Elmer Studios presents... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Big 20! And what better way to celebrate than with another round from our good friend, Star Ruby as she unleashes another Avatar upon us. "Battle at Autobot City" is copyright 1999 by Star Ruby/Rodonia Transformers is copyright Hasbro/Kenner/Tankara or something like that. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ In the middle distant future, About 300 years from now. Three Predacons went for a ride, Into outer space.. But Galvy has a special plan, To trap them up there, man, And now they are stuck up there, With no way down. [Blackarachnia: Get me outta here!] [Galvatron singing now] I'll send them crappy transfics, The worst that I can find, [La La La] I'll force them to watch them all, And they'll go out of their minds! [La la la] [Return to original singers] Keep in mind they can't control, Where the fanfic begins or ends. [La La La] And the only way to keep sanity, Is to riff how bad fanfics can be... PREDACON ROLL CALL Cyberbee (Can't see me!) Blackarachnia (Get me outa here!) Quickstrike (Anything for you, Sugarbot!) IINNFFEERRNNOO (BUUUUUURRRRRRRNNNN!) If you are wondering how they survive, Eat, transform and other stuff. (La La La) Just repeat to yourself "It's Just a MSTing Isn't that good enough?". For Mystery Predacon Theater 3000 [Guitar Twang] [SoP Bridge. The Predacons are sitting around a table. Blackarachnia is holding a clipboard] Blackarachnia: And this brings me to item number 38 on the agenda, Escape Plans. Now I've reviewed all the escape plans that were submitted by you two and myself and have evaluated the possibility of success. Quickstrike: So let's hear them! Blackarachnia: OK.... Plan 1: Dig a tunnel back down to the planet. Very original, whoever that was. And a great plan with one teenst weensy little flaw. You can't tunnel through space. Inferno: Scratch that one. Blackarachnia: Plan two: Climb into one of the capsules we receive and fly that back to the planet. The plan was rejected on two grounds. One, they're not big enough for three of us. They're not even big enough for me unless I was in beast mode and curled up. Two, they burn up on re-entry. Inferno: I sense that this "burning up" thing will be a problem. Blackarachnia: Which brings me to plan three: Hotwire the Satellite of Predacons and try and fly it back down to the planet. Problem: We burn up and all die. Quickstrike: I knew there was a problem there. Inferno: Nice try though. Blackarachnia: Plan five had a similar theme. We hijack the satellite and fly off into space. The bigest problem: What next? Inferno: Point. Blackarachnia: Plan six had some merits. We build an orbital elevator a la "Red Mars" and ride a capsule down to the surface. Problem: We don't have enough material to build 12,000 km of super-dense cable. Inferno: That stuffs up that plan. Qicckstrike: Nice one though. Blackarachnia: Indeed. This is very depressing. I need an ad break about now. [Ad break] The camera pans over an empty AAA arena, filmed in darkened black and white. It then cuts to Adam Chris Leigh standing, arms folded, in front of a ring. He looks at the camera and says "I've whined incessantly and done nothing." The panning view over the arena returns, zooming slowly as the camera circles over. It then cuts to Eleven, his arms crossed. "I've re-written history to my benefit." The camera continues to zoom in; now the edges of the arena and the outmost seats are out of shot. Then Issei Mataloun appears as before, regarding the camera smugly. "I've changed characters sexulaities just so they'll sleep with me." The zoom becomes faster, as the seats quickly disappear beyond the edges of the screen. Then Thane is shown, dominating the screen. "I've done horrid things to the English Language." The camera zooms rapidly in on the ring from directly above, closing in until the last of the seats, the barriers and finally the turnbuckles and ropes pass off the screen. It zooms in on the mat, growing darker until the screen is nothing but a black field. Then Samantha Jones appears, looking away from the camera. She turns her head towards it, a slight smile