The author of this MiSTing is: "Ya-chan" …the other, female one. E-mail: putti_plush@yahoo.com LJ: http://www.livejournal.com/users/putti_plush/ DISCLAIMER: MST3K & the related characters and ideas are owned and copyrighted by Best Brains Inc. All caracters portrayed in this MiSTing except the Mads are REAL PEOPLE. As of such, they deserve our utmost respect, and this document is not intended to be harmful to them. They are represented here without their direct permission for purposes of entertainment only. The fanfiction "Akuma" is owned by Victoria Kada, and in a startling new turnaround, I have her permission to do this! MiSTing will be taken down by author's request; no offense is intended. CAUTION CAUTION CAUTION This fanfic contains mature content that should only be read by persons eighteen (18) years or older. ~This was a MiSTing written for J-rock fans, as opposed to a MiSTing of a J-rock fanfic for MST3K fans. I've tried to make 90% of my riffs non J-rock dependent though, so as to make this MiSTing accessible.~ ~~Kada’s notes: Why this fic is so bad: First, I had a friend at school edit the first draft. Then I went back home wrote 2 more pages and figured I couldn’t have made that many mistakes and posted it. This was WRONG very wrong. The Japanese is incorrect because I’m the only one at the school whose knowledge surpasses baka. Also, this fic wasn’t left as this putti_plush *hugs* was super nice and did some more editing… and the somewhat decent but still completely random knife fic can be found here http://www.livejournal.com/community/kiritoxkohta/83362.html just in case you like want to screw your brain over some more. Other than that enjoy.~~ Extended disclaimers and info can be found at the end of the document. So now, are we all comfortable? Do we have a sugary food or beverage? Very well then let us continue for the fourth episode of… ~~~SPARKLY!!~~~ Mystery Vocalist Theater Three Thousand ~Where we’ll wish not believe we were. Oh, you’ll know.~ The four men trapped in the Antarctic were in their gigantic hot bathtub having a grand time. On the tiles on the far side lay neatly folded fur and silk clothing, and on the spacious bed beyond there were coiled wires feet away from a simmering pot. The men’s vision was hazy, their muscles completely relaxed, and sweat congealed on their svelte bodies, some more well chiseled than others, some more graceful. Each was forgetting the true reason that they resided there: they were the subjects of a horrible experiment meant to drive them insane with bad fanfiction, usually fanfiction about them. For these four men were Japanese, they were blessed with musical talent, and they had accumulated quite a lot of fame. Hyde, Kirito, Kyo, and Sakura; each had been through the hell of a fic before, experiencing it not just reading it. Life had already gotten better though, and not because they had just gotten to experience the true beauty of their spacious bathroom. One of their former torturers, Miyavi, had broken his entrancement and was now keeping their living quarters at a reasonable temperature and sending down actual prepare-able food. And that wasn’t all… Kirito’s thoughts yet again had drifted back to happier times before his confinement, his brother smiled at him from behind the bass, and Aiji was chattering in his ear. Takeo was reading and Jun was playing a game, all in all everything was thankfully normal. He opened up his own book, settling down where he sat, but a hand drifted over his. "Onii…" The words were so comforting. Kirito turned his head to see what his younger brother needed. An explanation? Something to drink? Perhaps he needed to share something with him. "Onii…" The word came again, more insistent this time, the hand flew to clench his shoulder, and as it repeated again and again, Kirito wondered what was the matter. "Wake wakkinao!" Metal connected with his head and he sputtered awake in the bath, looking to strangle whoever had the most jewelry on. "Onii!!" The word came again from the ceiling, and Kirito’s attention was immediately rerouted. "Oto?" Kirito looked up at the speaker, and it crackled a bit. "I’m patching him in from back home. You’ve got a hakun doozy coming in today, and I thought you could use speaking to him." Miyavi’s voice whined over the airwaves. "I’ll put him back on now." "Shinya-chan!" Kohta’s voice cried joyously into the steam-laden room. Everyone’s eyebrows raised. "Koh-chan, are you okay?" Kirito pushed himself along