Date: Mon, 18 May 1998 22:26:52 -0700 From: Jamie Jeans Save Address Block Sender To: shinji_70@hotmail.com Subject: Some new stuff... Project: A-ko, The College Years. Chapter 2c WRITTEN BY: Greg Thompson and Mike Coughlain MSTIED BY: Jamie Jeans a.k.a. JOLT!!! Once more I step into this hellish crap. I hope I have the strength to see this through. This is the fifth part of my twenty-eight MST. LEGAL STUFF: All the Anime characters in the following MST belongs to the talented and creative people who made them. Please don't sue me for I am merely borrowing your characters and not making any claim on them. The Club Anipike belongs to Nightbreak, whom I am grateful to for allowing me to use it. Samantha Jones a.k.a. Silhouette, belongs to me, Jamie Jeans Now, on to the story!!! ________________________________________________________________________ "Where is she? She should have been here by now?" Washu asked, looking about the crowded interior of the Club Anipike. "No worry, Washu. Samantha be here," came Shampoo's reply. The two were sitting at the bar, slowly sipping their drinks and awaiting the return of Samantha Jones. The young woman had been a wreck after reviewing the second part of the first chapter and had broken down into sobs. All three had gone to the Anipike to get a drink and relax for a bit, but soon after Samantha got a call to a fanfic from her author, Jamie Jeans. With only the promise that she would be back, the redhead left, leaving Shampoo and Washu to wonder exactly what *kind* of fanfic she was going to stare in. That had been two days ago. Shampoo looked over the Clubs many patrons, various Anime stars, and wondered if they were going to have to ask one of them to help riff the next part of the A-ko fanfic. Over in one corner, the Amazon could see B-ko talking with the blonde scientist from Neon Genesis Evangelion. The two were talking excitedly, yet quietly, over a few designs of mechas and pointing at various parts of the designs as they talked. Goku and Vegita were discussing art over on the far side of the club while several other Anime characters stood and watched. The objects of the two powerful Saiyans attention were several pictures drawn by Micheal Surbrook and David Gonterman. Goku said something and pointed at the second drawing of Shion. Vegita nodded and then pointed at the strip featuring Sailor Moon. However, whatever they were saying was drowned out by the voices of the other customers. Turning her attention to the far right, the Amazon saw Adam Chris Leigh and General Peterson, two self inserted characters, talking about how to make their roles more important. Two tables away, both the Sailor Senshi and their North American dubbed counterparts sneered at the General, complaining about the last time they had been in a fanfic. Seeing Rei sipping a small drink, Shampoo set hers down and stood. "Shampoo ask Rei if she want to riff silly fanfic. We waited long enough for Samantha." "Good idea. That girl can sure get the sarcasm flowing when she wants to," said Washu, finishing her drink. The door to the Anipike was suddenly pushed in. Everyone turned to stare at the newcomer and then did a double take. Situated in the door frame, and leaning heavily on it, was Samantha, fully decked out in her suit. However, what made the various characters do a double take was the condition in which the vigilante was in. First, her suit was torn in several places and wounds, which looked to have been made by large claws, and were bleeding freely. She was breathing heavily from the effort of standing up and she held her left arm close to her body. A good chuck of the suit on that arm looked to have been ripped off and what looked like a long, pink, tongue stuck through it. Her mask was off, revealing a face heavy with exhaustion and pain. On top of all this, the redhead was soaked in a disgusting yellow and red slime. Samantha looked at everyone in the club. "I'm fine," she croaked out before falling face first to the floor. Moving quickly, Misato called out to Sasami to get the emergency kit and jumped over the bar. This had not been the first time Anime characters had come in to her club in such a state and, as long as people wrote anti-fics, they would continue to do so. She remembered all the times when Nav had wounded the Sailor Scouts and the medical team had to patch them up again. Several of the Anime characters had gathered around Samantha and were, even now, helping her out. Samantha was wincing as Goku removed the tongue like appendage from her arm and wrapped the wound with a piece of his gi. Misato crouched down beside her, looking over the wounds. "Ouch. Ouch. Ouch!" "You okay Samantha?" Misato asked, reaching behind her to grab the medkit from Sasami and opened it up. Sasami, being the resident nurse, got on the other side of Samantha and gently pushed Goku away. Taking the bandages, cleaning alcohol, and medical tape from Misato, she began to administer care to the vigilante. "Oh, I'm just fine. Nothing like going a few rounds with dozens of zombies, lickers, and T-virus produced monsters to make my day," the redhead replied. "Someone put you in a Resident Evil fanfic?" "Not just someone, but Jamie. And it was a Resident Evil *2* fanfic. 