ThunderCats: Exodus Written by Leonard Starr MSTed by Seth C. Triggs (trigsc41@buffalostate.edu) Hi, folks...guess what? I have another Thundercats MSTing!! It's of the first show, too...so this should be a lot of fun!! [Roll Season 8 Theme] [SoL] [MIKE and the BOTS are busy cleaning the ship, when...] [red MADs light flashes] CROW: What could *they* want?! [Planet Surface] PEARL: What could *we* want? How about your demise!! And I've got a little bit of joy for you...another of the not-so-good episodes of ThunderCats...Exodus!! Enjoy!!! [pushes "send movie" button] [SoL] ALL: MORE Thundercats!! Aye!! [lights and klaxon go off] MIKE: Let's go, guys!!! [Dog Bone, 6,5,4,3,2,*] [ALL take seats] Exodus A Thundercats episode written by Leonard Starr CROW: Oh, great...more breathing in space... A large spaceship sped away from a planet in the grips of destructive forces. There were explosions on the surface and terrible earthquakes as the planet fell apart. MIKE: Wow!! So California has its own planet! In the ship flying away, there were several naked humanoid cat-like creatures (with no visible genitalia): TOM: Gasp! They're sexless aliens?! a male tiger named Tygra, a male panther named Panthro, a female cheetah named Cheetara, and two kids of an undiscernible feline identity, twins, one male and one female, named WilyKit and WilyKat. There is also an elderly male cat wearing a cloak named Jaga. CROW: [Jaga] I've fallen and I can't get up...wait a minute. MIKE: [Jaga] Nyah nyah! I get clothes and you don't!! "It's finished." Panthro told the others. "Yes Panthro... any moment now." Jaga said quietly. TOM: [Jaga] Could you tell me what was started again? My memory isn't what it used to be! "Shall I awaken Lion-O now?" Tygra asked. Cheetara looked at the others. "No need to upset the child needlessly Tygra." CROW: Uhhh..what's going on here? Are they having a party or something? "Wake him!" Jaga said forcefully. "If he is to rule then he must learn to take the bad with the good!" MIKE: [Jaga, ala Dilbert's boss] Oh, that reminds me...your entre family is dead now. *** Meanwhile, across the ship, a young lion male was asleep in his bed. Cheetara walked in and shook him gently to wake him up. "Lion-O..." she whispered, leaning over him closely. TOM: [Lion-O] Dude!! She's naked! CROW: [Beavis] BOOIIIINNNGGG!!! MIKE: Crow... The young red-haired lion shook his head. "What? Oh, Cheetara..." "I am so sorry to wake you Lion-O, but Jaga bids me bring you to him." Cheetara told him with a warm smile. Lion-O climbed out of bed. "Uh, ok, sure Cheetara." TOM: [Lion-O] My little friend says hello! MIKE: Tom... A small red and yellow cat-like creature named Snarf laying at the foot of the bed woke up. "Snarf snarf..." he mumbled. "Hey where are you going?" he called out in a louder voice. "Lion-O needs his sleep!" CROW: Welllll...ol' Snarf's a bedwarmer!! How cute! TOM: I guess this is where "Night on Thundera" was based from. "He will have ample opportunity for sleep on this voyage. For now it is imperative that he join Jaga on the flight deck." Cheetara told Snarf. MIKE: [Snarf] Okay...but you two go straight there!! Don't let him play on *your* deck!! CROW: Okaaay, Mike...you really need to work on that. "Snarf, snarf! Well I think it's imperitive that a young boy have his rest!" Snarf protested. TOM: [Snarf] And his nether regions won't get any rest with you barging in like that with no clothes on!! "Aw let up, Snarf." Lion-O complained. "I'm practically grown up!" MIKE: [Lion-O] At least that's what Cheetara tells me. CROW: Ah, good...you're getting there. "You really are turning into an old man, Snarf." Cheetara said with amusement as she and Lion-O walked through the doorway. TOM: [Snarf] Hey!!! I'm not a man! Cut that out!! I'm a *snarf*!! Stay awake in biology class next time! "Easy for you to say." Snarf complained again. "You're not responsible for Lion-O's welfare. Snarf is! Just let the boy come down with a fever or the pip or something. Who gets the blame? Poor old Snarf, that's who! Snarf, snarf!" Snarf followed Lion-O and Cheetara out the door. CROW: Man, Snarf sure says "Snarf" a lot. MIKE: Well, he wants to reinforce the fact that he's a snarf. CROW: Oh. *** All the Thundercats were present on the flight deck as Lion-O came in with Cheetara and Snarf. MIKE: *Came* being the operative word. CROW: [Darth Vader] Impressive. Most impressive. Lion-O walked over to Jaga. "What's up Jaga?" he asked. TOM: [Jaga] Well, nothing...that's why my wife left