the edge of the pool-bath to get closer to the speaker. "Have the fangirls gotten to you too?" "No, no, I’m okay. I’m staying with Haha and Chichi, and everyone’s worried about you!" "Damn straight they are. But are you sure you’re fine?" "Well I miss you onii, do I really need to say that?" "I miss you too." Kirito smiled, tearing up a bit unnoticed in the saturated room. "I SWEAR to you Kohta, we’ll be out as soon as possible." "The Special Defense Forces have already been informed of what’s happened, but there’s a legal injunction against saving you guys. I don’t know anything about it, really, I can’t figure out all that legal Jargon. I’m sorry Onii, I should have done more…" "No, no, you’ve done just fine…" "My secondary source of entertainment." Kyo whispered to Sakura. "I’m sorry Kyo, did I hear you say anything??" Shinya growled. "I’m sure you’ll have your turn soon to talk to whoever you want to." Kyo promptly shut up. "So, Ko…" "Onii, I have to tell you this, please don’t hate me, but Miyavi-san says that your next fic is…" "The girls are coming!!" Miyavi’s voice suddenly cut in. "You guys better get ready, I’m sorry Murata-san." "Oh you bet damn well you’re sorry," Kirito grumbled acidly. "I hate to be the voice of reason, but we’d better go." Hyde stood up and climbed out of the bath, heading for the bed and his set of VR wires, his nodes glistening under the artificial light. "Naked again?!" Kyo complained, following him out. "And I’m all pruny." Kirito sighed, sliding out of the water to the side of the pool/tub as a waterfall heralded Sakura’s long hair being wrung out. All four men soon joined each other properly hooked up, sitting on the enormous bed. The shriek from the TV came on followed by the girls, grinning wildly. "So, are you boys ready?" They said in unison. The men growled. "I’m going to do you a service for this fic boys," The goth girl started. "Oh, you NEVER do," Kirito spat. "True. Then you know that this’ll just prove to torture you even more. Erhem." The girl cleared her throat. "The name of this fic is ‘Akuma’ ." "Why is that important?" Kyo asked, but soon his head and the rest reeled into the VR world once again, a title appearing on the blackness… > Title: Amaku Kyo [exasperated]: God Dammit. Kirito [emptily]: …so that’s why… Hyde: Nun District? Flax trouble? A group of pearl divers? Net winding? That curtain? Field-levee membrane? Foot planting? Misspelling raincoat? Kyo: Now is NOT the time for fun with Kanji!! As much fun as it is. Sakura: How do you manage to misspell the title of your fic? Kirito: In your words: elven magic. > Author: Victoria Kada > Pairing/band: KxK, Pierrot [All look at Kirito] Kirito: And so it begins… > Rating: NC-17. Kyo: One more reason to hate it. > Disclaimer: I don’t own anyone here. Believe me if I did I wouldn’t be > wasting my time writing fics about them. Hyde: Why, is that a disclaimer? Why I believe it is! Hello, old buddy old pal! > Archive: Sure tell me where though please > Contact info: victoria_kada@yahoo.com > Live Journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/victoriakada/ ~Author’s Note: Because I’m on good terms with Victoria Kada, I ask that no one go over and troll on her journal or send her a hate e-mail. That would be immature and just plain mean. She’s perfectly nice and reasonable, so no flaming please. Back to your regularly scheduled MiSTing.~ Sakura: Livejournal, the reason the internet exists! Kirito: Hear, hear! > Summary: Khota Kirito [dumbfounded]: How the… ih… yih… HOW!? How do you misspell your main character’s name, my little brother’s very name?! It’s his birth name, too, not a stage name!! Kyo: I think you can just stop at "HOW??". Sakura: Nothing to fear! It’s not about Kohta, it’s about this Khota fellow! Hyde: Wishful thinking at its best, welcome to the group. > realizes that his brother is truly an Akuma. Kohta POV. Sakura: Kohta: Prisoner Of Victoria. > Author’s notes: Ano this is the first first person story I’ve ever > written. Hyde: Is there any delicate way to say that sentence? I hate to say it, but I think not… dang. > Also its my first fanfic in 5 years Kirito: A little rusty are we? > and my First ever Jrock fic. Kyo: Welcome to the dark side. After this, it’s all downhill. > Wow lots of first’s with this fic, I feel so innocent…. Sakura: That fourth period looks so lonely… that is until I remember what the fic is about. [all cringe] > The music continued to blare loudly playing some techno dance mix