Presenting "MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER NIGHTS" by Nightbreak THE "DEATH SCOUTS" SAGA BEGINS (w/ short "Johnny Bravo's Adventure in Tokyo") (A Double Sailor Moon MSTing) "Johnny Bravo's Adventure in Tokyo" belongs to Mamoru13, and is MSTed with his permission. "The Death Scouts" is property of Sailor Destiny, and is also MSTed with her permission. Sailor Moon is property of Naoko Takeuchi and some American Company that shall remain nameless. Mystery Science Theater is the property of Best Brains Inc. and other people who work with that show. All copyrights are respectfully theirs. I don't have any money, anyways. So I doubt they would get anything out of suing me. Soi belongs to Watashi Yuu, the creator of Fushigi Yuugi. I make no claim on her. On The Record: After many months of inactivity, (Translation: writing my own fanfics), I am back! I was originally going to make my return with a Dr. Thinker Meta-MSTing, but my disks were stolen, rendering the entire MST useless. However, it shall rise from the ashes once again. *SATELLITE OF LOVE, 2100 HOURS* *4000 EEKLEPLEKS ON MARS* *AND HOCKEY IN CANADA THREATENS TO GO SOUTH* "So, which one's that?" "Looks like the Satellite of Predacons. I've never seen so much metal sticking out since I last saw Crow's Playbot magazines." "Oookay. And that one?" "Don't recognize it. Must be a new one. Joel!" The sleepy-eyed Gizmonic employee looked out of his room. "Yes, Tom?" "We've got more Satellites up here and we're trying to keep track of them all. Lend a hand!" "Why bother?" Joel yawned, crossing the hall. "Most of them are just going to crash back to earth." Soi looked up from the blackboard she was scribbling on. "Tom has this crazy notion that he has to know who's in charge of each satellite." "Why is that?" Tom swivelled his bubbledome around. "*Because* . . . if someone hits us, we can sue the villains down there for millions of dollars! Hey, there's the Satellite of Love 04! That's Pearl's! Mark it down." Peering out the hall window, Joel's eyes widened as he saw a handful of theater seats float by. "Looks like someone hasn't been enjoying their movie selection lately." "Can you blame them?" "I guess not," he acknowledged, "How many have you guys tracked so far?" "About forty," Soi replied, marking down the Satellite of Eternal Torment. "Make that forty-one," Crow said, coming up from the shuttle bays. "Four poor suckers in the The Satellite of Whatever just got high orbit right above us." "Hey, there's only so much room up here," Joel commented, "How come NASA hasn't spotted us yet?" "There's no law against launching satellites, Joel. Besides, even if we're bigger than a breadbox, we're still smaller than Pakistan. If you told them where we were and give them about fifty years, they just might spot us, if we're lucky." "So we're still stuck up here. How about the Fanfic Switcher?" Soi sighed. "Still under repair. I managed to call Washu at the Club earlier. She said that it'll be ready in a few more days. Maybe." The lights darkened suddenly, bathing them all in a garish red light. "Too bad, because Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber are calling." Just then, the whole Satellite seemed to lurch wildly beneath their feet, knocking Joel and Soi into Tom and Crow beak-first into the blackboard. "Owwww!" "Hey, Tom! Take your beak out of my bust!" "How can I when you're on me? Saaaay, no padding!" With an indignant shriek, Soi reached beneath her and yanked the red bot out. "Hentai!" she snapped. Joel stumbled into the bridge, falling onto the button as the Satellite rocked again. "Sirs? What's going on down there?" *DEEP 13* Laughter echoed throughout the underground laboratory. But it wasn't the usual maniacal, evil-scientist, Taking-Over-The-World laughter. "Ah, if it isn't the Satellite Census Board," sneered Dr. Clayton Forrester. "Don't mind us, boobies. Myself and some of my fellow fiendishly evil associates are just having a game of space hackey-sack! And you get to be the hacks!" Reaching down, Dr. Forrester twisted a set of controls, whipping the Satellite of Love around again. On the viewscreen, the crew screamed and hung on for dear life. "Now, you'd better show me your new invention for this week, Joel! Or else I'll start doing *fancy* tricks!" *SATELLITE OF LOVE* Holding onto the console with one hand, Joel produced a small brownish lump. "Right-ho, sir! I decided to try my hand at genetic engineering this week, so I've crossed an Idaho potato with a sponge!" He offered it to Soi, who looked doubtful, then took a bite. Her face twisted in disgust. "PAH!! That tastes absolutely horrible!" He shrugged. "I know. But it sure holds a lot of gravy!" *DEEP 13* "Ah, yes. Very amusing, boobies. Well, wait until you see our invention! The latest, the greatest, and the most advanced system of its kind! Frank, bring out the Dr. Forrester Burglar Alarm System!" TV's Frank hopped into the room, tied up with rope. "Bad news, Dr. F. The burglar alarm was just stolen." Dr. Forrester winced. "Oh, lovely. Frank, either get it back for me, or I'll shoot you up there for a nice game of High Orbit Pinball!" "Uh, right away, Dr. F!" As Frank jumped out the door, Dr. Forrester turned back to the console with a not-so-nice smile. "Well, a double treat for you today, kids. . .." *"Hey Clayton, pay attention over there! That shot was yours!"* His Evilness blinked and looked over his shoulder at his monitor bank. "Sorry, Vince! Just torturing my guinea pigs!" He turned back. "Gotta go now, kiddies. Oh, and would you hold still for a second? I need to knock our ball back in." Grinning devilishly, he pulled the control levers in opposite directions. *SATELLITE OF LOVE* The bridge was spinning wildly upside down and around as the lights and sirens went off. All: "OHHHHHH, WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!" (Begin Vintage 80's Cartoons Door Sequence!) Door 6: *Care Bears!* Door 5: *The Smurfs!* Door 4: *Dungeons and Dragons!* Door 3: *Captain N: Game Master!* Door 2: *Alvin and the Chipmunks!* Door 1: *The Real Ghostbusters!