Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the following: Mystery Science Theater 3000, Megaman, Super Mario Bros., Sonic the Hedgehog, and any thing else referred to through out this MiST. This is my first MiST so if you have anything to say, send any questions or comments to: tlund@tconl.com Notes: The theme to my MiST series will be at the end of this. The description of certain characters will be said then as well. No disrespect is meant to the authors of the fanfic I'm MiSTing. This fanfic I MiSTed has some "Relena bashing" that I added too. I don't hate Relena, but She isn't my favorite anime character. OPENING SCENE (Nothing is visible since there is only darkness. We do hear the sound of two people and one robot being thrown to a metal floor.) Voices 1-3: (various 'ow', 'oof' and other noises of pain as they hit the floor.) Voice1: Well, this is just the most bizarre day ever. Voice2: Hey, who's there? Voice3: Hey, are any of you guys human? Voice1: Well, I'm a robot. Voice2: Really? Me, I'm a hedgehog. Voice3 (confused): What? Voice1: Wait, I found a light switch. (Voice1 flips the switch and we see the room looks like the bridge of the) (SOL. We also see that the three are none other then...) Megaman: Well that's better. Sonic: Okay, who are you and what's going on here? Mario: Don't ask me, I just got here. Megaman: Yeah, Me too. (Mads light flashes) Megaman: What the...? Sonic: That an alarm or something? Megaman: I doubt it. I mean there's no warning sirens. Mario: Maybe were supposed to touch it. Sonic: You sure? Mario: It's better then doing nothing. Sonic (doubtful): Well, okay. (Sonic hits the Mads light. We see for the first time ever the captives of the three heroes. They are...) Dr.Wily: Ah, I see you found the bridge. Dr. Robotnik: Well Sonic, I wanted to kill you but this will do. Bowser: Now that you're there I finally can get my revenge on you, Mario! (Back to the wherever the three are. On the bridge, all three stare in) (shock.) Megaman: O_O Sonic (sweatdrops/nervous): Okay, heh heh, this must be a dream. Mario: Pinch you self and make sure. Sonic (pinches self): I am so screwed. Megaman: Okay, what's going on? (bad guy base[Sorry about the dumb name. I want keep the real name secret.]) Dr.Wily: I'm glad you asked. It's like this: I was in my lab working on my masterpiece, when < jerks thumb at Bowser > Bowser here fell through the ceiling. Bowser: Yeah, see I had altered some warp pipes and I was testing one and I wound up here. Dr. Robotnik: To make a long story short, Wily found me, used his bots to capture you in your sleep, and sent you up into space where we would torture you with fanfics until your wills are broken, and use you to conquer the world. Dr. Wily: Exactly, my fellow villains and I are in my newest Skull Fortress. You three are in the "Satellite of Wily" or SOW. (SOW) Sonic: You guys are going to torture us with what now? Megaman: Fanfics. I know what those are. Sonic: Oh, yeah right uh, hey what's your name? Megaman: I'm Megaman. Sonic: Oh, okay "Megaman", what's a fanfic? Megaman: A fanfic is a piece of fictional work made by a fan and is based on something like a t.v. show. Mario: Question, how do they send those things up here anyway? (Skull Fortress.) Bowser: That's simple, we use the theater on the ship. (SOW) Sonic: We have a theater? Does it work like a television? Mario: Do we get cable? (Skull Fort.) Bowser: Yeah, there should be a map on the bridge somewhere. Oh, and yes you do get cable in the theater and in the t.v.'s we have placed throughout the ship. (SOW. Megaman looks around. He lifts the desk above his head with one arm, and puts it down leaving Sonic and Mario wide-eyed in surprise.) Sonic (incredulous): ...Strong bot. Megaman (looks around): Let me see...map...map... (Mario looks in a drawer in the desk.) Mario (holds up map): Found it! Megaman: Oh that's nice. (S.F.) Dr. Wily: Good, now just so you know, the theater is made of the same metal Metool helmets are made out of, so you can't blast the screen. (SOW) Megaman: Aw shoot. Sonic: What's your problem? Megaman: I was going to shoot the screen with Megabuster so we don't have to read the "fics". Sonic: A Mega what? Megaman: Megabuster. It's a plasma weapon I have in either arm. I'll show you. Sonic: You're a combat robot aren't you? Megaman: Well, yes, but that wasn't my original function. Sonic (irritated): Whatever. Megaman: What? Its not like I wanted to change. Mario: Anyway, getting back to important matters, what should we do for the fic? (S.F.) Dr. Robotnik: The door that leads to the hall to the theater is behind you. When the fic has been loaded into the theater's system, alarms will go off, that's your cue to go to the theater. (SOW) Sonic (mutters): Great, I'm stuck up here in space with a combat drone. Megaman (annoyed): I heard that. And I am not a drone. Mario: What would you do if we don't go to the theater? (S.F.) Dr. Wily: I put Thunder beam emitters in the ceiling. (SOW) Megaman: Great, the only weapon that can take off 10 points on my energy meter in one hit. Sonic: How many hits are in your meter? Megaman: 28. Sonic: Oh. Sucks to be you huh? Megaman: Mario: Something occurred to me, how would our wills be broken by a fic if we don't know the source material? (S.F.) Bowser: We villains decided to let you guys study 20th century earth culture before the fics come in. We'll be using