "Good." he replied, from behind his cold-hearted smile. He strectched out >his hand and reached down to help B-ko up out of the mud, but before she could >express her thanks , Criag immediately shoved her face >down back into the mud puddle. B-ko turned around, fire in her eyes. SHAMPOO: So B-ko standing in mud? Or is mudhole standing up? SAMANTHA: Don't think about it. Just smile and nod. > "What the hell was that for, you baka?" she spat, spitting mud out from her >lips. REI: And why am I saying 'idiot' in Japanese even though I'm speaking in English?! > "Just let me say that you deserve to wallow in the mud like the ill-breed, >cold-hearted, bovine debutante that you really are!" Craig said, his voice deep >and almost threatening. SAMANTHA: And he's known her for how long? >His tone as cold or colder than >he had spoken before to her. ALL: SHAMPOO: Could you turn heat up, Washu? > With that, he turned on his heels and marched away. B-ko was shocked. >She had never, *never* been so insulted in all her years. Always the boys would >drool over her, breaking their necks to meet her every desire. REI: Leaving a pile of corpes behind her... >Rage began to >flow through her. "I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!" she screamed, still sitting in the >mud. WASHU: Don't forget the typical maniacal laughter. >Why she had let her stooges go to lunch was beyond her. She thought again, >for a moment, about how cold, insensitive and ruthless he had seemed to her...aside >from their first meeting and the incident in Miss Ayumi's American-English class. >She thought...if it were possible at all... she was in love with another...NO! >She loved C-ko! She was definitely over Kei and now she could devote her entire >time to gaining C-ko from A-ko...but then... REI: But he never loved you! You were as stupid as A-ko was!!! SAMANTHA: Calmness, calmness... REI: I feel a head ache coming on. > * * * > Craig peeled his friend off of the wall of the cafeteria, grinning from ear >to ear. Myles regained his consciousness and began to bleed from the nose at the >thought of what had gotten himself into this predicament in the first place, A-ko >noticed him...and even touched him! He noticed that Craig was giving him a >lopsided smile. _He's full of himself fer somethin',_ Myles thought. SHAMPOO: So full eyes are brown... >Craig looked >at his watch. > "Shit!" he yelled. "We're going to be late! C'mon!" Myles and Craig ran off >to their next classes. Within the next few moments, Gravition's Fire Department >arrived to extinguish the flames before they spread to the campus itself and were >successful, after all, this was not the first time they had ever had to put out a >mecha fire...not by a longshot. WASHU: Although this was the first time they were ever mentioned. > * * * > With all of her classes finally over, A-ko stumbled into her dorm room and >flopped herself onto her bed. _First day of college and I already feel like I'm >gonna die,_ she thought. WASHU: Wait till you get to the finals! > "College is so different from high school," she muttered. > "Yeah, it's much more fun!" C-ko blurted. She was sitting on her bed and >staring out of the window. > "I don't think I like your definition of fun, C-ko," A-ko groaned. REI: Whatever you do, don't ask for a more detailed description. >After >an hour and a half of listening to Miss Ayumi's lecture on what seemed to be English, >and then a class on General Home Ec, followed up with a class of Understanding >Pancakes, >then to top it off, another fight with one of B-ko's stupid mechas, good thing >reinforcements came when they did or else, she'd have lost her virginity the worst >possible way that she could ever imagine, and now she was just plain bored, sick, >tired and depressed. ALL: SAMANTHA: My god! That was the largest run on sentence I have ever seen! SHAMPOO: Shampoo dizzy. WASHU: Just close your eyes for a few seconds and it'll go away. REI: Around and round and round and round... >_God, I hope next semester will be better._ > "What's the matter, A-ko?" C-ko asked. "Would you like me to give you another >massage?" A-ko thought for a moment. C-ko did give excellent massages, and she felt >she could use one, but she also thought that C-ko was acting a little...*funny*...nah, >C-ko's not bright enough for that. SAMANTHA: Thus proving just how dunce A-ko really is. SHAMPOO: She still no idea how C-ko feels about her? SAMANTHA: Only at the end of the second part of this fanfic does she even *suspect* about C-ko's true desires. > "Sure, C-ko that'd be great." C-ko jumped off her bed with joy and ran over to >A-ko's bed. She jumped on it behind her and then began to apply pressure to her >shoulders. WASHU: *CRACK* AHH!!! >A-ko moaned at how nice this was, and then slowly began to drift off to sleep. >Realizing >that A-ko had fallen asleep, C-ko got annoyed. She then leaned A-ko back, and laid her >on her bed. C-ko got off of it and began to walk away when an idea had struck her. REI: *BONG* OWW!!! SHAMPOO: Nuts! Missed that one. WASHU: I shudder to think about the *idea* she came up with. >A wicked smile cracked across C-ko's face. She walked back over to A-ko's bed and >slowly began to unbutton her blouse, revealing A-ko's bra, that was filled to capacity. SAMANTHA: They're gonna blow!!! EVERYONE ELSE: Huh? SAMANTHA: Sorry... >C-ko reached under A-ko and unlatched the bra, which