Will's Notes: Well, I'm sorry I took so long getting around to this one, but I figured I'd get through my first semester of college before I started riffing again. I'm also sorry if you're reading this and expecting Star Trek Ranger Moon part four, but I figured that I'd try something new and riff a few lemons. With my MSTing cast, it just makes sense. I'd also like to say that it's a great honor to work with Mike Surbrook and I appreciate the chance to do my first team MSTing. Now, on to my other thanks. First off, I'd like to thank Mike Surbrook, for this opportunity to MST with him. Then, there's Alicia Ashby, Jamie Jeans, John Felix, John Hurst, Jeff Yang, Damien Karolev, Arsenal XIII, Mike Rivman, Vegeta, Mark Berger, Shelby Scott, Steve Savage, Matt Linkous, Amandas Berman and Van Rhyn, the Reverend Ezekiel Wadd, and anybody else I may have forgotten at the moment for reasons too various to list. It's been a lot of fun so far and I hope it goes on for quite a while. Anyway, now for the legal stuff. Urotsukidoji and La Blue Girl belong to Toshio Maeda Darkstalkers belongs to Capcom Project A-ko belongs to Soieshinsha/Final-Nishijima Ah! My Goddess belongs to Kosuke Fujishima Marta Nys is property of Mike Surbrook (to whom we are eternally grateful) The Mystery Science Theater concept belongs to Joel Hodgson and Best Brains Inc., may they be blessed greatly by Kami-sama. Cross-Dimensional Demon Attack! belongs to Hentacle (and he can have it). Anything else I use belongs to whoever owns it, so please don't sue me. You wouldn't get much for your trouble, anyway. All C&C is greatly appreciated and should be sent to wcrain3@hotmail.com. Let me know that you like what you're reading! By the way, since this is a MSTing of a lemon fic, anyone under 18 or who objects to very bad taste should either turn away now or wait until their parents are asleep or away before viewing. That's it? Good! Now on with the MSTing! Mystery Maeda Theater 3000! Episode 4 by William Crain with Mike Surbrook * The ladies (and Marta) are gathered around the coffee table for that first taste of caffeine in the morning. Marta: So, basically you guys do what every other satellite crew seems to be doing now, right? Megumi: Yeah, pretty much. Our boss doesn't seem to be terribly keen on originality. Marta: I've noticed. Any idea on how I can get back to Earth? Ling-Ling's gonna wonder where I've been, by now. Fubuki: If we knew, we wouldn't be here. Marta: You guys look familiar, for some reason. I can't quite place your faces, though. Miko: Well, we'd still better brace ourselves. Maeda usually graces us with his appearance about this time. *Just as Miko finishes speaking, the Maeda button flashes. Megumi says to hell with it and pushes the button. Maeda's face appears on the viewscreen and both he and Nin-Nin seem to be instantly entranced by Marta's cleavage. Megumi: Ahem. You called? Maeda: Ah, yes. Almost forgot myself there. How are my little sleepyheads this fine morning? Fubuki: We've been better. Maeda: Glad to hear that, because I've found your first real test for today's session. But first, I wanna see your invention of the day. Marta: Fuck this invention shit, I want you to get me down from here and back with Ling-Ling! Maeda: Tsk-tsk, Ms. Nys. It wouldn't do for you to be up there and not go through at least one fic. * Miko then emerges from the back of the satellite, carrying what appears to be a flourescent orange dildo. Maeda takes one look at it and collapses into helpless gales of laughter and even Marta can't help but chuckle. Maeda: Anxious, aren't we? Fubuki: Not really, no. This is our invention for today. As you know, the Phantom Menace is taking the world by storm this summer, so we figured that we'd be idiots not to cash in on it. Therefore, we give you the Phantom Menace Glow-in-the-Dark Condom, complete with built-in lightsaber sound effects! * Miko swings the dildo around, producing said sound effects. Fubuki: And, for the total idiot who can't figure out which way the bubble at the tip is supposed to point, we have the Darth Maul reversible model, complete with the Sith Lord's marketable face on either side. Megumi: Of course, upon further review, we realize now that not very many of these will likely be used, since frankly, no one who sees the movie more than once is very likely to get laid. Of course, many will be bought for sheer collectors value alone. Marta:(looking at the glowing dildo) Double-ended? How much? Miko: So, what's your invention, boss? Assuming you can pry your eyes away from Marta's chest long enough to show us. *Maeda and Nin-Nin have been drooling at Marta's chest the whole time and have succeeded in starting a minor electrical fire on their control panel, which instantly wakes them up.