This is a test of the Emergency MSTing System (EMS). If ever an unmisted fanfic crosses into the internet, it will automatically be MSTed for your protection and enjoyment. STEVE: For Koopafics, it's enjoyment. For Oscarfics, it's protection... We would appreciate it if the misting staff would not riff during their own introduction. LAURA: So? Your point? Anyway, you should know the deal. Normal folk shot into space, forced to view bad media, thanks to the evil Dr. Forrester, ALL: Boo! who is using these "experiments" in order to find the one piece that will break our heroes' spirits. STEVE: Never! LAURA: Um, but we *do* hope we won't be up here that long... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ OUR INTREPID CREW (Now we are in space! Surely you are entertained!)- STEVE (Steven Sulzer): The Main Author of this series. Take Mousse's (Ranma 1/2) Glasses, brown hair that never stays in place, Anthony Michael Hall's (Breakfast Club) geekish form, voice that (depending on mood) can switch between Zelgadis (Slayers) and Loud Kiddington (Histeria), a personality about as unstable as Shinji Ikari's (Evangelion), a taste in music as eclectic as College Radio, a penchant for wearing a green army coat and drinking tea, and you've got Steve... kinda. LAURA (Laura Miceli): Take Lina Inverse's body (Slayers), add hair that's a bit like Kiriya's (El Hazzard), a mildly goth attitude and style of dress, a facination with wrestling and the comic works of Jhonen Vasquez ("Johnny the Homicidal Maniac", "Squee"), and that's Laura...kinda. JAYNE (Jayne Wenner): Take Lina Inverse's Attitude & Hair (though she's more like Asuka Langly when ticked off), cross it with a rather more *mature* body, toss in an insanely long list of guys drooling at her feet, a mild internet addiction (along with a more severe Barenaked Ladies addiction), and shove all this into a blender with Vegetarianism and New- Age religion, and that's Jayne...kinda. CURRENTLY COMATOSE IN HER ROOM ONBOARD THE SATELLITE OF LOVE. (SEE EPISODE 2) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ EMS Systems: Episode 4 Dr. Strangewaff (Or How I Learned to Ignore the Plot and Write Gushy Fics About Asuka), by Chenalos ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 1. Neon Genesis Evangelion, and all stuff associated with it, is property of Hideaki Anno & GAINAX. 2. MST3k, and all stuff associated with it, is property of Best Brains, Ltd. 3. Dr. Strangewaff (Or How...etc.) is a work owned by the aforementioned Chenalos, whomever they are. This misting is just for kicks. I'm not trying to be mean. If you don't like the fact that I've MSTed you, tell me. It will be removed from the internet ASAHP. (Even though you ASKED for this to be MSTed...) 4. Any mention of random stuff is not an attempt to infringe on copyrights held by other people. 5. It's just parodies and fanfics anyway, lighten up! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ LAST TIME ON EMS SYSTEMS... "Well, how was it this week?" Laura smirked at the Doctor, "Infinitely Survivable." Steve stood, silently. Dr. F, turning a bit darker, said, "Well, if that's the way it's going to be, we're just going to have to continue with Ran Wars...all the rest of the parts, then on to Episodes 5 & 6, then..." Steve's hand began to move towards the GREEN (submission to Dr. F.) button. Dr. F noticed it. Laura didn't. "...A Ratliff Marathon!" Closer... "Or maybe even...Oscar!" Hovering above the button...Laura notices, and her eyes go wide... "But first, we've got a horrid little fic that was sent to me so it would be given to you post-haste! It's an EVA fic that-" He is immediately cut off, by a whoop of pure joy. "YESSS! EVANGELION! WHOO-HOO!" Steve runs off to his room, from which the heavy chords of Blur's "Globe Alone" began to emanate. Laura breathed a sigh of relief, then smiled at Dr. F. "Neener-neener-neener, you can't beat us!" Now thoroughly enraged, Dr. F ranted at Laura, who merely walked away from him. "SO, NERV-BOY & GOTH-GIRL, YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN TAKE ME? COME ON, LET'S GO!" Once more, the sirens went off aboard the satellite. "AHHHHH! WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!" Door 6: It's a wall, made of white blocks. You deliver Judge Worm's sentence, and it crumbles in an insanely long SFX sequence. Door 5: It's a waterfall. You find the guitar hidden in the cave behind it and play, allowing you to pass by. Door 4: It's a TV. Nothing's on, so you pull a classic Keith Moon move and toss it off a balcony into a swimming pool. Door 3: It's a very large Armadillo/Tank. You summon a Manticore from nowhere, who promptly stings it in the eye, sending it off into the river to die. You walk around it. Door 2: It's Joe's Garage. You play that same ol' song, 'till Mrs. Borg calls the police. Door 1: The 5th door from the Target is still standing. You growl at it and push it open. Laura enters first and takes a seat near the middle of the theatre. Steve follows close behind, and sits at her right. STEVE: LAURA: Is it just me, or did Dr. F install an IMAX system? > __________ >/ _________\ >\ \ _________ > \ \ __ _______ __ _____ / _______/ > \ \ || ||____/ |\ |\ /\ || / _ \\ \ > \ \_____||___||___ | \ || //\\ || | / \ | \ \_______ > \______||___||__/ ||\\|| //__\\ || |-| |-| \_______ \ > || ||_____ || \ | // \\ ||____ | \_/ | \ \ > || |_____/ |/ \|// \\|____/ \_____/ \ \ >\¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ / >¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ STEVE: No. >(secretly) Presents: STEVE: Stuff. More Stuff. Other Stuff. Bad Stuff. LAURA: Secretly, because he's too embarrassed to say to the world, "Hey, I suck!" >This fic is dedicated to all people with the guts and common sense to >stand up and say that EoE sucks. STEVE: For those about to suck, we salute you... LAURA: What's EoE? STEVE: As far as I can tell, it means "End of Evangelion", which is a movie based on the Evangelion series, that basically changes the whole ending. But then again, I could be wrong. LAURA: And Chenalos thinks it sucks. STEVE: Yeah. >For right now, that's Boogz, Jim Lazar and, of course, Shinji Ikari the 10 >o'clock assassin, but more and more will see eventually the light. STEVE: Have you seen the light? LAURA: The Band! THE BAND! >NEW EoE HATERS: Tiffany Grant (Evangelions "Asuka") > Nick Nargrath (Webmaster for EVAfiction) > Chris Voutsis (Evafan) LAURA: Does this guy ever start writing the story? STEVE: I don't wanna write, I wanna rant on the fic all day! >Major EoE spoilers ahead! LAURA: Care. 