I've finally completed my fifth MSTing! Insane Fanfiction Theater 3000 #5! Ranma 1/2: Changed History Written by: Shinji MSTed by: J-Boogie. On: 6/7/98 Disclaimer: Ok, why did this take so long? High School Senior Finals. But, I've graduated and now I'm free! Free I say!! BWAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (coughs) Anyway, I can get back to my writing. Oh yeah. This is a joke. That is all. Further Disclaimer: This story has no E-Mail address for the author, so if anybody knows it, please let me know so I can tell the author what I've done. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Theme Song: In the not too distant future, In fact it's at the present date, There was a boy named Ryan, Who was going to meet his fate, He was to read fanfics his captor said Who turned out to be Oscar but wasn't he dead? And it seems that old Oscie is touched in the head Because Ryan was teleported to a place called Hentai Space.... (Argh! What now?!?!) Oscar'll send him crappy fanfics, the worst he can find(Lalala!) In order to find the exact one that will send him out of his mind(Lalala!) Now Ryan just can't control when the fics will begin or end(Lalala!) But to keep his sanity, he has the help of some Anime friends.... NIBBUN NO ICHI ROLLCALL!! Ranma!! (I don't belive this!) Akane!! (Oscar no Hentai!!) Ryouga!! (Where am I--Oh.) Ukyou!! (This just sucks.) Now you're probably wondering how they'll eat and sleep and other science facts (Lalala!) but just remember it's just fiction so you should really just relax!! On Insane Fanfiction Theater 3000! (Twang!) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- (The Virtual Insanity Room) Ranma and Ryouga stare at each other across the arena. It was time yet again to prove who was the better man. "So, Ryouga, you sure you want to do this?" "Of course, Ranma. I'll *PROVE* that I am a better man than *you* are!!" They took up their positions as a fast paced techno dance piece played. The announcer... well announced "All right! It's time to get down and Bust a Move!! Combatants... DANCE!!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Hentai Space longue) The rest of our intrepid gang are watching Ranma and Ryouga get down and funky on the main monitor. AKANE: Alright, so explain just what they're doing again? RYAN: Well, after I found out about the new Enix game Bust-a-Move, which I STILL say will blow Parappa the Rapper out of the water-- UKYOU: As if, boogie boy. RYAN: --Ryouga decided that he had to beat Ranma in *SOMETHING*. So, I poposed this. With modified rules of course. AKANE: Which are? RYAN: Well, they have to dance for a certain time period, and whoever does better, gets the spotlight and a much higher score. You can try and mess up your opponent, but each attempt cuts your score in half, so it's not a good idea. AKANE: Ah. Boy, I would never have thought THOSE two actually knew how to dance. UKYOU: Yeah, who woulda thunk? Ranma's a pretty good break dancer. RYAN: And I never knew Ryouga liked disco... The monitor switches to a split screen format, with Oscar on the left and the Funk-tastic dancing on the right. OSCAR: Hello again people! RYAN/UKYOU/AKANE: Bugger off! OSCAR: Now now, that's not nice! Hey, where are Ranma and Ryouga? RYAN: Dancing. OSCAR: Oh, I (does a double take) They're what?! RYAN: You heard me, dancing. OSCAR: (blinks) Oh. Anyway, this next story is short, so I only need three. UKYOU: Hey! That's not fair! OSCAR: Tough! Life isn't fair! Your target today is "Changed History" by Shinji! Now get into the theater! RYAN: Oh... WE'VE GOT CRAPPY SHORT LEMON SIGN!! UKYOU/AKANE: ARGH!! And off they go into the theater in this order: Ukyou Ryan Akane > Ranma 1/2: Changed History > By Shinji RYAN: So, an EVA pilot is writing this? UKYOU: Not likely. > Note: This is an alternate view that takes place in Ranma Movie 2. UKYOU: (groans) Oh no... > Tama RYAN: -gotchi. UKYOU: So we're dealing with an irritating, battery operated waste of time? AKANE: You