* Maeda: Oh, my invention. Nin-Nin, bring it out! Nin-Nin: Yes, Maeda-sama! *Nin-nin walks off camera and rummaging sounds can be heard before he returns with a non-descript box, which he then opens to reveal... Maeda: Here's my invention! It's a beaut, ain't it? *The ladies stare in horror, slack-jawed at the possibility that someone could think of something so evil and disgusting. Megumi: That's horrible! Miko: That's cruel! Fubuki: That's disgusting! Marta: I may never have sex again! Maeda: Well, you're not going to be the only one cashing in on the Phantom Menace, you know. With this, the Jar-Jar Binks Tongue-in-a-Box, I will rule the masturbating female Phantom Menace audience, or at least their wallets. Miko:(to the ladies) Should we tell him? Megumi: Nah, let him figure it out for himself. * Suddenly, the wiggling tongue starts wiggling faster and faster, until it breaks off and impales Nin-Nin right between the eyes. He falls backwards as everyone watching winces. Megumi: Never mind. Marta: That must have hurt. Maeda: Ah, he'll live. Anyway, your fic for today is a little piece of lemon tripe entitiled "Cross-Dimensional Demon Attack!" by a person calling themself Hentacle. In the words of the immortal Duke Nukem, suck it down! * Maeda then pushes the big red button which is the cause of so much trouble for so many MSTing teams. Fubuki: Well, it had to happen sooner or later. Marta: You mean this is your first lemon? Miko: Yup. Megumi: And it looks like we've got lemon sign. All: (flatly) Yay. * All enter the theater, Miko in the far left, then Marta, Megumi, and Fubuki at the far right. Maeda's Voice:(over intercom) Oh by the way, in case I didn't tell you, it's an Overfiend/Project A-ko/Ah! My Goddess/Darkstalkers crossover, too! Miko: So we could see you in this, Megumi! Megumi: Shut up, Miko. Marta: Now I know where I've seen you before! Fubuki: Quiet, everybody! The fic's starting. >Cross-Dimensional Demon Attack! Megumi: Coming to a lemon archive near you! Miko: Sunday! Sunday! Sunday! Marta: Race fans! Hot rodders! Nubile young women of all cup sizes! >by Hentacle Megumi: Now there's a name that just screams "I have issues". Marta: Hentacle doesn't just have issues, he has the full year's subscription, complete with perfume samples and CD insert. >a Crossover fanfic Fubuki: What's worse, the fact that this is a crossover lemon or the fact that the author calls himself Hentacle? > Notice: All characters here (except for minor demons not worth naming) Miko:(author) Because I can't be spared ten minutes to come up with anything. >are >the copyrighted property of their respective creators. For example, all >Project A-ko characters belong to Soeishinsha/Final-Nishijima, the Chojin and >Amano Jyaku belong to Toshio Maeda, Maeda:(over intercom) And don't you forget it! Megumi: Oh, go crawl back under your rock. >and the Darkstalkers Marta: Ohhh... will we see Hsien-ko? Ling-Ling does a great Hsien-ko! >and Street Fighters >characters belong to Capcom. (I don't remember, however, to whom or what the >Oh! My Goddess characters belong.) Marta: That's Kosuke Fujishima, you ninny! >I don't really own all these guys, I don't >want any money or legal trouble, and the only reason I'm doing this is for >fun. > Notice #2: This story involves graphic sex, rape, tentacles, castrations, Miko: What about graphic rape featuring castrated tentacles? Megumi: That's just gross. >violence, pseudo-satanic rituals, a lot of bad words, and plain political >incorrectness. Marta: Sounds like a typical Saturday night in the Zone to me. Fubuki: More like a typical night on the set. Marta: Oohhh... how do I get *that* job? >So if you're under 18, have a heart condition, or are a >Christian Baptist or something, get the hell outta here. Megumi: I have a heart condition. Can I go? Maeda:(from intercom) No. > And now, on with the show: Fubuki: It'll only be a dollar for fifteen minutes and don't mind the residue on the screen. >Part 1. > It was unscientific, irrational, and downright foolish. Miko: That didn't stop ol' Hentacle, though. Nosirree. > It was also the last chance B-ko had left. > Robots hadn't worked; the goon squad hadn't worked; even the Akagiyama-23 >battlesuit hadn't worked. Marta: B-ko still hadn't had her first orgasm. >That bitch A-ko had beaten them all. Fubuki: Maybe somebody's trying to tell you something, B-ko. > So B-ko had turned to the