Lost Worlds Part 5 Original fic by: Adam Sheehan MSTing by: M. H. Torringjan Is this fic seeming excruciatingly long to anyone else here? I believe that I won't be able to continue doing this because it's tying up my other MSTings. As usual, I don't own MST3K. Best Brains does. I don't own Sailor Moon. Naoko Takeuchi does. I don't own A-Ko. I'm not sure who does. I don't own Ranm 1/2. Rumiko Takahashi does. Hey, two out of three ain't bad!(Thank you, Meatloaf...) I don't own very many of the random products mentioned in the course of this MSTing. Their respective owners do. I made up Michelle. She's mine. When we rejoin our friends, they are sitting down in the theatre again, ready to riff away they're passing the time by singing. All: (singing) This is the fic that never ends, it goes around and round again! This is the fic that never ends, it goes around and round again! This is the song... > Chapter 5 > Worlds apart > >Author's notes: This fith chapter is the aftermath from the great battle. I >give more story and more characters show up too. Mike: Look, you don't need all this for *one* guy! >It is good for this chapter >that you know the storys behind Ranma 1/2, Sailor Moon, & Project A-Ko. It >won't make that much sence if you don't. Don't be alarmed if some of the >charecters you don't know. Some of them I have created. All: CANNON FODDER!!! >If you don't >understand Ranma 1/2's story or Sailor Moon, please take a look at my Ranma >page, my Sailor Moon page, or my Project A-Ko page. E-mail me with any >comments you might have. mavarick7@aol.com Michelle: Adam; please stop posting this crap. Our sanity depends upon it... >Adam > >CHAPTER 5 > >Worlds Apart > > I woke at the first light for the sun in the sky. Tom: Oh, Adam worships Osirus! >I was still in the >grass. I sat up and looked around. Everyone else was awake, I guess they >didn't want to bother me. Tom: Actually, they didn't want you bothering them! >A-Ko, C-Ko and Reni lying next to B-Ko. She was >a sleep still. She was warring the uniform of one of the soldiers, her arms >were bandaged, and her wounds were cleaned. C-Ko was wiping her head with a >damp piece of cloth she ripped off the bottom of A-Ko's dress. Crow: (Adam) Hey, A-ko! I've been cut too! Rest: (other male characters) Yeah, so have we! > The entire Ranma cast was circled around Ranma and Shampoo. Moose had his >rob off and covered Shampoo with it. She was awake but had trouble moving. >She didn't look too good. Mike: Ooh, Adam's striking back for those comments earlier! >She had a splint on her left arm since it was >broken. Akane still had Ranma next to her. He was still not moving. You >could see him breath though, so he was still alive, barely. His wounds >were banged, no broken bones though. He was extremely lucky. Michelle: No, he just has an extremely generous author. Crow: I would have killed him... >Akane had one >of the saddest face on her. She wouldn't leave his side for an instant. >Every one was just sitting around watching over them. > The Scouts, now out of uniform, were sitting around Lita. Tom: (Scout) Oh, boy! We get to practice our First Aid! Mike: That's Senshi, Adam! >She was awake >and better than the others. She still had cuts all over her and she could >hardly move, but still better. Crow: Well, I believe that we know who is Adam's favorite Senshi... >Serrina and Raye were giving her some water >and watching over her. I stood up and wiped the grass off of me. I had >minor cuts and bruises. Nothing much. Mike: (Adam) Due to my excellent fighting ability... >My shirt was ripped a little along >the sides and bottom. My shorts were just dirty. > I walked over to the scouts to see how Lita was doing. "How is she?" > "She's tough," Amy said. "Just a little banged up. She will make it." > "I'll...be OK," Lita coughed out. "Don't worry about me...I can manage." Michelle:(sobs sarcastically) Oh, she's sucha valiant soul! (breaks out into fake tears > Amy gave her some more water. "Where did you get that water from?" > "There's a small well a little bit that way," Mina said pointing to the >woods at the top of the hill behind us. Tom: (Amy) What are you talking about? That's the edge of a