C-ko quickly removed. > A-ko felt a chill and quickly snapped awake. Looking at her now topless body, >she >quickly covered herself, and then realized that it was C-ko's doing. > "C-KO!!" she cried. SHAMPOO: A-ko then realized C-ko was lesbian. Right? > "What?" C-ko asked, looking at A-ko with her innocent green eyes. "I was only >putting you to bed." > "Thanks, but I can do it myself, besides, it's still early. Let's go do something." > "OKAY!" C-ko cried, running for the door. SHAMPOO: WASHU: Not in a million years, Shampoo... > * * * > Craig sat himself back down at his computer and booted it up. He then turned >on his stereo. Craig pressed play on his CD player and ZZ Top began to sing "La >Grange". REI: This story just screams real-time. SAMANTHA: They must have paid A-ko and crew allot in overtime. >Craig turned to his cooler and removed a bottle of Peach Schnapps, opened it and took a >quick swig. He burped his satisfaction of the drink. He turned up his stereo all the >way so that his speakers began to float off the floor. He then brought up the necessary >hacking utilities and began his work. He was ready to delve himself into his work, and >drown his sorrows in booze...even though he still felt pretty good about what he had >done. SAMANTHA: Ah yes! Nothing sharpens the mind like good, tasty, booze! WASHU: Brought to you by the Booze Council. REI: Drink more of it! > Kei was trying to read a book when Craig started his work. He asked that he >turn it down but there was no response. SHAMPOO: Hang on! Wasn't Kei in jail? REI: Hush dear, don't try to make any sense of it. >He then put a yen in his book to mark where >he had left off and got up. Myles was sitting by the window with his binoculars when >he noticed Kei get up and walk over to Craig. Myles jumped up to stop him. > "What in the bloody hell do ye t'ink yer dooin'?" Myles exclaimed, grabbing Kei >by the arm. WASHU: Dinna ye what's happening? The Worp Core is about ta explode!!! EVERYONE ELSE: WASHU: Thanks. > "I'm trying to read. I-I was going t-to ask him to turn down his stereo." > "Nay, lad. That's the worst possible thing ye could do when he's like this. >When he's at his computer and there's no booze or loud music, it's okay to talk to him. >With one of the other two, yer taking yer chances. But all three...don't ye even think >about it, and even after a fight to-boot...ferget it, just let 'im ride it oot!" REI: Drinking and listening to loud music while working on a computer... uh... SHAMPOO: Now you try tell me not to make sense of story? Silly Senshi. > Kei decided to take his roommate's advise for now. He sat back down and tried >to read, but found it nearly impossible with the loud music. Kei had had enough. >He had been pushed around ever since these two had moved in and this was where he >was going to draw the line. He stood up and walked over to Craig. Myles just >shook his head. > "Don't say I didn't warn ye," he muttered. SAMANTHA: At this point, I can only say this: Let the author bloat his ego some more. > "Craig, could you please turn down your stereo," Kei said, confident that >Craig was a reasonable guy, ALL: >. But Craig was either ignoring him >or didn't hear him. SHAMPOO: Or both. >Kei reached down and turned the volume knob down. Myles >immediately ran for the door, down the hall, and out of the dormitory, wanting >to get as far away as possible. REI: From this fanfic? I don't blame you. >Craig just stopped what he was doing when the >music shut off and Myles went flying out the door. He sat there. Kei was still >standing there, he had something to say and he was going to say it. WASHU: But he forgot who was writing this and immediately got trampled for his efforts at diplomacy. > "Craig, I--" he started but was interrupted by a loud growling. He realized >that it was Craig. Craig whipped around and stood up, drawing himself up to his >full height of six feet and looked Kei in the eyes. SAMANTHA: As opposed to looking at his knees. >Kei realized that it was either >him, or Craig's eyes had actually turned color to a deep glowing crimson. EVERYONE ELSE: SAMANTHA: What? REI: Well, your eyes *do* turn red whenever you're *extremely* angry. WASHU: Any relation to Craig? SAMANTHA: Absolutely not! > "You have violated my stereo SHAMPOO: Oh! Just like story lack of a better fanfic! >, and for that you >must pay," Craig said deeply. REI: Luke, *I* am your father. >His voice struck a chord with Kei, and he began to >back away from him in fear. Craig seemed to become even more intimidating, scaring >Kei further as he slowly walked over to where Kei was now cowering. WASHU: How intimidating is this guy supposed to be? SAMANTHA: Not very if you ask me. > * * * > Myles had made it to the other side of the campus in less than four seconds. >He began to worry about Kei, until he saw the object of his obessions walk past him >and heading toward the cafeteria. SAMANTHA: Not going to say it. Wayyy too easy. >He followed close behind. There was a sudden >blood-curdling scream, a loud crash and then the return of loud music, this time >ZZ Top was singing "TV Dinners". _How ironic,_ Myles thought as he began to enter >the cafeteria. REI: No, irony would be something like the authors of this story being good, but still writing this so horribly. > "What the hell was that all about?" A-ko asked, C-ko shrugged in response. SHAMPOO: Accidentally shaking loose head. > "A-ko, let's go get our food and bring it back to the room," C-ko said. > "Sure, but why?" A-ko asked. _Och, what a beautiful voice the lass has!