Title: Digimon: Digidefenders: Episode 5: The Great Escape/Ringside Seats 
for
Vicaralamon's Battle
Original Author: Phantom 1
MiSTing Author: Jesse Shearer; email: ambasosor_lardo@hotmail.com
Category: Anime
Era: Nonstandard/JMST3K

[Lobby. JESSE stands in front of the snack counter, dressed in a light green
hat, a plad flannel shirt, and tan pants held up by both a belt and a pair 
of
red and green suspenders instead of his usual teeshirt and bluejeans.]

JESSE:[faked rough voice] Well, folks, it's that time again. Episode Five of
that Digimon series I've been showing has arrived. [Looks down and remembers 
the
costume] If you're wondering why I'm dressed different than usual and faking 
the
voice, I heard that Leomon and Jeri were coming by later today, so I thought 
I'd
do a Red Green impression to protect myself from Renamon. That is, if she's
around...

[LEOMON enters, with his "mane" sticking up in several places. Instead of 
*his*
normal look, he's wearing a dark green pullover sweater over a white shirt 
with
a tie tucked into the sweater; and some black slacks]

LEOMON: When does the show start?
JESSE:[returns to normal voice] Soon as Jeri shows up. That's a... that's a 
new
look for you, isn't it, Leomon?
LEOMON: I was going to say the same to you. I hear Rika and Renamon are here
today, so I thought I'd try a disguise to help keep Renamon from beating you 
up
again.
JESSE: Looks like we watch the same television shows. You decided on Dalton
Humphries and I went more for the Red Green look.
LEOMON: I guess so.
JESSE: So, where *is* Jeri, anyway?
LEOMON: She's with Rika and Renamon. They were all chatting with some guys 
on
the local pro basketball team.
JESSE: Jeri, I'd believe, but when it comes to Rika and Renamon acting like
that, I'll believe it when I see it.

[JERI, RIKA and RENAMON pass in front of the lobby window with three tall 
men in
basketball uniforms.]

LEOMON: Told you so.
JESSE: Well then... Should we wait for them?
LEOMON: Nah. They said they'd be going to dinner with their new friends.
JESSE: Sounds good. Today's feature is Episode Five of the Digimon series 
I've
been showing lately. I guess there are details at the start of the film.

[The double doors open and reveal JESSE in the second seat in the row and 
LEOMON
at the end. They are as easily identified by either their hat or hair
respectively.]

>Digimon: Digidefenders
>
>Episode 5: The Great Escape/Ring-Side Seats for Vikaralamon's battle.

LEOMON: Yeah, I heard about that. Guilmon sure likes to talk sometimes.
JESSE: I wouldn't be supprised.

>
>At the Digidefender Headquarters, the entire control room was in an uproar!
Strange >blue portals started opening up all over the world.

JESSE:[Babylon 5's Sinclair] Oh my god! It's a trap! Michell!
LEOMON: Huh?
JESSE: The Earth/Minbari War.
LEOMON: Could be worse, though.
JESSE: How so?
LEOMON: This could be a Pokemon/Digimon crossover.
JESSE Good point.

>
>"Triangulate the source of the energy wave," the Commander ordered.

JESSE: What the...? Jumpgates enough to fill the sky and they're tracking 
energy
waves?

>
>"Source triangulated. Central Shinjuku. The Sakiyuchi Building."
>
>The Commander cursed. "That stupid son of a... He has gone too far this 
>time.

LEOMON: *Who* has gone too far?
JESSE: *He* has.

>Alert >Chi and Shinji immediately!"
>
>"Yes, ma'am."
>
>The Commander sat down in her command chair. {Yamaki, you fool,} she 
>thought. {Don't you see that by trying to rectify the situation, you're 
>only making it
worse. >Stubborn arrogant...}
>
>"Commander." It was Chi on the view screen. She was contacting from 
>Beijing. "What is wrong?"
>
>"I think there are going to be a couple of crossovers in Japan. Shinji will
need your >help."

JESSE:[Commander] Oh yes, and the Minbari Invasion Fleet has reached Earth.
We're all going to die. But that's for someone else to wory about.

>
>Shinji's face came on a view screen next to Chi's. "Commander, something 
>screwy
is >happening over here."
>
>"We're aware of that, Shinji.

JESSE:[Shinji] Wait... You're aware that the Sci-Fi Channel just made three 
good
TV movies in a row?
LEOMON: They did?
JESSE: Don't I wish. But it would count as screwy if it actually happened.

>Leave your computer on. Chi will be there to asssist you."
>
>"Uh... sure." Their faces disappeared.
>
>The Commander absentmindedly rubbed the back of her neck. This was getting 
>out
of >hand. What would it take to convince him that what he's doing is harming
Earth more >than helping it?

LEOMON: Shinji or Yamaki?

>
>"Ma'am," a technician called. It was the same one who asked if she was 
>going to
take >care of Frigimon when he crossovered. "Crossover detected in Japan.
Whatever it is, >it's huge."
>
>{Blast. I don't think that the Digidefenders are ready for such big a 
>task.}
>
>
>
>Shinji paced up and down his room. He never thought he hear himself think 
>these words. He was waiting for a girl. Sure, she was coming out of a 
>computer from
one >continent over, but still... How would his mother react if he saw him 
with
an eight year >old girl in his room?

JESSE: Probably not as badly as mine would.
LEOMON: True, but then, you're at least ten years older than he is.

>
>His computer screen suddenly began glowing. Chi fell out and onto the 
>ground.

JESSE:[sarcastic] No, she fell out and landed on the ceiling.

>
>"You okay?" Shinji asked as he helped her up.
>
>"Yeah, I'm fine. I just wish there was a better way to travel."
>
>"You could always try flying."

LEOMON:[Chi] I *did*.