as I > continue to nurse my drink in the corner. Hyde: Proper scene setting! It’s a miracle! Sakura: The system. Is down. The system. Is down. System system system… Kirito: bum bum bum Kyo: Boodle-loop Kirito: bum bum bum Hyde: Have you all gone insane? > I wasn’t sure why I came to Aiji’s Halloween party. Sakura: Free drinks. [Kyo claps] > A few weeks ago at rehearsal he was talking about how he wanted to have > one, I never thought he would actually go through with it. Really we’re > Japanese don’t celebrate Halloween, but he did it anyway. Hyde [eyes wide]: Actual recognition that this takes place in Japan and that they don’t celebrate Halloween like Americans do… > Aiji’s like that though, able to express himself without caring what > others thought. Kami-sama I wish things like that could be that simple > for me. Hyde [flabbergasted]: Character description and an actual interesting paragraph segue… Someone hold me! I forgive you oh misspellings! Kyo: You do realize your joy will be short lived. Hyde: Stop crashing my dream to itty bitty pieces! Kyo: But it’s oh so fun. > I took another sip of my drink as none other than Aiji himself came > bouncing over, dressed in some magical fairy outfit. [Kirito cracks up] > "Kohta why aren’t you up enjoying the party?" He asked, tugging on my > sleeve to get me up. I said nothing in reply. He just made a moppey > face placing his hands on his hips. Kirito: Is a moppey face something you make when you put a mop on your head? > "You’re not even dressed up." > > That’s right you’re supposed to dress up on Halloween, I thought to > myself. Kyo: Amazing deduction, Sherlock. > "I am though." Hyde: And I am however. Sakura: Really? DUDE! It’s me, Nonetheless, from Lit class! > "Really, what are you?" Sakura: I am the guardian of the hell. > "A guitarist," I smirked happy to think of a good answer. Kyo: Actually, that’s a really sucky answer, foocha. > "That’s cheating." He mopped. Kirito: I always have Aiji do my manual janitorial labour. > "You don’t even have a guitar with you." > "Oh." Kyo: Pwned. > Aiji sighed, "At least get out on the dance floor and try to enjoy > yourself." Kirito: Yeah, don’t be such a tag-tail. Kyo [leering]: I might have to hurt you. > With that he left moving on to the next part guest. Hyde: I’m going to ignore that line and hope it meant party guest not part of a guest. Kyo: But loose human body parts would make this oh so much more fun. > I took another sip of my drink already slightly feeling the effects. > My brain was telling me to leave before I did something stupid, but of > course I didn’t listen. Hyde: Idiot. Also, from here on, I’m going to imagine that there are commas in these sentences. It’ll make me feel better. > I just remained there taking sips; admiring the crowd like I was at a > zoo, and with all the costumes it did make for one interesting zoo. Kirito: Why look, it’s the Pied-Billed Grebe! Hyde: Royle’s Pika, AMAZING! Kyo: The Wild Foocha! Sakura: Crikey, it’s the wild Gackt in its natural habitat! ‘Es a BEAUT. Look as ‘e attempts to perform a mating call and dance, but fails miserably! That’s why they’re an endangered species, folks. I think I’ll try an’ get a lill’ bit closer… Fascinating, ‘es feeding on some wild Fruit, a close relative. The wild Gackt has some special what we call "compounds" in ‘is saliver and so the wild Fruit appears to be ENJOYING it. Aww, folks, this is too ‘orrible t’watch. > It was around this time that I caught a glimpse of him, none other than > my dictator brother Kirito. Kirito: Do I ALWAYS have to be the dictator? Kyo: Would you rather be the janitor? Kirito: Shut up or I’ll shoot you. > He was in costume unlike me, but was still extremely easy to spot. In > one glace Sakura: ICECREAM!! > seeing those tight leather pants and small black shirt my brain > instantly recognized him. Kyo: Need I point out that Kohta is recognizing Kirito only by his body in tight leather? As in it being a common occurrence to him, and the one way he recognizes his form? Kirito: What did I say about shutting up? >My gaze drifts up reveling his half mask of some sort of goblin creature > he held to his lovely pale face. Hyde: The mask was so jovial we had to have a party! > Something inside me wanted to scream, but I kept it inside swallowing > the rest of my drink in one gulp. Why was I so bent up all of a sudden? > I know that I’ve always felt extremely close to Kirito, but that was > just the normal brotherly bond. It’s not like I’ve