[Joel and the bots file into the theater and take their seats.] > The Era of Apocalypse > X-Men and Sailor Moon Crossover > Chapter 2 > A Sacrifice of Love Tom: Oh no! Apocalypse is going to force the X-men to watch cheesy movies and read bad fanfics! The evil fiend! Joel: Now that I think about it, "Artemis' Lover" or "ASADAE" could probably take down Galactus without too much trouble. >The Sailor Scouts and Professor X along with the X-men runned out leaving >Sailor Chibi Moon sleeping in the room, when they arrived to the outside, >they saw that it was Apocalypse the one who was in the sky standing in his >ship. Joel: As opposed to Joel the one who was in the theater riffing this fic. >-So you found new mutants Professor ? Then they shall perish along with >your students ! ! ! > >Suddenly dozens of sentinel robots appeared Joel: Wow, those magic lessons must really be paying off! Crow: [Apocalypse] And now, for my next trick, watch me pull Mr. Sinister out of my hat! >and the battle ensued, Sailor >Moon and the Sailor Scouts had to combine their powers in order to defeat a >single one, in other side Sailor Saturn and Sailor Neptune were taking care >of other Sentinels along with the X-Men, but this was only a distraction >planned by Apocalypse because while they were fighting he sended a team of >mutants known as the Disciples of Apocalypse to get Sailor Chibi Moon, he Tom: Wait, Disciples of Apocalypse? I knew he had Horsemen, but where'd he get these guys from? Joel: Oh, you know. Around. >intended to turn her into a mutant, without their knowledge he had been >studding the Sailor Scouts to find out who could be the best one, he Crow: So Apocalypse runs an ear-piercing salon on the side? Joel: Well, the whole superpowered megalomaniac thing really doesn't pay as well as you might think. >thought about Mercury but he knew that because of her intelligence, she >could cause him trouble, then he centered his attention in the pink haired >girl, the ten year old was the best prospect, so he prepared a plan to >capture them, unfortunately the X-Men were in the area and he decided to >create an electromagnetic storm to force them to land in Tokyo so he could >take two birds with one stone.- Tom: [Apocalypse] Gee, I think I'll bring my most powerful enemies to the site of my latest bid for world domination... it's not like anything could possibly go wrong with that idea... >Meanwhile the heroes and heroines noticed >that the Sentinels started to leave the area and return to Apocalypse’s >ship were Sailor Chibi Moon was held captured. > >-Why did they leaved ? Joel: Hey... am I imagining things, or did Doom pass up a chance to say 'lefted'? Tom: Well, he's been writing these things for a while... maybe's he's just trying out a new shtick. >Asked Jubilee > >-I think we got them > >Answered Sailor Mercury > >-uh uh not a chance girl, we have faced this things before and they have >never leaved a battle. Joel: And again! He did it again! Crow: Yeah, you're right! [pause] Crow: So, is it the end of the world yet? Joel: No, but I hear the Olsen Twins are getting a new sitcom. Tom: Ugh. Close enough. >Then they returned to the room finding out that Sailor Chibi Moon wasn’t >there.- Jean used her powers to see the events that took place while their >were in battle. Tom: ...And she's been able to do this since when? Joel: [holds up a cross] Foul plot contrivance, begone! >-...Sailor Mars is entering the room...Sailor Chibi Moon is awake and wants >to go out and help....now Mars gives her a drink and she falls a >sleep...probably a sedative...oh God...Sauron is taking her to Apocalypse’s >ship...Sailor Mars leaves the room.. Joel: Hey, she's getting out of the fanfic! Help! Take us with you! >When Jean ended everyone stared at Sailor Mars, who was shocked with what >she heard.