Elmer Studios presents... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ SoP MSTing Number 13! Still on Beast Wars and still being menaced by the Two Guys from Gobotron. And now time for another (!!!) Beast Wars SI... "Blazing Energon" is copyright 1999 by SnowBlaze Beast Wars is copyright Hasbro/Kenner/Tankara or something like that. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ In the middle distant future, About 300 years from now. Three Preadacons went for a ride, Into outer space.. But Galvy has a special plan, To trap them up there, man, And now they are stuck up there, With no way down. [Blackarachnia: Get me outta here!] [Galvatron singing now] I'll send them crappy transfics, The worst that I can find, [La La La] I'll force them to watch them all, And they'll go out of their minds! [La la la] [Return to original singers] Keep in mind they can't control, Where the fanfic begins or ends. [La La La] And the only way to keep sanity, Is to riff how bad fanfics can be... PREDACON ROLL CALL Cyberbee (Can't see me!) Blackarachnia (Get me outa here!) Quickstrike (Anything for you, Sugarbot!) IINNFFEERRNNOO (BUUUUUURRRRRRRNNNN!) If you are wondering how they survive, Eat, transform and other stuff. (La La La) Just repeat to yourself "It's Just a MSTing Isn't that good enough?". For Mystery Preadacon Theater 3000 [Guitar Twang] [SoP Bridge. Blackarachnia is standing in front of the console] Blackarachnia: Greetings. Today, we have a special event for you. The Satellite of Preadacons historical society is going to re-enact the downfall of the Ming Dynasty. Quickstrike will be playing a typical oppressed peasant who is rising up against the government. Inferno will be playing one of the Emperor's best swordsmen. [Inferno enters from one side waring a headband and carrying a broom] Inferno: What? Is this rebellion? It is! Kill! [Quickstrike enters from the other side. He is also wearing a headband and carrying a mop] Quickstrike: I'll chop your fats out, don't you believe it! [He charges at Inferno] Inferno: You daring lousy guy! [He charges at Quickstrike. the two of them fight with their "weapons"] Quickstrike: Get out you smurk! Inferno: You're stain! Quickstrike: Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected! [He hits Inferno on the head] Inferno: Damn you, stink man! [Swipes at Quickstrike and misses.] Quickstrike: A toad is no match for a swan! Inferno: Youngster, your brain is useless I guess! Quickstrike: You bastard! Try this melon! [He fake kills Inferno, who falls to the ground] Inferno: How can you use my intestines as a gift? Blackarachnia: Well... that wasn't quite how we practiced it, but you did pretty well there, guys. [Inferno gets up and takes off his headband] Inferno: Thanks. Quickstrike: And thanks for the help with the dialogue, buddy. Inferno: No probs! [The Gobot's light flashes] Blackarachnia: Whatever. Antagony and Vice Grip are calling us. [She turns on the console. A purple robot, resembling a female version of Inferno and a smaller black and blue robot appear. They are, well, Antagony and Vice Grip. The are in some form of subterranean lab] [Long pause] Antagony: Sorry. Wrong number. [Pause] Push the button, Vice Grip. Vice Grip: right. [He pushes the button.] [The console screen goes blank] Quickstrike: Um. Inferno: Well. Blackarachnia: Yes. [Ads. Torgo action figures] [SoP Bridge. The three Preadacons are staring at the console.] Inferno: I still don't get it. Quickstrike: Don't think about it. Blackarachnia: I do wonder who they're annoying. [The Gobot's light flashes] Blackarachnia: Now they're calling. I hope. [She turns on the console. The ever-grinning Cy-Kill and the ever-one-armed Coptur appear.] Quickstrike [Muttered]: He is big head man. He is lousing around. Cy-Kill: Greetings, Worms. Inferno: Good to know we're appreciated. Cy-Kill: And how are you today? Ready for another fun stay in Fanfic Hell? Ready for the latest little text nightmare that I have for you freshly picked from the Internet's fanfic vine? Ready for the next piece of badly- typed torture coming to you live from the realm of Transficdom? [Thruster 13] Coptur: Nice metaphors there boss. Cy-Kill: No, I think that they are Similes. Coptur: They're Metaphors, I'm sure of it. Cy-Kill: Whatever. Now where was I? [SoP Bridge. The three Preadacons look at each other in a nervous state.] Cy-Kill: Oh yes. The invention exchange. Now what do you have for us today? Inferno: The Zod Alarm! Cy-Kill: Zod Alarm? Quickstrike: Yeah! Y'see, the Zod Detector only works when yer out lookin' for one. The Zod Alarm lets yer know when they're sneakin around the place. Cy-Kill: And how does this Zod Alarm