_ >Myles thought, listening in on A-ko's conversation. _Myles, ye devil. Ye 'ave >gotta get this one that's fer sher!_ WASHU: You mean there was other people that he had become obsessive over? SAMANTHA: You sound surprised. WASHU: Well I'm not. > "I just wanna eat in private tonight, that's all," she replied. > "Okay, no problem" > * * * SAMANTHA: And cue the lemon scene! > Craig took a break from his computer and was switching CD's when Myles >walked in. ALL: AH!!! REI: That lemon scene had better not happen. >Myles looked around the room for a bit and saw a large Kei-shaped >hole in the wall next to the window. However, Myles noticed, that Kei-shaped >hole in the wall looked to be a little less than comfortable pose to be in. ALL: SHAMPOO: Author trying to explain how painful position was? WASHU: I... I think so. SAMANTHA: Oh, my head. REI: And I'm right behind you. >The CD player started back up and this time it was Priss and the Replicants >singing "Kon'ya wa Huricane". Craig took another swig from his Schnapps and stared >at the monitor. Craig got the idea to switch languages on the password. And within >three language changes, (from Japanese to French to German to American) he had >finally >gotten the password. WASHU: Are you saying that within a space of about ten minutes, Craig was able to crack the code?! SAMANTHA: Yeah. WASHU: But what about all the different possible codes in each language?! There could be millions upon millions of them!!! SHAMPOO: No think, just smile and nod. > "YATTA!!!" Craig cried, jumping out of his chair. He reached down and turned >his stereo down. > "What is it?" Myles asked, half expecting what the answer was. REI: It's Japanese for 'Right on', but that's not important right now. > "We're in!" > "Great! I knew ye could do it! What was the problem?" > "I had to switch languages on it, the password was in English." > "What was it?" > "'Vexation'...I dunno..." SHAMPOO: He not remember password? WASHU: Oh, we're dealing with a real genius here. > "Och, that's all well an' good, now let's get me into that Phys. Ed. class." > "Hai!" Craig began to click on icons, opening files and finally reached what >his goal was, realizing that something was strange about this Physical Education class. >"Wait, just a fucking minute here! This is Girl's Track 101!" EVERYONE EXCEPT SAMANTHA: HUH?!?! SAMANTHA: It gets worst, believe me. > "Aye, that I know, now put my name on the list." > "Is there something you're not telling me? Your not going to dump cold water on >yourself and turn into a girl are you?" Craig asked, grinning. SHAMPOO: Shampoo wish Ramna show up and knock those two down a peg. > "SHUT UP! A-ko's in that class and I want to be in the same classes that the >lass is taking." > Craig shook his head, stiffling a giggle and did what his friend requested. >He then grabbed a small bottle of Jack Daniels' and handed it to Myles. Picking >up his bottle of Schnapps, he tapped the bottle Myles had in his hand with it. > "To us," Craig smirked. "This is gonna be a helluva semester." > "Aye," Myles agreed, downing the bottle of whiskey. REI: And one bad fanfic. > "Put the word out...Warewolf is back in business!" WASHU: That's 'werewolf' you dipstick! > Craig and Myles gulped down more of their liquor and began to laugh and howl >loudly. SAMANTHA: Oh no! They're turning into werewolves! REI: Quick! Who has some silver bullets? >Craig looked at his watch and realized that it was still early in the >evening, the sun was only starting to set. He wanted to do something now. An >idea cracked across his mind. With a grin he turned to his friend. REI: Seems more like *cracked* his mind. SHAMPOO: Eww! There's blood everywhere! > "We should celebrate," he said. > "Aren't we?" Myles asked. > "You know what I mean." > "No, you wouldn't..." Craig grimaced. "No!" Craig grinned even wider, >Myles began to smile also, but added. "IT'S TOO BLOODY EARLY IN THE >SEMESTER >FER IT!!!!" WASHU: What's too early in the semester for? > "Since when has that ever stopped us?" > "..." Myles sat thinking for a moment. "I'll get the others and we'll >prepare immediately." > "Good, let's meet back here with the others in five minutes." > * * * WASHU: What, exactly, are they up to? REI: I shudder to think of it. > Five minutes had passed. Craig and Myles stood before a group of four >fellow classmates. All with grins on their faces. SAMANTHA: The annual meeting of the local militia has now begun! > "Alright, as you know, Warewolf has returned," Craig stated. "And we're >going to celebrate the way we always do when he returns." SHAMPOO: Get drunk and pass out? > "Aye, here's the plan," Myles said. "First, we inform the rest of the dorm. >Second, we meet in fifteen minutes at the first meeting area, there we will wait >for the others. After which, we begin." REI: This *does* sound like a meeting for a militia. > Cheers and howls came from the other four. Myles turned to Craig, still >slightly worried. Craig glanced at Myles, smiled and nodded his approval. >Craig turned to the four classmates standing before him and Myles. Among them was >Kei, who had quickly recovered from his encounter with Craig's rage. WASHU: Oh Kei, how low you've sunk. > "Alright, we split up into packs