me! [ba-doom-crash] Thank you!!! "Come closer, Lion-O. Watch the telescreen." Jaga instructed him. CROW: [Lion-O] What's Cheetara doing to Panthro's ...MMMPH!! MIKE: That's enough, Crow. "What's on the screen?" Lion-O asked. The image of a planet appeared on the monitor. "That planet? What's happening to it?" he asked. The planet then exploded into dust. "What was that?" Lion-O asked Jaga. MIKE: Oh, no!! They put tripolodine in the ground!! Oh, the humanity! CROW: Leave Robert Denby alone! "That was Thundera, Lion-O." Jaga said sadly. "The planet we called home." TOM: This message brought to you by the EPA. The monitor showed fiery rocks floating around space, and then Lion-O cast Jaga a horrified look. "Thundera? But.. but.." MIKE: [Lion-O] We can't die in ThunderCats, can we? Jaga put his arm on Lion-O's shoulder. "Yes, Lion-O. Thundera is gone, but the Code of Thundera will live as long as you, as the Lord of the Thundercats, carry it in your heart. CROW: [Jaga] So...Nurse! Prepare the scalpel! You have a sacred duty to honor it in our new home, wherever that may be... truth, justice, honor, and loyalty." TOM: [random Thundercat] Don't forget smarm! "I will Jaga, I swear it!" Lion-O said passionately. CROW: Sayyyy... MIKE: CROW!! "I mean, I'll try..." he added, less confident now. TOM: [Lion-O] I'd be peeing my pants if I wore any. Jaga nodded. "Yes, I know. It is an enormous responsibility for one who is not yet a man. But you are not alone. The nobles you see gathered here... Panthro... Cheetara..." Lion-O looked at each noble's face as Jaga said the name. Cheetara winked at him as he looked at her. MIKE: Looks like they're gonna have a little fun later. CROW: SCHWIIING!! MIKE: Crow, stop that. "...Tygra... even, er, WilyKit and WilyKat will teach you the skills to rule wisely and well." TOM: Yeah, they'll teach him how to properly snicker-snag someone. Snarf looked up, annoyed. "No mention of old Snarf, I notice, snarf snarf." he muttered. "Go on, just take all the glory, and leave old Snarf to clean up after you. ALL: EWWWWWWW!!! MIKE: I guess they're not housebroken. I don't mind, snarf snarf!" CROW: Snarf...the Rodney Dangerfield of cute sidekicks... Jaga led Lion-O toward a door. "There is something else you must see, Lion-O. The most important part of your heritage." Jaga led Lion-O through a sliding door and pointed to TOM: [announcer] A NEW CAR!!! MIKE & CROW: [make cheering noises] a sword bathed in a beautiful light on a holder. "This is the mystic Sword of Omens, and the source of our powers, the Eye of Thundera." Jaga told Lion-O. CROW: [Jaga] Have it back by 10. If you put a scratch on it, you're grounded. Lion-O walked over to the sword, and the eye pulsed with power. He picked it up, swung it around, and nearly dropped it as the sword seemingly moved on its own. "Jaga! The sword is alive!" TOM: [Frankenstein] It's alive! It's ALIVE!! he exclaimed. "Yes." Jaga answered simply. "But there are holes in the hilt, Jaga, and I don't see any eye." Lion-O said, confused. MIKE: Join the club. "The eye sleeps until needed, Lion-O." Jaga told him. "And those are not merely holes you see in the hilt, looking through those magic apertures will give you sight beyond sight." CROW: 'Course, you'll have to ask the sword, but you'll find out later. "But if I do need the eye, how can I wake it up and let it know?" he asked Jaga. TOM: [Jaga] Well, the Eye checks its voice mail at about 6 every day, and has ICQ. "There will be no need, the eye will know it is needed before you do." Lion-O grunted and struggled with the sword. "I can't even lift it, Jaga." MIKE: [Jaga] Oh, a tenderfoot. Ah, well. NEXT! Jaga nodded. "No, you haven't the strength yet. But..." Jaga turned to Snarf. "Snarf, will you ask the other Thundercats to join us?" he asked. TOM: Bow-chicka-wocka-wow... "But I want to hear what--" Snarf whined. "It's important, Snarf." Jaga said forcefully. CROW: [makes hacking sound] MIKE: [Snarf, high-pitched] Thanks for cutting me smooth...I'll go get them now! CROW: Wait. Thundercats don't have genitalia. MIKE: Oh, right. Snarf grumbled. "Ok, snarf, snarf." Jaga turned back to Lion-O. "But it will not be long before it feels natural in your hand." TOM: [Lion-O] Yeah, I know...I do every night!!....ooops. MIKE: Tom... The Thundercats entered the room. "You wish to see us Jaga?" Tygra asked. "Yes." Jaga replied. "You will all have to learn new ways as well. On our own planet, you needed no protective clothing or special weaponry. CROW: [Thundercats] Oh! I