cliff. Crow: (Mina) Shut up! > "I think I'll get some water. I'm really thirsty and I could wash this >dirt off too." I got up and started walking towards the Ranma cast. I went >over to Ukyo who was in the back of the group. > "How is he?" Michelle: (Ukyo) He's dead. Crow: (Ranma) No, I'm not! > "Not so good. He's still unconscious, he might be even in a coma." > "that blast was powerful." > "I'm worried that if he doesn't get better soon, we might lose him." She >said it holding back tears. I hugged her and she cried a bit. Mike: Man, he's coming onto everybody! Tom: Excuse me? Akane let a man touch her? Crow: Where's the nose bleed? > "He'll make it, he's tough." > "I hope your right," She said as she wiped her eyes. > "I'm gonna go get some water. You stay here with Ranma and the others." > "OK." > I got up and walked past them. I walked over too were B-Ko was laying. Tom: Overfiends Mechs across the world give a moment of silence... >She was in the worst condition, next to Ranma. A-Ko was lying her on the >ground, putting Reni's backpack under her head for support. C-Ko was crying >a little. She was holding B-Kos hand tightly, curessing it very gently. >Reni was wiping a cold piece of cloth on her head to cool her off. A-Ko was >standing up brushing some dirt of her shorts. Her shirt was ripped and >hanging loosely now. Michelle: Awww, poor Adam, he doesn't get a view of every contour of A-ko's breasts! >It looked more off-yellow with all the dirt. "How is >she?" > "She's in bad shape, but she'll make it," A-Ko said. Crow: No, abstract art is bad shape. She's just battered. > "I hope so. I'm going to go get some water up on that hill, do you want to >come with me?" I asked mainly because I didn't know this, and it is always >better to have back up like A-Ko if you get into any trouble. Mike: Just give me good ol' Dragonball Z characters, thanks. >That and I >liked having her around. She was always nice in the anime videos I had >seen. It was like I've known her for a long time. Michelle: Of course, she didn't know you, so she had a vendetta against you. > "Sure, I can get some water for B-Ko while I'm up there." We started >walking up towards the hill in front of us. It wasn't that steep. Mike: Insert random Jack and Jill comment... >The >woods were quite thick, and I couldn't see the well yet. We walked a little >ways into the woods till we saw the well. It was about 30 yards from where >we were. The woods were dark for the time of day it was. There were huge >redwood type trees all around. With bright green leaves as big as me. Mike: Insert random Gulliver comment... > We got to the well and saw that there was a small wooden bucket next to >it. There was a rope hanging down into the well. Tom: You think? And maybe the bucket is used to bring up water? >I didn't bring anything >to carry the water so I would have to use the small bucket. I started >bringing up water using the hand crank. A-Ko took the water from me and >pored it into the bucket. We drank the first batch that came up. We were >very thirsty and wanted to clean some of the dirt and grime off of >ourselves. Crow: So, they took a bath with each other? Michelle: (chanting) Don't get a mental picture, Don't get a mental picture, don't get a mental picture... Mike: When all else fails, fade to black... > "A-Ko, why are you being so nice to B-Ko now? I thought you two hated each >other?" I asked while I washed some of the dirt off of my face. > "B-Ko can make me angry sometimes. With her upper-class superior look, and >the way she tries to kill me and take C-Ko," A-Ko said as she started >washing some of the dirt off her arms. Michelle: (A-ko) Sure, she tries to kill me every school day, but she's really nice! Go with me on this one! >"I do know that she is a good person >underneath though. I don't want to see her hurt." > "I understand," I said. "It's like me and my friend..." Tom: That should be "my friend and me." Mike: Don't nitpick. Tom: It's all I've got left! Mike: No! Don't give in! Think harder! >I stopped in mid >sentence and turned my head. > "What is it?" A-Ko said. > "I thought I saw something in the woods back there." Me and A-Ko stared >into the woods. Tom: "A-ko