of two, each taking a floor," Craig said >putting his leather trench coat on. "Each pack shouts out the code words, and >don't worry about the dorm super, I've taken care of him." SAMANTHA: I've... taken care of him. MWAHAHAHAHA!!! > "Okay, ye morons, let's go! Tony yer with me," Myles said to a young >blond-haired American ROTC transfer student." > "Hai!" he responded, he was still learning Japanese, but fortunately for him, >Myles his good friend had Craig invent a universal translator for him. ALL: Of course! > "Kei! Your with me!" Craig said grabbing Kei by the arm. "We'll take the >top floor!" > "We'll take the second," Myles added. "And you two take the first floor!" > "HAI!" were the responces from everyone. > "Sanjo!" Craig cried at the top of his lungs, running out the door followed >by the others. SAMANTHA: Uh, guys? If you're going out at night in a quiet manner, then you might want to keep from shouting all the time. > * * * > After fifteen minutes of shouting and running, Kei, Myles, Tony, Craig and >the other two students, met by the water fountain outside of the cafeteria, >panting and fighting over the water. Within a few short moments, they were quickly >joined by fifty other hentai. All with the indentical grins on their faces. SHAMPOO: How come Happosai not there? >Myles >smiled and stood up on the fountain. WASHU: AHH!!! *THUMP* > "Friends, loyals, classmates, lend me yer ears!" he said. "'Tis a great day, >this day that we are all gathered here for the ritual celebration of the new semester >and with that the announcment of the return of Warewolf!" The crowd of fifty male >students began to cheer. "And in closing all I have to say is..." ALL: I stink! > * * * > C-ko sat looking out her dorm window when she saw a large group of boys >heading >in their direction. A-ko came out of the shower wearing only a towel and drying her >hair with another one. SAMANTHA: Oh man... > "A-ko! Look at this!" C-ko called out, gesturing for A-ko to have a look. WASHU: It looks like a bunch of hentai dressed up all in black about to go on a panty raid... or not. > "What is it, C-ko? More animals?" she asked, looking out the window only to >see a group of fifty or so boys converging on the girls' dorm. She could not make >out what exactly they were shouting until they had reached the front of the building >and the front doors collapsed. "Yup, more animals," she muttered. ALL: MEN! *Hmpf* > * * * > As the front doors of the girls' dormitory collasped, the entire group of >hentai flooded into the front lobby and began to spread out. REI: So first they're fifty men and now they're a bucket of water. >"PANTY >RAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIDDDD!!!!!!" they all shouted in unison. Many of them began to >ransack >rooms and chase girls, while others began to do the work that they had come for... SHAMPOO: Realizing they were pervert and go home? SAMANTHA: Not likely. > Myles ran from room to room, checking each one thoroughly, trying to find his >goal...A-ko's room. Oh, how he wanted to smell her juices. SAMANTHA: Oh, for crying out loud! What is she to you? A fruit juice? REI: Try our new flavor of pop: A-ko in a can! Smells and taste just like the real redhead. WASHU: That was very sick and immature. SHAMPOO: Yeah... Shampoo wish she had thought of it first. >Myles began to think. REI: Insert riff concerning smoke pouring out of Myles head here. >He thought that what he was doing was wrong and that he was a cad for even thinking >of doing such a thing. Myles quickly got ahold of himself and continued on with his >quest. WASHU: For the Holy Grail! > As Craig dashed down the hallway, he caught glimpse of movement. Fast >movement. >He swung around, only to see a short old man with a large full bag of panties slung >over his shoulder. Craig wheeled back and let the old man pass. > "WHAT A HAUL! WHAT A HAUL!!!" Happosai yelled as he went, hoping >down the hallway. SHAMPOO: Cameo shameless. REI: Just like this fanfic. SAMANTHA: Now how many times have we done *that* joke to death? > Craig made note that he looked like one of the counselors. He shrugged and >continued his quest. WASHU: For the lost Ark! EVERYONE ELSE: > Tony made his way to the top floor and into what appeared to be a lobby outside >of a fancy penthouse. SAMANTHA: Now if you can't see what's coming... SHAMPOO: Bad choice of words. SAMANTHA: D'OH! >He grinned when he noticed a room down the hall was open. He >made a run for the door and inside he went. Tony ran his fingers through his >conservative-cut blond hair, and began to drool. He always wore something >conservative >and was now regretting it due to certain "constraints" that his beige-pleated pants now >gave him. REI: In his dreams. > Tony ran over to the nearest dresser and opened it. "Ooo, cotton briefs," he >muttered, taking the time to smell the rose printed under-shorts. WASHU: A good thing they're washed... I hope. >He then ran over >to another dresser that had plenty of origami flowers scattered on top of it. He >opened the drawer and pulled out the first pair of panties he could get his hands >on...and kept pulling...and continued to pull until it was finally, completely out >of the drawer. He held it up to take a look at it. Even with his arms spread as >wide as he could get them, the panties still dangled loosely in the air. ALL: SAMANTHA: Uh... REI: Hmm... SHAMPOO: Okay... WASHU: How big does the author think Mari is? > "My God!" he muttered. "What on Earth could possibly wear something so... >so... HUGE!!!" Unfortunately for Tony, his answer came with the sound of cracking >knuckles REI: *CRACK* OWW!!! >and a low growl. Tony's blue eyes buldged out of his head to the point of >exploding. He turned slowly, only to see the largest, manliest-looking woman he had >ever had the bad luck of meeting. SAMANTHA: You got that in spades. > Mari stood there grinning, blocking his only chance of escape. She began to >laugh as she slowly took a common offensive stance and slowly started moving her >arms in a slow, rotating motion, her hands balled into fists, with her index and >pinky fingers protruding. Tony began to cower. WASHU: I would too if Mari was about to perform the Hadoken. > "You have the audacity of raiding my personals? For that you will pay!" >With that, Mari sent her fists flying. "YAAA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TAAAAAAAA!!!!!" REI: And now she's a machine gun. >When >the smoke cleared, a semi-conscious and completely naked Tony lay on the floor, >looking straight up at his assailant, fearful for his life. SAMANTHA: You raid, you paid. EVERYONE ELSE: >Mari stood up straight >and pointed to Tony. "That was my 'Sumi-cumlot-jigoku' attack. In exactly three >seconds, you will have the most excruciating orgasm you have ever experienced in >your life...which is now... SHAMPOO: Huh? Attack suppose to give pain, not pleasure. WASHU: Just... SHAMPOO: Shampoo know. This story sicken me. REI: So what say we wash it out with the delightful taste of something strong. SAMANTHA: Lead the way, Senshi! ALL: ________________________________________________________________________ SAMANTHA: Thank god we're almost done this one. WASHU: Just one more part. REI: The next time you get a fanfic to review, Washu? Make sure it's a smaller one. SHAMPOO: Shampoo agree with Senshi. This fanfic too long. WASHU: Well at least we took breaks in-between the chapters. SAMANTHA: Which were far too many for my taste. WASHU: Anyhow, let us finish this so that we can get back to the Anipike and give our review. > Chapter 4c: Oh, Shit... SAMANTHA: Oh look, they're talking about the content of the story. > "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!" The >loud, blood- >curdling scream REI: AHH!!! Someone else is being forced to read this fanfic! >echoed through the entire campus, sending shivers down everyone's spine. ALL: WASHU: Brr! I could have swore that I turned the heat up. >Craig took this as a sign for a tactical withdrawal. He began to run out of the dorm. >"Finish what the hell your doin' and get the hell out, now!!!" he screamed, running >out the door and SHAMPOO: Hitting it straight on. >heading to the next meeting place. > All but two of the students followed the order and Craig out the door. Myles >was still searching for A-ko's room when he heard the call for withdrawal. _No! I >kinnae quit now!_ he thought. _I'm too close! I kin feel it!_ WASHU: I sense extreme sarcasm, Captain. >He went to check >the last room in the hall. This was it, he was sure of it. Myles burst into the >room, when he was grabbed by the shoulder and pulled back out of the room. A >lavender-haired girl threw him up against the wall. > "What the hell do you think you were going to do in C-ko's room?" she demanded, >glaring intensely at Myles. > "I...uh...I..." Myles was scared shitless, almost literally. ALL: EWW!!! >"I was going after >something of a lass named A-ko," he admitted, SAMANTHA: Oh! Of cou... wha? >his face crimson. B-ko released him and >smiled. > "Why didn't you say so?" she asked. "Wait here." B-ko quickly turned around >and >entered the room, she looked around to see that A-ko and C-ko were gone. She walked >over >to A-ko's dresser and grabbed all of her bras, under-shorts, panties, and some skimpy >lingerie that B-ko couldn't help but laugh at. She stepped out of the room and handed >them to Myles. SHAMPOO: B-ko *is* Happosai. > "Here. Now go! And don't let me see you in here again!" she said. Myles quickly >and gladly obliged, running faster than he had ever thought possible. B-ko removed the >gloves she had on and handed them to Ume. "Burn these. After touching A-ko's >underwear, >they're contaiminated." > "Yes, Mistress," Ume replied, placing the gloves in a sterile zip-tight baggy. REI: She said burn them, not seal them up for freshness. > * * * WASHU: Still tree stars? SAMANTHA: Maybe Mike and Greg are rating this themselves. > Myles met the others at the final meeting area...behind the boys' dorm. Everyone >was breathing heavily, not just because of the major adrenaline rush they had just >gotten, >but because for most of them, that was the closest to a woman that they would ever get. SAMANTHA: How true that is. > "Okay, head count!" Craig said standing up. He only counted fifty-four. "Okay, >whose missing? Kei, I see you made it out okay." Kei blushed and nodded, but was >greatly >disappointed that he didn't get to find C-ko's room. Craig looked around, but could not >figure out who it was that was missing. Myles looked around and then realized who it >was. WASHU: John? REI: Scooby? SHAMPOO: R2-D2? SAMANTHA: Now how many people are going to get that first one? > "Tony...TONY'S MISSING!" he cried. > "NANI?" > "Wasn't it him who screamed?" a young man standing next to Myles