* Joel enters the theater, carrying Tom in his arms. He puts the robot down in the fourth seat, sitting himself in the third. Crow and Soi follow them in, taking the second and first seats respectively. Crow: I'm kind of glad that Dr. F. installed some Star Trek Technobabble-thingy . . . gravity generators in here! Soi (wincing and holding her stomach): Agreed. ROLL EM!! > >Title: Johnny Bravo's adventure in Tokyo Tom (reading): Hey, this is scary. Take the first letter of each word. Soi: Jbait? Tom: Sailor Moon. *Jail*bait? Coincidence? Joel: Tom, leave that kind of stuff to the Conspiracy Guy. >Name: Mamoru13 Crow: 13 in a limited edition set of 10! Soi: Ohhh, God. One's bad enough. >Address: Mamoru13@usa.net >Rated PG: Joel: Kids, make sure you have your parents' guidance before you e-mail! > Sailor Moon and Johnny Bravo are the respective property of their > owners. Soi: Just not the *respected* property of their owners. Although, I'll make an exception for Takeuchi-sama. > At this time I would like to thank Cartoon Network for bringing > us Sailor Moon in prime time. Crow: Just one more blonde ditz to add to the lineup. Joel: Along with Kelly Bundy, Gabrielle, Gina, and a former Corky Sherwood > This idea came to me while chatting in ##sailormoon on ef-net. Tom: And here we have proof that computer radiation CAN cause brain damage. >This is the first fan fic I have ever completed and published. Joel (author): Uh, the others are insulating my garage. > Flames will be donated to the local Human Society for the lining of > cages. Crow: What kind of place keeps humans in cages? Soi: Other than the Planet of the Apes? Crow: Yeah. Tom: Microsoft? > Please send comments and/or criticism to Mamoru13@usa.net. > >Johnny Bravo's adventures in Tokyo! Tom (Johnny): Do the Monkey with me, Tokyo! All: (Start doing the Monkey) > We see Johnny trying to pick up a date in the Juban district of Tokyo. Crow (Johnny): Aw, there's gotta be a fruit stand around her somewhere. > A large mob is spotted running towards Johnny. Joel (mob): Run! It's a movie starring Jim Varney AND Pauly Shore! > Mob "Run for your lives its a monster attack." Soi (mob): And he's stealing punctuation! Tom: Ah, I knew the Carlotti family was nothing but a bunch of wimps. > Johnny "Sounds like trouble, I better go help." Crow (Johnny): But first I gotta comb my hair real fast! Whoa! Wow! > We see Johnny go through his quick change Tom (Johnny): Aw, now where did I put that phone card? Hey, a 1957 buffalo nickel! > and is now dressed up in his Judo outfit. The next shot is Johnny > running towards the park people are running from. Joel (Johnny): I call dibs on the swingset! >Its not long before Johnny comes upon a battle. Crow (Johnny): Hey, Mr. Custer! Need a hand? > He decides to go ask the Sailor Senshi if he can help in theie > battle to defeat the Yomen. Tom: Yomen? Soi: Yeah. See, back in ancient days, the Yomen were feared watchers of the Tenchi Muyo series. They were renowned for their uncanny ability to nail the title scene "Yooooo!" in perfect sync. Tom: Oh, like this? All: YOOOOOOO! Soi: Exactly > Johnny goes to the closest Sailor and starts his muscle flexing routine. Crow: And made the mistake of singing "In the Navy". Joel: Dead man. > Johnny "Hey there pretty lady, I was wound.,..... Tom: Wounded? Is he getting better? Soi: No stunt doubles in the fanfic world, you know. > Sailor Jupiter "Ewwwww...A pervert" Tom (Johnny): I prefer the term hormonally-altered, if you don't mind. > We see Johnny become a human projectile Joel (Johnny): Do I at least get my luggage on the same flight? Tom (Johnny): There's . . . a clown on . . . the wing of the plane! >and Mercury running up to help him with hearts in her eyes. Crow: Great. Now it's a remake of "Ami-chan's First Love" >Sailor Mercury "Are you allright sir?" Tom (Johnny): I'm only gonna say this once. Don't. Touch. The glasses! > Ignoring Mercury, Johnny spots Venus using her love me chain. > Johnny gets the wrong idea Crow: As always. Joel (Johnny): Hey, pepper spray! Isn't that what they use for . . . *PSSSHHT!* > and heads directly toward her and starts the muscle flexing > routine. Soi: Now this is where I start talking about men again. > Johnny "Hey there little lady, how might I...." > Sailor Venus "Ewwwww.....Go Away!" Joel: Oh, come on. Mina's not that picky. Especially when someone's got hair that's as big as hers! > Once again we see Johnny become a human projectile and Mercury > running up to help him. Crow (Johnny): Aw, hey there, how about rustling me up a drink and some peanuts, sweetcheeks? > At this time he spots Mars. > > Johnny "Wow Mama, What a Hot Mama!" Tom (Johnny): Oh Mama, that's one red planet! > He rushes up to Mars Ignoring Mercury and starts his Judo routine. Soi (Johnny): Wanna take a Butterfinger break with me, baby? > Johnny "Hey there Hot Mama, I was wondering how I .... > Sailor Mars "Ewwwwwww" Joel: Johnny, better double-check your fire insurance. > Johnny looks dumbfounded as he becomes a Human French Fry. Crow (Johnny): She's in denial. > Mercury has broken out the burn cream and starts to apply it. Ignoring > Mercury he sports Moon and rushes up to her. Tom: And Moon's carrying the plot down the sideline . . . there's the rush and the tackle by Johnny! Oh, A FUMBLE! Fumbleliah! Fumblerooski! > All of a sudden a rose lands between Johnny and Sailor Moon. Crow (Johnny on cellphone): Aw, I ordered a dozen by airmail, not one. > Sailor Moon "Look! Its Tuxedo Mask! He came to save me from this pervert" > Tuxedo Mask "Don't even think about approaching her you pervert." Soi: Shaddap and play some flamenco, Darien. > Johnny "What is wrong with you , Crow: There is no true answer to that question. Even the greatest psychologists in the Multiverse are stumped. > I was just trying to ask these Hot Mamas how I could help them > in fighting the monster." Tom: So, the Sailor Scouts have taken the name of a motorcycle gang? Crow: Hey, I can see them riding on Harleys, wearing tattoos and leather! Soi: Of course you can, Crow. > Hearing this the Yomen bends over double in laughter. Sailor Moon takes > this opportunity to Moon Dust the Yomen. Crow: First she flipped her skirt up at it, then took a feather duster to it! Mooned and Dusted! Tom: No, that's just your biggest Sailor Moon fantasy. Crow: No, that's only 9th on my Top Ten Sailor Senshi Fantasies. > We see Sailor Mercury clinging to Johnny like glue. > > Johnny "Go away kid, your bothering me." Joel (Johnny): Hey, why am I feeling a draft . . .? Gimme back my pants! > Sailor Mercury lets go and starts to cry..... > > Johnny "Now please don't cry kid." Tom (Mercury): *Sniff!* All because he doesn't like Hot Mercury Pie! > Sailor Moon "I am Sailor Moon, Champion of Justice! Soi: Whatever, sister. You. Me. MTV's Celebrity Death Match, tonight. > I right wrongs and triumph over jerks like you. For breaking Sailor > Mercury's heart I shall punish you." Crow: Better take out the crew of the Circles of Time project for having her get pregnant by Mamoru and having a daughter named Setsuna. > Johnny develops a sweat drop. Tom (Johnny): Aw, I love Polaroid cameras. >Moon Revenge is starting to play in the back ground. Joel: Performed by the New York Philharmonic. Crow: With guest vocalists Pavarotti and Marylin Manson. > Shot of Johnny running for his life as the girls direct attacks towards > him. We see the sun setting in the background.. All (singing): At the Happy Haunted Funshine House, we can groove . . . > End > > Here is to the worst fan fic in history! All: CHEERS!! > My next project should I ever find time for it is the Sailor Senshi > meet Sailor Cow and Tuxedo Chicken. Soi: Okaaaay. I think someone's spending waaay too much time in Funnieland. > Fighting Evil by Moolight, Eating Pork Butts by Daylight. Crow: . . . Words fail me. Soi: Yep. Tom: Uh-huh. Joel: Me too. > Notes: Johnny Bravo is a Cartoon Original by Cartoon Network. Tom: And a hell of a lot better than the Powerpuff Girls. > Think of Elvis, God's Gift to Wemon, Crow: There's a liberated, politically correct spelling if I ever