Msting by Eric Schepers schepps@hotmail.com ______________________________________________________________________ Mike: Oh, hello. Today’s spring cleaning on the Satellite of Love. Crow: Technically we don’t have spring, so we end up doing this about once a month. Tom: Oh, well. Gypsy: Hey Mike, where do you want this box of hamdingers? Mike: Jettison it. Crow: Tape of the Star Trek pilot sans Leonard Nimoy? Mike: Hmmmm....put it in the Trek pile. Crow: Ok. Tom: Hey look, a copy of Mitchell! And a tape of Cave Dwellers! Mike: Burn ‘em. Crow: Lindbergh baby? Mike: Put it in the box of hamdingers and jettison it. Mike: Uh, oh. The MADS calling. Tom: Maybe we should find out why they’re so mad. Dr. F: Well, I see you’re keeping busy. Make sure you change the pan under the fridge. Frank: And, whatever you do, don’t drink the water. Mike: How are you doing Doc? Dr. F: Much better since I got Deep 13, and the Random Rancid Sailor Moon Fanfic Maker (RRSMFM) fixed. Here’s yet another fanfic from Crystal Knight. Mutilate ‘em Frank. Frank: My pleasure your super nastiness. Mike: SM SIGN! *..2..3..4..5..6 > >Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon:Crystal Sailors! > > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > >Episode:06 >"Usagi's Last Stand!" >Part 2 of 5. >By Who09@aol.com >****************************************** >Usagi was lying on the ground lifeless. Mike: She found out she was still in this fanfic. Crow: You ever notice the lack of credits in these fanfics? Tom: Yeah, maybe he’ll get sued. > She had saved her from thier ultimate destruction, but she couldn't save herself. Crow: Again. > Everyone morned the loss of a great hero and friend, even Rei. All seemed to be lost when >Artemus saw Usagi move! Artemis told the others. Tom: Hey, she’s still twitching! Watch what happens when I step on her abdomen! >Artemis: "Look,did you see that? I saw Usagi's muscle move!” Mike: It just so happened to be Artemis’ favorite muscle, too. >Tuxedo Kamen: "No, It's just an after death muscle spasm." Mike: Stupid cat, can’t you see I’m still grieving?! Crow: Death Muscle Spasm ®. Tom: Wow, nice use of ascii. > Tuxedo Kamen answered. Crow: I’m sorry, but you must phrase that in the form of a question. > The movements of Crystal Sailor Moon increased. Tom: While the plot movement, unfortunately, stayed the same. >Crystal Sailor Moon: "What going on?" Mike: Oh, we’re having a good old barbecue. Were you a friend of the deceased? >Asked Crystal Sailor Moon. Everyone was shocked that after what happened to >Crystal Sailor Moon, that she would pull through! Crow: If she lives through this story that’ll be even more impressive. > Usagi was not well. Tom: Thanks, but we already knew. > She >could hardly remember who she was and what her mission was. Mike: It was to discover new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no Senshi has gone before. > Crystal Sailor Moon began talking >before her memory was tottaly gone. >Crystal Sailor Moon: "I am through, my mission is incomplete and my memory is >almost gone. Venus.” >Sailor Venus: "Yes?” Tom: Nothing, she just likes saying Venus. Mike: You mean there are other Senshi in this fanfic? Crow: From one airhead to another, I’m sensing a pattern. >Crystal Sailor Moon: "I transfer the leadership of the Sailor Soldiers to you. >Also I give you my Silver Crystal, my wand, and the Luna pen as well. Usae it >to transform into a likeness of me. Tom: Why? Crow: Cuz I’m better lookin’! Mike: No way. > Remember I am always with you...." Crystal >Sailor Moon disappeared into particles of light. Crystal Sailor Moon had >vanished from their sight! Mike: That’s usually what disappeared means. Tom: He’s a poet and didn’t know it. > >The others thought they had lost the most important part of their team. Rei >sensed that Usagi was still alive, just that she had lost her memory. Crow: Then how does she remember who she is and who they are and what her gadgets do? >Sailor Mars: "We need to find her! There's no telling what the Ice