work? Blackarachnia: Allow me to demonstrate with this scale model. [She walks over to the desk where there is a toy Zod]. This is a working model of the Zod Alerm. [She holds up a sheet of plastic bubble wrap.] You place the alarm where you think the Zod is likely to pass. Then, when the Zod passes over it, the bubbles burst making a popping noise that alerts you to its presence. Inferno: Genius. Quickstrike: She amazes me. [Long pause. They all grin nervously] Quickstrike [Quietly]: No way. I think we may have pushed our luck a little too far this time. [Thruster 13] Cy-Kill: A million curses on you all! Yopu have pushed us to the brink of extiction and now you do everything in your power to remove what little we have! That device is too perfect! Thanks to you, Zod has been rendered useless! But what I've got for you will blow your minds! [Coptur walks in with both arms attached carrying a bunch of hideous looking action figures. He puts them down, along with his left arm, on the table] Cy-Kill: What do you think of these little beauties? Blackarachnia: they're.... um... Nice. Inferno: What the slag are they? Cy-Kill: My latest act of genius. These little pests are action figures from popular comics! The comics are so well liked that everyone will run out and buy these hideously overpriced, limited production run figures, and become obsessed with finding all the ultra-rare limited run ones. Coptur: Oh! And don't forget the colour variations between batches! Cy-Kill: Exactly! And while humanity is too busy with these things, we shall take over and use Earth's resources to further our plan of revenge! Blackarachnia: But surely they'll cost a lot to produce. Coptur: Nope. Cy-Kill: You see, we keep down the production costs by leaving each of them with next to no poseaibility or play value! The joke is that they are paying for overpriced immobile plastic lumps! [Extreme close-up] It's brilliant in it's evilness! We shall reign supreme! [Maniacal laughter] Coptur: Pretty cool. [SoP Bridge] Quickstrike: Er... I think I should point out that Todd McFairlaine has been doing just that for years. And he's yet to conquer the world. Blackarachnia: And no-one reads comic books anyway. Transformers Gen 2 proved that. Inferno: Fourth wall! Blackarachnia: Sorry. But my point stands. Cy-Kill: Curse you! Curse you all! Curse every last Transformer in the cosmos! I try to get my revenge but you always get the better of me! Blackarachnia: Face it. You haven't had a single good plan since you lost your Plot Contrivance Crystal. Cy-Kill: That does it! I'm going to put you straight into the fic! And this week it's another Beast Wars fanfic! I hope you enjoy it... NOT! [Laughs maniacally with extreme close up] Push the button, Coptur! Coptur: Pushing the button! [He pushes the button] Blackarachnia: We got Transfic Sign! [They run around panicking] [Door sequence!] [Door 5 - It's a Catflap. You crawl through it] [Door 4 - A garage door. You blip it with the remote, then open it manually when that fails] [Door 3 - An elevator door. You push the button and it opens] [Door 2 - A revolving door. You go round a few times then proceed] [Door 1 - A vault door. It's unlocked] [Inferno walks in, rips the back off a seat and sits down. Blackarachnia sits down next to him, and Quickstrike next to her] > BLAZING ENERGON > By SnowBlaze > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Author's notes: SnowBlaze is my own copyrighted character. A really awesome > character, Slasher Red was created by Slasher Red and is her copyright. Quickstrike: Slasher? Awesome? Is this person on drugs? Blackarachnia: This does not bode at all well. > I > also want to say that some the characters in this plot line also are based > on past stories written by Wes Witten, Inferno: Him! The enemy of the royalty shal BURN!!!!! [Pulls out flamethrower] Blackarachnia: Er... That's Wes Witton, not Will Wheaton. Inferno: Oh. [Puts flamer away]. My mistake. > who I give recognition for. All TF, > BW and anything associated with it are copyrights of Hasbro, Kenner,Takara, > Alliance, Mainframe etc. This story is for entertainment only! So please > don't sue me, you won't get a whole lot anyway. Inferno: Go on. You know you want to. > I've been dying to get this story out of my head! I hope that you enjoy > this fanfic and I dedicate it to Springer and Slasher Red, who both helped > me get started. Enjoy! Quickstrike: Just adding to their list of crimes... > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > "Power cells are down 50%, Big Bot! Blackarachnia: You need to switch battery brands. > The base is losing major power, soon > there won't be enough to power the