saw one. > and Indivual without a clue rolled up into one. You can see a > Gif of Johnny at www.cartoonnetwork.com/dl. Joel "407 error . . . This file is too goofy for you to access." The hell? > As for why Mercury was clinging onto Johnny, I got that idea from the > Johnny Bravo meets Scobby Doo episode. Soi: A *classic* crossover. I have my copy on DVD. > I won't spoil it for those of you who have not seen it. Why Mercury? > Well somebody had to do it. Tom: And let's face it. It's better than Reeny. Crow: Amen! *** DR. F. (Over Audio System): And Now, For Our Feature Presentation!! I Remind You That There Is No Smoking, No Cell Phones, No Pagers, No Freedom Of Thought, And No Keeping Your Sanity While The Movie Is Playing!! Soi (grumbling): Gee, thanks. *** ROLL EM AGAIN!! > Sailor Destiny > baby_jade01@hotmail.com Tom: Sharp little tyke, isn't she? > Death Scouts part 1: The Death > pg13 Crow: I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it. Joel: Well, as you can see, here it is on page 13. > Hi minna. I'm back and not to late this time. I hope that you all are > enjoying my stories. This one is kinda sad. Soi (lifting a box): Got the Kleenex! > It shows something that we all know about the scouts and what Serina > would do for them. Tom: Get them longer skirts and nice fur coats for winter days? > Well as always all standard disclaimers apply so please don't sue me. I just > right these for entertainment porpoises only. Joel: I'm quite sure the Marineland dolphins will appreciate that. > Thanks and please Save Our Sailors. Sailor Destiny. Crow: Permission to save the grand pianos, first class luggage, and fine china first, Captain? Joel: Yep. Let the Sailors go down with the ship. > > The Death Scouts > Chapter 1: The Death of the Scouts > By: Sailor Destiny Tom: Well, I can name offhand people who would want to see DIC go down in flames . . . > "Wow out first day of high school can you believe it?" said a young girl > with long blond hair and crystal blue eyes. Crow (girl): Those poisonous gas scares really do wonders for early days! > Her hair was pulled into a high ponytail reaching her ankles. Her name > was Serina. All: Hi, Serina! Soi (Fellow AA member): And how long have you been sober? > "No way it's too amazing to believe." Said another girl with blond hair > that stopped at her waist. She had clurean blue eyes, Tom: Is that anything like baby blue? > her name was Mina. All: Hi, Mina! Tom: But, for the purposes of this fanfic, we changed her name to Ramases. > "Well I can." Said another girl. She had brown hair that was pulled into a > ponytail reaching her shoulders and emerald green eyes, Joel: I see Lita had reconstructive surgery to lower her eyes into her armpits. > her name was Lita. All: Hi, Lita! Crow: Tell us, Lita. What's it like being made to sound like Nicole Bass? > "Hey Serina did mom remember to give you some cookies?" asked a > young girl who looked just like Serina, Soi (Serina): Well, she muttered something about tossing hers in my direction . .. . > only her hair was silver. Her name was Rena. Tom: Shall we? All: Hi, Rena! Tom: And are you still in your first twenty-four hours of sobriety, Rena? > "No why did she give you some?" Serina asked. "No ." Rena said. Soi (Rena): Forgot to give me the punctuation, too. > "Hey what time does the bell ring for class?" asked a young girl who had > short star blue hair and star blue eyes named Amy. Crow: Bet you anything she has her glasses named, too. > Serina was about to answer her when Lita cut in. "That guy is so cute. He > looks like..." she trailed off. Tom: Bob Barker! > "Your old boyfriend!" Everyone said at the same time and they all began > to giggled. Joel (Pontius Pilate): Does anyone else feel like a little . . . giggle? When I say the name. . . Biggus . . . Dickus? All: (snigger) > "Hey everyone. I want you to meet my older brother." Said a young girl > with long raven black hair that reached her waist and violet eyes said. Soi (whacking herself on the side of the head): ARGH! Proper sentence structure! > "Who is he and why haven't we met him before?" Serina asked Crow: He was found hiding in the broom closet, fearing for his life. > as she turned around from Ray only to stare right into the most > captivating midnight blue eyes she had ever seen in her life. Tom (guy): Hi. Want to hold onto these for a second while I put my lips on? > "Hi I'm Darien." he said as he stared back into her crystal blue eyes > mesmerized. Soi (sighing): Blue eye fetish. Damn, you people! > "Hi I'm Serina." Serina said shakily as he took her hand and kissed it. > There where sighs heard from all over the place. Joel: Why am I hearing dry heaves, though? > " Well I see you two know each other." Ray said, but Serina and Darien > weren't paying attention because they where both caught up in each others > eyes. Crow: Get the Visine!! > Ray was about to say something but was cut off by the bell. Tom: The referee's decision is to declare this fanfic a draw! > "It was a pleasure to meet you Darien." Serina said. "No the pleasure was > all my mine." Darien said as Serina walked off to class. Joel (Darien): There. I said my piece, sucked her fingers. Let me go!! > "Hello and good morning class. I am Mr. Holland, and I will be your > teacher for English I honors." Mr. Holland said as he walked over to his > desk Crow (Holland): Now, the first thing we shall do is all have a good, stiff drink! > and pulled out the scan that held the roll. Tom (Holland): Now, where'd I put that mayo and shaved turkey? > "I want to know whatever you feel comfortable telling me." Mr. Holland > said Soi: Well, I'm a former prostitute, skilled in erotic martial arts, storm control, and I do *great* Shakespeare during the Anime Classics Festival. > right before he began to call the roll. "Armstrong, Darien?" "Hear!" > Darien said as he continued to work on his project. Joel: On the first day of class, too! What a dedicated . . . putz. > *He's so handsome. His eyes so sexy. Crow: Hey, Darien! Sucking up a bit early to the teacher, aren't you? > Where have I seen him before?* Serina thought to herself. Crow: Oh, it's . . . Serina. Of course. > "Crescent, Serina?" "Hear!" Serina replied. Tom (Holland): All of you students with a last name beginning with "B", sod off! > *Her eyes, her hair, her face, her voice. She's beautiful! She must be an > angel. Where have I seen her at before?* Darien thought to himself. Joel: On the TV. Then you asked her to get off and put the antenna back on. > He looked at Serina and once again their gazes caught. Tom (Rick Moranis): I hate it when I get my gaze twisted! > For a brief moment Serina and Darien stared deep into each others eyes > until Serina turned and broke the look. *Well nothing happened > interesting happened Crow (singing): Nothing Happened, Joy Joy, Interest Happened, Joy Joy . . Soi: (whacks Crow in the back of the headnet.) Crow: Whoa. Thanks, I needed that. > to me except becoming Sailor Moon, and I can't tell anyone that.