had restless night > thinking about him or anything. Sakura [guiltily, Kohta]: No, SURELY not, not at all, not like persay every night lying awake in lust or anything, nosirree… ahhahahaaa. Kirito: For all of our safety, I’m going to assume that you are all referring to FIC Kohta. Sakura: Why of course. Kyo: It’s how we stay sane! Try playing along, it’s fun. > Or had thoughts of him touching my in places that few have. Hyde: Like my sixth finger. > Oh fuck Hyde: Hak! > who am I joking, my brother drove me insane with every step. On stage I > would always focus on him; not worried about fans noticing because I was > in the back and could always think of a good lie as to what I was > looking at. Kirito: So THAT’S where Kohta Sauce comes from. Okay Kyo, how’s that for playing along? Kyo: You’re getting it! > But why did Kirito have such an effect over my? Hyde: Over yer… yerrrr… yer wha? Sakura: His Roman Reconstruction in CIV II. > Well he had that effect on everyone he came across now that I think of > it. He was able to win over the hearts of countless fans in just a few > words. Kirito: Antatachi wa kichigaitachi da. > His movements on stage are erotic to the point that my heart races every > time I’ve seen him grab the mic stand in *that* way. Hyde: I like doing that too! Sakura: I know! Kyo: It’s what vocalists do. > Who knows the countless times I stood there wishing to be that micstand. Sakura: The Shadow knows. > Suddenly Kirito seemed to have crossed the sea of people in an instant > and was heading directly for me. Hyde: And thus Kirito took his staff and parted the sea of partygoers as the Lord hath commanded him! > My heart raced as I stared to come up with excuses; why I should just > get up and leave the party now, but it was too late before my thoughts > are able to collect themselves: he’d already sat next to me on the sofa. Hyde: That sentence was trying fer a record. Kyo: Of what? Hyde: Of that, I’m not so sure, but I think it got it. > He was so close; my mind started flickering with thoughts as they echoed > in my heart. Sakura: Magnifico Kyo: oh Hyde: oh Kirito: oh > "Hello Kohta," Kyo: New from Sanrio: Hello Kohta! > his voice like liquid chocolate, smooth and creamy as he slowly took > down his half mask placing it on the table. > > "Hi," I reply calmly, or at least I hope. > > He grins. "You’re not in costume." Kyo: As a matter of fact, you’re naked hur hur. > I laugh nervously. Why must I always get so nervous around > him? > > "I’m a guitarist." > "Oh, can you guess what I am my little Onii-chan." He > whispered. Hyde: You ARE yer little onii-chaWHAT!? Sakura: Guys, I think Hide-chan’s having a seizure. Kyo: It’ll pass. In the mean time: onii-chan?? Kirito: Otou…otou…otouto… [shakes head] This is when fangirl Japanese turns ugly. > Ah I wanted to die so badly at that moment. Kirito was so > close his breath on my neck his hand seeming to be absentmindedly > caressing my inner thigh. Kirito: ummm… Hands don’t absentmindedly do that. It’s usually on purpose. Especially with men. > This just can’t be happening I told myself. This, my Onii-san and > nothing more. Sakura: Knocking at his chamber door. > "I-I..." I stumbled over the words. > > "I’m a demon Kohta, an akuma." He grinned grabbing my groan. [all laugh] Hyde: Grabbing his… groan… that’s a new one fer the books. Kyo: Think he meant groin? Yeah. > "And you know what, Akumas come out to play on Halloween." > > I gulped holding back a moan as he started to rub his hand > lightly over my forming erection. Kyo: Yup! It’s "Rub N’ Ready Kohta"! A few heavy breaths from his Onii, and he’s all ready to go! Oh God someone save me… [Sakura rubs the little one’s back comfortingly] > My mind began to race with questions. Hyde: One word about Dr. Takeuchi and someone dies. Kyo: Well it’s no fun if we can’t traumatize you with flashbacks to Esmeraude. Kirito: What’s the AC of a +1 Elven Helm of Fortitude? Sakura: Why is the sky green? Hyde: 20, and because you’re on Namek, now can we continue? > Why was he doing this now? Why in front of all these people? Was this > just some joke and I was taking it too far? Kyo: ohhh… I think this went past the realm of being a JOKE a lOOOONG time ago, Kohta. > Had he known my feelings or was this just brought on by some whim? Hyde: Don’t you just love it when fanfic instill you with a sense of whimsy? > He seemed to have read my mind, softly nipping at my neck > before saying: "Because I can." Kirito [proudly]: I’m Psychic. > I