- Sailor Moon took her by her blouse. Crow: [chuckles] Doom, you gotta stop setting yourself up like this... >-You...how could you...I know we always fight with each other...but I >didn’t knew that your hate and envy were like that.... > >Then she started to cry uncontrollably > >-BUT I DIDN’T DO NOTHING ! ! Tom: Ah-ah-ah, that's a double negative! Crow: [falsetto] I PITY THE YOUMA WHO BE DISRESPECTIN' ME! >I WAS OUT THERE TOO ! ! Crow: Would it be too predictable to say that this entire fanfic is out there? Joel: Probably. You'd be right, but it'd still be kind of predictable. >Sailor Jupiter slapped her. >-YOU EVIL MONSTER ! ! ! IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO SAILOR CHIBI MOON I’LL KILL >YOU MYSELF YOU UNDERSTAND THAT ? ?! ! Crow: Meow! Catfight! Tom: Anyone else get the feeling Doom writes for Jerry Springer on the side? >In Apocalypse’s ship, Renee woke up and found herself hanging from chains. > >-LET ME GO ! ! ! Joel: Ah yes, the time honored damsel in distress tactic of screaming loudly... Tom: When in doubt, it's normally best to stick with the classics. >Suddenly a woman with a blue and white suit entered the room. > >-What is it my dear, uncomfortable ? > >-SAILOR MOON AND THE OTHERS WILL RESCUE ME ! ! ! Tom: WE HEAR YOU! WE HEAR YOU! Crow: [woman in suit] Note to self: From now on, *gag* all prisoners. >-Sure sure...the problem is that they are now punishing Sailor Mars for >giving you to us. Crow: Wink wink, nudge nudge, knowwhatImean, knowwhatImean? Tom: [mimes a whip being cracked] >-NO ! ! THAT ‘S A LIE ! ! ! > >-Don’t you remember the drink I gave you my love ? Crow: Say... Joel: Now, Crow. That 'my love' was probably just a sarcastic reference to the fact that she had been masquerading as Sailor Mars. >To Renee’s supprise will she talked she changed her form, now she got >Sailor Mars in front of her. Joel: See? Crow: Yeah, I guess you're right. Tom: Wait a minute-- that's even more disturbing. [pause] Joel: Er, let's change the subject. Tom: Good idea. >-My master will make a good mutant out of you...and it was all Sailor Mars >fault HAHHAA ! ! ! > >In the hotel room the interrogation of Sailor Mars continued. > >-I swear I didn’t do it ! ! You have to believe me ! ! ! Tom: [Sailor Mars] I'll talk in all caps if you don't! >Wolverine walked towards her taking the claws of his right hand out. Joel: [Wolverine] *RIP* Arrgh! Tom: [falsetto] Gee, I never knew those things were detatchable... Joel: [Wolverine] They're not supposed to be! >-Maybe I should finish what I started earlier on... > >But Sailor Mars leaved the room in tears and runned on the street until she >got to the Cherry Hill Temple, once there she got in her room and started >to cry in her bed until a voice made her react. > >-Rei...Rei.. Joel: [Rei] Do you mind? Look, I'm trying to angst here! >-What do you want Luna ? Are you going to yell at me too ? > >-No my dear...I believe you, I saw you in battle...I only want you to know >that Artemis and I will help you. Crow: [Luna] Of course, since we're the ones who tell the Scouts what to do, I guess we could have done something drastic like *tell them that you're innocent*... >-Thanks Luna. > >In the ship Renee woke up when the door opened again and she saw the 8 feet >figure of Apocalypse along with a men who looked like a Pterodactyl. > >-Sauron...here is the one I told you about... I want you to start working >immediately...her friends will be here soon and I want her to be ready. > >-Yes master Apocalypse...look at my eyes child...look into my eyes... Tom: SLEEP! >Renee tried not to, but she started to fell asleep Tom: Hey, I'm pretty good! Joel: [Sauron] When I ring this bell, you will become a whiny, annoying brat who serves no real purpose other than as a plot device... >then Sauron unlocked the >chains that holded her arms and took her to another room where he took her >uniform off All: AAAARRRRRRRGH!!! Joel: Avert your eyes, everyone! Don't look directly at the fanfic! Crow: Too late. I'm scarred for life. Tom: Stupid head! Why won't you ever explode when I *need* you to? >and putted her inside a chamber then after putting an oxygen >mask he pressed a button and the chamber filled with a green liquid, then >he pressed another buttons and purple rays appeared inside, Sauron watched >a screen to see the progress of the mutation.- Meanwhile Sailor Moon and >Professor Xavier were talking. Tom: [Sailor Moon] So, we're agreed? Joel: [Xavier] Right. Diet Dr. Pepper really *does* taste more like regular Dr. Pepper! >-Why do you think Apocalypse kidnapped your friend ? > >-I don’t know Professor, this is the first time we saw this Apocalypse guy. > >-Don’t worry we will help you rescue her. > >-Thank you. > >In other area Logan and Haruka were also talking. Joel: *WATCH* as random characters engage in tedious and boring conversations! Tom: *GASP* as the plot comes to a screeching halt! Crow: *THRILL* as-- wait a minute. What plot? Tom: Er... >-Tell me one thing Haruka, why were you so worried about me the other day ? > >For any answer she took him by the neck and started to kiss him. Crow: For *any* answer? Joel: Must make conversation kind of awkward... >-I love you Logan....with all my heart. > >-I love you too Haruka... Tom: What, just like that? They just meet each other, barely even talk to each other, and suddenly they're in love? Joel: I guess so... Crow: This sort of thing happens a lot in anime. Tom: I see. [pause] So, Joel, has the dating process become completely obsolete since you were on earth, or what? >Then they continued to kiss each other with the Moon as witness of their >love.