playing across her face. "Now comes the hard part." AAA. Attitude. [Return] [The Mads light flashes] Blackarachnia: Great. Now Quincy and Mason are calling us. [She turns on the console to reveal the ever-grinning faces of Galvatron and TV's Megastorm.] Galvatron: And a very good morning to you three. Megastorm: Hey! If I'm Mason, does that mean I get to turn into Largo? Blackarachnia: Quite possibly. Megastorm: Kickass! Galvatron: Silence, fool. Megastorm: Heh... Sure thing, bro. Galvatron: So how are my little experiments today? Ready for another oh-so-fun peice of fanfic literature to blow your tiny little minds? Blackarachnia: No. Quickstrike: But yer gonna send us one anyway. Galvatron: Quite right! It's what we do after all. Blackarachnia: Indeed. And it would be a breach of tradition if you didn't make the stock ineffective threats to us. Galatron: Of course... Hey! Megastorm: They got you good there, bro. Galvatron: Megastorm, shut up before I have to hurt you. Megastorm: Shutting up, bro. Galvatron: So... that aside, what do you have for the invention exchange? Blackarachnia: Allow me to present.... The Voice-Activated Arm! [Inferno and Quickstrike wheel in a trolley with a robotic arm on it. There is also an apple, an orange, a beer can and an inflatable penguin.] Inferno: Taa-dah! Quickstrike: What do you think? Megastorm: It's umm... interesting. Galvatron: Cut to the chase. What does it do? Blackarachnia: Essentially, it does what ever you tell it to do. For example if I told it to pick up the orange, it would. [The arm picks up the orange.] Now put it doen [It does] Quickstrike: Try this. Pass me the beer. [The arm picks up the beer and passes it to Quickstrike. He takes it.] Now, open it. [The arm opens the can for him] Bet Steve Austin wishes he had one of these. Inferno: Try this. Hit Quickstrike! [The arm swings around and hits Quickstrike in the shoulder] Quickstrike: Ow! Inferno: Brilliant. Quickstrike: Hit Inferno! [The arm swings around and hits inferno in the elbow] Inferno: Hey! [Darkside 13] Galvatron: Amazing. For once you have actually managed to create a device with some potential. Megastorm: Can I have one for Christmas? Galvatron: If you're good. Megastorm: Cool! Galvatron: Anyway, our invention today makes yours seem like a piece of junk. Allow me to present: The Video Game Licencer! [Megastom wheels in the Video Game Licencer with the bowling trophy now attached upsiode-down] Blackarachnia: Um... not to burst your bubble, but isn't that what you invented last time? Galvatron: Not quite. We refined the concept. Now, instead of making crap games out of things, it makes movies out of games! It's brilliant! Megastorm: Let's give it a whirl. I'm gonna drop in a copy of "Mortal Konmbat". [He throws a CD into the hopper] I push the button [It makes various whirring noises and spits out a script at the other end. Galvatron takes it. Galvatron: Now let's see... A cast of two-bit hack actors, a pathetic script, minimalist plot, badly choreographed fight scenes, lame attempts to get in as may of the game's characters as possible and pathetic production values. Brilliant! Blackarachnia: Except they did that several years ago. Quickstrike: And it was just like you said. Galvatron: Never mind. If at first you don't succeed, throw in another game. "Street Fighter II". A classic of the genre. I throw it in... and get another script. And I get... A cast of two-bit hack actors, a pathetic script, minimalist plot, badly choreographed fight scenes, lame attempts to get in as may of the game's characters as possible and pathetic production values. Megastorm: Sounds cool. Blackarachnia: Done. Inferno: Kylie Minouge with a fake Brit accent. Yuck! Megastorm: Too bad they beat you to it, boss. Galvatron: Never mind! I'm going to throw in a copy of "Double Dragon II". I think a crap game could make for truly exceptional results! Megastorm: Let me see what we get! OK, it's got a cast of two-bit hack actors, a pathetic script, minimalist plot, badly choreographed fight scenes, lame attempts to get in as may of the game's characters as possible and pathetic production values. Inferno: Been there, seen