'Cause I've seen this series before, really... >This is also an anti-WAFF fic. STEVE: He doesn't like waffles either? Picky, picky... >I think this is a WALYFT fic. >(Weird, And Leaves You Feeling Twisted) BOTH: YES! >Neon Genesis Evangelion is owned by Gianax. ADV released the series >(INCLUDING THE WONDERFUL, GENESIS 0:13) Manga will release the *Gulp* >movies. STEVE: Yes, coming soon from Manga Entertainment...the story of the slushie machines...*Gulp*, the movies... LAURA: Suck it like you loves it, baby! >I promise you this is my last movie crossover/parody/rip-off fic! STEVE: And there was much rejoicing. BOTH: Yay. >from now on, it's gonna be straight Eva. LAURA: As opposed to yaoi Eva. >------ >Just two notes before you start off the fic: STEVE: Dun-DUH! >1) I litst Tiffany Grant as an "EoE Hater" sadly, this is not true. STEVE: One more person, lost to the insanity that is...EoE... >I heard directly from Ms. Grant herself LAURA: I'm not kidding here, folks! I really talked to her! Really! Hey, where're you all going? >that she does like EoE, evn though it "disturbs" her. No surprise to me. >EoE would disturb Charels Manson. >2) I Have a Wensite(Yay): LAURA: When? STEVE: Who? LAURA: I dunno. BOTH: Third Base! >http://members.xoom.com/chenalos/Realm.htm >and if you want to get right into my Anti-EoE philosophy: STEVE: Philosophy? ...........right. O_o >http://members.xoom.com/antieoe.htm > >Those two things being said, prepare yourself for a slice of something >evil, served with a smile... LAURA: Happy Meals? >---------------------- STEVE: Oh, look. Our first shot at a line joke. D'you have any? LAURA: Ahem... We've arrived too late. The fic's already dead. >It has been the stated position of The UN, STEVE: To go into any available warzone and pray they don't get shot at... >The US government, LAURA: To find a way to deal with FloriDUH once and for all... >The Japanese government, STEVE: To under-produce the PS2 and spend their time plotting to destroy the US... >Anno, LAURA: To wish that no-one wrote fanfics about his stuff... >Gianax, LAURA: To sell said stuff and make lots of money off of us poor otakus... >NERV, STEVE: To be run by a madman who does jack as a father, and to barely survive against the Angels... >SEELE, STEVE: To own NERV, remain secret, and to moonlight as FEMA on the "X-Files"... >Commander Hayes/Hayase, STEVE: To fall in love with the SDF-1, and to be the only survivor of its destruction... >Three-out-of-four Kiristin Dunst stalkers, LAURA: To do terrible things that none of us want to know about... >and the entire population of Lodi New York, LAURA: To make sure that this author leaves town ASAP... STEVE: Oh, Lord...Stuck in Lodi again... >that the safeguards in the anime universe would prevent events such as have >occurred in this fic from ever coming to pass, STEVE: Otherwise, we *are* the second impact generation... >also no-one in this fic are meant to represent any real person living or >dead. LAURA: No S-I! Yes! BOTH: >^_^ Trust me... BOTH: Great... > * * * * * STEVE: Starry, starry night... >One day, Hideaki Anno got on an escilator. LAURA: INTENSE...MALL-RATTING...ACTION! >He slipped and got a bad cut on his head, requiring stiches and resulting >in headaches. I don't know who's got the Voodoo doll, but thank you. LAURA: Come on, you can't hate him that much, I mean if he never created Evangelion, you wouldn't have written this! STEVE: Maybe that's the point... >---------------------------| > |Chenalos@aol.com >"Adam is with me now, Rei" | > |------------------------------------------- STEVE: That's one hell of a letterhead. >Gendo looked down upon his tool anticipating the moment he has sold his >soul to. LAURA: ...to Satan! For a reasonable rate! STEVE: He looked at his tool? Damn, man, wait till you're in private... >This moment, when the project will be complete. LAURA: Just imagine a S-D Gendo Ikari turning in his "projects" in elementary school. >"In order for me to finally see my wife, I must commit the ultimate >heresy, the forbidden bond between Adam and Lilith." STEVE: ...but the damn superglue just WON'T STICK! >Rei's left arm dropped right off of her body, just above the elbow. STEVE: Hmn, "Plop!" is Tim's, "TOGGG!" is Megane's...I need a sound effect... >The arm lay on the ground, a little tissue extending out to where the bone >once held it in place. Otherwise, the cut was as precise as could be done >by a surgeons scalpel. > >"We Don't have much time, your AT LAURA: & F? STEVE: M? LAURA: V? STEVE: tack? LAURA: eam? >field is already loosing STEVE: Hold on loosely, don't let go... >the ability to hold your shape. Rei, Lower your AT field. Take me and Adam >into Lilith. Unite the souls of earth into one. LAURA: One what? One Alligator? One Happy Meal? C'mon, man, SPECIFICS! >Then I will see Yui again." STEVE: Well, who's the dimwit who put her in EVA-01 in the first place? >Rei closed her eyes, and Gendo extended his hand to her naked breast, LAURA: Lolita complex much? >sinking his fingers onto it STEVE: TOGGG!!! *WHACK* STEVE: Ow... >like it was made of jelly. Rei cringed, experiencing a feeling which could >not be described by mere words. LAURA: Uh, Chenalos, you just did...or something. >The breast gave way, as Gendo's palm sunk completely into it. The breast >enveloped Gendo's whole hand, and bounced back, STEVE: Boing! ...Ugh, I feel dirty now. >regaining its full shape, except for the nipple, as Gendo's hand occupied >the space where it was supposed to be located. Gendo moved his hand away >from the breast, and ran it down to Reis' stomach, just below the navel. >Rei cringed and gasped