* Serina > thought to herself. While Serina was thinking the bell rang ending first > period. Joel: Fifteen minute intermission before the lack of action resumes! > Serina got up and began to put her things away. Tom (Serina): Mace, Nunchuku, Ball gag . . . Ray, how did I get your bag? > After she closed her back pack and got up to get her folder off her desk > and go on her way to her next period class she looked as saw there was a > bright red rose that hadn't bloomed yet. Soi: I tell ya, they have to start fumigating those lockers earlier in the year. > *someone likes me already. It's too soon* Serina thought to herself as she > picked up the rose and her folder and walked out the class. Crow (Serina): Follow me, class! Right over this cliff! > As she was on her way to class she ran into Amy in the hall. Joel (Amy): Serina, did you have Ray's stuff in your bag, too? > "Oh hey Serina. On your way to class so your not late?" Amy asked > Serina as they walked down the hall. Tom (Serina): Nah. I'm going to go smoke in the boys' room, then trash the principal's office. > "{what class do you have this period Amy?" Serina asked her. "I have > chemistry, what about you." Amy replied. Soi: How about a class in sentence structure? > "I have advanced Band." Serina told her. Tom: Yeah, they teach you to play tuba while riding a goat. > "Well there's the band room and hears the chemistry lab Amy." Amy said Crow: Yep, those explosions get louder every day. > as she walked over to her class. Well I'll see you at lunch Amy. Bye." > Serina said as she walked into the band room. Joel: And she was immediately waylaid by a rubber band. > When Serina got into the band room she saw Rena, Mina, Ray, and > Darien. Tom: Let me guess: They were using their heads for the percussion section. Crow: Why am I not surprised that Darien's being used for the gong? > "Hey Serina, up hear!" yelled Rena from the top row. Joel: Yo, yo, hear up! Nah. . . just doesn't have the same effect. > Serina walked up to the top row and sat down with the others. "I didn't > know you guys could play instruments." Serina said. > "Yeah we all do." Mina said. Soi (Mina): Sure! Let me just demonstrate my "jade flute" technique on Darien, here . . . Joel: SOI!!!! > just as Mina finished talking the band director, Mr. Young, came into the > room. "All right I'm going to call the roll." He said. Tom: Thrill as the roll is called ten times a day, just to fill up a page! > "Armstrong, Darien?" "Hear!" Darien said. "Armstrong, Ray" "Hear." > Ray replied. Crow: I recommend the class buy the teachers some hearing aids. > "Black, Mina?" "Hear." Mina said. Crow: Bueller?. . . Bueller? . . . Bueller? > "Crescent Rena?" "Hear" Rena called. "Crescent, Serina?" "Hear." Serina > replied softly. Joel: Crescent Beam? Soi: Oh, I wish. Believe me, I *wish*. > "So Mina, Ray what instruments do you guys play." Serina asked. Tom (Serina): Other than second fiddle to me? Crow: Oooh. Nice shot, Tom. > "We both play clarinet." Mina said. "Class I want all flute players to move > down to the first row and all the clarinet players on the second, third, and > fourth rows. Crow: This school bought and paid for by "Clarinet Clearing House! We build whole high school bands out of clarinets!" Joel: I tell ya, you pick up a clarinet, and you feel like getting together with other people and forming an "M". > Saxophones on the second row Trumpets on the third and Trombones on > the fourth row." Mr. Young said. Tom (Young): Percussion? We don't need no stinkin' percussion! > Everyone got up and sat on their assigned row. Crow: The executions would be starting at the back row and moving forward. > Rena sat in the third seat from the end, Darien sat in the second from the > end on Rena's right and Serina sat on Darien's right on the end. Soi: Keep watch, guys. I know there's going to be a logic puzzle in here somewhere. > And everyone filled in on Rena's left. "I want the flute players to come up. > The flute row got up and went over to get there flutes. Darien, Serina, > and Rena got good flutes Joel: Just to make sure you're paying attention . . . what kind of instruments do they play? Tom: Ummm . . . Green! Ham and cheese! Pass! > and went into the practice room with some music. Crow: Oh, they get a serenade into the practice room! What a band class! > "Rena I don't remember how to read music." Serina whispered to Rena. > "You do remember you just need to concentrate." Rena told Serina. Soi: Just picture a blowdart and the dubbers at DIC headquarters. > "Ok, hear you two lets play." Darien said as the three of them sat down in > a practice room and began to play. About 20 minutes later Mr. Young > went into the practice room Tom: To this day, it is said that when those flutes are played, blood will run out of the holes. . . Soi: Ewwwwww, that's dark. > to get everyone out when he heard the three of them playing. Crow (Young): My GOD!! What sort of animal are you kids torturing in here? > After so many measures two of the players stop to give one a solo this > time it happened to be Serina's turn. As Serina played Mr. Young stopped > to watch. Joel (Young): Who is that girl? I'd better call the roll again to refresh my memory. > Then Darien and Rena joined in to play repeating the same routine. Mr. > Young walked into the room and stopped them. Tom: Wait a minute! Wasn't he in there already? Soi: No, he just walked into the room to get them out. Then he walked in again and . . . ow, my head. . . > "You three play wonderfully." Mr. Young said to them. Serin and Rena > blushed bright red. "Go put your flutes up, I'm leaving you three Crow: On the side of the highway, smothered in bacon. Tom: What does that do? Crow: Attracts eggs. Tom: Oh. > in charge of the flute section." Mr. Young said. "Thank you." They all > said at the same time as they left to put up their flutes. Joel: And picked up those long-handled whips with which to torture the flute section now at their mercy! Soi: Whoo! Show them who's boss, Serina! > They put up their flutes right as the bell rang. Serina walked over to > pick up her folder and saw another red rose that hadn't bloomed yet. Crow: If it hasn't bloomed yet . . . Tom: Don't think about the fanfic. > She smiled and walked over to the chemistry lab. Everyone sat down > three to a work station's. Joel: Any bets on who'll be sitting together? All: No. > Darien, Serina and Rena all sat at the same table. "Ok I need names of > everyone at your tables. Those will be your work partners for the rest of > the year." Tom: Better call the roll! > Ms. Mena said as she began to call the roll. All: ARGH!! Tom: I WAS KIDDING! > "Armstrong?" "Hear!" Darien said. "Crescent, Crescent?" "Hear!" Serina > and Rena said at the same time. Soi: "Side Street?" Crow: Hear . . . I mean, here! Soi: "Avenue?" Tom: Here! Soi: "Dead End?" Joel: Here! > "Whose who?" Ms. Mena asked the two "I'm Serina and that's Rena. We > can be told a part by hair color." Serina said Crow: Well, that and the fact that you're supposed to be two different ages! > and Ms. Mena continued taking roll. "Ok today we are going to make > cookies." Ms. Mena said. "COOKIES!" Serina and Rena both yelled > happily. All: COOKIES!?? Tom: IN FREAKIN' CHEMISTRY CLASS?? ARRRRGHHHH! *KABOOOOMM!