Msting by Eric Schepers schepps@hotmail.com ______________________________________________________________________ Mike: Egor! Elevate the table! Crow: Yes, master! Mike: They laughed at me! They all laughed! Crow: I laughed. Mike: Well, they aren’t laughing now! Crow: That’s because you killed them! Mike: Oh yeah. Ehehehe.... Mike: Finally! My dreams have been fulfilled! Mike: It’s alive!! Alive!! Crow: Whew, still smells dead..... Tom: Grrr........ Mike: ALIVE!!! Crow: Doctor Frankenstien, you’ve brought the dead back to life and meddled in God’s domain. What do you have to say to your creation? Mike: Uh....it’s alive? Tom: GRRRRRRRR............. Mike: No! Begone foul beast! Crow: Damn it Servo, what’s the matter now? Tom: My arms don’t work nimrod! Mike: Oh, great. Real monsters. Crow: Never seen that show, is it any good? Dr. F: Oh, hello ninniedoodles.....what happened to the Satellite?! Mike: Don’t sweat it doc, we’re just using ye old holodeck. Dr. F: Oh, yes. Last time I let Frank make the supply list....Anyway, I have a surprise for you! Frank: Guess what it is! All: Oh gee, a fanfic? Dr. F: That’s right! By my calculations you’ll be screaming, “Mommy!” by the end of this little literary pile. It’s called Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon:Crystal Sailors! Sort and recycle them Frank! BWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Frank: At once! Mike: Doc should laugh more from the diaphragm.... Bots: MOVIE SIGN!! *..2..3..4..5..6 > > The quest for Princess Crystallina begins! Mike: While the quest for King Acorn’s Sword ends... > >Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon:Crystal Sailors Crow: Sailor Moon viewing positions people! >Episode:01 >"Rise of the Ice Kingdom!" Tom: Is this a lemon? Mike: I don’t think so. Crow: Yeah, everybody knows the Ice Kingdom can’t get it- >Part 1 of 3. >By Who09@aol.com >******************************************************************** >It was a Beautiful day at the park in Tokyo. Mamoru held his Princess Usagi >in his harms. Mike: Her lifeless body cradled in his bloody arms.... >Mamoru: "Oh, I love you so much Tsukino Usagi! When I am with you Usagi, I >feel the energy coming from you! I love my girl with those Odango's!" Usagi's >cheeks turned rosey red in delight. Usagi smiled at Mamoru. Crow: What did you call me?! >Usagi: "When I am with you Mamoru I feel the power growing inside you! Do you >really love me Mamoru?" Tom: Gotta be a lemon. Mike: How so? Crow: She can feel his power growing. >Mamoru: "Yes I do." Suddenly it got real cold. It was highly unlikely for this >time of year. Mike: But perfectly fine during winter. > Mamoru and Usagi watched as two villainous monsters appeared. >Morgoth: "We have a mission from the Ice Titan. We must find and defeat Sailor >Moon!" Then the villains vanished. Mamoru turned to Usagi and said. Crow: Man, Oyuki has really let herself go! Tom: I just love it when villains come right up to you and explain the plot. Mike: Plot? Where? >Mamoru: "We must rally the others!" >Usagi: "Right Mamoru!" Tom: Whatever you say Mamoru! Mike: Mamoru our man! Crow: Mamoru for President! Mike: Ugh, I feel dirty. > > At Rei's temple, Luna, Artimus, the five Sailor Soldiers and even Mamoru were >at the temple discussing what Usagi and Mamoru had seen! Tom: Oh, Mamoru is worthy of joining them hmmm? Crow: My very life was threatened! Mike: They wouldn’t dare do anything with me there! Crow: I’m talking about you, you idiot! >Luna: "Why Sailor Moon?" Crow: Why not? Sailor Satellite doesn’t make sense! >Mamoru: "Maybe because she is the Moon Princess Serenity." >Usagi: "Why would they be after me?" Tom: You are Sailor Moon! Champion of Justice! You will right all wrongs and fight evil in the name of the Moon! >It was a mystery to everyone! Mike: A better mystery was who shot Mr. Burns. >Artemis: "Usagi, you must be careful when you fight. They want you for some >reason and they won't say why! You must be on guard! Understand?" Crow: You mean I actually have to fight? Tom: Yeah, to bad they didn’t scream out the plot or something. >Usagi: "Yes." > >Meanwhile at the Ice Titan's palace, Tom: Home of the Whopper and Burger King’s new better tasting fries. >Morgoth and Belogore were in front of the Ice Titan. Mike: One of the newest line of freezers from Westing House. >Morgoth: "You wanted us master?" All: Ewwww.... >Ice Titan: "Yes Morgoth. Sailor Moon will fight you