thought we just ran out in the middle of the night! And the Eye of Thundera rested peacefully in the mystic Sword of Omens guarded and known only to me. We don't know what awaits the Thundercats in our new home, but these arrainments will protect you. TOM: From *what*?! MIKE: Hmmm...guess they couldn't get away with showing naked Thundercats on American TV. Cheetara--" Jaga tossed a magical beam her way, encasing her in a leotard and putting a bo staff in her hands "--Tygra--" Jaga tosssed him a beam putting him in a silvery blue jumpsuit and a whip in his hands "--Panthro--" Jaga's beam put a blue outfit with spiked suspenders on, and nunchuks in his hands. CROW: Man! It's the magical Gap!! MIKE: I wish I could pick out my clothes *this* easily! TOM: But you only have one suit, Mike. MIKE: That's right... Suddenly they were interrupted as an alarm sounded. CROW: [alarm p.a.] Plot point ahead!! Plot point ahead!! "Jaga! We're being attacked!" Tygra announced. Jaga turned to Lion-O, who (along with the Thunderkittens) was also clothed. TOM: [Wilykit] Aw, thanks, Jaga...it's kinda embarrassing to have everyone know you're as flat as a board! MIKE: Tom... "Remain in the sword chamber!" he ordered, and ran out. "No!" Lion-O protested. "If there's to be fighting then I should--" TOM: [Lion-O] Chicken out, scamper, and wet 'em! "Please do not argue!" Jaga yelled back. "Snarf, look after him!" Jaga then ran out after the others. Snarf clung to Lion-O. "Old Snarf'll look after you!" Lion-O frowned. "Aww I don't want to be safe, safe is boring!" he whined. CROW: [Lion-O] It's fun when it's fun! *** Jaga arrived on the flight deck and put on his helmet, then turned to the others. "Have you identified the enemy?" MIKE: [Panthro] Locked on the Spice Girls...and fire!! "Yes, they're from the planet Plundarr." Tygra replied. CROW: Oh, I get it...because they're *plundering*. MIKE: Spoilsport. *** Outside the ship, several smaller ships swarmed around the Thundercats' ship fleet and fired on it. On the main enemy ship, a jackal mutant, a monkey mutant, and a reptilian mutant were gathered. TOM: We should have told Dr. Dolittle not to play with recombinant DNA technology. "Nyah ha ha, direct hit, Slythe!" Jackalman announced, watching the battle from a window. "Sssssuperb." the reptilian commander replied. CROW: [Sylvester] SSSimply Ssssccrrummptious! *** Back on the deck of the Thundercats' ship, they were monitoring the battle. "We just lost one, Jaga." Panthro said as one of their fleet exploded. MIKE: [Panthro] Maybe we should crossover with Star Trek and get some real weapons!! Jaga grabbed a communicator. "Flagship to convoy! Assume defensive formation!" he ordered. CROW: [Jaga] Turn with your rear in the air and place your wings over your eyes! The ships maneuvered and flocked around the flagship. The flagship fired on the mutant ships and blew a few up. The mutants fired back and destroyed most of their other ships, leaving only the flagship unharmed. TOM: Plot point... "We're losing them, Jaga, we're losing all our ships!" Panthro said. MIKE: Thank you, Captain Exposition. "Except for ours." Cheetara observed. "We haven't taken a single hit." CROW: [Tygra] *You* haven't! Good thing I stopped by Planet Cannabis before we left! "No." Jaga replied. "They know the flagship would be carrying the Eye of Thundera. They won't risk losing it." TOM: [Jaga] Well, for the purposes of the story... "Then..." WilyKat started. "Yes." Tygra answered. "We can expect visitors at any moment." MIKE: [Wilykat] Oh, no!! Quick!! Prepare the hors d'oueveres! The ship shook. "What's that?" Cheetara asked. "Tractor beam rays!" Panthro shouted. Beams of blue light encircled the flag ship and drew it next to one of the mutant ships. CROW: [female narrator] When a mommy spaceship loves a daddy spaceship very much... "Easy Lion-O, easy." Snarf said, attempting to console Lion-O. "Old Snarf won't let anyone harm you, you bet I won't." "I'm not *gulp* afraid." Lion-O said. TOM: [Lion-O] My pants are full!!! An airlock moved from the mutant ship against the side of the flagship, and a reptile mutant came through, and fired a laser through the Thundercat insignia painted on the wall, making a hole for them to enter through. MIKE: Sucking all of the air out of the Thundercats' ship, and killing them all. The end. CROW: No, you can breathe in space in this show. MIKE: Oh, right. Inside a ship, an alarm sounded. Tygra and Jaga looked up while Panthro tapped at the controls. "We've been