Card Captor Science Theater 3000 [Episode Four] *TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS* (And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain) (The future isn't what it used to be....) "CARD CAPTOR SCIENCE THEATER 3000" (SEASON ONE) EPISODE 4: GOOD BYE SWEET LI (A Card Captor Sakura [CardCaptors] MSTing) MSTed From the Desk of Card Captor Schlueter (aka Syaoran-kun) This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred. “Card Captor Sakura” and “CardCaptors” are trademarks of CLAMP and those who distribute it "Good Bye Sweet Li” is the property of Lady Yuy and she's welcome to it. I do not intend to offend her for making fun of her work like this but I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this as another form of C&C. ;) (Cue "Card Captor Science Theater 3000 Love Theme" in 5....4....3....) It's the not-too-distant future, Last sunday BC There was this girl named Sakura Quite different from you or me She captured Clow Cards with her friends All seen through Tomoyo’s camera lens They tried to save the human race, But Eriol lost his patience So he shot them into space!!!! Sakura: (Hoeeee……) Syaoran and Tomoyo: (Now what?) We'll send them crappy fanfics The worst we can find (lalala) They'll have to sit and read them all and we'll monitor their minds (lalala) Now keep in mind they can't control When the fanfics begin or end (lalala) Because, let’s face it, after all Eriol’s not really their friend; CARD CAPTOR ROLL CALL: Meiling: 'Why me?’ Tomoyo: 'Smile!' Syaoran: 'I hate my life.' KEROOOOOOO!!! 'It’s not my fault!' If your wondering how they eat and breathe And other science facts (lalala) Then repeat to yourself *It's just a MiST* You should really just relax For Card Captor Science Theater 3000!!! ** THE SATELLITE OF LOVE 1550 Hours Tomoyo Daidouji was busy editing together her latest tape and Kero was once again at the video game console when Yue’s voice came over the intercom. “Everyone look busy! Larry, Curly and Moe are on the line!” Tomoyo quickly left the editing machine and headed to the large viewscreen where the image of the evil Dr. Eriol Hiiragazawa and his lab assistants, TV’s Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun appeared. “Greetings, my cosmic castaways,” said Eriol. “You seem to be in a good mood, sir.” Tomoyo replied. “So why do I have this sudden feeling of imminent dread?” “Because you should.” Eriol said bluntly. “By the way, where’s The Odd Couple?” “I think they’re still on the holocabana,” said Tomoyo. “I’ll go get them.” ** THE HOLOCABANA Tuxedo wearing Syaoran Li sat before the BlackJack table carefully weighing his options. It was, after all, very hard to get into this exclusive casino. The dealers at the table were Hikaru and Umi from “Magic Knight Rayearth”. Standing on one side of Syaoran was Sakura in an expensive, elegant and slinky red evening gown and on the other side was Meiling in an equally expensive, elegant and slinky black gown. A moment later, Fuu came over to take Syaoran’s drink order. “Vodka martini,” he said “Shaken, not stirred.” Syaoran decided he would stand on seventeen. The house came up with fifteen. “You seem to be doing well tonight,” said Hikaru. “Mr…” “Li,” replied Syaoran. “Syaoran Li.” Just then, who should pull up a chair just a few feet away but the casino owner, the evil Eriol Hiirigazawa. “Well, well, Mr. Li. We meet again.” Eriol said in his best impression of Ernst Stavro Blofeld. He held Spinel Sun in his lap because it wouldn’t look right if the villain didn’t have a cat with him. “You’re plans are awash, Hiirigazawa.” Syaoran replied sharply. “We’ll see about that, 007!” said Eriol. “You haven’t met my new henchperson yet. Oh, henchperson!” Suddenly, out of the crown loomed the tall and lanky form of Touya Kinomoto. Syaoran quickly reached into his jacket and drew his Walther PPK. He fired four shots into Touya successfully bringing him down, then he quickly turned and fired two more shots at Eriol, knocking the evil genius out of his chair, and snatched his martini from Fuu’s tray and sat back down in one graceful sequence. “Roger Moore, eat your heart out,” he said taking a sip of the martini. “Li-kun,” said Sakura glowering slightly with her hands on her hips. “You didn’t tell me you used my brother for the evil henchperson in this program.” “It seemed like a good idea at the