Titan will >do if he finds her!" Tom: Let me guess, put her on ice? > Sailor Mars reported to the other Sailor Soldiers >of their current problem. Mike: They were there, didn’t they see what happened? > The others agreed and they left for Rei's temple. Crow: Known for it’s warm climate and duty-free shopping. Tom: Off the beltway. > >Meanwhile the Ice Titan was again angry that Usagi was still alive. All: So are we.... >Ice Titan: "Come here all of you!" Ice Titan ordered his four henchmen. So >Belogore, Morgoth, Kunzite and Zoicite was before the Ice Titan. Tom: He doesn’t need Kunzite and Zoicite, he can make more crappy robots. Crow: Let’s see....Robonoid? Robosquid? Roborock? Robomonkey? Robo- Mike: That’s enough. >Ice Titan: "Search and destroy Usagi. Understand? I can't have Crystallina freed. She must be >killed! Now go!” Mike: Kill this, maim that. When we get back, I’m starting a union. >Morgoth, Belogore, Kunzite and Zoicite: "Yes master!" All the henchmen left >the Palace of the Ice Titan to search for Usagi. > >It had been sometime since Usagi's parents had seen Usagi. They began to >worry. They called the Tokyo Police. They gave a discription of their daughter >Usagi. Crow: Well, she looks like she has meatballs on her head...Hello? Hello? > The Police did a search for usagi, but they came up with nothing. >Minako and the others did not know what to do. They decided to search for >Usagi. While searching for Usagi, they ran into the four henchmen of the Ice >Titan! Tom: On our new How-To video, you to can kill the plot in four easy steps! >Minako: "Let's do it for Usagi's honor! Venus Power!” Crow: What honor? >Ami: "Mercury Power!” >Rei: "Mars Power!" >Makoto: "Jupiter Power!” Mike: Ah, the lesser known Senshi. >Each of the Sailor Soldiers used their powers on the henchmen, but it wasn't >working. So Sailor Venus decided to use the Luna pen. Crow: No Mina, this isn’t a lemon! Tom: Take it outside! >Sailor Venus: "Moon Power! Turn me into Crystal Sailor Moon!" Tom: Do we really need to see this? Mike: Well, you could cover your eyes. Tom: Arms don’t work! Arrrggghhh.... > Sailor venus was >transformed into a likeness of Crystal Sailor Moon! She called forth the >Crystal Moon staff. Mike: Does she need to look like Serena to use that thing? Crow: Do you question the plot?! Tom: Always. >Sailor Venus: "Moon Crystal Staff Elimination!" The energy zapped the henchmen >and the henchmen disappeared in defeat. Crow: Please be dead. Mike: The bad guys? Crow: No, the author. > Sailor Venus returned to normal and >fainted. >Sailor Mercury: "What happened?” Tom: Amy is the smart one, right? Crow: Going by this fanfic, yes. >Luna: "Crystal Sailor Moon'spower must have been too much for her. > I think >she'll be fine." Tom: Or she might die, either way I’m happy. Crow: We’ll all be happy. > This day they didn't find Usagi. Usagi was still in danger >all though disappeared at the same time as Crystal Sailor Moon! Mike: Usagi and Crystal Sailor Moon being two very different people. Crow: What fanfic are we in now? > Could usagi's >deepest secret finally leaked out? Only time will tell.... Crow: Well, the author might want to tell us, hmmm? Tom: The Sailor Scouts don’t know her secret identity? > >TO BE CONTINUED.... > >NEXT EPISODE: "The Search For Usagi!” Tom: Who here thinks she’s going to stay dead? Crow: Not me. Mike: Let’s go. Mike: The story keeps repeating. For instance: Serena dies, bad guys whup Senshi, a robot with a crappy name shows up, Serena comes back, kicks ass, and Mamoru screams about odango’s. Tom: What are ya gonna do? Mike: Several things spring to mind. Crow: I got some to, we could make a list! Tom: And then mail it to the author with a stern note? Mike: Well, that’s not quite what I had in mind...... Mike: Oh, it’s Doctor Feel-bad. Dr. F: You got that right. We’ll see you later boys, have fun now ya hear? Frank: That’s enough Hee-Haw for you doc. ______________________________________________________________________ MST3K stuff belongs to Best Brains.