breached!" TOM: Oh, *really*? "Prepare to repel boarders!" Tygra ordered. TOM: [Thundercats] Thanks, but we've already started. "Right in front of you, Tygra!" Cheetara answered, and sped ahead of him with her super speed. She met up with some reptile mutants, and ran circles around them with a rope, ensaring them in it. CROW: [mutants] Showoff!! Meanwhile, Tygra fought two monkey mutants, lashed his whip, and turned invisible. "Where'd he go?" one of the monkey mutants asked. MIKE: To Disney world!! "Now you don't see me..." Tygra's voice sounded, and he suddenly reappeared, jumping on them. "Now you do!" he exclaimed, giving them a sound beating. CROW: Does this mean he's *spanking the monkey*? MIKE: Crow... Panthro was busy fighting mutants as well. He flipped through the air and landed in the middle of four jackal mutants. One whipped a mace at him, but Panthro stopped it with his hands and crushed it. "If you were as mean as you are ugly, then maybe you'd be trouble." he said with a laugh. TOM: [jackal mutants] Hey, at least we don't have spikes for ears!! The Thunderkittens were backed into a corner by reptile mutants. They ran at the kittens, who tossed pellets at them. The pellets exploded with a blinding flash, and when the reptiles could see again, the kittens were gone. CROW: And so the little mutants had none. MIKE: Awwww... In another part of the ship, some of the mutants were busy rummaging through things searching for the Eye of Thundera. Jackalman walked through a door and met up with Slythe. "Nothing there, any luck at your end, Slythe?" he asked. TOM: [Slythe] No, so could you turn around again... MIKE: CROW!!! CROW: HEY! MIKE: Sorry. "No, what's in there?" Slythe asked, pointing at a door. "It would help if I knew what the Eye of Thundera looks like. Have you ever seen it?" CROW: [Slythe] No, and besides, it would totally go against the logic of us searching for something which we aven't seen before. "Yesssss, yesssss." he replied. They walked into the room holding the Sword of Omens, Lion-O, and Snarf, and the Eye of Thundera pulsed in warning. MIKE: Warning: Undetonated plot device in section 4... Lion-O held the Sword of Omens in a defensive stance, and Snarf was growling angrily. "And there it is, embedded in the Sword of Omens!" Slythe said. "You'd better get out of here right now or you'll have Snarf the fierce to deal with!" Snarf warned. CROW: Oh, like Joxer the Mighty. "And what manner of laughable creature is this?" Slythe laughed. Snarf was offended. "Think I'm funny do ya, snarf snarf?" TOM: [Slythe] Well, you *were* hired for the comic relief... "Snarf! Stop!" Lion-O said worriedly. Jackalman shot his gun at Snarf, ensnaring him in a net. Snarf struggled in the net. "Where are they? Let me at 'em, snarf, snarf!" MIKE: [Snarf] No respect! No respect! Slythe turned to Lion-O. "Now boy, give me the sword!" "You shall not have it while I live." Lion-O said bravely. TOM: Oh, sure, Lion-O...give him ideas. Both Slythe and Jackalman laughed. "The cub threatens us? He can hardly hold onto that sword, much less lift it!" Jackalman said. CROW: Cue plot convenience... Lion-O grunted, trying to lift the sword. The Eye of Thundera pulsed, Lion-O's eyes glowed yellow with power, he swung the sword high, and the Eye opened and projected the Thundercat signal on the wall. MIKE: Hmmm...cool. "What's happening?" Jackalman wondered fearfully. "Back, get back!" Slythe ordered. CROW: [Slythe] It's a projected image!! Run away!! Lion-O swung the glowing sword slowly above his head, the sword pulsing with power. The mutants backed away, and fled in terror. TOM: [Peter Graves] The first Mutant rebellion was a dismal failure. "Back to the ship, and move it!" Slythe yelled. All the mutants returned to their ship, and the ship sped away, leaving the flagship damaged in space, with a gaping hole in the side. MIKE: [Panthro] Hey, Jaga...you think we ought to do something about that hole that's letting all our air out? In the sword chamber, Lion-O freed Snarf from the net and shook him. "Snarf, are you all right? Come on Snarf, say something!" CROW: [Snarf] Don't touch me there!! Snarf slowly woke up. "Snarf..." he mumbled, and hugged Lion-O. ALL: AWWWWWWW!!! MIKE: Well, on that note, let's scram. [*,2,3,4,5,6, Dog Bone] [SoL] [TOM and CROW are busy taking a jackhammer to a wall of the Satellite.] MIKE: Uhh, guys...what are you doing? TOM: Oh, we're just expirimenting to see if a ship can survive in the deep vacuum of space with a big gaping hole in