know, I don't remember anybody named Tama. > has chosen Akane as his bride and has taken into his room. RYAN: Oh, I get it! He means Toma! AKANE: Hey! Why am I in this?! > "Akane, you are the most beautiful woman I've seen. RYAN: Didn't they have to kidnap women from outside the island because of that spring that turned anything it touched into men? UKYOU: Yup. RYAN: So that statement could be considered true. AKANE: And just what is *THAT* supposed to mean!? RYAN: Um, no comment? AKANE: Baka! (slams him with a mallet) > Will you marry > me?" Tama asks. > "Oh, Tama. AKANE: (as herself in this fic) How dare you ask me that after you kidnapped me, you jerk!! > You are only 15 and I'm 17, and We've only known each > other for a day." Akane replies. RYAN: (holds up his hands, using them like puppets) I know, but I love you. Marry me. Oh Tama... Oh Akane... (brings his hands together and starts making kissy noises) Oh tama... take me!! *THWAP* OWW!! > "My love for you eliminates all obstacles," UKYOU: (in a booming voice) Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!! Come see Tama's love wipe out the competition for Akane's affection!! Will it over come Ranma's ego and determination?!?! The only way you'll find out is to be there... there... there.... RYAN: (clapping) Killer echo! > Tama says and then pulls ALL: PULL!! (everybody imitates firing a gun) > Akane to him and kisses her. By that time, Akane has given up and > returned the kiss. AKANE: What the?! HEY!! I would *NOT* give in to something like that!! RYAN: It's just fiction. You should really just-(he shuts up as Akane glares at him) > The two moved to the bed AKANE: ARGH!! When I ever get out of here, I'm gonna teach *SOMEONE* the meaning of the word *castration!!!!* Ryan cringes and holds himself. > and started to remove each > other's clothes. Akane was surprised to see that Tama's cock was longer > than Ranma's. UKYOU: And just how would she know that?! RYAN: (thinks for a moment) From when they first met. UKYOU: When they first met? RYAN: I guess they never told you about that, did they? Akane whistles, trying to look innocent. > Akane smiled wickedly RYAN: Akane IS the wicked witch of the east! *THWAP* Ow. AKANE: Stop insulting me! RYAN: I wasn't insulting you! I was insulting her!! AKANE: So you were insulting me!! RYAN: But... oh forget it. Now I see why Ranma keeps calling you kawaiikune. *THWAP* OW!! > and UKYOU: ... kneed him in the nads and escaped. AKANE: Wishful thinking will get us nowhere. UKYOU: Well this fic *is* nowhere, man! > knelt down front RYAN: She knelt where? UKYOU: Hey! Down in front! > of Tama and > spread his legs gently, licking her lips and eyeing his great cock. RYAN: My, that's one big chicken. > Akane ran her hands down Tama's hips, then around his pubic hair, slightly > touching his balls. AKANE: Yo quiero Pepto Bismol... > Tama shuddered in pleasure - Akane drove him crazy with her sexy eyes UKYOU: Look into my sexy eyes and give in to my will. You will be sane no more. You will be my puppet... > and her perfect breasts RYAN: Gave him a perfect plex and made the pin! UKYOU: That... was a sucky reference. > undulating side to sideslightly RYAN: Do not adjust your computers. I control the spacing. UKYOU: Hey wait. If they're undulating, then they'd be bouncing up and down, not side to side. AKANE: Five to ten says the author is trying to be fancy by using a thesaurus. > as she fingered > the base of his cock. Akane then bent over, standing with her knees on the > bench now, AKANE: Hey, wait. Weren't they on a bed? RYAN: I control the continuity, too. What little there is. > and stuck her long, lusty tongue out, UKYOU: My my my, I didn't know your tongue had a libido of its own, Akane. AKANE: Hey! That's not me!! RYAN: Well, it sure looks like you. *THWAP* OW!! *THUD* Quit it!! *SNAP, CRACKLE, POP* Owowowowowow!! AKANE: MAKE ME!! > running it along the > tip of Tama's cock. She then opened her pretty lips RYAN: (singing) ~If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, Never make a pretty woman your wife, so for my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you.