scanners." Quickstrike: It's probably Cheetor's stereo what's doing it. Blackarachnia: Never mind that the Axalon seems to have limitless power... > Cheetor was with Optimus > Primal in the Core of the Axalon. Optimus shook his head in disbelief. Inferno [Primal]: I signed for how many of these things? > "The base hasn't been this low on power ever. We need to gather more > energon. Quickstrike: Brilliant deduction there. > Both of them were in beast mode overlooking the energon levels > of power in the Axalon. "What can I do for ya?" Cheetor waved his tail > and grinned at Primal. "Nothing for now Cheetor, you have the night off." Blackarachnia: How about finding him something to do instead. Like, say, finding more energon to fix your power problem? > Running off for joy, Cheetor left Optimus with the Core. Quickstrike [Cheetor]: Allright! I'm off to hang around at the mall! Inferno: Mallcats. > As he ran through the barrack halls Cheetor ran into Rhinox and Rattrap. Inferno: That would hurt! > "What are you doing now Spots?" Rattrap asked the cat. "Probably, going > off for a hunt, I'm gonna go ask Tigatron and Snowstalker if they'll come > with me. Blackarachnia [Cheetor]: We're gonna hunt run-on sentances. Wanna come! > Optimus gave me the rest of the night off." Cheetor panted out. > "I only see one problem with that pussycat, Tigatron along with Polar Claw Blackarachnia: Him again? Don't tell me EchoWarrior's around here too... > went out on a scouting patrol to the arctic outpost." Rattrap was > in robot mode and was repairing the damaged circuitry in the wall of the > corridor. Quickstrike: When'd that happen? Inferno: Dinobot was playing with his food again. > "I think Snowstalker is saying home huh?" Blackarachnia: Pardon me, but why would she be in the Maximal base... Oh never mind. > Cheetor asked. "Well since I'm a betting rat, Oh yeah." All: Uh? > "What about Dinobot and Slasher Red?" Inferno: Dinobot was last seen entering Slasher's room with a bottle of Ketchup. Blackarachnia: That was dark. But fun. > "You can go and get yourself slagged by the chopper faces if ya want to > but they're not in the best of moods." Blackarachnia: I guess Dinobot saw how many of these things he signed for too. Quickstrike: So that's why he threw his life away so willingly. Blackarachnia: When was that? Quickstrike: I don't know. Inferno: If you two would lay off the fourth wall these things wouldn't happen. And leave the dark lines to me! > Cheetor ignored Rattrap and passed Rhinox Blackarachnia: Don't you hate it when slow guys hog up the passing lane? > as he sped down the hall for Dinobot and Slasher Red's quarters. Quickstrike: Right near the Brek's room. And Cambry's. And Echowarrior's. And... Blackarachnia: We get the point. > The two raptors were enjoying the others company as they both slept on > the floor together. Blackarachnia: Thankyou. We did *not* need that. Quickstrike: He's probably chasing bunnies in his dreams. Inferno: And gruesomely disembowelling them. Quickstrike: He could be chasing Slasher... Blackarachnia: Forget it. You two are hopeless. > Now let me warn all, never and I mean never interrupt > a raptor's sleep unless you have a damn good reason. Blackarachnia: Like, say, getting them to go out and find some more Energon? > While they both > slept peacefully, a knock on the door awoke both of them and Dinobot got > up to open it. Quickstrike: Eugh. Morning face. > Damn he was not too happy. Inferno [Dinobot]: Damn you, stink man! > "Hiya Dinobot 'Red do you want > to go out hunting?" Dinobot was about to make the cheetah occupy several > recycling bins Inferno & Quickstrike: Do it! Do it! > when Slasher Red spoke up. "Dinobot calm down. I know how > you feel, but something about this intrigues me. Quickstrike: The lack of plot? > Why do you not go with > Tigatron feline?" Quickstrike [Cheetor]: But I'm not that kind of bot! [Blackarachnia whaks him hard on the back of his head] Blackarachnia: And that's enough of that! Inferno: [Opens mouth but Blackarachnia glares at him] Blackarachnia: And the first one to make a comment about the Japansese version of Airazor gets it! > Her voice was stern and fierce. Dinobot shivered at > her words with pleasure. > "Tigatron is on a scouting patrol to the arctic outpost. Quickstrike: Maximal Artic Division. Free beer and chicken. > I think since no > one else will go out hunting with me I'll join him and Polar Claw up > there. Blackarachnia [Cheetor]: And sit around on the couch, drink beer, watch the football... Guy stuff. > I'm blowing this joint." With that Cheetor left for the outside. > Leaving the raptors in beast mode to themselves. "Dinobot, go back