'It'll be interesting' he says. 'See how you do against such creatures' he says. I swear, I ain't getting paid enough for this," Samantha grumbled. Washu and Shampoo gently pushed their way to Samantha's side. They took stock of her condition and knew that she was in no shape to riff a fanfic. "We'll riff the fanfic without you," Washu said. "Oh, I'll be fine. Just prop me up enough so that I can see the fanfic and watch me riff away! Ouch!" "I'll help," Rei said, coming to stand beside Washu. "Thank you," Shampoo said. "Come on. We had better get going. We'll be back in a little while to check up on you," Washu said. "See you then," Samantha said. * * * REI: I certainly hope Samantha gets better. SHAMPOO: Samantha get better, wait and see. > Chapter 2c: Later, that night. WASHU: Ryoko was once again trying to sneak into Tenchi's room... > Around midnight, B-ko sat in her leather armchair watching her television. Asa, >Ume, Ine and Mari walked into the room. REI: Reporting for duty, sir! > "Umm, Mistress B-ko, ma'am?" Ume stuttered. > "Yes, what is it," she asked shutting off the television as Jay Leno had finished >giving his opening monologue. _American humor is so...interesting,_ B-ko thought, >giggling to herself, then quickly stopping, remembering that her stooges were in >the room. SHAMPOO: Must retain dignity in front of subjects. > "We have some very good news for you," she continued. "C-ko and A-ko have >arrived, they came here at about ten o'clock this morning, and were assigned to >room twelve." > "What? They're in the same room? TOGETHER?" B-ko demanded. REI: Demanded? That looks more like she was asking. WASHU: English class? I failed it. > "Hai!" Ume answered. "The Dean had originally intended to have them in >seperate >rooms, but C-ko demanded that she be with A-ko." SHAMPOO: No remind us. > "NANI?" B-ko shrieked. "Why on earth would she want to be in the same living >quarters with that...that...COW!!" ALL: OWW!!! WASHU: Does everyone in this fanfic have to shout? REI: Remember all that throat lousengers B-ko had to eat to soothe her throat? SHAMPOO: Went through whole pack in one day. > "I don't know, mistress," Ume answered, slowly, hoping that it would not bring >B-ko's wrath upon her. REI: Wrath? What, is B-ko Marrisa Picard all of a sudden? > "You're dismissed for the night," B-ko said, waving her hand at them. WASHU: Shoo! Go away you nasty thing. >_I must >think of something, I was counting on C-ko and A-ko being in seperate rooms, so that >it would make so much easier to kill A-ko...Why, C-ko? Why?_ SHAMPOO: It called plot device. Look it up. > * * * REI: I haven't read much of this fanfic, but I would hardly give it *that* many stars. > "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (Choke-hack-choke)...ha...damn..." WASHU: I see the Joker has been taking up smoking again. > "Shut the hell up!" Craig said, throwing an empty beer can at Myles. SHAMPOO: Accidentally hitting huge, muscled, ex-con named Bubba on head. REI: Oops. >"And when >the hell did you start smoking?" WASHU: Ever since I got into this fanfic. > "I dunno," Myles laughed. REI: I knew that nicotine affected the lungs, but the mind...? >In a corner booth of the local tavern, named The >Purple Pussy. REI: If Shampoo ever owned a strip joint. SHAMPOO: Grrr... REI: Oww! Sorry! SHAMPOO: No more dirty jokes. >Craig, Myles and Kei sat having a few cheap drinks, sharing old times >and cheap laughs. WASHU: And cheap fanfics. REI: Remember when I made myself omnipotent and kicked your butt? SHAMPOO: Oh yes... most fun. Revenge be mine soon. >They were making comments about some of the women as they passed >by, and some of the homely-looking ones sitting at the bar, but mostly making >comments >at the people who where singing karaoke on the stage. REI: I would like to see these idiots try! > "Kei, my friend," Craig started. "I must admit that you are a helluva lot more >fun to hang with after you've had a few drinks in ya." SHAMPOO: How true. Should see Ranma after one beer. > "Yeah?" Kei asked, drunkenly, giving him a lopsided smile. WASHU: Brain to Skull, I am vacating quarters. > "I concur," Myles added, drinking down some local whiskey that made his nostils >flare when he downed a shot. "You're too timid otherwise." > "Yeah, well, it's a living," he laughed. Craig and Myles laughed as well, not >completely getting the joke. ALL: Neither do we!!! > "Saaay! There's the catch of the day." He said pointed to an olive-green >haired woman, who could have been mistaken for a man, that was being dragged off >the stage by one of the bouncers. REI: That can't be... SHAMPOO: Sure looks like it... WASHU: She must have been *really* desperate in order to star in this fanfic. >Insulted, she brushed herself off and walked >over to the bar and ordered a drink, which the barkeep relunctantly gave her. > "I