and I"... Mike: Tom, stop that or I will injure you. >Some thing moved in a bush 15 yards away. It made a >rustling sound. > "I see it. Its coming from that bush," A-Ko said pointing in front of us. Crow: Peeping Tom! Tom: Hey! >She started walking towards it and I quickly followed. We got about 5 feet >from it when it moved again. Rustling and moving behind the big bush. We >stopped, then I walked slowly over to the bush. I got in about one foot >from the bush when it stopped moving. I took another step forward and >looked over the bush. There was nothing there. I pushed through the >branches and still saw nothing. Michelle: What in the...? All that, and then... NOTHING? Mike: Adam *is* Ralph Melish! > I looked back at A-Ko with a confused look on my face. Just then a little >white creature came out from the bottom of the bush. I looked down and >stepped back. It was about one foot tall, with fluffy fur. Tom: Oh, no! It's Artemis!!! >It looked like >a thin rabbit with out the ears. "How cute," A-Ko said walking closer. Mike: (A-ko) Let's kill it! >She >kneeled down and petted it. > "I find it hard to believe that this little thing was making all that >movement in that bush." Michelle: Well, I find it hard to believe that someone could write without a brain, but that worked out, didn't it? Mike: Michelle, don't flame authors. It's evil. > "Well it's the only animal in it right?" > "I didn't see any more," I said as I kneeled down to see it close up. I >petted it on the head a little. " Just don't get it." It sniffed at my >hand curiously. I looked at A-Ko and said," Interesting little thing isn't >it." >Then it opened its moth as wide as a dog and roared. All: SURPRAHSE, SURPRAHSE! >I quickly looked back >to see a mouth twice the size of the animal in my face. It clamped down on >to my arm fast. Its teeth wasn't that sharp, but it had a very tight grip. > Before I had a chance to ask A-Ko to get this thing off of my arm it >started running. Tom: Gosh, this thing has an anti-fic sub-plot! Crow: He's trying to appease us! >Dragging me down the woods with amazing speed. A-Ko got >up and ran after it. The animal could jump so high it was astounding. We >went leaping from tree to tree. Banging me on every branch and rock. Mike: We're taking bets on his injuries! Michelle: Broken arm! Tom: Bruises! Crow: Bloody nose! >I saw >A-Ko close behind following us. I gave out a small yell after every time we >hit. "This...(tree limb) is...(small branch) not...(rocky ground) funny!" Michelle: Oh, I don't know, we find it pretty amusing! > "Hold on Adam. I'm coming," A-Ko said as she gained ground on us. She was >going through all the trees and anything that got in her way. Her speed was >truly amazing. She was getting closer, and closer. Crow: ...until she just decided,"Ah, screw it!" and ran back to the others. >The animal could se >that she was only a few feet away and started running across the ground, >gaining speed by taking the straightest route. A-Ko lost a couple of feet >on the animal, but that was it. Tom: "That was it"?!?!?! You just made her need prostetic limbs and you're saying "that was it"?!?! > Now I was getting dragged across the ground. I could feel my knees hitting >rock on every bounce. This was one wild ride. Every time we got closer to >the ground I tried to plant my feet into it. Mike: ...but they just wouldn't take root! >A couple of time I almost got >a good dig. Tom: Adam... Archaeologist by day, sloth by night! >Now that we were always over the ground I had more chances to >try it. I kept swinging my feet down hard into the ground. It slowed the >thing down a little. I was destroying my shoes, I didn't care. Michelle: (Adam)Yeah, that's just another hundred or so dollars that my parents'll have to pay for a pair of shoes that'll last another week or so... Mike: Damn Nikes... > Then one time I saw a thick pile of dirt below me. I dug me feet in and >the pile blew apart. This didn't stop it but it did slow it down enough for >A-Ko to catch up. Crow: So, A-ko was chasing the pile of dirt? Tom: (A-ko) It's hard to find good topsoil in these parts. You've gotta be fast to get it... >She reached forward and grab my legs and pulled