*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS* (And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain) (The future isn't what it used to be....) "CARD CAPTOR SCIENCE THEATER 3000" (SEASON FOUR) EPISODE 34: FIRST RELEASE (A CardCaptor Sakura/Ranma ½ MSTing) MSTed From the Desk of CardCaptor Schlueter (aka Syaoran-kun) This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred. “Card Captor Sakura” is a trademark of CLAMP and those who distribute it. “Ranma ½ ” is the property of Rumiko Takahashi and the distributors of her work. “First Release” is the property of Wishbringer and he’s welcome to it. I do not intend to offend him by making fun of his work like this but I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this as another form of C&C. ;) (Cue "Card Captor Science Theater 3000 Love Theme" in 5....4....3....) It's the not-too-distant future, Last Sunday BC There was this girl named Sakura Quite different from you or me She captured Clow Cards with her friends All seen through Tomoyo’s camera lens They tried to save the human race, But Eriol lost his patience So he shot them into space!!!! Sakura: (Hoeeee……) Syaoran and Tomoyo: (Now what?) We'll send them crappy fanfics The worst we can find (lalala) They'll have to sit and read them all And we'll monitor their minds (lalala) Now keep in mind they can't control When the fanfics begin or end (lalala) Because, let’s face it, after all Eriol’s not really their friend; CARD CAPTOR ROLL CALL: Meiling: 'HI-KEEBA!!’ Tomoyo: 'Oh-hohohohohohoho!!!' Syaoran: 'I do NOT blush! (blushes)' KEROOOOOOO!!! 'I am the guardian of the hell!!' If you're wondering how they eat and breathe And other science facts (lalala) Then repeat to yourself *It's just a MiST* You should really just relax Sakura: (Did I mention Aeris is here?) Aeris: (I may be an Ancient, but I don’t look a day over twenty-two!) For Card Captor Science Theater 3000!!! ** THE CHURCH IN MIDGAR 14:45 Hours Aeris Gainborough paused momentarily in her gardening to wipe the sweat from her brow and catch her breath. It had been a long time since she’d had a chance to work on her flower garden in the broken down church in Midgar’s sector six. It was nice to have something to give her a break from the hassles of everyday life. She brushed a stray lock of chestnut hair from her face before continuing. Her head jerked up as she heard the front door creak open and the footsteps of several men entering the church. She quickly got to her feet and turned to face them. Her green eyes narrowed menacingly as Reno, Rude Tseng and four other anonymous black suit wearing Turks entered the room. “So, Miss Gainsborough…” Reno began smugly. “We meet again.” “Oh, really?” Aeris replied coldly. “Are you prepared to surrender?” Tseng asked. Aeris summoned her Princess Guard staff to her hand. “Not bloody likely…” she began. The Turks raised their weapons at her but they were far too slow. Aeris leapt into the air with incredible speed and dealt crushing mid-air Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon-style martial arts kicks to two of the Turks knocking them to the floor. The moment she hit the ground she used some fancy and unnecessarily elaborate swings from her staff to wipe out the other four. She took up another battle stance. Aeris smirked. “Now who should surrender?” Reno just scowled and raised his gun and started shooting. Rude and Tseng quickly joined in but it was all for naught as time seemed to slow down and Aeris dodged the bullets easily in time-honored Matrix-esque tradition. As soon as the bullets ran out, Aeris activated her Enemy Skill material and incinerated the remaining Turks with a Flame Thrower attack, while curiously not damaging the building. “I *am* hot stuff, aren’t I?” Aeris said smugly. “Impressive…” came a voice from the shadows. “Most impressive…” Aeris quickly turned to face the new intruder. A familiar, tall form with long white hair and longer black cloak emerged from the darkness. “Your skills have grown.” Sephiroth said in his most menacing tone. “Celes Chere has taught you well, but you’re not Terra Bradford yet.” He raised his own improbably long sword and pointed it at Aeris. “Now, Miss Gainsborough, I shall finally be rid of you and your White Materia and my plans to rule this world shall be complete.” “Bring it on, freak show!” Aeris retorted. With the gauntlet thrown down, Sephiroth quickly lashed out with his first attack which Aeris neatly dodged. She tried to get in close enough to launch her own attack, but Sephiroth’s wide strokes left little room to maneuver. Aeris backed off and began to rethink her approach. “Screw this,” she muttered as she tossed aside her staff and reached into her top coat to draw a twin pair of Desert Eagles. She immediately opened fire, the loud gun shots ringing through the building as Sephiroth was hurled backwards by the shots and right through a wall. “And remember,” said Aeris. “In the afterlife, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. Heh, heh.” She paused to blow the smoke from the barrels of the guns. “I love this holocabana program.” “Bridge to Aeris,” Yue’s voice called over the intercom. “Aeris here.” “You’re needed on the bridge, Miss Gainsborough,” said Yue. Aeris sighed. “Well, looks like a flower girl’s work is never done.” She tucked away the guns and left the holocabana, walking with a sexy grace as “The Avengers” theme played in the background. ** THE SATELLITE OF LOVE “Afternoon, Aeris,” Sakura called out cheerfully. “You seem to be in a good mood today,” Aeris replied as she wandered onto the bridge. Sakura blushed slightly. “Well, Syaoran-kun and I have plans in the holocabana this evening,” “Oh?” said Tomoyo with a bemused smirk. “A romantic getaway, huh?” Meanwhile, Meiling muttered something under her breath and went back to work. “We haven’t had much time for dates lately,” said Syaoran. “But we’ve managed to come up with a wonderful program this time.” He reached out and pulled Sakura into his arms and the two began to tango about the room. Aeris and Tomoyo giggled. Yue just rolled his eyes. Meiling tried to restrain herself from putting her fist through the control console. “Yeah, yeah…” muttered Kero. “I am so sick of hearing Black Rose and Kite over there getting mushy.” Just then, a red light on the control console flashed. “Look alive,” called Tomoyo. “Magneto is calling.” She gave the button a smack. ** DEEP 13 The main lab of Deep 13 where Eriol conducted his experiments was looking quite a bit different today. Eriol’s assistants, TV’s Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun were busy directing lab workers who were busy stacking crates of watermelons with “Product of Okinawa” stamped on the side. “Just put them over there,” said Ruby Moon. “We’ll have to find space for them later.” Eriol rubbed his temples and let out a sigh before turning his attention to the viewscreen. “Oh, if it isn’t Chihiro and her friends. Nice to see you again,” he said. “Things are a bit busy down here today. Kaho finally managed to track down our missing fanboy and bring him back.” “I take it Mutsumi is still with him,” said Tomoyo. “What gave you that idea?” Eriol asked. “Call it a shot in the dark,” said Meiling gesturing to the crates of watermelons. Eriol sweatdropped. “Yes. Well… Unfortunately, Miss Otohime had a few suggestions for changes around here.” “All our interdepartmental mail is being delivered by flying turtles now,” said Spinel Sun. “Quiet!” Eriol hissed. “What’s the matter? Lost your touch?” Aeris said with a smirk. “Let’s put it this way,” said Ruby Moon. “If you were Mr. Fanboy and you had to choose between listening to four-eyes over there or a cute, stacked and unusually affectionate Okinawan girl, who would you choose?” Aeris paused to think about that for a moment. “Point taken.” “Quiet! All of you!” Eriol snapped. “Now you guys had better have a good Clow card this week.” ** THE SATELLITE OF LOVE “Well,” Sakura began uneasily. “I’ve decided once again to let Kero design a Clow card this week.” Kero puffed himself up and flew up to the viewscreen. “This week I designed a Clow card for all the Sailor Moon fanboys out there. It allows you to create your own clone senshi. Now you can have you own force of short skirted girls working as bodyguards or any other services you’d like.” “Kero…” Sakura began. “And I also created a version for the ‘Dead Or Alive’ girls,” Kero continued. “I call it ‘The Senshi’.” “I knew we shouldn’t have let him design another Clow card,” Yue muttered under his breath. Sakura let out a sigh. “What do you think, sirs?” ** DEEP 13 “Give me back that card, you miserable…” Eriol shouted as he chased a flying turtle that had gotten hold of his Clow card. He paused and turned back to the monitor. “Well… Today has been a real misery and I feel like sharing it. Your experiment is a CardCaptor Sakura and Ranma ½ melding called ‘First Release’ and it’s by an author called Wishbringer, who is about to grant my wish to make you suffer. Read it and weep.” “Get a hold of yourself, sir,” called Spinel Sun. “Damn turtles…” Eriol muttered. ** THE SATELLITE OF LOVE “There’s a man who needs help,” said Aeris. “You had better believe it,” muttered Tomoyo. Suddenly, alarms and sirens rang out. “OHHHH, WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!!” Sakura cried out. (Door 6: It’s a giant Clow card. Sakura changes it into a Sakura card and it disappears.) (Door 5: It’s a labyrinth. You smash through it with Kaho’s bell.) (Door 4: It’s a waterfall. You freeze it and smash through.) (Door 3: It’s a giant box of living plushies. It tips over and the plushies run off giggling.) (Door 2: It’s a