SMELL FISH!!" Myles yelled, sending the corner booth into laughter again. WASHU: I don't get it... REI: I would like to get this fanfic to a fireplace... > A drunk man got up on the stage next, placed a yen in the machine and made >his song selection. Craig recognized the tune within a few short notes, it was a >song done back in the 1970's by a group called 'The Kinks'. ALL: Who? SHAMPOO: This part getting confusing. Need Aspirin. WASHU: It's almost as if the fanfic was tailored after the author's likes and dislikes. REI: And which self-insertion story isn't? > "This outta be good," Craig giggled. The man began to sing the song in >English, which was how the song was intended, but his drunken, Japanese accent >didn't help him sing it very well. REI: Nor did this story help *us* any little bit. >The man came to the chorus line of the song >and blurted it out: "Roe-ra...air-oh-air-a...Roe-raaaa!!" At this Craig and >Myles laughed until Myles fell on the floor out of the booth. WASHU: He had better be careful or else he's gonna rattle what little brain he has left free. >Craig grabbed his >friend ALL: Eww!!! >and helped him back in his seat. ALL: Whew! >After the man was done, REI: The fanfic ended... right? >the man got off >the stage, SHAMPOO: Ahh!!! *THUMP* >much to most of the patons' joy, and continued to drink. > "I dunnooo," Kei slurred, WASHU: I just haven't been the same since Yuri left. >blinking, staring, trying to get a clearer look >at the woman who had been dragged off the stage earlier. Instantly, in Kei's >mind, the woman at the bar was replaced with an image of C-ko. "Sheee...kkooooo..." REI: No offense to C-ko or anything, but what the heck does that guy see in her? SHAMPOO: Same thing B-ko does. REI: And that is? SHAMPOO: > "Huh?" Craig and Myles said in unison. Kei stood up as best as he could, SHAMPOO: Ah!!! *THUMP* >stumbled over to the bar, and sat down next to the woman. > "Huullooooo," Kei stammered. He leaned forward and kissed the woman on >the lips. WASHU: I sense a slap coming, Captain. > "Whoa!" Craig exclaimed. "This oughtta be good for a few laughs." The >olive-green-haired woman stood up, revealing that she wore some sort of military >-style uniform, smacked Kei across the face, and began to yell something unintelligible >about how Kei was a stupid human who could not hold his liquor. REI: If it was said in a foreign language, then how come... SHAMPOO: No go there. That way lies madness. >She then demanded >to the barkeep that he be thrown out of the establishment at once, for the sake of >her honor. The barkeep would not comply. WASHU: That certainly isn't Jotaru up there. > "D! Get in here!" she screamed into what looked like a large cellular phone. SHAMPOO: Well, was it or not? >Suddenly, were the front door to the bar once was, stood what may have been a man >wearing an Armani suit, REI: That was when D realized he looked good in Armani. WASHU: Pretty *darn* good. >with a smoking plasma cannon in hand. The door was >plastered on the other side of the bar pinning down two innocent consumers behind it. >"D" as the woman had called it, walked over to Kei, who sat there on the bar stool >staring up at the monstrosity. D growled at Kei. SHAMPOO: Down boy! Or no puppy chow tonight! > "Is this the one, Captain?" D asked the woman in the uniform. > "Hai! Dispense that trash, now!" the "Captain" ordered. Craig and Myles >looked at each other and wondered what they should do. REI: Should we help him? WASHU: Naw! In this story, he's the comic relief, remember? >They looked at Kei, then >at D, and then at the waitress who stood next to the booth, and then ordered >another round. SHAMPOO: No want them as friends! > D picked up Kei, and flung him like a stone through the front window, the >glass shattered and fell to the ground around Kei. WASHU: So Kei was floating? >D ran outside after him, >after which, all that was heard were loud smacks, thuds, crashes, bangs, >screams and cracks...then, a deafening silence, all of the patrons stared out at >the front of the bar. Somewhere, a dog barked... REI: References don't get much more obscure then that? > "Uh, Captain?" D said, poking her head into the bar. "I think we should >leave now." > "Why, D?" What happened to your new plaything?" she asked. SHAMPOO: And again we have dominatrix element coming into play. > "I t'ink I broke it, cause he don't move no more..." > The Captain's eyes grew huge behind her narrow sunglasses and she quickly >rushed out of the building frantically after D as they disappeared down the street. >Craig and Myles looked at each other with mild concern, but soon ordered yet another >round. WASHU: Shouldn't they, you know, go out and help him or something? SHAMPOO: Those two do something humanitarian? Perish the thought. >Kei stumbled back into the bar, his clothes torn to rags, his right eye >blackened, his hair mussed and dirty, his nose bleeding along with a nasty gash >on his left arm. He looked over at Craig and Myles, and smiled. He then staggered >over to the corner booth, sat down