MYSTERY SCEINCE THEATER 3333 1/3 BY TUXEDO ALEX TODAY'S EXPERIMENT: EVIL GUY FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION (PT. 3) BY JUPITER KNIGHT But before we go on, here are some: Disclaimers: Mystery Science Theater 3000 is copyrighted by Best Brains Inc. Sailor Moon is copyrighted by Naoko Takeuchi and all her distributors, including DIC. "Evil Guy From Another Dimension" belongs to Jupiter Knight and he's welcome to it. I take no responsibility for his work. However, I would like to say that this MST of his work is no discredit to the author himself; just the fanfic. So please Jupiter Knight, if you're out there, don't take this as an insult. This was all done with fun in mind. I don't want my mailbox to be assaulted by flames! Gee, are we getting a little redundant? :-) @@@@@ (6) (5) (4) (3) (2) (1) BACK IN THE THEATER (Joel and the Bots take their seats.) Tom: Five parts now! I just don't believe it! Five parts! Joel: Tom, no matter how many parts there are to this trash, we'll make it out alive. We always will. (Dr. F.'s voice comes over the P.A. system.) Dr. F.: Good news, boys! You no longer have to view five parts of the story! Crow: All right! that is some good news! Dr. F.: You have to view six! Ta-ta! (The P.A. cuts off.) Tom: ....."Gee, Tom, no matter how many parts there are, we'll get through it!" Bite me, Robinson! Joel: Dang, sorry! Just remember we got a mission after this. > Tom: And to think, Jupiter Knight wrote such other beautiful fanfics like Sailor Moon Clones, and BSSMK to resort to this trash! Crow: Yeah, those were the better stories! Couldn't get enough of them....is that enough free plugging, Joel? Joel: Have you even read Jupiter Knight's other works? Crow: Ummmmm......no. >------------------------------------------------------------------------ Tom: Flat line? Damn! Nothing could have saved this fanfic! >Sailor Moon: The Evil Guy From Another Dimension Joel: Kenneth Star? Crow: Newt Gingrich? Tom: Oscar? Joel: That would be "Evil Hermaphrodite From Another Dimension". Tom: Good point. >By Jay Dee Archer (Jupiter Knight) Tom: Let me take this time to say that booze is not your friend. Don't make the same mistake Jupiter Knight did. Thank you. >Part 3 - Hortense bites the dust! All (singing): Bum...bum...bum...another one bites the dust! >The real Evil Guy gets a name! Crow: So there's an EVIL guy, and a REAL EVIL guy! Joel: Ten to one the real evil guy is Jupiter Knight doing a self insertion. >------------------------------------------------------------------------ Tom (Random Doctor): I'm sorry, Jupiter Knight, but....the fanfic's dead. Crow (Jupiter Knight): Hic! Well, ain't dat shwell! Hic! >Last time on SM: EGFAD: Crow: Sailor Moon's Evil Girlfriend Florence's Abundant Dimension? Joel:....I'm not going anywhere NEAR that one! >Hortense was at it again. Tom: That little rascal... >Reeny returned from the future Joel: You mean the flamingo? >and Sailor Red defeated Hortense with her horrendous accent. Tom: I'm still trying to figure out how we predicted that! >And now, the continuation: All: NO! PLEASE! >. . . . . Joel: The fanfic's stalling! All: Yay! >I said, and now, the continuation: Joel: And we said, NO! PLEASE! >Serena paced around her bedroom, wearing a groove in the floor. Tom: ....thus creating hole in her floor, leading to the living room, and she fell in, the end. Crow: Hey, you stole my dark line! Tom: Hey, I can't stand this anymore than you can! >"Why did that spore have to come back?" she asked. Crow (Serena): And to think my syphilis was gone... Joel: Crow! >"Serena, you're being hard on the girl," Crow: ....There's a mother-daughter joke here, but it's way too gross, even for me! >said Luna. "She's your daughter. Joel (Luna): Have you told Darien he's the father yet? Tom: You haven't been watching too much Sailor Moon lately, have you Robinson? Crow: Otaku! Tom: It's Fanboy, you.....hey, SHUT UP! >I don't think Darien would want to commit incest." Joel: No Chibi-usa's 7th Birthday flashbacks! >"You're right, Luna. Why am I worried?" Crow (Serena): Because I'm in a poorly written fanfic and the author's drunk? >* * * * * Tom: Fanfic's out! Snow day! >"Hortense!" exclaimed the unseen man with the horrifying voice. Bots: MOLLY! NOOOOOOOO! Joel: Hey, Jupiter Knight said "man" this time. Crow: Molly's Dad? Bots: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! >"Yeth, mathter," said Igor. Tom: Wha.... Crow: So this is now an SM / Ranma 1/2 / Frankenstein crossover? >"I asked for Hortense, not you, you idiot." Joel: Hmmmm, apparently Jupiter Knight is a little more sober, now. He recognized he brought in the wrong character. Tom: But that problem could have been easily been fixed with the Backspace key. >"Tho thorry, mathter." Crow (Igor): Tho thorry I brung the wrong thex toyth... Joel: Crow... >Hortense walked into the room, quite gracefully and with a bit of a sexy swagger. All: (grimace in pain) Tom: Thanks, JK, for that wonderful image burned into my retina for all eternity! ....can't ....stop ...thinking OF IT!!!! (Tom's head explodes, showering Pez everywhere.) Joel: Hey, it's not gumballs! Crow: Here's an obscure reference for ya. (Ahem) It's Uncle Fez, the Pez Dispenser! Joel: Can it, Crow, and hand me a new head. Crow: It's not my fault no one had Twisted for the 3DO! >"You called?" Hortense asked. Crow (Lurch): You rang? >"Yes, Hortense. As the real evil guy from another dimension, I have to ask why you're impersonating me," Tom: (With new head) REAL evil guy? So Hortense is just some dumb old evil guy compared to the rest of them? Joel: Don't overheat your new head, Tom. >said the man shrouded in the mysterious shadow, his eyes glowing a soft, but blinding white. Joel (blinded): Can't....see.... Crow: And that's a bad thing? >"I would, but could you turn the headlights off? They're blinding me." Tom: Yeah, real evil guy! Turn of your breasts! Joel: Tom... >"Oh, sorry." The eyes, er.. headlights were turned off Joel: Can....see.... >and the once mysterious guy shrouded in the shadow was now revealed to be just some evil looking guy >from another dimension. In fact, you could say he was four dimensional. Hard to imagine, huh? Crow: Well, at least there's ONE thing about the story we can't visualize. >"As I was saying, it's part of my plan. If I die, they'll think the enemy has died and they'll go on about >their idiotic lives thinking they averted the destruction of Earth once again. But we all know that the >Earth will be destroyed in 5 billion years when the sun swells into a red giant and obliterates the Earth's >oceans, as well as killing all life on Earth. In fact, current estimates are that the energy output of the sun >will grow to levels in which life will cease to exist on this sorry ball of rock in about 100 million years. >By that time, I doubt the Sailor Senshi will be able to stop the life cycle of a star, let alone be alive after >100 million years," said Hortense, in approximately five seconds. Joel: ZZZZZZZZZZZ...(wakes up) Oh, the paragraph's over? Crow: (Pant....pant) Man, that was had to follow. Tom (speed-talking): Iwannagetouttaherenow!Letmeouttahere!Lemmeout! >"Did you say Senshi?" asked the evil guy. Joel: Don't ask me, I was asleep. >"Senshi? Did I say that? Damn. It looks like DiC made one of their famous flubs again. Crow: Yeah, what a bucha DiCs! Joel: Crow... >Oh well. The Sailor SCOUTS will not be able to stop the life cycle of a star, let alone be alive after 100 >million years," said Hortense. Tom: Ah, Evil Guy, what knowledge of pseudo-science you have! >"You said that," said the evil guy, who really needs a name at this point in the story. Joel: Pat McGroin? Tom: Private Parts? Crow: Seaman White? Joel: Ivana Tinkle? Crow: Al Coholic? Tom: Oliver Clothesoff? >"Ah, yes I did, sorry Evil Guy," said Hortense, revealing the evil guy's name. Joel: Man, we were WAY off! >"If you fail this time, I will predictably kill you, if you haven't already been killed, and replace you with >an equally incompetent dolt. Crow: Ah, the English dubbed episodes of SM...gotta hate 'em! >Do you understand what I'm saying?" >"Yes, I do." All (Hortense): Duuhhhhhhhhhhh....nope, nope, nope...... >* * * * * Tom: Hey, maybe this is acid snow, and, and , and, it'll burn the fanfic, and, and , and... Crow: Not bloody likely! >Amy sat on the Worf by the really sick bay, collecting Data. Joel: (Hold's his head) Oh, no... Crow: Now it's a SM / Ranma / Frankenstein / Star Trek crossover! >She really had some Bones to Picard with that man at the Gates McFadden. He turned away the girl, >Kelley, she met in DeForest on the way to the Worf. She thought about using a Trojan cond..horse! Tom: This is Jupiter Knight trying to be whitty...DON'T BE LIKE JUPITER KNIGHT! PLEASE! Joel: Stay frosty, Tom. Crow (Bones): The fanfic's dead, Jim. >A Trojan Horse like they did when getting into Troi to get Kelley from DeForest through the Gates >McFadden to the Worf by the sick bay. His name was Wesley. A Crusher would have been nice at the >time. But anyway, Amy was there to collect some Data. It seems that a dimensional rip Crow (stoned): Woah, dude, what a fart! Joel: Crow.... >had appeared at this location. Maybe it was a clue to Hortense's motives. Tom: But it wasn't, so they Scouts quit. The end. I'm done! Joel: Not yet, Tom. >* * * * * Bots: BIRD TURD THE FANFIC BIRD TURD THE FANFIC! Joel: Guys! >"So, what do you want to do today?" asked Michelle. >"I dunno," said Alex. Tom: Welcome to the Redundant City of Redundancy that welcomes you. Joel: Man, Tuxedo Alex is being forced into some pretty dumb roles as of late... Magic Voice: FOURTH WALL ALERT! FOURTH WALL ALERT! (Alarms sound) Crow: Aw, for cryin' out loud! Tom: We thought you disconnected them! Crow: That was your job, Servo! Joel: Fine, I apologize! (Alarms stop) Joel: Just remember the plan when we get out of the theater, guys. Bots: Right. >Unexpectedly, Michelle opened the door to the bathroom and was surprised by the horrendous sight. Crow: Hotaru! Are you masterbating again? Joel: CROW! >"Oooohhhh, my goddess All: It's Megami-sama! >sits here!" said Kintaro as he hugged and caressed the toilet. Crow: Kintaro? Joel: It's a SM / Ranma / Frankenstein / Star Trek / Mortal Kombat crossover, now? Tom: (starts to cry) Make the hurting stop! >"Ecchi!" exclaimed Michelle. "I mean, isn't that cute?" Tom: It's Mr. Hankey! He popped out of the toilet! Crow (Mr. Hankey): Hiiiiiiiiiiiiidey Ho! >Alex went on a rampage. Joel: Killing Jupiter Knight? All: TUX-E-DO! TUX-E-DO! >"We will no longer sit around idly as the Inner Scouts All (blandly): Senshi... >fight the bad guys! We need to flex our muscles and show them who really kicks ass!" Crow: Dowm, Derian, and Ben! All: Yeah! >"Ohh, Alex. I love it when you're forceful like that," said Michelle, taking hold of Alex's arm. >"Then I should be more forceful in bed," said Alex while looking deeply into Michelle's eyes. Crow: Well, that's one way for the Tux to score! Joel: Crow! >"Uh, can I watch?" asked Kintaro. Crow: I'll be happy to take Kintaro's place...OUCH! Joel: (putting his top hat away) That'll teach you to mess with Ben! >"Hotaru or Heather or whatever your name is, All (blandly): Hotaru... >bring your little knife!" exclaimed Alex. >A slightly younger than previously seen Heather walks in with the Silence Glaive Tom: I wouldn't call that a "little" knife...and how did she get younger?....and why can't they tell her real name....(head starts to smoke) Joel: Stay frosty, Tom! Stay frosty! >and smiles at the three in the bathroom. Crow (Hotaru): Hehehe, guess where I'm gonna stick THIS! Tom: Crow! Crow: Tom? Tom: Just wanted to give Joel a rest from yelling at you. Joel: I have things pretty well in hand, but thanks. >"What did you want me to do with it?" >"Oh, play with this nice young man," answered Michelle. Tom (Kintaro): Kinky! Joel: Tom! Crow (singing): Doing the machocism tango... Joel: Crow! >"Okay, Michiru-mama." >"That's a good Dark Messiah," smiled Michelle. Joel: Good Dark Messiah! Good girl! Here's your treat! Crow (Hotaru): Ruff! Ruff! >* * * * * >Meanwhile, Sailor Pluto got lost in the time corridor. She went through one door and found herself in >Juuban. Tom: Somebody understand this? Crow: Haven't got a clue. >"Ah, here it is. I finally found the right place," she said. She saw Serena walking down the road and >went to greet her. "Hello, Serena." Crow (Sailor Pluto): I got