asked. > "Damn," Myles said, shaking his head in bitter disappointment. > "Well, for the first time in the history of the Warewolf SAMANTHA: That's spelled 'werewolf' you dunce! >Panty Raids, we have had our >first casualty. We will mourn this loss until he is returned to us...NOT!!" SHAMPOO: Who talking? REI: I don't know. > The students all returned to their respective dorms to show off their prize catches >and drink and party. Myles, Craig, and Kei returned to their room and flopped down on >the their beds. WASHU: *THUMP* OWW!!! > "Whew!!" Craig exclaimed, getting out his stash of booze. "Whadda rush!" > "Yeah," Kei agreed catching a can of Guiness Dark. > Myles began to laugh, drinking down the rest of his whiskey as he sifted through >his prizes, until he reached the lingerie. He smiled and held it up for display. "All >of this is A-ko's!" he laughed, as he took a whiff of the crotch. REI: Ugh. I think I'm going to be sick. SAMANTHA: Just be glad the author's did this with the cast of A-ko instead of the senshi. REI: Thanks for *that* wonderfu mental image. > "It's you, man," Craig giggled, "it's you." > "Try it on!" Kei added. With that the three of them began to laugh and Myles >began >to unbutton his shirt. SAMANTHA: He was joking you idiot! >Craig, suddenly realizing that he was going to do it, jumped up >and snatched it from him. > "You've had a little too much, mister!" Myles looked up and him and fell back on >his bed laughing. > "Ye shoold 'ave seen the bloody look on yer face!" Myles laughed, his brogue >thick. WASHU: Because he's irish, you see. >Craig realized that he had just been played for a fool and began to laugh. He then >tossed >the lingerie at his friend's face. > "*Myles no baka!*" he muttered, turning away. ALL: SHAMPOO: Again with Japanese writing even though rest of fanfic English. SAMANTHA: I hear writers do this to make the fanfic more Japanese or something. REI: Naw! The authors are probably just trying to impress us with their knowledge of the language. WASHU: They're not doing a very good job. > * * * > A-ko and C-ko climbed out of the closet that they hid in until the hentai >bastards had left. ALL: WHAT?!!? SHAMPOO: C-ko hiding, Shampoo believe, but A-ko? REI: She would have been itching for a fight with those hentai! I know I would. > "It's safe now, C-ko," she said, wrapping her towel tightly around her. SAMANTHA: So A-ko is wrapping the towel around C-ko? WASHU: ARGH! Not so tight, A-ko! > "I always feel safe with you, A-ko," she responded. > "You sure didn't act that way in the closet the way you were grabbing me," >she commented. C-ko only smiled in response. SHAMPOO: No. Shampoo not say it. SAMANTHA: Smart girl. >A-ko looked over at her dresser and >realized that she had been raided. "AAAUUUUUGH!!!" she shrieked. > "What's the matter, A-ko?" REI: I'm in a crappy... WASHU: It's been done. > "It's gone! All my underwear! Even that lingerie you bought me! Gone! ALL >GONE!!!" > "It's okay, A-ko, we'll just get more this weekend," C-ko replied cheerfully. > "Great, but what the fuck am I gonna do during the week?" > "You could wear mine," C-ko responded, grinning from ear to ear. SAMANTHA: Her head falling off and bouncing onto the floor. SHAMPOO: Someone getting dark. > "Uh, thanks, C-ko, but I think I'll just wear my blue jeans all week." > * * * > B-ko walked back into her penthouse, pleased that she had defiled A-ko once >again, with the help of some asshole with really thick glasses. _What would he >possibly want with A-ko's (of all people) underwear?_ she thought. She found that >she really did not care, she was in a good mood and felt like having a little action. SHAMPOO: She went and entered Martial Arts contest. >However, she was in too good of a mood to torture the girls, that was until Ume broke >her train of thought. > "Um, Mistress?" Ume asked, hesitantly. > "What is it?" B-ko asked, coldly. ALL: REI: If it gets any colder, I'm making a fire, okay? > "Uh, well, I, that is, we thought you might feel like having some fun tonight so..." > "You read my mind, Ume, but continue," B-ko interrupted, wearing a malicious >grin. > "We, uh, have a 'gift' for you." > "A gift? For me?" B-ko replied, sounding very surprised. REI: But it isn't even Cristmas yet! >"Why thank you! Where >is it?" > "This way, Mistress. It's in the Hall of Punishments." ALL: Oh no. SAMANTHA: I had a feeling this was going to happen. SHAMPOO: Can't story not have anything hentai in it? REI: If anything bad happens, I think I'm gonna puke. WASHU: Don't worry girls. My finger is poised and ready to hit the fast forward button. >B-ko smiled. _I wonder >what it is,_ she thought. Ume opened the door for B-ko and she entered the Hall of >Punishments only to see Asa, Ine, and Mari standing in front of something. REI: A new car! ALL: > "Well?" B-ko asked, impatiently. The girls smiled and moved away revealing a >young blond-haired man tied to the wall by leather straps, wearing only a leather >thong, a metal ball-gag and a large red bow on top of his head. The look on his >face was anythong but amused. SAMANTHA: And the look on our faces are anything, but relieved and not disgusted. > "Happy Birthday, Mistress," they said in unison. ALL: Happy birthday to you... > "And this is?" B-ko asked already knowing the answer. > "Your gift, Mistress," Ine replied. > "A boy I caught during the raid," Mari added. > "Excellent