to > recharge you need it, I have to go out, you don't mind do you?" Blackarachnia: I dunno. Run-ons get him angry pretty quickly. > The red female Utah raptor gazed in his eyes, Inferno: You are getting very sleepy... Quickstrike: The fic's doing if for you... > he hadn't had a decent night of > recharge in 2 weeks. Quickstrike: See my earlier point regarding Cheetor and his stereo. > " All right Red, but I hope where you are going has > the smell of battle to it." Inferno: Preferably aimed at her. Blackarachnia: Reaching our quota of Dark riffs early, are we? > She moved her tail along his snout and said Blackarachnia [Slasher]: Does it bug you when I do this? > "I love you Dinobot" "Battle on my Red." Quickstrike: Be still my churning stomach. > With that Dinobot slipped into recharge as Slasher Red left her lover. > Cheetor kept running to the northern Delta sector . All: Run Forrest, run! > Tigatron and Polar Claw were certainly at the arctic out post. Inferno: Last good beer for 200 miles. > It was still 100 clicks away > from Cheetor. He increased his speed Quickstrike: To get away from the traffic cops. > and a familiar site soon came around him, Blackarachnia: The wreckage of the English language? He's be used to that by now. > the standing stones. Or what was left of them, when they had battled > the Preds here once before most of the stones were destroyed or fell over. Inferno: Damn enigmatic alien monuments. They don't make 'em like they used to. > Cheetor soon became tired, he stopped and jumped up on top of a collapsed > stone. Quickstrike: Talk about your one-star motels. > Sitting down, he observed the area in the darkness of the night. Inferno [Cheetor]: Yup. It's dark. > The moon was bright this night, looking at some of the rocks, Cheetor saw > an inscription. Blackarachnia: Hmm... "Plot Here. Pay Attention" > It had been in the alien symbols seen before. Inferno: The ingredients for the "Special Sauce". > Surprised Cheetor decided to tell the base of his discovery. > [Maximal base, this is Cheetor] It took a few minutes but the energon > interference ended and Optimus answered the comlink [Primal here, tell me > what's up] Quickstrike [Cheetor]: I think I found the plot! > [Big Bot! I found an alien inscription in the standing stones, > it was on the bottom of a collapsed stone. From what I can tell it tells > of how to get to a cave. Blackarachnia: Hey! Since when has he been able to read Indecipherable Enigmantic Alien Symbols? > It must be an important one to write about it.] Quickstrike: It probably leads to a stock AD&D Dungeon. Inferno: Look for the big "Cave over here" sign. > [Hmm Prime. Very well Cheetor I understand what you are implying to do. Blackarachnia: But can you understand what you just said? > I am sending you to go to that cave and report. Quickstrike: "Sending you to go to that cave..." Just making the point clear, huh? > I'll have Rattrap and Slasher Red All: Aw no! Inferno: Couldn't we go without her? Blackarachnia: And how about sending someone a might faster, like, say, Airazor? > follow up on your position. Primal out.] > Cheetor jumped down and started running toward > the cave. Slasher Red Was out in the field Quickstrike: Admiring the crop circles, huh? Blackarachnia: Whatever. But if a spaceship swoops down and zaps her with a yellow beam and spits out a horde of funny-coloured Maximals, I'm outta here. > when Primal had contacted her, > she acknowledged his commands and headed for Cheetor's coordinates, she > had been following him anyway. Blackarachnia: I'm not going to ask why. [Looks at Inferno] And no, I don't want to know why from you either. > Rattrap started on his way out toward where Cheetor was. Quickstrike: Wow. He's gonna be there in a flash. Not. > "Holy Cat's Meow!" Cheetor gazed in awe at the huge mountain before him. > The cave was inside of it. Inferno: They usually are. > He decided to wait for reinforcements, surely > he didn't want to get stuck in a cave by himself if trouble happened. Blackarachnia: Especially if Larry DiTillo is writing this one. Inferno: Hey! Blackarachnia: Sorry. > Rattrap was about 20 minutes away from Cheetor. > "Maximal energy signatures detected." The Predacon computer warned. Blackarachnia [Computer]: Warning. Scene change approaching. > Megatron looked at the scanning screens Quickstrike [Megatron]: Ahh! RAW is on. > and saw the three Maximal > signatures. The two heading for the still one were interesting, Inferno: More so than this fic. > this > meant something of importance was where the still energy signature was. Blackarachnia: Might even be the plot. > "Waspinator, Terrorsaur, Inferno! Fly over to grid Delta