A Christmas Wish Author: Lady Starlight MSTer: Cait Sith Permission: Granted. E-mail Address of MST'er: tristan@syntheticpawn.com WWW: http://www.syntheticpawn.com Legal Mumbo jumbo- Final Fantasy 9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1, MQ, Legend, Tacticts, LegendII, The Turks, Rufus Shinra and all other characters referenced from them are Copyrights of Squaresoft, used without permission under fair usage of parody, granted by the First Commandment. Er, under the First Ammendment. No profit is to be made off this work. And none will. Mystery Science Theater 3000 and all related references, aural, conceptual, physical, metaphysical ideas, are copyrights of Best Brains Inc. Once again used for non-profitable purposes under parody. Consider it more of a tribute ^_^. Finally, "A Christmas Wish" is copyright of Lady Starlight. This is not to be considered a direct attack on the writer, just think of it as another way of C&C. There are a lot worse people who could be doing this. Okay, I lie. I am an evil, evil man, Any other products are copyright of their respective owners. WARNING!!! WARNING!!! This work is of a sexual nature. If you are not of legal age in your current state, country, kingdom, hive, et all, or don't like sexual language, simply run screaming from the computer you are currently on, and pull the power out. It'll be better for us both =End Legal Ass-covering= MSTer's notes: Second lemon! Second release! I have a yaoi fic in progress, but it's so damn long, that I can't do it that quickly, and was losing interest. This one just was BEGGING for it. Then I got permission to do it, so I just HAVE to do it. == Elena sipped her tea carefully. It was her last bag of her herbal tea before she could convince Rufus to send some more up. And that meant she would have to go put on THAT thing to even get his attention. It was so demeaning to wear it around, arching her back in it, posing, stretching like a porn model... The object in question was... The chocobo costume. To demean his Turks for the failure to capture the 9 planeteers, he made sure that if they had to get anything for their personal satisfaction, they'd have to wear the costume, and act as if it was the sexiest thing in the world. "Damn that bastard," Elena said, looking for a cigarette. It was an awful habit she obtained from living on the ShinRa 26 for so long. Nothing but wall to wall cigarettes makes one tired of seeing them. She took one out and lit it, slowly letting the nicotine in her bloodstream when the people that she hated the most called. Extenguishing the freshly lit cigarette, she ran down the hall to the bridge, hoping she wasn't too late. == Elena arrived just on time as Rufus showed up onscreen. "Well, well, It's good to have you here, Ms. Elena," Rufus put on a fake smile. "Get to the point," Elena cringed. All she wanted was to get this over with. "Saucy wench, aren't we? Well, let's get the idea here. I have found another lemon for you three morons," Rufus remarked, his voice turning to a much more sinister tone. "SELF INSERTION STYLE." "Self insertion?!" Reno sputtered. "Yep. Female one to boot!" Scarlet chuckled, one of the first times she was able to be happy that she pleased Rufus. "Alright! Lemme guess, it's with me, right?" Reno grinned. "No." "Oh." Reno looked dejected and sauntered back. "Vincent, or Mr. Vampy-Vampire the Buffy Slayer," Scarlet smiled. Vincent was such the heart-throb in the whole scene of LOVE. No one knew why, but he just was. "Hojo! Push the button!" Rufus yelled. Nothing happened. "Um, sir? He's sick," Scarlet replied meekly. "He called up two days ago." "Oh. Well, TSENG! Push the button." "Yes, sir, right away sir!" Tseng pushed the button. "SIGN FAN FIC HAVING NOW!" Daravon's voice droned. Sirens, klaxons, and various other items went off and the three former Turks slowly walked into the theatre. [door sequence] >Here's the expected warning. Reno: [Author] This fic sucks. Rude: Give it a chance man. Elena: Self-insertion? Reno: Ha! Weren't you doing that last night Elena? Elena: *smacks Reno* Rude: You deserved that. >The following is a lemon fanfic ( blah blah blah). >If you are under age, offended by sexualy graphic material or a >member of the Christian Coalition, TURN BACK NOW!!( blah blah blah). Rude: So does that "blah blah blah" include us? Elena: Unfortunatly not. Reno: I'm a member of that organization! Elena: No, you aren't. >The >names and characters from Final Fantasy VII are owned by Squaresoft.. Reno: *sighs* Elena: What? Reno: It's such a dying breed now... >so don't >sue me. I'm poor...you'll get nothing from me! Mawahahahahaha! Rude: I'm scared. Reno: Me too. Hold me. Rude: ... Yaoi boy. Reno: It was a joke! A JOKE! >Also, the >name "Lady Starlight" comes from the Scorpions ( my fave band) Reno: Who? Rude: A band of some sort. Elena: Better than the "Evangelions". All: *shudder* >...so I hereby give them credit for the name. Elena: [Band members] We want our name back! >Final Quick Note: This story was originally written for my friend Teka ( >hence her character in the story) Rude: Wait a second... She wrote a self insertion story of herself to a friend? Elena: Apparently. Rude: That's cruel... >Any comments or suggestions ( no flames) should be adressed to >LadyStarlightV@aol.com. This was one of my first attempts of writing a non >violent lemon. Enjoy! Elena: So she has a bunch of VIOLENT lemons? Rufus: [Over intercom] You have GOT to find those, Scarlet.. I don't care how much it costs! You MUST! I left it on.. Oh sh-*static* Rude: ... I'm not impressed. [MSTer's note - Gap shortened] > "A Christmas Wish"-by Lady Starlight Reno: I had one of those once... Elena: A Christmas wish? Reno: Yeah. It was to get quite drunk and to get some. Rude: Too bad he passed out. Reno: I DID NOT! I fell asleep! Elena: *blinks* Sure you did... Sure you did. And I bet you got some... Although not in the way that you were PLANNING... Or were you? Reno: ... >The spirit of Christmas was very much alive in Costa Del Sol. Reno: Call the ghostbusters then. Rude: Which ones? Reno: The ones from the movie. You know, Bill Murray and stuff? Rude: Oh. >For several >weeks, everyone helped transform Cloud's villa into a winter wonderland. Rude: Which was difficult due to the whole tropical aspect of Costa Del Sol.. Elena: Get out the dry ice... >Now >it was Christmas Eve, and everyone was rushing about fine tuning last minute >details. Reno: I want those tires at 24 psi and the engine to be in PEAK performance! Rude: Lame, buddy... Lame! Reno: I'm trying here... I'm trying! Elena: *sighs* >Barret had taken Marlene out caroling in the hopes the young girl >would tire out long enough for Santa to make his appearance. Reno: [Barret] What about Marlene! You're jes full of suprises! Elena: I know where Barret was making an appearence at... Rude: Where's that? Elena: To the end of a bottle. Reno: [Barret] Damn Shinra! >Cait Sith had cheerfully agreed to tag along with them. Rude: Get rid of extra characters without being TOO mean. Elena: Cheerful? I think Mr. Reeve has been doing those drugs a little too much. Rude: [Reeve] I swear! I'm not doing any sort of...*twitch* illegal chemicals! >Nanaki and Yuffie were spending >the holidays with their respective families and had already left. Elena: [Yuffie] But DAAAAAAD! I don't wanna wear that! Reno: [Godo] No. You wear traditonal Wutai women's formal wear or it's college classes for you! Elena: [Yuffie] Okay! Okay! I'll wear it! >Meanwhile, >Cloud, Tifa, Cid and Teka were preparing to attend a formal Christmas party >and weren't expected back until much later that evening. Reno: IfyaknowwhatImean.... Elena: Wink wink, nudge nudge! Rude: .... Tifa... That better just be a dinner party. Reno: Teka? Who's that? Elena: I belive it's her friend. Rude: The one she wrote this story for? Elena: Apparently. Reno: That's one weird friend... >For those of you keeping score at home , All: Not us! > that left only Lady Starlight and Vincent at home with nothing to do. Rude: Woah... Run that by me again? > that left only Lady Starlight and Vincent at home with nothing to do. Rude: I didn't mean it LITERALLY! Tseng: [From Intercom] Sorry! Sorry! Elena: And we have self-insertion. Reno: I'm willing to be there was a lot of THAT going on during the writing of this story... Rude: Reno, no. Bad Reno. >Star had planned to visit with some old >friends, but the look on Vincent's face caused her to change her plans. Reno: Face? What face! He hides it like a wimp! Rude: We know you were hitting on him.... Reno: He's a little ol- HEY! Elena: Heehee! Yaoi boy! Reno: Shut up. >Her best friend seemed very concerned and very much alone. All: SO LONELY. Reno: Where did that come from? Elena: I don't know, very spontanious. Rude: Let's keep up with the tour group, guys. Vincent HAD no friends. Elena: Yeah he did, he had five of them, Rosy O'Palm and her... Reno: Cut that out! >Star came to the >conclusion that he was depressed over having to spend another holiday without >Lucreica, Rude: Clone of Hojo's woman, Lucrecia. Elena: That's such an old joke. Rude: You do something better. Elena: Fine! I will! Rude: Good! >and being the good friend she was (not to mention the fact that she >was desperately in love with him as well-although she would never admit it), Elena: Eh, he's not bad, but I mean, there's a lot better guys to be all over. Reno: Oh yeah? Like me, right? Elena: *rolls eyes* Yeah, like you. Sure. Vincent's just a little too "I AM VAMPIRE, HEAR ME MOURN." for me. Rude: That's a good one. >she abandoned that plan and was there if he felt the need to talk about >anything. Rude: Politics? Reno: Booze? Elena: Exotic weaponry made from moogle skulls? >At long last, everyone was ready to leave for the party. Elena: Best part of a party... Going home. Rude: Well, I usually don't remember THAT part. Reno: Neither do I. Elena: Your livers must hate you. >For a moment Star >could have sworn she witnessed a silent signal pass between Teka and her >brother but she dismissed it as nothing. Reno: [Teka] Psst! Hey brother! You have to sleep with her tonight! I get the night off from her! Hehe! Rude: Hey Tseng! Did Vinny ever have a sister? Tseng: [Intercom] Negative, Rude. Rude: Figures. Elena: Down boy, I don't think we've gotten to the real meat yet. Reno: Meat between his... Elena: *clocks Reno* >After everyone had left, Vincent >sat down on one side of the couch and started to brood. Reno: [Vincent] Waah, people don't like my Christian Death t-shirt. Boo hoo! Rude: Wait a second... How do you know about that gothy band? Reno: *shrugs* Saw it in a catalog. Or something. Elena: You're weird, Reno. Real weird. >Concerned, Star sat down near him and watched him. Elena: [Nature host] Here we have a Vincent Valentine in his natural habitat, mourning to himself in a way that is still quite unexplainable to us all... Like why can't he get over his problems? >"Do you feel like talking about it?" she asked, gently. Reno: [Vincent] *sniffle* Yes, I do. I feel so unhappy. So lonely. So tired. Good night! ZZZzzz... >Startled, Vincent looked up to see his friend there, obviously worried about >something. Rude: [Vincent] Aaack! My heart! Don't startle me like that! *wheeze* I'm an old man! >"It's nothing. Elena: He's a guy, it's always SOMETHING. >But thanks for asking. Reno: Your parting gifts will be the following: A free back massage from Jimmy of "Guts And Stuff" butcher shop! He might even wash his hands if you're lucky! >By the way, nice outfit," he kidded. Rude: Vincent? Do that?! I don't think so! I think he'd be more concerned about his own looks... >In an attempt to secure some extra holiday cash, Star was working part time >as a Santa's helper down at the local mall Elena: I did that. Once. As a covert operation sting. Rude: Liar. I checked your record, rookie, you did that to try to get a boyfriend. Reno: Heh heh heh, going a little young there Elena? Elena: You both are horrible! I swear it was a sting! >Her "uniform" consisted of a >clingly red and white velvet mini-dress, complete with Santa hat and white >boots. Rude: Aww, I thought that Santa's helpers wore black robes and chanted to pentagrams. Reno: Jinglebells for me! Elena: You think that this is actually an accurate portrayal of what she would wear, or is it merely character talk? That is the question. Reno: If it's real, I'd do her. *takes one of Elena's cigarettes* >From the first time she put it on, Star had come to the conclusion >that the dress designer had been "a drunken, perverted elf." Rude & Elena: *look at Reno* Reno: WHAT?! >Star rewarded him with a dark look. "You're not funny, you know." Elena: Vincent's a friggen LAUGH RIOT! He's FUNNY-AS-HELL!! I SWEAR! Reno: Okay, I think you're over-stretching your boundries there. Elena: He's so funny though! Almost as funny-as-hell as Mark! Reno: Elena, SHUT UP. Rude: 40 bonus points for someone who actually gets that. >"Of course I am. Elena: *grins smugly* I was right! >Why else have you put up with me all these years?" Reno: Oh my... Imagine being locked in a coffin with HER for fourty years? Rude: No wonder he's all angsty. I'd be too. Hell, I'd be suicidal! Elena: You're just jealous that he HAS fans. Oh wait, you two have fans.. OF YOU TWO TOGETHER! *laughs* Reno and Rude: *sink in their chairs* >Rather than go with the answer that immediately sprang into her mind, which >was Rude: [Star] I want to steal your hair one night while you are sleeping! Reno: That's YOUR dream, man! Rude: No, I shave my head. Elena: Shut up! Both of you! Everyone knows that her dream is; "I want to have your most lovely collection of automatic and semi-automatic weaponry!" >"Because you're a total babe and it's taking all my will power not to >leap across this couch and jump on you," All: *grimace* Elena: Okay, I think I'd rather NOT have this kind of fan... Rude: Two words, Vinny. Restraining Order. Reno: *meekly* Baah, Ram, Ewe? *extentuishes cigarette* >Star opted for the safer, generic answer of Rude: "Not tonight honey, I've got a headache." Reno: "I don't think we're ready for that kind of relationship." Elena: "You got the juice? I got the cash!" >"Well, what else are best friends for? If not to put up with each >other's crappy jokes." Rude: To get drunk together! Reno: To slack off from work! Elena: To have those yaoi stories written about you. Rude: *grumbles* >"You've got a point there." Reno: [Star] And it's pitching a tent.. Elena: Reno... Reno: What? Elena: That was MY line! >Star grinned. "Of course I do! Why else have you put up with ME all these >years?" Rude: [Vincent] I didn't. You suck. I left you for something I could never have. Reno: I guess Vinny's right hand is the reason... Elena: That's over the edge... Reno: And what are you going to do about it? Elena: Nothing. >Finally, Vincent seemed to pull out of his bleakness. Reno: May you rise from your grave! Rude: [Vincent] I am the party hat of the night! Blaah! >"Simple, I took pity on you!" Elena: Joy! Reno: I can feel my brain getting dumber. >Star raised an eyebrow. Oh ho, Rude: Star is Naga? Reno: There's something I wouldn't mind if I was in the Vamp's situation. Elena: Er.. No. > so he wanted to trade old childhood insults, did he? Rude: Er, how old is Ms. Star supposed to be anyways? Reno: Yeah, wasn't Vinny locked up for a while? Elena: Shh.. You'll only hurt your brains more. *rubs Rude's head* Rude: ... Don't do that. Only I may shine my head. >Weellllllll....... All: *cough* GET TO THE POINT. >" Oh yeah, well your mom pays me to be friends with you!! By the way, tell >her she's late with this month's check!!" Reno: Rimshot please... *yawns* >"Really now? Well, whatever's she paying, I'll double it if you leave me >alone!" he kidded right back. Elena: We're laughing. Really. We are. HA fricken HA. *lights cigarette* >Tiring of the game, the two friends sat back. laughing. Reno: About the amount of people they had just killed. Rude: How many? Reno: *shrugs* Did Vincent ever run out of ammo? Rude: I don't think so... >Suddenly, an uncomfortable silence fell across them as the laughter ceased. Rude: *yawns* Reno: *looks around the room* Elena: Well, are we going to have ANY action around here? >Star studied Vincent out of the corner of her eye. Reno: [Star] Hmm... He seems to be wearing... Pants. Rude: [Star] I'll be changing THAT soon as I have my way! Hyuck, hyuck, hyuck! Elena: Um, Rude? Rude: What? Elena: Since when did she laugh like that? Rude: I don't know. Seemed appropriate. >"Why does my best friend have to look >like that," she wailed silently to herself, Rude: Because he was made to be like that, oh yes. Reno: You should've seen him BEFORE his coffin experience! >"and why does he have to be so damn blind to how I feel? Elena: Well, it's simple my dear, he's OBSESSED with Lucrecia. Much like how I _WAS_ obsessed with Tseng. Rude: You got over him? Elena: Yeah. He was a lousy conversationalist. Tseng [intercom]: No, I dumped your bubble-head butt for someone much better. Elena: *sobs quietly* Reno: That's cruel, man, really cruel. >For that matter, why can't I just open up and say >it?!" Eventually, she found her voice and spoke. Elena: *sniffles* [Star] Welcome to Burger World, would you like to try an extra-value meal? >"Uh, all kidding aside, can I ask you something?" Reno: [Vincent] Can you? I'm sure you posess the vocal cords to ask, but may you? Absolutely not. >Vincent looked at her for a moment. Elena: [Vincent] You have a piece of salad stuck in your teeth. >"Of course, Haven't we always been able to tell each other everything?" Rude: [Vincent] Well, except for that little fling I had with Tseng... Tseng: [Intercom] Hey! I deny all allegations of that. >"Not everything," she though quickly to herself, as the heat ran across her >face. Elena: Isn't love sweet? Reno: *shrugs* Not really. Rude: ... Elena (quietly): Yeah, I know... >" Most everything, yeah. But this is different." Reno: Enough with the yapping, and start the slapping! >"Well, I can't answer if you don't tell me." Rude: Oh, a wise guy, eh?! Nyuck nyuck nyuck! >Star took a deep breath before she started. "Do you ever get lonely?" All: SO LONELY. Rude: There that is again! Where does it come from? Elena: [Vincent] I run an E/N website. Does that answer your question? Reno and Rude: AAACK! That's where it comes from! KEEP IT AWAY! >Vincent frowned, as if he didn't understand the question. "What do you mean? > All my friends are here in the villa. How could I be lonely?" Elena: Well Vinny, you sort of perch on top of the roof every night. Rude: You suppose he's ever fallen off? Reno: [Vincent] Ow, I fell down again. I belive I broke my spinal column. >Star felt the blush deepen as she forced the next statement out. "I don't >mean that kind of lonely. I....I meant lonely as in.... Reno: So much lonely, so little time. It's better to be depressed and read trashy goth novels. Rude: You did that, Yaoi boy? Reno: No, just making an example. >Cloud and Tifa lonely or Teka and Cid lonely." Rude: [Vincent] Well now that you mention it, no. I can turn the sensors off on my hand and... Elena: Enough. >Vincent's usually pale features whitened even further as he understood what >she was asking of him. Reno: [Brain] Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Pinky? Rude: [Pinky] Narf! I think