>
>"Not funny."
>
>There was a knock on Shinji's door. "Shinji? Is everything all right? I 
>thought
I heard >some sort of crashing noise."

JESSE:[Shinji] Just booting up Windows XP, mom! Nothing to worry about!

>
>Shinji paniced. "Oh God, it's my Mom. If she sees you here, she's going to 
>have Gatomon! What to do, what to do, what to do... quick, into the 
>closet!" Shinji
pushed >her inside and shut the door just as his mother came in.

JESSE: For her sake, I hope it's bigger than *my* closet.

>
>"Shinji, are you all right?"
>
>"J... Just f... fine, Mom. Nothing wrong."

LEOMON: You know, I think he's a bit nervous.

>
>His mother gave him a skeptic look. "Are you sure? You're hiding something, 
>I
can >tell."
>
>"Me? No, no, no, no, nothing, I'm hiding nothing."

JESSE: Now, is that any way to refer to one of your friends?

>
>"Is that so?" Shinji's mother eyed the closet. She forced her way past him 
>and up to the closet. Shinji covered his face with his hands and braced for
the
>onslaught.
>

JESSE: He's an ostrich.

>Shinji's mother threw open the closet door.

LEOMON: As if she knew what were in store.

>
>The only things she saw were old clothes and school books piled on the 
>ground.

JESSE: Kinda like mine.

>
>It was a good thing Shinji's mother didn't look at the door, Chi was 
>hanging
off a hook >on it.
>
>"Sorry, Shinji, I thought you were hiding one of those play magazines of
Hishimama."

LEOMON: What's wrong with theater magazines?
JESSE: I think that's aimed more at Playboy magazine.
LEOMON: I don't think I've ever heard of that one.
JESSE: Be glad. You don't want to know.

>
>Shinji took a deep breath, the first one in over five minutes. His Mom 
>didn't
see Chi. >He couldn't believe his luck. He was spared the full wraith.

JESSE: The *wraith*? He's living with an evil spirit?
LEOMON: I'd hate to live with even *part* of one of those.
JESSE: Then again, it *does* sometimes help to have an evil spirit or two
around. Just for emergencies, of course

>
>Shinji's mother closed the door behind her. She thought she heard a thump, 
>like something falling, but dismissed it as clothes or school books.
>
>"Don't worry, Mom, I'm not hiding anything legal."

LEOMON: Poor choice of words there.
JESSE: Hey, Leomon. "Where's Waldo?" time. I see a few naughty magazines 
under
his desk.
LEOMON: I see an illegal immigrant hiding behind the bed.
JESSE: And there goes an Enron executive out the window.
LEOMON: Plus it looks like he's got some sort of science equipment lined up
between the bed and the dresser.

>
>"All right. I'll see you later." Shinji's mother turned and left the room.
>
>Shinji quickly shut his door again and opened the closet door. Chi was 
>lying on
the >ground.
>
>"Sorry about that," he said as he let her out.
>
>"Don't worry about it, most excitement I had in weeks."
>
>"Oh, Shinji," his mother called from outside the room. Again, they 
>panicked.
Shinji >threw Chi on the bed and covered her with blankets.

JESSE: I know panic can drive a person to do some pretty silly things, but 
isn't
a bit soon to be killing her?

>With instructions to stay still, he >dove for his computer chair just as 
>his
mother came in.
>
>"I forgot why I came in here in the first place. Don't go outside today. 
>The government's declared a state of emergency, something about a large pig
downtown."
>

JESSE:[Shinji] Officer Smith's finally gonna explode, huh?
LEOMON:[Shinji's mom] Well, the doctors *did* warn him to go on a diet.

>"Really?" Shinji asked, actually concerned.
>
>"Yeah, the government asks everybody to stay in doors until the military 
>has a
chance to >engage the... whatever is out there."

LEOMON: Can't blame `em for trying, I guess.
JESSE: Hardly. But who's going to stay in a door all night?

>
>"Sure, Mom, no problem." And his Mom left again. Shinji took another deep
breath. >Chi lifted herself out of the covers.
>
>"This is insane," she commented.
>
>"Yeah, we've been spending more time avoiding my Mother than engaging the 
>Digimon."

JESSE:[to Shinji] Well, yes. You've spent the whole *TWO MINUTES* you've 
been
together avoiding your mom.

>
>"Shinji." Speak of the devil. Chi covered herself again as Shinji's mother 
>came
in. >"Dinner'll be late tonight, just thought I warn you."
>
>"Right."

JESSE:[Shinji] By the way, what's for dinner, Mom?
LEOMON:[Shinji's mom] Sweet and sour pork.

>
>Shinji's mother eyed the bed. "And how many times must I tell you to make 
>your
bed."
>
>"Sorry."
>
>And she left again, this time for good.

JESSE: Finally.

>
>"How are we going to get out now?" Chi asked.

LEOMON: Walking?

>
>"I've been thinking about that. Follow me." Shinji and Chi snuck out of his
room and >down the hall to his parents' room. Adjacent to the bedroom was a
balcony. Shinji >opened the door. He pointed downward to the balcony below 
them.
>
>"The lady downstairs is always out. We'll just drop down to that balcony 
>and go
out the >door."
>
>"Are you insane, Shinji? I can't jump that far."

JESSE:[Shinji/"The Lone Gunmen"'s Langley] I'm insane in the brain, baby!

>
>"Don't worry. Just hang off the ledge and jump down. Easy as falling off a
log."
>
>"Or a balcony," Chi said. "All right, all right." Chi climbed over the
banister. She >lowered herself until her feet were dangling from the 
balcony.
Taking a few swings, >she leaped onto the balcony, falling on her butt.
>
>"You okay?" Shinji called from above.
>
>"Yeah.

JESSE:[Chi] Just broke both my legs!