supernatural. Now she stood before the pentagram, >chanting. Megumi:(flying monkeys) Ohweeoh! Oh oh! Ohweeoh! Oh oh! Miko:(Dhalsim) Yoga yoga yoga yoga yoga yoga yoga yoga... Fubuki: Oh, great Cthulu, I summon thee... Marta: Eenie, meenie, chili-beenie! The spirits are about to speak! > "O mighty Chojin, I summon thee!" she prayed. "I call upon thy power to Fubuki: ... make me explode like a busty nurse! Marta: Hellooooo nurse! >grant me aid! Grant me the means to defeat my enemy, A-ko, so that C-ko and >Kei may be mine!" Fubuki:(B-ko) I will experience a threesome in my lifetime, dammit! Marta: I'm into that! Uhhh... but not with C-ko or Kei. >She circled the pentagram, stopping at each point to say >each sentence. > "Of my own will, I summon thee! > "To defeat my foes, I summon thee! > "To grant my desires, I summon thee! > "To give me power, I summon thee! > "In thy own name, I summon thee!" Miko: Is she summoning the Overfiend or Team Rocket? Megumi: Team Tentacle is blasting off again! Fubuki: I'm not cleaning it up. > Then she went back to the position in which she started. Megumi: Spoon? Marta: Missionary? Fubuki: With her arm up to the elbow in... Others: Fubuki! >"Now...grant me the >power I beg of you!" Miko:(B-ko) Pretty please? Marta: The power of porn!!! Megumi: Copyrighted by the Great Red Serpent, 1998. > As if on cue, a powerful wind blew through the room, snuffing out the >candles. Marta:(Brendan Frasier) That happens a lot around here... Miko: Those poor candles, snuffed out at such an early age. They didn't even get the chance to experience true love. > B-ko reached for the light switch -- and heard an inhuman-sounding voice >whisper, Marta: Do you think I'm sexy? >"Don't bother." > "I hope that isn't Dad," she muttered. Fubuki:(Mr. Daitokuji) B-ko, are you summoning otherworldly demons to rape and pillage the world again? Megumi:(B-ko) No, father. Fubuki:(Mr. Daitokuji) Very well, then. Carry on. >Then she saw something glowing in the >center of the pentagram. It took on a shape. Was it the Chojin? Marta: Oh no! Look! It's Ken Starr! All: Ahhhh! > B-ko saw a humanoid figure with many phallic tentacles extending from its >stomach. "Uhm...y-you're not the Ch-Chojin, are you?" she stammered meekly. Marta: Can anyone here even picture B-ko doing anything meekly? > "No," said the creature. "I'm more like an advance scout. So, whaddya want >the Chojin for?" Marta:(singing) I want to be fucked like an animal! I wanna be felt from the *inside*! Miko:(B-ko as Megumi) I want that super Cho-Jin OW!!! Megumi: *removing her hand from the back of Miko's head* Never mention that particular line again. > B-ko explained her A-ko problems, Marta:(B-ko) She won't go to bed with me! >and the demon listened patiently. "I see," >he said. "You wanted the Chojin to give you the power to kill this A-ko >bitch. Will I do?" Miko: That's kind of a stupid question in a lemon fic, now isn't it? Marta: I bet you this is some stupid union rule. > "I suppose you will, for now." agreed B-ko. Fubuki: Famous last words, anyone? > "Good," said the demon. With that, it extended four tentacles around B-ko's >arms and legs, lifting her into the air. Her arms were forced behind her >back, and her legs spread apart. Marta: Don't you hate it when that happens? > "Hey, what the hell're you doing?!" demanded B-ko. Fubuki: He's doing you. What does it look like? Marta: Hey, B-ko, you're a super-genius and this is a tentacle rape fic... *You* figure it out! Megumi: If you already know the answer, why ask the question? > "Granting your prayers, bitch," said the demon rudely as two more members >slithered along each breast and began to squeeze. Marta:(standing up and reaching for the screen) Oh! Can I help? >"So shut up and enjoy this >while you still have a soul." Miko:(demon) For you are entering the soulless world of Porn(tm)! > "Now hold on just a -- " B-ko began. Suddenly, two more tentacles slid up. >One got into her clit while another penetrated her asshole. Marta: Dammit! What's with all the anal sex in these things? Fubuki: Screw the anal sex, what's with that "entering her clit" business? Miko: Who here thinks Hentacle could be another name for Crystal Knight? * All raise their hands Miko: I thought so. > "Urrrnnngghhh!" she groaned in pain. Megumi: I'd be in pain too, if something just entered my clit. > "Calm down, will ya?" Miko: It's always easy to say that until you're the object of attention. Marta:(muttered) And people wonder why I prefer women... >snapped the demon as it began to move its tentacles in >and out of her. > Unlike most victims