[Haruka and Michiru come in and sit down in front of the TV. Michiru pushes "play" on the remote and Haruka visibly braces herself.] >Alex and Serena > >Title: Hate & Love Haruka: I hate this story and I'll love when it's over. >Episode: 2 >By: The ImMoRtAl PeNgUiN > >Continuation to Jealousy! Haruka: Joy. > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > I looked after the priestess. I was worried. What would she do to >Serena? Whatever she thinks of doing, she'd better not hurt Serena or I'll-- Haruka: Uh... I'll what? >I put on my over-coat and a scarf. Michiru: Add a wide-brimmed hat, and you'd look like Doctor Who. > I was about to head out the door when I >remembered my love. Michelle. I headed into the kitchen and wrote a note, >than I taped it onto the fridge. then, I ran out into the night, hoping that >I'd get to Serena before Raye did. Haruka [shaking her fist angrily]: What did I do to deserve this braindead clone? > > > Arghhhh! Why doesn't he love me?! I have a *much* more developed >body than she does, Haruka [lasciviously]: She sure does. Michiru: Now you stop that. > I can fuck all the boys' brains out, but he still >chooses little Serena. That damn mother-fucker! Haruka [Jeff Goldblum]: Cruel, but good word usage. > He still chooses that little >damn virgin who thinks it's bad to have sex when you're not of legal age! Michiru: I don't think we should let Hotaru-chan read this. Haruka: Agreed. >I was pounding the wall of a building and so far, the wall was starting to >crack up. Haruka: I'm glad SOMEONE'S laughing. > "Why doesn't he love *me*! Why does he have to love that dumb blonde >bimbo?!" I screamed into the night. Michiru: Rei, darling, the answer is rather self-evident. > Alex's words floated into my mind and I >heard her say, "Pure, pure in every which way..." > I screamed. I was pure! I was good! *Was* being the keyword here. I >used to be pure and good when Darien loved me! Michiru [Rei]: And now I'm as crazy as Minako! > He stood beside me and we did >things together! Why, why, why, why, why?! I hate her so much! I hate her, I >hate her, I hate her! Michiru: I think we established that back in part one. > > > I passed Raye as I jumped from building to building. Haruka [Singing]: Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can. > I hope she doe- >sn't break that wall. It'll give us sailors a bad rep. It'll give Serena a >bad rep. My mind filled with images of Serena as I raced towards her house. Haruka: Raced, get it? Because it's supposed to be me, and I'm a race car driver. Heh heh heh. Kill me. >I was freezing my butt off but I had to get to her. I had to be there to >protect my princess. To protect her from Raye and all others who dare to >hurt her. In the name of Uranus, I'll be there to protect her. Haruka: Well, after all, THAT'S MY JOB! > > > "Mom, it's snowing really heavily outside!" Serena complained. > "Then you should call your brother Sammy in," Mrs. Moon said and >continued watching the T.V. Michiru: Such an attentive mother. > "Awwww, me and my big mouth." Serena walked to the door and, just as >she was about to open it, Sammy popped in and smashed the door in her face. Michiru: And here we have the comic relief. Haruka [flatly]: Ha ha ha. > "Hey mom! Where's Sere---oh. There you are." Sammy motioned for >Serena to come forward. Michiru: I don't think sight gags work in text. > "I have something for you," Sammy whispered. "There's this guy >outside who wants to see you." Sammy looked around nervously. "He says it's >very important." Haruka [Shingo]: He said something about scantily-clad super heroines and seeking revenge, I wasn't really listening. > Serena looked at Sammy, mistrustingly. "Why should I believe you, >you little fungi? [Haruka and Michiru burst out laughing] > You might just wanna lock me out in the cold." > "Because, would I have this if that person was really out there?" >Sammy opened up his jacket and she saw a wad of twenty and ten dollar bills >in his coat pocket. Michiru: Dollar bills? Shouldn't that be yen? Haruka: Just smile and nod. > Serena gasped. It wasn't Darien, she was sure of it. Haruka: Nah, he's too cheap to spring for a bribe. > Sammy hated >Darien for some reasons. Even if Darien gave him a wad of bills, Sammy >wouldn't of did Haruka [hick voice]: Yer grammer sure am gud! > what Darien said. But just to be sure... > "Is it Darien?" Serena asked. > "No! Why the hell would I do anything he said even if he gave me a >wad of bills?" Sammy laughed and ran upstairs. Michiru: I do believe this story has an echo. > Definitely not Darien. Who is it then? Serena opened the door and >walked outside. No one was there. > "Who's there?" Serena asked nervously. The snow fell silently, then, >suddenly, a strong gust of cold wind blew into Serena's yard, and the snow- >man on her lawn grunted and moved. Michiru: Haruka, would you actually stand in the snow until you looked like a snowman? Haruka: No! > "Ser--ahchoo! Serena!" Alex shook the snow off her over-coat. > "Alex!" Serena ran into Alex's arms. They hugged for a long time, >until Alex pulled her away gently. > "It's cold out here, why aren't you wearing anything?" Haruka: WHOA! They didn't mention that! This might not be so bad after all! Michiru [icily]: I'm sure that's not what the author meant. > The tall >blonde asked. "Here, take this." > Alex unzipped her coat and wrapped the two of them in it. Michiru: Not one word. Haruka [innocently]: I didn't say anything. > "Why did you come, Alex?" Serena snuggled close to Alex. Michiru: Haruka, did I ever tell you how people say we're a nice-looking couple? Haruka: Relax. I already told you, this never happened. > "I was worried about you." Alex whispered. She shifted a little so >she was facing Serena. Bending down, she kissed Serena softly on the lips. >Serena kissed back with a passion, Michiru: If this turns into a lemon, I'm leaving. Haruka: You and me both. > then she pulled away, out of the warmth >of Alex's body and coat. Haruka: She shouldn't have done that, being naked and all. > "Did, did I do something wrong, Serena?" Alex looked worriedly at >the little girl. So fragile. > Tears streamed down Serena's face. "I'm sorry, Alex. But this can't >happen. You have Michelle. And I---" A sob wracked Serena's body. Michiru [Usagi]: I'm straight. We can't all be perfect. > "Darien. He's doing this to you and you still love him." Alex shook >her head. "I don't know how you do this." > "I love him, and I love you too, Alex." Serena said softly. "But >Darien...Darien's special in some kind of way. I'm sorry, Alex." > Serena ran into Alex's arms, and the short-haired blonde embraced >Serena gently. They kissed under the giant oak on Serena's yard, Haruka: Which, in a freak accident, fell on the couple, killing them both. The end, let's go. > the moon >watching them, and the snow falling on the two. Haruka: AAH! Princess Kaguya's back! > "I love you, Alex." Michiru: I love you, Haruka. Haruka: I love you, Michiru. Michiru/Haruka: We hate you, fanfic. > Serena parted, and ran into the house, tears streaming down her >frost-bitten cheeks, torn between the two she loved. > > Outside, Alex looked at the closed door. And a tear slid, unnoticed >to the snowy ground. Michiru: Why don't you show your sensitive side more often? Haruka: If I did, this story would have me in tears, by now. > "Serena. I love you too." Now tears ran down her face in a steady >stream. "Torn between two lovers, me and her. So ironic." Michiru [singing]: It's like rai-in on your wedding day! > Alex laughed. Haruka: Hahahahaha! Aren't broken hearts a scream? >Then, she looked up at the giant oak and jumped up to a branch looking into >Serena's room and watched the young princess, sleeping and crying quietly. >Alex sat on the branch, sharing her grief. Haruka: Unfortunately, the branch broke, dropping Alex on her head. She died of cerebral haemorrhaging. The end. Michiru: You really have it in for your double up there. Haruka: It's just that if I have to sit through much more of this I'm going to put my fist through the screen. > "I don't care if you don't love me, just as long as you're safe and >out of harm's way." Alex muttered and wrapped her coat tightly around her- >self. Haruka: As opposed to, what, wrapping it around the tree? > > > While Alex watched Serena, and Serena fell into a restless sleep, a >single rose bud protruded out of the ground where Serena and Alex had kissed. >and the flower waited for it's time to blossom. Michiru: The symbolism in this story is akin to being hit in the head with a brick repeatedly until it leaves a permanent mark. > > I had hurt my hand and got caught by a police officer for damaging >public property. Haruka: Damaging public property?!? *IT'S* *A* *WALL*. She wasn't even transformed! > My grandpa got me out of jail and had put me in bed, tell- >ing me to sleep well. Damn it! Tonight I won't get my revenge, possibly >tommorrow, or the day after tommorrow... Michiru: Or the day after that, or next week, or possibly after the rise of Crystal Tokyo. It's the PRINCIPLE that counts. > I was snuggled up in bed, sneezing my brains out. Stupid snow. I >hate snow! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! Most of all, I hate Serena! I >hate her, I hate, her, I hate her! Haruka: Hey, Rei! Your needle's stuck! > I heard Chad in the other room, trying to >make, 'music'. Oh, make it stop! Make it stop! Make the horrible noise stop! Michiru: As a musician, I have to agree with Rei on this. >Oh the pain! The pain! The horror! The horror! Haruka: Tokyo. I can't believe I'm still in Tokyo. > I hate it, I hate it, I hate >it! Haruka/Michiru: WE KNOW! > > > to be continued... Michiru: Oh, yes, we're all waiting with bated breath. > >Author's note:I always thought Alex and Serena looked >good together. Haruka: I'd look good with anybody. Michiru: You had better not let me catch you looking good with anyone else, though. > And that jerk, Darien shouldn't keep >secrets from Serena and keep bouncing her off and hurting >her like that. Pretty sad here, but this is MY fanfic. Haruka [The ImMoRtAl PeNgUiN]: ...and if you don't like it, bite me. >Oh yeah, one more thing, if you wanna post my fanfic on any >of you people's homepages, Haruka: Not likely. > please e-mail me and do tell >which ones you have and your address. Thanx. > >Joke: There were 3 men who each got a wish. The first wished that he was >25% smarter than he was now. He got his wish.The second wished he was 50% >smarter than he originally was. He got his wish.The third wished he was 1000% >smarter than he originally was. And he turned into a woman. Haruka: It's so true. Michiru: Then why do you always behave in such a masculine fashion? [Haruka rolls her eyes.] > >My friend Jess contributed this joke. Don't know where she got it from. If >you know, please tell me. > > > > >--------------2E0E4F954038-- > > > [The LD spins to a halt. Michiru stands and retrieves the disc. While Michiru's back is turned, Haruka runs out of the room, grabs her jacket, and charges out the door.] Michiru: Haruka! Where are you going? Haruka [o.s.]: Out! [slams door] [Michiru shakes her head and turns to leave the room. Before she is able to take a single step, however, Haruka walks into the room from the other side. Her hair is long and she is wearing a pink dress and a huge smile that looks as though it's etched into her face.] Haruka: Good morning, Michi-chan [giggles]. Michiru [facefault]: NANI? Haruka, didn't you just... and what are you... how did... Haruka: What's wrong [giggles]? Michiru: Well... you're wearing a dress... and your hair... Haruka [the smile gone]: You mean you don't like it? Michiru: Well, it's not what I... Haruka: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! [runs out of the room in tears] Michiru: "Michi-chan"? [Michiru turns to follow Haruka, when another Haruka comes into the room. This one looks completely normal.] Haruka: Morning, sis. Michiru [thickly accented English]: "Sis"? Alright, Haruka, I'm afraid to ask... why are you speaking English? Haruka: "Haruka"? Michelle, why'd you call me that? And what's wrong with your voice? Are you feeling alright? Michiru [back to Japanese]: Alright, Haruka, fun's fun but this is getting really annoying. Haruka [casting a wary eye at Michiru]: Michelle, just wait here and don't move. I'm going to go get the other scouts. [Haruka slowly backs out of the room. As soon as she's out of sight we hear running and a door opening and closing. Michiru puts her hand on her forehead and sits down, when yet another Haruka comes into the room, this one dressed as a Dark Kingdom general.] Haruka: Come on, Michiru, get your uniform. Queen Beryl has summoned us. Michiru [by now thoroughly confused]: Beryl?! What are you talking about? Hotaru [o.s.]: MICHIRU-MAMA, HELP ME! [Michiru jumps up and runs out of the house, losing Haruka in the process. Hotaru is standing next to the wall, near an odd-looking rift out of which innumerable Haruka clones are stepping.] Michiru: Hotaru, what did you do? Hotaru [holding up a key]: I found this out here, and I was going to give it back to Setsuna-san, but as soon as I touched it, this happened. Michiru [taking the key from Hotaru]: SETSUNA! [Setsuna literally appears. Michiru hands the key to her.] Michiru: Setsuna, from now on please keep track of your plot devices. Setsuna: Right. [Setsuna gestures with the key. The hole and the Harukas disappear without a trace.] Michiru: Well, that was a pointless excursion. [All go back inside.] [End of Part Two]