>Hurry." Shinji followed Chi's movements. Unfortunately, he missed it. If 
>Chi hadn't caught his arm in time, he would've been seriously hurt.
>
>When Chi hauled him onto the balcony, Shinji smiled sheepishly.

LEOMON: Either Chi's buffer than she looks or Shinji's really light.

>"Well, it seem to >work in practice runs. Come on, we might be the only 
>ones
with enough power to stop >him."

LEOMON:[sarcastic] Right. Two kids whose Digimon are cards most of the time 
are
going to be able to beat the toughest Deva this far in the series.

>
>Shinji and Chi left the apartment and the overall building.
>
>"My D-4 is already picking out several Digimon signatures," Chi said. 
>"Follow
me." >Although Shinji could've just used his own D-4, he followed the 
Chinese
girl through >town.

JESSE: Boy, "cute couples" all over in this series.

>
>They were coming close to the source. They could tell because of the 
>shaking
going on.

LEOMON:[singing] There's a whole lotta shakin' goin' on...

>
>As they came to the end of a street, the Digimon walked by. He was huge. A 
>huge
pig.
>
>Chi froze. "Shinji... what... what is he?"

LEOMON: What? She doesn't know a huge pig when she sees one?
JESSE: Sounds like Chi's brain must run some equivalent of Windows 95 on it.

>
>"Don't know, let me check." Shinji stared at his D-4. That's weird, I'm 
>getting
nothing." >Shinji tried pressing some buttons but still nothing. Finally 
there
was a beeping sound.

JESSE: A few seconds later, Shinji realized that he'd set his Digivice to
"self-destruct mode."

>
>------------------Digimon--------------------------------------Database-----------------------
>
>Name: Vikaralamon
>Level: Ultimate
>Type: Deva
>Attribute: Vaccine
>Attack: Boar Bomb, Fusion Ball
>
>Shinji: Got something, finally. Vikaralamon. He an ultimate level Digimon. 
>I
don't know what makes him so horrible, his attacks or his smell.
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>"It's so big," Chi gasped.

JESSE: Uh... No comment
LEOMON:[whistles for a few seconds]

>"Shinji, I don't think we can handle an ultimate."
>
>"I think you're right, let's tell the Commander."
>
>Shinji spoke into his D-4. "Hello? Commander? We have a problem!"
>
>"What is it?" Came the voice back.
>
>"It's Vikaralamon. He's gigantic and he's tearing up buildings like 
>nothing. We
won't be >able to handle this."
>

JESSE:[Shinji] Vikaralamon's going like stink.
LEOMON: Vikaralamon *is* stink.

>"All right, hang on. I'll alert the rest of the Digidefenders."
>
>"Thanks, Commander."
>
>"Um... Shinji, look." Three other creatures were facing down with 
>Vikaralamon.
One >was a gold-plated Digimon that looked like the cross between a rabbit 
and a
dog.

JESSE: Rapidmon is *gold*? He sure looked *green* to me.
LEOMON: Nope, he's gold.
JESSE: It's moments like this that make me think I might actually have 
inherited
my grandfather's colorblindness.

>Another was what appeared to be a fox in magician's robes. The third was a
large >robotic-looking dinosaur with huge arm blades.
>
>"Chi, use the D-4 to identify them."
>

JESSE:[Chi] Make me!

>"Okay."
>
>------------------Digimon--------------------------------------Database-----------------------
>
>Name: Rapidmon
>Level: Ultimate/Armored
>Type: Cyborg Digimon
>Attribute: Vaccine
>Attack: Tri-Beam, Rapid Fire, Miracle Missile
>
>Shinji: Let's see, the yellow-plated one is Rapidmon. But I'm not sure if 
>this
is the >armored version or the ultimate version.

JESSE: Well, don't look at me...

>
>
>
>Name: Taomon
>Level: Ultimate
>Type: Demon Man Digimon
>Attribute: Data
>Attack: Talisman of Light, Thousand Spells, Talisman Spell, Talisman Star
>
>Chi: Taomon, another ultimate-level Digimon. She has magical powers.

LEOMON: Right. Spells powerfull enough to take out most Digimon in one hit, 
and
all you can say about Taomon is "She's magical"?
JESSE: I believe that was "She has magical powers."
LEOMON: Same difference.

>
>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>Shinji growled frusteratedly. "I can't get anything on Robo-saur. It's like 
>he
doesn't >even exist."

JESSE: Well, that's because up untill sometime earlier this month, he 
didn't.

>
>"He kind of looks like Metal Greymon," Chi commented.
>
>Shinji sighed. "I wish it was him. Well, I know one thing. He certainly 
>doesn't
like >Vikaralamon." It was true. The look the red creature was giving was 
enough
to scare >anybody. Anybody but Vikaralamon.
>
>Suddenly Shinji's D-4 started beeping. He looked at it and words came onto 
>the
screen.
>
>DOWNLOADING DATA FROM REMOTE SOURCE

JESSE: Speaking of, you suppose the ladies are back?
LEOMON: Probably. Let's go get them.
[both exit theater.]