of tentacle rape, B-ko wasn't terrified, more like >pissed. Marta: Probably saw how much she was getting paid for this scene. Fubuki:(B-ko) I'm supposed to get paid? >This certainly hadn't been what she expected. Then she started to >realize what was happening, as the demon's tentacles in her asshole and pussy >began to pulsate in her, the tentacles on her legs continued to stretch until >they reach her buttocks and started to caress them, Megumi:(Sir Mix-A-Lot) I like big butts and I cannot lie! >the tentacles on her >breasts started to stroke them, and the tentacles on her arms continued to >stretched until they join the tit-tentacles. This fiend was having sex with >her! Marta: NO SHIT! What, does Hentacle think we are, idiots or what? Fubuki: Why do I get the feeling that we don't want an honest answer to that? > It wouldn't have done any good to scream for help, she realized, as her goon >squad was asleep for the night in their own homes, her father was out of town, Marta: I've seen her dad in action. "Out to lunch" is more like it. >and the walls of this particular chamber were soundproofed, something of which >B-ko herself had made sure. Marta: Makes you wonder why she had *that* done, don't it? Miko:(Mr. Daitokuji) B-ko, I didn't raise you to be a screamer! Keep it down in there! >And she couldn't reach the intercom or hit the >alarm button, so those weren't options either. As the demon had said, her >best bet was to shut up and enjoy what was happening. Marta: Relax and enjoy it, B-ko! > And what was happening was starting to become very enjoyable. Miko: Which lemon cliche is this again? Megumi: After a while, you just don't care. > B-ko's body had already begn spasming when the demon had started its work; >now with the tentacles that bound her simultaneously adding their touch to the >caresses, the spasms sped up. And her G-spot was going nuts. Marta:(shifts around in her seat)... Megumi: What's with you? Marta: I miss Ling-Ling. >Soon she began >to have an orgasm, then another and another. Fubuki: And another and another and another and another and another and another and... Marta: By that point, my lungs were aching for air! > The demon began to have an orgasm as well, its tentacles firing off a blue >slimy spunk which coated B-ko from head to toe. Marta:(B-ko) I've been slimed! Miko: She's a spunky gal, that B-ko is. >Then, its tentacles spent, it >dropped the exhausted B-ko. > "How was that?" asked the demon. Megumi:(B-ko) How was what? Marta: How was that? If some guy creamed all over me from head to toe with blue glowing shit, I'd cut his fuckin' heart out! How was that... the nerve! Fubuki: Call it a hunch, but I don't think you'll ever need to worry about that. > "Ohhh, C-kooooo..." moaned B-ko, imagining the tongue action down there. Marta:(slightly stunned) That, I didn't need to hear. Fubuki: Along with the rest of us. Miko: Must escape...frightening...mental image. > The demon grinned. "Wait'll you feel what happens next." Megumi: And cue exploding woman. Marta: I'm betting she gets bigger breasts...which, actually, would be cool by me. > Suddenly, the demon cum seemed to spring to life as it seeped into B-ko's >skin. Even as the pussy and asshole action started again, every pore on B- >ko's skin felt as if it were being sexually penetrated. Fubuki: Oil of Olay, eat your heart out. >"Oooaahhhh! Marta:(stands up, looks around) What? Is my sister here? >Unnnggghhh! Uh-uh-uh!" Marta: Sure sounds like her... Megumi: And you know this how? Marta: Our old place had really thin walls. >B-ko gasped as the multiple orgasms started again. >"Oh, no -- not again!" she cried. "Not now! I'm too exhausted from the last >time!" Marta: Wimp. > But this time it felt as if she were getting stronger instead of weaker. And >this time each orgasm was more powerful, and pleasureable, than the last. B- >ko thrashed violently with delight, screaming. "Oh, C-ko! Oh, Kei! Ohhh, C- >koooo! Ohhh, KEEEIIIII!!" Megumi: Oh, no. Miko: Oh, god. Fubuki: Oh, yuck. Marta: Oh, please. > As B-ko continued to alternate between the names of her twin objects of >desire, Marta: As opposed to my twin objects of desire, which are Mai Shiranui's breasts. >your typical demonic red glow emanated from her, Miko: Looks like something she needs to get checked. >signalling a demonic >transformation. Fubuki: She's turning into a lawyer! Run for the hills! >When it was over, B-ko was a blue horned demon with naughty >tentacles hanging from her groin. Marta: Excuse me? She had a sex change? What *a* rip!!! Fubuki: For all your gender-switching needs, just call