let out another moan as I unbuttons my pants and slid his > hand inside grasping my length in his hand and slowelly pumping it in > his hand. > > "How badly do you want me right now my little Onii-chan?" [All groan, then start to physically mock the characters making out in front of them. Although the scene is crowded, no one seems to notice.] > I moaned out not really giving an answer. > > "Do you want me to stop?" He asked, slowing down to almost > nothing. > > "No," I panted. > > He hissed, "Then tell me." > > "Onii-san, onegai." I begged not believe I was. [all stop.] [pause] All: WHAT. eh…the… WHAT??? Hyde: I jist… I jist… I can’t make anything out of that, I really can’t. Sakura [shaking his head, face dumbfounded]: It’s whimsicorical. Kyo [same]: I don’t even know what that means. And yet I agree. Sakura: Eye of Argon. Kirito: This is nothing close to Eye of Argon. Let us all be glad. Hyde: I take back what I said about ignoring the grammar of this fic… Sakura: This is just like "Call me Dave, David, or Davey-kins if you must." It just gets funnier the more you read it. > He kissed me again biting my bottom lip hard. "You can do > better." > > "Please Onii." > > He smiled and started to go faster as I felt my need build up > inside of me. The thoughts of what other people would think if they saw > us were far from my mind at this point. Kirito: Which we guessed considering that you’re in a crowded room and everyone can see you getting it on. > This was something that I dreamed for as long as I chose to accept a > room full of people who would only take a glance at us then go back to > dancing was NOT going to get me from having this. [All pause.] Sakura: Let’s read that again. [all read again] Hyde: Anyone got anything? Because I don’t. Kirito: My brain is still trying to process it. Kyo: Wakkinao. > I was there, so close, panting and moaning with every hard > stroke, but my Onii seemed to realize this. He took his hand out, I let > out a groan in protest, but he quickly silenced it with a kiss. His > tongue forcefully intered my mouth Kyo: RIP, Kohta’s mouth. You sucked your brother well. > exploring the cavern as if it belonged to him all these years. Sakura: Ex-TREME dictatorial spelunking. > He finished with a grin on his face grabbing my hand and moving me > through the crowds of people walking me to one of Aiji’s guest bedrooms > locking the door behind us. Kirito: Oh yes, Aiji’s apartment is SO immense. It has like a MILLION guest rooms. Pfft. > He turned glaring at me, his eyes filled with a hunger. He > pushed me down onto the bed where he just looked me over for several > moments. I wondered what was taking so long. Kyo: Yeeesh Kohta, Impatient are we? > I had already grown addicted to his touch. Sakura [grumbling]: Fine, I’ll say it. Kirito, better than heroin. You happy? > Then a sudden thought flooded my thoughts. Was he suddenly disgusted > with me? Kirito: Yes. > Was that out there just some fleeting moment that I’d only be able to > fantasize about from now on? Kirito: Affirmative. Had he suddenly been hit with the fact that I was his brother? Kirito: Like a ten ton satchel of bricks. Sakura: Tell me, Kyo, what weighs more, ten tons of bricks or ten tons of feathers. Kyo: … Wait, it’s a trick question, neither. Hyde: He’s not stupid, Ya-chan. Sakura: Just making sure… > "From here on you will call me Akuma-sama," he stated with a > grin before grabbing both of my hands and putting them above my head. Sakura: And danced the Macarena! > He quickly stripped me of my clothes leaving his on. It > felt strange, but at the same time so erotic to be able to be this close > to my Onii. One of his hands needed my nipple as he attacked my neck > biting, licking, leaving marks in his wake makeing his way down heating > up my already warm flesh. Hyde [kohta’s hand]: Tarnation! That is ONE HOT NIPPLE! I NEED it! It is the very air I breathe! Nyyyyyiiiiipleeee!! > He moved to my thigh, completely forgetting my length, > finding a portion of my flash and licking it like a wounded animal. Kirito: I can’t decide whether to make a Flash Gordon or The Flash joke here. > A sharp pain shot through me, cold steel connecting with my flesh as my > Onii chuckled. He brought the bloodied knife to my face and licked the > blade. Kyo: Where’d the knife come from!? Kirito: My gay bike. Kyo: You said that so seriously… > "You taste so good Onii-chan, but I wonder…" He trailed off > kissing again; letting me taste the blood that was