[Lobby. JESSE and LEOMON find JERI, RIKA, and RENAMON huddled by the snack
counter. RIKA and RENAMON have their backs to the theater doors. JERI 
notices,
but JESSE signals for her to keep quiet before the others realize, then 
removes
his glasses before approaching the rear of the counter with LEOMON close 
behind]

JESSE:[faked rough voice] Uh, can I help you ladies with something?
RIKA:[startled] Oh, sorry, sir. We were just... Jesse?
JESSE:[faked voice] Uh, no, I'm Red Green.
RENAMON: Are you sure? You look an awful lot like Jesse Shearer.
JESSE:[other voice] No, I'm Red Green. [taps LEOMON] Tell `em who we are,
Dalton.
LEOMON:[slight Canadian accent] I'm Dalton Humphries and this is my friend 
Red
Green.
JERI:[begins giggling]
RENAMON:[notices JESSE's glasses in his shirt pocket] Is that so, Mr. Green?
I've seen a few episodes of your show. [takes the glasses from their hiding
place] You've never needed these before.
LEOMON:[normal] I think we've been caught.
JESSE:[normal] I think you're right. But it was fun to at least try it, eh? 
[to
RENAMON] Now, if I could please have my glasses back, I'd gladly welcome you 
to
the movie with us.
RIKA: And if you don't get `em back?
JESSE: You can still come to see the movie, but I won't be quite as glad 
about
it.
JERI: How come?
JESSE: Let's just say that right now, none of you have any facial features, 
and
you're right in front of me. Distance doesn't improve the situation any, 
either.
RENAMON: In that case, I'll hold onto these for awhile. [sticks JESSE's 
glasses
in her "glove"]
LEOMON: Now what?
JESSE: Oh, I'll just have to think of some way to get them back.
RIKA: Now, let's go watch the rest of the movie.

[all enter theater]

[JESSE is near the center of the row. JERI is to his right, then RIKA, 
RENAMON
and LEOMON sitting in the aisle seat.]

>
>"'Downloading data from remote source,'" Shinji repeated. "What does that 
>mean.
Is >the D-4 receiving information from another place. Where?"

RIKA: Well, he's grasped some of the obvious.
JESSE: Yeah. I would think those things would be rather short range, to be
honest.

>
>------------------Digimon--------------------------------------Database-----------------------
>
>Name: War Growlmon
>Level: Ultimate
>Type: Cyborg Digimon
>Attribute: Virus
>Attack: Atomic Blaster, Radiation Blade Attack

JESSE:["Attack From Mars" voice] We must build an Atomic Blaster!

>
>Shinji: Finally found something. He's called War Growlmon. He's a Dinosaur
covered >in metallic armor. His attacks, atomic blaster and radiation blade,
give him the ultimate >power.
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>"I never heard of War Growlmon," Chi said.
>
>"Neither have I. But he is a Digimon. At least I think he is. He doesn't 
>look
like any >Digimon I've ever seen..."

RENAMON: You got information on him from a Digivice and you're not sure if 
he's
a Digimon?

>
>"Shinji, wait a minute. A data-class, virus-class, and vaccine-class 
>Digimon.
One of >each attribute. Could that mean something?"

JESSE: Vikaralamon works for I. M. Satan Co.?
RIKA: Hey now...

>
>"Not sure, but Vikaralamon must be bad if all three are standing against 
>him."
>
>"But Vikaralamon's a vaccine-class. Aren't vaccine class suppose to be the 
>good
guys?"

JESSE:[dumb sounding] Dah...
JERI: That would make the most sense.

>
>"Still not sure, but Vikaralamon is definitely bad news for us humans."

LEOMON: Good grasp of the obvious, I'd say.

>
>Shinji and Chi ducked into an alleyway. They watched as the four Ultimate
Digimon >went at it. There were three Ultimates against one but Vikaralamon
seemed to have the >upper hand. Chi tried to peek outside to see if there 
was
anybody else in the viscinity >but an explosion kept forcing her back.

RIKA: That's one persistant explosion.

>
>"What do we do, Shinji? We can't get out without getting caught up in the
battle."
>
>"Nothing we can do except sit it out."
>
>Suddenly Vikaralamon started flickering, partially dissolving.

JESSE: Oh, OK. That's *supposed* to be happening. Thought my vision was 
getting
worse for a minute.

>
>"They did it!" Shinji cried. "They're beating him."
>
>"Wait a minute," Chi said. "The other three are dissolving too. Whatever it 
>is
that's >making Vikaralamon disappear, it's going both ways."

JESSE: You mean they're not already gone?
RENAMON: Nope, all three of us are still there. And I'm even using Talisman
Spell, just like before.
JERI: You really can't see too well without your glasses, can you, Jesse?

>
>"Chi, you're D-4." Chi looked down. The D-4 was emitting electricity, like 
>it
was >short-circuiting. Suddenly it started to glow. Upon instinct, Chi held 
out
hers. The >D-4s began producing an energy beam. The energy beams covered War
Growlmon, >who was helplessly pinned underneath one of Vikaralamon's energy
sphere, in what >appeared to be some type of static electricity barrier, a
forcefield.

JERI: Can *our* Digivices do that?
LEOMON: I'm not sure.

>Shinji's did likewise.
>
>"It's like our D-4s are helping War Growlmon, Rapidmon, and Taomon," Chi 
>said.
It's >preventing them from being dissolved the same way Vikaralamon is."
>
>
>
>At Headquarters, the Commander stepped up to a control panel.
>
>"Getting response from the D-4s," a technician called out. "They're 
>offering
reserve >power to the Digimon that are attacking Vikaralamon."
>
>"Good," the Commander replied. She was hoping the D-4s would do something 
>like this.
>
>
>
>Suddenly a tremendous earthquake began erupting. A loud screach could be 
>heard,
like >a monkey's scream. The D-4s blinked out. Chi and Shinji began covering
their ears in >pain. Shinji looked around and discovered a dumpster.
>

JESSE: Ah. OK. So that's why he's acting like Shatner.

>"Please be empty, please be empty." To his luck, it is. "Come on, Chi, 
>inside."
>
>"But it's a dumpster!"

JESSE: Funny, it doesn't *look* all that much like a toilet.
RIKA: She said *dumpster,* you fool!

>
>"Yes, you're very smart, now come on." Shinji pushed her into the dumpster 
>then climbed in himself.
>
>
>
>They must've blacked out because the next thing Shinji noticed, he was 
>asleep in the dumpster.