~ UKYOU: Hmm, so maybe that's why Ranma wants to be with Akane... AKANE: (glaring at them both) Don't make me kill you... > and deliciously UKYOU: Just what is it with this author and adjectives?! > swallowed it whole. RYAN: Over the lips and past the gums, look out stomach, here it comes! *THWAP THWAP THWAP THUD SMASH* OWWWW!! AKANE: (glowing slightly) Shut... up! RYAN: Yes'm... > This was the best goddamn cocksucking Tama has ever > had. RYAN: If all of his life he'd been surrounded by his servants, which are all guys... (turns a light shade of green) Ugh, I didn't need to think that. AKANE: (grins) I told you. All of those sick thoughts would come back to you one day. > Akane ran her tongue around his mushroom cap UKYOU: This story needs to be hit with a nuclear bomb. > as her lips moved up > and down his cock, her tender mouth sometimes swallowing it all the way. RYAN: Not to be nit picky... but shouldn't that be tender throat? AKANE: Ryan... I'm warning you... RYAN: I know! I know! It's not you! But I gotta riff something! > Her spit trickled down Tama's cock and balls, moistening it, RYAN: On today's show, we shall show you the proper way to keep a banana split moist. > her whole > body working on his long dick. RYAN: But I thought she was just--mmphgl? AKANE: (holding his lips shut) Don't finish that thought. > She occasionally took his cock out of her > mouth and jacked it off UKYOU: Yeowch! Didn't know it could be tugged off like that! RYAN: (tries not to pass out) > with her hands, screaming "Oh yeah....oh, god, I > want your cum so bad!" ALL: (stare at the screen slack-jawed) RYAN: I-I-I... I'm absolutely stunned! I mean, sure I make some pretty risque comments but that... I can't do it. I just can't. AKANE: (holding her head) I'm never going to live this down... UKYOU: (pats her shoulder) Just remember that this isn't you, ok? AKANE: (nods a bit) > and then returning to the procedure. UKYOU: For a hernia? Triple Bypass? Liposuction? > Akane went on RYAN: (singing) On and on and on... on and on and on... ALL: (singing) Check-a check it out, to the break-a break of dawn... > for what seemed like an eternity, AKANE: She IS the energizer bunny! (pause) Oh man, I'm riffing myself! > getting Tama so hard he > was about to blow. RYAN: Uh oh, anybody got a blast shield? UKYOU: Thar she blows! AKANE: Ukyou! UKYOU: Not you! I mean not her! Er, I meant... oh forget it. > Then suddenly, RYAN: Malahelicon came down from the heavens above and whisked away this fic for her personal archives, leaving us free. UKYOU/AKANE: Who?!?! RYAN: Just a blatant plug. > Akane threw her head back RYAN: ... Past Reggie Mills. Jordan's got the head! He shoots past the defense! And there's the slam!! It's jam time, baby! Bulls go on to the finals!! > in surprise and closed her eyes, smiling crookedly UKYOU: (reaches up to the screen) AKANE: What are you doing? UKYOU: Trying to fix the crooked smile. *Ba-doom, tish!* > and exclaiming > "Oh.....ooh....yes!" AKANE: That's not how it's supposed to go! It should be "Ohhhh... ohhhhhhh... *GASP* OH GOD!!! RANMA!! YEEEESSSSSS!!!" Ryan and Ukyou both turn to stare at her for a LONG time, before slowly turning back to the screen. > Tama grabbed Akane by the hair RYAN: Tama tired foreplay!! Tama want get down and dirty!! *THWAP* Ow. > and thrust her head > down, sticking his instrument into her mouth. UKYOU: I wonder if it's a saxophone? AKANE: Could be a trumpet. RYAN: Nah, I say it should be a kazoo! (notices he's getting stared at) What?! > "Suck harder, you goddamn > bitch!" RYAN: Uh oh. (covers his ears) AKANE: HEY!! I don't know what medieval society you come from, you evil misrepresentation of a friend, but you should NOT talk to a lady like that!! Because if you did, you'd be on the receiving end of a beatdown AND/OR a kick to the groin!! RYAN: (uncovers his