* (Tom's head explodes in a shower of broken glass.) > Darien who had been sitting with them began to chuckle. He reached > behind each girls ear and produced two rose buds. Joel (producing tools): Now, see what happens when you don't wash behind your ears as you're supposed to? (Joel begins fixing Tom's head.) > One white for Rena and red for Serina. Rena smiled at Darien and Serina > blushed as red as the rose bud she now held in her hand, which began to > bloom at her blush. Soi (Serina): Ow! Thornsthornsthornsthornsthorns! Owie, owie!" > Ms. Mena hadn't been paying attention the actions taking place at the > back table was still explaining what was going to happen in the next 10 > minutes. Crow (Mena): First, we'll have some inane dialogue, then I'll call the roll again. > After about 10 minutes Serina, Rena, and Darien's batch of cookies > where done. Crow: Or we can just skip straight to stroking Serina's ego some more! > Serina pulled the batch out of the oven. "They smell great Serina. Lets try > one!" Rena said happily as she took one of the cookies Serina made. > "These are great!" Rena said Joel (putting his tools away): There. That should do it. What do you say, Tom? (Tom spins his head around frantically, then it slows down.) Tom (woozily): I vote we check to see if we left me behind. . . > as Darien and Serina shared the same expression at Serina's cookies. > "Thanks." Serina said. "Now class what have we learned?" Ms. Mena > asked. Soi: That Chemistry class isn't the place for baking? Crow: Why's that? Soi: I think some nitrogen tri-iodide found its way into the mix. Crow: So? Soi: Crow, that powder would explode if a feather touches it. Crow: O>o Uh-oh. . . > "Serina makes the best cookies!" The whole class said. Serina just sat > there and blushed. The bell rang signaling the end of the class period. Crow: All right, everyone into the bathroom to clean up that mess! Joel & Soi: CROW!!! Crow: From the baking, you sickos. Soi (growling): You saved your metal neck with that one . . . > "Hey Serina get some cookies it's time for lunch." Rena said. "Ok." Serina > said as she picked up a fresh batch of cookies that she had just pulled out > of the oven, and then she walked out. Tom (Sigmund Freud): I sense a deep link with cookies in this fic. I recommend a full dinner date at Mrs. Field's! > "Hey Rena take the cookies, I have to go to the bathroom." Serina said > as she handed Rena the bag of cookies. "Ok. I'll meet you in the lunch > area." Rena said as she took the cookies and walked off. Joel: INTENSE . . . COOKIE ACTION! > Serina walked into the direction of the bathroom when she was pulled > into a dark closet. Crow: If this crosses over with The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, I'm leaving. > "Hello cutie, lets say you and me have a little fun." A young man said as > he kissed Serina roughly. *NOOO* Serina thought Tom: Take his tongue, Serina, and shove it so far down his throat that he'll have to unzip his pants to lick a popsicle! > as the boy began to move his hands around Serina's body. As this > happened a bright silvery yellow glow emitted from Serina's forehead, Soi: Ohhh, bye-bye, buddy. Wave bye-bye to your two best friends. > as the glow stopped a bright golden crescent moon appeared on Serina's > forehead. On the other side of the school Rena felt a surge of power Joel (Rena): Big Sister's out kicking some ass! I'd better eat her cookies before she gets back! > coursing through her body and a silver glow emitted from her forehead. > As the glow stopped everything froze around her table. Crow: What is this? The Levis guy's coming out with his cafeteria tray? Soi: Ooh, nice and obscure. > A silver crescent moon appeared. "We've got to find Serina she's in > trouble." Rena said as her and the scouts took off in a run after her. Soi (Sgt. Hooks): Hurry, hurry! Mahoney's in trouble! Mahoney's in trouble! > Back in the closet Serina felt the boy's hand go into her panties, Tom: And she wished she hadn't used them as a hanky earlier in the day. > and she panicked, her hand began to glow in that silvery yellowish color > and a huge burst of power hit the boy in his groin. Joel (Nameless soldier): No! Not that! Tom (Dark Helmet): Yes. *That*. (Makes sound of flesh sizzling.) > As he fell over in pain he looked up and surprised at the different person > he saw Serina was standing in the closet still glowing a light silvery yellow > color, Crow: Oh for . . . this isn't Touched By An Angel. Soi: No, that's already been crossed over with Sailor Moon. Crow: Okay, now I'm sorry I brought it up. > and tears running down her face as s she ran out of the closet. > When Serina got out of the closet she ran right into Darien. "Serina > what happened?" He asked. Tom: Oh, come on. Darien is *not* God. > Serina cried into his arms as Rena ran into the hall Serina was in. "Bunny > what happened?" Rena asked her. Joel (Serina): The toilet paper only comes in two kinds! "Rough" and "Not-So-Rough!" Crow: Bunny? > When Serina say Rena she immediately ran over to Rena. "The boy in the > closet was touching and kissing me in ways I didn't want him to!" Serina > cried out. Soi: Oh, join the club, my dear. I've been through that in my day, too. It's never pleasant, but you just have to kick him in the plums and keep on going! > Rena looked down at the boy who was crawling out of the closet. Crow (Rena): Obviously you didn't hit him hard enough. He's still moving. > The boy looked at Serina and Rena with a sly look in his eyes saying he > would get what he wanted. Tom: But he couldn't have that delicious hamburger topped just the way he liked it for 99 cents! > All the others saw this and began to glow. He looked from one glowing > girl to another Soi (waving cheerfully ): Oh, if Rocky Mavia was here, he would tell you to kiss your Candy Ass goodbye. Not only will you be able to *manger avec* your *derriere,* you'll be *parle*ing out of it, too. > and then to an angry Darien whose eyes where as black as his hair in > anger. The boy seeing all the anger got up and ran. Joel: This doesn't take a Counselor Troi to sense the anger here. Crow (Troi): Did the fanfic do something wrong, Worf? > As the others returned to normal, Serina was still upset and she shot a > beam out of her forehead to hit the boy in his butt. Tom: Ooh! Moon Enema Power! That *had* to hurt! > Then she fainted and Darien caught her. > When Serina woke up she found herself outside in the grass Soi: Oh, about *six feet* in the grass. > of the lunch area. Everything had returned to normal again. "What am I > doing out hear?" Serina asked. "It's a long story, Bunny." Rena said. Joel: And it started about eleven pages ago. Crow: Bunny? > As they began to eat lunch Serina got up and wandered around the > school. Tom: Let me guess. She's on her way to the cafeteria to do her chemistry project? Joel: Well, what else would you consider cafeteria food? Tom: True . . . > As Serina wandered around in the forest of the school she walked into > another