Venetian blind. You spend five minutes trying to get it to roll up before cutting through it with scissors.) (Door 1: It’s made of concrete. The plushies come back with construction equipment and reduce it to dust.) (Door .7: The camera pans downward to a teleporter pad. You step onto it and are suddenly surrounded by bright light.) Sakura, Syaoran, Tomoyo and Aeris are teleported directly into their seats while Kero-Chan floats overhead. >From: "Mychal Watson" Syaoran: Elementary, my dear Watson. Sakura: Also known as the writing level we see the most. Tomoyo: Ouch! >Saturday, December 30, 2000 Aeris: Just before New Years, huh? Boy, have I got a resolution for you. >First Release Kero: Then flex your hand a couple of times to get the circulation going again. >Ranma 1/2 Card Captor Sakura X-over Sakura: Hopefully better than “The Ranma ½ Cast Does CCS”. Tomoyo: Amen. >By: Wishbringer Kero: So this fanfic was written by one of the Goddess Relief Hotline staff? Syaoran: Bell-chan! >Ranma 1/2 is owned by Rumiko Takashi, KITTY, Viz, and A lot of rich >folks Sakura: Wonder if she’s related to Yamazaki-kun Aeris: Though not as rich as Rumiko Takahashi, who apparently sold her shares. >CLAMP, Kodansha, and Nelvana own Card Captor Sakura. Kero: One of these things is not like the others. >wishbringer50@hotmail.com Syaoran: So there were forty-nine others who wanted that e-mail? Tomoyo: Belldandy must have quite the extended family. >Notes: This is a pre-story of my proposed crossover. Kero: Oh, crossover, will you marry me? Syaoran: “Pre-story”? I think the word we’re looking for is “prologue”. >I'm sitting here at home by myself and I just thought I'd jot this down while I'm >thinking about it. Aeris: Now that he thinks about it. Kero: He’s trying to develop his mental powers. Syaoran: Just you wait, Charles Xavier, I’ll show you! >The Ranma timeline I'm setting up is 1 year after >manga Vol. # 38. I might continue this if I get enough C&C. Tomoyo: Please God, let his mail box remain empty. >Also Do Be Gentle As this is my first story and a first copy so my spelling >might be bad. Sakura: Of course… Aeris: I would’ve spell checked it, but this is just the internet after all. Kero: All spelling mistakes are to be ingored. >Anyways, on with the story! Tomoyo: What’s the story, morning glory? >Prologue Kero: It was a dark and stormy night… > He finally had it in his grasp. The wishbringer sword. Sakura: ARGHHH!! SELF-INSERT!! RUN!! >The thing was it was down to its last wish. Tomoyo: Finally, I get to retire. Syaoran: Belldandy has a side job as a blacksmith? >Ranma stood in the Tendo Dojo, With Akane and Xian Pu while he pondered his situation. Aeris: Are you pondering what I’m pondering? Kero: I think so, Ranma. But what would we do with four hundred eggplant shaped sponges? Narf! >He could wish for an end to his curse but that would only seem to be a shallow wish. Tomoyo: The kind that fits Ranma perfectly. Syaoran: Gee… I’ve spent thirty-eight volumes searching for a way to ditch this curse but now… I dunno… >He had gotten use to his curse and had adapted it into his style of thinking. Kero: Plus, he liked looking at it in the mirror and… Sakura: That’s *your* style of thinking, Kero >The ultimate form of yin and yang. No, he had stopped looking for a >cure long after the battle with Saffron. He had gotten use to the idea >the curse was a part of his destiny. Aeris: It’s my only desssssstinnnnnnyyyyyy!!! Syaoran: Well, that makes sen--huh?! > While he thought, the others where waiting. The blade would only obey >Ranma now, so his rivals waited for the predictable " I wish to be cured >of my curse". Eventually it came to a point where impatience won and >they made their options voiced. Sakura: Options? What? Do they want free A/C or something? Tomoyo: As long as they don’t keep voicing “opinions”. >Akane: Ranma, Would You Please Hurry Up?!? Some Of Us Have Lives To >Continue, You Know! Syaoran: Geez… You wanted in surgery or somethin’?! Sakura: Wishbringer is a student of the Spam Mailers Writing Guild, I see. >Xian Pu: Aiyah! Perverted Girl Right! Shampoo Break Over In 15 Minuets! Kero: Fifteen minuets? Wow! Shampoo’s break time is measured in dances. Aeris: One, two, three… One, two, three… > Ranma chose to ignore this and finally came to a reilitazation. Syaoran: A WHAT?!?! Tomoyo: That spelling warning was more accurate than we thought. >All his life he had gone about the wishes of others and look what it brought >him. A curse that let him know more about females than a man should >know out side of biology, Rivals out the kazoo, All: Sakura: *There’s* a strange mental image for ya. >Power enough to kill a god, 3 Fiances, one a gaijin, 2 tomboys, 1 of witch is a homicidal >psycho maniac, Aeris: …and a partridge in a pear tree. Kero: Witch?! Is it the fortune telling sister from “Sister Princess” again? Syaoran: Nah. It’s just Kiki. She’s the one who delivered the sword. >and one that he loved as a sister and sometimes just cant >help but think is a guy! Sakura: Huh? Tomoyo: He means Ukyo. And he must be really slow to still think she’s a guy. >He had had it. Aeris: And so have we! Syaoran: Too bad the fic just started. > He had had enough of people having him doing what he wanted. Kero: How dare they make me do what I want to do and… Wait a sec… >What about him huh? What about his happiness. He had sacrificed enough to >other that the only thing that eluded him all this time was his own >happiness. Witch was this; Sakura: Kiki’s still there? Tomoyo: She’s waiting to be paid. Aeris: Arche Klane in a special cameo. >he wanted peace and appreciation. So, he thought, Why not wish it? > >Ranma: Wishbringer Sword, Hear Me And Obey. Kero: Hey! I’m the author here! I do all the ordering, got it? >Wishbringer: I HEAR AND OBEY, WHAT IS THINE WISH? Syaoran: Fix Your Damn Shift Key First, You Idiot. >Ranma: I wish for.... I Wish To Be Where I'm Needed and >Appreciated. Kero: As well as New and Improved… Syaoran: Also, I want a moon guardian. A cute one. Sakura: Sorry. Tasuke Shichiri got the last one. Syaoran: Damn! > Suddenly A Bright Flash Engulfed Ranma and the sword. He Barley had >time to utter out a yell or hear Xian Pu and Akane call for him. Tomoyo: Barley?! Aeris: This author doesn’t have a *grain* of sense left. >The light got brighter and the girls had to shield their eyes. When the >light faded, all that was left was Ranma's trademark Chinese Shirt, >Pants, and shoes. Sakura: Boy, is he going to be embarrassed when he reappears. >And the echo of the sword. >Wishbringer Wish...Granted... Syaoran: Alas, Ranma was stuck in limbo for three days while Yggdrasil processed him. Tomoyo: Skuld must’ve spilled ice cream on the controls again. > It was a rainy spring day in Nerima as the people closest to Ranma >Saotome gathered together at his funeral. Everyone was there. Aeris: We’re gathered here today to bury the clothes of Ranma Saotome, as that’s apparently all that’s left of him. >Ryouga with Akari, An expression of sadness etched upon his face along side >that of Akari. Tomoyo: So Akari was there? And she was next to Ryoga? Is that what you’re saying? Syaoran: Descriptive prose courtesy the Department Of Redundancy Department. >Nodoka, Weeping uncontrollably upon Genma's shoulder >while he was doing his best to comfort her and remain strong for her. Kero: They’re more upset about the story’s incoherent prose than Ranma being vaporized. Sakura: Can you blame them? >Soun was there as well, surprisingly not crying like always. The Tendo >sisters were wearing a black hat with matching veil over her face as >well as a black business suit. Kero: That had better be a big suit, hat and veil. Aeris: Wardrobe courtesy Rosanne Arnold. >Nabiki was crying as well upon Kasumi`s shoulder. Tomoyo: The financial opportunities… Gone… All gone… Waaaahhhh! > Kasumi was depressed, no longer wearing her fake cheerful smile. Akane >was not crying. Her crying was not finished, just paused. Sakura: Well, that makes sen--huh?!? >She had been crying non-stop for several days. Syaoran: She takes after Soun, I see. >The Nyuuchiezuu crew had left after Ranma's death as they said that their >business in Japan was finished. Ukyo had committed Seppuku after hearing of his death; >her last words beings that her and her Ranchan would be together even in death. Aeris: Give… my outfit… to Misao Makimachi… Tomoyo: What’s with the goofy wording in this fic? Sakura: Leete… Ummm… >The Kunos had finally snapped and had been placed in a mental institute. Kero: CRACK! Syaoran: ARGHH! My spine! Aeris: It took that long? > As the Casket was lowered into the ground Akane spoke the words she had >denied for 2 years. Sakura: Casket? What did they put in it? His clothes? Aeris: We had a funeral for you with a casket and everything. Syaoran: Well, what did you put in it? >Akane: Ranma, Aishiteru... Syaoran: Huh… Wishbringer’s Japanese is better than his English. >End Prologue. > >Glossary: > >Aishiteru: I Love You. Tomoyo: Whoa! Hold it! We just met! >Seppuku: Honorable Suicide Aeris: I’ve always wondered, what’s the difference between seppuku and hari-kari? Syaoran: I’ve been curious about that myself. >Notes: Sorry For Looking Like I Killed Ranma Off (I Didn't of course. >Ranma's the man) Kero: So to speak. >but that's the only way no one in the main time line >wouldn't try to find him. I Also like to apologize for killing Ukyo (I >Personally Love Her. Especially with Ryouga.) Aeris: Even more so with fava beans and a nice Chianti. Sakura: Aeris… >But I wanted to show her devotion to Ranma and I had No place to put her in the story. >There might be A lot Of Japanese In this story so I'll let you know what it >means. Syaoran: Translation: I have no clue how to write so I’m going to show off my vast repertoire of fandom Japanese. >I'd like A Few Pre-readers as well as a site host for this story >and some others I have coming. Tomoyo: God help them all… >Well, Till Next Time, Syaoran: Hey! That’s *my* line! >Oyasumi Nasai! (Goodnight!) Kero: And may God bless! >Wishbringer > >Next Time: Ranma's New Life and A Magic Book Tomoyo: Probably Haruka’s copy of “5000 Ways To Get Revenge” again. >Key: ><> - Acton Sakura: So, the fanfic is set in Ohio now? >() - Thought to us, my notes, or translation Kero: Depending on whatever grabs me at the time. >(#)- see notes Aeris: You know you’re in trouble when a fanfic needs more appendices than a dictionary. >** - Private thought Tomoyo: So don’t peek! > Open shot of black screen with a Sakura petal floats and creates a >water ripple and the words Original Characters created by CLAMP and >Rumiko Takashi appear. Sakura: You know, I heard Rumiko Takahashi and Mokona Apapa got into a huge fight over who got top billing. Tomoyo: And they didn’t even spell it right, dammit! > Music of Catch you, Catch Me Begins as Sakura steps upon the petal. The >camera floats up to show Sakura in a red dress with white wings, long >socks, red shoes, and matching hat floating with her eyes closed. At >the up keying of pianos we see the front of the dress, to Sakura's >leggings and tapping her foot, to Sakura smiling cutely and flashing the >back of a Clow Card. Sakura: Oh dear God… Syaoran: He’s re-creating the entire opening sequence?! > The peppy music continues as we read in Katana Sakura Ranma and a >Sakura petal float over it. Tomoyo: “Katana Sakura Ranma”?! What the--?! >Aitaina Aenaina Tsutsunaina Kono Kimochi > >(I want to see you but I can't see you. This felling I have is so >lonely) Kero: Further proof that musical numbers don’t work in fanfics. Sakura: And I thought Hotaru’s singing was gratuitous. > We see Sakura rollerblading in a sailor fuku. The camera is coming >closer and closer to her face. She has a hopeful expression Tomoyo: Hoping for what? Sakura: That the fanfic will be over soon. Aeris: I’ll settle for an end to this boneheaded text opening. >Ienaino Iitaino Chansu Nogashita Bakari > >(I want to tell you but I can't tell you. I keep missing my chance) Kero: I keep landing on Community Chest instead! Damn! > Close-up of Sakura with a faint blush upon her face, looking up to a >person in from what we see a light blur sports jacket. We then see >Sakura pop up with a cute yet determined look on her face mouthing >Chansu. We then see quickly Sakura blushing and looking away from >Ryouga. Sakura: *Excuse* me?! Ryoga?! Kero: Yue with adorable fangs? I don’t think so. >He disappears and is replaced by Tomoyo, Kero, and Ranma. >Tomoyo has a portable camera; Syaoran: What?! Really?! How long were you going to hide that from us, Daidouji? Tomoyo: Damn. You caught me. >Ranma has a kind expression on his face >while Kero is trying to call attention to Sakura. All Are Smiling Save >For Sakura, Who is looking around for Ryouga Aeris: Alas, he must be lost again. >Datte Datte Tsubasagi No Ge Futari De > >(But still, But still I want to spread my wings with you) Kero: Er… No comment. > Close Up of Sakura's Key while we focus upon Ranma making a Moku >Takabisha. Sakura: Oh, great. As if it wasn’t bad enough I had to split top billing with Syaoran-kun in “CardCaptors” and now this. Err… No offense, dear. Syaoran: None taken. >Sora O Marason Yume O Unison Shita > >(Marathon across the skies and have dreams in unison with you) Tomoyo: Do we have the right lyrics here? I don’t remember our theme song being so awkwardly worded. > Ranma fades from view as we see Sakura run in a hail of Sakura Petals >eventually jumping into the dress we saw her in at the beginning. Aeris: Boy, these directorial flairs are really something, huh? >Hora Catch You Catch You Catch Me Catch Me Matte > >(Now) > (Wait for Me) Kero: C’moooon! Wait up! > Quick flashes of Tomoyo and Akane in sailor fukus, smiling. Ryouga >with a bag of Pork Buns about to eat one. Ranko with a bike on her >shoulder standing with Ranma. Nodoka Making Pancakes. And Kero eating a >squid ball Sakura: Okay, author. We get it. Kero: I never thought anyone could screw up this song, but now… >Kocchi O Muite Suki Da Toite > >(Look Over Here and tell Me You Love Me) Tomoyo: Whoa! Hey! We just met! > Ranma and Kasumi on a rooftop. Ranma is in his school uniform, holding >onto Kasumi while Kasumi, also in school uniform, is holding on Ranma's >arms. Both are looking out onto the skyline. Syaoran: ‘Cause, remember this is *Ranma’s* show. Sakura: If that’s the case, kill me now. >Sou Nice to Meet You Good to See You Kitto > >(Yes) (I'm sure of it) Tomoyo: Yes. This must be the correct translation! > Sakura takes off on her staff with wings in the sky in the same dress >from the beginning. Kero follows in a spiral next to her. Kero: ARGHHHH! Help me! I’m caught in a tail spin! >Atashi No Hou Anata No Haato Ni Donde Donde Donde Ike > >(Let my feelings fly, fly, fly, away to your heart) Aeris: Fly! Be free! > Sakura and Kero are flying together. Camera pans to close-up of >Sakura's face. Syaoran: Ah! Something good on the screen! Sakura: Syaoran-kun… >Ko I Shi Te Ru > >(I'm In Love!) Aeris: That’s nice. Really. Tomoyo: I just feel so love again… Kero: We’d better pry the boss away from those “Mamotte Shugogetten” episodes. Syaoran: Yeah. Or soon he’ll replace us with Shaolin, Tasuke and the rest. Sakura: Umm… Guys? Fourth wall? > Flashes of Sakura in Same Dress while words are said in a variety of >poses with a Sakura petal added each time. After final petal (there are >a total of five) we see Sakura running under a shower of Sakura petals. >On a bridge we see a far of shot of Sakura, Tomoyo, Akane, and Ranko. >As they start talking and walking, music fades, screen fades to black, >and we see one final Sakura petal flutter and ultimately disappear. Tomoyo: Oh, great… Now I’m sharing a shot with *them*… Geez… > Chapter One: Ranma's New Life and A Magic Book Kero: A necromnicon? What am I going to do with this? > Monday, April, 21st 1997 Sakura: A day that will live in infamy… > I'm dreaming again. It's the same dream. Tomoyo: I was in a place where the Earth and the moon hang in the sky. Aeris: Hitomi! We found you again! Sakura: Cute… >I see a book with a funny looking lion on it and The Clow written in romanji. Kero: Funny looking…? Hey! >It opens and I see me on the top of a building at night looking at Tokyo Tower. I'm holding >a weird looking staff with little wings. By my side is a weird looking stuffed animal. Kero: HEY!! Syaoran: He sure has you pegged, plushie. > I leap of the building and just when I can't see anything.... Aeris: Swift. >BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Kero: Hey! That truck in the alley is backing-up. Sakura: Oops… It’s my pager. > I wake up. Tomoyo: Oh, please let this just be another installment of “The Next Generation”. Sakura: Let’s go, Kou! >Sakura: Hoe? > > Hi there! Saotome Sakura will be here in 5.4.3.2.1. All: In the not to distant future… Sakura: Sakura SAOTOME?! Kero: Wishbringer must have attended the same school of crossover writing as Khyron Kingkiller and Joyce Wakabayashi. >Sakura: Hooooeeeeeeeee! I'm late! Aeris: There seems to be a lot of that going around. Tomoyo: God help her during daylight savings time. > We now see a girl of about 14 years of age. Sakura: Fourteen?! I was ten, you dolt! >She has short auburn hair with long bangs and emerald green eyes. She reaches about 5'1 and is >wearing pink pajamas with yellow trim on the sleeves. Aeris: Sakura’s wardrobe courtesy Fredrick’s of Tomoeda. >She is Currently getting her school clothes ready. Syaoran: But she’s still in bed… >Sakura: (I'm Saotome Sakura. I'm 14 years old Third Dan belt of the >Saotome School of Anything Goes Kendo and Unarmed Martial Arts, and a >second-year class student in Tomoeda Junior High School.) Sakura: Oh, really… Aeris: “Kendo and Unarmed Martial Arts”? Isn’t that an oxymoron? Kero: The Kunos must be involved in this somehow. > Now dressed in her school outfit, which consists of a white sailors >hat, a black top with white and red line trim on the collar and cuffs, >completed with a white skirt knee high socks and black flats, she rushes >down the stairs to breakfast. Sakura: I didn’t wear knee socks with that uniform, doofus. Syaoran: What? A mistake in the carefully described wardrobe? I’m shocked! >Mother: Ohayou Sakura-Chan! > >Sakura: Ohayou Okasan! Tomoyo: Ohayo gozaiimaaaaasssuuuu!!! >Brother: Ohayou, Sakura-Chan! > >Sakura: Ohayou, Ranma-niichan! Tomoyo: Ohayo, Chief. Kero: Ohayo, McCloud! >Sister: "The kaijuu actually woke up by herself? Repent, the end is >nigh!" Aeris: Forsooth, kaijuu, I would date with thee! Sakura: Ick! > Sakura pouts. The sister then set a coffee cup on her head. Sakura >throws a fit with her arms raised and hands in fists rotating rapidly; a >vein is seen growing in the back of her head. > >Sakura: Arrr! Ranko-neesan! You're so mean! Sakura: Arrr! Ye’ll walk the plank, matey! > We see whom Sakura has been talking to. A woman with brown hair with >reddish tints standing 5`6. She has on a light brown business suit and >black pumps. She has on a white chef's robe at the moment over the >suit. Syaoran: Is he talking about Ranko? Tomoyo: We haven’t heard from her since “Neon Ranma Evangelion”. Kero: I wonder if she’s still a clam. Aeris: Huh? Kero: You had to be there. >That's Sakura's mother, Saotome Nodoka, Age 38. She's a college >professor, Grandmaster and occasional teacher of the Saotome School of >Anything Goes Kendo. Syaoran: Or… not. >Her meanie of a sister is seen with long red hair >in a ponytail and green eyes standing at 5`4. Kero: Her measurements are… Sakura: Stop right there. > She is wearing a light blue sports jacket over a white dress shirt with >a black tie along with a white knee high skirt, medium length socks and >black flats. She does not need makeup, as she is beautiful enough >without it. Kero: I smell fanboy. Syaoran: Careful, plushie. You-Know-Who is a fanboy too. >That's Sakura's older sister Saotome Ranko, Age 18. Third >Dan belt of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Kendo and Unarmed >Martial Arts, and a third-year class student in Tomoeda High School. Tomoyo: What’s with the resume? Is she Kuno now? Aeris: The Red Lightning of Tomoeda High! > Her brother is seen with long black hair in a pigtail and blue eyes >upon a hansom face standing at 5`11. He is wearing the same outfit as >her sister except long black jeans instead of a skirt and black dress >shoes. Kero: Thanks for clearing up that horrid mental image of Ranma-kun in a skirt, fanfic. Sakura: Ick! >That's Sakura's Older Brother and Ranko's twin brother Saotome >Ranma, Age 18. Third Dan belt of the Saotome School of Anything Goes >Kendo, Grandmaster of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Unarmed >Martial Arts, and a third-year class student in Tomoeda High School. Syaoran: Yadda, yadda, yadda… Aeris: Is this a fanfic or an episode of “Biography”? >Sakura: (Where's my Tou-chan? Oh, he died when I was 3. I suppose I >should miss him. And I do in my own way. I do miss the chance of >getting to know him.) Kero: Genma? Consider yourself lucky you didn’t. Syaoran: I have a hard time picturing Daidouji Sonomi-san pining forever over the loss of Genma. Tomoyo: You’re probably right. > Ranma tells me he was a strict teacher. Even stricter than him when he >trains me! But that he was a good and loyal man under all the hard >layers. Ranko says that he was a great guy to be around when he wasn't >in sensei mode. Sakura: Yeah. That describes Genma all right. Syaoran: Maybe Nodoka just taught them all never to speak ill of the dead. >At least I still have Okassan and Ranma-niichan. >And even Ranko-neechan. I love them all. Especially when she isn't >being a bully to me! > >Ranma: Ranko, please stop picking on your sister. Aeris: This fanfic sure is doing everything in its power to make Ranma look good, ne? Kero: How so? Aeris: He gets to be the protective older brother like Touya, but foists off all his irritating traits on Ranko. >Ranko: Alright Niichan. But the kaijuu brought it on herself. > >Sakura : H-H-H...How can you say that? You're the one picking >on me! Tomoyo: Really? Gee, I hadn’t noticed. >Nodoka: Both of you stop that. Sakura, eat your breakfast and hurry up >or you'll be late for school. Sakura: And if you step out of line again, I’ll force you all to commit seppuku, get it? >Ranko: Already done kassan. I'll be studying with Ryouga-kun and >Nabiki-chan tonight so I'll be late getting home. Syaoran: Whoa! Hold it a second! Sakura: What is it? Syaoran: When Ranma made that wish at the beginning of the fic he was the only one who disappeared, right? So why the hell is the rest of the cast here too? Certainly Tomoeda doesn’t qualify as an alternate universe. Aeris: Huh… I hadn’t thought of that… >Nodoka: That's all right. Ranma? What about you? > >Ranma: Studying with Kasumi-chan till 7:00. Then I'll be home to watch >Sakura-chan. Tomoyo: It’s good that you want to take care of your sister. Sakura: No. I mean I’ll be home to watch “Sakura Wars”. It’s on at five. >Sakura: Mou! I don't need a babysitter Ranma-niichan! > >Ranma: Well, In that case you don't need an escort either! Ranko-chan, >Let's go. Kero: TO THE BATMOBILE! >Ranko: Bye kaijuu. I'll say hi to >Ryouga-kun for you! Sakura: Thanks. I’d rather you didn’t. >Nodoka: Ranma-chan, Ranko-chan. Here are your bentos > >Ranma and Ranko: Thanks, Okassan. Itterasshai! Syaoran: Uh… Maybe my Japanese is a bit rusty, but doesn’t “Itterasshai” mean “Have a safe trip”? Therefore, logically Nodoka should be saying it to them rather than the other way around? >Nodoka: Ittekimasu! Syaoran: But they already ate breakfast… Kero: Eh… wouldn’t be the first time an author got his Japanese lines wrong. >Sakura: M- M- Matte! Tomoyo: You sure do stutter a lot in this fic, Sakura-chan. Sakura: Oh, who asked you? > In a trademark Saotome flash, Sakura wolves down the entire breakfast >and drink. There are tears in her eyes as she finishes. Kero: Funny, I thought Nodoka made breakfast, not Akane. Aeris: Ouch! >Nodoka: Do you want seconds? > >Sakura: Sakura: I’ve been poisoned enough today. >Nodoka: Ok then. Here's your bento. Sakura: Obviously you didn’t hear what I just said. > We see Sakura getting ready to leave. She straps on her pair of roller >blades. They are pink (natch) with yellow Velcro pads. She slaps on >matching knee, elbow, and wrist guards. We see her take off to catch up >to her arrant twins. Aeris: Say what you will about the grammar, plot, spelling and characterization, Wishbringer is very careful about letting us know about wardrobe changes. Syaoran: Sounds like you, Daidouji. Tomoyo: Hey! Sakura: By the way, my rollerblading pads are red, not pink. >Nodoka: Itterasshai! > >Sakura: Ittekimasu! Kero: God… It’s like “The True Power Of Love” all over again. Sakura: So you are the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High. Well, I am the guardian of the hell. > We see Sakura race off to school. At one point, she is under a tree >fluttering layers of falling sakura petals. She finally caught up to >Ranma and Ranko. Ranma was walking alongside Ranko, who was riding a >bike slowly. Tomoyo: Apparently Nodoka could only afford one bike. Sakura: If she can’t go faster on that thing than she could on foot, what’s the point? >Ranko: Well, looks like the kaijuu finally caught up. > >Ranma: I thought you didn't need a chaperone Sakura-chan. Sakura: Ha, ha! Bite me, “oniichan”. >Sakura: A.. Well (thinking) it's >because you walk with HIM! All: Dum-Dum-DUUUMMMM!! Sakura: Ranma walks to school with God every morning? That is impressive. >Strange voice: Ohayou, Ranma-kun! Kero: Watch out for snakes! Syaoran: Oh great. Disembodied voices again. Tomoyo: Washu, where did this damn teleporter take us now? > We see three figures. One is a girl of Sakura's age. She's wearing a >school outfit the same style as that of Sakura standing at 5`5. Her >black hair is cut in a tomboyish way and her beep brown eyes express >mischief. Her name is Tendo Akane. Kero: Akane? Mischief? Sakura: Hey! My name ain’t Marina Liteyears! Syaoran: We’re on a collision course with wackiness! >14 years old, Second Dan belt of the Tendo School of Anything Goes >Unarmed Martial Arts, One of Sakura's best friends, and a second-year >class student in Tomoeda Junior High School. Aeris: Okay! We get it already! Sakura: Well, this is the first Ranma fic we’ve had in a while that doesn’t engage in rampant Akane bashing, so I guess that’s a plus. > The other figure is a girl closer to Ranma and Ranko's age. She is >wearing Ranko's style of school clothes. She has a lovely sheen of >brown hair, and has a long ponytail with a matching blue scrunchie. The >girl with a long ponytail a slightly angled face, and had a faint blush >on her cheeks that made her look radiant. Syaoran: Bell-chan? What are you doing here? Sakura: Urd told me it would surprise you if I wore schoolgirl clothes today. Kero: Saaaaaayyy… >Standing at 5'6, her name is Tendo Kasumi. All: Oh… Aeris: Close enough. >18 years old, Ranma's girlfriend, and a third-year class >student in Tomoeda High School. All: WHA--?! Kero: Hey! Way to go, Ranma! >The final figure was a boy of Ranma's age. He is wearing Ranma's exact >school uniform. He had a crown of unruly black hair on top of a sharply >angled face with deep brown eyes, which he kept in line with a light >blue bandana. Syaoran: Can’t be Ryoga. His bandana is orange and black. >Standing at 5'11, his name is Hibiki Ryouga. 17 years >old, Ranma's best friend, and a third-year class student in Tomoeda High >School. Sakura: Well, if they’re the same age doesn’t that kinda go without saying? Tomoyo: Eh… The author is just trying to pad out the story a bit. >Ranma: Ohayou, Ryouga-kun! Ohayou, Kasumi-chan! Kasumi on her cheek> All: Awwwww… Sakura: We may be wading into WAFF territory here. >Kasumi: Ohayou Ranma-chan. so, you >finally decided to join us ne, Sakura-chan? All: Join us… Join us… Join us… >Sakura: N- N- Nani?!? You've been waiting for me. Sakura: I’ve been set up! Tomoyo: You walked right into our trap, my pretty. >Ranko: Of Course, Ranma would never go without seeing the kaijuu off. > > Sakura steps on Ranko's foot. Ranko looks down, as she is obviously >holding a scream of pain. Ranma looks on with a sweat drop forming on >the back of his head. As soon as Ranko recovers, the group moves on to >school. Kero: Boy am I glad I only took Touya’s good traits. That could have been me. >Ryouga: Ja ne, Sakura-chan > >Sakura: Huh? Aeris: Who’s this Jane person? >Ryouga: We're at your school. Syaoran: Conveniently, five seconds away from where they stopped. > Obviously disappointed to know what she will find, she turns around to >find her school plaque naming her school. Tomoyo: Ohtori Academy…? >Ryouga: Oh, Sakura-chan, matte. > >Sakura: Hoe? Kero: Geez… Wishbringer is about two steps from all Japanese dialogue. > Ryouga picks a simple flower and puts it in Sakura's hair. Ranko >seethes while Sakura blushes fire engine red. Tomoyo: Awwww…. How KAWAII!! Sakura: Tomoyo-chan… >Ryouga: Ja ne, Sakura > >Sakura: ... Sakura: Umm… Line? >Ranko: come on everyone, let's go! Aeris: How insecure do you have to be to be jealous of a fourteen year old? Kero: Yo! Mr. Pedophile! Get a move on! Syaoran: HEY!! > The older kids leave leaving Sakura and Akane at the school gates. Tomoyo: Engaging in redundant redundancies along the way. >Akane: Wow. That Ryouga's a smooth operator, ne Sakura-chan? > >Girl: Very smooth move he did just there. Must do it all the time. > >Sakura: Hoe? Syaoran: Yeah. Ryoga is such a ladies’ man. Tomoyo: You’re one to talk, Mr. Blush and Babbler. Syaoran: Can it, Daidouji. > Sakura and Akane both turn to the speaker. Syaoran: What? Are they members of congress now? Tomoyo: GAH! Who put this giant stereo here?! >She stands at about 5'1, wearing the same outfit as the other girls. Her hair is dark gray and >waist length. It's Daidouji Tomoyo. 