some baby oil and some strawberries... Joel: Crow! Crow: Bite me! >Serena looked at her strangely, as if she couldn't understand a word she said. "Yas uoy did tahw?" >"Huh? Damn. Wrong door. This isn't Juuban, this is Nabuuj. Well, back to the drawing board." Joel: And the goofy meter gets sucked into the goofy black hole! >* * * * * >"Aha! This is the most diabolical plan ever conceived! Joel (Hortense): I will keep Joel and the Bots in the theater for all eternity! Bots: AAHHHHHHHHHHH! JOEL! Joel: Hehe, sorry, got carried away. >I will finally rid the universe of those meddlesome Sailor Senshi. I mean Sailor Scouts!" exclaimed >Hortense in triumph. "I will keep the reader in suspense as to what my plan is, so they will be surprised >when I reveal it!" Tom: And it goes on, and on, and on... Joel: Hey, Jupiter Knight? Can you hurry this up? We gotta be....somewhere...in a few minutes. >* * * * * >In a surprising turn of events, the plot fast forwards to the main fight. Joel: Thank you! Tom: Woah, how'd you do that? >Hortense is confronting the Sailor Scouts, minus Sailor Pluto, who seems to be lost in the time corridor. >"Today is the day I smite thee!" exclaimed Hortense. Crow: From Hell's heart, I stabbeth Jupiter Knight....then I kick him in the groin, break every bone in his body, castrate him.... Joel: Simmer down, Crow! Simmer! >"Take your best shot!" exclaimed Sailor Moon, equally loud. >Before Hortense could reveal his terrible plan, a young man with a severe directional problem entered >the scene. Crow: Oh, no! Joel: Please don't let it be Ryouga! Please don't let it be Ryouga! >"Excuse me, can you tell me where Furinkan High School is?" he asked. >Everyone, except Sailor Moon pointed in the direction of Nerima. Sailor Moon pointed to Tokyo Bay. >Numerous sweat drops appeared and Sailor Moon pointed in the direction of Nerima. >"Someone with the same directional impairment as me!" exclaimed Ryouga. "Is this fate?!" Tom: It's Ryouga. Joel: DAMNIT! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! >"Watch it, person from another anime," said Tuxedo Mask. "She's mine." >"Tuxedo Kamen-sama!" exclaimed Sailor Moon, who for some reason unknown to her, started speaking a bit of Japanese again. Crow: Which is what she should be speaking, for cryin' out loud! Tom: Now who's the otaku? Crow: Bite me! >Ryouga started to walk in the direction of Tokyo Bay and said, "Farewell. I will never forget this >meeting!" Crow: Well, at least Jupiter Knight was sober enough this time to write him out of the plot...in character. >"Now, can we get down to business?" asked Hortense. >"Okay, what is your amazing plan?" asked Sailor Moon. Crow: To capture you and make you my bed slaves! Joel: Enough, Crow! >"This!" he exclaimed, holding out a television set. He turned it to CBC and an overweight woman >started to sing. Tom: Orethra Franklin? Joel: No, Tom, she's good. >"Are we supposed to be afraid of this?" asked Sailor Jupiter. >"Yes, dammit! You see, this is Rita McNeil, a Canadian singer who gets high ratings, but the author >can't stand her. All: RITA! RITA! RITA! >Therefore, according to him, you should be afraid of this," explained Hortense. Tom (Jupiter Knight): I'm the God! I AM he GOD! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! >"Ah, okay," said Sailor Jupiter. Everyone started to scream in agony. Tom (Jupiter Knight): See? I AM THE GOD! >Sailor Red shouted out, "I can't stand this!" Her awful accent shattered the television, as well as >Hortense's eardrums. All: YAAAAAAAAAAAAA! BAD ACCENT DEAFEN! >"No! I can't hear!" he exclaimed. Joel ...the fanfic? And that's a bad thing? >Sailor Pluto appeared out of nowhere and asked, "Did I miss anything?" Tom: Be thankful you did. Crow: No, Pluto, the orgy's just getting started! Joel: Crow... >"Not really. You're just in time!" answered Sailor Uranus. >"First, you need a power up. I believe it would be a customary thing to do right now so you can defeat >this evil scum of another dimension with greater ease. Now, look deep into yourself and pull your true >selves to the surface!" said Sailor Pluto. Joel: (Opens his pants) Is this deep enough? Crow: Joel! Joel: Hey, I'm allowed one or two of these every once in a while! >And that they did. Everything started to change. In appearance, they were the same, but emotionally, >mentally, psychologically, and linguistically, they changed! Tom: They're getting rid of DiC! Crow: That would hurt for Tuxedo Kamen! Joel: Crow! >"Yatta! Nihongo o hanashimasu!" exclaimed everyone. Sailor Red turned into Osaka Naru and ran >away in terror. Sailor Earth just faded from existence. Switching to translation mode now. All: (Breath a sigh of relief.) >"Minna, attack!" exclaimed Sailor Moon. Joel (Raye): Hey, why does Mina get all the special treatment? >"Shine Aqua Illusion!" exclaimed Sailor Mercury. >"Burningu Mandala!" exclaimed Sailor Mars. >"Sparklingu Waido Preshaa!" exclaimed Sailor Jupiter. >"Venus Love-Me Chain!" exclaimed Sailor Venus. >"Pinku Shuga Haato Attacku!" exclaimed Sailor Chibi Moon. >"Waldo Shaking!" exclaimed Sailor Uranus. >"Deep Submergi!" exclaimed Sailor Neptune. >"Deado Scream," whispered Sailor Pluto. >"Silence Glaive Sapuraizu!" exclaimed Sailor Saturn. >Tuxedo Kamen threw a rose. >"Moon Spiral Heart Attack!" exclaimed Sailor Moon. Joel: (Dressed up as Ben, laser pistol in his hand) Eat lead, evil fanfic! Tom: No, Joel! Not yet! Crow: You have to be above the carnage! Joel: (Lowers the gun) You're right. >Hortense turned into a pile of dust after screaming the obligatory bad guy is dying scream. All: STAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE OUUUUUT! >"We did it!" exclaimed Sailor Moon. "Now we can live in perfect harmony and speak Japanese and have >real names!" >"Hai. What an easy way to get rid of Sailor Earth," said Sailor Venus. Tom: Now Hortense is dead, everything has turned into non-DiCness? This is just to HORRIBLE TO WRITE by a human! Curse you, JK! Crow: Stay frosty, Tom, it's almost over! >* * * * * All: Earth Dirt Hurt! >"Drat! That moron, Hortense, failed again! And now I can't have the pleasure of killing him," said Evil Guy. Tom: Let me have the pleasure! Please? I'll do anything! Really! >"Saddam Hussein! You're the next incompetent henchman to be humiliated by the Sailor Senshi. Don't >disappoint me!" All: @_@ Joel: You're kidding.....right? Crow: This isn't possible! Tom: He's brought in an actual real life person! All: SH*T! Magic Voice: Watch the language! >"Chemical and biological weapons are at my command, Evil Guy," answered the Iraqi President. Tom: Remind me not to cross him on a bad day! >"No, no, no. That's not an evil plot, that's just plain stupid. You must be creative and make up faulty >plans that make the audience laugh at you," said Evil Guy. "That's the way to be an evil entity bent on >destroying the world." >"As you wish." Crow: No one breaks the Fourth Wall like you do, Jupiter Knight. >* * * * * >Next time on Sailor Moon: The Evil Guy From Another Dimension: Crow: Everyone dies! The end! Joel: We're not going to be that lucky. >Usagi: How can we defeat this So Dan, Who's Sane guy? >Ami: Usagi-chan, that's Saddam Hussein. >Usagi: That's what I said. So, how can we defeat So Damn Insane? >Rei: Ask Bill Clinton? Tom: Ask him what? To have an affair with him? Joel: Thanks for that lovely image, Tom. >Minako: No, no, no! Haven't you seen Hot Shots, Part Deux? We have to drop a piano on him after he >becomes part dog! >Usagi: Minako-chan, how would he become part dog? >Ranma: You know, we could find the Spring of Drowned Dog at Jusenkyou. >Makoto: Who are you? >Ranma: Never mind. Tom: STOP THE CROSSOVERS! STOP! STOP! >Author's Notes: Hate it? All: YES! >Flame me! All: Okay! >Love it? All: NO! >Tell me why, because I have no clue as to why anyone would love this. Crow: Neither do we. >For you information, I wrote the first half of this at about 2 am, the second half at 5 pm. Tom (Jupiter Knight): ...in my drunken stupor. >The first half is much stranger. I should write this early in the morning to get a better effect, shouldn't I? Joel: Or, not write it at all! Crow: Amen, brother. Preach it to the skies! > >-- >======================================================================= > Anime Manga Internet Directory > http://www.dragonfire.net/~JupiterKnight/anime/index.htm > Anime guide and reviews! Episode synopses, song lyrics, midis, > character information! Submit your URL in the Directory! > Nominate your page for an award! >----------------------------------------------------------------------- > Main: http://www.dragonfire.net/~JupiterKnight/ > Over 500 Sailormoon fanfics for you to read! Tom: It's over! Crow: Time to free Tuxedo Alex! Joel: Let's book it! (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) @@@@@ BACK ON THE SOL (Joel and the Bots enter, a case of Advil (r) beside them. A cloth is hung over the new transporter. The Bots and Joel are now dressed as Dowm, Derian, and Ben. Gypsy is fiddling with their controls for the transporter on another panel.) Joel: Did you lock on Tuxedo Alex's coordinates? Gypsy: I found him! When you get in the transporter, Joel, you'll arrive right into Jupiter Knight's lair! Tom: All right, Gypsy! Crow: You go, Bot! Gypsy: (blushes, or the equivalent thereof.) (A yellow light flashes on the main control panel.) Joel: We have the Mads calling! Crow: Put 'em through! Hehehe... (Dr. F. and T.V.'s Frank appear on the viewscreen.) Dr. F.: Greetings, Dolly sheep clones! After all that hurt I have inflicted, it's time for another Invention Exchange! Frank: Show us what you got, guys! Tom: Okay, Frank, for you, anything! Joel: For our invention, we have this. (Joel removes the cloth on the transporter.) Dr. F.: Okay, what is it? Crow: We call it the TOTS! Frank: Okay......what does it do? Joel: Allow us to give you a visual demonstration. Dr. F.: You're trying my patience, Robinson! It better be good, or it's an Oscarthon for you! (Joel, Crow and Tom step inside.) Tom: By the way, TOTS stands for "Transport Off The Satellite!" Joel: Sayonara, Forrester-sama! (Joel presses the transporter button, sending him off the SOL along with the Bots in a flash of light.) @@@@@ DEEP 13 1/3 Frank (In awe): Wow, that's really cool! Now what happens? Dr. F.: (Backhand's Frank) You dolt! Those morons found a way to escape! Frank: ......So they're not coming back? Dr. F.: NO, YOU MORON! (Walks over to his computer) Computer! Begin a universal search for Joel Robinson, and his two tin cans he calls robots!...... @@@@@ JUPITER KNIGHT'S LAIR (AN UNKNOWN LOCATION) Joel, Tom, and Crow ended up in a dark cavern after Joel flipped the TOTS switch. Apparently, they had arrived at the preset coordinates that Gypsy had set. "Well guys," Joel said enthusiastically, "we're here!" "Wait a second," Tom said, concern in his voice. "Why do I feel so different?" "Yeah," Crow added. "It's like we changed fonts, or styles, or something." "Hmmmmmmm," Joel wondered. "Yeah, guys, I feel it, too. Actually, I kinda like it!" "Well, there's no time to worry about that, now!" Crow exclaimed. "We got a writer to save!" "Right! It's time for Dowm," cried Tom. "Derian," added Crow, "And Ben!" concluded Joel. Immediately after the three friends shouted out their war cries, they heard a loud rumbling sound. Looking to their left, the three saw a figure emerge from one of the cavern walls. It was a woman, clad in silver armor, a bow strapped to her side, and a quiver with silver arrows strapped to her back. She had long, brown hair, tied back in a pony-tail. When seeing the threesome, a puzzled look appeared on her face. Instinctively, she reached for her bow. "Jupiter Knight's forces must be vanquished!" she cried. "Woah, woah, woah!" cried Joel, raising his arms in the standard "I surrender!" motion. "We're not Jupiter Knight's forces!" Gripping the bow now, she reluctantly released it. "Then, who are you?" Tom was the next to step forward. "We're Dowm, Derian, and Ben," he said. "We're here to save Tuxedo Alex." The woman's reluctance seemed to fade. "So, you received the distress signal as well." "Yep," said Crow. "We have to get him out of that fanfic!" The woman extended her hand to the three "heroes". "My name is Sailor Silver Knight, defender of truth and justice." Joel and the 'Bots looked puzzled. "Sailor Silver Knight?" asked Joel. "I didn't know there were other Sailors," Tom remarked. "There are other