your local tentacle demon! Miko: The masturbation possibilities alone are endless! >The B-ko/demon looked down at the >tentacles, and with a thought retracted them. Marta: Is that anything like a detachable penis? Megumi: I'm wondering where she finds room for them. > The demon checked out the pentagram. "Say, unless I miss my guess," it said, >"this is another dimension? An alternate Earth?" Marta: Great...we're gonna get "Crisis on Infinite Earths" *all* over again! Megumi: Welcome to Plot Contrivance Theater! > "You're from an alternate Earth?" Marta:(demon) No, actually I'm from New Jersey. It just seems like another world. >asked the B-ko/demon, reassuming B-ko's >human shape. "I thought I'd summoned you from hell or something." Miko: See previous riff concerning New Jersey. > "This is interesting," said the demon. "Y'know what this means?" Fubuki: That Jamie Jeans' caffeine supply is truly infinite? Marta: We've found the excuse for a really lame-assed crossover? Megumi: That Starbuck's really is everywhere? > "I think I do," said B-ko. "You're going to fix it so the Chojin takes over >not only his own Earth, but every Earth?" Marta:(demon) Yes, I got the idea from this pyramid land scheme I saw in Florida. Miko: Alternate Earths! Collect the whole set! Fun for the entire family! > "Yep," said her rapist. > B-ko smiled. "Sounds like fun." Marta: Interesting idea of fun, there... Miko:(B-ko) And after we take over the Earths, I wanna go out for ice cream and fly a kite and boil some kittens and... > Belldandy, Urd, and Skuld checked out Yggdrasil, Marta: Ohhh! Urd! ^_^ >the computer of the gods. Marta: Power Mac G3? Miko: As if God would do Windows. > "Something's not right," said Urd. "Yggdrasil's saying that while nothing's >wrong with it personally, there's some kind of disturbance in an alternate >universe." Marta:(deep voice) I felt a great disturbance in the Force... Megumi:(deep voice) That bean burrito was coming back to haunt me. > "Is everything gonna be all right?" asked Skuld worriedly. Marta: In a lemon crossover? Get real. > "I hope so," said Belldandy. "I hope so." Fubuki:(Belldandy) If I just keep repeating this, the big, bad demons'll all go away! Marta: She's doomed. >Questions? Comments? Miko: Oh, I've got a few comments, all right. >E-mail me at TCSHAN@aol.com Megumi: And the AOL idiocy continues. Fubuki: Let's get out of here for now. Maeda:(over intercom) Not so fast! You've still got another part to get through! Miko: Oh, damn. > As Belldandy, Urd, and Skuld tried to pinpoint the source of the inter-reality >disturbance, Urd said, "Do you hear something?" Marta:(Belldandy) Yes, a great disturbance in the force. > Then Skuld wrinkled her nose. "Do you smell something?" she asked as if correcting Urd. Fubuki: Yeah, Big Fat Baby needs a change. Marta: Someone has been eating at Taco Bell again. > Suddenly, the noise of the stench All: (make assorted farting noises) >and noise burst into the room. It was a hideous demon! Skuld screamed, and Belldandy gasped >in horror. Urd blinked. "Why do those tentacles look like dicks?" she wondered. Megumi: You'd think Urd, of all people, would know the answer to that. > Belldandy suddenly summoned a light sword. "Demon!" she shouted. "You'll never prevail >over the Norns!" Marta: Somehow, Devil Hunter Belldandy just doesn't sound right. > "What the fuck are you doing, sis?" demanded Urd. "This isn't some shojo manga!" Miko:(Urd) It's tentacle porn, now lay back and relax like a good girl! > "Oh," Belldandy deadpanned as the sword disappeared. Suddenly the demon's members lashed >out and bound Urd and Belldandy! Marta: Goddesses in bondage, next on Springer. > "Skuld, run!" screamed Belldandy. "Save yourself!" Marta: For later? > "Yeah!" agreed Urd. "And while you're at it, find out what's causing these invasions!" Megumi:(Urd) And stop by the drive-thru and pick me up a cheeseburger! > Skuld teleported away. Urd turned to Belldandy and said, "Uhm, onee-sama, did you mean >for Skuld to save her own ass, or were you expecting her to be noble or something?" Marta: I'm expecting Skuld to slap Keiichi around for causing trouble, myself. Fubuki: Careful, Marta. You'll give hentai fanboys ideas. Megumi: As if C-ko in bondage gear wasn't disturbing enough. > "Well, I..." But before Belldandy could finish her sentence, a tentacle shot into her >mouth and forced a demonic blowjob on her. Another one did the same thing to Urd. Yuck! >commented the love goddess. This has gotta be the worst-tasting dick I ever sucked! Miko: And knowing Urd, that speaks volumes. > Suddenly, their