Msting by Eric Schepers schepps@hotmail.com ______________________________________________________________________ Mike: Ataru! What do you have to say for yourself? Crow: I confess! I did it and I loved every minute! Tom: Lecher! You shall pay for your crimes against Lum! Mike: Yes, prepare the tickle torture! Crow: No! Not that! Gypsy: Richard Basehart! Mike: Oh, my god! You killed Crow!!!! Tom: You bastards!!!! Crow: I’m fine! Mike: Oh, nevermind. Tom: I better go after her before she breaches the hull. Crow: I can’t wait until we do the tag race skit! Mike: No time, Mendou’s on the line. Dr. F: Cute Nelson. At least I’m the good looking, rich guy! Frank: Yeah, the one that’s also claustrophobic. Dr. F: Hmmm....good point Frank. Crow: Uh, sirs.... Dr. F: Ah, yes. The experiment. Thanks for reminding me you gold-plated hood ornament. Crow: Oops, sorry guys. Mike: We forgive you. Tom: This time. Dr. F: I’ve got another Crystal Knight fanfic for you! This one brings back two of the more lovable characters, Kunzite and Zoicite. Frank: If it was me, I’d have brought back Queen Beryl. Dr. F: Like it matters, Frank. Just push the button you hermaphrodite. Mike: We’ve got Fanfic Sign! Bots: Ventura ventura, space people! *..2..3..4..5..6 > > > PRETTY SOLDIER SAILOR MOON:CRYSTAL SAILORS > Episode:04 [PG-13] > "The Return of Kunzite and Zoicite!" Mike: Is nothing sacred anymore? Crow: Nope. > >Today on Sailor Moon:Crystal Sailors: "The Ice Titan brings back my worst >enemy. Tom: Uh, that’s enemies Marv. > What will they do? Stay there and find out!" >~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Crow: Sanzan eyes! Mike: Now there’s something worth watching. > Usagi stood by her bedroom window, she was deeply in thought. This concerned >Luna. Mike: Who here thinks Luna worries to much? Bots: Me! Mike: Who here cares? > Luna asked Usagi, Tom: Why are most anime heroines airheads? Crow: I wouldn’t call Priss an airhead if I were you Servo. >Luna: "Usagi are you alright?" Usagi wasn't listening. She was thinking about >the last few fights and what happened in each fight. Usagi's mother came up to >Usagi's room and asked her, Mike: What did I do to deserve a daughter like you?! >Mrs. Tsukino: "Usagi dear are you okay?" Usagi turned around and said, >Usagi: "Mother I didn't hear you come in. I am fine. Just thinking about my >friends. I am worried about them." Usagi answered very softly. Tom: Sounded like a lot of sharp edges to me. >Mrs. Tsukino: "If you need to talk, I'll be here for you!" Usagi's mother told >her daughter. This made Usagi very happy that her mother would be there for >her. Mike: Oops, Days of Our Lives is on! >Usagi: "Thanks mom!" Usagi answered back with tears in her eyes. Usagi's >mother went back down stairs. Usagi returned to the window thinking. Crow: What a pane. >Meanwhile at the Ice Titan's palace... Mike: Where the dollar is king... >The Ice Titan said that he needed more henchmen. Tom: I hate it when we come in the middle of the scene. > The Ice Titan mentioned >Kunzite(Malachite) and Zoicite. Crow: Where? >Ice Titan: "I want those two henchmen found brought here!" Ordered the Ice >Titan. Mike: More cemetery work? >Morgoth: "How?" Answered Morgoth. >Ice Titan: "Take these life discs. These discs will bring Kunzite >and Zoicite back to life." Tom: Yes! You too can bring back henchman with the soothing sounds of Kenny G. Mike: I’d rather stay dead. > Briskly ordered the Ice Titan. Crow: Nah, to filling, give me the Roboweed. >Morgoth: "Yes master!" Morgoth answered the ice Titan's order. Morgoth left >suddenly for the land of Dark Kingdom dead. Mike: Their transporter technology is lightyears beyond Star Trek. Crow: It’s easy when you don’t explain how it works. Tom: At least Star Trek gives you the general idea. > Usagi had fallen asleep at the park. Mamoru walked by and noticed that Usagi >was asleep on a park bench. Mike: Now’s my chance! Hehehehe.... Crow: Mike..... > This was