Well, here we go again! This is my third misting, and I haven't been flamed yet, so I must be doing *something* right(or at least, I must not be doing too much wrong...) Anyway, Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi, the X-men belong to Marvel comics, and this fanfic belongs to Victor Von Doom (the fanfic author, not the FF villian.) No insult is intended to him or his work, and I realize he put some effort into this fic, so let's not flame the nice man, okay? As always, all flames, death threats, comments, and questions can be sent to Spider256@hotmail.com [Bridge of the SOL. Gypsy enters from the left.] Gypsy: This doesn't look good... oh, hi! I'm Gypsy, and this is the Satellite of Love. This really isn't the best time for a visit, though. You see, Dr. F finally managed to break Joel's will, and... oh great, now the mads are calling again. [Deep 13. TV's Frank is there by himself, looking worried.] Frank: So, uh, Gypsy... how are Joel and the bots doing? [SOL] Gypsy: I don't know, I haven't even seen them for hours. [Deep 13] Frank: [nervous] Well, actually, that's because I kind of... sent them another movie. [SOL] Gypsy: You WHAT?! They've already had the will to live sucked out of them! Another movie right now might kill them! Besides, you've already thrown the worst that Ed Wood, Roger Corman, and Stephen Ratliff have to offer at them! What's left to send them?! [Deep 13] Frank: Psycho, actually. [SOL] Gypsy: Ps... Psycho? As in Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho? [Deep 13] Frank: You're welcome. [SOL] Gypsy: But why would you...? [Deep 13] Frank: Call it a guilt attack. I had this weird dream last night, and Joel was there, and Tom, and Crow, and some guy named Mike... [shakes head] look, let's just say I was trying to make up for Manos. [Dr. Forrester enters from the right.] Dr. F: Frank, what are you doing? Frank: Uh, nothing sir, just gloating evilly. Dr. F: Great! Keep up the good work! [Exits the scene] Frank: Whew. Anyway, the movie should be ending just about now... [SOL. By a staggering coincidence, Joel, Tom, and Crow enter the scene at that exact moment.] Tom: That was great! Joel: Yeah... you know, Psycho's just one of those movies that keeps getting better every time you see it. Crow: Hey look, it's TV's Frank! Tom: How ya doin', buddy? [Deep 13] Frank: Pretty good... look guys, I hate to do this, but Dr. F's got one last experiment ready to finish you off once and for all. [SOL] Joel: Uh-oh. Tom: Hey, no problem! [Deep 13] Frank: It's a Sailor Moon/X-men crossover... [SOL] [Joel and Crow exchange glances.] Tom: No problem! [Deep 13] Frank: Starring Rini... [SOL] Joel: Ohboy. Tom: Well... no problem! [Deep 13] Frank: By Victor Von Doom. [SOL] Joel: [flinches] Tom: [weakly] No... problem... Gypsy: Good luck, guys. Joel: Thanks, I think we're gonna need it, 'cause WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!! [The usual chaos ensues] 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... [Joel and the bots enter the theater and take their seats.] > The Era of Apocalypse Joel: They killed off Professor X again? Tom: I'm dead! No, wait, now I'm back again! Now I'm dead! Now I'm back! Now I'm dead! Now I'm back! Now I'm--say, is this bugging you? >X-Men and Sailor Moon Crossover >Chapter 1 >The Reunion > >Tokyo’s International Airport, 20 :30 hr. an airtrafic controller receives >an emergency call from a very unusual plane. Crow: "Hello? Yes... why yes, my refrigerator *is* running! >-Tokyo’s International Airport, please identify yourself Joel: Well, I'm a really big area in Tokyo where planes land, and I recieve flights from other countries... >-Good evening Tokyo, this is the Blackbird, Cyclops leader of the X-Men >speaking, we request permission to land due to technical problems. Crow: One moment, please. Hey, boss, there's an outlaw parahuman strike force coming in for a landing! What should we do with them? Tom: Jeez, another one? All right, put 'em with Spawn and Gen13. Maybe they can network or something. >-Permission granted, you may land on land strip 5. > >Minutes later the Blackbird landed and it’s occupants descended from it. > >-OK Beast, what do you think ? Joel: [Cyclops] Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Henry? Crow: [Beast] I think so, Scott... but what is an electric boogaloo, anyway? >-It will take about three days to fix it, Cyclops. > >-Then we must find a place to stay. > >After this the X-Men ( Professor X, Cyclops, Jean Grey, Beast, Storm, >Wolverine, Jubilee, Rogue and Gambit) lefted the airport and headed towards >a hotel. All: [chuckle] Joel: All this time, and Vic still hasn't realized that 'lefted' isn't a word... Tom: In a way, it's kind of comforting. I guess some things never change. >The next morning Logan (this is Wolverine’s name and will be used during >the story), and Jubilee decided to go shopping, at the same time Haruka and >Michiru were at the same mall, Haruka noticed their presence and stood >there watching the man until Michiru pulled her arm. Tom: [Michiru] Um, remember me, darling? No one special, just the love of your life... >-Are you OK ? Crow: [Haruka] I wasn't staring! I mean... yeah, I'm fine. >-uh...yeah, let’s go. > >They continued their way, on the other side of the mall Serena, Ami, Lita, >Rei and Mina >along with their guardian cats Luna and Artemis entered the mall, >simultaneously Rogue and >Gambit were looking for Jubilee and Logan when the girls spotted them. > >-Mina look at that hunk, isn’t he cute ? > >-Yeah...but he has a girlfriend already... > >-huh ? How can you be so sure ? Maybe she is his sister... > >-SERENA ! ! Tom: [falsetto] Yes, I'm Serena... but who are you? And who was talking a second ago? Joel: [ditto] Wasn't that you? Wait a minute, who am I? >-What is it Rei ? > >-Aren’t you forgetting something ? > >-What ? Crow: [falsetto] The reason we're putting a space in front of our punctuation ! Tom: [ditto] I am ? Crow: Yes, you are ! Tom: Oops ! Sorry ! >-Darien. > >-he he... > >-But I’m going to find out ! ! Tom: [falsetto] I'll find out which one of us is talking, or die trying! >With this Mina followed them and then when Gambit was looking for a deck of >cards, she tried to bump into him but she miscalculated and bumped into >Rogue Tom: [falsetto] All right, given Gambit's current velocity in kilometers per hour, taking into account his estimated trajectory and the amount of force required to make a sufficient impact, if I increase my speed by approximately 0.05 km/s, I should--no, wait! I forgot to carry the-- Crow: *CRASH* >who couldn’t avoid >the physical contact with the girl absorbing her powers. > >-I’m so...ahhhhhh ! ! ! > >Then she falled to the ground unconscious, hearing her scream the other >girls along with the cats rushed to her aid, but when they arrived neither >Mina or the men she was following were there, they asked a witness and he >told them that he along with others took the blond girl into a car and >lefted the place. Crow: If this was about anyone else, I'd assume he meant 'left', but these *are* the X-men we're talking about... >-We have to find her ! ! >Screamed Serena. > >-Girls it’s time to transform. >Ordered Luna. > >-! !MOON PRISM POWER ! ! >-! !MERCURY POWER ! ! >-! !MARS POWER ! ! >-! !JUPITER POWER ! ! Tom: GENERIC TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE POWER! Crow: CONTRIVED CROSSOVER POWER! Joel: TEDIOUS RUN-ON SENTENCE POWER! All: FANFIC HELL POWER! >Once they were transformed Sailor Moon used her moon scepter to find where >Mina was, they started to follow here until they arrived to a hotel in >Central Tokyo, inside Mina was receiving assistance from the X-Men. Crow: [random x-man] She's still unconscious! I'd better give her mouth to mouth! Tom: [ditto] No, *I'd* better give her mouth to mouth! >-What happened ? > >-Looks like the kid tried to get closer to Gambit but she found me instead >Professor, there >was nothing I could do, but there is more Professor, I think she is a >mutant, look. > >Pointing her finger at the window she fired a laser blast which was seen by Sailor Moon and >the other Sailor Scouts.. All: [falsetto] *GASP* The Scout-Signal! >-There she is ! ! > >They entered the hotel and runned up the stairs to get to the room where >Mina was.- In there the X-Men were checking her when the door opened. Crow: [random x-man] Wow, those legs really *do* go all the way up! Joel: Uh, guys? Aren't we taking this a little too far? >-! !STOP RIGHT THERE NEGA-TRASH ! ! ! !I’M SAILOR MOON, CHAMPION OF >JUSTICE, I FIGHT WRONG Crow: Well, Bruce Lee she's not. >AND TRIUMPH OVER EVIL, AND THAT MEANS YOU ! ! > >The X-Men where supprised. Joel: [Cyclops] A band of super-beings challenging us to a fight? But that's only supposed to happen once a month! Crow: [Beast] The weird thing is, it keeps happening on the same day each month... >-Wait a minute please I’m Profe...arrggghhh ! ! > >A powerful lightning blast coming from Sailor Jupiter made him fall from >the chair, Tom: [snickers] Joel: JUPITER... STATIC CLING... TRIP! >seeing this the X-Men prepared to battle. > >-OK NOBODY ENTERS OUR ROOM AND ATTACKS THE PROFESSOR TAKE THIS ! ! Crow: [X-men] You ignorant fools you dare to dishonor our