so Brain, but where are we going to find fourty boxes of freeze dried meat on a Tuesday? Elena: *shakes her head and mumbles to herself* >For a long moment, he couldn't look at her as he >wrestled with whatever he was thinking. Rude: TOM DYRON'S GONNA F DIS THOUGHT UP! Elena: Fourth Wall.... Reno: HELL YEAH! DA DRAGON DON'T WORRY 'BOUT NO WALL! Elena: *lights up again* I hate you both. Reno & Rude: *laugh* >Finally, he forced himself to look at her. Rude: Despite the fact that she was missing half her teeth. It was a disgusting sight to see the decay that her skin had gone through over the last twenty years. >Haltingly, he began.. Elena (singing): Now this is a story about a man named Al who lived in the forest with his hampster pal and- *Rude turns to Elena* Rude: Silence! >" If you mean, do I miss being with.....of course, I get lonely." Reno: Like how lonely? >Bitterly, he raised his metalic claw. Elena: [Vincent] Remind me not to chew asprin again. Blech. Reno: [Vincent] Yes, this is my claw. I use it to open walnuts. >"Despite my appearance, I am human, after all." Rude: [Vincent] I'm becoming less human. Reno: Let's just hope it doesn't go to PJ's level with Tifa on beastial Vinny. Rude: ... *shudders* >Star immediately slid over closer to her best friend and carefully placed her >hand in his metalic one. Elena: ZAP! My hand! Oww! >" If you don't hate me for asking that, can I ask >you something else?" Reno: [Vincent] What do I look like, the freakin' encyclopedia?! Huh?! Punk?! Rude: *sighs and stretches* Must we go through this crap? >Vincent smiled and gave her a soft look. " I could never hate you. What's >the next question?" Rude: [Star] Why did I find you in bed with Reno last night?! Reno: ... Elena: Seen it. Read it. Wasn't too bad. Rude & Reno: *stare at Elena* >Star slowly pulled away from him as she rose to her feet. "Honestly, am I >ugly or would you concider me cute? Be brutally honest with me if you have >to." Rude: [Vincent] Do I have to answer that question? Elena: Hehe! It's a TRICK, Vincent! A TRICK! >Stunned by her request, Vincent's gaze took his friend in. He took note of >her long straight ebony hair and her large expressive hazel-brown eyes. Reno: So she looks like Vinny? Rude: I wouldn't be suprised. >He >allowed his eyes to roam over her lush body, which was only enhanced by the >tight dress. Rude: Tifa's better. Elena: Tifa's better than everyone to you. Rude: Well it's true! >Finally, he looked to her face as he spoke, his voice shaking >ever so slightly. Rude: [Vincent] You're not a man. I don't want you now. Elena: [Vincent] Duh.. Swimming pools? >"You said be honest, right?" > >Star found herself trembling under his scrutiny. " Brutal." Reno: [Star] Take me now, you jungle savage! >Vincent took a deep breath. "You're not cute.....," he trailed off. Elena: Way to go Vinny! Rude: Yeah! Tell it the way it is! >Crushed, Star turned around before he could see her tears. "Thanks for the >truth. It helps.." Reno: Much like how slamming your head against the wall helps a headache. Rude: Hey, I told you not to do that. Reno: I was a bit tipsy. Elena: *sighs* Ugh. >"Star, turn around." All: And you turn yourself around... That's what it's all about! >Gulping, Star did as she was requested and forced herself to look at Vincent. > >"You're not cute....you're beautiful." All: AWWW! *Reno gags* Elena: This is just so sweet. I think I'm getting cavities. Rude: Goth romance at it's heart. Reno: He was just a little vampire who needed some love. >Shocked at his words, Star felt herself sink to the safety of the couch, >where Vincent immediately held her close to him. Elena: [Star] Um, Vincent, your sufficating me... Um, let me out! Please?! >For a while, Star relished she strenght she sought being close to him, yet >wondered why his very nearness was draining her at the same time. Reno: [Vincent] I am taking your LOOOOVE energy! >Finally, >she forced herself back to look into his deep eyes as she made herself say >what was on her mind before she chickened out. Elena: [Star] Well, thanks for your opinion hon, I'm off to hit on Teka. Reno: [Homer Simpson] Has the whole world gone gay? Rude: [Akio] I'm working on it... Elena: Now THAT was obscure! >" That's so nice to hear. It will make this next thing I have to say easier. > I have a ....proposal of sorts for you. Rude: [Star] Can we have sex now? Reno: [Star] I mean really, Just hurry up. >I don't expect this to mean we're >together or anything like that and you know I'm not the posessive type >but........" she stopped, embarassed to continue. Elena: [Star] Er, can I have your cloak? It's really pretty. >"Star, what are you trying to say?" Reno: [Star] I can't love you, as my heart belongs to someone else. Rude: [Vincent] Oh no, my dear! Who might that be? Reno: *grins* [Star] Tifa.... I just cannot love a man like I can her... Rude: *punches Reno* [Vincent] That's okay. I wanted Reno anyways. I've been sleeping with him for the last four years or so. Reno: *rubs his arm* Hey, not so hard man... Rude: Lay off the Lady. >Star took a deep breath and waited for the bolt of lightning she was sure was >going to strike her dead for her thoughts. Reno: [God] I don't like you. DIRTY THINKING! >"If you ever starting >feeling...lonely...like you said, you can always.....use...me.. I wouldn't >mind." Rude: [Vincent] Use her, eh? Well, I could use a new forearm and hand. Elena: What a way to put out. Reno: [Vincent] Get in line. >Vincent could scarcely believe what he was hearing. Reno: Lemme put it in English for you, Vinny, she wants to go f- Rude: Reno, No. >Slowly, he began. >"Did..did I just hear you right? It sounded like...like you just offered me >your body." Elena: [Vincent] A duh-duh-duh?! >" I did. I'm sorry......it was a stupid idea! God, I'm so embarassed!!" Reno: Hey, when did she become Yuffie? >Star exploded into fresh tears. All: Waaah waah waaah! >Quickly, Vincent held Star close again, marveling at what she had just done. Rude: [Vincent] I am SUCH a stud-muffin! >For long minutes, if was all he could do to rock her gently back and forth as >she cried herself out. Elena: Suck it up, girl. You're not going to impress him doing that. Rude: What she said. At least Elena didn't whine when she found Tseng in bed with Scarlet. Reno: Yeah, she just ripped off his- Elena: No. >When at last she calmed down slightly, he pulled her >back and forced her to look at him. Rude: Now I said, look, boy! I said look here, boy! >"Star, don't feel that way. What you just did, the magnitude of it, I >mean....nobody has every said anything that meaningful to me before. Elena: [Vincent] Well, besides Lucrecia, Tifa, Aeris, Scarlet, Hojo, Rufus, Reeve, Cloud, Cid, Rude, Reno, Yuffie.... Rude: Your name isn't in there. Elena (narrows eyes): I know. >You must care a lot to have made such an offer." Reno: [Vincent] Heh heh heh, chicks dig this stuff up. >She nodded, figuring to hold back now would be stupid. " I have cared...for >a long time now." Elena: [Star] Would you like good love? I LIKE GOOD LOVE! >"How long?" Reno: Twelve i- Rude: Reno, NO. Reno: Oh pooh. >"Since we were still hanging out. Elena: On the trees. >Before you left home and became a Turk." > >Again, Vincent was floored by her words. Rude: Vincent's engine reved up to 8000 RPM redline.... Reno: Why do you get to make the car jokes? Rude: Because, you suck. Elena: He sure does. *giggles* > "Why on earth didn't you ever tell me?" Elena: [Star] Well, it's an easy answer. I heard all that moaning and stuff and assumed you were having the neighbors over again. >Star turned her head slightly. " How was I suppose to say THAT to my best >friend? I figured you would think of me as another sister." Reno: Never mind how kinky it would be if they got together... Rude: ... Elena: If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the family! That's Cloud's motto! Rude: ... >He stared at her for a long moment before he picked up the conversation again. Rude: [Vincent, thinking] How am I going to talk to her with those hairs on her upper lip? >"Umm Star? There's something you need to know...." > >Star turned back to face him. Elena: [Vincent] I prefer the company of men. Reno: [Homer Simpson] Who doesn't?! Rude: Apparently not you... Reno: ... >" Me, too. I mean...I felt the same about you, too. I was afraid you'd >laugh at me, so I never said anything either." All: *cough* *hack* *cough* Reno: Yeah, RIGHT! >"What?!" Rude: SAY WHAT AGAIN! I DARE YOU TO! Reno: You cleaned that up. Rude: Let's just say I don't feel like getting ejected. >" That's the main reason I left home. I figured I would never find the >words to tell you, so I got scared and left. The next thing I knew, I was a >Turk. *All three Turks look at each other* Reno: Is there something wrong with that? Rude: You don't just fall into this position. Elena: Don't I know THAT. >You know the rest of the story. I was still thinking about you when I >met Lucrecia......." All: *cough*BULL*cough* >Star took in all he had to say. Finally, she took a slow breath. "And >now......?" Rude: You think that there are enough periods in this fic? Reno: Who knows? Maybe the author was- Elena: You make that one comment and it's the chocobo suit for you! >Vincent held her closer. " I think we've wasted enough time, don't you?" he >whispered. Reno: Go Vincent! Go! You're just so smooth! >Trembling, Star could only nod her agreement. After a moment, Vincent pulled >her away so as to look into her eyes. Rude: [Star] Guh.. Guuuh.. Guuhh.. Pretty boy... Guh... >"Is that offer still open?' he asked, a wicked glint in his eyes. Reno: [Vincent] I'm a naughty boy! Naughty, naughty, naughty! >Amused, Star