not like Usagi. Mamoru woke her up and >asked her, Tom: If Lita needed a boyfriend. >Mamoru: "Are you okay?" Usagi woke up and saw Mamoru. >Usagi: "Yes, Mamoru I am fine. I was thinking about about my friends when I >felt tired and fell asleep." Usagi answered. So Mamoru went on his way. Crow: Nothing wrong with here. Just your girlfriend acting like a bum. > Usagi >started out towards Rei's temple. Mike: Gun in hand. > > In the Dark Kingdom of the dead, Morgoth searched and found Kunzite and >Zoicite. Tom: He works fast. >Morgoth: "Come with me." Commanded Morgoth. Kunzite and Zoicite followed Crow: Morgoth can control the dead? Mike: When will the surprises ever end? >Morgoth put the Life Discs on Kunzite and Zoicite. They appeared in the throne >of the ice Titan. Mike: Ewww....clean up, aisle seven....... >The Ice Titan was pleased to see them. He commanded them and Morgoth and >Robosniperdown to destroy Crystal Sailor Moon. Tom: The Robo sniper’s down! Take ‘im boys! Crow: What the..? You’re not the Prince of Darkness! Mike: Yeah! You can’t tell us what to do! > Usagi never made it to the temple. Morgoth, Kunzite, Zoicite and Robosniper >appeared. Usagi was surprised to see her old enemy had returned. Crow: They’re the same person now? Tom: Kunzite and Zoicite combined would be....Zoizite? Mike: No, a plot contrivance. >Usagi: "I am not in a cheerful mood! I am taking it out on you! Mike: What’s her problem? Crow: I’ll tell you later. >Moon Crystal Enchantment Power! Make Up!" Cried Usagi. Usagi transformed into >Crystal Sailor Moon. >Kunzite and Zoicite was shocked to see Tsukino Usagi transform into Sailor >Moon. Tom: They never saw her do it before? > > Crystal Sailor Moon was attacked by Robosniper and the others. Usagi got her >communicator and called the others she had needed their help quickly. Sailor >mars was the first to appear. Crow: She had enough time to beat them herself. Why bother getting help? Mike: So the author can say he doesn’t just use Usagi. >Sailor Mars: "Mars Fires...Ignite!" Mars used her Fire soul attack. The others >appeared. Each of them used their powers on all the monsters. Mike: Hey, you can’t do that! Tom: Now Mike, if the author took the time to describe all the Senshi and their powers the story would probably be better but a lot longer. Mike: Oh, yeah. We don’t want that. > Crystal Sailor >Moon called for her Moon Crystal Staff and said... Crow: Alright, who wants it?! >Crystal Sailor Moon: "Moon Crystal Staff Elimination!" Robosniper died. Tom: Once again proving that airheads kick ass. >Morgoth, Kunzite and Zoicite disappeared. Mike: Then reappeared and destroyed them utterly... > > Later Luna told Usagi that she was proud of her because Usagi fought very >bravely. Crow: It’s easy to be brave when all you have to do is wave a wand and say a couple words. >Usagi: "Luna I am sorry for ignoring you. I won't ignore you again. I >promise!" Answered Usagi. Tom: That’s ok! You can ignore me all you want! In fact, I’m begging you! >Luna: "It's okay. I know you been pressured lately. I am very proud of you." >Rei: "I am very proud of you. I look up to you more." Mike: And thus the gigantic Usagi proceeded to the big top becoming one of the most famous freaks ever.... >Usagi: "Thanks. I am glad I have friends like you." Crow: Can I crash on your couch for a while man? > > Usagi was not hurt. Her friends was still on her mind.... Tom: Along with “The Song That Never Ends”. > >NEXT EPISODE: "WARNING OF DOOM TO USAGI!" All: THIS IS SERIOUS! DON’T LAUGH! Mike: Whew, let’s go. Mike: Hey, where’s Dr. F? Frank: He’s calling Ralph on the porcelain phone. Mike: What happened? Frank: Well, he was reading the next fanfic and suddenly ran for the bathroom. Dr. F: Push it Frank! Frank: You heard the man! ______________________________________________________________________ All MST3K stuff is owned by Best Brains. --The others appeared. Each of them used their powers on all the monsters.--