anime fics mostly, so you'd best learn about anime. It should take about a month. (SOW) Mario: Well, okay. There isn't anything better to do. Megaman: I hate this whole situation SO much. Sonic: Look ya walking scrap heap, we better things to do than hear you whine your head off. Megaman (angry): Scrap heap?! That's it, you're dead! Sonic: BRING IT ON!! (A fight between the two breaks out. Sonic is so fast that Megaman can barely connect a punch and as a result, gets beaten up by Sonic. When Megaman does connect, Sonic is knocked into a wall. Because of these factors, the two pass out and fight ends in a draw.) Mario: This is going to be a long month. (One year later, All three of them are on the bridge. Sonic is floating above the other two as Super Sonic. They seem to be in the middle of something.) Mario: So in my opinion, living in the Masaki house may actually be a bad thing if all those girls all have the same "time of the month". Megaman: True, true. Sonic: Megaman, do you have an opinion on an anime series? Megaman: Well if you ask me, I think that exploring the nature of Kari's hidden powers could make for an interesting plot for Digimon. I mean, they already made an episode devoted to her powers, granted it was masked as a big "Takari" hint, but it was devoted to her powers none the less. (Before the others can reply, lights and sirens go off. Sonic lands and powers down to normal.) Sonic: That conversation was short-lived! Mario (over the noise): ISN'T THIS OUR CUE TO GO TO THE THEATER?! Megaman (same): YES! I THINK WE GOT A FAN FIC SIGN! Door sequence 6: the robotization pod Sonic1. The thing explodes and you continue. 5: the alternating box from Mario3. You get two stars and a mushroom. 4: a big Metool that falls through the floor after its hat falls. 3: a teleport monitor from Sonic2. It breaks and you teleport to the next door. 2: the POW block from the Mario arcade game. It flattens out and you advance. 1: the Boss lair door from the NES Megaman games. You move after it rises into the ceiling. 0: the standard vault door. It opens to the right and into the theater you go. (Everyone takes a seat. Sonic sit in the aisle seat, Megaman sits in the next seat, and Mario takes the third one.) Mario: Hey, what is our fic for today? Sonic: Mario's right, we never found out. Megaman: Hey yeah! Voice of Wily: A Gundam wing, Tenchi Muyo, and Ronin Warriors crossover. Mario: Oh. Duo's Quest for happiness Sonic: Involves Hilde and a bed. Megaman: Sonic! >Stupid disclaimers: We don't own Ronin Warriors, Gundam Wing, Tenchi Muyo, or >even >Sailor Moon! Since we don't own these lovely animes, you wouldn't get much if >you sued, >so don't... Megaman: Don't worry, we won't. Sonic: Mainly because we don't care. >Note: Sorta implied yaoi, just barely... > > > Mario: Hello, fanfic? >(Ronins: Save us!??? Again!???) Mario: Why would they need saving? Sonic: Oh, it's something from when their show was cancelled before. >(Heero: NO! Save me!) Mario (Heero): Save me from the story! >(Relena: What are you taking about? Save me! They're all out to kill me! Sonic: HOORAY! >Then save Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeero!) Sonic: Why does she say his name like that anyway? Mario: Maybe to keeps her lungs in shape? >(WBW: I don't know why I even do these Gundam fics...*sigh*) >(DP: *pokes WBW's head harder with her gun*) Sonic: Well WBW, now you know. Mario: And knowing's half the- Megaman: Don't say it, we'll get sued. Mario: By who? No one knows were up here. Megaman: Oh, good point. >Braid swishing back and forth in perfect rhythm to his happy-go-lucky gait, Duo Megaman: The older brother of Trio. >walked >down the sidewalk aimlessly window shopping. He whistled as he went and then >something >caught his eye. He cried out with glee and ran into the store. >************************ Sonic: Someone gave this fic a twenty-five star review. Megaman: I wonder why? >Somehow...the Ronin Warriors, the Tenchi Muyo people, and the some of the >people from >Gundam, annoying or not, were living in the same HUGE house. Who's house it >was, no >one knew. Sonic: So the gundams are out back then? Megaman (random character): Hey Heero, get out here and move Wing Zero, I can't mow the lawn! >Ryoko (mind you my RW fanfiction readers, not New Gen Ryoko, Tenchi Ryoko) >seemed to >have taken a sudden interest in Ryo and Tenchi was personally thankful for the >rest. Of >course, he still had Aeka bugging him, Mario (narrator): That's when the drug Aeka slipped Ryoko wore off, and she went back to Tenchi. >but one of them was gone and that was enough of >a vacation. Trowa and Kento were playing Pokemon Stadium, Megaman (Trowa): My Tauros will crush your pokemon, Kento. Mario (Kento): We'll see about that, GO, GOLEM!! Megaman (Trowa): Oh crap. >Much to the disgust >Everyone else in the room. The others were just laying around being bored. Mario: That's a change considering that these people fight so much. >Then Duo burst through the door. "GUYS!" he shouted enthusiastically. There was >no >response. "Look what I have!" Eventually Heero looked at him with one of his >patented, Mario: 'I going to kill Relena' looks? Sonic: Oh like Heero would ever do that. Megaman: You know it's weird how no matter when Heero gets a chance to kill her, something stops him. Sonic: Hey yeah. Mario: Some "perfect soldier". Can't even kill the one girl who wanted him to