time.” Syaoran replied sheepishly. “Look, just because he’s a jerk who calls me a kaijuu and drives me crazy and makes my life miserable and..” Sakura paused for a moment. “So… are you saying you want to shoot him next time?” inquired Syaoran. “Actually… Yes,” said Sakura. “I want a shot at him too!” Meiling chimed in between sips from a glass of champagne. Just then, the holocabana doors opened and Tomoyo walked in. She looked around and noticed the two lifeless forms on the floor. “Nice work, 007,” she said flatly “C’mon, guys, Auric Goldfinger, Pussy Galore and Oddjob are waiting for us.” Syaoran sighed and finished the martini. “Just a second,” he grumbled. He reached out and tugged Fuu’s sleeve. “I need five more of these and fast.” ** THE SATELLITE OF LOVE Sakura, Tomoyo, Meiling and Syaoran (who was carrying a tray of martinis) came onto the bridge where Kero-Chan was waiting for them. “Well, it’s about time.” Eriol grumbled. “I hope you have your Clow card ready.” “Yes, sir.” Sakura replied holding up the latest card invention. “This week, we have ‘The Game’ card. It can become any video game platform current, past or future. Now you don’t need to worry about blowing hundred of dollars on systems that will be history in a year.” ** DEEP 13 “Hmmm. Not bad. Not bad.” Eriol mused. Such a card could wipe out most of the video game industry, which was appropriately evil. “My Clow card this week is ‘The Napster’ card. It’s the perfect way to get all the songs you love and gain the satisfaction of screwing the music industry at the same time. I shall demonstrate.” Eriol held up the card. “Napster card! RELEASE!” The card briefly turned into energy before becoming a huge stack of paper. “Wha- What’s this?” said Eriol. Ruby Moon picked up the papers. “It’s a legal injunction preventing us from using ‘The Napster’ until further notice.” Eriol started fuming wordlessly. “Well, you win some, you lose some,” said Syaoran. “Ahem. I’ll deal with this matter soon enough.” said Eriol. “Now then, as you know, your exploits have become world famous. They’ve been dubbed into dozens of languages so the whole world can learn the Card Captor saga. This has expanded knowledge about us but it’s also inspired some very bad authors as well. I have you cornered this time, my pretty and your little wolf too. I give you Lady Yuy’s ‘Good Bye Sweet Li’. I know it will bring you great suffering and me great joy. Send them the fanfic, Ruby Moon.” ** THE SATELLITE OF LOVE “This can’t be good,” said Tomoyo as the image on the viewscreen disappeared. “That’s an understatement,” Syaoran grumbled. “How about one for the road?” He passed out the martinis. Kero-Chan had to hold his with both hands. “Here’s to the day we finally get even with that four eyed twerp.” They all clinked the glasses and drank up. Suddenly alarms and sirens rang out. “OHHHH, WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!!” Sakura cried out. (Door 6: It slides open on both sides..) (Door 5: It's made of beads. They explode out towards you, and you move on..) (Door 4: It falls toward you, missing your foot by inches.) (Door 3: It's a castle gate, that rises into the ceiling..) (Door 2: It’s made of mirrors. You risk the seven years bad luck and shatter them with a hammer.) (Door 1: It splits in four ways, twice.) (Door .7: A beam of golden light erupts from the floor. You walk into it.) Sakura, Syaoran, Tomoyo and Kero-Chan emerged from the light. The three take their seats in the theater while Kero-Chan floats overhead. >Good-bye Sweet Li Tomoyo: Parting is such sweet sorrow. >Category: Anime » Card Captor Sakura Censor: PG Genre: General >Author: Lady Yuy Kero: Why do I suddenly feel like we’re reviewing a movie? Syaoran: Thumbs down. This fic sucks. Sakura:Yes, this is truly the “Battlefield Earth” of fanfiction. Tomoyo: Ouch! >AN: OK, I know the title SUX Kero: Not as much as your spelling. >but, it was the best I could come up with. Syaoran: That’s a pretty sad statement. >Anyway, you might not really care for this fic, Tomoyo: Gee, you think? >CAUSE IT'S NOT S+S!!!!!! I HATE THAT COUPLE! Sakura and Syaoran: WHAT?! Sakura: Let’s kill the bitch! Tomoyo: Geez, Sakura, calm down! Sakura: Gomen. I’m better now. >But, it is still a good fic! Tomoyo: So why don’t we believe you? >Also, I might have some typos! So, be warned! Sakura: I spit upon my spell-checker. >******* Kero: Seven stars! Lucky! >One day, Meilin was walking home from school thinking about what happened just after school let out. Tomoyo:I can’t believe I lost my ‘g’. It’s got to be around here somewhere. >'I didn't mean to make him mad...' she thought to herself. 