LEOMON: The lousy bum.

>
>"Chi, wake up," he said gently shaking her awake.
>
>"Huh... wha... Shinji? What happened?"

RENAMON: Nothing, we hope.

>
>"That screach must've knocked us out."

RIKA: And once again we see Shinji's wonderful grasp of the obvious.

>Shinji and Chi climbed out of the dumpster and >into the street. The entire
neighborhood was in chaos. Buildings were wrecked. There >were potholes the 
size
of tanks and shattered glass everywhere. The Digimon were >nowhere to be 
seen.

JESSE: So that's not just my vision being bad...

>
>"Wow, it's like World War Eleven here," Chi commented. "Where are 
>Vikaralamon and the others?"
>
>"Maybe they... were deleted," Shinji deduced.
>
>"I hope so," Chi said. "If those four kept on battling the way they were, 
>the
entire city >would've been demolished." Shinji nodded.

JERI: It looks like it halready has been.

>
>Suddenly a strange energy cought their eyes. They turned just in time to 
>see a
shape of >1s and 0s. It looked like a huge cactus wearing a poncho and a
sombrero.
>
>------------------Digimon--------------------------------------Database-----------------------
>
>Name: Ponchomon
>Level: Armored
>Type: Ghost Digimon
>Attribute: Virus
>Attack: Tequila Knuckle

JESSE:[singing] He's a one-eyed, four-legged, big-mouthed purple people 
eater...
LEOMON: There's one you don't hear often.

>
>Ponchomon: Hu-hu-hu-hu, I'm Ponchomon, I go by my own beat and anybody who 
>doesn't like it will get a beat... from my Tequila Knuckle. Hu-hu-hu-hu.
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>"Tequila Knuckle!" Ponchomon's fist glowed with fire and he broke down a
building.
>
>"I hope there was nobody in there," Chi said.

JESSE:[Checkov, from partally collapsed building] My God! Was anyone in 
here?
LEOMON:[Scotty, from partailly collpsed building] Aye...

>
>"Come on, let's go to work."
>
>"Right. Lopmon, digimerge!"

JESSE: Hey, you know, I think Lopmon's in you guys' show, too...
JERI: She is...?!?
JESSE: I think so, but I'm not sure.

>
>"Elecmon, digimerge!"

JESSE:[hums MegaMan stage-select music]

>The two Digimon that were animated looked like a small brown >dog and a 
>small
red rabbit.

JESSE: Red? I thought Lopmon was *pink*...
LEOMON: Mabey it's that colorblindness thing again...
JERI: You're colorblind?
JESSE: Not technically, at least not so far as I know.

>
>------------------Digimon--------------------------------------Database-----------------------
>
>Name: Elecmon
>Level: Rookie
>Type: Mammal Digimon

JESSE: Now if ever there were a Digimon that should be a robot...

>Attribute: Data
>Attack: Super Thunder Strike, Sparkling Thunder, Body Attack
>
>Shinji: Elecmon may be small, but his thunder powers will shock you...
literally.
>

RENAMON: Not a word, Jesse.

>
>
>Name: Lopmon
>Level: Rookie
>Type: Beast Digimon
>Attribute: Data
>Attack: Blazing Ice, Tiny Twister
>
>Chi: Lopmon may look cuddly, but he has the power of ice. His Blacing Ice

JESSE: *Blacing* Ice? Is my hearing going now, too?

>will not >only beat you back, but freeze you too.
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>"All right, guys, go get him," Shinji instructed. Lopmon spread his long 
>ears
and took to >the air, gliding on currents of wind. Elecmon galloped up to
Ponchomon.
>
>"Hu-hu-hu-hu," Ponchomon laughed. "If you guys want to play, you got it.
Tequila >Knuckle!" Ponchomon's hand became energized and he swung it at 
them.
>
>Lopmon banked and Elecmon dodged.

LEOMON: Tequilla... Isn't that an alcoholic beverage?
JESSE: Last time I checked.

>
>"Hey Elecmon, you want first crack at him?" Lopmon asked.
>
>"I thought you would never ask. Super Thunder Strike!" Elecmon emitted
lightning >from his tail.

JESSE: Oh, oh, oh! That has got to hurt!
RENAMON: Thanks for the image, Jesse.
JESSE: Well, it's not as bad as what I could have said...
JERI: What was that?
JESSE:[straining] Piiiii.... kaaaa... chuuuuuu!!!
RIKA: Could you please smack him, Jeri?
JERI:[pounds a fist into JESSE's shoulder]

>Ponchomon absorbed it with a laugh.

RIKA: Since when did Ponchomon have refractive armor?

>
>"Looks like it's your turn," Elecmon said to Lopmon.
>
>"Blazing Ice!" Lopmon shot a blue beam at Ponchomon. Ponchomon absorbed it 
>with a "huff."
>
>"Nothing they do seems to affect him," Shinji gasped.

RENAMON:[sarcastic] My, isn't he the intelligent one?

>
>"We have to keep trying," Elecmon said.
>
>"Elecmon's right, we can't just let him trash us," Lopmon agreed.

JESSE: Well, at least she's got a positive attitude about this.

>The two sprang back >into action again.
>
>"Blazing Ice!"
>
>"Super Thunder Strike!" The two attacks combined and slammed Ponchomon 
>back. He quickly grabbed Elecmon. "Sparkling Thunder!" Elecmon's body 
>produced a
strong >source of light that temporarily blinded Ponchomon.

RIKA: And the audience.

>Ponchomon threw Elecmon away >and he landed in Shinji's arms.
>
>"Sorry... Shinji... I... failed." Elecmon grunted before turning back into 
>a card.
>
>"Elecmon..." Shinji turned towards Chi with a serious look on his face. 
>"Chi,
it's all up >to you now. Give it all you got."
>
>Chi's innocent face reflected the determination in Shinji's own. "You got 
>it.
Lopmon, >fall back a little." Lopmon withdrew until there was about twenty 
feet
separating the >two.
>
>"Lopmon, digivolve!"