that. Galvatron: Damn you all. [SoP] Blackarachnia: Sorry about that. Once again, Hollywood has beaten you to the prize. Galvatron: That's it! You asked for it! Today's fic is an exercise in Self- Insertion with the author having not one but two of their avatars in the same sotry! Inferno: Sounds bad. Megastorm: But get this- it's buy your old pal, Star Ruby! Blackarachnia: Dear Primus no. Inferno: She's spreading. Quickstrike: Help. Galvatron: That's right! So prepare yourselves for the wonder that is "Battle at Autobot City!" Push the button Megastorm! Megastorm: You got it bro! [He pushes the button] [Lights and sirens go off] Quickstrike: We Got Star Ruby Sign! [Door sequence!] [Door 5 - It's a Catflap. You crawl through it] [Door 4 - A garage door. You blip it with the remote, then open it manually when that fails] [Door 3 - An elevator door. You push the button and it opens] [Door 2 - A revolving door. You go round a few times then proceed] [Door 1 - A vault door. It's unlocked] [Inferno walks in, rips the back off a seat and sits down. Blackarachnia sits down next to him, and Quickstrike next to her] > Battle At Autobot City Blackarachnia: My. What a stunningly original title. > By Star Ruby/Rodania Quickstrike: Make up yer damn mind! > Authors Note: This story includes my characters I invented. Quickstrike: They're all mine you hear me, mine! > Phoenix and Blade are copy writes of my friends, MaryAnn and Fiona. Inferno: They should charge for their use. > Now on with my story. > It is the year 2050 Inferno: The place is Babylon 5. Quickstrike: Do you know where your children are? > the Autobots and Decepticons live on Cybertron. Blackarachnia: Thank you for this statement of the obvious. > They > are at war with each other because Megatron refuses to sign any Peace > Treaties with the Autobots. Blackarachnia: And he did start it all, you know. > He is power hungry as ever. Inferno [Megatron]: I'm evil, dammit, EVIL! > Optimus Prime is > the current Autobot leader and Rodimus Prime is Second in Command to Optimus. Blackarachnia: Can't be. After he gave the Maitix back to Optimus, Rodimus Prime tunred back into Hot Rod. The only way he'd turn back is if he had the Matrix, which would make him the leader. And that would only happen if Prime was dead. Again. Quickstrike: You're stating early. Blackarachnia: So's the fic. > Vilnacron: Inferno: No thanks, I'm trying to give it up. > "Star Ruby I want you and your sisters to become DeathCrystal. Blackarachnia: The Mother of all Incredibly Stroppy CyberFemmes. Inferno: Where have the spaces gotten to? > I need her to distract the Autobot giants Quickstrike [Kryten]: Excuse me, can I distract you for a moment? BLackarachnia [Arthur]: Hi, my name's Arthur and this is my distraction. Itsy bitsy spider went up the waterspout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. Itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again. Not in the face! Not in the face! > while I attempt to break into the Autobots base at Autobot City. Inferno: Use a crowbar. > Menasor, Bruticus, Devastator and Predaking will cover your back." Blackarachnia: Where's Abominus during all this? Quickstrike: You can almost see Motormaster and Onslaught sniggering in the background. Inferno: Who's speaking here? > "As you wish Lord Megatron, I listen and obey your every command. Inferno [Megatron]: Shoot yourself. Blackarachnia [Star Ruby]: Sure! BLAM. Inferno [Megatron]: Sucker. > Sisters you heard our leader merge and become DeathCrystal." Inferno: And while they're at it, could they get some punctuation? > Megatron grins Blackarachnia: Aaak! Not the grins again. > because DeathCrystal is very attractive. Quickstrike: This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Pass me the bomb. > He has a hard time controlling his hormones around her Blackarachnia: Transformers don't have hormones. Quickstrike: Dangit. > because she is doggone beautiful and deadly. Quickstrike: Doggone it! > DeathCrystal fly's out of Decepticon base, Inferno: On the 10:30 to LA with a stop-over on Gaia. > she is eager too kill Autobots that try to stop her. Inferno: Really sucks to be a blocker around