young man, Crow: You know, I have this strange feeling we're forgetting something. Something . . . important to the North American Sailor Moon . . . > "Oh excuse me sir." Serina said. "Why hello pretty My name is Albert, Tom: Looks like someone finally let Prince Albert out of the can. Soi: Well, how did he get locked in the bathroom in the first place? Tom: . . . > and I want your energy for the Negaverse!" Albert said as he turned into > a huge ugly youma. Crow: Oh yes, I just remembered. The Monster of the Day! > "I don't think so! MOON PRISM POWER!" Serina yelled as the familiar > surge of power entered her body transforming her into Sailor Moon. Joel: Looks like the author couldn't afford all the mind-numbing special effects that go with the transformation. Soi: That's not a *bad* thing, mind you. > Arnold threw a huge ball of Nega Energy at Sailor Moon but she easily > dodged it and kicked him in the head. All: BOOT TO THE HEAD! Bots: NYAH-NYAH! > "I think you need to be taught a lesson in proper introductions," Sailor > Moon began. Crow: First, you insult her for 100 days, then fall in love with her, then treat her like dirt some more . . . > "I am the champion of justice and the protector of the Moon. I am Sailor > Moon and your done with! Tom (Serina): Look, we aren't getting paid much for this, so play along and we can go for a beer later. > MOON LIGHT VANQUISH!" Sailor Moon said as a beam of moonlight > hit her teirra and struck Albert. Soi: Nice to know the moon's reflecting the sun's light AT HIGH NOON!! > "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" Albert yelled as he became moondust. Sailor > Moon detransformed back into Serina and went on her way. Joel: Okay, the obligatory Negaverse attack is out of the way. Back to the dull grind of the school day. Crow: And attendance checks. > When Serina looked up she was in a huge rose garden with couples > sitting all around. Tom: If Himemyia and Utena show up, my head will explode again. > Serina walked over to an empty bench and sat down. *This is so > peaceful. I like it hear* Serina thought to herself. Soi: Great, lovely. It's your next class, Serina. "Cliched Courtship 101." > "May I join you Serina?" Darien asked her as he came up behind her. > "Sure Darien." Serina said as Darien sat down next to her. Joel (Darien): Aye. G'day. Crow (Serina): Aye. Joel (Darien): Night's a fair drawn, is'nae? Crow (Serina): Aye. > She leaned up against him and he held her tightly. "Darien why does this > feel so right?" Serina asked. Soi (Darien): Well, I'm not groping you yet, so maybe that's it . . . > "I don't know but I like it." Darien said. Darien looked down at Serina > with her eyes closed and kissed her cheek softly. Crow: I'm starting to get a toothache. Joel: Crow, you don't have teeth. Crow: All right. A beakache, then! Can we kill the cotton candy mood? > When Serina opened her eyes and Darien looked up they where looking > up at the earth. "I've never seen the earth from this angle before." Serina > said. Tom: The hell? Wait a minute! STOP THE FIC! Soi: What's wrong, Tom? Tom: They're not on earth, right? Crow: Right. Tom: And they're not on the moon, since Serina's tiara reflected moonlight earlier, right? Joel: Right. Tom: THEN WHERE ARE THEY??? ON THE SUN? ARRRRGGGHHH! *KAAAAABOOOOOOM!* (Tom's head spins crazily before exploding once again in sparks and glass.) > "I know." Darien said "It's so beautiful." Serina said as she leaned closer > into Darien's embraced. Joel (wincing): Gypsy? Can we bring another head? Tom thought about the fic again! Gyspsy (over intercom): Roger! > "Not as beautiful as the angle in my arms." Darien said. Serina began to > blush. Soi: Ooh, Darien, you sly devil, you! > "Darien who are we, really?" Serina asked Darien. "I don't know." Darien > said as he looked into Serina's eyes. Crow (Darien): But the words "Baa Weep Granna Baa Weep Ninnibaum" sound rather familiar. > Their faces inched closer and closer together until they where locked in a > passionate kiss as the earth began to glow. (Gypsy enters the theater, bringing a pair of bubbledomes to Joel) Gypsy: Mmmmmpph. Joel: Thanks, Gypsy. Gypsy: Mmmph. (She leaves again, still mumbling to herself.) > As they kissed the bell rang signaling it was time to go to class. Darien > and Serina broke the kiss and got up. "We better get going. Crow: Can't be late for roll call, huh? > Before we're late for class Serina said. Darien put his arm protectively > around Serina's shoulders and they walked back to the lunch area to get > their things. Joel (repairing Tom's shattered dome): Pick up the plot, too. Tom can't take much more of this. > "Where have you two been?" Ray asked. "None of your business Ray." > Darien said as everyone picked up their things and went their separate > ways. Soi (Ray): Darien, bro? That's my bag full of . . . things. > Serina and Rena walked down the hall to their Geometry class when > Serina stopped in horror at what she saw on the floor. Tom (new bubbledome on): What, someone dropped a cookie, then stepped all over it? > Rena who wasn't paying attention b4cause Crow: B4? Cause you sunk my Battleship! > of all the people around ran right into Serina. "Come on Serina or we'll be > late." Rena said as she tried to get Serina to budge. Soi: Want a cattle prod? > But Serina wasn't moving and the bell rang signaling they where now late. > "Serina what is it?" Rena asked. Joel (Serina): They're using bowling balls for the dodgeball games in the gym! > She looked over Serina's shoulder and gasped loudly at the sight in front > of her. Rena's hands went up to her mouth as she whispered to herself. > "ohmygod" Tom (Rena): So that's what an exposed colon looks like! > Then a scream erupted from Serina's lips, as she ran to the body on the > floor. It was her best friend Molly. Crow: And some crazy practical joker had drawn a chalk outline around her. > A few of the teachers came out of their classrooms to see what the noise > was about. When the saw Serina crying over Molly's body covered in > blood Soi: Okay, I'm finding this a little much. Do you mean to tell me that in a hallway that was crowded with students less than five seconds earlier, Serina is the only one to notice a girl lying in a pool of blood? Joel: Well, yes. Soi: AAAUUUGGGH! I'm okay. I'm calm. . . I'm calm . . . > they froze and the students leaked out of the room and formed a circle > around the three girls. Crow: And now, is time to dance! > Darien walked out of his class when he saw his class walk out Joel: Hey, when in Rome, roam around like the Romans do. > and gather around the girls. He pushed his way through the crowd and > was amazed to see Serina and Rena in the middle of the circle. Tom (muttering): Not as if that hair isn't a dead giveaway. > Rena ran over to Serina and pulled her off of Molly's body. "Come on > Serina." Soi: One hentai remark from you, Crow . . . Crow: Nuh-uh. > Rena said as she led a hysteric Serina away from the body. When Serina > saw Darien she ran over to him crying. Joel (Serina): Why me? Why do I have all the traumatic experiences in