JESSE: Guess who's gonna win...

>
>DIGIVOLUTION
>
>"Lopmon, digivolve to... Endigomon!" Endigomon was a large beast that 
>walked on
his hind legs. His head sported a strange white crown with three spikes in 
it.
His face was circular at the front and he had two long green ears. His fur 
was
red and black.
>
>------------------Digimon--------------------------------------Database-----------------------
>
>Name: Endigomon
>Level: Champion
>Type: Beast Man Digimon
>Attribute: Virus
>Attack: Koko Crusher, Howling Destroyer
>
>Chi: You're in for it now, when it comes to brute strength, nobody can 
>match Endigomon. His body contains a fierce weapon called the koko crusher

JESSE: Which crushes things into Coacoa Pebbles.

>and his voice >produces a scream that would make even ultimate-level 
>Digimon
coward in fear.
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>"Hu-hu-hu-hu," Ponchomon laughed.
>
>"I'm getting sick of that laugh," Chi said. "Endigomon, do it!" Endigomon 
>moved forward. Ponchomon moved forward too.

JESSE:[singing] Go forward; move ahead...
LEOMON: Keep that up and *I'll* whip you.

>
>"Tequila Knuckle!" With a loud roar, Endigomon fired his own punch. The two 
>punches collided producing a shockwave. Ponchomon tried to punch with the 
>other arm but Endigomon stopped it with his other hand.
>
>"Beta Slugger!" Everybody turned around. Behind Ponchomon was Rick, 
>Nikolai,
and >Jorge along with Betamon, Gizamon, and Gotsumon.
>
>"Endigomon, we distracted him, attack now!" Betamon called.
>
>"Endigomon jumped back. His shoulders opened up to reveal several missile
launchers.
>
>"Koko Crusher!" The missiles fired.

JESSE: Missiles? What the...? What was the *punch*, then?
LEOMON: I don't know.

>One by one, the missiles hit and Ponchomon >dissolved.
>
>Endigomon dedigivolved to Lopmon and returned to his card state. The other
Digimon >did likewise.
>

RENAMON: What was the point of the other three even being there, then?

>"Come on, let's go back to Headquarters," Rick said. "We have a lot to talk
about."

RIKA: I'd say.
JESE: Say, Renamon. How's about you just give me my glasses back.
RENAMON: You gotta do something to get them back.
JESSE: How does a pinball match sound?
RENAMON: You're on!
[Exit theater]

[Scene is black and white; setting is an arcade, near a row of pinball 
machines.
JESSE's lines are all a voiceover for the action.]
JESSE:[voiceover] Well, I'd come up with a way to get my glasses back from
Renamon, so we all went down to the arcade here in the mall, the Starlight
Rainbow. Thought it would be interesting to challenge her to a round of 
pinball,
highest score wins, with a free game being an instant victory. Out of 
fairnes, I
decided to let Renamon go first.

[RENAMON approaches an old-looking pinball table. JESSE holds her back, 
signals
no with a hand sign and points to the one next to it.]

JESSE:[voiceover continued] Not that one, Renamon. It gets goofed up way too
easy. Plus, I sorta know how to cheat on this other one here.

[RENAMON puts a coin in the machine and starts playing. The others can be 
almost
be heard durring the action]

JESSE:[voiceover continued] Wow! Look at her go! I hadn't expected her to be
this good. Seven hundred fifty thousand and two targets on the first ball. 
This
may be more difficult than I thought... Really racking the points up there. 
The
second ball doubled the score and brought in three more targets and one of 
the
bonuses.

[The game obviously starts going downhill for RENAMON. All but JESSE sound
dissapointed]

JESSE:[voiceover continued] Things started to look up towards the end, but 
I've
still never broken the two-million point barrier.

[RENAMON's game ends and she gets several pats on the back; JESSE steps up 
and
begins *his* turn]

JESSE:[voiceover continued] Can't really see what I'm doing here... My first
ball was only half a million points and one target. This is not going well. 
I
may have to finish the movie without really being able to see it. My second 
ball
got me up to about nine hundred thousand, two more targets and a bonus.

[The pinball machine starts acting strangely and JESSE's third ball is lost]

JESSE:[voiceover continued] Well, there went my third ball. Looks like I've 
lost
this one.

[The pinball game shakes violently as a Datalink Port opens and spits out 
Mari
LeChon from the *Digidefenders* series.]

JESSE:[voiceover continued] OK, well, that was interesting. Don't really 
know
what to call this. [JESSE and RIKA help MARI up.] At least our new friend 
says
she's alright. But it looks like I'm still visually impaired. [Shot shows 
the
pinball game doing the score match for a free game, where the last two 
digits of
the score wind up matching the randomly drawn numbers.] Mabey not! Looks 
like I
won a free game lottery style! [Holds hand out towards RENAMON] Turn `em 
over,
my friend!

[Seating arrangement is almost the same as before, with MARI sitting to the 
left
of JESSE.]

>

MARI: And I thought *Africa* was a dump...
JESSE: Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

>
>
>Soon, all the Digidefenders gathered at Headquarters. On the video table 
>were
pictures >of Taomon's, Rapidmon's, and Vikaralamon's cards. There was also a
large square with >a question mark representing War Growlmon.

JESSE: He's the Riddler.

>
>"You were right to be suspicious, Shinji," the Commander said. "The barrier 
>may
be >weak, but it's not weak enough to let so many powerful Digimon in at 
once.
And since >Vikaralamon only appeared today, it is safe to assume that the 
other
three were already >here."

RIKA: Nice piece of logic, Commander.