at the same time. LAURA: Ow...I feel her pain... STEVE: I'm just in pain from the fic... >'Isn't there supposed to be a uterus here?' Gendo wondered BOTH: LAURA: Is it okay to hate him now? STEVE: > *Try a Little Tenderness* STEVE: O...kay... Hey...how's it goin'? LAURA: Not bad...Yourself? > NEON GENESIS EVANGELION LAURA: The Light Bulb, The Band, The Giant Robot... >Episode 26''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' >''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' >''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' >''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' LAURA: The Cable's gone out! STEVE: Does that mean the fic only has 5 minutes of battery power? DR. F: >''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' >''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' >''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' DR. F: FRANK! FRANK: Yes, Boss? >''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' DR. F: Did you hit the button? FRANK: No, I'll go do that now... *WHACK* DR. F: It's not TIME to hit the button, I just wanted to know if you DID, you blithering idiot! FRANK: Did I answer that already? >''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' >''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' DR. F: FRANK: AHHHHHH! DR. F: *CRASH* >''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' >''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' >''''''''-and-' DR. F: There. STEVE: Aw! BOO! LAURA: He fixed it! What a bum! >_________________________________________________________________________ > >:::::::::::::::::: ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; OR: H L T T A G A >::::::::::::::::::: ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; O E O H N U B >:::::::::::::::::::: ;;;;;; ;;;;;; W A E D S O >:::::: ::::::: ;;;;;; ;;;;;; R I H U >:::::: ::::::: ;;;;;; ;;;;; I N G P W Y T >:::::: ::::::: ;;;;;; ;;;;; E N L R :::::: > :::::: ;;;;;; ;;;;;; D O O I F ASUKA. >:::::: :::::: ;;;;;; ;;;;;; R T T I >:::::: :::::: ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; E E C >:::::: :::::: ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; S >:::::: :::::: ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; >:::::: :::::: ;;;;;; ;;;;;; >::#### ###### #####:: ;;;### ##;;;;## ##### ##### ## ## ### > ###### ###### >:##:::# ## :##::## ;;##;## ###;;;##;## ## ## ## ## ## ## > ## ## >::##:: ## ::##### ;##;;;## ## #;;##;## ##### ## ## ## ## > ##### ##### >::::##::::##::::##::## ######### ## #;##;## ###=##=== ## ## ## >######### ## ## >:#:::##:::##::::##: ## ##;;;; ## ## ###;##; ##=##=== ## ## ## ## >## ## ## >::####::::##::::## ## ##;;;; ## ## ##;;#### #=##### ## ## ## >## ## ## > > (ASCII ART: Keeping underground authors off the RAAC.) >_________________________________________________________________________ STEVE: 72 CPL too much work for ya? LAURA: What? No flashy, hyperkinetic opening montage? STEVE: This is a fanfic, remember? It's not done by the Japanese. And besides, "Dr. Strangelove" started off with refueling planes. >The gaseous remains of what was once the base swirled around Shinji, inside >Unit-1. STEVE: I should NOT have eaten that base, man...anyone got any Pepto? >His decision made, he finally was LAURA: ...going to get Comedy Central and the Sci-Fi Channel! >sitting here, inside his Eva. The last place on earth he wanted to be. LAURA: The Second-To-Last was on the set of the 'Jerry Springer Show'. STEVE: Uh, on today's show, we're going to have fathers with godlike aspirations and the kids who plan to use military force against them... >The child looked up. STEVE: Look, Mommy, there's an aeroplane up in the sky... >He saw the Evas that Asuka was fighting, flying like buzzards around him. > >"Asuka?" LAURA: ...cannot come to the phone right now, please leave a mesage after the beep. >As his vision cleared, he saw the flesh of Unit-02 ripped and torn among >the white Evas. One of the beasts flew with unit-02's head and chest ripped open. A single eye from the red Eva dangled lifelessly, from it's socket. LAURA: And my English teachers complain about my grammar? STEVE: Firstly, the flesh would not be ripped and torn among the EVAs, it would've been divided among the EVAs and then had been described as being 'ripped & torn'. Seco- *SMACK* *CRACK* STEVE: Oweowwwww... >Blood sheeted off of the Evas flesh like rain off of a rooftop. STEVE: ...into a small pipe at the edge of the EVA that would be clogged with leaves... >"Asuka?" LAURA: Yes, Shinji, you can say my name. Very good. Now, let's work on numbers! >The image of all the torn pieces, including that of a mutilated and >lifeless Asuka surged through his mind. STEVE: Woah...BAD acid... LAURA: Or else VH-1's showing "The Wall" again... >His terror escaped his mouth LAURA: Jeez, took me long enough...Kid, you ever think about BRUSHING? >as he screamed as loud as he could. Then he screamed out her name; >"Asukaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" STEVE: Tetsuo! LAURA: Kaneda! STEVE: TETSUO! LAURA: KANEDA! STEVE: TETSUUUUOOOOOOO! LAURA: KAAAANEEEEDAAAA! STEVE: Ladies and Gentlemen, 90% of the dialogue from "Akira"... >Deep within the inner parts of the plug, a component began to activate. LAURA: Coffeemaker on. Heating Water...Done. STEVE: Evangelion Inner-Angst Amplifier on. >Shinji's scream continued as the back of unit one was ripped to shreds. STEVE: Sometimes I feel, like I been tied to the Whippin' Post, and Oh, Lord, it feel like I'm dying... LAURA: You're into S&M too? I had no i- STEVE: Shh. >Four Wings of pure light surged out of the Unit's torso, and spread into a >perfect cross. LAURA: When'd Tenchi get here? >The component, which had activated, made contact with the A10 nerve >connection circuit board. BOTH: 3-2-1 CONTACT! >"Asuka, Asuka, Asuka, Asuka, Help me, please..." BOTH: Help me Asuka, Help-help me Asuka... >On the Moon, STEVE: ...Randolph Carter was escaping the clutches of the moon- beasts with the help of Earth's cats? LAURA: ...was another god-like self-insertion? STEVE: Ugh...not another SM lemon... >the