the side! MIKE: Okay, may I ask WHY?! CROW: Well, the flagship in ThunderCats can do this, so why shouldn't *we*? MIKE: Allright...what have I told you guys about trying to apply concepts from TV shows into real life? TOM: Ummm...a few times. MIKE: So...why are you doing this? CROW: Well, Mike...it's fun! It's fun to try to do something really dangerous. TOM: [stoner] It's like a totally rad buzz, dude!!! [Commercial Sign flashes] MIKE: Okay, I'll deal with you two later...but we have Commercial sign. [commercials] [SoL-Theater] "Good old Snarf." Lion-O said, returning the hug. "Why'd you wanna scare me like that?" CROW: [Snarf] 'Cause you're a wuss? "How many of 'em did I get?" Snarf asked. TOM: Ah, such devotion. MIKE: Kill him. Jaga and the other Thundercats rushed in. "Lion-O! You're not hurt!" Jaga exclaimed with relief. TOM: Cause Panthro bet me $50 you'd be captured! "Yeah, Snarf took a few lumps, but I managed to hold 'em off." Lion-O answered. "You did it with the sword?" Jaga asked, as the sword gave another pulse of power. CROW: [Lion-O] Yeah, and boy is my rear sore!! MIKE: CROW!! Cut that out!! Lion-O smiled sheepishly. "Well the sword kind of did it for me..." All of the others but Jaga laughed. "I see." Jaga answered. TOM: [Jaga] I guess I'll have to have you killed, then. CROW: Awfully dark, aren't we? *** A little while later, the Thundercats were all gathered on the brigde of the ship. Jaga turned to Panthro. "How bad is it Panthro?" MIKE: [Panthro] Well, 99% of our air has been sucked out of the ship, so I don't think it's going too well. Panthro turned around. "Well I patched up the hole and I guess it's ok. The navigational system's pretty well shot. We can maneuver some but not well enough to get to the galaxy we were headed for. The best we can do is this." He hit a button on the panel and pointed to the image on the monitor. "Not much as galaxies go." CROW: [Panthro] Man!! Looks like we won't be able to cover an impossibly long distance in a matter of minutes. Oh, well. "It's dinky is what it is." WilyKat commented. MIKE: [Wilykat] A billion stars? Feh! "See this puny little sun?" Panthro asked. "I've run a galactic scan for atmospheric compatibility and this blue planet," he pointed to an image of a planet labeled "3P" on the monitor "the third planet in, gives me a readout of 96%." TOM: I guess that's supposed to be Earth. Lion-O looked confused. "Atmosperic com... com.." Tygra gave him a smile. "That means we can breathe the air Lion-O." MIKE: So...what are they supposed to be protected from? CROW: Details, Details... "Even so, it's light years away." Cheetara said. TOM: [Cheetara] Our grandchildren wouldn't reach it!! "Oh yeah." WilyKat agreed nervously. "We'd have to make the trip in the suspension capsules." "You will all get in the suspension capsules now." Jaga ordered. "I will pilot the ship to the blue planet." MIKE: Oh, there's no reason that he should die...nope, none whatsoever... "No Jaga." Panthro argued. "Without suspension you'll die. We can set the ship on robot pilot." "In its damaged condition the ship must be piloted manually as long as possible. It is the only way we can be sure of reaching our destination." Jaga said. TOM: [Jaga] That, and the undetonated plot device ahead. "We cannot be sure anyway. We'll take our chances together. You must join us in the capsules, Jaga." Tygra said. MIKE: [Tygra] I need a new friend!! CROW: Mike, that was cute...you're getting better! "Yes Jaga, please!" Lion-O pleaded. "Enough!" Jaga said forcefully. "I am by far the oldest of you. Even though the capsules slow down the aging process tremendously, some aging does take place. Even in suspension, I could not live long enough to complete the journey. TOM: Well, thank you, Captain Obvious. Enter the capsules!" he ordered. "But Jaga..." Cheetara argued. CROW: [Cheetara] We have to milk this moment for all it's worth!! Tygra turned and laid an arm on her shoulder. "Come Cheetara, what Jaga says is true. Don't make it tougher for him." he placed his arm around her and led her over to the capsules. MIKE: [Tygra] I've got something I can get your mind off your troubles with... CROW: Okay, stop right there, Mike. WilyKat walked to his capsule, pressed the button to open it, and climbed in. "He's just being practical..." he said sadly. TOM: You can just feel the syrupy sweetness in the air!! "All right, if we're going to do it, let's do it!" Panthro agreed, and picked up Snarf. "In you go, Snarf. Quit stalling." MIKE: [Snarf] Hey!! I