back. >For a moment there I heard my spin crack when they both were pulling me in >opposite directions. The animal was stopped in mid air. Tom: Only momentarily, unfortunately, at which point the two oposing force pulled Adam in half, achieving the whole point of the fic! >It got yanked back >with me on top of A-Ko. We all fell to the ground. It leg go of my arm and >flew up against a tree. It sat there and growled at us with its misshapen >face. Michlle: It's the Phantom of the Opera of the Rabbit world! Crow: And A-ko's its Christine! >Then it ran quickly into the woods. The place was silent again. Me >and A-Ko just starred at were it left for a little wile. > I rolled off of A-Ko and onto the ground beside her. "Thank you," I said >with a moan. Mike: (A-ko) You think I saved your life for your sake? Heck no! You still owe me five bucks! >My whole body was in pain. It wasn't extreme, just I was sour >everywhere. Crow: I knew that it would turn into a *lemon* somewhere! All: (groan) >"Thanks for getting that thing off of me." > "No problem," She said with a little laugh. > "What's so funny?" Tom: (A-ko) Oh, just Frasier last night! He kills me! > "When you were..hehe..bouncing around the trees and..hehehehe..the >ground...It was just funny," She said trying to hide the laughter inside of >her. Michelle: Why hide it? Let it out, A-ko! > "I guess it was a little funny," I said trying to laugh. I probably would >have if it wasn't me. > "Hehe..are you OK?" > "Ya I'm all right. Just a little banged up." I rubbed a little dirt and >blood of off my forehead. Michelle and Tom: Yeah! Someone finally blew his brains out! Mike: Crow, are they scaring you, too? >I guess I got a small cut during all of the >commotion. A-Ko leaned over and brushed my hair to the side a little and >kissed it. Crow: This would be the point where the author's sex drive loses control over everything else. > "There, I hope that makes it feel better." > "Yea, it does. Thanks." Tom: (Adam) Did I mention that I got hurt on my d- Mike: TOM!!! Tom: My ... my... Oh, forget it! >It did feel good. Physically I think she had some >dirt on her lips that was causing it to sting more now, but mentally it >helped a lot. I was about to say something to her when I heard a noise. I >turned my head to look down the path we came down. Crow: No, we thought that you turned your finger towards the path! For Pete's sake, give the reader a bit more credit! > "There you are. We saw the destruction and got a little worried," Soun >said. "Hey! I found them! their over here!" He yelled back behind him. >Just then Raye, Darrien, Kuno, Happy, Michelle: (Happosai) How many times must I tell you to stop calling me that? It's Happosai to everyone except Cologne! now you must die!!! (Uses Shark Fist on the screen. Nothing happens) (herself) Damn! >and Nabiki came through the forest. > "Pay up Kuno baby, they weren't eaten by wild beasts," Nabiki said with a >smirk. > "The Kuno family will never Welsh on a bet," Kuno said with dismay and >pulled out some money from his robe. Tom: And where did he get that from...? All: We don't want to know... >"Here wench. Take your winning and be >off with you." > "Thanks Kuno baby." > "What happened to you two?" Darrien asked. "We heard a yell and then >crashing. Crow: (A-ko) It's the same reason that the two of us are sweaty and dirty, as though we had been rolling around or something. All: (put wrists out to get them slapped) >we followed the clearing of trees till we found you." > "So stupid animal grabbed me and dragged me through the woods." Tom: (A-ko) Don't call me a stupid animal! > "Wow, that had to be some huge animal to make this much destruction." > We both stood up and gave each other a look. "Ya huge," I said boasting. >"It was 20 feet tall, 2 tons, 8 arms..." All: (singing falsetto) Liar! Liar! > "Ten," A-Ko added. > "Ya ten. I was lucky it got tired and ran back into the woods." > Then from one of the bushes the little white menace hoped out. I gasped a >little. Crow: (Adam) Yeah, and don't come back, or I'll give you more of the... oh, sh(bleep)! > "How cute," Raye said as she went to pet it. > "Don't touch it!" Me and A-Ko said sincrenisly. All: (burst