legs were forced apart and two more limbs entered the goddesses' vaginas, Fubuki: Unfortunately, they were both legs and Belldandy and Urd were ripped open. The end. Marta: Wow, who pissed in your corn flakes this morning? >while the ones binding their arms forced their kimonos open and rudely massaged their bare >breasts. Megumi: Were the breasts expecting dinner and a movie first? >Belldandy and Urd shrieked with pain, fear, and outrage at this violation. > After a while Bldandy started to cry, Marta: Isn't it an anime law somewhere that if you make Belldandy cry, it is guaranteed that you get your ass kicked? Megumi: I'm not sure, but I know that it's an anime law that tentacle beasts not survive from chapter to chapter. Miko: Either way, this demon's toast. >while Urd simply...well, sulked. Marta: So, what else is new? >She, a love goddess, was forced to experience a mockery of love like this! She was basically >helpless to do anything about it, though, with her arms pinned to her sides. > No. > She wasn't helpless. Miko: She was woman, hear her roar. Marta: Sorry, I can't. She's got a tentacle shoved down her throat. > If she could at least magnify this creature's pleasure, maybe she could sexually exhaust >it. Marta: Wow...I wonder if I could learn that trick. Megumi: We'll talk later. Marta: Really? >Applying her skills at lovemaking, she managed to control her vaginal ripplings and hips >motions, while at the same time blowjobbing harder and caressing the demonic phallus in her >mouth with her tongue. Marta: I'm betting that *doesn't* taste like chicken. Fubuki:(overseer) Blowjob harder! Faster! Don't make me get out the rack! > It was working; the demon was becoming very aroused by Urd's skill. Marta: Well, I'm getting aroused just thinking about it... >(Being a love goddess, she really had the Kama Sutra beat.) It orgasmed in her mouth, pistoned >wildly in her clit, and jismed all over her breasts. Marta: Typical male. I bet the demon then rolls over and goes to sleep. Miko: Either that, or go into a forty-minute soliloquy about how he's hung like an acupuncture needle. >Urd couldn't believe what was happening: the plan was not only working, she was becoming quite >turned on! Marta: Yes, rape automatically turns any woman on... Fubuki: That guy from "Click" was playing with her remote control again. >She rode the members fucking her to orgasm over and over and over again. All: And over and over and over and over and... >Three thoughts flashed through her brain: Marta: One, what am I doing here? Miko: Two, why the hell did I sign on for this? Fubuki: Three, where *would* a tentacle demon go to get a circumcision? Megumi: I really don't want to think about that. > One, that maybe she could make a love potion out of demon spunk. Fubuki: Jizz. By Calvin Klein. Miko: Now available at cheap department stores everywhere. Marta: Knowing how her love potions normally turn out, I really don't want to see that one in action. > Two, that she was glad Skuld wasn't around to see this; she was too young for a goddess. Megumi: But not too young for Tsunai! Others: Eeewwwww!!! > Three, that this had better work. > The demon screamed as it exploded all over Urd. Marta: Wow, it's brains went down her top! >The tentacles lost their slack and they exhaustedly fell away. Marta: See! I told you he'd roll over and go to sleep! Miko: Guess the bottle of viagra just wasn't enough. Megumi:(Urd) Don't worry, we can still cuddle. >That, and the slippery fluid in which she was coated, enabled Urd to slide out of the >tentacles' grip. Marta: Oil of Olay. It will make you look younger, too. Fubuki: Just ask Traci Lords! > I did it! thought Urd desperately as she orgasmed a final time. I'm free! Miko: And with this one sentence, horny fanboys everywhere rejoiced. > But how to save Belldandy? The demon wasn't letting her go so easily. Urd thought about >it, then cast a spell. "In the name of Kami-sama, demon be gone!" Marta: She had to *think* about doing that? When normally she just blows stuff up at will? Fubuki: She's been doing enough blowing in this fic, as it is. > The demon jerked painfully as the exorcism spell hit. It released Belldandy from its >tentacles. Miko:(Urd) Drop that goddess! Megumi:(demon) Okay. Fubuki:(Belldandy) Ow! Not on my head! > "This will teach you not to fuck with a goddess, if you'll pardon the expression!" shouted >Urd. "As a goddess of love, I find rape to be the most hideous mockery!" Fubuki:(Urd) And in the name of Kami-sama, I'll punish you! Marta: Can she punish me, instead? >She unleashed another bolt of