and destroy > those Maximals! Quickstrike [Megatron]: And get me some milk. Someone drank it all. > If you find anything we can use that they are using > bring it back. Now Go!" The three flyers dispatched from the Dark Side, > on their way toward Cheetor too. Blackarachnia: Is it just me, or is there a pattern forming to these Beast Wars fics? > When Rattrap caught up with Cheetor, 20 minutes had past. Slasher Red > was no where in sight. Quickstrike: She went to the Ryoga Hibiki school of land navigation. > Then the two were swarmed with laser and photon blasts. Blackarachnia: When disco lighting goes too far. Inferno: Suddenly, without so much as a warning or even an establishing shot... > The Predacons had arrived, all three in robot mode. Inferno: It's the oppressive forces of the Ching Government! Quickstrike: Or whatever. Inferno: Posing up a storm! Blackarachnia: You two... > Waspinator started to ram into Rattrap, Blackarachnia: Yeah. He's gonna achieve a lot that way. > when he was pounced on by Slasher Red. Quickstrike: I can see where this is going... > "Slasher Red, Maximize!" She went into battle mode and the other two > followed her lead, "Rattrap, Maximize!" "Cheetor, Maximize!" The two > started firing at the sky at Inferno and Terrorsaur. Slasher Red aimed > her optics at Waspinator. Her optic lasers blew his head right off into > slag, while melting it said "Oh Nooo, Waspinator...in......trouble...." Blackarachnia: And Waspinator has been slagged for this episode! We can all go home now. Waspinator [V/O]: Not fair. Thizzz allwayzz happenzz to Wazzzpinator... > That put him out of the way. "Let's haul tail over to the cave!" Cheetor > cried out. The three Maximals ran into the cave. Inferno: What a truly amazing development. > The Preds were on their > tails, going deeper into the caverns they all soon stopped when they saw > something truly awesome. Blackarachnia: The plot device? Quickstrike: The plot? Inferno: Punctuation? > Before all of them was RED ENERGON! Inferno: With that great cherry taste! > Mainly energon was blue, and never flaming red. Quickstrike: And never, ever hot pink. > Around this giant crystal was regular energon, the blue kind, > it was unstable, all of the robots would soon be in stasis lock. Blackarachnia: I don't know what's worse. The run-ons or the need to explain everything twice. > Cheetor > and the others reverted back to beast mode and soon they faced their > enemy. Wisely Terrorsaur reverted to beast mode while Inferno remained > in robot mode. "My queen has ordered Quickstrike [Inferno]: A super supreme, and I must get it there in under 30 minutes! > your destruction, I will not be the > one to explain failure to him. Burn in the fires of Inferno Maximals!" Inferno: I like this guy... > With that the fire ant fired out a flame setting the unstable energon to > explode while the red energon caught fire and never detonated. Blackarachnia: Um... did any of that make sense to either of you? > Inferno went into stasis lock. > The blast caused the mountainside to have a rockslide. While this occurred > a stasis pod was uncovered. Blackarachnia: Convenient that. Of course, I must wonder why no-one had detected it's coming down and how it got buried... > Still intact and on-line the pod immediately > started DNA scanning replication. Quickstrike: Wouldn't it be a laugh if it got something stupid like a slug or something like that? > A beast form had been selected by the > protoform, but before the total sequence was finished a small malfunction > in the circuitry happened, the second choice animal was fused with the > prime animal. Blackarachnia: This could be hilarious, or just a SI giving themselves extra powers. I'll go with option B. > The prime one was more dominate that the second animal > choice and only one trait came out of it on to the new Maximal. > She emerged, her protoform made her into a new Maximal. Her identity > circuits came on line and she remember who she was. Quickstrike: One of the wives of Manos! > The new maximal was > a snow leopard, the only thing different about her beast form was she > had Inferno: Frog legs? Blackarachnia: a turtle's shell? Quickstrike: A baboon's big red butt? No offence, Inferno. > fused eagle wings. Blackarachnia: But with no tail feathers I'd love to see her steer. > Stretching her wings to their wingspan, Blackarachnia: Well, yes. > the snow > leopard looked down the slope of the mountain to see two Predacons > racing out of the cave. Quickstrike: Someone let rip in there. Blackarachnia: Never, ever, ever mention that episode again, got it. Quickstrike: Uh... yeah. Sure thing, Sugarbot. > Cheetor and Rattrap chased