out laughing) What in the...?! > It looked over at us and ran back into the woods. > "Now you scared it off," Raye said a little upset. > I exhaled deeply. "What's that?" Soun said. I looked at him and saw him >pointing behind me. I turned around and saw small scattered structures a >little ways down. Mike: It's called a city. You know, it contains buildings, as is demonstrated nicely by this particular specimen, but that's not important now. > "I don't know. I think we should find out though," I said. "It could be >something that could help us." > I started walking and everyone followed behind. "Be careful Son," Soun >said. "A martial artist never rushes into a situation that is unknown to >them." Michelle: ...which would be why everyone is rushing into it anyway! > "Well I'm not a martial artist, and I will take my chance. the others that >our hurt need help. We have to chance it." We walked for about five more >minutes when we could start to make out what the structures were. Crow: (Adam) A city of outhouses? Finally! I've been holding it for the whole fic! >We were >deep in the woods now and this seemed to be a small village in the middle of >a clearing. You could hear talking and some people playing musical >instruments. Mike: It's Mister B's Summer Camp! Crow: (Mister B) Knew your father, I didn't want to! >As we got closer we could see the people. They looked normal, >well they still were anime, but normal anime. Not like Taro. Who I should >have warned Ranma about some time on this trip. Mike: Who? Tom, some help? Tom: Why you lookin' at me? Mike: You're the resident fanboy. >We all got to were the >trees ended and stopped. They didn't see us yet. > Continue Mike: Come on, guys, I think that the results of our election should be in by now! (All stand up to leave) Reverse Door sequence Outside, the bridge is decorated with streamers and baloons on one half. The other half has a couple of silent characters standing alone and in mourning. On the celebrating side, Tom moves up to the pedastal. "Thank you! Thank you!" Tom eclaims as if someone was cheering and applauding. "Yes, we looked the other people in the face and we said, 'I dare you!' They dared, and we have arisen victorious!" "In case you couldn't figure it out, which you probably couldn't be cause Tom didn't even name names," Michelle says, coming on screen, "Torgo has been declared the winner by all the powers that be, the voters!" Crow walks up to the microphone on his side and takes a deep breath. "Well, everyone, what can I say? We gave it our best, and it wasn't enough. We looked them in the face and said 'I dare you', and folks, they did. Now, I'm sure that Mister Ortega will understand. But remember, that the reason that we aren't celebrating isn't your fault. It's mine. I didn't bribe enough people." "I believe that Torgie will be very impressed and glad with this turn of events!" Tom exclaims. "I believe that our correspondants in Deep 13 have Torgo with them at this moment, and are giving him the once over with the questions." Deep 13 In Deep 13, Forrester is sitting in a chair beside Torgo. Frank is on their left. "So, Torgo, it seems that you have won! How do you feel?" Forrester asks. "I'm VeRy HaPpY, dR. fOrReStEr!" Torgo answers. "ThE mAsTeR wIlL bE vErY pLeAsEd If I cAn WiN a SeCoNd TeRm!" "Wait a second," Frank says, "Are we on TV?! HI, MOM!!! I'M ON TV!!" "Excuse me for a moment, Torgo," Forrester says, going off screen. The sound of him rummaging around in a closet fills the air for a moment, at which time he comes back with a bazooka. The scene cuts back to the Satellite. SoL "Well, thank you, guys!" Tom exclaims. The yellow light starts flashing, and Mike pushes the button for commercial sign. (Commercial break. Use the bathroom if you need to.) Everyone walks back into the theatre and sits down for yet another part. "When is this thing going to end?" Tom asks. "Never," Michelle answers grimly. > Chapter 5 (continued) > > There was a few houses made out of wood and a small market place too. Mike: Excuse me, but when did they wander into "Turok"? Michelle: Man, Gilligan's been doing pretty good for himself recently! >People were coming and going, busy