job, Mari," B-ko smiled moving past the girls towards her newest >addition > to the Hall of Punishements, inspecting him. SHAMPOO: What is boy? New toy? REI: *BURP* Hoo boy. This is not good. > "His name is Tony Paki---!" Asa started but what quickly slapped across the face. > "I want no names used in here!" B-ko scolded. "Now, unless you girls would like >to >join my new toy here, I suggest you leave." ALL: LEAVE! WASHU: Run while you can! > "Yes, Mistress," the girls replied, backing away slowly then turning to run for the >door shoving one another out of the way. ALL: >Once they were out of the Hall, they closed the >door behind them. > "Tony, huh?" she asked, running her fingernails down his chest. Tony looked up >and >muttered some obscenity behind the ball gag, grinding his teeth into it. His blond >eyebrows >almost pointing straight down and his blue eyes aflame. SAMANTHA: Some Visine will help that. >B-ko smiled at this. "My, my, my... >feisty, are we?" she said, pinching one of his nipples. "We'll have that spirit broken in >no >time...whether you like it or not." REI: Uh, lets not and say we did. WASHU: Not going to happen. > B-ko began to laugh, her laughter echoing throughout the room. She walked over >to where >she had her whips and removed a short leather one. SHAMPOO: Fanfic is beginning to sicken Shampoo... again. REI: I'm not too far behind you. >With a flip of a switch, Tony was turned >around, facing the wall, his back to B-ko. She walked over to him, and rubbed his back >with >the whip, shortly there after, she began to thrash his backside with it. ALL: SAMANTHA: This is *really* bad. >The cracks of the >whip seemed to go on and on, becoming more painful with even the slightest of breezes. >After >what seemed like an eternity, the whipping stopped. > "Oh, dear," B-ko muttered. "I drew blood. Here, let me make it up to you." B-ko >bent >over to where her lash had penetrated his skin, licked the blood off and kissed him on >the cut. REI: Oh man. SAMANTHA: Geez! I never knew B-ko was *this* cruel. WASHU: Talk about having your character written completely wrong. SHAMPOO: Shampoo not feel so good. >Tony felt an immediate stirring in his loins. B-ko flipped the switch again, and now >Tony was >facing her once more. B-ko could see the tears streaming down his face. She smiled to >herself, >her first male slave and he proved to be no more harder to handle than Mari. SAMANTHA: Yeah right! If you didn't have that power bikini suit, then Mari could kick your butt so hard... >_All too easy,_ WASHU: All too easy. >she >thought, grinning. She lifted Tony's face and looked into his eyes, "Oh no, you're not >getting >off that easy, I'm not done yet," she said. REI: Don't take too long on our account. > B-ko walked over to the statue she had in the middle of the room, removed all of >her clothes >and sat down on the concrete phallus that protruded from its center. ALL: AHH!!! REI: <*really* turning green, weakly> Washu... WASHU: Hang on... SHAMPOO: Onto stomach? Not for long... SAMANTHA: I think you had better leave. Me and Washu will finish this. REI: Like heck! SHAMPOO: Shampoo not run from fanfic. Never will. WASHU: Okay, hang on while I fast forward past this part. >She looked over to Tony who was >being tortured because of the leather thong he wore that got extremely tight for him, SAMANTHA: Maybe he shouldn't have worn too small a size then. >and the sheer >torture of no release. B-ko ignored his pleads and sorrowful moans as she collected her >clothing. >She walked over to the door, blew Tony a kiss, shut off the light, left the ro om and >locked the door >behind her. SHAMPOO: No let Tony go? You cruel b****, B-ko. WASHU: Whoa! This must have *really* gotten to you! > Tears began to spring anew from Tony as he sobbed uncontrollably. He was mad >at REI: His agent for booking him in suc a bad fanfic. >himself for succumbing so easily, for getting himself caught in the first place, and for >the fact that he was not to get release from his "confinment". For these reasons alone, >he felt more tortured than when B-ko had whipped him, or when she pleasured herself >in >front of him. WASHU: Yeah, she had cake and pop and never offered him a bite! >In the dark, the concrete phallus glistened with B-ko's love juices. SAMANTHA: B-ko's love juices! Coming to a store near you! EVERYONE ELSE: SAMANTHA! SAMANTHA: What? REI: Don't *do* that! SAMANTHA: Just trying out for next years Best Marta-ism. >Tony >wanted to taste them so bad, he was now thirsty, and was in desperate need of a drink. SAMANTHA: Uh... nothing. >Tony leaned his head into his arm and sobbed again. SHAMPOO: Just like we're about to sob at such hentai being in fanfic. SAMANTHA: It just wouldn't be a Mike and Greg fanfic without it. REI: And this would be a bad thing because... WASHU: Look, we've finished the fanfic so lets go and give our review. EVERYONE ELSE: Okay. ALL: * * * Everyone in the Club Anipike were sat down in their seats and awaiting the final review of the fanfic. Kuno was chatting with Nabiki and waving his bokken to illustrate a point when he accidently hit Cloud from FF7 on the head. The blond man stood up and waved his own sword at the Bokken master, warning him to be more careful. At another table, Goku and Genma were having an eating contest, as many empty baskets of fries on one side of the table as there were full ones on the other side. Misato