after them guns firing. Inferno: Bump him dead! > Slasher Red was > curious to find out what happened on the mountain slope. Blackarachnia: Say... what is she actually doing around here anyway? > As she looked > up she saw the snow leopard gazing at her with eagle wings? Quickstrike: So... It's looking at her with it's wings? Help? > It's a new > protoform! Slasher Red went up to her, the snow leopard didn't attack > her. Inferno: Go on. You know you want to. > "My name is Slasher Red. You are a new Maximal, I assume?" "Indeed, > my need to go into battle is strong. Quickstrike: Better cut down on that caffeine. Blackarachnia: Never mind that given that her protoform was made on Cyber- tron she wouldn't even know that the Maximals and Preadacons were fighting. But never mind. > My name is SnowBlaze." Blackarachnia: And enter what appears to be yet another horrbily Star Ruby-esque self insertion. I'm thrilled. > "Now you're talking! Slasher Red, Maximize!" "SnowBlaze, Maximize!" The > two femmes transformed to robot battle mode. SnowBlaze was a dark blue > and silver colour, she was very beautiful in robot form. Blackarachnia: You can really tell this was inspired by Star Ruby, can't you? > Slasher Red made her way down the mountain slope, Inferno: Bungeeeeeee! > while SnowBlaze spread > her wings and took to the air going after Terrorsaur. Inferno came out of > stasis lock and was back on line. Blackarachnia: What? Just like that? > Cheetor kept firing at Terrorsaur in > the sky but he dodged most of the shots, that's when Cheetor saw SnowBlaze > in the air use her photon claw blaster at him, the laser beam shots giving > him a major hit. Quickstrike: Perfect marksmanship, of course. Inferno: Of course. Blackararachnia: forget the gun! She could do him a major injury with that run -on! > Falling to the ground he still fought. Swooping down in > robot form she reverted to beast mode and with one slap from her paw, Inferno: The bitch-slap of doom! > her > claws dug into his head, letting a burst of energon to leave him. All: Huh?! > Rattrap > fired at Inferno. The fire ant started up his flame gun, Rattrap got in > the way and fell back to the ground with the hit on him. Blackarachnia: Notice also how the non-SI characters can't do anything for themselves. It took Slasher to slag Waspy and Snow to take out Terrorsaur. > Inferno was out > numbered, he picked up Terrorsaur along with Waspinator Inferno: I'll need a spatula for that one! > and flied back to > the Dark Side , the queen wouldn't be too happy with them. > "Rattrap, are you still functional?" Cheetor asked the rat. Quickstrike [Rattrap]: It only hurts when I talk. Inferno: He must be in constant pain. > "Beast mode." Is all he said and reverted to his rat form. Blackarachnia: Wolf Hawkins's long lost brother. > The others decided to go > back to beast mode too. When SnowBlaze reverted to her winged snow leopard > form, Cheetor blinked his optics with admiration. gorgeous!> Blackarachnia: Wow. I'm beginning to think that SnowBlaze IS Star Ruby under yet another pseudonym. > "So what's your name?" He asked her. "SnowBlaze, Quickstrike [SnowBlaze]: Just check the credit on the top of this fic. > I hope the Maximals can use my talents." Inferno: They could allways use more target practice. Quickstrike [SnowBlaze]: Why do I have to put on this Waspinator costume? > "Oh believe me, after you gave Terrorsaur > such a close shave, I feel you are capable of any Predacon attack!" Blackarachnia: Well that makes... Huh? > Slasher Red liked this new femme, she was fierce yet calm, a true sign of > a good warrior. > Cheetor went back into the cave. He had decided to chance a scan on the > flaming red energon. Inferno: Yup, it's energon. With a new cherry flavour. > When he did this he found out that its power was > endless! Quickstrike: That red colouring gets them so hyped up. > If Megatron had this he would be very hard to stop. [Maximal > base this is Cheetor.][Where have all you been! Do you have anything to > report?][Big Bot we've found a answer to our power problem.] Cheetor > explained the properties of the red energon, and Primal told him to > bring back the crystal with them. Blackarachnia: I'd love to know how they plan on doing that... > It was small enough to be carried > back to the Axalon. SnowBlaze took Rattrapon her back Quickstrike: You know, I bet he planned it that way. > and they all headed back toward the Axalon. > Optimus was surprised to see a new face with them. Quickstrike [Cheetor]: She followed us home. Can we keep her? > SnowBlaze introduced herself to the rest of the Maximals Blackarachnia [SnowBlaze]: Hi! I'm SnowBlaze and I'll be your