lance of longonus ripped violently from the lunar surface, STEVE: Mezinks ze author has zome zymbolism problemz, no? >it sped unhindered through space, and headed directly for the Evangelion. LAURA: Entry plug shish-ka-bobs, anyone? >It stopped in mid air and hovered just in front of Unit one's chest. >Seeing this, The Eva series plunged their lances into unit one, and bit at >her wings, STEVE: OUR wings! LAURA: No! YOU want wings, YOU go to KFC! >dragging her high into the sky. >Their S2 organs began to burst from their chests. BOTH: >"Commander Fiyutsuki, The Eva series has captured unit-01, and they are >gaining altitude, sir." > >"So, Unit-01 will be their medium? LAURA: Unit-01 *is* Whoopi Goldberg *in* "Ghost"! >Very well. The stage is set for the end of mankind as we know it." BOTH: It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine... STEVE: 6-o-clock, TV hour, don't get caught in foreign tower, slash-and-burn, return, lis- *WHACK* STEVE: >The bridge crew gasped. LAURA: Captain Tylor, put your clothes back on! >Meanwhile, the component within the plug had finally made tertiary contact >with the A10 nerve link circuits, and it hooked up to Shinji. > >Asuka, Asuka, Asuka, Asuka, Asuka...A-...As...ka? LAURA: Suddenly, the android playing Shinji had had quite enough of this fic, and self-destructed. STEVE: The company sent us a robot... >In his mind, Shinji saw the image of Asuka. STEVE: First, mountain is mountain. Second, mountain is not mountian. Third, mountain is mountain. >She was standing there, smiling. She appeared to be happy. LAURA: As indicated by the fact that she's smiling, ya jackass! STEVE: Now, now, Minigoth, we can't blame the author for this... LAURA: Yeah, we can! STEVE: Hey...we can! >Outside, the Eva series collected in a formation around unit one. STEVE: Alright, you go out 10 and cut left...she'll buttonhook at 5, and get ready for the long bomb, you three... >They began to emanate an eerie glow. LAURA: Eat at Joe's...Eat at Joe's...Eat at Joe's... >In his mind the image of Asuka was quite clear. The vision was so real, >that he found himself talking as though she was really there, Even though >her body lay somewhere inside the torn pieces of unit-02. In his mind, >however, Asuka was standing right before him. STEVE: Yes. We understand that Shinji can see Asuka. It is quite obvious that he can see her quite clearly. It is quite plain to see how crystal clear this apparation of Asuka in Shinji's mind is. Even though this fact could easily explained in a few words, the fact that Shinji can see the late Ms. Langly was given an entire paragraph... LAURA: Shh. >"Asuka...I was your idiot." STEVE: Mama always said, 'Stupid is as stupid does'. LAURA: Wow, he's got low self-esteem problems, doesn't he? >he paused LAURA: Hey, could someone pick up the remote and unpause me here? 'Cause I am gettin' CRAMPED. >"Yours all along." > >"Sir, the Eva series are giving off some kind of energy." Hyuga screamed >"What? The Magi can't analyse it! Numbers can't express it! What the hell >is that thing?" STEVE: It's Tommy, the new food-delivery guy. Why do you ask? >"Anti-AT field..." Fiyutsuki muttered STEVE: Figures that NERV would get hit with the one weapon that would have made the angels look like... LAURA: Gophers? STEVE: Naw, more like... LAURA: Hamsters? STEVE: Not really, uh... LAURA: Lemmings? STEVE: Maybe. >"It's just like the second impact." Maya gasped into her computer screen. LAURA: She'll fog up the screen if she keeps doing that. >The Units united in a sephiroth. As the Anti-AT field energy mounted. > >In his mind, Shinji extended his hand to touch Asukas' cheek. The moment >that his fingers touched her face, Asukas' body melted into blood, which >fell into a puddle at his feet. STEVE: It's all a commie plot to take our precious bodily fluids. >Shinji's hand was extended, and it grasped the mortalised skull of Asuka >Langley Soryou. STEVE: Alas, poor Asuka. I knew thee well. Not well enough, if ya get my meaning, but I knew thee. >Instinctively he dropped the skull, and it fell into a pool of red blood, >on auburn hair. LAURA: Today's Ingredient....SKULL! STEVE: Fukui-San! Morimoto seems to be displaying the skull on a white plate with a layer of red blood on auburn hair for his main course... >Shinji jumped back, LAURA: Jump! Go ahead & Jump... STEVE: Get Back, Jojo... >and in the Eva he opened his eyes. All around him were the Eva series, the >murderers of Asuka. > >"the energy build-up has reached critical! It's gonna go!" STEVE: Not my precious bodily fluids! "ASUKA..." LAURA: ...VERSUS GODZILLA, WITH THE FATE OF TOKYO-3 HANGING IN THE BALANCE! STEVE: Where'd you learn to do that? LAURA: Jim Ross. >The troops on the ground were expecting a flash of light followed by a >rending shockwave, LAURA: They were watching "Akira". >instead, beams of pure energy directed straight into unit-01. LAURA: They turned their flashlights on. >The absolute Anti-AT Field ripped nearly all of the armored plates directly >off the Eva. The power streams from each and every Eva Series bound itself >to the Unit-1's core, as the sephiroth blazed inward, STEVE: ...swinging a sword and screaming his rage at Cloud... >ripping off every last armor plate. STEVE: Every one! Every last one, folks! They just ripped right off... >The flesh of unit-01 began to melt away LAURA: Stupid. It shouldn't have opened the ark. >and drain into LCL, only a metal internal framework remained, as the bone >around it was excavated. Like dead flies, the Eva series began to fall out >of the tree of life, BOTH: AHHHH! *THUMP* >as their S2 engines could no longer sustain the blasting. As the last Eva >fell, all that remained in the sky, was a metal support, like a scaffolding >holding the Entry plug firmly on one end, and the S2 organ, or core, on the >other end. LAURA: So it's a giant shish-ka-bob? >A sphere and a pod held still in the sky, bound together by beams of >wrought iron that somehow held it there, despite all the devastation that >occurred around it. STEVE: And despite all the gravity, too... >This is what was left of unit