still on his lips. > > This was getting strange I know, way too intense for most of > my fantizes, Sakura: Fantazies, new from the creators of Tea Coziez and Tom Dyron Edition Invadorz! Hyde: You’re Brunching on borrowed time. > but by now he was placeing little nips and kisses were dangerously close > to my need and any thoughts of protest quickly subsided. > > He finally made his way down to my aching, licking the tip generously > before taking it in his mouth. This was better than any of those > fantasies that kept me up at night. Here it was real as ever, my > echoing cries of pleasure filled the small room. He lifted up my leg > and slid a finger in. The pain lessened with his mouth on my manhood I > was in too much bliss to take too much notice as he slid two more finger > in. Hyde: A period would help! Pluralize! Why isn’t anyone riffing? Kirito: Pfft, standard Lemon. Kyo: Read it. Sakura: Saved it. Kirito: Deleted it. > Then suddenly he hit it, that one spot that made me feel as if I had > died. Kirito: Strange. I was under the impression that stimulation of the prostate was pleasurable and death was not. Kyo: Haha! You and your old fashioned ideas. > He seemed to take note of this hitting it again and again as my moans > increased while sucking more intensely. I let out one last moan, > screaming his name as I came in his mouth. > > I lay their panting as he glared at me. Kyo: In a surprise upset, "their panting" gets some whilst being stared at! > The look in his eyes made me want to cower in the corner for fear that > he’d lash out some how. > > "Onii-chan, what did I tell you?" He asked a heavy under tone in his > voice as he positioned himself at my entrance. Hyde: I don’t know, I’ve forgotten already. > My thoughts scattered. There was no way I could concentrate at a moment > like this. I wanted him in me so badly. Kirito: I’m sorry? What’s that Kyo? Did I hear you say something about my brother and cock-lust? Kyo: I’m not saying anything, but now that you mention it… Kirito: Good, I’m glad we all came to an agreement about your silence. > He was so close. Why hasn’t he moved yet? Could he be waiting for my > answer? Hyde: "What is Buck Tick?" > "I-I- Sakura: Aye-yeye-yeye-yeye, Cinco de Mustache! Kyo: Totchi thinks he’s hip, he grows hair on his lip… Kirito: What on EARTH are you two singing? > That seemed to be all he needed he finally slams into me in > one quick motion. I cried out in pleasure, but at this point I couldn’t > tell if it was just that. He remained there biting my neck, letting me > get adjusted to him. > > "Amaku-sama, my little Onii-chan, and don’t you forget that. > Not today, not tomorrow." He pulled back than thrusts into me making me > moan. "Not ever." Hyde: Okay, I think I’ve figured this out: Amaku is Kohta. Kirito: Makes a modicum of sense. > His movements were rough but each one carefully placed, > hitting me in that one spot that made me want to cry out in rapture. > His movements increased my blood flowed making it easier for him. Kyo: As Klaha and his penis are not here, I will say this for him: Ewewewewewewew. Hyde: What is this obsession with his penis? Kyo: Meh. I’m just rubbing it in because he’s not here to yell at me about it. Teasing with no sense of payback. Plus, I miss the little guy. Hyde: Klaha? Kyo: No, his penis. Hyde: … Kirito: The repercussions of that statement are so grave that I’m going to assume you said it in jest. > I loved it though. The feel of him taking me I wanted him to do it > again and again in a never ending cycle. Kirito: The cycle of nirvana gets a new twist! > I wanted us to be locked in this room forever just my Onii-san and I. > > His was nearing his end crying, moaning as he increased > giving one final thrust before releasing his seed deep inside me. He > laid on me panting in my ear for a few minutes not saying a word. Then > he just got up and walked out of the room as if nothing happened. Kyo: How romantic. > ~~~Next day ~~~ [all make speed racer doodle-doop noises] > The next day I woke up to Aiji knocking on the door. He was > reminding me that we had rehearsal today. Only my brother would think > to schedule a rehearsal after a party. He would just get mad and yell > at us for messing up our parts, but he wanted it perfect. Kirito: Bwahahahaha! > So after getting dressed and eating meal Aiji decided we > should be going. Onii hated when anyone was late. So we both filed > into Aijis car and left. > > "So you had fun at the party I see He