this fic? WAAAAAAAHHHHHH! > Darien held her close and tried to comfort her but he couldn't. Tom: Darien's losing his virility, it looks like. Crow: Someone put saltpeter in the cookies. > Rena walked over to Serina and said something an a strange language and > the crying girl was fast asleep in Darien's arms. Soi: Oookay. This is making less and less sense as we go on. > Then a beep was heard on the intercom system. "This is the principal > Dr. Gates, Joel (Dr. Gates): By now, you should all be aware of the penalty for not accepting the new Internet Explorer browser with Windows 2000. > I'm closing school due to a tragedy. Everyone is to go directly home right > now. Thank you." Dr. Gates said. Tom (Dr. Gates): And bring me some of those cookies from the chem. lab. I'm hungry after that announcement. > Darien picked up Serina and walked out the school followed by Rena, > Mina, Lita, Amy, and Ray. They all went to the park and let Serina rest. Crow (Darien): Well, looks like Serina gets the garbage can tonight. Mina, you and Lita can take the gopher hole, Amy and Ray can have the tree, and I'll camp out with Rena in the slide. > "Now I have to tell you something. But in this language only you guys can > understand." Rena said. Soi: Owna, a ongla imeta goaa, nia a alaxyga arfa arfa wayaa . . . > Rena told them in a strange moment and they all passed out. Tom: Wha? Must have been from lack of comprehension. > When Serina woke up she looked at Darien and then at Rena. > "Mother what's going on?" Serina said. All: MOTHER? Soi: I thought she was a young girl! Crow: Looks like she's not *that* young. > "Princess, the Negaverse is back and they want the crystal that's why they > killed Molly. Joel: Bad move. They just killed the Negaverse version of the Energizer Bunny. > Their doing it to get at us. They know that she's Amy's sister. Crow (beating his head against the seat): First Darien's Ray's brother, now Amy's Molly's sister! > Serina finally noticed she was dressed differently and they where in some > sort of palace. "Princess, are you ok?" She heard Darien ask. Tom (Serina): It's the Queen to you, bucko. > "Yes I'm fine, but I need to talk to Amy." Serina said as she walked over > to the room that had the symbol of Mercury on it. Soi (Darien): Wait, isn't that one of those fake doors we put in to fool our enemies? Tom: (makes sound of head being chopped off.) Joel (Rena): Oh, yeah. > "Amy may I come in?" Serina asked. "Yes." She heard Amy's voice as she > began to cry. "Amy I'm sorry about what happened and I'm there for you." > Serina said. Crow (Hugh Larie): Oh, Amy, Amy, I shall never forget you! Right, what's for breakfast? > "Thank you Amy said as she hugged Serina. That's when Screams were > heard outside of Amy's room. Tom: Hey, Scream 3 shouldn't be out for another six months! > "Amy stay hear." Serina said as she walked outside to see her mother in a > battle with a young girl, and Darien in a sword fight with a young man. Joel: The newest thing from Kingsworld Entertainment! X-Treme American Gladiators! > "You will lose Serenity!" The younger girl said. "Who are you?" Serenity > asked. "I am Princess Kitten of the Negaverse! Tom: Princess . . . Kitten? All: HA, HA, HAAAAAAAAH! Soi (hysterical): Oh, hold me, somebody! Ha, ha, ha! Princess Kitten! Fan me! To strike terror into your enemies, call me Kitten!!! > And I will have my revenge for you hurting me while we where on the > moon!" Kitten said as she threw a ball of energy at Serenity. Serenity > dodged it barley. Crow (still laughing): Oats and beans and barley grow! > "HELL NO YOU NEGA VERSE BITCH YOU WON'T HURT MY > MOTHER!!! CRESCENT MOON BEAM LIGHT STIKE!" Serina yelled Soi: Whoohoo! Serina's gonna get her some! Now that's Mass Destruction! > as a beam erupted from the crescent moon on her forehead. "I don't think >so. You are no match for me. Nega Shield Reflect." Kitten said Joel (Kitten): We are Borg. You will not resist us. > as the beam reflected and struck Serina full force. "Serina > NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Darien yelled as he ran over to Serina. Tom (Darien): Must run away from guy with sword! > "Princess your mother has called." Malakite said. Crow: Malakite? What, did Beryl just tie him on a string and fly him above the palace during lightning storms? > "Then lets go love." Kitten said as she disappeared into black flame. Joel: Oh, looks like the Negaverse is hosting the Summer of Love this year! > When Serenity looked at everyone she collapsed and everyone fell asleep. Soi: Looks like the entire Moon Kingdom suffers from narcolepsy. > When everyone woke up they where all in separate rooms. Joel: With wide, shiny mirrors and stark, white walls, and some kind of electrical lock thingy beside their door. . . > Everyone went to go check and see if Serina was woke, but she was in a > coma. Darien sat by her bedside talking to her in her native language Tom (Darien): Aye, it's a bonny cereal, but it's NOT oatmeal! > trying to wake her up. For weeks things where like this. The scouts > attended Molly's funeral and said a few words on Serina's behalf. Crow: We'll never know how she got that freaky New York accent after living in Japan for so long. > Serina's condition didn't improve for weeks after that. > After Serina being in the hospital for almost two months the other > scouts and Rena where at Ray's house talking. Soi (Rena): It's a hard, emotional decision to pull the plug, kids. What do you think? Tom (Ray): Tag her and bag her, Doc! > "Well ever since Serina went into her coma almost two months ago the > Negaverse hasn't done anything and that's strange." Mina said. Crow (Mina): Do you realize I haven't been able to wear my short skirt in all that time! I've had no incentive to shave my legs! > "Don't count me out yet." Serina said who was standing in the door > supported by Darien. Everyone looked at Serina happily and they all > began to crowd around her. Joel (Everyone): Did you bring more of those cookies? > Then a black flame appeared in mid air, and Kitten was floating there. Tom (Deep Voice): Life 2. Activated. > "So your all hear and I can dispose of you all." Kitten said. Crow: Not to mention disposing of proper grammar. > Darien and Rena quickly ran in front of Serina to protect her. From > behind Kitten a black energy dragon appeared along with a huge ice > crystal. Soi (Kitten): Check it out, peons! Random Evil Powers! > The dragon went and engulfed Lita electrocuting her to death Joel: Whoops. But it did do wonders for her hairdo. > while the crystal broke into shards and ran straight at Amy piercing her > body so many times that she died. Crow (sarcastically): Ah, gratuitous, ambiguous death! More please, we beg of you! > When Ray and Mina began to shout their transformations they where hit. Tom: Hey, that's a violation of the Magical Girl Transformation Act of 1990! > Ray was burned by a huge black bird of fire and Mina was killed by a > shower of meteors hitting her in the head. Joel: Note to self: Don't bother seeing Deep Impact. We just had it recreated in all its dramatic glory on Mina's blonde head. Soi: Where the hell did a shower of meteors come from? Crow: Maybe they had a truckload of them in the ceiling. > Soon all that was left was Darien, Rena and Serina. Crow: Our heroes. Flute players, bakers extraordinare, and defenders of the universe. > Rena knew that she was going to die next and began to glow bright silver. Soi (Rena): If I'm going, you're coming with me! *MORNING STAR ERUPTION!!!!