Avatar for this fic! > ( Dinobot had awaked from recharge > and was with everyone else in the command center). Quickstrike: And chugging down that first coffee of the day. > "I am a leopard who hunts in darkness, Inferno & Quickstrike: I am the terror who flaps in the night! [They burst out laughing] > I never surrender." Blackarachnia: Is it compulsory for SIs to say stupid things like this? > "Welcome to the Maximals. I'm glad > we have a new flyer." Rattrap was put into the CR chamber. "I show you > your quarters" Quickstrike: Please keep the noise down, as EchoWarrior is liable to complain. > Slasher Red offered to SnowBlaze. SnowBlaze liked Red, Inferno: With a little sauce and some salad. > was like her self in some ways but still was different. Slasher Red, > Dinobot and Snow Blaze all went out of the command center to their > quarters. "I think Red's found herself a new friend." Dinobot thought > to himself. Quickstrike [Dinobot]: Anything to get her off me for five seconds! > The red energon was excepted by the Core and power went back up to > maximum again. As the dimmed lighting in the Axalon burst into > luminescence, Optimus was thinking about what the next day would hold for > them. Blackarachnia: Just check Ben Yee's web page. Inferno: Ahem. Blackarachnia: Sorry. > SnowBlaze had reached her quarters and sat down on the floor. Quickstrike: Hey Snow... There's this great thing called the chair. You might want to use it. > She > stared out of the skylight at the moon, just gazing and a single tear > feel from her optic. Blackarachnia [Sighs]: One, we don't have tear ducts. Two: If she's a new-born Protoform, then she wouldn't have any past to speak of, so she has nothing to be upset about... Oh forget it. I have a feeling that this will be a recurring theme in our lives. > THE END > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > If you liked "Blazing Energon" by Snowblaze, Inferno: You could make big bucks in Hollywood! > e-mail her. > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Back Quickstrike: To the real world! [They all get up and leave] [Door 1 - A vault door. It's unlocked] [Door 2 - A revolving door. You go round a few times then proceed] [Door 3 - An elevator door. You push the button and it opens] [Door 4 - A garage door. You blip it with the remote, then open it manually when that fails] [Door 5 - It's a Catflap. You crawl through it] [SoP Bridge. There are several letters on the desk. The Preadacons enter] Blackarachnia: Well that was. Inferno: Pretty standard fare, huh? Quickstrike: Do you think they're going for death by repetition? Blackarachnia: Quite possibly. I'm yet to see a single fic that has featured an unexpected plot twist. Inferno: Negative Zero: Immigration had some. Blackarachnia: But we slept through them. Inferno: Point. Quickstrike: Hey! We got mail. Blackarachnia: Let's see.... [She picks them up.] This one's from Amanda Flowers. Infenro: Ooh! What's she saying? > Whee! What fun. I think I've read most of the series. ^_^ I was > severely biased, though...see, I go into laughing fits just about EVERY > time Inferno says the word "BUUUUURRRRRRRNNNN..." Quickstrike: Looks like you got a fan there. Inferno: Shucks. > I DO think that the lead-in "Quickstrike [Southern]:" in "Negative Zero" > is a bit redundant, though. Quickstrike: Well, I was trying for a different accent... > I used Inferno's somehow just way-too-in-character riff: >> I continue the meeting. A few minutes later the Decepticon intruder alert >> goes off. > Inferno: Intruder alert! Man your welcome stations! Prepare tea and > biscuits! > as one of my AOL E-mail quotes this week. ^_^ Blackarachnia knew just a > BIT TOO much (heck of a lot more than I knew, anyway), but...well, spiders > just always seemed to have "Out of Game Knowledge." Blackarachnia: You could say it's from me having the contents of the Gold Disk stored in my head. Or the MSTer needing a person to pick out flaws. Inferno: Ahem! Blackarachnia: Sorry. > Regarding Star Ruby, her "Cambry" fic, her "From the Ashes" fic, and a > letter therein... Rob's right. It really DOES read like a TurtleNinja. > :-P Blackarachnia: Actually, Star Ruby didn't write "Cambry". But the point is valid. > Say hi to the Preds for me! All: Hi! Blackarachnia: That was nice. Quickstrike: So what else is there. Inferno: Ooh! There's one from Mitch! > To the Predacons, > This is Mitch. I read you're MSTing of "Beware the Bee". Actually, > I think Dr. Thinker could be a rather desent fan fic writer if he would > watch out for grammer and spelling Blackarachnia: Agree with you there. He's a great guy. Now if only we could figure out what he's saying. > (I