'I never knew he hated me that much... I thought he just >was shy to show his feelings in front of people. But I must have been wrong... I guess I don't know Li as much as I >thought I did.' Syaoran: Oh, great. One paragraph in and she’s already painting me as a heartless bastard. >She walked on not even paying attention to where she was going, and she walked right past her house. Kero: And into traffic… Sakura: Kero… >'Why would he say such a thing like that....?' she thought with tears in her eyes. Tomoyo: As opposed to her ears. >****FLASHBACK**** Syaoran: Thanks for sharing. Kero: Yeah, we never would’ve figured that out on our own. >Just after school let out Li had told Meilin that he wanted to talk to her. > >"What's wrong Li? Sakura: Could someone find the right Li? Kero: Ba-da-bing! >Why are we back here?" Meilin asked with a smile but yet, confusion on her face. > >Madison and Sakura were in the corner watching, Tomoyo: So, my evil twin, we meet again. >they knew that Li was going to say something mean to Meilin as soon as they saw him take her back there. Sakura: Um, back where? Tomoyo: This author’s not much for details. >So they thought they would go and help her if it got to bad. They knew he was going to yell at her about last night >and letting a Clow Card get away. Kero: Wouldn’t be the first time. Syaoran: HEY! >"I hope he doesn't get to mad." Madison whispered to Sakura. All Sakura could do is nod. Tomoyo: That’s all you can do? Boy, you’re useless. >"Li?" Meilin looked at him, he looked mad and she knew what was going to happen. But this has happened before and >It was never that bad. He would always tell her to keep out of this, but she never listened. Sakura: I am not listening. La la la la! >"What's wrong?" she asked. > >"WHAT'S WRONG? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S WRONG!" Li yelled. All: WHOAH! Syaoran:
  • YOU PUT AMPHETIMINES IN MY TEA AGAIN, DIDN’T YOU?! >Madison and Sakura flinched. > >"I didn't think that would happen..." Madison said to Sakura. Sakura: Um… Didn’t they know he was going to get mad just a minute ago? >"Yeah...." Sakura replied. Sakura: I thought so. >"Li I...." Meilin started but was cut off. Tomoyo: Damn cheap cell phone! >"You what? You have gotten in our way for the last time! Meilin, your nothing but trouble!" he looked at her with a >mean look. Syaoran: Oh , for… Kero: Ya gotta look mean! >"But Li... you never get mad at Madison..." she started but he cut her off again. Syaoran:
  • This sword is very handy during conversations! >"MADISON DOESN'T TRY TO 'HELP' US! SHE DOESN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING, Tomoyo: Hey! I resent that! >AND THAT'S GOOD CAUSE SHE DOESN'T GET IN OUR WAY!" he yelled out making Meilin jump back in fear. > >"You really.... feel that way don't you?" she said. Syaoran:
  • No, I’m just making this up as I go along. >"Yeah..." Li said in a mean voice. Syaoran:
  • I’m lean and mean! >"Then, I should jest go back to Hong Kong Kero: Surely, you jest? Sakura: Good one! >so that I'm out of your way... so that..." she looked at the ground, "So that you can be with Sakura....." All: HUH? Kero: I thought this author was anti S+S. >"Sakura?" Li looked at Meilin with a confused look, "What do you mean?" Tomoyo: What do you think I mean, you bozo?! >"Oh c'mon Li! You only want me gone so that you can be with Sakura... you like her I know it. Syaoran: Yeah, but the author doesn’t. Sakura: Great, we may have another Mike Rhea on our hands. Tomoyo:Syaoran and Sakura will be together OVER MY DEAD BODY! Kero: That could be arranged. >You don't want me around cause I'll get in the way of you two being together," she said looking down, he couldn't see >It but tears were starting to come from her eyes. Tomoyo: As opposed to her nose. >"Meilin that's not true..." Li started but Meilin looked up and him. Syaoran:
  • Didn’t you read this fic’s disclaimer. Kero: Could we find a Meilin that is true? >"IT IS TRUE! I'LL GO! I'LL LEAVE NOW!" she ran off without another word. > >"Meilin...?" Li trailed off. Sakura: Goin’ down the trail. >Madison held her hand up to her mouth. Kero: To muffle her laughter Tomoyo:Hmph… Hee-hee-hee. >She had never seen Li acted like that. And she had never seen Meilin acted like that. Sakura: She had also never seen grammar mutilated like that. >She knew that Meilin had feelings for Li, but she never thought she would yell out like that and run off. Madison looked >to were Sakura was but the problem was, Sakura wasn't there anymore. She looked around. And then saw a shadow >run around a corner. Sakura left. She must have felt bad after what had happened. Madison smiled, Sakura was >always thinking of others before herself. Sakura: Hmph… Hee-hee-hee. Kero: Or maybe not. >****END FLASHBACK**** Syaoran: Thanks, we didn’t need that. >Meilin just kept walking, not knowing or caring of were she was going. Soon it started to rain and it got darker. But >Meilin didn't seem to care. She just wanted to die right then and there. Tomoyo:This fic is a dark and lonely place. >It was poring harder and harder, Kero: Thus, filling her pores! Thank you! >and it got darker and darker. She was walking on the side of the rode Sakura: Oh, for… Kero: Just before she road off into the night. >in the poring rain with nowhere to go. Soon Meilin heard a sound, it was the sound of a car zooming, Sakura: Zooming? That’s a sound now? >and she knew that it wasn't going to be able to see her. She turned around as the car beeped the horn and Meilin >just fell over in a big puddle of mud. And the car just kept on going and didn't even stop. Meilin wasn't hurt, she just >jumped back before getting hit. Syaoran: Lady Yuy must hate Meilin. >'I wish I wouldn't have jumped...' she thought to herself. 'The car wouldn't have even stopped for me... I would have >died. Then I would never have to face Li ever again,' she looked down, "I know everyone hates me..." she said as she >started crying. Sakura: Uh-oh. We may have a snuff fic on our hands, guys. >****MEANWHILE**** >*ring* The phone at Sakura's rang. Tory picked it up. "Hello," he said with a pretty sleepy voice. Syaoran: I feel pretty! Oh so pretty! So pretty and witty and wise! >"Hello, is Sakura there?" the voice asked. Sakura: Tory is talking to himself? Syaoran: That would explain a lot about him. >"Yeah, I'll get her." Tory answered, covering the phone so he wouldn't make the person on the other end go deaf, he >yelled, "SAKURA! THERE'S A BOY ON THE PHONE FOR YOU!" Sakura: Well, tell him to get off it and sit in a chair like a normal person. Sakura: What? >"COMING!" Sakura yelled from the top of the stairs as she ran down. "Give me!" she ordered Tory. Sakura: What am I? Two years old now? >"Hey, don't tell me what to do! And anyway, you know your not allowed to get phone calls after ten!" Tory joked. Syaoran: Don’t give up your day job, Tory. Kero: But, seriously folks, I just flew in from Reedington and, boy, are my arms tired! >"Oh shut up and give it to me so that I can be done with this call and you can be happy!" she looked at him meanly. Tomoyo: Um… Okay… >"Oh OK! But, tell me this..." Tory lend in, Kero: Neither a borrower nor a lender be. >"Is he your boyfriend?!" Tomoyo:Not if I have anything to do with it! >Sakura's face turned red, "NOOOOOO! I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND!" Syaoran:
  • Hey! >"Sure ya don't! Well, anyway, here ya go!" and with that Tory handed her the phone and walked down the hall >singing 'Sakura has a boyfriend' Kero: Um… Okay. Tomoyo: He seems a lot more docile about the boyfriend thing. Syaoran:Time for my pills! Yum! Prozak! >"Grrrr! Um, hello" Sakura said to the person on the other end. Sakura:What do you think of Labrador impression? >"'Bout time Sakura!" Syaoran:
  • Put on your gloves and get to the ring, ASAP. Kero: Ding! Ding! >"Li?" Sakura asked. > >"Yeah..." Sakura: What’s new? Syaoran:
  • Not much. Kero: Zzzzzzz….. >"What's up? New Card to capture?" she asked. Syaoran:
  • Yeah, like I’d tell you. >"No, this time it's about Meilin." Li explained. > >"Uh-huh..." All: That’s the way! Uh-huh,uh-huh! >"Today we had a fight and..." Syaoran:
  • She beat the stuffing out of me. >"I know...." Sakura whispered. Sakura: It was the most pathetic thing I ever saw. >"You do?" asked Li. Sakura: No, I’m bluffing. >"Yeah, me and Madison saw the whole thing. I'm sorry, we shouldn't have been there, but we saw you taking Meilin to >the back of the school and we knew it was going to be bad 'cause of last nights capture." Sakura explained. > >"Oh..." Li trailed off again. Tomoyo: He seems to be doing that a lot lately. >"Um, well, that's OK. I guess it saves me a lot of time explaining then." > >"Right...." Sakura look down, Kero: Look up, now to the left, to the right… >"Well, what is it you wanted to tell me?" she asked perking up a little. Kero: Li’s got her perking now! Sakura: Kero… Kero: Heh heh heh >"Meilin is missing!" Li spilled out. Tomoyo:What do you mean, meesing? Syaoran:
  • No, she’s missing! Tomoyo:That’s what I said, meesing. >Sakura raised her head and dropped the phone. 'Missing? How could she be missing? She could take care of herself.... >couldn't she?' so many thoughts ran through Sakura's mind. 'Were could Meilin be?' or 'Did she not go home on >purpose?' So many thoughts ran through her mind that she forgot about the phone. > >"Sakura? Sakura you there? Hello?" Syaoran:
  • The klutz must’ve dropped the phone again. >Sakura then remembered and picked up the phone, "Oh, sorry Li. I was um.... Sakura: Totally out of it. >Well, do you want me and Madison to help you look for her?" > >"Why else would I call you?" Li replied. Syaoran:
  • After all, it’s not like I’m your boyfriend or anything. >"Right... Well, were do you want us to meet you?" Sakura asked. > >"At Meilin's house, we'll start from there." > >"OK, I'll call Madison and we'll meet up with you. Madison never wants to be left out of the action!" and with the >Sakura hung up the phone. All: Huh? Kero: She used a Sakura to hang up the phone? >OK, so Sakura and Meilin didn't always get along. But Sakura was still worried. > >****AT MEILIN'S HOUSE**** Kero: These scene changes are as graceful as a hippo. >"LI!" Madison yelled as her and Sakura ran up to the boy. Li turned around. Tomoyo: Smooth. Kero: Yeah, Like Number 5 sandpaper. >"Your here!" Sakura: Wow! My very own here! >he sounded happy, for about two seconds, then he was his normal self. Kero: Namely, sullen and grouchy. Syaoran: HEY! >"What took you guys so long?" he asked. > >"Sorry, that was my fault! I didn't know if, while we were looking for Meilin, we might get that Clow Card we missed >the other day, so I had to find my camera and make sure that it had new film and new batteries." Madison explained. > >Li sighed and told them to follow him. Syaoran:
  • Let’s play ‘Follow The Leader’! All: YAAAY! >"Well, at least he didn't yell at you!" Madison whispered to Sakura, "I knew he was going to blame you right on the >spot, so I thought I'd save you the trouble of getting yelled at and him the trouble of yelling at you! And he never yells >at me!" Madison smiled and Sakura could only smile back. Tomoyo: You are useless. >"Thanks Madison!" > >"Your welcome Sakura!" Sakura: Wow! Another Sakura! And a welcome one too! This will go great with my here and the Sakura I use to hang up the phone! >Li looked back and muttered to himself, "Baka!" All: Huh? >"What was that Li?" Madison asked. Kero: Now there’s more than one Li too. Tomoyo: ‘The Twin’ card strikes again! >"Oh, nothing." Li kept walking. > >"I heard what he said! He called us baka's! Tomoyo: Whatever that means. After all, I don’t speak Japanese. Kero: Baka’s what? >Well, you came and help a guy and he calls you names! Li, I think you should apologize to...." Madison was cut off. Sakura: Probably by the grammar police. Tomoyo: Put that sword away, Li, and let me finish! >"Shhhh..." Li looked around. > >"What is it Li?" Sakura asked. Syaoran:
  • Yes, it’s me! Boy, you are hopeless! >"You don't sense it?" Li looked at her. > >"Sense it? You mean a Clow Card?" Syaoran:
  • No, I mean Haley Joel Osment. Yes, a Clow Card! >"Yes, it's around here somewhere. But.... Where?" Li asked himself looking around. > >"Great! I knew there would be a capture!" Madison said as she turned on her camera. Tomoyo: So, now everyone’s forgotten about Meilin? Sakura: Typical. >"AHHHH!" a cry was heard. Kero: But what kind of cry? Sakura: Kero… >"WHAT?!?!?!?" Sakura, Li and Madison looked at one another. Sakura: Yeah… Okay. Syaoran: Smooth. >"W-What was that?" Sakura asked. > >"I don't know, it sounded like a cry." Li said. Syaoran: Gee, you think? >"I wish you hadn't said that!" Sakura looked around. > >"Nikki hasn't been telling scary stories again, has she?" Madison asked. Sakura nodded. "Oh