* > As all her energy was collected she shot a giant bold of energy out at > Kitten. Kitten garbed the energy and threw it back. Tom: She tried it on and, well, it just wasn't her size. > Rena fell to the ground from a hole that was formed in her chest from the > energy. "So the prince and princess are the only ones left. Too Bad." Joel: No Fear. (TM) Tom: Drink Milk. (TM) Soi: Just Do It. (TM) Crow: Bite Me. (TM) > Kitten said as a crystal sword appeared in her hand. soon her and Darien > where caught in a sword fight when she flung a dagger into his chest. > When Darien saw this he fell to the floor dead. Soi (Darien): Oh, damn. I'm dead. *THUD* No, wait . . . I'm still alive. . . Now I'm dead! No, wait . . . > "Oh poor princess now you know how I feel all alone!" Kitten said as she > disappeared from sight. Joel (Kitten): Queen Serenity took *you* on holiday, while Queen Beryl just locked me in a cupboard with only a catnip mouse for company and a cactus plant for a litter box! > Serina watched as everyone she ever loved fall trying to protect her it > was too much. She took the dagger out of Darien's chest. Tom (Serina): No, Darien, you have to let it go! Take your hand off it, you idiot! I need to do my scene! *kick!* Soi (Darien, muffled): Ow! Tom (Serina): There. > "I will be with you all soon." She said as she took the dagger and plunged > it into her chest. Crow: *THUNK!* (Serina): Aw, curse these cross-wired bras! > *I love you all...* Where Serina's last thoughts as she fell down on top of > Darien's bloodied body dead. Joel (Darien): Hey, I'm not *quite* dead! A plague on all your houses! And condos! > -----In the next chapter------- Soi (Jim Carey): Beelzebub gets Darien a coffee! > will the scouts be reborn? Will the Negaverse get what they deserve? Tom: Will this young country girl find love and happiness with her rich Englishman? > Who will protect the world now that the scouts are dead? Crow: I have no doubt there are FanSenshi waiting in the wings. Joel: Just call Voltron: The Defender of the UNIVERSE! > Stay tuned for the next chapter The Death Scouts Chapter 2 the Funereal > of the Scouts/ The kids in black. Soi: If I see *one* black trenchcoat. . . > >~ author's note > well the first chapter is done and I know it's kinda sad and mean but it > wouldn't be right if I didn't do something sad in the first chapter. Joel: Yeah, but you made us cry for all the wrong reasons! > But don't worry Everything will be right again in the next chapter. Crow: We're hoping that means *everything*. Tom: And that includes better coffee and more little sweetener packs! Soi: Forget it. Let's get out of here. (Getting up, Soi leaves the theater, followed by Crow. Joel picks Tom up and carries him out.) *SATELLITE OF LOVE, 2250 HOURS* Joel Robinson let his breath out in relief as he noticed the Satellite was no longer rocking crazily from side to side. "Joel! Joel! Come on over here. We need your help!" He smiled knowingly as he was handed a piece of paper. "Oh, I get it. You guys want me to call the roll for the SOL?" Crow shrugged. "Why not? We never do it at the beginning of this MSTing anyways!" A low rumble echoed throughout the Satellite. Joel winced. "Don't forget about the fourth wall, Crow!" "Oh, yeah. Sorry." Clearing his throat, Joel looked around. "All right. Cambot?" *Text error!* "Magic Voice?" "As always, Joel. . ." "Robot, Crow T.?" "Hear hear!" "Servo, Thomas?" "Uh, I prefer to be called Tom, Joel." "Soi?" "Just visiting!" "Gypsy?" "Mmmpphhh!" Joel paused at that. "Gypsy?" The large robot looked up from the corner she was in. "MMPPHHH!" "What's wrong, girl?" he asked, going over to his creation. As he was examining her, the strobes began to flash. "Soi, get that, would you? Something's wrong with Gypsy." Nodding, Soi tapped the button. *DEEP 13* Dr. Forrester looked up in surprise from his tinkering. "Ah, welcome back, boobies. Not on your last legs yet? Too bad." "We're fine, Dr. Forrester, but we've got a slight problem. Gypsy managed to swallow a bottle of crazy glue!" Dr. F. blinked. "Joel, how did one of your bots manage to swallow a bottle of glue?" "Uhhhh, we don't know. Her lips are sealed!" Forrester was saved from replying to that when a rather bedraggled TV's Frank fell into the laboratory from outside. "Back, Dr. F! The alarm's safe and installed outside, too." "Ah, thank you, Frank. As a reward, take a short holiday!" "Hey, how nice of you, sir." "Did you enjoy it? Good. Now, back to work! Come and push the button, Frank! *BZZZZZZT!* "Then we have to see about replacing your blood with food colouring, your gall bladder with a ham sandwich, your pancreas with a bag of marshmallows . . ." ====================================================== "Bear with me while I speak, and after I have spoken, mock on." Job 21:3, NIV ====================================================== Notes: After six months of doing other stuff, I can say I've returned! And I'm looking forward to the rest of the Death Scouts series. Sailor Destiny was kind enough to grant me posting permission after reading my reviews and my MSTing. She's a wonderful sport, folks, intent on being different. And Mamoru13 has waited a long time for his work to be MSTed. Here you go, finally. And, as a side note, I owe an apology to one "Phantom", who authored the Transformers lemon, "Precious Things." In that MSTing, I referred to her as a "he", when she is . . . well, a she. Who else would dare do a later self-insertion lemon with Optimus Prime? ^-^ But, to set the record straight, Phantom is female. My mistake. Nightbreak MSTings: 1- 10: "Ranger Moon" saga (PR/Sailor Moon crossover) 11: "Ay-yi-yi" (Power Rangers Short) 12-14: "I Will Remember You" (Sailor Moon Self-Insertion) Collaboration with Blazej Szpakowicz. 15: "Sailor Moon: The Ultimate Evil" (Winnie The Pooh/Sailor Moon) 16: "Surprises All Around, Part 1" (Tenchi Muyo/Samantha Jones) 17: "Master-MSTer Triple Feature" (SVAM Veteran MST) 18: "Unseen Signs" (Ratliff does Ranma!) Collaboration with CrowBar 19: "Precious Things" (Transformers Lemon) 20: "Lemonade: A Cool, Refreshing Drink" (Double Lemon) 21: "The Death Scouts, Part 1" (Sailor Moon w/ short, Johnny Bravo) Edits: 1: Hockey Night in Tokyo (Sailor Moon Original) Duke of Dispersion 2: A Destined Return. (Sailor Moon Self-Insert.) Duke of Dispersion 3: Untitled (Ranma/Ah! Megami-sama! Crossover)Duke of Dispersion Non-MST - The Club Anipike Series: http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Rampart/3552/fics.html - The Chaosfic!: Vampire Princess Michiru (Sailor Moon/ Vampire Princess Miyu fusion) http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Rampart/3552/fics.html