nodded. > >"Good." With that, Vincent scooped Star up and carried her upstairs. Elena: [Vincent, singing] I'm going to get some! I'm going to get some! >"Where are you going?!" she asked, laughingly. Reno: [Vincent] My palace of looooooooooooove! >" My room. Reno: *shrugs* More or less same place. Rude: I bet you've been there a few times, eh? Is he your FRIEND OF FRIENDS? Reno: Shut up. Just SHUT UP! >Unless you perfer to run the risk of getting caught downstairs?" Elena: [Star] But then Cid and Cloud can't join in! >"Hmmm. good point. Lead on." Rude: Now that's ROMANCE. Reno: Game on! >After what seemed an eternity, they reached his room. With an unceremonious >kick, Rude: BOOT TO THE HEAD! Reno: Rude is.. TOM DYRON. Rude: Naww, that would require me to wear my official NIN AND SKATEBOARDING RULES! socks, made by OSIRIS. >Vincent opened the door and gently deposited his cargo on the middle of >his bed. All: Plop. Elena: [Star] Oww! My head! Now I'll never be a teen model! >"Don't even think of moving! I'll be right back." Reno: [Star] But I have to potty! Elena: [Vincent] I SAID NO MOVING. *Boom* Rude: And thus ends our lemon. >On that note, Vincent >turned and left Star alone with her feelings for a minute. Elena: Honey, I've had that happen before... HE ISN'T COMING BACK! Rude: Ah yes, Elena's dating life, blown open for the world to see. Elena: Er, can I take that back? Reno: No. >Soon, she could make out the sounds of him rumaging downstairs. Reno: [Vincent] Orthopedic underwear, silk dress, bikini briefs... >After a minute, he returned, >armed with two glasses and the champagne bottle Tifa had placed in the fridge >that morning. Reno: [Tifa] Heh heh, have fun tonight, Vinny... Rude: The worst part is, is that Tifa would do that. >Placing his find on the dresser, he soon joined Star on the >bed. Elena: [Vincent] This should be at least worth fifty gil. >"Is it Christmas yet?" he asked her in a soft voice. >"Not yet. You've still have time. Why?" Reno: [Vincent] Well, I forgot to tell you. I don't celebrate Christmas. >Vincent drew her to him again as he whispered in her ear. " I want to unwrap >my gift now, not later." All: LET THE LEMON..... BEGIN! *Elena sounds gong* Rude: What will Morimoto cook up today in today's tentacle based battle? Reno: I think the challenger will be sticking to his traditional Kyoto method of cooking today, using the plain sauce, rather than the untraditional method of Morimoto! >Sighing with Elena: -boredom, like the readers of this. >anticipation, Star sunk back against the pillows as at long last >their lips met for the first time. Reno: Well, the first time that his lips went to that pair of- Elena: That hasn't happened. Yet... Reno: True. Although... Never mind. Rude: We know that Reno's had Vincent. Reno: I deny all claims. >A soft gasp tore from her throat as his >tongue sweetly, yet insistantly, probed her mouth. Rude: [Vincent] You know, dentist tools are not made for the tongue. >As Star clung to both Vincent and her grasp on reality, Elena: I lost that a long time after I came here. *extenguishes cigarette* >she felt his hand slowly slide under the >skirt of her dress. She moaned his name into his lips as he found what he >was searching for. Reno: His missing set of socks! Rude: Wouldn't that have stopped the gushing? Elena: You're describing it like she lost her leg. Reno: So you're saying she's- Elena: No. >Deftly, he managed to slide her panties, already soaked, All: OFF COURSE! Reno: Typical women. You touch 'em once and they sop up like a diaper. Elena: Need to get some sponges there... Wait... What am I saying?! Rude: You're becoming one of us. Elena: *shrugs* Oh well. >away from her hips to her ankles. With a quick movement, the garment lay on >the floor. Rude: Damn he's smooth! Reno: [Vincent] I'm just pretending to do what I do with Cid. Elena: Cid?! Oh. My. God. Rude was always right about you! Reno: Guh? Elena: You friggen YAOI BOY! >Continuing his assault on her lips, Reno: Delta team, I need back up on the left flank! Go! Go! Go! Elena: Since when were you Mr. Military? Reno: *shrugs* > Vincent intensified the kiss, >lowering himself onto the bed with her. Telling her to open her eyes and >look at him, he locked his gaze with hers as he deliberately slowly eased his >fingers into her warm flesh. Elena: Needless to say, removing her colon was much easier than the books told him. Reno: Yuck. >The movement send spasms of pure desire firing >through Star as she felt him inside her. Rude: Okay, I think someone needs to get out more. Reno: I'd be tempted to agree. Elena: *sniffles* Stop making fun of me. Rude: ... Reno: ... >The combination of the kiss and >feeling him manipulate her prooved Elena: *giggles* >too much for her, for soon Star felt >herself exploding all over his fingers. Rude(Yelling): BOOM! Reno: For that beefy, juicy, taste! Snap into a Starlight! Elena: *makes a face* Eww... You do know what you were just saying. Reno: Oh yeah, you're right. It should taste like- Rude: Enough. Reno: Now did he use his claw- Rude: ENOUGH. *thwacks Reno* >Ever so carefully, he extracted himself and gazed lovingly at her. Elena: If he licks his fingers, I'm going to toss my cookies. Rude: And why's that? Elena: ... I'll leave that for your shiny head to figure out. Rude: Uh-huh. Sure. *shakes head* >" What's the rush for? We've got all night and I 'm not nearly finished with >you yet," he murmured seductively to his best friend. Reno: [Vincent] I'm going to tie you up, and saw your arms and legs off, my pretty pretty Star. Oh, yes. Rude: Please, I don't need reminders of that site. Elena: What site? Rude: You don't wanna know. Let's just call it DEADLY, and doesn't bring any JOY to us. *shudders* Elena: *raises eyebrow* >All Star could do by way of answer was to moan with unbridled lust as he >continued to torment her. Rude: [Vincent] Moan for me baby, MOAN! >Helping her to a sitting position, he soon had the >velet dress pulled over her head. Reno: I could say something incredibly naughty about that, but I won't. Rude: You can't think of anything, can you? Reno: Oh yes, I can. Rude: Liar. >With trembling fingers, he finally managed >to undo the clasp on her bra. Elena: [Queen of Hearts] OFF WITH HER BRA! Rude: *looks at Elena strangely* You okay? Elena: Fine... Fine... >An involuntary sigh escaped him as he slid it >off her shoulders. Reno: [Vincent] Can't wait to put it on! >Soon it joined the pile of clothes on the floor. Rude: The sigh or the bra? Reno: Be cool if it was the sigh, I think. >It took >every ounce of restraint Vincent pocessed to keep him from savagely feasting >upon her breasts, her nipples alreasy swollen, aching to be loved. Elena: [Nipples, singing] Love me, love me, saaay that you love me! Reno: I'm assuming they've graduated from the INS. Rude: INS? Reno: Inflamed Nipple School. Rude: That was lame beyond description, Reno. >Instead, >he pulled away slightly from her just long enough to tear his own clothes off >as if they were on fire. Reno: Who ever knew goth boy was so into it? I'd figure he'd keep the cape on. Rude: That's because you asked him to that night. Elena: *gives a sick grin* Reno: Leave me alone. I get more than you ever will! Elena: That's true. *pouts* >Teasingly commanding her to lie back again, Vincent >grabbed a glass from the dresser and handed it to Star. The "pop" of the Reno: Hy- Rude: No. Reno: You're too fast. >cork Reno: Knew it was too early for that kind of stuff... Elena: Not by much though. >was the only sound in the room by this point. As he extended the bottle >towards her, Star leaned foward with the glass. Elena: Drinkie drinkie! My how I'd love to have a few bottles of that on board here... Reno & Rude: *look at each other and frown* > Vincent, however, had other plans in mind. Reno: [Vincent] Think I could fit this bottle- Elena: RENO! That's WRONG. Reno: *grins* That's not what you were yelling last night. Elena: Oh please. You couldn't get a woman if you TRIED. Reno: I doubt that. I've seen self insertion fics with ME before! Rufus [Intercom]: Find those, Hojo! Scarlet [Intercom]: He's still sick, Sir. Rufus [Intercom]: Oh... And who in the hell left this thing on? I'm- Rude: I hate them. >At first, he aimed for the glass. Rude: [Vincent] I'm going to have to get REALLY drunk to do THIS one... Reno: Eh, you never know.. He could be actually wanting her. Rude: This is- Reno: - Wait a second, this is VINCENT here. He's the one who's main intrest is cleaning his guns. And I mean MAIN intrest. Elena: [Vincent] Oooooh FAMAS.... Soo pretty.... Fully automatic.. Damn those Frenchmen! They get that beautiful rifle! Too bad it makes them look like hunchbacks! Hehe! Hunchbacks of Notre Dame! Reno: Um, Elena, are you sure you're not talking about yourself there? Elena: I'm sure! I'm sure! >But at the last minute, >with another wicked gleam in his eye, Vincent "accidently" tipped the bottle, >spilling the golden liquid all over her body. Elena: This reeks of late night Cinemax porn. Rude: And you know this because? Elena: And you've never seen it? C'mon! Everyone has! Even my MOTHER has! Reno: And apparently the author has too. Rude: I deny watching that crap. It's HORRIBLE. Elena: Then how you know it's horrible? Rude: ... >Star gasped as the coldness hit her. Reno: I guess they didn't go to INS. >A moment later she gasped again, only >with delight this time as his lips caught in the hollow of her throat as he >began to Elena: -sink his fangs deeply into her neck and begin to suck the blood out. Reno: Oookay. Elena: Vincent. Vampire. Go together. Reno: Yeah. >ever so slowly lick away every last trace of the champagne from her. Rude: *makes slurping noises* Reno: [Vincent] Mmmmm... Cheap champagne, my favorite! > It was all she could do to lie back as her mind set off for a destination >she had never reached before. Rude: Err, I think she's taking this sex a little bit to far? I mean what about the obvious route on "Setting sail to that destination"? Reno: That's a question for the ages. Elena: ... >A soft cry of desire ripped through her as he >made his way finally to her breasts, Reno: The cry tearing through her ribcage, splitting her torso open in half. >his lips playfully grazing one nipple >while his fingers gently teased the other one. Elena: [Fingers] Nyaah nyaah! Your mother was ugly! >After spending long moments >there, Vincent re-concentrated his efforts and slid hs tongue lower and lower >still until his head was buried between her legs. Reno: *sighs* So sad to know that our friend Vincent has buried himself. Rude: [Vincent] Look everyone! I'm an ostrich! >Star managed a good 5 or 6 inch Elena: -peni- Rude: Heh heh heh, I wonder what the rest of THAT one was? Elena: I've been with you two for too long. >leap into the air as she first felt him >gently probing her with his warm mouth. Finding her voice at last, she began >to repeat a single plea over and over. Reno: *yawns* Oh baby, oh baby, oh baby. *stretches* >Intrigued, Vincent forced himself to >cease his attack on her and looked up to gaze into her love-drugged eyes. Elena: [Star] Oh man... I got to lay off the crack-cocaine... >"What was that you said? I couldn't hear you," All: ATARI TEENAGE RIOT! > he teased, having heard her loud and clear. Elena: Well duh, he wasn't deaf. >"Ummm..please.....please.....ohhh please...." Reno: You'll get nothing from begging! >"Please...what?" he gently demanded of her, not letting her off lightly for a >moment. Reno: [Star] Please buy me that pony daddy! I'll brush it all day! >"Please......don't do this to me... please. I'm asking nicely." Rude: [Star] I really am! Aren't I KAWAII? Reno: ... Elena: ... Reno: Yuck. Rude: I apologize for that remark. >Her impassioned plea fell on deaf ears. "Don't do what?" Reno: [Star] Don't jump Vincent! I don't want you to die just yet! >"......Leave me like this. I want....you. Please.....I want to feel you >inside me. Please..," she moaned, unable to complete her thought. Rude: Geezus, Vincent. Screw her already... Just get her to SHUT UP! >Pretty much at the breaking point himself, Reno: From what? Elena: *shrugs* Trashy lemon writing? Rude: This has to be the most unarousing thing I've read for a while. Elena True. Although from the amount of reading you do on checking up on Reno's status... Rude: ... > Vincent leaned over her and >prepared to oblidge her. He gave her a look of infinite love as he spoke. Elena: [Vincent] Our new curly fries are a hot seller! Would you like some? They're CURLY! >"Well, why didn't you say something earlier?" he teased her gently. Rude: TEASE! Reno: *mumbles something* >Star grinned shyly at him as way of responce. Moments later, she winced >slightly as she felt him attempt to penatrate her. Reno: [Vincent] Sorry! Wrong hole! Elena: Ew. Just ew. >Confused as to what was wrong, he entered her again, Reno: [Star] Uh, Vincent, it doesn't fit in my ear... Rude: [Vincent] Sorry! Sorry! Been a really long time since I've done this with something outside of a goat. >again only getting a few inches before he could >get no further. Reno: It's not THAT strong. >Belatedly, Vincent understood what was wrong and pulled >himself up to a kneeling position. > >"Why didn't you tell me?" Rude: [Star] You never asked! >A furious blush stormed across her features. "That I'm a virgin? Does that >bother you?" Reno: Well of course it does! Rude: Why's that? Reno: It does! It just does! I mean, how long has she been waiting? Elena: *glares* Don't you guys have any respect for being celebate? Reno: ... Rude: ... *Reno and Rude burst out laughing* Elena: *shakes head* Men. >All the love he had for her increased tenfold Rude: Not just eightfold, not ninefold, but a full TEN TIMES! >as he was again reminded of the >magnitude of her feelings for him. "Bother me?! Of course not. You've just >shown me you trust me enough to let me be your first lover. Elena: [Sings] If you wanna be my lover... Reno: *sighs* How trite. >Nothing is >bothering me...except I don't want to hurt you too badly this first time." Rude: Get it over with. One bullet is all you need Vinny. It wouldn't hurt at all. >A soft light framed her face. Elena: [Star] I am your god, Vincent. Bow down before my lighting skills! >" I trust you. But....can we wait on...this >for a minute longer." Reno: *yawns* >"Of course. All: OFF COURSE! >Star, you don't have to rush this if you're scared. I'm willing >to wait for you if you're not ready." Rude: Dammit. You think this thing would be over by now? Reno: Eh, it's typical female writing. Elena: And you know a lot about that too, don't you? Rude: *chuckles* Well he is quite a target. Elena: Heh heh. Reno: Don't you think that bit is getting old? Rude: Never. >A wicked smirk stole across her lips as she gave Vincent a quick kiss. "But >that's not why I want to wait." Reno: [Star] I just want to draw out this fic as LONG as possible! >Vincent arched an eyebrow at her as he spoke. "So then WHY do you want to >wait?" Elena: [Star] So I can make sure I get this on tape. Then I can show it to all my friends and say, "Look! I screwed Vincent for real!" >Star gave him another lustful look Rude: Can we get a thesaurus for the world LUSTFUL? I mean, there must be some other words other than LUST. Elena: Does it look like I have a theasarus? Reno: Nope, she tore out the pages to stuff her- Elena: *punches Reno* No. Reno: Oww.. Lay off! >as she re-positioned herself. "So I could do....this." Reno: -As Star slowly inserted her whole fist into Vincent's- Rude: No. >On that note, Star sank before him, taking him deep into her >warm mouth, her hands sliding to grasp his taunt backside, Elena: [Star] What's with this piece of paper here? Wait a second, it's a list! 1) Brood. 2) Screw fangirl. 3) Brood. 4) Screw rest of cast. 4) Brood. Rude: Sounds like a plan to me. Reno: You forgot one. 5) Mourn Lucrecia and babble incoherently about death. >forcing him deeper into her. Reno: [Star] I AM EATING THE GOTHY MAN! CHOMP CHOMP! >Emmitting a groan he was positive that would have registered on the Richter's >scale, Elena: [Vincent] ROAAAAAAAR! Reno: You think that he's knocking over buildings? Elena: [Vincent] I'M GODZILLA! ROAAAR! Rude: Simmer down, Elena. >Vincent threw his head back Rude: Vincent throws for the pass to the wall, and... IT'S GOOD! >as the unbelivable sensations of feeling >her moving down his shaft Reno: He's a bad motha- Elena: Shut yo mouth! Reno: I'm just talkin' 'bout Shaft! Elena: We can dig it. >sent waves of desire through him. He could scarely >believe what has happening. Rude: *yawns* The wonders of a sexual encounter. Reno: This is Vincent, the last one he's had was- Elena: With you. Reno: ... Shut up. >This was Star, his best friend, for God's sake! Elena: Never stopped these two... *motions at Reno and Rude* Rude: ... Reno: ... >When they were younger, they plotted ways of how to effectively ditch >classes. Reno: How old is Star?! How old is she!? He was locked in a coffin! *Reno hops about in his chair* >She hadn't dated too many guys when they were in school, Elena: Read- She didn't date at all. Rude: Just like you! I heard you whining about that a while back. You didn't even go to your prom. L-O-S-E-R! Elena: ... *lower lip trembles* Reno: You know, I wouldn't be suprised if Elena hadn't written this. Elena (To herself): Must be strong.. Must be strong.. *bites lip* Rude: I think she did with Tseng. Heh heh heh. What a piece of work that thing would be! Elena: I hate you both! *grits teeth and smokes* Scarlet (Intercom): Actually, that's up next. Elena X Fanboy. Lemon. Elena: X_X Reno And Rude: HAHAHA! >yet here was Miss Innocent and Light Rude: Lemme get this straight, Star is Aeris? >giving him what was easily the greatest blow job >he had ever experienced in his life. Reno: Oh well I guess I just don't friggen count, now, HUH?! Rude: *laughs at Reno* Reno: *shrugs* Can't beat em, might as well accept the fact. >The thought of what was happening and >with whom it was happening with quickly prooved Elena: Oooh! Oooh! Can I get that one? Reno: No. Elena: Damn. >to be too much for him, for >soon he reluctantly eased her off him. Rude: Something just seems WRONG with that sentance. Reno: I'll agree. >Panting, Star looked up into his tormented face, Reno: Twisted with agony! So goth! > afraid she had displeased him. " Was that no good?" Elena: *sighs* You just don't get it, do you Star? >Breathing equally as hard, Vincent somehow managed to give her a weak grin. Rude: [Vincent] Oh dear God, please kill me... >"On the contrary, that was amazing! Where on earth did you......?" Reno: Let's play complete Vincent's sentance! Rude: "Where on earth did you learn how to weave a basket like that?" Elena: "Where on earth did you find the 60-foot grinder?" Reno: And for my entry- "Where on earth did you find the >Star smiled demurly. "Well, you knew I always liked to read, right?" Reno: [Star] I read the whole DELTA Invasion! All: *shudder* >Vincent smiled back at her as he recalled how she always DID seem to have a >book with her. He caught himself wondering what else she might have read.... Rude: Nothing much, maybe "Penthouse letter writing for Dummies"? Reno: Heh. Some of PJ's work? Elena: That's wrong. >Star continued," So what was wrong? Why did you stop me then?" Reno: [Vincent] I do a much better job with