kill her. >'what is it now? I'm planning another suicide attempt,' looks. Much to his >horror, he saw >that Duo's arms were full of small furry animals. Sonic (Duo): This one's called Pikachu, this is Vulpix, the little one is Eevee, and this cat is- Megaman: That's enough. >"What the hell..." he managed to mutter before Quatre screeched with delight. Megaman: Actually, that was Ryo-ohki squealing in pain, tough to tell the difference isn't it? Sonic: Oh that's cold. >"DUO! They're so cuuuuuuuuuuute!" Then the platinum blonde ran over to his >friend and >proceeded to stroke the many fuzzy creatures. Sonic: And was blasted in next year by Pikachu's thunder attack. >Duo smiled. "The white kitten is for you." he said as he picked up a sleepy >little white kitty Sonic: Gatomon? >and handed it to Quatre. Then he went to Trowa Sonic (narrator): Who was now the winner of the match. Mario (Kento): HEY, ROCK TYPES ARE BETTER THAN NORMAL TYPES! HOW DID YOU WIN? Sonic (Trowa): Well, I actually trained my pokemon. Mario (Kento): WHY YOU...I CALL A REMATCH! Sonic (Trowa): If that's what you want than fine. >and handed him a chestnut colored >bunny. Trowa didn't say anything he just looked at the rabbit and it looked >back at him. Mario: The first ever inter-species staring contest. >He shrugged and went back to his game. A wriggling minature doberman pincher >escaped >from Duo's arms and ran to Heero, sniffing his feet curiously. "That little guy >is for you >Heero," Duo said smiling, "I thought the two of you would get along nicely," Sonic: With this being Heero he's talking about that's like saying Zero and Iris have a lasting relationship. Megaman: Who're Zero and Iris? Sonic: Nobody you know. >The puppy >looked up into Heero's cobalt blue eyes and Heero just stared unfeelingly back. Sonic (sarcastic): Well that's new. >"Well?" Duo >asked him, "Aren't you going to say anything?" Megaman (Heero): Okay, "anything". >"Why the hell did you bring these things here?" Heero stepped away quickly as >his little >puppy, in his excitement, started to form a small puddle on Heero's shoes. All: ewww... >Heero, in >irritation, kicked the puppy away. Sonic: Hey! Mario: Quick, call the Humane Society! >"Hey! That's mean!" Duo exclaimed, scooping the doberman back into his arms, >trying to >juggle him with the remaining animals. "Wufei," he nodded to the silently >sneering Chinese Mario: Chauvinistic little- Megaman: Ahem. Mario: Jerk. Megaman: Thank you. >boy, "I got this for you," he handed Wufei an iguana who blinked sleepily. "And >last but >not least I found the absolute cutest little guy sitting all alone in a cage >and I just had to Sonic (Duo): Use the bathroom! >bring him home!" Setting Heero's puppy down he pulled a small mouse-like >creature from >his shirt pocket. "It's a gerbil!" He smiled happily, "I think I'll name him >Happy!" Megaman: That's it, Duo's lost it. Mario: I'll call the asylum. >"And you said I was cruel," Heero muttered. Sonic: Hey, at least Duo doesn't kick his animal away! >"Was that a glint of humor I detected Heero?" Relena nudged him in the ribs. >She took the >puppy from Duo's arms and stroked his soft fur, "I think the puppy's sweet. Sonic (Cartman): Sweet. Mario (Stan): Dude that kicks ass! >What are you >going to name it?" Megaman: Geez, you'd think that Wily would've edited this so the lines weren't broken up. >"How about Fluffy?" Quatre suggested. Heero stared at him as he held up the >doberman. Mario: A doberman named 'Fluffy'? Megaman: Both Duo and Quatre have lost it in this fic. Sonic: What's the number for that asylum Mario? Mario: Zero six five nuts. The e-mail address is: nutcase@paddedcell.com. Megaman: There's an e-mail address for the asylum? Mario: You get faster service if you use e-mail. Megaman: Oh. >"Does this look 'fluffy' to you?" he demanded. Sonic (Quatre): Well, considering what it did, it looks more like 'wet' to me. >"It was just a suggestion," Quatre sounded wounded. Mario (Heero): Well it was a crappy suggestion. >"Hey!" Ryo spoke up, trying to break away from Ryoko, "How come we don't get >pets?" Mario: Ryo, you already have a pet. Sonic: Yeah, don't be greedy. >"Yeah!" Ryoko added, "You're so mean! Only thinking about your precious pilot >friends. I >could blow you up you know!" Sonic (Duo): Could you just blow me instead? Megaman: Sonic! Mario (thinking): That was REALLY out of the blue, and I don't mean Sonic. >"And what about me?" Zechs almost sounded angry. >"I'm sorry!" Duo shrank away, "I only have so much money, I can't buy things >for 15 >people!" Mario: Yet he had enough cash to pay Howard for repairs to his gundam in the first episodes of his show. Megaman: I still can't figure out how he got the money. >"Why buy when you can just take?" Ryoko yawned, "I expected more from you, >being the >God of Death and all." Sonic (Duo): I may be the "God of death", but I'm no thief. I lead an honest life. >"I was buying animals, not killing them!" Duo protested. Megaman (Wufei): Yeah, killing animals or more precisely puppies is Heero's specialty. Sonic: Ya had to bring that Endless Waltz plot point in to this didn't you? Mario: I wonder how Kento and Trowa are doing? >"Can you PLEASE be quiet?" Kento complained, pausing the game, "I need to >concentrate!" Sonic (Kento): The boss on world 1-4 is tough! Mario: Oh, well speak of the devil. >The Pokemon match was in full swing, Trowa was kicking