today at 3 this afternoon. Tom: Unless we’re rained out. >Make sure she stays alone.You must defeat her! We can't let the Princess win >any fights! She had sealed me once, defeat Usagi, kill her. Understand?” All: Uh, no....... >Morgoth: "Yes master! I will send Robosnoid to begin a search for Sailor Moon. >Robosnoid come forth!" >Morgoth and Robosnoid left for Tokyo. Crow: Robo-zord? Tom: Go-go Stupid Rangers! > >Soon Robosnoid was at the location that Sailor Moon would appear. Meanwhile, >Usagi and Mamoru were having a romantic dinner at Mamoru's apartment. Suddenly >Mamoru got the strangest feeling. Mike: Argh.....salmonella! Crow: It’s ok, we can just cuddle.... >Mamoru: "I don't know how I know Usagi, but a monster has >appeared near here searching for you!" Crow: Ah, the deviled eggs not only gave him salmonella, they increased his psi powers! Tom: To bad they didn’t increase the plausibility. >Usagi: "What do I do Mamoru?" Crow: How about I do that thing you like? You know, with the scepter... Mike: Crow.... >Mamoru: "I think you have to fight this battle, Usagi. I can't explain how, >but you will win this battle. You will be badly hurt though." Mike: Oh, thanks a lot! Tom: Can you possibly make this any worse? Crow: Oscar. >Usagi: "Then I must go." >Mamoru was worried. Tom: But he doesn’t know how... >Mamoru: "Be careful my sweet girl with those Odango's!" Mike: He’s fixated on her Odangos? >Usagi smiles slightly. >Usagi: "I will. Moon Crystal Power! Make Up!" Usagi transforms into Sailor >Moon and vanishes. Mike: Teleportation being just another super power we never heard about. > > At the park, Robosnoid was destroying everything in sight! >Sailor Moon appeared! Tom: Right on time! >Sailor Moon: "In the name of the Moon....I will punish you! I will triumph >over evil and that means YOU!" Crow: Oh yeah, punish me! Mike: Settle down. > >Robosnoid laughed but didn't say anything. Rpbosnoid threw ice crystals at Sailor >Moon. Mike: I think you mean Robosnoid, Beavis. > Sailor Moon fell to the ground in pain, but not yelling out. Tom: It’s a quiet pain. >Morgoth didn't know why Sailor Moon didn't cry out in pain. Crow: And didn’t care. Kind of like us. > Robosnoid went and >picked up Sailor Moon and threw her down with a strong force! Mike: Then a weak force! A left! A right! > Sailor Moon >still didn't cry out in pain no matter how bad she felt. Morgoth and Robosnoid >combined their powers and blasted Sailor Moon. Then Tuxedo Kamen and the Sailor >Soldiers appeared. Tom: Wait a minute, they all knew about it and they just now got here? > > Sailor Moon was in a lot of pain. Sailor Moon started to bleeding, she got up >and said, >Sailor Moon: "I will defeat you!" Crow: Uh, oh. She’s lost it. >Morgoth just watched as he stared at Sailor Moon as she got up. >Sailor Moon: "No one can defeat me. Moon scepter Elimination!" Robosnoid was >toast. Mike: Mmmmm....get the marmalade! > Morgoth disappeared as Sailor Moon fainted. Tuxedo Kamen caught her before >she hit the ground. Crow: Oh, thanks for saving me! Mike: Anytime! > Everyone rushed by her side. Mamoru was weeping. The others was >wondering if Sailor Moon would make a full recovery. Sailor Moon won this round. >The next round was unsure. That will be a story for another time. Crow: Oh, great. > >NEXT EPISODE: "IMPERIUM SILVER CRYSTAL DESTROYED!" Mike: And how to write you own fanfics without even looking at the computer screen. Tom: Don’t even joke about that. Mike: It’s over! Bots: Yay! Crow: At least it was short, huh Mike? Mike: Oh, yeah! Couple more pages it might have started making sense! Mike: Umino’s on the line.... Dr. F: Thank you Frank, there’ll be a little more dirt in your pay envelope this month. Frank: Oohhh...... Dr. F: Down Frank, down. Mike: Hey, we should get paid! Bots: Yeah! Dr. F: Hold it right there! When I say dirt I mean _dirt_, soil, humus, silt! Frank: Wait Steve, I got an idea..... Dr. F: Yes Frank? Frank: Well, wouldn’t giving them money without anywhere to spend it help drive them mad? Dr. F: Why, that’s brilliant! Glad I thought of it! All: Oh, nuts. Dr. F: Until next time....hit it Frank! Frank: Ja mien fuher! Dr. F: How many times do I have to tell you! Don’t compare me to that egomaniacal despot! It’s bad for my image. Frank: Yes, your evilness... ______________________________________________________________________ MST3K stuff belongs to Best Brains and the story belongs to Crystal knight.