Sailor Senshi besides the ones that live in your solar system," Sailor Silver Knight explained. "Didn't you know that?" "I guess not," said Crow. "Anyway," said Silver Knight, changing the subject, "we have to find Tuxedo Alex." "Right," said Joel. He began motioning toward the Bots. "Come on, guys, lets go!" And with that, they began to explore the many corridors of the underground... @@@@@ About one half-hour of exploring the various tunnels of Jupiter Knight's lair, Joel was getting worried. "This is impossible!" he muttered. "It feels like we've been going in circles." "Yeah," said Crow, motioning to a certain rock. "I've seen that rock three times already!" "We can't give up," Sailor Silver Knight remarked. "Tuxedo Alex needs us, and I for one will not let him down." Suddenly, a soft voice was heard coming from a long corridor to the left of them. "Hello?" the voice said. "Joel? Sailor Silver Knight? Crow? Are you there?" "It's Tuxedo Alex!" Tom shouted. "Or a somewhat simple plot device," Crow added. Sailor Silver Knight gave the three a dirty look. "What's with 'Joel', and 'Crow'?" "Ummmm," Joel began to explain, "Joel Robinson is my real name. Derian's real name is Crow T. Robot, and Dowm's real name is Tom Servo." "Oh," said Silver Knight. "Okay. So Dowm, Derian, and Ben are just alter-egos?" "Yep," Crow said. "Okay," said Sailor Silver Knight. "Sorry about suspecting you." The four heroes then ran down the long corridor that they had heard the voice come from. After several minutes of running, they came to a small room. A control panel occupied the entire left wall. The controls looked very complex, with many various buttons and switches to be seen. On the right wall, a lone figure was chained by the wrists. His clothes were almost covered with dust, but from what the heroes could see, he wore a tuxedo, a mask, and a top hat. "Tuxedo Alex!" cried Silver Knight. Looking to his left, Tuxedo Alex smiled. "Sailor Silver Knight!" he exclaimed. "Thanks for coming!" "Believe me, I wouldn't leave you hanging," she said. "How 'bout chained up?" Alex joked. Both laughed at the comment. Joel was confused. "You know her, Tuxy?" he asked. "Oh, hi Joel," Alex said, acknowledging the other three heroes. "Thanks for coming as well. Sailor Silver Knight and I are partners. I show her my works, and she makes comments on them. You can say she's my editor, so to speak." "And we fight the forces of evil," Silver Knight added "No big deal." "It will be a big deal, once I have anything to say about it!" shouted a deep, murky voice. Tom and Crow turned around to see a man clad in black armor. A sword was strapped to his side, and several ogre-type creature were standing behind him. "Is that..." Crow stuttered. "...Jupiter Knight?" Tom finished. "Correct, you insolent fools," Jupiter Knight growled. "Tuxedo Alex shall act in my fanfic for all eternity! And Dr. Forrester shall make sure you're forced to read it!" Ignoring Jupiter Knight, Sailor Silver Knight had loaded her bow with a silver arrow, ready to fire. "No way, Jupiter Knight!" she cried. "Tuxedo Alex won't be yours any more!" With that, Sailor Silver Knight released the arrow, directly at the control panel. The impact sent huge sparks and bright light flying in all directions. The ogres behind Jupiter Knight, seeing this pyrotechnic display, turned and ran in the other direction. With the control panel destroyed, the chains on Tuxedo Alex' wrist were broken. With Joel's and Silver Knight's help, he slowly rose to his feet. "Smooth move, Sailor Silver Knight," Joel complimented. "Thanks," said Silver Knight. "My silver arrows can really pack a wallop!" Angered, Jupiter Knight unsheathed his sword. "You shall pay for that!" he screamed. "My assistants may be cowards, but I have balls of steal!" "To go with your DiC?" Crow riffed. Jupiter Knight scowled at himself, realizing that he had just fed them more material to be riffed. "Shut up and DIE!" he bellowed. It was then that the five heroes began to glow in a strange white light. Not even Tuxedo Alex or Sailor Silver Knight could explain it. Jupiter Knight seemed puzzled as well. Within