his ass with a Mewtwo or >something, he wasn't quite sure. That's Kento for ya... Mario: Hey, Kento's smarter then that. Sonic: Yeah. >The whinny Ryoko and Ryo shut up and grumbled. Sonic: Does that sentence mean both of them are whinny or just one? Megaman: I'm sure Ryo was called whinny by that sentence. Mario: Since when is Ryo whinny? Megaman: Well, he was a bit whinny about using the white armor for a while. Mario: Hmm... well, I'll give you that. >************************ Mario: Is this one of those graphs where they use people shaped icons to represent a group of people? >The next day... Megaman: Tenchi woke up and found out it was just a dream. Others: I wish. >"Where's White Blaze?" Ryo asked. Rowen grumbled at him from the couch and >Trowa and >Heero just gave him death glares. "So? No one knows..." Sonic (singing): No body knows the trouble I see... >"FLUFFY! FLUFFY!" Quatre ran around calling. >"The damn dog's name isn't Fluffy, Quatre. It's...I dunno..." Sonic (Quatre): Oh, okay then, I DUNNO! Megaman: That's a cheap shot. >Quatre pouted. "Since you wouldn't name your puppy Fluffy, that's what I named >my >kitty. Now I can't find her! FLUFFY!" >"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrroooooooooo!" Relena called from the kitchen, "Breakfast is >ready." Sonic (Heero): I can hear you just fine Relena. There's no need for you to yell across a distance of ten feet at the top of your lungs. Mario (Relena): What do you mean? Sonic (Heero): What I mean is SHUT UP! >"I hope Cye cooked it, I'm not eating any of Relena's experiments..." Zechs >muttered. Sonic (Zechs): After I tried her meatloaf, I couldn't see straight for a week. >"Milliardo!" (Everyone pauses and stares at the screen.) Megaman: ...Did she reply to her brother or Sonic's riff? >They all shrugged and went into the kitchen, leaving Quatre to call for Fluffy. >Aeka sniffed Sonic (Aeka): Whew, what is that smell? Did someone just rip one something fierce or did someone just slaughter a cow in here? >suspiciously at the food as it was set down in front of her. >"Thank you Sasami," she said politely, "What exactly is this?" Mario (Sasami): Just some stuff that had skull and crossbone labels on it. >"Just assorted stuff I found around," Sasami shrugged, "Cye helped me. He's >pretty good." Megaman: Assorted stuff? Sonic: Sure, you know, stuff like lint, cookie crumbs, the loose change stuck between couch cushions, and who knows what else. >"Did Relena help?" Heero asked, eyeing the bowl of stuff that had been set >before him. >"No!" Cye exclaimed, "She'd just mess it up!" Mario (Cye/Actionman): Check it out, dial it in, mess it up. Megaman (muttering): "Greatest hero of them all" my butt. >"I would not!" Relena objected. Sonic: Sure you would, just like everything else you're involved in. Megaman: Though at times that was a good thing. Sonic: Can you give me an example? Megaman: She caused Romefeller to turn good and brought world peace. Sonic: Oh yeah... good point. >"Would so!" >"Would not!" This resulted in a 5 minute yelling match that involved everyone >at the table. Megaman (Ryo): I got twenty bucks that says Cye decides to armor up and blasts her! Sonic (Zechs): What makes you so sure? Mario (Cye): SUPER WAVE SMASHER! Megaman (Relena): AHHHHH!!!! Sonic (Zechs): Oh, shoot. Megaman (Ryo): Pay up loser. >Duo was about to catapult some food in Relena's general direction when Trowa >stood up. Megaman (Trowa): I just remembered I had to do something that would get me out of this fic. Mario (Kento): What?! Before our second rematch?! Megaman (Trowa): Yes. Mario (Kento): And your doing just what exactly? Megaman (Trowa): I'm not saying anything about it. Mario (Kento): But doesn't the fact that you remembered and told us about it indicates that in actuality you did say something about it and therefore contradicts your previous statement in which you weren't saying anything about it? Megaman (Trowa): ...All right, who gave Kento a thesaurus? >"SHUT UP!" he cried, "I'm hungry and you're all giving me a headache. Please, >let's just eat >in peace." Everyone silenced, Duo's food dripping from his spoon into his lap. >Trowa, had >spoken, and all must obey when Trowa speaks. Those who were standing, or >levitating in >Ryoko's case, sat down again meekly. "Thank you," Trowa sat down and proceeded >to eat >as if nothing had happened. Megaman: Actually, Trowa talking is something. >"What did you ever name your dog?" Sasami asked Heero to break the tense >silence. Mario (Heero): I named him "annoying son of a bitch". Megaman: I'll let that pass since you were talking about the puppy. >"I dunno," Heero shrugged, "What do you think?" Mario (Sasami): I don't think "I dunno" is a good name. >"I thought Fluffy was a sweet name," Sasami said. Quatre smirked, giving Heero >a knowing >'see? I told ya so!' look. Sonic: Quatre's being smug. Megaman: Well that's just weird for Quatre. >"Under no circumstances will I ever name anything of mine fluffy," Heero said. >Duo looked >around. >"Hey, thinking of mystery puppy, where did all the pets go?" he asked. He >looked under >the table as all the girls squeaked and Aeka smacked his arm causing him to >crack his >head on the bottom of the table in surprise. Megaman: So Duo dies of a head injury in this? Sonic: Quite the humiliating demise for a gundam pilot. >"Sorry!" he said, rubbing the top of his head gingerly, "I was