>
>"Then why didn't you guys detect them?" Jorge asked.
>
>"Probably because our scanners had only been able to detect Digimon who 
>cross
over. >These Digimon must've already been here."

LEOMON: When did these people start up, anyway?

>
>"To state Barrio Boy's question," Mari said. "Why didn't you guys detect 
>them?"
>
>"That... I'm not sure of," the Commander admitted.

JESSE: So she answers the question for Jorge but turns around and *doesn't*
answer it for Mari?
MARI: That part made no sense whatsoever.

>
>"Commander?" One of the technicians came up and whispered something in her 
>ear. The Commander nodded, turned around and began programming one of the 
>terminals.
>
>"Hey guys, I had a really freaky thought," Nikolai started.

RIKA: Sci Fi Channel Original Productions are good?
RENAMON: That *would* be a freaky thought...

>
>"No surprise there," Mari said rolling her eyes. Nikolai shot her an evil
glance.
>
>"Seriously, though, I had an idea. What if there are people just like us."

JESSE: Other humans? Sure. The whole planet's full of `em.

>
>"What do you mean?" Eli asked. "You mean more people with the ability to 
>call
forth >Digimon?"

MARI:[sarcastic] No. Other people who live solely on hamburgers. Of course 
he
means other Digidefenders, you fool!

>
>"Yes, more Digidefenders. What if those three Digimon belonged to some 
>other people."
>
>"That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard," Mari snapped.

JESSE: Let me get my tape recorder...
MARI:[slaps JESSE hard enough to turn his head away]
JESSE:[groans] That's gonna leave a bruise.

>"We're the >Digidefenders, not some stupid idiots who live in Tokyo.

RIKA:[stands up] Why you...!
RENAMON:[holds RIKA back] Not in the theater, Rika!

>I mean if there were more of >us, which I so highly doubt, I doubt they'd 
>be
powerful enough to allow their Digimon >to digivolve all the way to 
ultimate. I
mean if we can't, then it's most likely those >pathetic screwballs can't 
either.

RIKA: I am *not* a pathetic screwball!
MARI: You are so!
RIKA: Am *not*!
MARI: Are too!
JESSE: Knock that off!

>And besides, the Commander would've told us about >them. Right, Commander?"
Mari gazed at the Commander with a dark look. The >Commander continued her
programming.
>
>"You are the only ones that I know of," she said simply.
>
>"There, see, point proven. Those Digimon are probably just fight-lovers who
crossed >over with Vikaralamon. Discussion closed."

JESSE: Pretty much the whole WWF, right there.

>
>But Shinji wasn't so sure. The Commander was right, allowing four
Ultimate-level >Digimon to cross over was just too impossible, even for this
business. He turned >towards the table with the images of the four cards on 
it.
>
>{I don't care what Frenchie thinks,} Shinji thought.

LEOMON: If he's smart, he won't actually say that.
MARI: Now there's a Digimon who knows what he's talking about.

>{Those Digimon didn't cross over, >they were called forth to battle
Vikaralamon and save the city. But the question is, who >called them forth? 
And
why?}
>
>
>
>Yamaki was a defeated man. The Juggernaut was destroyed, so was Hugoth.

JESSE: Hugoth? What?
JERI: I've never heard of it.

>And >everybody deserted him, even Riley. Basically, Hypnos was out of
business, for good. >And it was all those Tamers' fault.

JESSE:[Yamaki] I'm an idiot, so *my* mistakes are all *your* fault. [normal] 
How
American of him.
MARI: You'd know.

>
>{No,} Yamaki thought. {It wasn't, it was that giant Digimon's fault. And 
>what
about >that Digimon whose voice seem to appear out of nowhere. It probably 
had a
hand in all >this too.}

RENAMON: He may have half an ounce of brains after all.

>
>A shadow crossed Yamaki's line of sight. He looked up as the Commander 
>stepped
out >from the darkness.
>
>"You!" Yamaki gasped.
>
>"Yes, me."

JESSE:[Babylon 5's Londo/Yamaki] My old friend G'Kar. I should have known 
you'd
show up sooner or later.

>
>Yamaki took a breath and let out a small chuckle. "So, come to rub my 
>failures
in my >face, have you?"
>
>"You know me, Yamaki. I'm not like that."
>
>"You're right, you're not."
>
>"So tell me, are there..."
>
>Yamaki already knew what she was going to ask. "Yes, there are. I saw them 
>for myself."

RIKA: He saw all three good Sci Fi Channel Original Productions?
MARI: What were they?
JESSE: Farscape. Lexx, mabey. I'm not sure what the third would be.

>
>"I figured as much. I'm just sorry it had to come to this," the Commander 
>said.
>
>"Me too."
>
>"So what are you going to do?"
>
>"I'm not sure."
>
>The Commander took off her sun glasses and stared at him. "Yamaki, what do 
>you want to do more? Destroy Digimon or save humanity?"
>
>"That shouldn't even be a question, I want to save humanity."
>
>"Then maybe you should. The time is coming, Yamaki. The gray line is 
>becoming black and white. You must be on one side or the other, you can't 
>have it both
ways."
>
>"I know. So tell me, which side are you on?"
>
>The Commander put her sun glasses back on. "That shouldn't even be a 
>question,"
she >repeated.

JESSE:[Yamaki] So you haven't really decided yet either, huh?

>
>Yamaki chuckled again. "Touche."

JESSE: Turtle.
JERI: Another oldie, huh?

>
>"Choose your allies and enemies carefully, Yamaki," the Commander 
>recommended
as >she turned and started to walk away. "Especially be wary of your 
enemies.
They could >actually be allies."
>
>"You always did love to hand out riddles."