here. > Megatron laughs Quickstrike [Megatron]: See ya. Suckers. > because he knows that the Aerialcons will not fail him. Blackarachnia: Famous last words. > Autobot Base: Inferno: Not the Underbase. BLackarachnia: And we should be thankful for that at least twice daily. > Rodania is on guard duty; Inferno: Enter avatar number two. > she notices the Decepticon giants Blackarachnia: This should be interesting. Let's see what happens when two avatars of the same author clash. > and sounds > the security alarm. Rodimus and the other Autobots wake up from their > recharge berths. Inferno: Isn't it always the way? You've just gotten to sleep and someone wakes you up? Quickstrike [Rodimus]: Aaak! Cold floor! > They rush to the guard station. Blackarachnia: Like redshirts to the slaughter. > "Ro, you had better have a good reason for sounding the alarm.", says Kup. Inferno [Kup]: I was watching Matlock! > "I have four words Kup. Quickstrike: No chance in hell! Blackarachnia: Bite me, old timer. Inferno: Where is the tea? > The Decepticons are attacking." Inferno [Kup]: Well that's OK then... Aaaak! > Kup orders Rodania to protect Rodimus Prime Quickstrike: [Kup]: Never liked her anyway. > and Blade is to protect Optimus Prime. Blackarachnia: She's going to play all the computer games for him. Inferno: Nice and obscure. Quickstrike [Blade]: IDKFA? BLAM! > The security Femmes obey Kup and race to protect their leaders. Blackarachnia: Since when have Autobot leaders had personal bodyguards anyway? > "Blade, it is just like the Decepticons to ruin our night.", says Rodania. Quickstrike: Take that how yer will... Blackarachnia: Bad Fuzor! Bad! Inferno: Maybe they should get together with Deathangel and Bloodstone sometime. Blackarachnia: Help me. > "I agree with you Rodania. Blackarachnia [Blade]: You're the avatar. You're always right. > I bet the Megajerk is behind this attack. Inferno: You reckon? Quickstrike: Like who else is it going to be? Cy-Kill? Blackarachnia: Don't tempt the authors. > Wait > till I get my hands on him I am going to terminate the Decepticrumb." Inferno: She's going to take all his commas and make him suffer. Quickstrike: She's been secretly selling them back to Brett Handy. > Rodania looks at her friend surprised. Quickstrike [Blade]: Here? Now? Blackarachnia: Bad. > "Blade that is not Autobot like, remember we are peace makers Inferno: Would be a bummer if they were pacemakers. > not murderers." Blackarachnia: Details, shmetails. > Blade snorts. "Remind me to carve those exact quotes on your grave stone." Blackarachnia: Imagine that... If Star Ruby had written the Gen 2 Comic book. A dark story of ultra-violence, huge firearms, dark heroes, all-consuming enigmatic life forces and lots of hugs and kisses. > Rodania fumes because Blade is nasty when she is mad. Inferno: Great. The Autobots are mean and the Decepticons are nice. > Rodania has no problem finding Rodimus Prime Quickstrike: He's hanging out at the club with the boys. > he is busy preparing for battle. Inferno: He drinks a full six pack and listens to Rush Limburgh. Then he's ready to kill. > "Rodimus Prime what are you doing?" All: Preparing for battle! > Rodimus looks up at his girlfriend and > answers, "I am preparing myself for battle. All: See! > It is my duty as Second In Command to Inferno: Put on lots of weight and grow a beard. Blackarachnia: And stand with your feet over two feet apart and walk like you're butting down an invisible wall when you walk. Quickstrike: And get a girl every few episodes for no apparent reason. > protect the innocents from harm." Blackarachnia: Actually, that's what the Protectobots do. > Rodania sighs because Rodimus > Prime is right. Rodania and Rodimus Prime transform and roll out. > DeathCrystal smashes a few Autobot guard posts Quickstrike: Talk about your temper tantrums. > before the Autobot giants show up. Inferno: It takes them forever to get there. Kind of like Goldberg really. > DeathCrystal smiles at Defensor, Computron and Superion. She decides to > flirt with them. Blackarachnia: Like that would work. Defensor is too dedicated to fall for that, Coputron too smart and Superion would