14 years old, one of Sakura's best >friends, and a second-year class student in Tomoeda Junior High School. Kero: No?! Really?! Aeris: Okay, to recap we have thorough descriptions of the height, age, appearance and class levels of the principal characters and so far the story is… um… the story is… >Tomoyo: Oh, yes, and I got it all on my V8! I think I'll call it >"Sakura Charmed" Syaoran: Hi! I’m Asuka. Asuka Langley Sohryu. Charmed, huh? Kero: That… was creepy. >Sakura: (thinking) Tomo-chan has a thing about getting everything >Akane-chan or I do on film. Hoe! I wish I were with Ryouga-san and >Ranma-niichan now! Sakura: That girl with the camera is SCARY! Syaoran: Tomo-chan? Hotaru is here? Kero: After Chibi-Usa found out she was at Hogwarts, Hotaru made a quick transfer in hopes of finally ditching the pink haired parasite. > Speaking of Ranma, Let's join him in class at Tomoeda High. He's >staring out the window, pondering on how his life has changed and...Huh? Tomoyo: My Mother just called me to dinner, guys. I gotta go. >Ranma: (thinking) Huh, finally getting to me ne? > >Yea. Aeris: CRASH! RUMBLE! CRASH!! Sakura: Well, that pretty much blew the fourth wall to dust. >Ranma: (thinking) what took you so long? > >Had to introduce Tomo-chan Syaoran: Her brother, Enishi, insisted and I wasn’t about to turn him down. Sakura: Cute… >Ranma: (thinking) I see. I know you're wondering how the hell I ended >up here, ne? > >No because I know already. Sakura: And so do we. So why are we going back to this? >Ranma: (thinking) Wishbringer? > >Yea? Kero: Shouldn’t we be making at least some effort to keep the suspension of disbelief going instead of smashing the fourth wall with this inane conversation? >Ranma: (thinking) just plays along and don't inject yourself like this >till the end, ok? Tomoyo: Inject yourself ? Kero: Draw your own conclusions, folks. >Yes sir. Aeris: Yes, sir… >Ranma: (thinking) Anyways, I know you're wondering how the hell I ended >up here, ne? Well it goes back to the wish I made a while ago, you >know, " I Wish To Be Where I'm Needed and Appreciated." Well here I am, >were I'm appreciated. Syaoran: But not anymore I’m afraid. Sakura: Well, Wishbringer, you’ve finally managed to completely vaporize any traces of believability from this story. Good job. >It cost me A lot, though. Kero: And if I can’t pay by Tuesday, they’ll break my kneecaps! >Oyaji's dead. Turns out here, he was an honorable guy with a lot of good old common sense. Syaoran: Who knew? Aeris: Certainly not us. Or any other readers of Ranma ½, I suspect. > Flashback: Tomoyo: Subtle… Kero: Ah… The Lady Yuy School of Flashback Writing… It’s been a while. >Ranma: (remembering) we still went to Jusenkyo, when I was 11 this time. >We never got the chance to train and be cursed all over again though. >As we where attacked by the Nyuuchiezuu. Oyaji and I took off when they >started chucking spears. Apparently it's holy ground here. The guide >tricked us. Before I thought he took us there because Oyaji had the >nerve to pay to go there. From what I gather it's now an unofficial >prison camp and cursed spring. Tomoyo: Ummm… Okay. Syaoran: It’s like we’ve wandered into a bad Indiana Jones rip-off. > When one of the warriors chucked a spear at me, he got in the way. It >pierced through his heart. He died almost instantly. Sakura: Ouch. Aeris: That’s not quire as bad as being run through the mid-section by a long sharp sword, but that’s still pretty bad. >That's when the wishbringer sword brought me in. Apparently I was going to die here to, >but because I would be needed to be a pillar now that Oyaji died, I >needed to live, and I was going to just that. Kero: Stay alive! Whatever may occur, I will find you! >(Note: here cannon Ranma will be Ranma c and CCS Ranma will be >Chibi-Ranma) Tomoyo: As opposed to Ranma A and Ranma B? Kero: Nah. Too easy. >Ranma c: Hey Ranma > >Chibi Ranma: N- N- Nani? Who are you? > >Ranma c: Silly question, I'm you Sakura: Oh, *good one*, Ranma. You just created a time paradox. Aeris: Yeah. Way to summon the sudden heat death of the universe. Syaoran: Okaaaaay… >Chibi-Ranma: Nana? I'm me! Kero: Hey! I’m nobody’s Nana! I’m a guy, dammit! Tomoyo: I wonder if Saki and Mio are here too. >Ranma c: Let me put it like this, I'm a Ranma that could have been. Tomoyo: Makes him sound like one of the ghosts of Christmas, doesn’t it? Syaoran: Dickens this isn’t. >Chibi-Ranma: Am I dead? > >Ranma c: No, but you will be. Kero: Or you’ll probably wish you were once you read some more of this narrative. Aeris: Well, this is slightly less surreal than the average episode of “Saikano”. >Chibi-Ranma: How can I stop this? > >Ranma c: Let me merge with you. I can take care of them and avenge >Tousan Kero: Merge?! All: Eeeeeeeewwwww… Sakura: Thank you so much for *that* nauseating mental image, Ranma. >Chibi-Ranma: How? > >Ranma: Leave that to me kid, ne? Syaoran: Just call me “Beaver”! >Chibi-Ranma: Will you look after Okaasan, Ranko-neechan, and >Sakura-neechan for me? Syaoran: So they’re suddenly his *older* sisters? Sakura: Eh, cut the guy some slack. So he doesn’t know that he would call them his “imouto-chan”. Kero: If he can’t get his fandom Japanese right, he shouldn’t use it. >Ranma c: Of course, there family aren't they? Kero: There… There family… There wolf… >Chibi-Ranma: Well alright. > >Ranma c: Good now close your eyes Aeris: And you will get a big surprise! > My sprit took a hold of his young soul, and after a surviving a painful >merging, my mind was flooded with images of birth, my childhood, >Sakura's birth, Chibi-Ranma's words to Sakura, promising to protect her >always, and the latest images up to seeing Oyaji's death. Tomoyo: Hey! It’s a flashback and a flash-forward ! Syaoran: Our minds are melding… We are becoming one… >After seeing Oyaji laying there, dying to protect me, and the memories flooding me of >what a great dad he had been, I snapped. Cologne always said I had a >talent. The Nyuuchiezuu found out the hard way how talented I am. Kero: Must… not… say… it… Sakura: Oh my GOD!! That tap dance routine is so perfectly timed and choreographed! RUN!! Tomoyo: Ranma was reborn into his new life as Fred Astaire. >Ranma: " Mouko Shoten Ha" Kero: Wha--?! Shouldn’t that be “Hiryu Shoten Ha”? Syaoran: Oh, great… Now his just pulling brand new attacks out of his— Sakura: Syaoran… Syaoran: …hat. >Ranma: (remembering) the blast was incredible to say the least. All I >remember was my hands in front of me and releasing a dark ki ball. >After doing so, I blacked out. Aeris: Oohhh… Another *revised* form of the Shishi Hokodan. Sakura: This author just has no originality. >When I cam to, I was surrounded by death. My father's body was still there with the spear sticking out of >him. I looked around and all I saw where dead Nyuuchiezuu all around. Tomoyo: The latest film by Steven Spielberg, “Saving Private Ranma”… > The first thing I did was burry Oyaji. Syaoran: Oh brother… He can’t even spell “bury” right. >Afterwards, I looked for the corps of Cologne. Kero: Cologne has her own marine unit now? Aeris: One thousand men will fight one day, but only one wears the Cologne Beret. >I found it and buried her as well. > >Ranma: Thank you Cologne-sensei. Aeris: Thank you, thank yooou, Coloooogne! > Afterwards I left. There was no reason to remain. I called Okassan >and told her what happened. I took the next plane out to China and >returned to Japan. Sakura: Uhh… How did he manage to book a plane ticket with no money or phone or anything? Tomoyo: The same way Star Kinomoto did, I guess. >Albeit with a twist, the sword helped me to be >appreciated. It also stayed with me, saying in it's own way that it >would be my pillar when I needed that strength. The girls took to me >quickly. Kero: Girls dig a guy with a nice sword. Sakura: Kero… >Especially Sakura-chan. Sakura:Oh, *really*? Syaoran: Calm down, dear. > The people I treasure now are the people who I am now their pillar for. >I will die for my family like Oyaji did. Tomoyo: Really? I’m glad to hear that. Why don’t you demonstrate how you’d do that right now. Aeris: Ouch! > End Flashback Kero: Too bad it isn’t “End Fic” >Ranma: (thinking) Thank you wishbringer. You brought me a loving family >and friends I can count on. I wonder though, when will I be needed >again? I have a feeling that the day will soon come that you will call >on my power upon again. Syaoran: Your plot contrivances blatantly skewed in my favor have given me a reason to live. Sakura: If he starts craving strawberries, I’m leaving >Sensei: Ranma! > >Ranma: Wha? > >Sensei: Buckets, Hall, Now! Aeris: No flashbacks in my classroom, young man! >Ranma: Hai, Iwao-sensei. Aeris: Yes, ma’am! Syaoran: Iwao-sensei? Tomoyo: Sounds familiar. Kero: Nothing like a poorly crafted in-joke to relieve the boredom. Sakura: Also on staff are Tange-sensei, Hisakawa-sensei and Kumai-sensei. > Later: at the Saotome home Kero: Stately Saotome Manor… >Sakura: Tadiama! Hoe? Aeris: You think he means “Tadaima”? Sakura: He can’t spell in English, why should he be any better in Japanese? Tomoyo: Welcome home! Welcome back! Welcome to your humble shack! >Sakura: Sakura-chan, >In dojo training. >Will be done in an hour. Tomoyo: Won’t write complete sentence until later. >Don't ruin your appetite. >Dinner will be ready soon. >Okassan will be home at 9:00 tonight as will Ranko. Sakura: Uh… If no one’s cooking, how will dinner be ready soon? >Love, Syaoran: Your imagination friend, Hank. >Ranma-niichan. > >Sakura: Oh, Okassan will be late again. Kero: Usagi Syndrome strikes agaian! > Grumble.... Aeris: Gee, even the author is getting sick of this story. >Sakura: Hoe? > > As Sakura prepares the table for dinner for her and Ranma she hears a >Grumble coming from her okassan's study. Kero: It’s coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!! >Sakura: *Could it be a burglar? If it is I can handle them with my >bokken.