no, Sakura." Madison >looked at her friend. Kero: Um… Sakura: Telling these scary stories have done wonders for my career! It netted me the role of Hitomi in the dubbed version of “Escaflowne”! >"SHHH!" Li was quiet, trying to hear were the cry was coming from, and maybe who it was from. > >"AHHH! LEAVE ME ALONE! PLEASE!" the scream got louder. > >Li's eyes widened. "MEILIN!" he took off running. Tomoyo: I wish I could say I’m surprised… but I’m not. >Sakura and Madison looked at each other. "MEILIN?" they both yelled. Then they both took off after Li. Kero: They seem a little slow to catch on. >"NO! NO!" Meilin was on the ground grabbing her head. She was muddy and her cloths were ripped. Tomoyo: How am I supposed to dry the dishes without a cloth?! >"Stop it! Please.... It hurts," she was crying. Syaoran: Not as much as reading this fic though. Kero: Amen. >Li, followed by Sakura then Madison saw Meilin grabbing her head crying on the ground in ripped and muddy cloths. Kero: Whoa! Déjà vu! Sakura: I think she means “clothes”. Tomoyo: You think? >In front of her, was a Clow Card. > >"A Clow Card!" Sakura looked at it, "Did it take Meilin?" Syaoran: Take my Meilin! Please! >The Clow Card looked at the three and then looked back at Meilin. The Clow Card smiled and held it's hand up. Meilin >cried out once again, only this time, there was more pain and suffering in this cry. Syaoran: Lovely, a sadist Clow Card. >"NO! STOP!" Sakura yelled. Sakura: Stop the fanfic! I wanna get off! >"LEAVE HER ALONE!" Madison added. > >The Clow Card looked up. It looked at Sakura, then Li, then Madison. > >'The one has no powers like this girl here,' he thought to himself. 'Perfect....' > >The Clow Card then attacked, heading for Madison. Sakura: Okay, so this Clow card only attacks people who are no threat to it while ignoring me and Li who could kick it’s pathetic butt? Kero: Probably not the brightest card in the deck. >"WHAT? MADISON, LOOK OUT!" Sakura yelled. > >Madison jumped down and the Card flew over her. It then turned around and headed for her again. Syaoran: I can’t help but notice that the author hasn’t described what this attacker looks like. >"SAKURA!" Madison yelled. > >"Oh key of Clo...." Sakura was cut off. Tomoyo: That seems to be happening a lot lately. >"AHHH!" the card grabbed her. Sakura: Hey! Don’t be so grabby, hentai! >"MADISON!" Sakura yelled, "NO! LET HER GO!" Syaoran: Huh? I thought the card grabbed Sakura. Kero: Ugh, this is giving me a headache. >The Card raised it's hand. Kero: Will we need to know the difference between “its” and “it’s” for the test? >"AHHHHH!" Meilin cried out once more. Syaoran: This is a pretty mean card. >Then the Card raised it's hand on Madison. Her eyes widened and she screamed. Tomoyo: NO! He hasn’t washed his hands! ICK! Keep that away from me! >"AHHHHHHHHH!" Madison screamed. The Card dropped her to the ground and she grabbed her head. "NO! STOP! >STOP!" Kero: What is this? The Clow Card de Sade? >"Madison!" Sakura looked at her friend and then the card. "What did you do? Li, what card is that?" > >Li looked at the card, and the turned to Sakura, "I-I don't know....." > >Sakura's eyes widened. "You don't KNOW!?!" Sakura: And you call me pathetic? >Li shook his head. He looked at Meilin and Madison as they scream and cry. Syaoran: Good idea. Don’t do anything. Just stand there. >"But, I do know that it is doing something to their mind. I don't know what though. It could be anything. He could >be....." Li stopped talk to think about what he was going to say next. Syaoran:
  • Um… Line? >He wasn't going to like it, "He could be..... killing them...." Sakura:So why are we still standing here like morons? Syaoran:
  • How should I know? Ask the author, she’s in charge. >Sakura's eyes widened once more. > >"K-Killing them...?" she looked at her friend Madison, her best friend in the whole world. Screaming and crying in pain. >"Then we have to do something.... but... but what?" she looked at Li. Tomoyo:JUST DO SOMETHING ALEADY!! HOW MUCH LONGER DO I HAVE TO SCREAM IN AGONY BEFORE YOU DO SOMETHING?!! >Finally, Meilin stopped screaming. Li and Sakura looked over to see what happened. Meilin was getting up. > >"Meilin...." Li looked confused. Syaoran: He’s not the only one. >"It's like she was never crying....." Sakura added, "But Madison still is..." > >"Meilin, are you OK? We were worried about yo...." Li was cut off as Meilin looked at him with a cold and evil look. If >looks could kill, Li would be dead already. Kero: You’re in for it now, kiddo. >"I'm fine.... NO THANKS TO YOU!!!!!" Meilin attacked Li by running up to him and punching him in the face making him >fall to the ground. Syaoran:
  • It’s not my fault! Blame the idiot who made me stand there like a doorknob. >Li hit the ground hard and looked up at Meilin. She was standing over him with an evil glare. She punched at him again >but he rolled over, so she punched the ground. Tomoyo: OW! My hand! >"Mei....Meilin what's wrong?" Sakura asked coming up from behind her. Meilin looked from the corner of her eye. >"DIE SAKURA!" she yelled as she swung her leg up in the air and kicked Sakura in the head. Sakura fell to the ground. Syaoran: Meilin is possessed! Sakura: Redrum! Redrum! Tomoyo:Obey me! I am GOR! Kero: Cute. >"AHHH!" she hit the ground hard, "ow...." Sakura grabbed her head, there was so much pain going through her head >after Meilin kicked her. (AN: Well, I guess you would figure that! It would hurt if you got kicked in the head, wouldn't >it?!) Syaoran: No, really? >"SAKURA!" Li yelled and then looked over at Meilin who was walking over to him. "Meilin.... what's happened to you?" Sakura:Isn’t it obvious? I’ve gone insane and I’m loving every minute of it! >Li asked. 'Wait a minute... that must be what the Card did to her. When she was screaming and crying, he was taking >over her mind!' he thought to himself, 'I don't think that that's even a Card....' Kero: So what is it? Sakura: What does it look like? Syaoran: Will anyone bother to save Madison? Kero: These and other questions, never to be answered in “Good Bye Sweet Li”. Tomoyo: HEY! HELLO! I’M STILL IN AGONY HERE!!! LITTLE HELP, PLEASE!!! >"LI! YOU HURT ME!" Meilin yelled as she ran to punch him again. Tomoyo: That was the card, you idiot. Syaoran:
  • You drank the tea you made for me by accident, right? >Li looked up and saw her coming. He jumped back and pulled out his sword, holding it in front of him. 'Hurt you?' he >thought. "Meilin! One step closer and I'll.... I'll... kill you..." Li warned. Sakura: That seems kinda drastic. >"GO RIGHT ON AHEAD!" Meilin attacked. All: WHAT?! >"NOOO! STAY BACK!!!!!!!!" Li yelled. Syaoran:
  • You’re EVIL! Eeeeeevil!! >He swung his sword out and closed his eyes as he ran passed Meilin. Kero: Um… Okay. >'Oh... God' he thought to himself, 'Did I.... just kill her?' he asked himself not wanting to look back. 'I have to look...' Li >thought as he took a big breath. > >He slowly turned his head and saw............. Tomoyo: Meilin even more pissed off than before? Sakura: That he had crashed into a wall? Kero: A disgusting gooey mess? >TO BE CONTINUED..... All: ARGHHHHHHHH! Sakura: Great, one of those authors. >Heehee! How is it? Syaoran: Do you really want to know? >I hope you all liked it! Kero: Yeah, well put hope in one hand and crap in the other and see which piles up first. Sakura: Kero… >I thought I would make it be a "to be continued" cause I want you all to die of suspense! ;) Tomoyo: If the suspense doesn’t kill you, the bad plot, grammar mistakes and spelling mistakes will. >Don't worry though! Chapter Two should be up soon! Syaoran: God help us all. >And this isn't going to have any romantic crap in it. Sakura: It will however, have every other kind of crap. >Cause, the couple I like will just make all of you say "I think Sakura and Li should be together" or "This fic would be >good if it was a S+S" or something like that. So.... NO ROMANCE! Kero: All in favor of frying Lady Yuy for this fic say “Aye!” All: AYE! Tomoyo: I mean, what’s up with this? Is this Meilin’s revenge or something? Sakura: And everyone ignoring Meilin or the card or the fact that Madison is still shrieking in pain. Syaoran: And what’s with the psycho thing? What is this? “Invasion Of The Body Snatchers”? Tomoyo: Hmmm… That gives me an idea. ** DEEP 13 Eriol, Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun were minding there own business when the main viewscreen suddenly came to life. It showed a grainy black and white image of a title card reading “Invasion Of The Body Snatchers”. The evil magician and his two sidekicks turned to watch. The title card was taken away revealing the bridge of the Satellite Of Love where Syaoran was standing