be too busy fighting with himself. > Megatron laughs evilly because his distraction is working. Inferno: If he starts grinning again, I'll scream. > Megatron enters Autobot Base. Quickstrike: They left the spare key under the doormat. So much for security. > Blade and Phoenix are ready for him they open > fire on the Decepticon Leader. Inferno: And his run-on sentences. > Megatron smiles wickedly at the femmes. Quickstrike [Megatron]: Target practice. > He fires his fusion cannon at the ladies. Blackarachnia: Can he be in his ultra-violent movie mode? Please? > Phoenix and Blade avoid the blast and take cover. Blackarachnia: Ah nutbunnies. Quickstrike: Nutbunnies sugarbot? Blackarachnia: Help. > Megatron snorts Inferno: He's doing drugs now? Blackarachnia: See what these fics have reduced him to? > because he missed his target. > Megatron spots Rodimus Prime and shoots him. Blackarachnia: Oh well, I guess any target will do. > The Autobot Second falls due to the impact of the fusion cannon blast. All: TOGG! > Rodania screams because her boyfriend got shot by the Megacreep. QUickstrike: Very observant! You get a cookie! > Rodania transforms into her deadliest mode Inferno: A lime-green Trabant. > the Fiery Phoenix. Blackarachnia: Now it's crossing over into "Battle of the Planets". Help me. > Megatron groans because he knows that Quickstrike: His shares are going down. > Rodania can burn him pretty good. Blackarachnia: So, instead of groaning, why not try shooting her? > He comes up with a tactic to wear her out. Inferno: He's going to force her to read a Chris Jones fanfic marathon. > He knows that she is prone to overheating. Quickstrike: She needs double heat sinks. > Rodania cannot remain a Fiery Phoenix for very long Blackarachnia: Then the heating bill turns up. > because the energy demand in that mode is high. Inferno: Just like an American-made car, really. > Megatron retreats into the open and Rodania is in hot on his tail. Quickstrike [Lister]: Change of plan! Leg it! > "DeathCrystal destroy the Fiery Phoenix." DeathCrystal obeys her leader. She > attacks Rodania. Inferno [Megatron]: Sucker. Blackarachnia [Rodonia]: Slag. What now? > The Autobot femme is not afraid of DeathCrystal Quickstrike: Maybe she's just taken one too many hits to the head. Blackarachnia: Well, she's an avatar. Why would she? Inferno: Because DeathCrystal is an Avatar too. Blackarachnia: Point. > she breathes fire on the giant. Inferno: Guess who had garlic for dinner. > DeathCrystal screams because Rodania's fire is hot. All: No! > Star Ruby orders her troops to disengage and attack. Blackarachnia: Why? As a Gestalt they would have more strength and firepower and be extremely durable. > Rodania burns out very quickly. Blackarachnia: And spends the rest of her career doing bit parts in direct-to- video Sci-fi stinkers. > She returns to her true vehicular mode and retreats back to Autobot Base. All: Run away! > She needs to recharge before attacking again. Nixie All: Nixie?! Blackarachnia: That should be a capital offence. > covers her sisters back while Rodania is entering the city. Rodania > and Phoenix are sisters. Inferno: That's really relevant now. Why not mention that earlier? > Rodania goes to her lover. Quickstrike: Blade? Blackarachnia: Careful there. You're on the verge of a major slagging. > "Rodimus Prime are you feeling any better now?" Inferno [Rodimus]: I'm not dead yet. I'm getting better. I don't want to go on the cart. Blackarachnia: If Echowarrior was here he'd have quietly offed Rodimus by now to get his job. > Rodimus Prime stands up he wobbles because his leg is injured. Quickstrike: Actually, that's the booze talking. > Rodimus leans against Rodania for support. > "Ro, what hit me? I feel lousy at the moment." Rodania hugs Rodimus. "Megatron > shot you my love." Blackarachnia: And the 1999 award for statement of the blatantly obvious goes to Rodonia! > Rodimus groans because Megatron's blasts are indeed hazardous to ones health. All: NAW! > Blade sneaks up on Megatron, she plans to harm him. Inferno: I would have never guessed. > Star Ruby null rays the Autobot for sneaking up on her mate. Inferno: She