* Tomoyo: Sakura Saotome *IS* Motoko Aoyama!! > Sakura reaches into a bag with her name on it in romanji. In it she >pulls out a basic bokken. After a bit of sneaking around, she deduces >the sound as coming from her mother's study. Kero: She read the narration. Sakura: So I’m a kendoist instead of a cheerleader? Syaoran: Personally, I think you look better in the cheerleader outfit. Sakura: Syaoran… Aeris: Smooooth. >Upon entering, we see the study is really more that of a library than a study, with many books >from her mother's studies and travels as both a professor and student in >her art. We also see many scrolls indicating martial arts moves from >her father's style. Finally, she comes across a book. It glows a >golden hue and the side reads in romanji, The Clow. Syaoran: Thanks for pointing that out. I thought she’d found the Millennium Puzzle. >Sakura:*That book...It's like the one from my dream!* > > She turns the book around, there is an image of a beast. Kero: I don’t remember Clow inscribing a “666” on the cover of the book. >It looks like a mix of a lion and a bear with wings. The book has a latch on it that >suddenly pops off as Sakura sees it. Opening the book, Sakura sees an >image of a human woman with pointy ears, angelic wings and what appears >to be a crown of sorts and long flowing hair. There is a caption in >romanji as well as kanji that reads The Windy. Sakura: I only remember the English characters on the cards. Syaoran: I think he means the character at the top of the card. Kero: Clow, not being Japanese, would have had a hard time writing in kanji, I suspect. >Sakura: Hmmm...Let's see win...win...Windy? Tomoyo: That stuttering of yours is getting worse, Sakura-chan. Sakura: Oh, be quiet. > As Sakura was reading the card and walking away from the bookshelf, a >trail of smoke followed her and as she read the card's name, a lighted >pentagram surrounded Sakura Syaoran: Pentagram?! Kero: First beasts, now pentagrams. Wishbringer’s convinced that book was the work of the devil. >and a mighty gust of wind shoomed up, and >the light from the pentagram forced Sakura to close her eyes. As her >eyes where closed, the cads from the book save for Windy where scattered >and took off at random places. As, the last card left, the pentagram >dissapears and the spell has lost it's effect. All: Wah-wah-wah-waaaaaahhhh! > Sakura collapses to the ground in shock and relief that the event seem >to be over, when the book glows yet again. Sakura: Wow… I somehow remember this whole thing being more exciting. Aeris: I get the impression that Wishbringer could make “Pulp Fiction” seem bland. >This time, what appears to be a yellow stuffed animal with eyes closed, big ears, wings and a >fluffy puff at the end of a tail. As he opened his small beady eyes, >he uttered a single phrase. Tomoyo: I am the guardian of the hell. Syaoran: Obey me! I am Gor! >Creature: Hey- Hey- Hoo! Kero: Oh dear God… Syaoran: Very eloquent dialogue you have, plushie. Kero: Shut up! Aeris: Tea! I need more tea! >Sakura: hoe? > >Creature: Well, I'm surprised you where able to wake me up! Aeris: “Were” am I anyway? >Sakura: Osaka-ben? Tomoyo: So after all that’s happened, the most shocking thing is Kero’s accent? Sakura: Apparently. >Creature: Well, the book's been in Osaka for so long, I got the >accent... Aeris: That’s his story anyway. > He didn't finish as Sakura grabbed the creature and bended and twisted >the creature into several positions. Sakura: Not a word, Kero… Kero: I can’t. I’m having some painful flashbacks here. >Sakura: Where's the battery outlet? Where's the voice coming from? Tomoyo: Since when do they make Furbys with wings? >Creature: Oy! What do you think you're doin'? I'm no toy! book, arms crossed> I'm Keroberos! Fuuin no Kemono who guards this >book! Aeris: Fuuin no Kemono? Is that anything like Suzaku no Miko? Syaoran: Miaka! Sakura: Tamahome! Syaoran: Miaka! Sakura: Tamahome! Syaoran: Miaka! Sakura: Tamahome! Kero: Oh, bite me… >Sakura: Seal.. Keroberos? > >Keroberos: Yep. Looking after the cards so they don't do anything bad >is my du... Syaoran: …mb job because they wouldn’t trust me with anything more complicated. Kero: Watch it, brat. >verry shocked> Arrrrgghh! The cards are Gone! Why, why, why?!? Syaoran: Smooth. Kero: I’m warning you… Aeris: Why?! Why?! Oh wwwhhhhyyyyyyyyyy?! >Sakura: This? > >Keroberos: Yea, yea! And the other cards? Sakura: Some guy named Marik Ishtar came and stole them all. Kero: Yes! With these cards and the Millennium Puzzle, I shall rule the world! Aeris: If that plot involves brainwashing poor Tea Gardener again, I’m leaving. >Sakura: I read the word Windy, there was a gust of wind, and the cards >flew away! > >Keroberos: Souka!Demon Head Move> NANI?!? Kero: I’m Soun Tendo?! What the-- > Scene shift to an hour later in the kitchen. Sakura is doing the >Saotome speed eating technique while a stunned Ranma watches. Sakura is >in her pajamas while Ranma is wearing his white sleeveless chinese shirt >with matching white jeans and white shoes. Aeris: This outfit represents, I dunno, the purity of his resolve or something. Sakura: Wishbringer’s only real talent seems to be describing the various costumes. >Sakura: Thanks, Onii-chan, good as always. one of Ranko's sweet cakes. She takes of to her room> Sakura: I thought I’d be getting pudding. Tomoyo: Eh, Wishbringer is just feeling a tad compelled to rewrite minor details so that he seems more original. >Ranma: Where are you going with that? > >Sakura: I'll eat it in my room while I study. > >Ranma: Ok, remember bead at 9:30! Syaoran: We need to finish those necklaces for the school fund raiser. >Sakura: Hai! > > Scene shift to her room Kero (i'll call him Kero or Kero-chan from now >on) is floating above the Clow book and glowing. He has a concentrating >look on his face as Sakura enters Aeris: New Look from Concentrate! Kero: I learned that from Hitomi Kanzaki! >Sakura: Any luck? > >Kero: No luck. face> I can't find them anywhere. Syaoran: Maybe if you tried, you know, looking? Kero: Watch it! >Sakura: Here. Tomoyo: Drown your troubles in sugar. Aeris: Ah! The Deanna Troi depression remedy. >Kero: Looks good. There where Clow Cards in this book. Sakura: Look. I already told you that I don’t know where the cards went, okay? >Sakura: Clow Card? > >Kero: Clow Card... when the seal is broken, a great catastrophe will >befall this world. Kero: Tom Green will get a six movie deal. All: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! >The cards where made by a great sorcerer named Clow >Reed. All the cards have grand powers, but are acting on their own and >human forces cannot stop them. So, Clow stopped them, placed them >inside and placed me, Fuuin no Kemono, on the cover. Well we must get >the cards back in the book and you will help me. Aeris: You must answer in the form of a question. Sakura: Looks like Kero is the latest victim of Nanami Kiryuu Syndrome. >Sakura: Nani? Why me? Syaoran: Cause the show is called “CardCaptor Sakura”, honey. >Kero: You scattered them with The Windy's spell. > >Sakura: It's your job to see the cards aren't disturbed. Tomoyo: You’re supposed to make sure they get to all their therapy sessions. >Kero: Well, I sorta fell asleep. Sakura: Mental note, never give Kero guard duty. >Sakura: How long? > >Kero: 30 years. Tomoyo: Give or take a decade. >Sakura: And you call yourself a Fuuin no Kemono? Kero: No. I call myself a sexy beast. Yeah, baby, yeah! >Kero: Shit happens, ok?!? Aeris: Kero! Language! >Sakura: So those noises where you snoring. Syaoran: Obviously he was snoring in the book. >Kero: Regardless, since you opened this book, it means >you have some magical powers. What's your name? Kero: Rank? Serial number? Come on! I don’t have all day! Syaoran: You want answers? Sakura: I want the truth! Syaoran: YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH! >Sakura: Sakura Aeris: Whoa! Stereo! Tomoyo: “The Twin” card strikes again! >Kero: Alright Sakura, Stand >right over there. dissapears into a room colored in a dark green. Syaoran: Oh great… The special effects just conked out and now all we’ve got is the green screens. >Under Sakura is the pentagram from when she scattered the cards. > Key of the cards. sounded triangle with wings on either side of it surrounded by a white >light emerges from the books key hole> Sakura; “Sounded triangle”?! What the HELL is he talking about?! >There is a girl who wishes a contract with you, her name is Sakura. Oh key, Grant her the power! >RELEASE! Aeris: …and DISPEL!! > Suddenly, the light explodes in a violent flash of power and Sakura >shields her eyes. The triangle