didn't use the litter box yet!! "I'm going, I'm going, snarf snarf!" Snarf said as Panthro walked him over to the capsule. "See you later-- I hope. Snarf, snarf." Snarf said, and entered the capsule. CROW: Oh, don't worry...you don't die unless absolutely necessary. Lion-O hugged Jaga tightly. "Goodbye Jaga." he said, trying not to cry. "You must be brave, Lion-O, it is your duty." Jaga told Lion-O. MIKE: [Jaga, ala Darth Vader] It is your destiny. Lion-O was sobbing now. "Yes Jaga." Jaga set down the Sword of Omens. "The Eye of Thundera will be waiting for you when you reach your new home." He looked at all of the Thundercats, all of them now in their capsules in suspension. TOM: [Jaga] Ah, I never thought I'd get rid of them...wait a minute. Jaga sat in the pilot's chair. "I wish I were as sure of their chances as I pretended to be. Still there is a chance." The ship flew through space towards its destination. CROW: What, at warp 150,000? MIKE: They're traveling faster than Star Trek ships could even hope to! Jaga, much older now, slumped down weakly in the chair at the control panel. "I cannot go on any longer. I pray the robot pilot can take it from here." TOM: [Jaga] Allow me to provide a little more exposition for you before I snuff it. Jaga's eyes closed, and his body vanished, leaving only his empty cloak and helmet on the chair. CROW: Man!! These Thundercats don't play around with burial!! Just zap the bodies away! MIKE: So, Jaga was a ghost already? The ship continued to fly through space and eventually landed on the tiny planet. The robot pilot began the landing sequence, but because it was damaged, the ship crash-landed and flew to pieces. TOM: Hmmm...should have had its Prozac. The suspension pods were flung from the ship and scattered around the wreckage site. The only one to pop open immediately was Snarf's. CROW: And our first new plot point...Snarf to save the day!! Snarf sat up and looked around. "I just knew I wasn't going to like this, snarf snarf!" He stood up, and remembered what had happened. "Lion-O!" he exclaimed, and ran to another suspension pod laying nearby. TOM: Hey...*Pod People*!! "Lion-O!" he peered in. "Lion-O? It's him, snarf snarf." Snarf scratched at the pod until it popped open, and then shook Lion-O gently. "Wake up Lion-O, it's me, it's old Snarf." MIKE: [Snarf] Remember me!! Your strange bedfellow!! Lion-O stirred and woke up. "What are you doing Snarf? Get away!" Lion-O sat up, and banged his head on the roof of the suspension capsule. "Ouch!" CROW: [sing-song] Puberty blues... It was apparent as he sat up that he had grown and aged considerably while in suspension. His clothes were outgrown to the point of being torn, and he now had huge muscles and a deeper voice. TOM: Man!! They must have had a Gold's Gym in that capsule!! MIKE: You think the WWF might want one of those? Lion-O looked around. "Oh-- the suspension capsule-- but how did it get to be so small?" CROW: This is *so* much like Cinderella now. "I was really worried, Lion-O." Snarf told him. "I was sure it was all going to turn out--" TOM: Hmmm...looks like he skipped puberty!! CROW: [Lion-O] Hey, what's all this sticky stuff in my pants!! MIKE & TOM: CROW!! "You look a lot smaller too, Snarf." Lion-O said, cutting him off. "What's going on?" Lion-O tried to stand, and hit his head on the suspension capsule again. "Ow!" he looked down and noticed the size of his hands. CROW: Among other things... MIKE: Crow, you're *this* close to a timeout. CROW: Well, it's not like Cheetara won't notice... "And my hands-- look at the size of them!" Lion-O stepped out of the capsule and looked at his reflection in a puddle of water. He was surprised at how much he had aged. He heard Jaga's voice. MIKE: [Lion-O] Oh, wait...we had some hash before we left... "Even though the suspension capsules slow down the aging process, some aging does take place." TOM: [Lion-O] Note to myself: never eat a tape recorder. "Why-- I'm grown!" Lion-O realized. Snarf walked over with Lion-O's teddy bear in his mouth, and dropped it beside him. "Look what I have for you, snarf snarf." CROW: Man!! Snarf seems so much like a dog now! What gives? Lion-O frowned. "What's this Snarf, a toy? Good grief Snarf, I'm too big for toys, can't you see that?!" TOM: [Snarf] Well, Cheetara's not too big for *toys*, so why should *you* be? MIKE: Tom... "Snarf... I guess you'll just always look little to faithful old Snarf." Suddenly Snarf turned and bristled, arching his back and hissing. A