- Crow: And Wolverine makes yet another conquest! Tom: How many women does this guy have by now, anyway? Joel: He really is the best at what he does... >Meanwhile in Apocalypse’s ship the 6 foot giant entered the lab to >see the advances in his experiment. Crow: Wasn't Apocalypse eight feet tall a few minutes ago? Joel: Hang on, there's a tag on his back. "Caution: Villain may shrink in wash..."? >-How is it going Sauron ? > >-Fine my Lord.- She will be ready soon. > >-Perfect. > >Meanwhile, Sailor Moon and the other Sailor Scouts, including Sailor Mars >were in the Black Bird getting ready to save Renee.- Sailor Mars sitted on >a chair and started to look through the window, Joel: [falsetto] I'm sad! >she reacted when Sailor Jupiter talked to her. Joel: [falsetto] Now I'm surprised! >-If you try to betray us Sailor Mars, I will not hesitate in killing you, >you understand ? > >She didn't answered, she only turned her face so her friend could not see >the tears on her eyes. Joel: [falsetto] Now I'm sad again! Tom: ACTING! >Minutes later they were inside of the ship, and started to look for Sailor >Chibi Moon, suddenly several Sentinels appeared, Crow: What, just out of nowhere? Joel: Maybe they've got cloaking technology or something. Tom: Where'd Apocalypse even *get* Sentinels, anyway? >and the battle started >again, everyone was doing fine until the moment when Wolverine was trapped >between two Sentinels, seeing this Sailor Uranus rushed to help him, seeing >that one of them was about to shot Wolverine from the back she did the only >thing she thought, she putted herself between the laser and Wolverine, who >turned around when he heard the scream of pain of Sailor Uranus, Tom: Leaving the *other* Sentinel free to shoot him in the back. >after >taking care of the robot he rushed to help her, when he found her she had >her uniform and body horribly burned, she took his hand to ask him one last >wish. > >-Lo...Logan...pl...please promise me...that...you >will...protect....Michiru... Crow: [Haruka] Yeah, just like you protected me, you-- Joel: Crow... >-It won’t be necessary, you’ll be OK, you’ll see > >-No Logan...it’s over for me...please promise me that you will protect her > >-I promise.... Tom: [Wolverine] Sure, why not, another human shield might come in handy! >Then she convulsed and her hand falled to the ground...Sailor Neptune who >arrived at that precise moment just falled against a wall Crow: Whoa! Inner ear disorder! Joel: That, or Michiru's had a few too many drinks before the fight... >and started to >cry.- Logan snapped. Joel: [Wolverine, crazed] Of course... it all makes sense now! We're all just characters in a comic book, I tell you! A COMIC BOOK! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! >-ARRRGGGGGHHH ! ! !NOW APOCALYPSE WILL PAY ! ! ! ! > >Suddenly a door opened, and what they saw shocked them. Crow: Apocalypse in a sailor fuku! Oh, the humanity! Joel: CROW! >-Sailor Chibi Moon ? > >Serena runned towards her but in response the girl jumped in the air and >created two light swords Tom: [deep voice] Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father... >which he used to attack Sailor Moon who flew back > >with her chest bleeding.- > >The other Sailor Scouts rushed to help her. Crow: [random Sailor Scout] Finish her off, Rini! Tom: [ditto] We'll hold her down for you! >-haha. No Sailor Moon, Sailor Chibi Moon is dead, you can call me >Cerise ! ! ! Joel: And you can call me Al! Crow: Huh? Joel: Paul Simon. Before your time. >To be continued... > >Next chapter : The Battle of the Princesses Dr. F: [over intercom] Oh, Joel? Could you come up to the bridge for a moment? There's something I'd like to speak with you about... Tom: Uh-oh. Crow: This could be bad. Joel: Well, let's see what he wants... [Joel and the bots exit the theater.] [Commercials]