grows to become a short staff with the >triangle on top. Syaoran: Funny… Doesn’t sound like the sealing staff to me. >Kero: Sakura, grab the staff! Tomoyo: Wouldn’t that be sexual harassment? Sakura: Tomoyo-chan… > Sakura complies and moves towards the staff, witch elongates at her >touch. Kero: Must… not… say… it… Aeris: She has that same effect on Syaoran. Sakura and Syaoran: AERIS!! >Kero: All Right! It's the birth of a Card Captor! Aeris: It’s a girl! > The light fades and we return to see Sakura's room. Sakura shrieks as >Kero starts eating on the sweet cake. Tomoyo: So he’s sitting on the cake eating… what? >Sakura: I just cant do it! Kero: I’m only fourteen! Sakura: Kero… Tomoyo: No matter what my Nikes say, they can’t be right! >Kero: Wow, It's so fluffy Syaoran: Yeah. But I think one of the springs is about to go. Sakura: You should talk. Your bed makes that strange creaking noise. Sakura: Ummm… never mind. >Sakura: I know I can't be a Card Captor! I'm just a normal >schoolgirl! Aeris: Like Usagi Tsukino or Yohko Mano or Meimi Haneoka or… Oh, hell… >Kero: Card Captor, one who captures Clow Cards, Ain't it cool? Tomoyo: Actually, I thought that website’s design needed revising. >Besides Who used this to scatter the cards to begin with? > >Sakura: And who was asleep on the job? glaring contest as a strong breeze blows> Aeris: But it’s just not as exciting as when Touya and Syaoran glare at each other. >That's a strong wind tonight. Kero: Thank you, Captain Obvious. >Kero: Sakura! of a bird fills the night sky> It's a Clow Card! It must be the Fly >card. Syaoran: Or a giant pokemon. >Sakura: Now what? Sakura: I mean, really…Hasn’t this day been hard enough? >Kero: What else? We capture it of course! > >Sakura: H- Hoe?!? Tomoyo: Well, duh! What do you think the term “CardCaptor” meant? > Scene shift to a shrine near the Saotome residence. We see a humongous >bird with Red eyes and blue feathers reeking havoc upon an apartment >building by breaking glass with his huge wing flaps. Aeris: Wing flaps? I thought only planes had those. Syaoran: It’s a cyber-bird. >Sakura and Kero are entering the scene, Sakura with her pajamas and her rollerblading >gear on. Both are struggling through the wind storm. Kero: Oddly, this is still more exciting than the movie “Twister”. Sakura: So is watching paint dry, what’s your point? >Sakura: I can't catch something that huge! Kero: I’m HUGE! >Kero: Why are you being such a wimp? Aeris: Are you a man or… oh, wait… > The bird notices them and blows a strong gush of wind towards them and >blows Sakura and Kero sky high. Kero regains his reberliberium and >eases Sakura decent. Sakura has a dazed look on her face. Sakura: …and confused. Syaoran: No doubt from trying to figure out what the hell “reberliberium” is. >Kero: Sakura, your magic! Do as I said earlier! Tomoyo: When did he tell her this? Kero: Apparently during one of the jump cuts. >Sakura: Yosh! Yami no chikara o >himeshi 'kagi' yo! Shin no sugata o ware no mae ni shimese. Keiyaku no >moto Sakura ga meijiru.(1) Release! Tomoyo: Yes, you too can learn Japanese in two easy fanfics. Aeris: Enough with the language lessons, Wishbringer! Get on with it! > As soon as Sakura finishes her chant, the key becomes a staff. Sakura >grasps it and hugs it to her body. Sakura: This choreography is way off. Someone call Tea Gardener. >Kero: Ok Sakura, The Fly card is attributed to wind, and with your Windy >card, this should be an easy capture. > >Sakura: You sure? Syaoran: Sure. Just look at how well I’ve dealt with controlling the cards so far. Kero: Hey! >Kero: Well, we do have to get closer. Tomoyo: Whoa! We just met! >Sakura: Leave that to me. > >Kero: Nani? Kero: When did you change your name to “Beaver”? >Sakura: Oy! Fly! Come n' get me! Sakura: Blimey! When did I acquire a British accent, mate? > The Fly complies and takes off of it's perch to Sakura. Sakura skates >away, then onto an angled wall, as the bird tries to grab Sakura with >it's talon, it misses and knocks Kero for a loop and out of the way to >help Sakura. Aeris: But if he was knocked out the way… Sakura: Don’t think about it so much. It will hurt less. >Kero: Sakura! Sakura: Syaoran! Tomoyo: Justin! Kero: Feena! Sakura: Keitaro! Syaoran: Naru! Tomoyo: Chief! Kero: McCloud! > Back to Sakura, she is now skating on the wall and positioning herself >to leap onto The Fly. When she hit the right angle, she jumped and >flipped unto the bird's back and held on for dear life. The card tried >several aviation moves to shake her off, but to no avail. When it was >stable enough, Sakura tossed out The Windy card. Sakura: Hell! I don’t need this stupid thing! >Sakura: Wind, become a binding chain. Sakura> WINDY! Tomoyo: Everyone knows it’s Windy! > Suddenly hitting the card, a white light flashed, and the image of The >Windy card appeared. Her skin color was a bright yellow, and she her >crown was colored green. Windy then opened her wings and wrapped >herself around Fly. The chain wrapped around the body and paralyzed the >wings, forcing the bird to land. Sakura skated off the bird and turned >around, staff raised high above her head. Kero: Poorly staged action sequences… Constant repetition… Bad spelling… One Godlike character… This is practically Ratliff. Syaoran: Come to think of it… Ratliff did start writing Ranma fics recently… You don’t think… Sakura: Please don’t go there. >Sakura: Nanji no arubeki sugata ni modore! Clow card! (2) Aeris: I’m turning Japanese! > Lowering the staff, it struck a spot in the air that formed a card and >sucked the bird in. When it was ofer, the card fluttered into her hand >and she collapsed unto her knees. The card reviled the bird in a >standing position with wings closed. The card red in romanji and kanji, >The Fly. Syaoran: Actually only the back of the cards are red. The fronts are more of a sepia tone. >Kero: Great job Sakura! > >Sakura: I thought I was gonna die! Sakura: But I missed my chance and now I’m still trapped in this fanfic. >Kero: Nothing less from the Card Captor I scouted! > >Sakura: I never said I would! Tomoyo: Don’t give into peer pressure, Sakura. Kero: You’re one to talk. >Kero: These experiences will build character and make you a better >adult! Well, you got the card, why not try >it out? > >Sakura: How? > >Kero: Just try it. Sakura: That doesn’t answer my question, stupid. >Sakura: Fly! Aeris: Be free! > Suddenly, the wings on the key grow, and we see Sakura on her staff, >flying in the air. A happy and amused look on her face. Kero flies up >next to her. > >Kero: I think I'll like working with you Card Captor Sakura. Kero: You got moxie, kid! >Sakura: Yea. Wait! I sill never said I would! Sakura: Oh, so I’m a window now? > Scene change. Sakura's room. The room is dark appears empty. We see >Sakura slide the window and enter followed by Kero. As she prepares to >sneak into bed, the light pops on and stun Sakura and Kero respectively. Syaoran: Okay. Who put the phaser in the lamp? >Ranma: I thought I said be in bed by 9:30 Sakura-chan. Kero: And even though the lights were out and there was no reason for me to bust into your room without warning and invade your privacy, I thought I should check and see if you had followed my orders exactly. Sakura: Someone hit him. >Sakura: R- R- Ranma-niichan! > >Ranma: Care to explain why there's a flying stuffed animal here Sakura? Syaoran: That’s it. I give up. Wishbringer just won’t keep Ranma out of the limelight for three minutes. Aeris: Yeah. Next thing you know he’ll be replacing Sakura as the CardCaptor >Kero: I'm no stuffed animal! >Sakura: Hai. Only if you promise not to tell anyone! Tomoyo: Well, so much for secrecy. >Ranma: Hai. But we'll have to double up your training regimen. Kero: Because we all know how effective martial arts have been against Clow cards in the past. Syaoran: Well, there was “The Twin” card. But she’d need someone else with the exact same timing to make that work. >Sakura: N- N- Nani? You're so mean! > >Ranma: Ok I take it back! Just tell me! Sakura: Tell you what. Kero: Way to stand your ground there, fearless leader. >Sakura: Hai! Well, it all started in the basement... Tomoyo: Please! Spare us another stupid flashback! >END CHAPTER ONE. All: YES! >End theme song, Groovy plays. During the song, we see Kero running >across on a circle as the background changes from a grassy field to a >city and from day to night. Aeris: Oh no… Sakura: Not again! >Machi ni dekake yo Hitori de itatte kura dake desho >(Let's go out to town you just depress yourself being alone, right?) Kero: Speaking of peer pressure. >Loop shite ochikonde naosara Ah nayanjatte >(You end up in a loop of sadness. Ah, now you`re worrying about it >more) Tomoyo: These lyrics are almost as depressing as the fic. >Soto ni tobidasou shinpai irani oomukashi kara >(Let`s jump outside, there`s nothing to worry about) Syaoran: Except that we live on top of a cliff. >Chi kyuu datte mauatteru >(The earth`s been turning since long ago) Sakura: As The World Turns… >Kitto tsuki date mauaruyo >(I`m sure the moon is too) Kero: Better believe it, bub! >Brand New Love Song. Halle- Halleluiah Tomoyo: Oh! It’s a gospel song. >Minna hajikete aisiaou >(Let`s go nuts & fall in love) Aeris: Let’s not and say we did. >Tanjun na nichijou tsuujou na kanjou >(Simple ordinary live, ordinary feelings) Syaoran: Ordinary live what? Kero: From New York! It’s Saturday Niiiiiight! Aeris: As if anyone cares anymore. >Mamoranakucha dame na koto itsumo aru! >(You must always have things you must protect!) Tomoyo: How about protecting the integrity of the storyline? > At the end of song, we see Sakura in her dress from the opening on her >staff utilizing the power