said smiling as if it > was his accomplishment. Hyde: Oh great period and end quote, return to us!! IA IA, bad grammar fhtagn! > "I guess," I sighed. > > "Aw come on. Who was it?" > > Aiji had always been a little noseye. Kyo: Awww, after all those euphemisms for the male genitalia, now the author’s just making up body parts. > "No one really," I lied, but I couldn’t say it was my brother > now could I? Hyde: Technically you could… Kirito: Actually, Kohta is incapable of saying the sentence "Shinya or Kirito deshita." Sad, really. He could never blame me for anything. > "Come on. You can tell me I won’t mind." > > I shrugged as we pulled into the parking lot. "It was just > some random guy." Kyo: Only MY BROTHER with whom I had wild hot mansex involving a knife!! Sakura: The knoife! The knoife! > The rest of the members seemed to slowly trail in. My > brother, of course, was the last to arrive walking in with a grace that > could never be duplicated. Sakura: Like a Jellical cat! Kirito: I’m too sexy for my shiiirt, too sexy for my shiiirt, so sexy it huuuurts. > My heart stopped, I caught him in my gaze everything else seemed to > disappear fading away like dust. Kirito and Kyo: Duuust in the wind, all we are is duuust in the wiiiind. > He only took a moment to glanced at me even then he could’ve been > looking at my shoes, my shoulder, the space to the right of me for all I > knew, but it was enough to ignite that burning fire that I had for him > again. Hyde [uncanny Gackt imitation]: Feeel zaaa FIIIYAHHHH!! > "Ok come on let’s start," He stated putting his back to me. > It was at that time I realized that my one night with my > brother would remain only that. In fact, I was starting to disbelieve > it wasn’t ever true. Hyde: So, you believed it was true? > It had just been a dream, a long played out fantasy that was brought on > by my own want and alcohol. I had suppressed the dull pain in me not > wanting to realize that I had my dream, my fantasy, and that I’d never > be able to live it again. Hyde: Is this the real life? Sakura: Is this just fantasy? Kirito: Okay. That’s it. We’re singing that damn song to get it out of your systems. Sakura: But we don’t have a piano… Kyo: Yeah, how are we supposed to perform it without a piano? > On Halloween my brother dressed as an akuma just like the other 364 days > of the year. Kyo: He can count!! Sakura [Omi’s English voiceactor]: Yeah, all three of themturns out I can’t count. {Nothing you couldn’t imagine was projected onto the j-rockers in this fic. You can imagine as everything returned to normal.} Hyde took of his headset and wires right away as the torturers appeared on screen. "I’ll cut to the chase. Tense did not exist in this fic. I didn’t comment because that would have become gratuitous. Those two sentences in the middle were as stupefying as they were hilarious. The ending was good though. It gave the entire fic that feeling of fantasy VS reality, leaving the true answer in limbo: a really good starting point fer a psychological study of Kohta. I’ll pass it over to Kyo now." "Why thank you Takarai, represent! If there’s one thing I missed more than Klaha’s penis," Kyo began. "Stop that!!" Hyde and Kirito fumed. "…It was that great whore of the beast Fic Kohta. That little guy just kept going after manlength with all the ambition of the little engine that could. I’m so proud. No really I’m not. I mean, why is it that in both of these incest stories, Kohta had to be such a harlequin?" "I applaud your use of the word ‘harlequin’, and agree with you, Mr. … what IS your last name?" Kirito inquired. "Yo’ FACE," Kyo responded. "Err…anyway, Kyo, it pains me to see my younger brother portrayed as such an eager trollop, knowing that in fact he’s one of the shyest people I know. It’s mischaracterization to the extreme unless some explanation, no matter how small, is given for his sudden change, even a caveat to his former behaviour. Talking about vague pent up longing doesn’t cut it." Murata concluded. "I can’t believe Hide-chan didn’t point this out, OR Murata-san. There’s a BIG gap in plausibility in this fic!" Sakurazawa exclaimed. All turned their heads to him. "Please remember that the scene where they first met was a party packed with assumedly people who knew both brothers. First of all, why was nothing said then?" "Perhaps because it really WAS a dream?" Hyde argued for the sake of knowledge. "But if we say it WAS REAL, then Aiji’s conversation in the morning was