myself. Rude: [Dante] I could never reach. Elena: Not so obscure. >"You said be honest, right?" Rude: No. >"Brutal." Reno: Is anyone tired of this "Honest/Brutal" thing? All: *raise hands* >With that, Vincent dropped to the bed beside her and held her tightly against >his straining erection. Elena: [Star] Owww! My eye! >" All right then, you asked for it," he whispered >into her ear, Reno: [Vincent] The secret ingredent is... *salt*... >" As incredible as you felt just then, I'd rather cum inside >your pussy. Would you like that?" Rude: *snickers* Salt indeed. Elena: [Star] Oh yes, your dirty words are making me hot with laughter. >Star could feel herself getting even wetter by his words. All: [Kool-Aid guy] OH YEAH!! Reno: Just like the ads, eh? GUSHING forth! Elena: Breaking down the walls! >"Oh God, please," >she moaned, "Please. That's what I want. Fuck me! I've waited for you for >sooo long. Please fuck my virgin pussy! I want to feel you inside me when >you cum." Elena: Oh. My. God! All: *crack up laughing* Rude: Folks at home- Reno: Fourth! Rude: Shut up, Reno. Folks- You don't need us for that line. If you're not laughing at those lines right as they are, re-read it again. >Vincent growled gently into her ear. "And I am going to oblidge you, but you >have to do something for me first..." Rude: [Vincent] You don't think you could grow a pen- Elena: Not quite ready for that yet.. >Star somehow managed to give him a breathy "Yes?" Reno: [Star] Yes, Master? Would you whip me master? Rude: S&M? Why would I not be suprised in this fic? >Vincent snaked his flesh and bone arm around her waist, Elena: -squeezing the insides of Star out. >where he let it trail to her posterior. "Turn around," >he teasingly commanded, "I want to take you doggie-style. All: *make barking noises* Rude: Vinny, we know she's a dog, but do you have to screw her like one? Elena: Low-blow. Rude: I want this to get over with. >I want to watch Reno: -Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. >your beautiful ass as I fuck you." All: *break out laughing again* >Gasping in anticipation, Star dutifully positioned herself on her hands and >knees as he sought the sensations her body promised. Elena: Er, is that supposed to be arousing or just confusing. Rude: Pretty boring. > Patiently, he slid into Rude: -home plate, scoring the final run to win the game! >her heat, slick with her juices, but again he came across that barrier. Reno: Pay toll, take virginity. 1 dollar per axel. >There was no way around it. Rude: Stick a fork in it! Elena: *grimaces* Ow. I think that pain will be hurting you. >He was going to have to hurt her this first time >and he hated himself for having to make her feel pain for him. Elena: What do you mean for him?! She's the one who's putting out! Reno: I like your thinking, Elena. >Wanting to end her nervousness quickly, Reno: Along with the fic. Elena: *sighs* That won't happen for a while... >he eased himself into her as far as he could, >placing his hands around her hips. Without a warning, he thrust himself Rude: Into the outer atmosphere! Reno: [Vincent] To infinity, and beyond! >as hard as he could into her tight flesh. Reno: And ripped right through her! Rude: Er, that's what's going to happen. Reno: I know, I know... It's just so... PAINFUL! Elena: Literally, I assume. >A tear of pain seared through Star quickly even as she marveled at how good >he felt inside her. Elena: *yawns* Lemon, rinse, repeat. Reno: [Star] You know a girl like me could get used to this. Mind if I cut it off, Vincent? >The day she had for so long prayed for Reno: You can pray all you want and Vincent still won't ever do this. >was here and she >was determined not to let anything interfere with it. Rude: ... Not even if everyone came running in? Reno: Well, one of those words may happen... >She tightened her muscles around him, Elena: SQUEEZE the fun out of it! >causing him to grow even harder inside her. Rude: Uh, no. Just no. Reno: Not going to work. No way! Uh-uh! Doesn't work that way! >She was rewared with a low groan of lust from him for her efforts. Reno: Of course. Rude: Remember kids, Friction = Fun! >At first, Vincent thrust himself slowly into her, allowing her to get used to >what was occuring. Elena: [Star] What are you doing to me? Oh. That? You know, the thing I said I'd put out for you? Bah. Forget about it. >He leaned foward and cupped her love-starved breasts in >his hands, ever so gently squeezing them, All: Squish! > his thumbs running slow lazy circles around her nipples. Reno: Laid back.... >Then he leaned even closer and began planting >soft hot kisses on her neck. Rude: [Star] Ow my neck! IT BURNS! >"How does that feel, my love? Do you feel good?" he whispered to her. Elena: [Star] Eh, I've had better. Reno: Don't you wish, Elena... Elena: ... No comment. >Star moaned as she was sent rocking with his body. Rude: [Generic rocker dude] ROCK AND ROLL DUDE! >"Ohhh...Don't ever stop...... Elena: Er. Vincent will get rather tired. Reno: *takes one of Elena's cigarettes* Tell me when it's over. > I can't take this...please...make me cum...please......." Reno: *reads magazine* Elena: *looks in her pockets for another cigarette* Rude: *polishes his sunglasses* Boring. >Vincent thrust even harder into her tight flesh, Rude: And push, and shove, and thrust, and flex! >pounding away savagely at her. He knew he would be a dead man very soon. Reno: [Star] Daddy! Don't shoot him! I love him! Rude: [Star's father] GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT, SPOOKY BOY. I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN. Elena: Been there before, Rude? Rude: Er. No comment. >"Star, you feel so good. Do you feel me getting ready to cum? Rude: It doesn't change that much... Still remains the same shape. Reno: Heh... >That's because of you. Do you want me to cum inside you?.." Elena: Oh Vincent! Your wiley words are turning me on as you speak! Please! Take me before I flood this place out! *snorts* Puh-LEEZE. Rude: *pats Elena on the shoulder* It's okay... Really, it is. >"OH GOD YES," she screamed, "Fill me with your hot cum!! Reno: [Vincent] Here, I'll put it in a mug and into the microwave. > I want to feel it in me......ummmmm...Just please don't stop!! Rude: *raises eyebrow* Reno: Dialogue lifted from "Nymphomaniac Camp Part 3" >This is too incredible... What are you doing to..AAAIIIEEEEHHHHH.." Elena: *re-enacts scene from When Harry Met Sally* Reno and Rude: *look blanky* Elena: I do it better. Reno and Rude: *clap* >she screamed as the orgasm coursed through her. Rude: No honey, that's the heroin. Elena: Ouch. >The waves of feeling were so strong she felt her legs buckle >from the strain, threatening to give out of her. Reno: Vincent, don't let this fic get to your head. >That was all the encouragement Vincent needed. Tearing her name from his >throat, Rude: That sounds rather sick. >he surrendered to the moment and exploded Reno: BOOM! All over the wall! Elena: Ew. > his seed deep within her, >jerking spasmodically with the effort. Rude: Um, Vincent? You're not supposed to be jerking right now... Reno: *snickers* >Losing all strenght, Elena: *giggles* Reno: Would you stop doing that? Elena: Well it's better than throwing out a spelling riff right? Reno: I suppose. > he collapsed on top of her, sending her face down into the pillows. All: *SQUISH* >When at last they were both calm, Rude: [Vincent] Calm like the lake.. Calm like the lake.. Screw it, I'm rough like the storm torn ocean! >he gently withdrew from her warmth and drew Elena: A pretty drawing of a flower! >her into his arms, kissing her deeply, Reno: In the eye! In the eye! Rude: Mmm... Lickin' eyeballs. >their chests heaving for air. They >looked into each other's eyes and began to giggle like naughty children. Rude: [Star] Tee-hee! Sex is FUNNY! Reno: Yeah, sure... Vincent? Giggle? Elena: Come see the softer side of Vincent. Reno: Yeah, he's MUCH softer... Get it? Elena: ... >Propping himself up on his elbow, Vincent gazed lovingly at his best friend >turned lover. Elena: Too bad he won't respect her in the morning. All men are like that. Rude: Dammit. I was going to say that this fic was the perfect opportunity to get you in the sack, Elena! Elena: Not bloody likely. >" That was easily the most incredible thing I ever felt in my life. Rude: [Vincent] I'm just saying this for the effect, you know. >How are you holding up?" Elena: [Star] Sephiroth was bigger. Reno: Not by much. Elena & Rude: *stare at Reno* Reno: What? What? >Star smiled shyly. "Not too bad. Rude: [Star] Your sister's better. Reno: *blanches* Rude: It WOULD be a better fic though. Elena: Agreed. Maybe. > I can honestly say you're the best lover I ever had." Elena: That's not much of a compliment. He's also her worst lover ever. >Vincent grinned at her. "Well, what are friends for?" Reno: Not for screwing. >" If I knew about this before, I would have told you earlier!" Rude: *shakes his head* No. Reno: Eh? Rude: Just NO. >Fighting sleep, Vincent rolled over to glance at the clock on his night >stand. Reno: Yeah, this fic would put you to sleep pretty easily. >"Hey, it's past midnight. It's officially Christmas." Rude: Does that mean it's over? Reno: I don't think so.. *frowns* >Star snuggled up to him. "Merry Christmas." She gave him a warm kiss. Reno: Kiss of death! Kiss of death! Rude: Ahh MK1, How we miss you. >When they broke it, Rude: I thought they already did that. Reno: Ouch. >Vincent turned back to the dresser and opened the drawer, >producing a small velet box, Elena: *points* *laughs* I guess the keyboard was a bit... Dirty. Rude: I thought you were going to stop doing that. Elena: I lied. >which