of The Fly card with a silly expression on her >face. Kero is floating by her as is Ranma in his normal outfit. Syaoran: So Ranma can fly now too? >Wishbringer ni Omakase! (Leave it to Wishbringer!) All: NO!! >Translations: >kaijuu - monster >(1)- "Key that holds the power of darkness, reveal your true form to me! >I, Sakura, order you under our contract. Release!" > >(2)- "Return to your original form! Clow Card!". Kero: Thanks. No. really. >Kanji- Kanji are Japanese characters that stand for words or ideas. Sakura: They’re ideas too? >Romanji- English Tomoyo: No. English is English. Romanji is Roman characters >Nani- what > >Yosh- Right Aeris: This glossary is almost as long as the fanfic. Syaoran: What is this? The Lord Of The Rings? >Hoe- Sakura expression (like a certin redhead from Ruoni Kenshin. Oro?) Sakura: *What* Kenshin? Tomoyo: Does Watsuki know about this cheap knock-off of his work? >Hai- yes > >-niichan- big brother > >-neechan- big sister Syaoran: Shouldn’t there be an “O” there? >Okassan- mother (formal) > >Tou-chan- daddy Kero: Is this a fanfic or a dictionary? >Osaka-ben- Osaka accent > >Souka- I see. Sakura: See what? >Mouko Shoten Ha- fierce tiger of death (Loose translation) > >If I missed or misspelled any, Let me know, ok? Syaoran: You did. And we’re pretty sure you got the wrong meaning in some cases too. >Hounana! (See ya!) Aeris: Thank God! >Notes: Sakura: Sorry, Aeris. It’s not over yet. Aeris: Lovely… >Goddamn there's a lot of Japanese in this story isn't there? Syaoran: You think? >I'm sorry and I'll try to reduce it next time. I'm also sorry I didn't include a >lot of scenes with all the Ranma characters, but I'm breaking it down >like this, Some will have a lot of Ranma, some will have a lot of >Sakura, some will even out. Tomoyo: Well, the characters in this first chapter were just *so* balanced. >But I will promise you this, this story will be a very interesting journey for Ranma. Kero: ‘Cause it’s *his* story. Sakura: He can keep it. >More of the Ranmaverse characters will return. Some for the better and some for the worse. Aeris: But mostly for the worse. >Just bear in here with me ok? Kero: Ummm… Okay. >I'll be catching back up to real life as >well as starting a Ranma King Of Fighters Alta verse. Ch. 2 will come >as soon as some scenes hit me. Syaoran: Or the readers. Whichever come first. Sakura: Well, looks like it’s over. Kero: Thank God! I don’t know what was more grating. The half-assed “Ranma ½ Cast Does CCS” or the half-cast “First Release”. The Ranma characters take up a lot of space, especially Ranma, and everyone else is shoved aside. Sakura herself is pretty much a glorified cameo. Tomoyo: The spelling was lousy and the random capital letters made things worse. Aeris: Plus there’s the gratuitous Japanese, which he didn’t get right either. Sakura: Yeah. Let’s just get out of here. ** THE HOLCABANA “Hi there!” Sakura said cheerfully into the lens of Tomoyo’s camera. “In today’s fanfic we got a lot of cross melding between our reality and the Ranma ½ reality. But we didn’t find out much about what Syaoran-kun’s life. So now we present what Wishbringer might have written about Syaoran and his family.Let’s watch!” Sakura stepped aside as the lights came up revealing the living room of the Li mansion. Aeris walked in dressed up as Yelan Li. “Xiao Lang!” she called out. “Xiao Lang! Come here, please” Syaoran walked in. “Yes, mother. What is it?” “My son, the elders have reported that the Clow book has been opened and the cards have been set loose,” Aeris began. “I’m afraid we have no choice but to send you to try to get them back.” “I understand, mother.” Syaoran said. “But that isn’t all,” Aeris continued. “The one who released the cards is of the Saotome family.” “Saotome?!” Syaoran growled. “The ones who slaughtered the Nyuuchiezuu defending our land and murdered one of our most respected elders, Cologne?!” “Yes,” Aeris replied solemnly. “Then my path is clear,” said Syaoran. “I must retrieve the cards and gets vengeance for our lost comrades. I shall kill Ranma Saotome and bring back his head as a trophy!” “Aiya!” called a purple haired Meiling as she ran in and glomped onto Syaoran. “Shampoo come with cousin airen!” “What is the name of the one who opened the book?” Syaoran asked while trying to free himself from Meiling’s grip. “Sakura Saotome,” Aeris replied. “Girl-type CardCaptor?” Meiling said coldly. “Shampoo KILL!” “That’s enough out of you,” Sakura grumbled as she stormed onto the set and pulled Meiling loose. Kero and Tomoyo just shrugged. “What do you think, sirs?” Tomoyo asked. ** DEEP 13 “I can’t believe that stupid turtle ate my Clow card!” Eriol growled. “Well, it’ll be back eventually,” said Spinel Sun. “But I don’t think you’ll want it then.” “Oh, shut up.” Eriol muttered. “Push the button, Ruby Moon.” “Ara, ara!” Ruby Moon said cheerfully as she gave the button a smack. THE REAL END (Feel free to hum ‘Catch You, Catch Me’ as the credits roll.) I’d like to start by saying I sure hope I got *my* Japanese words right. Well, This MST has been lingering for awhile as I tried to finish up the opening host segment. Most of season four is already filled and I’m contemplating keeping Aeris on board for season five, depending on reader reactions. Also, in addition to classes and what not, I have been working on an X MSTing with fellow MSTer April Hamilton of the SVAM. It will, however, still take quite a while to finish I’m afraid. There were originally two more chapters to “First Release”, bur frankly this MSTing came out pretty long as it is and I was getting kind of fed up with it by the end of this chapter. Also, I’d like to announce that we’ll be featuring another Thinkerfic in Ep. 36, sent to me by the good doctor himself. Until next time… -CardCaptor Schlueter (aka Syaoran-kun) Season One: 1) The Brain From Planet Arous-A Ranma ½ Fic By Ryoucilo 2) The Mike Rhea Anthology-Ranma ½ Fics By Mike Rhea (Loves Me, Loves Me Not/ Akane Gets Drained/ Konatsu’s First Kiss) 3) Neon Ranma Evangelion-A Ranma ½ /Neon Genesis Evangelion Fic By Khyron Kingkiller 4) Good Bye Sweet Li (Part 1)-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Lady Yuy 5) Stolen-A Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By hikaru shidou 6) Good Bye Sweet Li (Part 2)-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Lady Yuy 7) The True Power Of Love-A Card Captor Sakura Fic By poshul 8) Marco Polo-A Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By hikaru shidou 9) Madison’s Mystery Crush-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Chocolat* 10) Is It Reality Or Just A Trick?-A Sailor Moon Fic By Dr. Thinker Season Two: 11) The Next Generation-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By JimAndZazu 12) Caught In The Act-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Second Sailor Destiny 13) The Shadow Leaders-A Sailor Moon Fic By Dr. Thinker 14) Shinji’s Alter-Ego-A Neon Genesis Evangelion Fic By John82 15) Sailor Jupiter Vs. Godzilla-A Sailor Moon Fic By Flashman (Christian A. Rogers) 16) Temples, Captors And Knights (Part 1)-A Card Captor Sakura/Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By Syaoran’s Lovertoy 17) No Need For CardCaptors-A Tenchi Muyo/Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Christina Horton 18) Temples, Captors And Knights (Part 2)-A Card Captor Sakura/Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By Syaoran’s Lovertoy 19) Mother, May I [Take Over The World]-A Pokemon Fic By Mallet Boy 20) Syaoran: Romeo… Not Really-A Card Captor Sakura Fic By Golden Eyed Dragon Season Three: 21) Harry Potter And the Pantie Raiders-A Harry Potter Fic By Ice Blue X 22) The Unforgettable Promise-A Love Hina Fic By KenshinRC 23) To Find My Dad And Have A Family-A Card Captor Sakura Fic By MoshiMoshiQueen 24) Revolutionary Girl Asuka-A Neon Genesis Evangelion/Shoujo Kakumei Utena Fic By Joyce K. Wakabayashi 25) A Dream Come True-A CardCaptor Sakura Fic By Crystalina Rhapsody Draco 26) The Only Constant-A Star Trek: The Next Generation Fic By Stephen Ratliff 27) The Lionel Dark Anthology-Card Captor Sakura(CardCaptors)/Lord Of The Rings Fics By Lionel Dark (Signs That Say You’re Like Lionel Dark/ More Signs The You’re Like Elle/ The Scythe Carrier) 28) The Ranma ½ Cast Does CCS-A Ranma ½/CardCaptor Sakura Fic By Matthew Cline 29) Megamon X-A Pokemon/Megaman X Fic By Brock Shale 30) Hotaru Goes To Hogwarts-A Sailor Moon/Harry Potter Fic By Saturn Angels Season Four: 31) The Bubblehead, The Jerk And The High School-A Sailor Moon/Gundam Wing Fic By Jayde Summers (w/ short True Search-A Shoujo Kakumei Utena Fic By SparkleOfEnergyHeidi) 32) Find You Again-A Vision Of Escaflowne Fic By winged angel 33) The XXX Files-A Shoujo Kakumei Utena Fic By Reanna R. King 34) First Release-A CardCaptor Sakura/Ranma ½ Fic By Wishbringer Deep Fried SPAM: 1) Why Not Make A Little Money While Surfing The Net 2) Now Offering For Your “Sensitive” Delight… New And Improved! Specials: -Christmas Special-Under The Mistletoe/Tsubasa Gets What He Deserves-Ranma ½ Fics By Mike Rhea -Summaries Of Suffering Vol. 1-A CCST3K Spin-off By Ciircee and Chelle-Sama -Summaries Of Suffering Vol. 2-A CCST3K Spin-off By Ciircee and Chelle-Sama Other MSTings: Totally Spies Theater 3000: Season One: 1) What If Meowth Was A Girl?-A Pokemon Fic By Dr. Thinker 2) Sailor Trigger-A Sailor Moon/Chrono Trigger Fic By Sailor Koban (w/ short BB Hood’s Rampage-A DarkStalkers Fic By FlamingSmileyFace) >Sakura: Oy! Fly! Come n' get me! Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations are trademarks of and (c) 2003 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved. Keep Circulating The Fanfics....