and Jotarou Joestar sat behind the bar and watched with anticipation of the review. Even though it was a daily event at the club to heckle bad fanfics, Misato never turned down the chance for Washu and her reviewers to give their opinion on fanfics. After all, it meant less big and bad fanfics for them to riff. "So how bad do you think the fanfic was?" Jotarou asked. "Well, considering the nice shade of green that Shampoo and Rei have, I would saypretty bad," Misato replied. "At least we didn't heckle it. I can hold my stomach pretty good against most lemons, but some of our other patrons are pretty sensitive," Jotarou said. "Indeed. Remember that one Sailor Moon lemon?" "Which one? There's god knows how many on the net." "Come to think of it, I can't really remember. What I *do* remember is how bad some of the cast from Blue Seed were tossing their cookies." "I know... Oh, looks like they're ready to go." Up on the raised dias, usually reserved for giving speeches and sparring matches, stood the four women. Washu stepped forward with a mike in her hand and began her review. "Thank you for your patience. I know it's been awhile since we started this fanfic, but it was quite long. Now, for my review..." "The story itself was interesting in that it pertained the cast of Project: A-ko while they attended the next part of their life: College. However, this was ruined with the inclusion of bad grammar, spelling, and the rehashing of gags and jokes from the first show of Project: A-ko." Stepping back, Washu held the mike out to Shampoo as she shakily got to her feet. "Shampoo put up with bad grammar and spelling enough, but it new characters who were really authors in disguise that disgusted Shampoo. Another bad point was that Myles, one of self-inserted authors, was complete rip off of Mousse. He no like you Mousse!" Amidst the small crowd, a "Thank you," was shouted from the martial artist. "Shampoo also no like sex scenes in story, which were useless and stereotypical in every way. Not to mention turning C-ko into lesbian and having A-ko not smart enough to figure it out." As Shampoo sat down, she offered the mike to Rei as the Senshi stood up. "What can I say about this fanfic that hasn't already been said? Well, the whole fanfic seemed to have been written in realtime, seeming to drag on and on and on." At this point the Senshi is beginning to get a bit frazzled. "I also did not like just how dumb A-ko was written in that she seemed like a complete SOB at some parts!" Now Rei really began to get mad, nearly spitting into the mike. "Added to this the way A-ko and B-ko whined about losing Kei as if he were their first boyfriend, and you got one bad fanfic! Not to mention the damn f***ing whipping scene between B-ko and a boy that was caught..." Samantha got up and gently pried the mike from the Senshi's hand and led her back to her seat. After that, she stepped forward and gave her own review. "Well, considering that I survived both Part one *and* two of this horrid little series..." She stopped to wait for the gasp of surprise to stop. "Yes, there *is* a third part, and hopefully it'll be the last. I really can't say anything more on this fanfic. About the only good part was that there were only one or two useless cameo's by people from other anime shows. At least, not as much as there was in... part 2..." Her speech trailed off as the redhead noticed a familair figure with thick glasses sat beside a man wearing a large leather trench coat. Both seemed more then a little ticked off with the review. "YOU!!!" Samantha screamed once she had reconized the two. Dropping the mike, she tapped into her inner soul and launched herself off the dais, over the crowd, and onto the two men. "A-ko, me lass!" Myles shouted as he tried to glomp onto her. The redhead uttered a battle cry as she decked him and fastened her attention on Craig. The man tried to go for his gun, but she stopped him with a well placed kick to the head. All semblance of order seemed to fly out the window as Samantha began to kick the crap out of them. "Oh crap," Misato said. "Well at least it isn't as bad as the time Nav came in and the Scouts spotted him," Jotarou said. "Don't remind me. It took *days* to get those burn and magic scorch marks out of the floor," Misato replied. "Should we do something?" the bartender asked. Misato looked at the spot where the crowd had backed away from Samantha's brawl with the two self-inserted authors and shook her head. "Give her a few more seconds before calling in the Tank police... and get Ryouga to help. He's about her equal in strenght." Washu sighed and shook her head. If anything, she had expected either Shampoo or Rei to whig out if they had spotted either Myles or Craig, not Samantha. "Then again," she thought. "Samantha *did* review part two, so she probably had more agression to work out." Even as she was thinking this, three of the baddest and toughest of the Tank police, alongside Ryouga, had arrived to put an end to the fight. "Next fanfic we review," Washu began spekaing to Rei and Shampoo. "Will be shorter and have *no* self-inserted authors in it." The Senshi and Amazon gave their thanks as they watched the brawl being broken up. ________________________________________________________________________ I'M DONE! AFTER WEEKS OF GOING AT THIS THIN, I'M DONE!!! YAAAHOOO!!! Send any C & C to: xwing@uniserve.com