seconds, they had disappeared, away from Jupiter Knights clutches.... @@@@@ BACK ON THE SOL (Joel, the Bots, Tuxedo Alex, and Sailor Silver Knight appear in the main room. Knowing what happened, Joel and the Bots begin to scowl.) Joel: DAMMIT! We're back on the Satellite! Crow: I don't believe this! Tom: How'd we get back here, anyway? (Tuxedo Alex and Sailor Silver Knight look confused.) Silver: What is this place? Tom: Oh, you didn't know? Crow: Your ass better... Joel: Crow! Alex: Um, uh, so where are we again? (Joel and the Bot's take the time to explain to the twosome of what the SOL was, who put them up there, and what was happening to them. This explanation includes run-downs on movies like "Manos: The Hands of Fate," and "The Brain that Wouldn't Die." Also, it included fanfics authors likr Oscar, Gonterman, Ratcliff, and so forth. It was an hour later that Joel had finished. Before Alex and Silver could say anything, the yellow light flashed. Gypsy then entered.) Gypsy: Hi, guys, welcome back. Tom: Funny, Gypsy! Gypsy: Sorry guys, but Dr. F. is calling. Joel (blandly): Put him through. (Dr. F. and TV's Frank appeared on the viewscreen.) Dr. F.: So, little munchkins, thought you could get away, do you? (Notices the new faces on the Satellite.) And it appears that we have two more to add to the list! Is the one in black Jupiter Knight's prisoner? He'll be pleased that I'm "holding" him here! Frank: (Waving) Hi, my name's Frank! What's yours? Dr. F.: (Backhands Frank) Shut up! Anyway, now that I have some new lab rats, I'll be lenient and send Part 4 later. You're going to take this medicine, like it, or not! BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! (The viewscreen goes blank. Tuxedo Alex and Sailor Silver Knight then look at eachother, just now realizing what they have gotten into.) Silver and Alex: SH*T! Joel, Tom, and Crow: Watch the language! TO BE CONTINUED... @@@@@ Author's Notes So, Jupiter Knight, you wanna make things harder for me to riff? Bring it on! I can take ya! Seriously, it was a little harder to riff this time. And if Jupiter Knight wants to challenge me, I'm more than happy to accept. Just a small word on Sailor Silver Knight. She is a very good friend of mine who reads my works and makes comments. Also, she will be helping me somewhat in the near future on MSTings. Maybe as early as Part 4 of this one. I hope you like my little action-adventure sequence I stuck in there. I'll see how well it goes with all of you out there in case I decide to write more. Also, sorry it took so long, this time. I really had many things going on. (Man, Pokemon for the Game Boy's an addicting game...) Previous Experiments: 01: ANOTHER SAILOR By Laurie Carpio 02: REI'S SISTER by Ann 03: EVIL GUY FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION (Pt.1) by Jupiter Knight 04: EVIL GUY FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION (Pt.2) by Jupiter Knight 05: EVIL GUY FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION (Pt.3) by Jupiter Knight Future Experiments: (Coming Soon) 06: EVIL GUY FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION (Pt.4) by Jupiter Knight 07: EVIL GUY FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION (Pt.5) by Jupiter Knight 08: EVIL GUY FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION (Pt.6) by Jupiter Knight 09: SERENA KILL THE KENNIDIES (Pts. 1-3) by Paulo F.M. Freire (No, I'm not kidding!) More Disclaimers Mystery Science Theater 3000 is copyrighted by Best Brains Inc. Sailor Moon is copyrighted by Naoko Takeuchi and all her distributors, including DIC. Any other brand names or song titles or anything of the like that I forgot to mention are the properties of whoever created them in the first place. I take NO CREDIT from them! (There, that oughta keep me from getting sued!) Stinger: "Yes, dammit! You see, this is Rita McNeil, a Canadian singer who gets high ratings, but the author can't stand her. Shameless Self Plug: Go see my other works, the Sailor Moon Chronicles, and the TUXEDO ALEX SPECIAL EDITIONS of my MSTings at: http://www.lavender.fortunecity.com/rothside/482/index.html Please? Pretty please?