energy, making the demon dissipate into its home dimension. > She went to Belldandy. Her sister sobbed hysterically. "It's okay," said Urd >comfortingly as she held Belldandy close. "The demon's gone. It's going to be fine." Marta: Who is she kidding? This is only chapter two. > Morrigan walked the streets in her human form. Marta: And a nice form it is, I may add. >She had sensed a dimensional disturbance, and wondered if someone or something had gone >through the demon world to Earth. Fubuki: Or if it was just gas. > There...she sensed it. In that alley. She walked into it. The sensation grew stronger. Megumi: The sentences grew smaller. Miko: And the keyboard grew sticky. > Mor...ri...gan... Marta:(singsong) Waaaaarriorrrss! > The voice called to her, seeming to taunt her. Miko:(voice) Here, batter batter! > Mor...ri...gan... Marta:(singsong) Waaaaarriorrrss! > "Who's there?" she whispered. Suddenly a black tentacle wrapped around her wrist, pulling >her into the shadows. Megumi: And the plot point bug lamp claims another hapless victim. Marta: I dunno, I've seen Morrigan in action. > It was like diving into a pool of water; Fubuki: Except it wasn't mixed with small children's urine. >then Morrigan realized that her surroundings had changed. She was suspended above what looked >like a wasteland with pitch-black skies. She then discovered what was holding her. Marta: Hugh Grant? >A demon with a muscular upper body, a tentacled blob of a lower body, and a hideous face with >a mouth full of fangs was wrapping phallic limbs around her. Marta: Oops, that's a Senate investigating committee, my bad. > As the slime coating the members ate away at her clothing, Morrigan realized what the >demon wanted. Marta: To be held! >But something that would have frightened a human or a goddess, merely gave a succubus pause. >She considered her options. She could resist, scream, fight -- Marta: I vote for 'relax and enjoy it'. >none of which would work, as the demon was obviously more powerful, and no one could hear her >scream. Marta: In a tentacle fic, no one can hear you scream. Fubuki: Usually because your mouth is full. > Or...she could let the demon fuck her, absorb the sexual energy, and gain the strength to >defeat it. As a side benefit, she could have some small satisfaction from the orgasm. Marta:(blink, blink) Wow, all the passion of a 2x4. > A limb entered her cunt and probed. Megumi: Five years later, the limb started up a thriving drilling operation. Marta: Looking for...uhm...skip it. >Morrigan grunted at first, then began to absorb the energy. Slowly, the pain faded away, >transmuted to pleasure. Morrigan gasped as the sexual delight was enhanced by the buzz of >mystical energy surging through her beautiful body. All: SURGE!!! >The members surrounding her stroked her tits, exciting her further. > Gods...I'm gonna...oh yes, went through her mind as she began to climax. Struggling to >control her spasms, she bucked harder and harder, Miko: But the demon held on for the full eight seconds, thereby winning the Morrigan Rodeo and collecting a shiny silver belt buckle for his trouble. Marta:(western drawl) Woah there, little fella! Git along little doggie! >hoping to make her would-be rapist explode in her. Fubuki: That'll be a bitch to clean out. > Suddenly, the demon threw its head back, making a deep groaning. Gallons of cum fired >into Morrigan's inner depths with machine-gun force. Miko: Thereby shooting Morrigan over the horizon and out of the fic. Megumi: Leaving a long white trail as she flew. >Her multiple orgasms surged through her beautiful body, All: SURGE!!! Marta: That's 'Ser-gay'. Megumi: Either way, it still tastes like shit. >filling her with the necessary energy. The energy buzz, orgasms, and realization of success >combined into the most pleasurable feeling Morrigan had known. Marta: Getting a refund on her taxes. > The demon continued to fill Morrigan with its sperm, Marta: Any more of this and it's gonna 'come' out her nose. Fubuki: That'll be the most roundabout way a wad of semen ever made its way into a Kleenex, that's for damn sure. >sending her into more orgasms. She gasped as her climax continued, seemingly without >stopping. The tentacle fucking her wormed its way into her cervix, then pushed through into >the very center of her womb. Not only didn't it hurt, Morrigan thought she was going to >explode Marta: - at 10 o'clock sharp! >with energy, as she lost control of her human form; this was somehow appropriate, as no human >ould survive this kind of experience. Marta: (gasp!) No one could survive that! >Two