ridiculous." "How so?" "One: The party took place in Aiji’s home. Two: the two brothers were making out in plain sight. Three: Aiji had already and consistently expressed interest in Kohta’s wereabouts and actions. Thus: Aiji would have noticed that the two were making out and could have made an obvious assumption. Four: The two brothers retired to a guest room in Aiji’s house. Five: they made a LOT of noise." "Couldn’t the music have been loud enough to cover them?" "Orgasmic screaming coming through the apartment wall adjacent? I doubt it. Six: Kirito went on to leave Kohta, assumedly still naked, unkempt and sullied from their affair, returning to the party where yet again he would have been seen. Seven: Kohta did not shower after waking up, and after sleeping in a messed-up bed would probably still smell like sex. Thus: Aiji’s question of whether Kohta had sex or not is needless, and the party who performed the act upon him is obvious. Either Aiji’s a sadist or dumb as a doorknob. Not to even mention that two men having sex would have probably piqued the party’s and Aiji’s interest long before any questions were to be asked." "Well then in summary, based on that logic," Kyo cut in. "And since eight: there was no morning after butt pain, we can assume that it WAS in fact an alcohol laden dream. It was all in Kohta’s mind." "You all DO realize you have just argued the finer points of subconscious understanding of fantasy VS reality in a fic that hosted the sentence ‘I begged not believe I was’, right?" Kirito massaged his forehead. "It’s what makes our day." Hyde smiled. "In the name of my sanity, Miyavi, push the button." Kirito groaned. "Wait, we haven’t had anything to say yet!!" The girls screeched as Miyavi promptly pushed the button. EPISODE LIST DESU! Ep1: MVT VS Mason "Hot Chocolate on a Cold night" by Esmeraude parts 1&2 [No picture can properly represent the pure existential horror that is this fic.] Our MiSTing team is assembled, captured by the overly rich fangirl Mads Mary & Sue. Hyde Kirito, Klaha and Kyo meet and explore their new environment. They subsequently learn to hate Mason, questions, and that creepy Dr. Takeuchi, and Kyo vows to make his next tattoo read "I Hakun LOVE Yu ~ Ki!!" Ep2: MVT VS Fnord "Creative Master" by Kei Kirito is possessed multiple times, and ends up trashing everything. Our riffers discover the joy of fnord, and Hyde shows off his mad martial arts skilz. And it all ends in a… cliff hanger? Marvel as Kirito decides to stay on Kohta’s ass, matching the horrid grammar of Ep1 with the power of pure KxK squick factor. Ep3: MVT VS Sakura "Wierd" by Xz0ner/Hidoko Matsumoto/hidoko M'A~tsu~Moto (^_~) parts 1 & 2 Klaha is switched out for Sakura who has been living with Shoggoths for four months. Our riffers are subjected to the living hell that is Sakura x Yukihiro rapefic with raging Tethai OTP. It all ends in disaster as it turns out every escape plan has been foiled before its inception. Miyavi is "cured" and acts strangely coherent. ~Credits~ Dir en grey and all members fall under sun-krad co, L’Arc~en~Ciel and all members and associated members (and this time, that extention is important) fall under the jurisdiction of MAVERIC D.C. , Malice Mizer and all members fall under the umbrella of Midi:Nette, Miyavi falls under the ownership of Phalanx of Swash buckers Company, Pierrot and all members fall under the rule of Sweet Child entertainments. All j-rockers probably ultimately own and are copyrighted by themselves, and their personas are used with only the utmost respect. The fanfiction "Akuma" is owned by Victoria Kada, and in a startling new turnaround, I have her permission to do this! No offense is meant to the author. This final copy was approved by Victoria Kada. To complete the legalese, this MiSTing is copyright putti_plush ( putti_plush@yahoo.com ) who only wishes to entertain and is very open to comments and criticism as well as personal contact. This MiSTing would LOVE to have a home at any archive or personal site! ~Character notes for the MST3K crowd: All of these characters, sauf the Mads, are based off of real J-rockers. I have of course, simplified the complex personalities of real people for this MiSTing Format, and added a few standardizations of character for riffing. I have tried to stay as close to the origional character of the man as possible, and let my plot additions make sense. Please refer to episode one for in-depth summaries, but beware the rumour-infested internet.~