just looking for >the pets!" >"Yeah," Quatre craned his neck to see, "Where DID they go?" Megaman: They fled in terror of the fic. >"I dunno," Heero muttered. >."That was a rhetori--" Quatre's sentence was cut off as the doberman came >bounding into >the room and jumped into Heero's lap. He looked down at the small creature >enthusiastically knowing on his knuckles. Mario: "Knowing" on his knuckles? Sonic: Typo Mario, typo. Mario: Oh. >"Well, whadda know," Ryoko said, floating into the air and leaning back, her >head resting >on her arms, "I guess he thinks his name is 'I dunno.'" The puppy looked up at >her >expectantly and everyone smiled, except Relena. Sonic: Hoo boy. Megaman: Here we go. Mario: Peacecraft speech? Others: Yep. >"That's mean," she whined, "A puppy should have a real name, not 'I dunno.' >It's not fair >to him and..." All: SHUT UP! >"Are you questioning me?" Heero asked her, his hand going to his ever present >gun at his >waist. Sonic: Thank goodness the author said "gun" because- Megaman: Quiet. >"Heero, calm down," Zechs continued to stuff his face. Heero's gaze shifted to >the hungry >Zechs. >"You wanna go?" the young pilot challenged. >"Now? Actually, for some odd reason, no." Sonic: What the h--- was that? Megaman: Sonic, since when could you censor your words like that? Sonic: Since I was a kid. A friend taught me. Mario: You have the weirdest friends. >"Me neither..." >Food was again dropped along with jaws. Megaman: You mean the shark? Mario: >"What did you put in this again, Cye?" Sage asked as he recovered. >"Nothing unusual..." Megaman (Cye): Just Windex, floor wax, and stuff with the skull and crossbones label. Oh and the assorted stuff Sasami used. >Mass shrug yet again. >************************ Mario: This graph just isn't informative. >"You know..." Ryo complained, "We really SHOULD start looking for the pets. I Megaman: Wait, they just now decided to look for the pets? >mean if >someone sees White Blaze running around they might get a bit freaked out..." Mario: Ryo, you caused mass hysteria when you and Blaze went to town at the start of your show, so it's a good chance someone will be more then a bit freaked out. >"Yeah! I want my Fluffy back!" Quatre agreed. >"How am I supposed to sleep with all this complaining?!" Rowen inquired tiredly >from the >couch. Mario: Fly far away using you armor. Sonic: And while flying away to get a nap, escape the fic. >"Yeah, I'm shipless without Ryo-Ohki around..." Ryoko muttered. Sonic: Unless you were the Ryoko from Tenchi in Tokyo. >"Shouldn't we go do something about this?" Relena asked Heero. Mario: She's smart enough to make up a dignified speech, but too stupid to figure out a solution to a domestic crisis on her own? Sonic: That's our Relena. >"I dunno..." The dog came running and yapped at his feet, "I've got my annoying >furry >creature, why should I care?" Megaman (Quatre): 'Cause if you don't, you're stuck with Relena. Sonic (Heero/quickly): Okay I'm ready! C'mon we can't those pets wander can we? >"I MISS HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!" All:... >Everyone, "Happy?! NANI?!" Mario: ...Yeah, I was gonna say that. Sonic: Was that line in text format or something? >Duo sniffed. "My gerbil..." >Tenchi sighed. "All right! Let's just go look for them!" Sonic: Finally! Someone in this fic with a brainstem! Mario: You do realize you dissed the characters you like right? Sonic: I dissed < realizes what he did > AW D---! Megaman: Sonic, don't swear even if you can censor the words somehow! >The group broke from the breakfast table, leaving Sasami and Cye to clean >dishes, Mihoshi Sonic (narrator): To try and help, but screw up royally. >and Keyone to search together, Tenchi and Aeka (on Aeka's request of course), >Ryoko >and Ryo Sonic: At this point, I would like to say that Ryo and Kayura would make a great couple in my opinion. I just don't see why the fans can right a Kayura/Anubis romance or a Mia/Anubis romance or whatever and be so unwilling to try a Kayura/Ryo romance. Ryo was mesmerized by Kayura's beauty at the first time they met and Kayura wanted Ryo to give in to the Neither spirits so as to not prolong his suffering when the spirits tried to possess him and the white armor of Inferno. >(upon Ryoko's death threat if otherwise paired), Relena and a reluctant >Heero, >Sage and Kento, Trowa, Quatre and a sobbing Duo, Wufei refused to take part and Megaman: Smart kid that Wufei. Sonic: I can't see Ryo being pushed around like that. I mean, Ryo would mop the floor with Ryoko if she pulled something like that. Megaman: What makes you so sure? Ryoko can pass through solid matter, fly, shoot energy blasts, and does who knows what else. Sonic: Ryo's friends can help him by giving him their powers and thusly the white armor. Ryoko wouldn't be able to do much then. Megaman: Oh. >Rowen >had fallen back asleep on the couch. Washu had not yet made an appearance this >morning and was probably down in her new lab. Zechs decided to stay at the Mario (narrator): Stripper club. >table and >plot new ways to get rid of Relena. He had made a mistake when he didn't kill >her in the >first place. All: 0_0 Mario: I thought Zechs cared for Relena. Megaman: Well yeah he does, he didn't give the order to blast her with Libra's weapons when she approached Libra. >************************ Sonic: Let's try another joke for this shall we? Mario: Such