think he meant that Bubblebee > started the -technology- that created the Maximals and Predacons, not > that they're -related- to him). Inferno: But then, it could have meant anything. > Also, I think he's confusing the Beast > Wars planet with the one from "Beast Wars Second". > Well, thank Rick for the page on Transformer reproduction, it was > educational. Blackarachnia: No problems. I'm glad he could clear up some confusion. > Also, I originally gave a hint to Blackarachnia about > something I saw in her future, but now I think I'll let her be surprised. > If you ever have any spare time, I suggest you check out the MSTing > of "Dinobot's Old Technology" on Web Site Number 9 and read Joel and the > bots reading a Beast Wars fic. > By the way, I just wrote and sent a "Beast Wars" fic of my own about > Air Razor. Here it is if you want to see it (but you don't have to MST > it) before it gets posted (I don't know when that will be). Blackarachnia: Actually, it was quite a nice fic. I rather enjoyed it myself. Ity's good to see that you can have a TransFic without excessive gunplay, an over the top self-insertion or warping the facts. > Mitch Qucikstrike: Thanks fer that! Blackarachnia: And finally, this one's from Paul Fauth on Beware the Bee... > Thank you and good night Inferno: My thoughts on that fic too. [The Gobot's light flashes] Blackarachnia: And now, just to ruin our day, Hawk Hunter and Pat McLanahan are calling us again. [She switches on the console. The Gobots appear, but the image is a bit shaky] Cy-Kill: So, my little *dzzzzzt* are you going? Ready to *dzzzzzt* before me and submit to *dzzzzzzt*? Blackarachnia: Fraid not. Quickstrike: Sorry. Cy-Kill: *dzzzzzzt*? Blackarachnia: Well, um... I guess the problem is that it's just the basic plot all the Beast Wars fics we read have. The Maximals find object X, the preadacons go to get it, there's a fight and the Maximals end up with it and usually a Self Insertion to boot. Cy-Kill: Well... [Image completely goes in a blurr of static] Blackarachnia: Well so much for them. Quickstrike: Uh-uh, sugarbot. There's another call coming in! [The static clears to reveal Vice Grip and Antagony in the same lab as before.] Antagony: Sorry to bug you guys again, but I just need some help. Quickstrike: What do you want? Antagony: You wouldn't happen to know where I could find EchoWarrior nowardays? He and I have some unfinished business... Blackarachnia: Try the Sattelite of Annoying People. He's stuck in there last I heard. [She takes a sideways look at Inferno] And stop drooling, will you? Inferno: Sorry. Antagony: Thankyou very much. Quickstrike: You couldn't get us down from here, could you? Antagony: I'm afraid not. I have a professional Mad's reputation to live up to. We don't try to sabotage each other's experiments. Blackarachnia: Figures. Antagony: Push the button, Vice Grip. Vice Grip: Pushing the button. [He pushes the button] [The screen goes blank] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Editor's notes: Vice Grip was the other BotCon 98 exclusive toy (along with Antagony.) He was a black and blue re-colour of the otherwise unmemorable Powerpinch. The Plot Contivance Crystal was used by Cy-Kill in the five-part Gobot pilot episode. This one crystal provided an immense source of power, could be used to take over the minds of every humans on the planet and would explode with enough force to destroy the Earth. And Cy-Kill used its immense power to... build an army of Zods. Uh-huh. Thanks to Max Fauth for the idea of the Zod Alarm. It's genius! The Preadacons will be back with the regular mads next time for a very... Special presentation. It's the Worst Case Scenario and you're all invited! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Riffed by: Rick R. Mortis (rickr@one.net.au) Blackarachnia, Inferno and Quickstrike are copyright 1995-1999 Hasbro/Kenner. Cy-Kill and Coptur are copyright 1986-19?? Tonka/Bandai Elmer Studios!: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/2628/elmer.htm All of Elmer Studios' MSTings, artwork, character profiles, AAA conversions and the Satellite of Predacons in one spot. Rick's Mecha Madness Page: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/7194/index.htm AntiKevs, Mekton Z conversions, fanfic drinking game, the one and only Common Sense Timeline, crazy Fighters' Anthology .lib and missions, and Utterly Disturbing Nova Satori Shrine. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Cheetor kept firing at Terrorsaur in > the sky but he dodged most of the shots, that's when Cheetor saw SnowBlaze > in the air use her photon claw blaster at him, the laser beam shots giving > him a major hit.