mutant ship flew over and descended to a hover. Seconds later a party of mutants beamed down. CROW: [Lion-O] Oh, no...and I haven't a thing to wear! "Mutants..." Lion-O said, struggling to remember what had happened. "They look like.. I don't know, I should remember them." MIKE: How the hell did they get there at the same time? "Oh they're real bad, Lion-O! I just knew we hadn't seen the last of that bunch!" an irritated Snarf answered. Snarf jumped and tripped, and cried out. TOM: [Snarf] Olly-olly-oxen free!! The Sword of Omens flew out, apparently being the object Snarf had tripped on. "What the go darn?" Snarf muttered, then saw the sword. "Lion-O, look!" Snarf exclaimed. MIKE: [Snarf] It's our new plot device!!! "Shhh." Lion-O answered. "You want the mutants to hear?" "But..." Snarf then decided not to argue, picked the sword up in his teeth, and padded over to Lion-O, mumbling with it in his mouth. CROW: [Lion-O] Man...why does this seem so familiar? TOM: What's *that* supposed to mean? CROW: Think about it. Lion-O didn't turn around, and couldn't understand what Snarf was saying. He assumed Snarf had fished another of his toys out of the wreckage and was annoyed that he was bothering him when they were in danger from the mutants. "Good grief Snarf, what's the matter with you? We're in big trouble and you bring me another stupid toy?! Get away!" MIKE: [Snarf] Okay!! That's it!! I'm calling my union!! Below, the mutants were searching through the wreckage, Slythe commanding them. "Search carefully, the Eye of Thundera must be in the wreckage somewhere!" "Hoo hoo, over here. One of the Thundercats is still in his suspension capsule and-- hoo-- here's another!" Monkian informed the other mutants. CROW: [Monkian] Now we can have our little tea party! MIKE: [Monkian] You know, we're moving pretty well for a bunch of mutants who should be in old age by now, hoo hoo! Jackalman stood over another capsule. "Nyah ha ha, we'll never have a better chance be rid of them forever!" He raised his axe over the capsule, preparing to smash it. Lion-O jumped out of hiding. "No, stop!" he yelled. TOM: Movie clichés *always* work. "Nyah ha ha, who is that?" "A better question will soon be 'who was that'?" Slythe roared. MIKE: [singing] Who's that maaannn... Lion-O ran across the wrecked ship. Two mutants jumped at him, but he grabbed one with each arm and swung them around. CROW: [Lion-O] Good thing I'm resistant to hernias! More mutants surrounded him, but Snarf came to his aid by jumping on a monkey mutant holding a pitchfork and flung the Sword of Omens to Lion-O. TOM: [Snarf] Here I go saving your butt again! No respect for snarfs! Lion-O caught the sword, which surrounded him with a glowing blue energy field as he touched it. "This sword-- I know this sword-- it's-- I know it... I can't remember it's--" Lion-O said, confused. MIKE: [Lion-O] Ow!! Maybe I should have had some exercise on my *brain* muscle! Jaga appeared in front of him in a ghostly form. "Lion-O." he spoke. CROW: [Jaga] Help me, Obi-...oops. "Jaga? Is it really you?" he asked, astonished. "I will always be with you, Lion-O. Pay heed, for it is your destiny you hold in your hand-- The Eye of Thundera-- the source of the Thundercats' power." Jaga finished speaking, and vanished. TOM: [imitates toilet flushing] MIKE: Tom..., Lion-O nodded. "Yes, I remember. Sight beyond sight." he spoke, and lifted the sword to his eyes, and looked through the crossbars, which had curled up. Lion-O's eyes glowed as the vision came to him. CROW: [Lion-O] Oww!! Owww!!! Ouchie!!! It burns!! MIKE: Lion-O needs a little Visine there... He saw each of the other Thundercats in their suspension capsules, still asleep. "In those capsules they're-- they're Thundercats!" TOM: Oh, *really*? Lion-O raised the sword and swung it. "Thunder, Thunder, Thundercats, HOOOOO!" he shouted and raised the sword high. The Eye of Thundera opened, and the cat signal came out, roaring, and projected above the battle on the cloudy sky. CROW: I wonder where he learned that from? The signal caused the suspended Thundercats to wake up and emerge from their capsules. "The Thundercats-- they're loose!" Monkian exclaimed. The Thundercats theme music played in the background as all of the Thunderats sprang from their capsules to fight the mutants. MIKE: Neat!! So the sword is like those keychain remotes that lock your doors and stuff. Cheetara ran circles around a group of reptile mutants and beat them up with her staff. Tygra turned invisible with his