as? Megaman: How about: "OZ decided to surrender to the gundams in advance so they just lined up their Leos like in a shooting gallery?" Sonic: That'll work. >"Heeeeeeeeeerrrrrrooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!" Relena exclaimed as they wandered >outside to >the driveway, "Isn't that Trowa's rabbit?" >"No, that's a raccoon," Heero stated. Megaman (Heero): And would you shut up? I can hear you just fine out here. >"Can we keep it?" Relena moved to pick it up. Mario: What?! No you can't keep it! It could have who knows how many diseases! >"It's dead." >"How do you know?" Mario (Heero): Well, it isn't moving or breathing, that and the fact- >"I killed it." Megaman: Way to use a riff to add to the dialogue Mario. Sonic: What is it with Heero and his cruelty to animals? Megaman: The whole girl and her puppy incident affected him in more ways than one. Sonic: Would you stop with the Endless Waltz refs! >"HEERO! Why?" >"It was in my way. I will eliminate all obstacles." >Relena looked at him in disgust, "A raccoon is NOT an obstacle." Megaman (Relena): It's a mammal. >"Says who?" >"Says me!" >"Why?" >************************ Megaman: OZ shooting gallery number 2. >Quatre had managed to calm Duo down to think coherently. Megaman: What does that mean? >"Happy," he sniffled, "Happy, Happy." Mario (Duo): Joy < sniffled > Joy, Joy. >"Duo," Trowa pleaded, "Shut up." Mario: Hey! You weird haired freak! Sonic: Not you, the Duo in the fic. >"Sorry, I'm just lost without Happy..." >"I mean it." >"Sorry. Hey!" Duo spied something white a fuzzy in a corner, "Is that Fluffy?" >"Fluffy?" Quatre's eyes lit up, "Fluffy! Come to papa!" The small kitten came >padding over >on silent feet, a squirming Happy in it's mouth. Mario: Well if one pet brought another then Fluffy killed two birds with one stone so to speak. Sonic: The same is almost true for the gerbil it seems. >"HAPPY!" Duo cried, jumping on top of the kitten. "Let go of my Happy! You hear >me?! >Unhand him!" Megaman (Duo): Unhand you cad! >"You squished Fluffy!" Quatre's anguished cry rang throughout the house, >bringing >everyone in the house to the room. Quatre jumped on top of Duo, trying to get >him off >Fluffy. Sonic: But his weight and Duo's squished the poor cat. >"He squished Duo," Ryoko commented detachedly. She paused, "Does anyone care?" All: Nope. >"Doesn't appear that way, does it?" Aeka concealed a smile as they watched the >struggling pilots. Sonic: Looks like someone's liking this. Megaman: Well that's nice, too bad it's not us. >"FLUFFY!" Sonic: Chocolate! >"HAPPY!" Mario: Joy! >"FLUFFY!" Sonic: Nougat! >"LET GO OF MY GERBIL!" >"GET OFF MY KITTY!!!" >************************ Mario: If the U.S.A. had divided again like in pre-Civil War times. >Heero and Relena were still outside, unaware of the chaos indoors. Mario: Lucky them. >"Isn't that--" >"No." Heero said irritably, "That's still the same raccoon." Sonic: All that and they haven't left the driveway yet? >"I could have sworn--" >"It didn't move, really." >"How do you know?" Relena demanded. >"Because I killed it," Heero sighed. Megaman: They're still talking about the raccoon? >"Why!?" Sonic: He told you before, you idiot! >"Didn't we already go through this?" All: YES! >"Yes, but I want to know why!" Relena whined. Mario (Heero): We went through it before because you asked me why I did it. >"I told you, it was in my way." >"It might have moved!" Relena objected. Sonic: One of the first smart things she's said yet in this fic. >"But not quickly enough," Heero kicked the furry corpse off the driveway. Megaman: Okay now those two are getting somewhere. Sonic: Unlike their relationship in the series. Mario: They had a relationship? >"You're cruel!" Relena complained. >"You just noticed?" >"No, but I thought--" >"Thought? You?" All: < snickering > >"You're mean too." Sonic: She must be out of it in this fic, she can't talk right. >************************ Megaman: OZ shootin' gallery 3. >After getting tired of watching the fight, Ryoko had decided to end it and >bodily pulled the >furious Quatre off the screaming Duo. >"You," she pointed at Quatre, "Are a wimp, and you," she pointed at Duo, >"scream like a >girl. That's upsetting to the little children, stop it." Duo stopped screaming, >scooped >Happy up and placed him in his pocket once again, and stalked away. A loud >snore from >the adjoing room echoed through the house. Mario: Mia finally makes her presence known. >"Is he STILL asleep?" Kento complained. Mario: Oh. >"No, he's practicing snoring," Sage retorted. Sonic (Sage): That or he's doing his foghorn impersonation. >"Actually, a nap doesn't sound like a bad idea," Quatre commented, "This has >been >stressful, on all of us. Let's go take a community nap!" Sonic: Wha-huh? >"A what?!?" Ryo exclaimed, "I'll go back to my own room if you don't mind." Megaman: Smart kid. >"Suit yourself," Quatre shrugged, picked up Fluffy, and headed for the room >where Rowen >was in blissful, but loud, slumber. Mario: Okay, I just got an odd mental image. >************************ Megaman: The Leos in the shooting gallery are doing the YMCA. Sonic: What? Mario: You just have to use a little imagination on things like this. >While the others slept, Heero silently crept into Zechs' room, his mind under >the influence >of Dusted Pyxie's evil thoughts. Zechs was equally possessed by WBW. Megaman: Uh oh. Mario (Bob): This