proffessor and for that we will attack you with our mutant powers which will succeed in destroying you hahaha ! ! ! Joel: You know, all jokes aside, not many authors can really capture that 'badly dubbed' feel in text. >Jubilee used her powers against the Sailor Scout she was closer to >happening to be Sailor Mercury, Ami falled to her knees blinded by the >fireworks, meanwhile the rest of the scouts moved around the room Sailor >Mars attacked Wolverine, who ducked but couldn’t avoid a burn in his arm, >Cyclops knew that Wolverine was a deadly enemy specially when you hurt him, >he wanted to stop him but he had Sailor Moon attacking him, Wolverine >showed his adamantium claws and flew over Sailor Mars making her and >himself pass across the window, and then falling to the ground two stories >below, inside Cyclops used his eyebeams in low charge and fired against >Sailor Moon, who falled to the ground but stood up again and prepared to >use his scepter against him, meanwhile Sailor Jupiter fired a blast against >Storm who showed her what a lighting bolt is all about when she called upon >the powers of nature that she commanded.- All: [awed silence] Joel: My god... Tom: Now *that's* a run on sentence! Crow: Uh-oh, I think I see another one coming... battle stations, everybody! All: [hide under the seats] >Outside of the building Wolverine was about to finish Sailor Mars who was >unconscious but when he was about to stick his claws on the girl’s chest a >rose hitted his eyes, he stood up to see a man in a Tuxedo Suit, but when >the strange individual was about to attack him Gambit throw several cards >to him but he was able to move before they exploded, he also saw an eight >year old girl dressed like the girls they were fighting, this girl runned >towards him and tried to attack him but Rogue took her and after taking off >one of his gloves he absorbed enough energy to knock her out, >simultaneously two other Sailor Scouts showed up, they were Sailor Uranus >and Sailor Neptune but Jean Grey captured them in a telekinetic cage, >suddenly all of them stopped the battle when they heard a voice in their >minds. Crow: [Peeks out] Is... is it over? Joel: I think so... for now, at least. All: [get back up] >-ENOUGH ! ! ! STOP THIS SENSELESS WAR AT ONCE ! ! > >-Sailor Moon what shall we do ? >Asked Sailor Jupiter Tom: [Sailor Moon] Stop this senseless war at once. Weren't you paying attention? >-I...I don’t know this is weird.. Joel: [falsetto] I *think* it's weird, but I'm not completely sure... Tom: Brace yourselves guys, here comes another run-on sentence! Crow: Oh no, not another one! >Suddenly the bald man got closer to her and laid a finger on her forehead, Tom: SLEEP! >Serena felt a strange energy going through her body which made her fall to >her knees, Joel: Er... could this be interpereted as something dirty, or have I been hanging around Crow for too long? Tom: Yes. >suddenly she started to see images showing her who this >individuals were, the way they became the X-Men and the enemies they fought >ending with the strange storm that forced their land on Tokyo, Joel: [Xavier] You know, Ororo, if you wanted to go to Japan *that* badly, you could have just asked... >at the same >time Professor Xavier saw the story behind the Sailor Scouts, the way the >Moon Kingdom was destroyed and their reborn, he also saw their fight >against Queen Beryl and the Negaverse, then against Black Moon and the >destruction of Sailor Saturn, he even saw why Mina crashed against Rogue >that morning. Tom: [weakly] All right... I think it's over. Joel: I don't know how many more run-on sentences I can take... >-So you are Sailor Moon.- Tell me why you and your friends attacked us. Crow: [falsetto] You just learned my complete history up to this point! You mean you've forgotten *already?* Tom: Well, all that mind-melding and whatnot can't be good for your short term memory. >-We thought that you were enemies because you kidnapped Mina. > >-I see. Let me explain, we had to take her here because we don’t like to >show our powers in public, Crow: And they needed to use their powers because...? Joel: [Beast] I can't figure out why her condition keeps getting worse! Quick, try hitting her with another lightning bolt! >people does not understand the nature of our power and fear us, >unfortunately your supprise attack forced us to use our powers to defend >ourselves, I hope your friends are OK. Tom: [Xavier] And on the off chance that they aren't, I've got a waiver I'd like you to sign... >-Thanks... >She started to look around for them noticing that Rei wasn’t around, >suddenly the door opened and Wolverine entered the room carrying Sailor >Mars in his arms, simultaneously Rogue entered through the window with >Sailor Chibi Moon on her arms as well.