he handed to Star. > >" What's this?" Star asked, curiously examining the box. Reno: The plot. Rude: That was a low blow. Reno: It's true! >Vincent gave her a loving glance as his voice became almost shy-like. Elena: At least for Vincent. >"Something you've had for a long time and something I should have have given >you a long time ago. Reno: [Vincent] In a galaxy far, far, away. >Something I never had the courage to give you..until now." Rude: Well, I already screwed you, so I already know how you look, but here's a shower cam. Install it for me? Reno: What qualms would Vincent have? I mean he had her melting in her underwear for him. >With trembling fingers, Star finally managed to open the box. Elena: Wait until tommorow, when Star actually LOOKS in the box! >Nestled on a bed of black velvet was a fine gold chain. Reno: Yarr, ye call that an anchor? Rude: I knew this fic was going S&M! Elena: Who would've thought it? >A simple, yet beautiful gold heart was attatched. Elena: [Star] Ha ha, but where's the real gift? Rude: [Vincent] Er... Wait right there! >Fighting tears of joy, Star teased him. "Hey, it's a Valentine! Rude: ... Oh dear God, she's pregnant and given birth already? Elena: ... Eww. > My second one today!" Reno: *plays rimshot* Rude: Too bad it's Christmas. >Vincent took the chain from her and placed it around her bare skin. As his >fingers worked Elena: Hey, this already happened! Rude: I think she's talking about the chain. Or I at least hope to god that's what he's working again. >the clasp, he whispered softly in her ear. Reno: [Vincent] It only cost 19.99 with my discount... >"It's a heart...my heart. It's in your hands now." All: *make choking noises* >As touched by his beautiful words as she was, something seemed out of place >to Star. Rude: Maybe it was the fact that Vincent was growing tentacles from his back, oozing a slimy purple liquid. Reno: ... It doesn't work in text. Elena: Use your imagination. Reno: This place makes you rather jaded to using it. >She thought about the incredible course of events that had taken >place that day. Elena: Not that much really happened. Reno: Besides the usual in and out. Elena: *shakes her head* >"But...you didn't...we didn't...what happened today wasn't >planned..." she fumbled. Rude: Oh no! Star has fumbled the pass and everyone's jumping on it! >Vincent gave her a tiny smile and a quick nod of his head, his raven black >hair spilling across his beautiful features. Reno: *rolls eyes* Vincent's just SO hot, we know. Rude: Hey, you're the one who screwed him. Reno: Sure. Right. Here. If you've done Tifa, I've done Vincent. Rude: ... >Star continued. Elena: Over the cliff. It's in the director's cut. Rude: The laserdisc, not the DVD! >"But you had this gift ready for me anyway." The >realization hit her like a thunderbolt. Rude: [God] Woo-hoo! Got 'em! Elena: Score! >"Vincent, were you planning on >giving me this as a gift already? Before......you know." Reno: [Vincent] Nope. Please leave. I've got a busy schedule with the fangirls. Rude: Oh no, Mom! Not the Big One! >In responce, he wrapped his arms tightly around her and held her close. Elena: [Star] Vincent.. My.. ribcage.... *hack* >After a while, he spoke. Rude: [Vincent] Are you dead yet? Reno: [Star] No. Rude: [Vincent] Well can you kill me? Reno: [Star] No. Rude: [Vincent] Damn. >" I bought that a long time ago. Elena: In a Galaxy far- Reno: We already did that one. Elena: *pouts* I know. >I had planned to give it you on Christmas >Eve the year I was going to graduate from school. Reno: Er, Vincent? GED doesn't cut it. Elena: [Chris Rock] What does GED stand for? Good Enough Diploma! Rude: Not so obscure. Elena: Stop doing that! >But then, I foolishly >convinced myself you were too special Elena: In the "Short Bus" way of special. >and that you would never go for a guy >like me. So, like a coward, I hid it away until....." Rude: Doesn't every girl want to think that? Elena: ... *sniffles* Rude: Aww. Blondy's crying! There, there, Elena, your dreams of men are shattered. Elena: As if you two already didn't do that. Reno: *belches* What? >Star's curiosity threatened to get the better of her as she listened to his Reno: - inane dribble. >tale. "Until what?" Rude: [Vincent] Until you stopped interrupting our f-sessions with trite filler. Reno: Ouch. Harsh. Rude: ... This is REALLY starting to get to me. >"For once, my pain in the neck little sister came through." Elena: Her panti- Rude: Elena... Please! Elena: Grr... >"Explain." Reno: [Vincent] But I don't want to. >Vincent sighed deeply. Rude: [Vincent] This is some gooo-od stuff! >"A few days ago, Teka was rummaging through some old >boxes we had brought from home. She found the necklace and brought it to me. Reno: [Vincent] Now at the time, I was with Aeris, so I didn't want her to come in yet. Well actually I wanted her to join on in! Rude: Threesome for the Vampire! > She knew how I felt about you and she convinced me to tell you at long last." Elena: Er, Vincent didn't tell her anything. They just sat around, mumbled about love, and screwed. >Star smiled. "Remind me to thank her later! Rude: [Star] In my own... *Special* way. Elena: Why are you guys so hung up on having her be with this Teka girl? Reno: Because it would probably be more unique. A much better gift also. > But..how did she know how you >felt? You didn't actually tell her did you?" Reno: [Vincent] Hey sis, I want you-er I mean, uh.. crap! Elena: Yuck. >Vincent gave her a devilish grin. "Not in so many words." Elena: [Vincent] I like dem' gurlies! They're puurty! Hyuck! >"Come again?" Rude: ... HORRIBLE PUN! Reno: [Vincent] Not likely. Try tommorow morning. >Vincent gave her a lecherous look. "Don't tempt me Elena: [Vincent] -to kill you right now." >! Seriously, she kinda......heard me one night." Rude: Damn those late night band practices! >"Heard you? You lost me." Reno: We've been lost since the beginnning. Elena: Well, sort of. I lost it during the whole weepy "I'm in love with you" moments. >Vincent grinned again. "Sure you want to hear this?" All: NO! NO MORE! Elena: For the love of GOD no more! >Star rolled her eyes. Rude: - down the stairs. >"Well, let's see. I'm sitting on a bed, stark naked Reno: *shudders* Naked fangirl alert! Look! It's a tatoo of Vinny's name right over her... Rude: No. >and I just lost my virginity to my best friend. Elena: Would you stop repeating that? Rude: Really. We know it. >Why not tell me?! How bad could it be?" Reno: Much worse. So much worse. Rude: Vincent's going to bring out the photos of his favorite sheep. >Vincent waggled his eyebrows in jest at her. Rude: [Vincent] I'm done. Get off of me now. >"You were warned. It's >just...you sorta.....," he trailed off, mumbling the rest. Elena: [Vincent] I JUST DON'T LIKE YOU! OKAY? Reno: You okay? Elena: I need a drink. Badly. So very badly. >"Sorta what? What did I do?" Reno: [Vincent] You went all over my sheets! You know how hard it is to clean these things? >He look a deep breath. "You kind of were the subject of......Jeez, why is >this so hard after what happened? You were the subject of my first Elena: [Vincent] Assasination. Geeze, you think after I dug her up, she'd be quiet! > wet dream, ok." Reno: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Liar. Rude: Down boy, down. >After all that had transpired, Star really had no reason to be shocked, but >she was. "Say what?!?!" Rude (frowning): I'm refraining from using that previous riff. But I want to so bad. *grits teeth* Reno: *sighs* >He gave her an impish grin. Reno: [Vincent] I'm an imp! Rude: Ultra obscure. Elena: *clocks Rude* STOP IT. Rude: No. >"It's the truth. I dreamt you were staying at >our house while your folks were away. You had a nightmare and got into bed >with me to calm you down. Elena: That's what little four year-olds do with their parents. Reno: Are you going to have a nightmare tonight Elena? *grins* Elena: ... No. Not ever. Rude: I have nightmares of being stuck having to read bad porn fanfics. Reno: You're living it. Rude: I know, I know. >You can pretty much guess the rest of it. It's >just that...Teka heard me moaning your name over and over." Reno: Pretty lame fantasy there, Vinny. Elena: [Star] You sleep on top of the covers, I sleep under them. >Star turned beet red. "EEEEEEEEEPPPPPP!!!" Rude: [Short Bus] Beep beep! Elena: It's here for you, Star! >"Tell me about it! I thought she would never let me hear the end of it." Reno: [Teka] WHY WERE YOU MOANING HER NAME INSTEAD OF MINE! You bastard! Rude: Heh heh. >"So I wasn't dreaming it when I saw you two passing signals to each other >before?" Elena: I'm really starting to hate this filler-tripe. *smokes* >"Nope. She knew what I was planning tonight. Reno: [Teka] I'm tired of screwing my brother. Give her my best friend now. Rude: I think that this Teka would screw Vinny even if he was her brother. Reno: Ouch. True. >But then, I didn't think this was going to happen either." Rude: It would've been a lot better if it never have happened. >Yawning then, Star stretched and climbed off the bed. Reno: [Vincent] You can sleep on the floor, Star. >"Where are you going?" Rude: [Vincent] And are you staying there forever? >"I'm tired and I need to take a shower, right?" Reno: [Star] You're really dirty and stuff, and now I'm covered with various bodily fluids. Just friggen great. >Vincent leapt up as well. Rude: Puma pounce! >"Want company?" he purred suggestively. Elena: [Star] Not really. You're pretty hairy for a guy like you. >"I thought you would never ask!" Rude: ... Why am I not enjoying this? Elena: I'm not liking it either. Reno: I think that life would be better if we just