is bad... very bad! >"How are we going to do this?" Heero asked. >"In the most disgraceful way possible. I can't stand her for a sister and even >the merciless >author is sympathizing with me!" Megaman: Isn't that breaking the fourth wall? Mario: You know the author hates a character when he or she breaks the fourth wall to kill her. Sonic: Well I know that no matter what we say or do, we'll never break the fourth wall. Megaman: Well now we know why you painted numbers on the walls last week. >"And what way would that be?" Megaman: Kill her with a Metool! Those are the weakest drones of all! Mario: No, use a Goomba! Sonic: No, use anything Robotnik's ever built! Voice of Robotnik (angry): I HEARD THAT SONIC! Sonic: Bite me, blubberbutt! >Zechs grinned evilly. >************************ Megaman: OZ has given Leo shooting galleries to gundams zero one through zero five. Mario: What about Wing Zero and Epyon? Megaman: They have mobile doll shooting galleries. Mario: Oh. Sonic: Hey, wasn't Sailor Moon mentioned in the disclaimer? Megaman: Hey you're right. Mario: I wonder why we haven't seen Sailor Moon yet? >Relena woke up from her nap before everyone else. Heero and Zechs stood >watching her, >and in front of them was a little girl with pink hair in a ridiculous pink >sailor outfit. Mario: Here's the reason for Sailor moon in the disclaimer. Sonic: Now the authors are throwing characters in at random now. >"Huh?" Sonic: I said: Now the authors are thr- Megaman (interrupting): We heard you the first time. >"In the name of the future moon I shall punish you, Relena Peacecraft! You're >even more >annoying than me and Yuli combined!" Sailor Mini-moon shouted and then she >tapped >Relena on the head with her little wand thingy. Megaman: Which jump-started her attack. Mario: Which actually worked right. Sonic: For once. >Relena died with a long painful moan. All: Close enough. >Heero and Zechs, the unemotional ones, both grinned broadly and gave each other >high >fives. Sonic: o/~ Hail, Hail the witch is dead! Which old witch the w- Megaman: We get the point Sonic. >END! Mario (Homer): WOOHOO! Megaman: All right! Sonic: Score one for the good guys! >The purpose of the story: Kill Relena and bash all hated characters. Sonic: Which the author did in an odd sort of way. >The moral of the story: Don't buy your friends unwanted pets, or the stupid >queen of your >world might just die by the hand of the most pathetic Sailor Scout. Sonic: I thought the most pathetic scout was Sailor Moon herself. Megaman: Well, if you go into emotional maturity then your right. Mario (defensively): Hey, she has her moments. Sonic: Yeah, at the end of each season. Megaman: Then in the next one she's a ditz again. >The theme of all fanfics written by, or with Dusted Pyxie: Kill/bash Relena. >The unknown theme behind all of WBW's fanfics: Kill Relena and bash all. Sonic: WBW is a real Relena fan! >-White Blaze Wannabe >^.^< and Dusted Pyxie- Megaman: That's it! Lets get outta here! (Everyone leaves.) (Door sequence. On the bridge, Megaman is looking up at the ceiling. Sonic and Mario are off screen.) Megaman: Sonic, Mario, what are you two doing? Mario: What does it look like to you? (A gun goes off and a plate is shattered.) Sonic: Good shot Mario! Mario: Thanks. Megaman: It looks like you're skeet shooting while doing a trapeze act. Sonic: Well, you just answered your question. Megaman (confused): Okay...why? Mario: Sonic was wondering why people mix characters and ideas around to make crossover fics. Megaman: Uh huh. Go on. (Another gunshot and another plate shattered.) Mario: Good aim! Sonic: Thanks. Well, since Wily's wired the computers so we can't write fanfics ourselves due to the fact that if one of us gets something posted it might get sent to us, Mario thought I should do odd combinations of things to try to help me understand. Megaman: Okay and just how did Mario convince you to do what you're doing now? (Long pause. The guns have stopped during this time.) Mario: Uh...Hey, didn't Wily say he was working on his masterpiece when he met Bowser? Megaman: Hey yeah. I wonder what it is? (red Mads light flashes.) Sonic: Maybe we'll find out. (Megaman hits the light.) (S.F. Robotnik answers.) Robotnik: So, how was the fic? Are you ready to beg to be freed and become our slaves? (SOW. Sonic and Mario are back on the floor.) Sonic: Well to answer the last question, no. As far as the fic goes, it reminded me that the annoying sidekicks in anime are actually a big help to the lead characters, but they just don't help out like that very often. Megaman: So, how are things down there? (SOW) Robotnik: Well, Wily is busy with his masterpiece so I'm running things down here. Wily (off screen): BASS, WHERE'S THAT KEY PART? Bass (off screen): You mean that blonde ponytail? (SOW. Megaman has a look of confusion and disappointment on his face.) Megaman: Okay, I'm not so interested anymore. Mario: You think we'll survive long enough to escape? Megaman: I've been though worse. I wonder what Wily's masterpiece is? Mario: Maybe the others know something. < Looks at camera > Well, you guys know something about it? (Skull Fort. Bowser and Robotnik look over towards Wily.) Robotnik: I don't know you guys. Wily never told us. Wily (off screen/happy): There, I'll just start the initial power feed and I can try you out. (The other villains sweat drop.) Bowser: You know, I'm