whip and lashed several mutants with it. CROW: He would need the practice for his little *games* with Bengali later. MIKE: Crow... Panthro picked up a mutant and threw him. "I'm goona loosen your bones for you, too!" Panthro threatened, and lifted a part of the wreckage that several mutants were standing on, and shook them all off. TOM: [Panthro] Man! Good thing I had my fiber this morning! WilyKit and WilyKat, who, like all the other Thundercats but Lion-O, had not aged, were fighting mutants by throwing pellets at them. The pellets contained smoke of varying colors and made the mutants cough and choke. CROW: Wait'll Captian Planet hears about this... Cheetara and Tygra stood back to back while fighting some mutants. "Tygra, look who's joined us!" she exclaimed, and pointed to Lion-O. Lion-O was running through the crowd of mutants with the sword drawn, fighting them. MIKE: [Lion-O] Take that and that, while I smack you around for a bit! "Well well, grown up some, hasn't he?" Tygra answered with a smile. TOM: Hmmmmm... MIKE: Tom, don't even SAY it. WilyKat shrugged. "Hmph, what's the big deal about height?" He then blew some dust into a mutant's face. "My eyes!" cried Monkian, as he tried to rub the gritty substance out of his eyes. CROW: No fair!! I just paid for these contacts! Slythe saw that they were losing the battle. "Back! Teleport yourselves back to the ships!" he ordered. The mutants all pressed buttons on their arm bracelets and beamed back aboard their ship. The ship took off moments later. TOM: [Panthro] Man! The mutants crossed over with Star Trek...why didn't *we*? The Thundercats assembled at the wreckage site. "The mutants will never rest until the Eye of Thundera is in their clutches." Panthro said. MIKE: [Panthro] Or until they get written off... "That will never happen." Lion-O asserted. "I'll see to it." "Get him!" WilyKat said with amusement. TOM: Yes, please do. And hurt him a lot. WilyKit laughed. "One tiny skirmish and he's suddenly a superhero!" CROW: Well, Kit...he does have the biggest muscles... "Now now," Panthro said "he did pretty good for his first time out." MIKE: [Panthro] I remember my first time... "He did indeed, and a fine figure of a Thundercat you've grown up to be, Lion-O." Tygra agreed. TOM: [Tygra] IfyaknowwhatImean!! "And so handsome too." Cheetara added with an approving smile. CROW: Don't you mean a "I want to get you in my bed later" smile? MIKE: Crow... CROW: I'm right. Admit it. Snarf frowned. "Snarf didn't do anything of course, just found the sword, that's all, snarf snarf!" he whined. TOM: This guy literally *screams* "I am Jabberjaw!" Panthro looked around. "Now we'll have to go about seeing if we can survive in this place." "We will survive and create a mighty new empire. I, Lion-O, Lord of the Thundercats, proclaim it!" Lion-O announced, holding up the sword, which projected the signal again. CROW: Well, he's no King Arthur. Oh, well. The others exchanged amused looks, and looked back at Lion-O. Lion-O them gave them a humble smile. "Uh, with your help of course..." MIKE: [Lion-O] But once I have your help, I will RULE the WORLD!! The Thundercats all laughed. "Rowr, maybe it will turn out all right, and maybe it won't, rowr." Snarf said. TOM: Buy, Snarf is such a wishy-washy pessimist!! Cheer up, snarfy! CROW: He needs some Prozac too. The End ALL: Yeah! TOM: Well, let's go! MIKE: They never explained the muscles. I still don't get that. [*,2,3,4,5,6,Dog Bone] CROW: You know what? That last episode was pretty good...even though they left a few plotlines dangling in the air! MIKE: Yeah, I know...so why don't we just go get some Z's...it's been a long day. CROW: I don't know why, these half-hour shows seem so long!! MIKE: Don't worry about it. Let's just get some rest. I have a feeling we're going to see more of these shows in the future... [fade to credits] mst3k created by JOEL HODGSON mst3k produced by BEST BRAINS, INC. riffs written by SETH C. TRIGGS original TV show written by LEONARD STARR show transcripted by TRACY BUTLER Mystery Science Theater 3000 is ©1997, 1998 Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved. This MSTing is a work of fiction based on another work of fiction. No infringement is implied or intended, and certainly no offense, for this is a harmless satire. ThunderCats is ©1985-1988 Rankin-Bass Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Keep circulating the fics 25 February 1998 > Lion-O frowned. "Aww I don't want to be safe, safe is boring!" he whined.