- In other area of the room Jubilee >was taking care of Sailor Mercury. Tom: Permanently, if you take my meaning... heh heh heh... Joel: Actually, Doom's fics *do* tend to be fatal for the senshi. >-Here.- Put this on your eyes it will take the pain away and will allow >you to open them. > >-What did you do to me ? Joel: [Mercury] I don't *want* you to heal me! I want to be put out of my misery! >-Just a first degree burn in order to blind you, and...uh...I think you and >your friends should use other kind of uniforms you know. > >-Why ? > >-Well, uh let’s put it this way girl, they are too provocative. > >Ami blushed to a deep red when she heard such thing. Joel: Oh, well, I--huh? Tom: [Doom] Ha! Sentence structure is for the weak! >In other side of the room Rei awaked and started to look around, when she >noticed the presence of the X-Men she got ready to start the battle but >Sailor Moon stopped her. Joel: [falsetto] NO! For the love of God, Rei, I can't take any more run-on sentences! >-The war is over Sailor Mars, they are friends not enemies, at the same >time Sailor Uranus and Sailor Saturn entered the room, when Haruka saw the >burn in Logan’s uniform she rushed to help him but was supprised when she >saw that the burn was completely healed, Logan was also supprised by the >strange display of care. >-Don’t worry, I can heal myself... > >-Oh...anyway let me put this on. Crow: Uh, do you really think you should wear that in public, honey? Joel: Now, Crow... >She took a piece of fabric from her bow and placed it around Logan’s arm, >Rogue noticed this. > >-I don’t know about you but I think that this girl is dying for Logan. Joel: Wolverine, no! Put the claws away--no, not the jugular! Great, now there's blood all over the walls *again*... >-I think you are right. > >The Sailor Scouts, specially Neptune, were also supprised. > >-Correct me if I’m wrong but it’s Uranus the one that’s helping Wolverine ? >-Yep. Indeed he is Jupiter, Joel: [falsetto] Wait, if he's Jupiter, than who am I? For that matter, who's 'he'? And who are you?! >something tells me that they are in... > >She couldn’t finish a huge thunder was heard and a voice was heard. Joel: Gyah! Wolverine, do you mind? Tom: Of all the disgusting... somebody open a window or something! Crow: [Wolverine] I knew I was gonna regret that third order of refried beans... >-BOW TO ME ! ! ! I AM APOCALYPSE AND I WILL RULE THE WORLD ! ! ! ! Tom: [Apocalypse] BOY, IT SURE IS A GOOD THING MY ARCH-ENEMIES THE X-MEN AREN'T AROUND TO FOIL MY EVIL SCHEME! Crow: You can always tell a good villian by how loud he is. >Next chapter : A Sacrifice of love Tom: An... SOL? [pause] All: Nah. >One of the Sailor Scouts will sacrifice herself to protect a loved one, >keep checking to find out who ! ! Tom: Oh, we will... not that we have any choice in the matter. Joel: C'mon, guys, let's get out of here while we can. [Joel and the bots exit the theater.] 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... [Bridge of the SOL] [Tom is hovering in place, and seems to be concentrating on something. The others are nowhere to be found.] Tom: Well, here goes nothing... [Tom hesitates for a moment, and then throws himself forward on the ground.] *THUD* Tom: Ow! [He gets back up, takes a deep breath, and repeats the process.] *THUD* Tom: Ow! [Then he does it again.] *THUD* Tom: Ow! [And again.] *THUD* Tom: Ow! [Joel enters from the left.] Joel: Hi, Tom. Tom: Hmm? Oh, hi, Joel. *THUD* Tom: Ow! Joel: I just know I'm going to regret asking this, but... what are you doing? Tom: Oh, nothing. *THUD* Tom: Ow! Joel: Oh. Okay. *THUD* Tom: Ow! [Crow enters from the left.] Crow: Hi, guys. Tom: Hi, Crow. Joel: Hi, Crow. *THUD* Tom: Ow! Crow: Still haven't got the hang of facefaulting, huh? Tom: Oh, like *you* could do any better. Joel: That's what you're trying to do? Facefault? Tom: Well, yeah! I mean, with all the Sailor Moon I've been subjected to over the years, you'd think I'd be a natural! Joel: Look, facefaulting isn't something you can force. It has to come naturally. Tom: Yeah, I guess you're right... Joel: Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it eventually. [Commercial sign light starts to flash.] Joel: We'll be right back. Crow: Say, how do you know so much about facefaulting, anyway? Joel: Oh, I went to Japan once when I was back on Earth. Learned from this guy I met there--something-or-other Saotome. Nice guy. A little weird, though... [Commercials]