ears) So, did I miss much? UKYOU: (clapping) No, not really. > Akane looked up at Tama briefly, RYAN: But if she's doing what she's doing, then he's not wearing briefs... > then smiled, squishing his muscle > slightly in her teeth. She went on sucking for a couple of minutes, RYAN: She keeps going, and going, and going, and going, and going... > moaning delightfully. RYAN: --and going, and going, and going-- AKANE: (pokes Ryan) Ok, you can stop. RYAN: --and going, and going, and going, and going--*THWAP* Thanks. AKANE: Don't mention it. > Tama kept thinking RYAN: --Just how many licks *DOES* it take to get to the middle of a tootsie pop! > how much he wanted to fuck > Akane when suddenly ALL: (singing) ~Suddenly, it has happened to me...~ > he had to cum. Tama took his cock out of Akane's > mouth - it was all moist and covered in saliva now RYAN: Well, after all of that time, what would you expect?! > and started jacking > off in her face. Akane stuck out her tongue and tasted my mushroom cap, RYAN: OH NO!!! IT'S A BAD SELF INSERTION LEMON FIC!! ALL: AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! > smiling, watching Tama jack off his huge shaft. RYAN: Yeah, that shaft is a bad mutha-- AKANE/UKYOU: Shut yo mouth! RYAN: I'm just talking about shaft! AKANE/UKYOU: We can dig it! > "C'mon baby, AKANE: Mama needs a new pair of shoes! Hotcha! > squirt your hot cum all over my face...I want it so bad! Oh....ooh.....". AKANE: (scribbles something on a notepad) UKYOU: (looking over) What're you doing? AKANE: When I get out of here, I'm visiting a few authors. These are just reasons *why*. UKYOU: And aren't punctuation marks supposed to be on the inside of quotation marks? RYAN: Oh yeah, did I happen to mention I control the grammar, too? > "Oh shit, I'm gonna cuuuuuu...." RYAN: Cuuuuuu-cumber? AKANE: Cuuuuuu-ticle? UKYOU: No, it has to be Cuuuuuu-t! The fic is over! RYAN: Sorry to say this, but it ain't true. UKYOU: I know, I know, just wishful thinking... > Cutting off, Tama blasted Akane RYAN: Take this! Protein Projectile Attack!! *THWAP* Ow! > in the face with his white juice. RYAN: Ah, must be a new flavor from Gatorade. UKYOU: Well, that certainly was tasteless. AKANE: Actually, if the guy eats a lot of sweets... UKYOU: Akane, I was talking about Ryan's riff! AKANE: (turns a bright shade of pink) Oh. RYAN: ... I won't think about that one. > She stuck our RYAN: Uh oh, it's a dual self insertion fic!! ALL: AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!! > her tongue, begging for > every single drop of Tama's delicious cum. UKYOU: Would that be magically delicious? RYAN: (singing) ~Frosted Lucky Sperm... it's probably not nutritious!~ *THWAP* Ow! > Moaning with pleasure Akane rang ALL: (singing) ~Clang clang clang went the trolly, ring ring ring went the bell...~ > her tongue around her lips RYAN: Which set? *THWAP* Ow! AKANE: Doofus. UKYOU: Besides, I don't think she could bend that far. > and his mushroom cap, AKANE: So, that would make him Toad? > swallowing the gooey stuff with delight. RYAN: Well, it ain't a fig newton, I can tell you that. > Akane then turned sideways, lying on the bed, UKYOU: No, I did NOT hear you asking to get your mattress changed... > her legs raised and now > on Tama's shoulders. AKANE: But I thought that the second person had to be facing the ground to be playing wheelbarrow... > He put one knee on the bed, moving his cock between her pussy lips, > getting ready to thrust it in for her first time. AKANE: (putting a hand over her face) I have a couple of questions. RYAN: Shoot. AKANE: If only I had a gun... this is probably the best story we've gotten so far, right? RYAN: Right. AKANE: And we probably can't skip this scene, right? RYAN: Right. AKANE: Damn, just asking. > She threw her hands back, RYAN: These are defective!! I need another set!! > begging for Tama to fuck her. And so Tama did. UKYOU: Quickest sex scene we've had so far. (stands up) Let's go! OSCAR: (over the loudspeaker) Not so