and asked for help from the two of them. Within >minutes, the door was back on the hinges, the window boarded up and it was business >as usual as if the events in the past ten minutes hadn't happened. REI: That has to be the longest and most useless comic relief I've seen in a fanfic since... since ever! > "Okay...now..." Craig said, getting out a pad of paper and pen. "Let's plan >as far as what we're gonna do about..." WASHU: I guess Dr. Thinker co-wrote this. > "HEY!" Kei yelled, "Are you guys gonna help me out, er what?" SHAMPOO: For ten bucks, yeah. >Craig and Myles > ignored him, continuing their conversation. Kei, angered by this, slammed his fist > down on the table, knocking a bottle over onto the floor which then smashed into a >thousand pieces. REI: 1... 2... 3... WASHU: Bored? > "HEY!" the bouncer said, walking over to the corner booth. "Are you looking >for more trouble?" Kei stood up and glared at the tall, fat and burly looking man. >"I don't like the way yer lookin' at me, boy." With that, Kei took a swing at him. SHAMPOO: Men not smart when they drunk. >The bouncer dodged the swing, picked Kei up and threw him through the now boarded >up >window. The bouncer immediately ran out the door after him and was quickly followed >by loud cracks, thuds, screams and a final crash. WASHU: So a bunch of sounds followed the bouncer outside? REI: Maybe they want out of this fanfic... > The bouncer walked in, wiping his hands together and cracking his knuckles, >smiling. SHAMPOO: *CRACK* Ah!!! >The patrons returned to their drinking, ignoring the commotion. Craig >and Myles decided that now was probably a good time to leave. They got up, paid >their tab and left, only to find Kei, uncomfortably shoved into a trash can. >Craig smiled at Myles as they pulled him out of the can and leaned him up against >the wall. REI: Ah yes. It's always so nice to laugh at another's pain. WASHU: So Craig and Myles are sadistic? > "I dinnae think he was so...flexible," Myles stated, slightly drunk. > "Whoa," Craig said. "You all right, man?" > "Craig, man?" Kei asked. "What the hell happened?" SHAMPOO: You got crap beat out of you. Next! >Craig threw Myles a slide >-long glance, and smiled. > "Uh, dude?" Craig replied, jokingly. "Do I know you?" > "Yeah, we're roommates at the college." > "Like, whoa," Myles said, in a poor American accent. "School's a drag, man, why >on Earth would *we* be going to school?" Myles took a hit off an imaginery joint, and >acted out the part. WASHU: Huh huh. I made a funny. > "Dude, like you'd better go home be--" Craig started but then saw the arrival of >a police car. "MOVE!" he yelled to Myles, they moved so quickly that the officers did >not see them when they flashed on their seach light. Kei was immediately caught in the > glare. One of the officers stepped out of the car and walked over to Kei. REI: Ah-hah! Myles and Craig are wanted by the law!!! SHAMPOO: Myles and Craig *are* the Fugitive. > "You alright, son?" he asked. Kei thought that Craig and Myles were still joking >around with him and took a swing at the officer. WASHU: I sense another senseless beating of Kei coming. >The officer immediately dodged the >strike, whipped out his gun and butted Kei in the head with it, knocking him to the >ground. The other officer stepped out of the car to cheer his partner on as he >pummeled Kei into a bloody pulp. The officer that Kei tried to hit stood up and >wiped the blood off his gun and hands. SHAMPOO: So, in author's world, officers beat crap out of drunk people? WASHU: Maybe it's a subtle political message about police brutality. REI: Subtle? *Gonterman* is subtle compared to these guys. SHAMPOO: Maybe these guys from Tank Police. WASHU: They're brutal, but not *that* brutal. > "Well, if *that* didn't sober him up," the officer standing on the side-lines >said. "Nothing will." REI: Nothing cures being drunk then receiving a severe beating. >The other officer laughed and they began to pull Kei into >the squad car. > "Let's get him down to the station," the other replied. "You know, that felt >pretty good!" > "Yeah, there's nothing like beating up drunken college kids on a warm, summer >evening." The two police men dumped Kei into the back seat and drove off. WASHU: This *is* a subtle political message about police brutality! > * * * REI: Three stars? Hardly... SHAMPOO: Joke been done to death. > "HAHAHAHAAA!!!! (hack-hack-hack)....(choke-puke!!!)" > "I told you not to smoke and drink that cheap whiskey!" Craig called out of >the darkened dorm room. > "Shut the hell up!!!!" Myles screamed, wiping the vomit from his chin. WASHU: And we're done... for now. REI: Great! You know, even though I only caught this one chapter, I can tell it's a bad fanfic. SHAMPOO: Well we have five more parts before offering C & C. Can't believe whole chapter was nothing more then idiots getting drunk! ________________________________________________________________________ Only five more parts to go!!! The sooner I get this done, the better!!! Send any C & C to: xwing@uniserve.com