one, and The Lance of Longonus hovered before >it. > >For the first time in as long as he could remember, Fiyutsuki stared, >shocked and dumbfounded at the screen. LAURA: This fanfic...it sucks! >"Ikaris' son...suffered the third impact." STEVE: So? Here's the Fourth... >The bridge crew, too, could not take their eyes off of the remains of >unit-01, and the lance of longonus, fixed in the sky. LAURA: Check it out, Steve, that's what happened to Gendo's superglue... >The Monoliths of SEELE(making a guest appearance from 2001) became >disturbed. STEVE: 2001 in an EVA fic, where have I heard that before... No! Please, whatever you do, DON'T cross this over with Neon Exodus Evangelion...please... >SEELE 8: The third impact has been averted. > >SEELE 7: Our project has ended in nothing. LAURA: Oh, it's a presidential campaign... STEVE: Not like our Canadian friends would understand that... *WHACK* >SEELE 10: It won't take long now, and the UN will discover our plans. Then >we shall fare worse than NERV. > >SEELE 1(Keel): Are the Eva series still active? STEVE: <#6> Who is Number One?!?!?! >SEELE 7: What does it matter? LAURA: IT DOESN'T MATTER! STEVE: It matters. Trust me. LAURA: Really? STEVE: Eh. >SEELE 1: Our project can still be fulfilled. LAURA: We're just gonna have to pull an all-nighter... STEVE: Who's got the coffee? >SEELE 7: HOW, YOU OLD FOOL? WHAT CAN WE DO? ALL THAT YOU HAVE CONVINCED >US OF! ALL THAT WE HAVE DONE BECAUSE OF YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOUR GREAT >PLAN! FROM THE SECOND IMPACT ONWARD YOU ONLY HAD US BELIEVING A LIE! LAURA: And, and, and...And, yeah, FUCK YOU! >SEELE 1: Regain your composure, as long as the Eva series survived, we >still have a chance. > >SEELE 7: Forget about your Evas I'm authorising the abort code. STEVE: And I've got a very good idea of what it is! >Keel at his desk quickly typed a sequence of keys, LAURA: CTRL-ALT-DELETE. STEVE: Keyboard not detected. LAURA: CTRL-ALT-DELETE! STEVE: Keyboard not detected, idiot. LAURA: INSERT BROADSWORD. STEVE: Wha? That sword would be bigger than you! LAURA: >as the SEELE 7 monolith disappeared. Before every member of SEELE, a >hologram of a man sitting at a desk. The man quickly turned around in his >chair, and he screamed. LAURA: Oh, my God! It's Oscar! >He brought his hands up in front of himself, meaninglessly, STEVE: Does anything have meaning? LAURA: Not this fic. >as the bullets began to pour into his flesh. The man collapsed on his >desk, and tried, pathetically to crawl to safety over it. As caps raked >his back, he collapsed onto it, STEVE: Jeez, he's just collapsing all over the place. LAURA: The Department of Redundancy Department...They even hold sway and have control in the secret hidden base of SEELE... >and tried, helplessly, to paw his way over. LAURA: Eww, you pervert, stop pawing me! >His breathing had turned to the sound of an inhuman wheeze, STEVE: When'd Darth Vader get here? >as his lungs tried to take the air that lay beyond the blood. A soldier >entered the hologram, and pressed a pistol to the man's head. The bullet >passed through his cranium STEVE: Before the soldier fired... LAURA: Ha. I don't need to pull trigger. You are being already dead. >and then bore into the table, the contents of his hollowed head turned the >tabletop a sinful shade of red. (cool a dark rhyme) LAURA: Who said that? >SEELE 1: I suppose 7 is not the lucky number. STEVE: Let's try 4...C'mon, Daddy needs a new car... >3, is the Eva series still operating? LAURA: This question requires an essay between 238.2 and 294.56 words, and must be written in the next five minutes. >SEELE 3: Yes, however, their S2 engines are still drained of their energy. LAURA: Game over, man...GAME OVER! >SEELE 1: Can they fly? STEVE: Not right now, I just used the last of the LSD... >SEELE 3: Only barely > >SEELE 1: Command them to consume the core of unit-01, only then can we >re-initiate the third impact and have a hope to win. STEVE: ...A NEW CAR! LAURA: Where'd *you* learn to do that? STEVE: Don Pardo. >The Evas propped themselves up from the ground, and in what can only be >described as a drunken stupor, spread their wings and forged them as best >they could LAURA: FORGED them? What are they, blacksmith mecha? >through the air, pushing with all their might to ascend to the core of >Unit-1. Without warning, however, the Lance plunged into the core. STEVE: Crescent Hawks, GO! LAURA: Ah, obscure riff... >The lance unwrapped, and re-worked itself inside the red organ, as it began >to burst out of the life essence of the Eva. The branchings began to wrap >all around the core, spreading out like a plant, but taking the shape of a >man. LAURA: PLANT-MAN! Dadada-dadada-dadada-dun! STEVE: Heh, I think Spoonman would kick Plantman's ass... >ultimately, the wrappings looked exactly like a bush, made into the form of >a human. > >"Oui, oui, zis Shinji Ikaeri Has become zee centaer of zee tree of life." LAURA: What the hell's Freud doing in this? >"Doctor Strangewaff? What are you doing here?" Fiyutsuki shouted STEVE: No need to shout. I'm right here. >Strangewaff was a short man, with blonde hair. STEVE: Look, Laura- someone who's short enough for you! *WHACK* STEVE: My station in life...beaten up by my own friends. >His ultra-thick glasses hung like a plate window upon his narrow head. LAURA: Sadly, someone wanted to test that metaphor, and chucked a brick at his face... >Having dealt with few other sights than his own computer screen, he >perpetually squinted behind them. That is, until he would look into a >monitor, and his eyes would expand to huge light absorbing saucers behind >the lenses of his spectacles. LAURA: A Monitor! Ooooooooohhh....pretty... >He had a slight limp, STEVE: Yeah, we had Guido 'take care' of that punk frog... >and always carried a cane, though only the age of 32. LAURA: read: He's NERV's resident pimp. >He was probably the least likely to survive the Coup d' SEELE, and yet, >here he was on the command bridge. STEVE: Thanks to the Saotome secret technique... >He responded calmly to Fiyutsukis' sudden rant. LAURA: SHUT UP! I DON'T NEED YOUR CRAP RIGHT NOW! STEVE: Okay, so maybe I lied... >"Do not be Shreel, Proffesaer" The French doctor replied, STEVE: How do we know that you're French? LAURA: It iz becauze I haff zis OUTrageous Aczent! >"I wus hiding in my offeece, LAURA: ...like a leetle girl. >when I saw zat zee LUMV-3114 had ectivcated abored unit-01." > >"Ohh, yes, you designed the 3114, didn't you?" STEVE: Yez. It vaz my final project at Plot Contrivanze School. >"Oui, I deed, and now I am heppy to see my inventión Stoping zee sird >impact." > >"What do you mean, stopping the third impact?" LAURA: What do you zink I mean, you imbicile? >"Shhh," Strangewaff said raising his finger. LAURA: ...and flipping off the writers... >"One momaent proffesaer accerdeeng to my readings, zee 3114 is still >acteeve! Zere is still a show to see." LAURA: Manson's in town! >He said with a smile > >The Eva series continued to rise, forcefully into the sky. Like drowning >men, LAURA: They had a snowball's chance in hell. >the Evas fought up as bet they could, thrusting with all their might. LAURA: Mecha Lemons...THERE'S something you don't see everyday. >In the command center, the bridge crew felt sure that the Eva series would >easily grasp Unit-01, as it held fast in the sky, like a straw man, STEVE: JOHN BARLEYCORN MUST DIE! JOHN BARLEYCORN MUST DIE! LAURA: What the *hell* are you talking about? STEVE: It's an album by the Early Progressive Rock band Traffic. LAURA: Progrock Geek. STEVE: Ummm...Lamer. LAURA: ...What? STEVE: Yeah, you're a lamer! LAURA: Is that anything like a hoser? STEVE: I dunno, but that's what you are... LAURA: Progrock geek. STEVE: Lamer. LAURA: Progrock geek! STEVE: Lamer! LAURA: PROGROCK GEEK! STEVE: LAMER! DR. F.: STEVE: STEVE-CHAN: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! STEVE: Ah! LAURA: Are you okay, Steve? STEVE: Um...Yeah. Where are we in the fic? LAURA: Here. >it's "head" bowed. The bindings of the thorny lance that had become the >new body of the Eva wrapped in tightly, forming an STEVE: ...warm and fuzzy sweater... >infinite knot, making the body into a firm structure. The white Evas >circled below the tree of life/Eva Unit-01; coming ever closer to it, STEVE: LAURA: LCL Shark. Shark is in the LCL. I think we're gonna need a bigger boat. >with each mighty flap of their enormous wings. It would seem that third >impact would be re-initiated regardless of how Shinji felt about it. > >But that was just how it seemed. STEVE: And now for something completely different. >Somewhere, a droplet fell into a basin of free-standing water, making >a distinct 'Pluck' sound as it's waves rippled across the surface of >the fluid. STEVE: And now...a SKETCH! >Without warning, the right arm of unit-01 unwrapped itself, LAURA: The newest in holiday gift-giving: Self unwrapping presents! STEVE: Though I don't think they're going to like this one... >and quickly recoiled forming a long, drill-like, multi-helix. STEVE: *FEAR* the power of the almighty DNA! >The Eva fell from the sky, STEVE: And here...I'm floating in my tin can... >and headed straight for one of the Eva series. The Unit spread it's teeth >wide open to consume the red sphere wrapped in the thorny tree of life. LAURA: Trees of life- Now in Cherry Cordial... >Its wings spread, and it's arms reached out to take the core. STEVE: This EVA must be related to Dr. Strangelove- it doesn't know what its limbs are doing... >The thorny unit one, however, dug it's left hand into the white Evas face. >Seven points of the tree of life formed seven fingers on unit-01's twisted >hand. STEVE: That..is either the stupidest sentence I have ever heard, or a thought that is so deep, it is beyond the ken of mortal man. LAURA: What's wrong with it? STEVE: I dunno. I just felt like saying that. >These points punched through the Eva series' head, LAURA: Again? STEVE: All of them? >and wrapped about inside of it like stitches, STEVE: LAURA: What? Don't know the words? STEVE: I can never tell what the heck he's saying... >punching and binding in every direction, weaving and stitching the Evas >head into the arm of tree of life. Unit-01 thrust through the breast >of the white Eva with it's drill-shaped right hand. > >"YOU KILLED HER! DIE YOU DAMMED MONSTER!" STEVE: Oh, my God! They killed Asuka! LAURA: Steve, they didn't make a single reference to bastards there, so there's no point in...oh, never mind. >Shinji's scream resounded in the control room. LAURA: Reverb much? >While Fiyutsuki, and the bridge crew LAURA: Engaged in passionate acts of- Mmph! STEVE: >gawked in terror, Strangewaff rubbed his cane and hands together, bouncing >eagerly upon his good heel and his walking stick. LAURA: Behold, otakus...Behold the almighty GAINAX BOUNCE! Who says it's only for female characters? >Unit-01s drill-arm ripped from the chest of the Eva. Bound inside the >helix shape of the protrusion was the spherical S2 engine which powered >the evil Eva. The unit was surely dead, as the helix wrapped inward and >crushed the engine. The other "arm" of unit one, un-stiched itself from >the Evas head, >and the beast fell, lifeless from the sky. LAURA: Um... STEVE: Uh...If anyone can find *anything* funny to say about this paragraph, e-mail us... >"DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL! LAURA: You maniacs! You blew it up! >I LOVED HER!" > >Dr. Strangewaff zipped his cane off the ground, and did a quick Charleston, >while everyone was intent on watching the battle. > >"It wearks! It wearks! I am a gen-ay-oos." > >The other Eva series dove into unit one, they swooped in with the force >of hurricane winds behind them. LAURA: The EVAs had beans for lunch. STEVE: They ate her? She's a good author...damn EVAs. >The first Eva to attack, tackled the Tree of life to the ground. It opened >it mouth to consume the organ, but before it could sink in a bite, two >prongs grew forth. In absolute synchrony, they shot right into the Evas >mouth, exiting on the other side, they then arched upward and back, to come >down on top of the unit's mouth. After plunging, a second time, into the >Unit's