must be real fun at surprise parties. > Megatron winks at Star Ruby. She nods > her head at her mate. Blackarachnia: I loose my lunch. Quickstrike: Actually, suagarbot, we don't do that. Inferno: Ouch. Got with your own riff. Blackarachnia: ... > Star Ruby and Megatron enter the Autobot Base. Inferno: They used the side door. > Rodania is ready for them. She opens fire at Star Ruby since the seeker > is responsible for harming Blade. Blackarachnia: Actually, wouldn't it be smarter to open fire on Megatron first? He is the most obviously powerful of the two. > Star Ruby collapses an her back badly injured. Inferno: She probably screamed and twisted her ankle too. > Megatron snarls at Rodania, "Autobot, you shall pay for harming my > mate. I will terminate you the next time we meet." > Megatron picks Star Ruby up and leaves the Autobot Base. Blackarachnia: That's it? One of his troops get injured and he runs away? That's as OOC as... Inferno: Caring for his mate? Quickstrike: Being a loving father? Blackarachnia: Never mind. > Rodania sighs > with relief because Megatron did not shoot her. Quickstrike: More's the pity. > She never knew that the > Decepticon Leader cared so much for his own Decepticons. Blackarachnia: He doesn't! > She never knew that Megatron had a mate. Inferno: She doesn't read these fics then. > Rodania hears Megatron's two famous words. Inferno: Up yours. Quickstrike: Bite me. BLackarachnia: Bogflop Boundry. > "Decepticons retreat." Rodania laughs because the Decepticons are leaving. Quickstrike: Never mind all the danger you guys were in. Or that your best friend and mate were injured. Blackarachnia: Say, where were the other Decepticon Gestalts during all this? > Rodimus Prime wonders why his girlfriend is laughing. Inferno: The drugs are taking effect. > "Ro, what is so funny?" Rodania grins at her boyfriend. "Roddy, All: Roddy? Blackarachnia: Now that *is* a capital offence. > Megatron > and his Deceptigoons retreated." Rodimus Prime and Rodania go to see First > Aid since they need minor repairs. Blackarachnia: Oh, so a fusion cannon wound is a *minor* injury then? > Vilnacron: > "Hook will Ruby be alright?" Megatron looks at Star Ruby with concern in > his optics. Inferno [Megatron]: Please say no. Please please please say no. > "She will be alright Megatron Inferno [Megatron]: Damn. Quickstrike [Hook]: What was that? Inferno [Megatron]: Er... damn those Autobots. Damn them. > she only has a minor injury." Inferno: A shoulder injuy. Blackarachnia [Hits him on the back of the head]: Don't go there. > Megatron sighs > with relief because his mate is going to live. Blackarachnia: More's the pity. > Megatron retires to his office to plan a new attack strategy. He will never > give up attacking his enemies. Inferno: And we will never give up riffing these fics. > THE END > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > If you liked "Battle At Autobot City" by Star Ruby, Blackarachnia: You probably had a fusion cannon pointed at your head. > e-mail her. > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Back [They all get up and leave] [Door 1 - A vault door. It's unlocked] [Door 2 - A revolving door. You go round a few times then proceed] [Door 3 - An elevator door. You push the button and it opens] [Door 4 - A garage door. You blip it with the remote, then open it manually when that fails] [Door 5 - It's a Catflap. You crawl through it] [SoP Bridge. There is a letter attached to the screen. The three Predacons enter] Blackarachnia: Mercifully, that one was short. I dread the thought of what would have happened if it was any longer. Quickstrike: I had wanted more action sequences in her fics. Now I realise why their absence was a good thing. Inferno: And what's with everyone! They were acting even dumber than usual! Blackarachnia: Save if for the mads. In the meantime we've got a letter from Mitch [She takes the letter and opens it] Quickstrike: What's he on about? Blackarachnia: This is on "Return to Cybertron". He said: > To the Predacons, > Ba Weep Gra Na Weep Ni Ni Bong. Inferno: And a great big Ba Weep Gra Na Weep Ni Ni Bong to you too! > This is Mitch. The thoughts you > revealed after "Return to Cybertron" pretty much reflected my own > feelings. Quickstrike: We feel for you. > A couple of things I'd like to point out: Cybertron -is- in > the Alpha Centari system, as was indicated in the first issue of the > American Transformer comic. Blackarachnia: This is true. However, in the comic, it was also stated that Cybetron now freely wanders the universe. Also, the Cybertron star system shown in "the Agenda" had only one sun; Alpha Centauri is a bianry star system. > Also, in the cartoon, the original > Silverbolt -did- have a fear of hights. This was because, in cartoon > continunity, the Arialbots were regular machines on Cybertron that were > rebult as Transformers and given sentient life. I always thought his > fear of heights made Silverbolt interesting...that is if you ignore that > his fear, coming from being a land based unit on Cybertron, doesn't make > sense since he shouldn't -remember- what he was like -before- he was > sentient. > Anyway, you did a great job, even if the Mads will take your memories > of it away, in which they probably will. (Don't feel bad, it will do > worse for continunity and your sanity if you -do- remember that fic). > Good luck with "Dinobot's Old Technology". Remember, Joel and the 'bots > conquered that fic, so you can too. > 'Till are all one. All: BLAM! > Mitch Blackarachnia: Thanks again, Mitch. It's good to see that our pain can be appreciated. [The Mads light flashes] Inferno: Great. And now Boulder and Marbles are calling us. [He switches on the console. Galvatron and Megastom appear, grinning as ever] Galvatron: Greetings, worms. Quickstrike: Straight back at you. Blackarachnia: I suppose you want to know what we thought of the fic, right? Galvatron: Silence! Cease this inane bantering and just tell me how your minds have fared under the withering effects of this piece! Blackarachnia: Thought as much. Megastorm: Um... so what did you think of it? Blackarachnia: I must give you credit where credit is due. Star Ruby has been a perinnial pain to us and she does not improve with age. The addition of a second avatar to the mix made for a potentially interesting counterpoint to Star Ruby's usual level of inanity until one realises that the second avatar is little more than the original creation relabelled and presented in a new format. The addition of action sequences was unusual for this genre. However, they showed how the author is Alien to the concept by their clumsy execution. All in all, I say that it was an interesting effort on your part by choosing this fic. However, it was ultimately unsuccessful. [Long pause] Galvatron: And, uh, what did you two think of it? Quickstrike & Inferno: What she said. Galvatron: Well... good. Megastorm: What'd she say? Galvatron: Don't worry about it. And push the button. Megastorm: Pushing the button. [He pushes the button] [The screen goes black] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Editor's notes. Wow. I have come to realise that Star Ruby is something of a relief after the likes of Chris Jones or WARenfeld. It's nice to break to as piece of light fluff after some of the heavy wrongess of those two and their ilk. Thanks to Andrew Pollard and Richard Speyer for the Voice Activated Arm. It was their idea. Next time: He's from the future, and he knows everything! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Riffed by: Rick R. Mortis (rickr@one.net.au) Blackarachnia, Inferno and Quickstrike are copyright 1996-1999 Hasbro/Kenner. Galvatron and Megastorm are copyright 1998-1999 Tankara. Elmer Studios!: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/2628/elmer.htm All of Elmer Studios' MSTings, artwork, character profiles, AAA conversions and the Satellite of Predacons in one spot. Rick's Mecha Madness Page: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/7194/index.htm AntiKevs, Mekton Z conversions, fanfic drinking game, the one and only Common Sense Timeline, crazy Fighters' Anthology .lib and missions, and Utterly Disturbing Nova Satori Shrine. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Rodimus groans because Megatron's blasts are indeed hazardous to ones health.