tiny batwings sprouted from her head, then two full-sized wings shot from her back. She >became rigid as the incredible orgasm surged through her; the only motions she could make were >the epileptic spasms her body made. Miko: Right before she exploded, like a hot dog in the microwave. > The demon fucking her suddenly realized Morrigan's true nature. Megumi: And realized that it didn't have the fifty bucks to pay her. >But it didn't regard her as a threat; in fact, it sensed that she was a kindred spirit of >sorts, a fellow sex-demon. Marta: Well, minus the tentacles and all. >It slowed down its thrusts, relaxing Morrigan enough to restore her mobility and released her >arms; she then put her arms around the demon's neck and locked her legs around its torso. Megumi: Unfortunately, they lost the key and had to call a locksmith. > The demon then redoubled its efforts to drive her to the ultimate orgasm, speeding up the >pace of its already powerful thrusts. Her pussy was opened to its widest almost constantly by >the repeated machine-gun firings of gallons of semen. Marta: So, where exactly do you suppose all of that is going? And better yet, where was the demon keeping it? Miko: Maybe he's the cause of the milk shortage in those Oreo O's commercials. >She worked her way downward on the rod fucking her. > It was addictive; the more pleasure she experienced, the more she wanted, hungrily. >Suddenly, her head flew backward and she screamed with pleasure. Fubuki:(Morrigan) I'm going to Disneyland! >This was beyond orgasms! She was sure she was going mad. Marta: Why is it I can never have dates like this? Fubuki: You want to date a tentacle demon? Marta: No, I wanna be orgasmed out of my mind. > The demon, noticing Morrigan's reaction, fired its ultimate load into her as it came. The >universe seemed to explode... Megumi: As did Morrigan, seeing as this is an Overfiend crossover. Marta: Talk about a "Big Bang"... > Skuld had arrived at the dimension she was searching for. This place seemed peaceful >enough. Marta: So did the beach 30 minutes before D-Day. > Suddenly, she saw a blue globe flying above her. She flew up after it. Inside the globe >was what looked like a feral-faced teenager with blue hair. Miko: Who moved as fast as old ladies with blue hair. >The boy turned to her. > "Oh, hi," he said. "Name's Amano Jyaku. Who're you?" Marta: Outta here... Megumi: Amano, how could you? I thought you had more sense than this. Fubuki: Sometimes, you just never know until it's too late. > "Skuld," said the goddess cutely. "So, what's going on?" Miko: The fic is over and we're leaving the theater now. Marta: Thank God. (6...5...4...3...2...1) * The ladies are cleaning up a little, since it's one of those things that needs to be done. Marta:(holding up the condom-covered dildo from earlier) Hey Megumi, can I have this? Megumi: Sure, go ahead. Marta: Great! Can I have this, too? (holds up the bottle of Gainax Bounce[tm]) Megumi: Be my guest. We don't need it, anymore. *And right on cue, the Maeda button flashes. Fubuki gets to push it, since she's the closest. The screen then reveals a rather disturbing image of Maeda trying to pull the Jar-Jar Binks Tongue out of Nin-Nin's skull. Maeda then sees the screen on and decides to hold off on recovering his assistant. Maeda: So, how did you all like your first lemon? Miko: Not bad. It wasn't as bad as you said it was going to be. Fubuki: Yeah, it didn't really go that much past the normal levels of wrongness found in most lemons, nowadays. Megumi: Besides, we had Marta to help us through it. Maeda: Not for too much longer, you won't. She said she wanted down, so I've decided to be a slight humanitarian and grant her her wish. Say goodbye to your new friends, Miss Nys. You're going home. Marta: Your timing sucks, Maeda. *Marta then gives the other ladies a big hug each, punctuated by a quick goose and a "Call me when you get down" before Maeda pushes the button, transporting Marta away in a flash of light. Megumi: So, what now? Maeda: Why, you'll lay awake quivering in fear of the NEXT two parts of "Cross-Dimensional Demon Attack", of course. Fubuki: Next two? Miko: We may need backup for this. Maeda: Nin-Nin, push the button! *Maeda then notices that Nin-Nin's still impaled to the wall. Maeda: Oh, never mind. *Maeda pushes the button on his console, with the expected results. FLUSH!!! Marta Nys (c) 1997 Michael Surbrook MSTed by: Michael Surbrook susano@otd.com Visit Surbrook's Stuff! A Hero System/Champions source (especially for anime and manga material) at http://www.otd.com/~susano/index.html