head, the prongs shot into the chest of the Eva. When they exited >the other side, they had wrapped around the S2 engine, and ripped it >directly through the units back. As before, the wrappings around the S2 >organ enclosed, crushing the life seed like an Egg. > >"Oui, Zis is Remarkable..." LAURA: I cannot believe zis is not butter! STEVE: Zee Author took half a page to describe half a second of action...I hate text. >"REMARKABLE? What are you saying? Strangewaff, what's going on?" >Screamed Fiyutsuki, but Aoba burst BOTH: Eww...messy. >in. LAURA: Oh. >"Unit-01, I mean the tree of life...Well whatever it is, LAURA: Unit Life...Tree of 01...Unit-01's Life Tree...whatever. >I think it must be in berserker." BOTH: Would you like to making f---, BERSERKER... >"Non, non, Zat she is not zee case. Zis is all zee work of Shinji, wiz a >littele help from LAURA: hiz friendz...Oh, yes, he getz byeyyyy... >zee 3114." Strangewaff spoke, even as the tree of life rended its third >Eva. > >"What do you mean Strangewaff? STEVE: I wasn't signed up to do no Strangewaff fic! >What is the 3114?" LAURA: And exposition begins...now! STEVE: Where's Ami-chan when you need her? >"Proffesaer, zee 3114 is a complicateed devize zat ectivates when it can be >confearmed, by a trensmission from an eva zat anozer pileet has died in zee >line of dutee..." STEVE: And the author feels the need to babble on pointlessly... >"I'll kill you all you pieces of shit!" Shinji continued STEVE: Continued what? Would you mind finishing that sentence? LAURA: I could think of a few ways to finish it... >"...You zee, if an angel weare powearfull enough to Keel one Eva pileet, >zen it could be arguued zat it would be powearfull enough to keel all >sree!" > >"AAAAAAAAAAH!" LAURA: I'M STILL STUCK IN THIS FIC!!! >"...So zerefore, zee 3114 links up to zee A-10 Naerve connecsíon, and >stimulates areas of zee brain wheech haerbor feelings for zis paerson >whom zee angel hes keeled. It enhasez zee feelings, whatever zey may >be LAURA: So...if they hated that person, they'd be really happy, and then they'd get their butt kicked by the Angel...My head hurts. STEVE: That's what you get for thinking about the fic. >faer zis paersón zrew zee Eveangelións emosional interfazue. So, zee >pileet weel react wiz all his or Haer rage in maxeemum overdríve." STEVE: Yeah, that movie causes a lot of rage... >"DIEEEEEEE!" STEVE: ...EMILIO ESTEVEZ!!!!!! LAURA: Like he said...that movie... >Strangewaff turned and looked at the viewing screen, where Shinji had >piled up five Eva corpses out of nine white nightmares. > >"I zink I heet zee jakpót, non? STEVE: 3114 is the number, Mr. Strangewaff, you have won, and the gentleman on 4 has lost. LAURA: Son of a mother... >Shinji must have really loved zis Asuka." LAURA: No...really... >Fiyutsuki shrugged "Maybe he liked her, but overall, love is too strong a >word." STEVE: Well, there's *someone* who didn't read the script... >"Nonsenze look at hees passío-." > >"Wait..." Maya interrupted "I thought Shinji liked Rei." LAURA: Is this the part where Evangelion gets all deep and depressing? STEVE: No, it's the part that makes you want to slap the main characters... >"Even zo, look at heem, zee 3114 couln'-" > >"Rei? Asuka?" Hyuga nearly screamed "That lucky bastard lives with >Misato, no way is he gonna stick to elementary school when he can F-" LAURA: Well, that F is the reason he's still IN elementary school...and just look at his other grades... STEVE: Just as long as it's not a *tech.* who's saying that... >"Alraete! Mizato is possibble, STEVE: No! Anything is possible! LAURA: STEVE: LAURA: STEVE: LAURA: DR. F: STEVE: AHHHHHH!!!! STEVE: I'm okay. Whew! >But look at hee-" > >"I dunno, you guys, the way he was always buddy-buddy with that Kensuke >poindexter...and the way he was around that Kaoru guy, I think he'd rather >play ball with the home t-" > >"ALRAETE! SHUT UP! LAURA: I DON'T NEED TO HEAR ZIS CRRAP! >You aere all clue-leaze! STEVE: She's a Valley girl, and there is no cure... >Shinji loves Asuka, wiz all hees heart and so-wel. LAURA: Is that anything like a *to-wel*? STEVE: Don't panic, Laura. Don't panic. >And Zey weel fall in deepaer in love! Shinji weel heve Asuka's Baybee, >Ter-" LAURA: Maybe Shinji-CHAN could do it... STEVE: Ah, Sirs, is very tragic story of EVA pilot who fell in pool of drowned young girl many years ago... >"STRANGEWAFF!" Fiyutsuki screamed, LAURA: SHUT UP!!! >"Look!" > >Strangewaff turned to the screen. STEVE: Hmn, must have fallen in spring of drowned screen. >(Oh, didn't I mention, they set up an external camera by remote control, >^_^ continuity, continuity) STEVE: Continuity? We don't need no stinkin' continuity! JAMIE: *THWACK* STEVE: Owwww!!! LAURA: You know, you might want to stop stealing everyone's riffs... STEVE: Why? >The tree of life had defeated the final of the Eva vseries, and its many >prongs pulled from the unit's flesh. The white Eva, Now having been >pierced with both nails and prongs collapsed into a pile before the thorny >being that was Unit-01. NERV, beyond all odds had won. STEVE: Nabiki's probably cleaning up on this fight... >The whole group stared at the screen. The SEELE troops had abandoned the >fight, and now, the EVA series had been defeated. Joy was back. LAURA: Oh, of *course* everything happens while I'm in the bathroom... >Hyuga jumped from his chair, screaming "Yeah!" STEVE: ARSENAL!!! >Aoba beat the console with his fists, like he was playing drums. > >Fiyutsuki let out a long sigh. LAURA: God, this sucks. >Maya raised her quivering hand from the keyboard, and with a single finger, LAURA: ...flipped off the writers again! What the heck? >wiped a tear of joy from her cheek. > >Strangewaff stood, leaning on his cane, smiling in victory. STEVE: MEIN FUHRER, I CAN WAL...Oh, wait. Wrong movie. >"Good work, everyone...but I guess the real thanks should go to Shinji." >Fiyutsuki spoke "...and the 3114." He said grinning at the doctor. STEVE: "Grinning at the doctor". Why would he say that? It's almost like the title of a Phish song... >"Non, non, non...Well, OK, Oui." LAURA: Well, what