by himself when Meiling ran on. “Syaoran! Syaoran!” she shouted “Something very strange has happened to Tomoyo!” “What do you mean?” Syaoran asked. “Her voice is really weird now and she’s dressed really funny.” Meiling replied. “I think it has something to do with that strange light we saw last night!” Just then Tomoyo walked on dress in Levis jeans, L.A. Gear sneakers and a Tommy Hillfiger shirt. “Hi there, guys!” she chirped in the voice of Maggie Blue O’Hara. “What’s new?” “Are you all right, Daidouji?” asked Syaoran. “Daidouji? My name is Madison Taylor!” “Uh-oh…” said Syaoran quietly. Just then, Sakura walked on with Kero-Chan. “Kinomoto!” said Meiling “We need your help! Something’s wrong with Tomoyo!” “Kinomoto?” Sakura said in the voice of Carly McKillip “My name is Avalon. You must have me mistaken for someone else.” “Ah, you have to remember to expect the unexpected,” said Kero-Chan in Matt Hill’s dubious New York accent. Suddenly Sakura and Tomoyo grabbed hold of Syaoran and dragged him away. “NOOOOooooo!!!!” he screamed as he was pulled away. When the three of them re-entered the shot, Syaoran looked… different. “Syaoran… Are you okay?” asked Meiling. “I’m perfectly fine, Meilin.” Syaoran replied in a zombie tone that sounded a lot like Rhys Huber. “Nooooo!!” screamed Meiling. “What’s happened to all of you?!” “Join us, Meilin…” they all said in unison. “You don’t need that ‘g’ at the end of your name…” “Nooooooooooo!” Meiling screamed again. By this point, Eriol, Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun were rolling on the floor laughing their butts off. The image on the screen went back to high-definition color. “That’s pretty good.” Eriol said wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes. ** THE SATELLITE OF LOVE “Oh, I’m not done yet,” said Sakura. “I still have something I want to do.” She quickly grabbed Syaoran and planted a passionate kiss on his lips. Syaoran, who was more than a little stunned, tried to say something but it came out muffled. “Sakura?” said Tomoyo. No response. “Sakuraaaa!” said Kero. Still nothing. “SAKURA!” growled Meiling. She finally let go of Syaoran causing him to crash to the ground. “How do you like them apples, Lady Yuy? Huh? Huh?!” “I was starting to wonder if she was ever going to come up for air,” Tomoyo whispered to Kero. Just then, Sakura noticed the stunned and blushing Syaoran, who was still on the floor. “Oops. Um… Are you okay, Li-kun?” “Yeah…” Syaoran replied. “But that was a little more tongue than I’m used to.” Blushing ensued. “We still have one last thing to do.” Tomoyo said. “Yeah, we prepared a song!” said Meiling. Kero fired up the kareoke machine. [This song is written to the tune of Brittney Spears’ “(You Drive Me) Crazy”] Tomoyo:Sakura! The joke’s not just on you! We’ve all been dubbed. What can we do? Sakura: I don’t know. My head spins around. Cause the episodes. Are all mixed around. Meiling: Everytime we look at it, It seems unfinished, Like a fanfic by Kit. All: It drives us crazy! We just can’t sleep! We’re so excited! We’re in too deep! Whoah-oh-oh! Crazy! But it feels all right! Cause we all get money from the copyright! Sakura: Cause we all get money from the copyright! [Music ends] “That was pretty good,” said Eriol. “You all seem to be taking this dub thing pretty well.” “We’re just waiting ‘til next season when they get a hold of you three,” said Syaoran. Eriol’s eyes suddenly became the size of dinner plates. “Wait a second! What do you mean by tha--” Syaoran cut him off by pressing the button. THE REAL END (Feel free to hum your favorite CCS theme as the credits roll) Due to popular demand I decided to MST a “CardCaptors” fanfic. I hope you appreciate it, guys. I also recently discovered I’ve been spelling “Satellite” wrong. Oops. Also, I’m fairly sure that Kit won’t be offended by the little joke I made at her expense. Kit: Oh, really? Me: ACK! Um… Hi, Kit. Nice day, isn’t it? Kit: You’re sure I wouldn’t be offended, hm? Me: Nooo! LET GO! ARGGHHH! Tomoyo: Ouch. Kero: Poor sap. He never saw it coming. -CardCaptor Schlueter (aka Syaoran-kun) >She had never seen Li acted like that. And she had never seen Meilin acted like that. Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations are trademarks of and (c) 2001 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved. Keep Circulating the Fanfics....