fast! It's not over yet, so sit back down! UKYOU: (sits down grumbling) Bastard... > Akane let out a most delightful moan RYAN: Not to be confused with a delightful belch or delightful gas... > as Tama slid his cock into her. He > could feel her pleasure, her legs wrapping around his back, AKANE: The audible snap as his verterbrae was split into two... UKYOU: Akane! AKANE: Sorry, but this story is making me bitter. > her hips pushing on him, her whole body begging for more. Tama slid in and > out of Akane as she screamed "Yes, yes, fuck me harder, harder!! Cum in my > pussy and make me pregnant!" AKANE: (covers her face) Oh god... RYAN: (opens his mouth as if to say something) AKANE: (glares at him, growling) Do you feel lucky... punk? RYAN: (shuts it) No ma'am... > Akane's legs were pushing Tama against her > body, her tits shaking back and forth. RYAN: (watches in awe) Wow... boingy boingy boingy... *THWAP THWAP* OW!! UKYOU/AKANE: Shut up! > Tama fucked Akane for what seemed like an eternity as she screamed in > pleasure, grabbing his neck RYAN: *SNAP* Oh darn! I've done it again... maybe that's why my family nicknamed me "Black Widow"... *THWAP* Ow... that gets old, you know! AKANE: (smiles sweetly) Sorry. I'll use this from now on. (pulls out her mallet and smashes Ryan into his seat) UKYOU: We've only got a few lines left, so let's just get through it, alright? > and almost raising up her whole body off the > bed to get his cock deeper inside. Finally, as Tama felt her cum wet his > cock and balls, Akane collapsed back gasping and moaning. Tama fucked her > for another minute and then he spurted his cum into Akane's virgin cunt. > The two then fell asleep in each other's arms. AKANE: Thank goodness that's over! Akane grabs Ryan, who's unconcious, by the leg and drags him out, Ukyou trailing behind. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Back in the longue, Ryan's sporting a pretty big lump on his head. Seems Ranma and Ryouga are still having their little competition. AKANE: Hmm, looks like Ranma's switched to Riverdancing... UKYOU: And Ryouga's now doing... (blinks) line dancing? RYAN: Aren't they the same? UKYOU: (shrugs) Depends on who you ask. RYAN: Well, that last story wasn't that bad. AKANE: Excuse me?! RYAN: Compared to all the other ones I mean... AKANE: Oh... well, if it wasn't for the fact that I was in there... yeah, I guess you're right. OSCAR: (pops up on the monitor) Is that so? Well, don't worry. You'll have a story that will put all your past accomplishments to shame!! Suck on that! RYAN: I think I'll keep my opinions to myself next time... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Another day, another MSTing. Boy, I'm taking quite a long time between these now... ah well. Let's see, standard ending: To view my MSTings and many other excellent ones, Go to Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings at http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/4007/MSTings.html You'll be glad you did!! This MSTing is dedicated to Melanie, my girlfriend who has given me much help in pre-reading my MSTings and stories, a whole bunch of friends who I throw these on and they still have yet to tar and feather me (I guess they like them! ^_^ Emoticons are our friends! When not overused that is... ), and to the GOOD fanfiction writers out there! These people prove that one can take a series and make a good contribution to it. I salute thee and the net thanks you for your wonderous work! You can all reach me at WHolden535@AOL.COM to tell me how I'm doing. And if you're interested, catch my website at http://members.aol.com/WHolden535/ wacky1.htm! It hasn't been updated since around January, but I'm going to break down and update it... one day. MST3K is copyright of Best Brain's inc. Ranma 1/2 is property of Rumiko Takahashi. Sailor Moon is property of Naoko Takeuchi. And Darkstalkers is property of Capcom. Jaa na, minna-san! "She then opened her pretty lips and deliciously swallowed it whole."