starting to doubt this guy. Robotnik: Yeah, me too. Bowser: Ya know, his robots will listen to us, so if we kill him, then we'll get more territory when we rule the world. Robotnik: Yes that is true. (Gutsman walks on screen.) Gutsman: Make fun of Dr. Wily or try to kill him and I'll tear you apart. Others (scared/meekly): Okay. (Fade to black) This MiST is based on Mystery Science Theater 3000, which was created by Joel Hodgson. The permission to work on this fanfic was given to me by the author. Well, that's my first MiST. Sorry if that first host segment was long, but I wanted to set the ground rules right off the bat. Character descriptions NOTE: I am NOT using the Archie Comics version of Sonic and Robotnik. I am using the anime versions from Sonic the Hedgehog: the movie. Megaman: Weapon: Megabuster: Standard plasma cannon. Chargeable to three levels. A robot with a sense of justice and all around nice guy Megaman is a fan of various animes that feature giant robots like Gundam or Voltron, Megaman holds the ship together as a captain of sorts. There's no chain of command on the SOW so getting the others to listen maybe a problem at times, especially with Sonic who's had some not too positive encounters with robots. Megaman has encouraged the others to share their likes and dislikes, which caused the three to have varied knowledge about various animes, songs, and other things. Mario: Weapon: None, but knows how to beat people with a pipe wrench. Since he was sucked in the Mushroom World in the early eighties, Mario has a lot of catching up to do. A plumber by trade, Mario is basically is the entire maintenance staff of the whole SOW. (At times it was a pain in the butt). He's a fan of animes where humans have special powers like the three Tenchi animes or Guyver. Mario is a good friend of Sonic's since the two realized that they're not owned by anyone, unlike the fictional versions of themselves they've seen in comics and video games. Mario is a nice guy, but not it the morning. Sonic: Weapon: Super speed and Super Sonic powers. The fastest member of the crew, Sonic can be counted on to be of help the others quite easily, even if their on opposite ends of the ship. Sonic is a bit uneasy around Megaman since Sonic has treated battle bots like Robotnik's as enemies, not friends. Megaman thinks this behavior stems from Sonic's battle with Hyper Metal Sonic. Sonic is a fan of the various monster animes like Pokemon, Digimon, Monster Rancher, & all the others. Of course, Sonic knows that though Megaman is a combat robot, he is learning that Megaman is not like the robots Robotnik has sent at him. Sonic has also talked Mario into not telling Megaman about the Megaman X series because Megaman would than worry if Dr. Light will last long enough to build X and wouldn't be much help with escape attempts. Dr. Wily: Weapon: An army of advanced robot masters and assorted drones. The villain who supplied everything for the experiment, Wily is eager to see the day when Megaman is destroyed. Like Dr. Light, Wily is a brilliant robotics engineer. Unlike Dr. Light, Wily is evil to the core. Unlike Megaman, Wily knows about the MMX games and is working to upgrade his masterpiece Zero into his MMX2 form. Dr. Robotnik: Weapon: A robot army second only to Wily's. The supplier of transportation for everyone in Skull Fortress, Robotnik is the second in command. Robotnik is evil as well. Though he doesn't care if he has to cause genocide to rule the world, Robotnik would rather use Sonic to kill Tails, Knuckles, & all of Sonic's friends for sheer irony than causing genocide. Bowser: Weapon: Army made of every soldier or attacker seen on the NES games. The most simpleminded villain of the three, Bowser is the one who Picks up various things like donuts, soda, and on occasion a fanfic for the others. Despite the fact that Bowser is evil, over the year that Megaman, Mario, and Sonic spent studying, Bowser became a friend of Sonic. Their friendship isn't the greatest, but hey, it's something. Bowser is also the strongest villain (though much weaker than Gutsman), being able to rip a steel girder out of a wall then swing the girder like a baseball bat. Theme: In the somewhat distant future, Year 20 double X, The evil Dr. Wily Was going to turn three heroes into wrecks. He caught his enemy Megaman, Now here's the Doctor's evil plan: Send the robot up into space, And once his will is broken his to conquer the human race! Megaman: I should've killed him when I had the chance. Wily (singing): I'll send him cheesy fanfics! The worst I can find! (la la la) He'll have to sit and watch them all and I'll monitor his mind! (la la la) Now keep in mind Rock can't control, Where the fanfics begin or end. But because two other villains wanted in, Megaman has two new friends. HERO ROLL CALL: Metcam (I'm just a Metool with a camera.) Snakey (Just a snake bot from the third war.) Mario (Why are they in the roll call?) Soniiiiiiiic! (They had to be somewhere Mario.) If you're wondering how they eat and breathe And all those other scientific facts, Just remember its like MST3K, You should really just relax! For Mystery Hero Theater 20xx! Okay here's the stinger, I couldn't think of something to use from the fic, So I used something from Mario's description for the stinger. Stinger: None, but knows how to beat people with a pipe wrench. Okay, NOW the MiST is officially over.