skipped the next part. Rufus (intercom): NO. You losers skipped parts on the last one, you're not going to miss this one! All: *make groaning noises* Rufus (intercom): But you did cheat! >Once in the bathroom, Star turned the water on and wearily climbed in, >Vincent right behind her. Reno: Vincent, that's not what she wanted there yet. Rude: Like what you've had. Reno: Haven't we had enough of the "Reno's actually gay" jokes yet? Rude: *looks in notebook* Nope. Still got twelve to go. >Immediately, his arms wrapped around her. But Star had another plan >in mind. Rude: Something to do with popsicle sticks and frozen hotdogs. Elena: I'm not even going there. >Freeing herself, she told him to relax >against the wall as she grabbed the bar of soap from the counter. Reno: [Star] This won't hurt a bit... Until I jam it down your throat! >Vincent looked on in amusement. "What's that for?" Elena: Ana- Rude: No. Nice try though. >Star gave him a quick playful kiss. "You'll see," she sang. Rude: As she was whittling it down to a certain round object that our good pal Reno's familiar with. Reno: ... Elena: Don't drop the soap, Vincent! >And see he soon did. Elena: What? Drop the soap? This fic gives me a headache. Rude: Reno's dropped the soap enough times with Vinny here. Reno: ... STOP IT! It's a played out joke! >Creating a huge pile of suds from the soap, Star >reclined her head upon his chest as the warm water surrounded them. Rude: Okay.... Reno: Moving on. >Silently, she lowered her head to capture his nipple in her teeth, teasing >him ever so slowly. Reno: [Star] *spits* Eww! Hairy nipple! I knew I should've shaved it first! Elena: *mutters* Yuck. >While she did this, her now sudsy hands snaked down between his legs. Rude: Snaking hands, meet trouser sn-. Elena: That's far enough. >One hand gently cupped his balls Reno: Balls in the cup? Hole in one! Rude: Lame. >while the other stroked >him to an erection that rivaled his previous one back in the bedroom. Rude: Boioioing... Elena: *giggles* >The >pitch of his groans of lust grew in intensity as she felt him grow even >harder in her hand. Elena: That sentance just seems wrong. I don't know why, but it does. Rude: Harder in his hand! Reno: Her hands are like a kilm! >As she continued to tease him with her teeth and tongue, Reno: *CHOMP* Rude: Oof. >he continued to marvel at his find in her as he begged her to end her >delicious torture of him. Elena: [Star] Salty. Rude: ... Reno: ... Elena: What? Rude: How do you know? Elena: The question is, how do YOU know? Rude: *coughs* >All too soon, he felt himself bracing against the >wall as a quick, white hot orgasm shot through him. Reno: Again and again! How much more of this fic do I have to take! I'm going INSANE!! Rufus (intercom): That's the point, moron! Reno: Er, I'm fine! Give me more! >But rather than slow down as he came, Elena: And left.. Reno: Where'd he go? Elena: Down her thr- Rude: Stop that. >Star increased the pace of her macinations, Rude: Looks like someone DID have a theasarus. >which only droze >him into another spasm of delerious pleasure. Rude: ... Reno: ... Elena: ... Reno: The last time I checked, Men were not multiple capable. Rude: But how I wish I was. >When at long last he could speak, he looked at amazement in her. Elena: [Vincent] I screwed you? GOOD LORD, WHAT HAVE I BEEN DRINKING? Reno: [Star] But.. But... Elena: [Vincent] I feel so... Violated! >"Just what exactly HAVE you been reading," he kidded, his voice shaky. Reno: [Vincent] Please don't ever make me do that again! PLEASE! Rude: Didn't Vincent already ask that question? >"Wouldn't you like to know! Anyway, I'm ready for sleep. How about you?" Rude: [Vincent] ZZZzzz... Mmm.. Lucrecia... Reno: [Star] You cheatin' man you! Dreamin' of Lucrecia? >Vincent was barely able to nod his agreement. Elena: [Star] I tied him up good! >The pair quickly towel dried each other off then sauntered off to Vincent's >room for the night. Reno: [Vincent] *yawn* Another day, another fangirl. What's on TV? Rude: [Star] Porn. Cinemax porn. Reno: [Vincent] NOOOOO!! >Wrapped deep in each other's arms, they managed to >convey a few last weary sentences before sleep finally claimed them. Rude: That or death. >"Merry Christmas, Vincent." >"Merry Christmas, Starlight." Reno: Happy Kwanza, Elena. Rude: Happy Day Of Feasting, Reno. Elena: Merry Yak Shaving day, Rude. Reno: How appropriate for Rude. Rude: ... >There was need for only one final sentence from them and they both said it at >the same time. Elena: "This never happened." Reno: "Smile, you're on candid camera!" Rude: "Let's go get the others for an orgy!" >"I love you." All: ... Reno: How sweet. Elena: *snorts* This is the definition of sweet and sour. Rude: *looks physically ill* I don't feel so hot. I think I laughed too much. [Reverse Door Sequence] "Sirs, you can't be serious! That would kill me! As well as ruin any sort of reputation I have gained up from Reno and Rude!" Elena pleaded. "Nope, this fic will utterly CRUSH your dreams, Elena. Exposing your secrets is our job," Rufus said. "What do I have to hide from these two idiots?" Elena put her hands on her hips. "Oh, you'll find out. It is a lemon, remember," Rufus smiled. "... Oh." Elena let out quietly. "So, how was the fic? Are you dead yet?" Rufus asked. "No," Rude replied, sitting on a counter. "Not at all," Reno said, his mind was screaming for release, but it would fade. "Elena?" Rufus asked. Elena brought a nervous hand up with a cigarette. After a nervous haul, she shook her head and closed her eyes shut tightly. Her training never involved this kind of torture. "Yoo Hooo! Elenaaa?" Rufus crooned. One success case at least, he thought. "Fine." Elena said with a composure of ice. "I think it's a move up in the women's world of writing! It shows that not just self insertion men are screwing the characters! It's also the women! Further more, the-" Rude began his thesis. "For the love of the Sister Ray, SHUT UP!" Scarlet yelled holding her head. "You're giving me the biggest headache!" Rude smiled. His work was done. "Oh well. The next fic will send you reeling into your graves, and I know how much you like being 'in on the action', Elena!" Rufus winked. "That's what you think you piece of gutter trash." Elena scowled. Rufus sighed. This was getting longer and longer every time. Hopefully a fresh blast of lemony goodness would do them in. "Hojo! I mean, SCARLET! Push the button!" "Sir, yes, sir!" Scarlet pushed the communicator button off. --- The three Turks were surrounded by bottles. Each Turk was equally drunk as another. "Guhhh..." Elena managed to wobble out of her liquor-induced haze of mind set. "Hey Reno... Watch this!" Rude yelled, hurling an empty can of beer at Elena's head. It missed and bounced harmlessly off the wall. "Dude, you missed," Reno mumbled. "But that's-that's-that's hokay by me!" Reno stumbled over to Rude and fell on to him. "Could you like, spare a room tonight? I've got a fever only you, you could fix..." Rude became instantly sober. "Reno- You're drunk." "And you're pretty! Huh huh. Pretty pretty pretty!" Elena watched on and laughed hysterically at this. "It's true! Very true, indeed!" and proceeded to collapse over the control panels. Rude was getting desperate, as this was neither the time or the place, even though Elena would know nothing of the sort, her being semi-concious, and drinking as much as Reno. He didn't even think she could handle that much. But back to his problem with Reno. Reno was plastered, and hitting on him. He had always joked about it, but he never thought of it was true. This led to his one conclusion- The Treatment. "ELENA! GET ME THE DUCT TAPE!" Rude yelled with Reno slowly trying to grasp him. "Hehe!" "NOW!" "Okay, Sirrrr!" Elena gave a mock salute and got the tape out of the drawer. She sauntered over and handed it to Rude. "Here yah go, big guy... Going to have some FUN with Reno?" "No." "Sureee.. I'll just wear my earplugs. Mmm kay?" And with that, Elena went off to her own area to sleep. Rude had done this before with even more alchohol in his system. After clearing an area, he tossed Reno down and began taping him to the floor. "What are you doing, oh... This? Kiiinky!" Reno chortled. Rude didn't reply a word. He finished taping Reno down and headed off to his own room to sleep. "Hey, where you going? Ruude? Ruude? Elena? ANYONE?" Reno called out. "Ah hell, I guess they'll get me up in the morning.." "This was the darkened items won't appear." Daravon declared. \ | / \ | / \ | / \|/ ------O------ /|\ / | \ / | \ / | \ --=\TOGG!/=-- [Feel free to hum your favorite song here] So my second dirty story comes to an end. It took me long enough to finish, but it came out well by my standards. No cutting out sequences. I'd like to thank the author of this fic for giving me the permission to riff this fic, and also for writing it. You rock! Next up is a fanfiction that deals with me, and my permenant lust object, Elena. I get permission on this one by default, as it was written for me. This one should be good as Elena usually hasn't been featured in lemons. Here's an open request also- if you find any bad lemons involving any of the Turks (Self insertion, Yaoi, Hetero (Ie Elena X Tseng or whoever), Yuri) give me a mail with a link. I love 'em to pieces. If you need anything, drop by my site or mail me at: tristan@syntheticpawn.com Website is at http://www.syntheticpawn.com Keep on writing! 09.05.00 --- >"Oh God, please," she moaned, "Please. That's what I want. >Fuck me! I've waited for you for sooo long. Please fuck >my virgin pussy! I want to feel you inside me when you cum." ----- Tristan Beaulieu 617.577.3630 QD