is it? >Strangewaff gloated "Well, zee 3114 should de-activate at any momaent now." STEVE: Why am I getting really bad vibes from that "should"? >Hyuga looked at his screen "I'm sorry, doctor, but LAURA: ...I can't do that. >it's still up and running." > >"Redeeculoos, Zat can't be." STEVE: It'z on Vindows, It should have crashed by now... >Strangewaff glared into the monitor, and his eyes instantly opened to twice >his normal dilation. > >"Why not doctor?" LAURA: Be...cauze...I...built it zat vay? No? >The doctor turned from the screen, and his eyes squinted once more. STEVE: How does an Anime character squint? >"Zee 3114 monitaers, as well as ztimulates rage in zee subjaect, when zee >enemy is defeatede, zee 3114 automatícally de-activates." LAURA: It may be in a horrid French accent, but at least it's not full-blown Star Trek technobabble... >"It's funny you should say that doctor, because the subjects emotion level >is still in high LAURA: Wow, man... STEVE: Who cares about the website now... Gimme another hit, man... *BAM* STEVE: Ugh... >rage." STEVE: When'd Fujin & Raijin get here? >"Non-sense, Zee Evas, zey aere all destroy-ed. What else is Zere to hate?" STEVE: Boy Bands... LAURA: Pokemon... STEVE: D.I.C.... LAURA: You know, bad stuff... >"FATHER!" Shinji exploded LAURA: Ew...Could we get a janitor down here, please? >in a mighty scream over the intercom. > >>Long pause< > >"Ohhh, Sheet" LAURA: Oh, yes sheet, I love you, oh, my sheet... STEVE: Laura, that's just sick. LAURA: Yeah, ain't it great? >"It's your fault she's dead you bastard! Everything you do ruins my life, LAURA: Oh, no, he's reverted to teen angst mode! STEVE: Again? >you ordered Asuka to pilot, didn't you? You SCUM! I'll kill you." LAURA: And your little dog, too! >The tree of life charged the Geofront's main shaft. LAURA: Is it me, or is that supposed to be dirty? STEVE: LAURA: Huh? Porn music? STEVE: It's Shaft! Can ya dig it? >The tree began to rip and tear at the Steel security bulkhead with it's >many prongs, grinding in ever closer LAURA: Okay, now that's just *blatantly* dirty... >to the father and the other people below. > >"Dr. Srangewaff..." STEVE: We're running out of innuendos... >"Oui..." LAURA: Whee! STEVE: There goes Gendo in his little boat again... LAURA: Hey, that's an obscure riff from- GOUKA: Fireball. LAURA: Neon Exodus Evangeleon... "What do we do?" BOTH: We leave. 1...2...3...4...5...6... Steve bounded out the door of the Theatre, a goofy look plastered upon his already goofy-looking face. Laura followed close behind, skipping along cutely. As if it were scripted, they stopped at the bottom of the theatre's wheelchair ramp, jumped up and gave each other a mid-air high-five that wouldn't be out of place in a bad late 80s movie. Then they each went back to their respective rooms for some downtime. The camera pans down a long hallway, past Steve's room, from behind which some extremely odd electronic sounds can be heard, to a black door at the end of the hall, which indicated Laura's room. Laura sat on a beanbag chair, humming "Just Like Heaven", by The Cure, contemplating all the anime fanfics she had read recently. A wicked smile spread across her face and she jumped up and began searching through her closet. Twenty minutes later Steve was startled by the sound of his door being thrown open. In bounced Laura with purple hair and high-slit oriental dress. Steve looked up from the mass of audio equipment he was entangled in and stared blankly as shock took over. Laura, smiling, said "Ranma happy to see Shampoo?" Steve's jaw dropped nearly to the floor, and he slapped his forehead. "I've created a monster," he sighed. Laura laughed. "Hey," Steve said, as though something important had just crossed his mind, "You'd better get changed before we have-" On cue, the buzzers and lights started up. "OOOOOOOHHH, WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Next time, on EMS Systems: Technical Difficulties! Strange Lovin' Action! And, of course, more obscure references than ever! Episode 5, "Dr. Strangewaff", part II!. More angst with Ikari & Co. courtesy of Chenalos...Watch For It! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ AUTHOR NOTES: STEVE- As I mentioned in the notes for our last MST, I've been thinking about how unoriginal I can get, so this time I really played up the "rip-off" factor, as a joke. I seriously hope all the authors I borrowed are not offended. If you *are* offended, let me know. I'll find some way to get you to northeastern PA so you can hit me in real life. Hard. Many thanks to Chenalos, who A. provided the fic, and B. helped keep morale up with supportive emails. Double thanks to Laura, who also wrote the 'Shampoo' skit at the end there. LAURA- Geez, it took me longer than usual to get my part done. Thank you Steve for getting me back to work. Thanks to Chris for lending me his copy of Evil Dead 2. Thanks to Erica for giving me the flyer for Sea-Sea's where I ended up chained to several people (including Jim). Thanks to Jim, for waiting with me in a parking lot until my sister came to get me, knowing that he would be late. Thanks to my sister for making up excuses as to *why* we were late. And a moment of silence for the farewell tour of the Jim Rose Circus Sideshow. P.S.: What can I say? I like dressing like Anime characters. :) Thank You, Farewell, and Goodnight, from both of us here at EMS Systems... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Send C&C, flames, suggestions, & other stuff like that to whoneedsthisreality@hotmail.com (Steve) or SlaveJ15@yahoo.com (Laura) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ EPISODE GUIDE I- Ran Wars, part 1 [RANMA] [SWARS] [XOVER] II- Ran Wars, part 2 III- Ran Wars, part 3 *IV- Dr. Strangewaff, part 1 [EVA] [MOVIE] [XOVER] [DARKish] V- Dr. Strangewaff, part 2 VI- Last Man Standing [ANIME] [SHORT] [XOVER] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "EMS Systems, Episode 4", (C) 2000: EMS Systems. Is that Charley? Hello, Charley......Great. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ >>Long pause< > >"Ohhh, Sheet"