JESSE: How do they know one another, anyway?
LEOMON: Beats the heck outta me.
JERI: What was the riddle?
MARI: Yeah. It sounded an awfull lot like she just said "Keep your friends 
close
and your enimies closer."

>
>The Commander stopped and turned her head. "It gives the brain something to
think >about other than death, destruction, and prejudice." And she went 
away
leaving >Yamaki to go home and nurse the part of him that was wounded the 
most:
his pride.

RENAMON: Nice ending, anyway.
JESSE: Yeah.
MARI: Let's just get out of here. The funny smell is starting to bother me.
[all exit theater]

[Lobby. Wide view. A thin man dressed just like JESSE, only unbruised, with 
a
powder gray beard and no glasses is at the snack counter.]

MAN:[deeper voice than JESSE's; Canadian accent] Well, folks, I've got an
announcement to make, but I gotta wait for Dalton to show up.

[LEOMON enters, still dressed as Dalton Humphries. The Man looks over at 
him.]

MAN: Boy, uh, Dalton. Aren't you a little old to have a growth spurt like 
that?
LEOMON: I'm not Dalton.
MAN: You're not? You sure look like him.
LEOMON: I'm not. My name's Leomon. [pause] Are you the *real* Red Green?
RED GREEN: That I am. But where's the real Dalton? You didn't eat him or
something...?
LEOMON: No, no. I don't do things like that.

[DALTON Humphries and JESSE enter.]

DALTON: Red! Red! We've got a problem! [sees LEOMON] Oh, I see you've 
already
found out.
RED GREEN: Yep. So, what's with the guys dressed like us around here, 
anyway?
JESSE: Well, there's a young woman around here that gets him and me mixed up 
if
we don't dress different.
LEOMON: So we decided to dress like the two of you to keep from having her 
beat
up the wrong person.
RED GREEN: Doesn't look like it worked too well. You've got a doozy of a 
bruise
there...
JESSE: Ah, no, somebody else did that. It'll be awhile before I mention tape
recorders again.
DALTON: So where is this ladyfriend of yours?
LEOMON: She's out with everyone else getting ready for this announcement.
RED GREEN: Oh, the meeting. We'll be right there.
JESSE: Ah. OK. We'd better get going, then.

[DALTON, JESSE and LEOMON leave the lobby. RED GREEN stays for a moment.]

RED GREEN: Well, for those of you in South Dakota, my movie *Red Green: Duct
Tape Forever* should be shipping real soon. [turns around] If my wife is
watching, we'll be home as soon as we're all done filming the local ads for 
the
movie. [turns back] And for the rest of you, keep your stick on the ice. 
[waves
and leaves]
[Hallway, set up to look like a meeting at Possum Lodge, with a row of 
chairs
facing the camera and several rows of filled chairs facing away. In the 
front
row are JESSE and LEOMON, still dressed as Red and Dalton, then an empty 
chair
for RED GREEN, then the *real* DALTON and Winston Rothschild. The theme to 
"The
Red Green Show" can be heard in the background.]

JESSE: All rise.

[The crowd stands up, raises first the left hand, then the right, and put 
their
hands on the opposite shoulders]

ALL: Quando Omni Flunkus Mortai.
RED GREEN: Sit down.

[all sit]

RED GREEN: Bow your heads for the Men's Prayer.
ALL: I'm a man, but I can change. If I have to. I guess.
RED GREEN: OK, so if any of you guys know the whereabouts of a guy who goes 
by
"Phantom 1," raise your hand.
[no hands go up]
RED GREEN: Ah, OK, the folks looking for him already did some damage to 
somebody
bigger than them. [to JESSE] Show `em that bruise, Jesse.
JESSE:[turns head to reveal bruise]
[almost all raise their hands.]

[the theme music gets louder for the credits.]

Voices:

{JMST3K}
Jesse Shearer as JESSE
Steve Smith as RED GREEN
Bob Bainborogh as DALTON Humphries
Bridgette Hoffman as JERI
Paul St. Peter as LEOMON
Melissa Fahn as RIKA and MARI
Mari Devon as RENAMON

{Digidefenders}
Melissa Fahn as Mari
George Takei as Shinji
Cree Summer as Chi
Claudia Christian as Commander
Stephen Jay Blum as Yamaki
Jeffery Hirschfield as Jorge
Peter Jurasik as Nikolai
Philece Sapmler as Betamon
Michael McManus as Lopmon/Endigmon
Nancy Cartwright as Elecmon
Brian Downey as Ponchomon

{Televison and Cartoons}
Farscape and LEXX copyright Sci Fi Channel.
Babylon Five copyright Warner Bros.
Touche Turtle copyright Hanna Barbera.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 copyright Best Brains, Inc. and Sci Fi Channel.
The Red Green Show copyright S & S productions.
Pokemon copyright Nintendo and 4Kids Entertainment.
The Lone Gunmen copyright Chris Carter.

{Music}
"Whip It" performed by Devo.
"Whole Lotta Shakin'" perfromed by Jerry Lewis.

{Movies}
Star Trek: Generations copyright Paramount.

{General}
Mega Man copyright Capcom.
Windows XP copyright Microsoft.
"Where's Waldo?" copyright its creators.
Coacoa Pebbles produced by General Mills.
WWF owned by Vince McMahon.
Attack From Mars pinball table copyright Bally.
J. Michael Shearer's Theater created by Jesse "J. Michael" Shearer.

Disclamers: 1) This work does not indicate intend to infringe on the rights 
of
Best Brains, Inc.; the Sci Fi Channel; or the original author. 2) None of 
the
actors or performers listed were consulted or compensated in any way in 
regards
to this production.

Stringer:
>
>Shinji's mother closed the door behind her. She thought she heard a thump, 
>like something falling, but dismissed it as clothes or school books.
>
>"Don't worry, Mom, I'm not hiding anything legal."