as ever. This one woman walked out. She >was very attractive. Mike: Is anyone else here seeing a method to Adam's madness? Tom: I'm guessing that it has something to do with attempted comedy relief through Happosai gags... >Long blonde hair, blue eyes, hourglass figure, and >beautiful smile. Michelle: Yo, Adam, could you just go ahead and give us some names? It really helps if we know what anime *not* to watch in the future. >She was warring a white cotton shirt with short sleeves, >brown shorts that seemed to be made out of canvas, and a brown vest that >looked like raw hide. "Pretty lady!" Happosai jumped from behind a tree >and started running into the village. "Pretty lady! Pretty lady!!" Crow: Good call, Tom! >He >went right up to her and jump on to her chest, squeezing. Crow: Hey, look! She's getting Happy! Michelle: (slaps Crow) >She screamed and >threw him off. A crowd of people gathered around to see what all the >commotion was about. They were all looking at Happy on the ground and >talking. One of they looked up and saw us in the woods. "Hey, look! >there's people hiding in the woods." Mike: (character in the woods) Pay no attention to us! We're just trees! Tom: (villager) They pose a convincing argument... > This wasn't good. A small group of them drew unusual swords. Them seemed >to pulsate with energy. As if they were breathing. "What should we do?" >A-Ko asked. Michelle: (random character) How about we run around like chickens with our heads cut off? > "We should try to rationalize with them first, show them we are not >hostile," Soun replied. Tom: Yeah, not hostile MY ASS! I say we massacre the little freaks!!! > "That sounds good," I said. "Who is going to talk to them then?" > "I will take such a desperate command," Kuno said. He jumped from behind a >tree Tom: (random villager) Oh, my GOD!!! *blam, blam, blam!* Michelle: Are we sure that they're that civilized? All: Yes. >and started walking towards them. He took out his boken and waved it >in the air. Then he dropped it to the ground. The small group of five >stopped short of him. Mike: They then fell to the ground laughing their rear ends off... >They all looked angry, pointing the glowing swords at >him. "Come my friend let us not fight. It is uncivilized for ones such as >us to lower ourselves to this barbaric level. If we confront our >differences and mend them a new we..." All: SOMEBODY SHUT HIM UP!!! > Smack! One of the bigger guys hit Kuno across the head with the but of his >sword. All: Thank you! >He dropped like so much dead weight. Raye jumped out and stepped >towards them. "Hey wait, don't hurt him." > One of them turned and pointed his sword to Rayes neck. Tom: (Raye) Okay, hurt him all you want! >He was medium >build, short blonde hair, and muscular. He was warring black pants, a gray >shirt that opened at the top, and a black leather strap over across his >chest that held the sheath on his back for his sword. Mike: I'd like to see Happy try it with him! Rest: Eeeww! >"Why shouldn't I?" >He asked. Crow: (Raye) Because if you don't, we'll kick your ass...! Wait, that didn't come out right... > "Because we mean you no harm. We don't want to fight, we just want to >talk." > "How do I know that you're not lying?" He put the tip of his sword right >up to the skin of her neck. Tom: Good point. Kill her!!! > "Well...you should...uh..." > "Daikaku will you stop threating that poor girl. She is all ready scared >out of her wits," An old man said walking over to the man. He had a long >gray beard and was walking with a cane, Mike: Why do I get the feeling that this guy'll turn out to be a stoner who thinks that he has magical powers? Crow: What stoners don't? >He was warring a tattered old gray >rob, you could only see his gray shoes with it on. He also had this look >upon him of intrigue and wisdom. Michelle: Gandalf the Grey makes his debut in Sailor Moon! >His expression made him look younger than >he really was. Daikaku pulled back his sword. > "How do we know we can trust him. One of them attacked Sara." Crow: (Daikaku) Look how wet he got her! Rest: Crow!!! (Mike grabs the conveniently placed air sick bag for immediate use.) > "We are sorry about our friend," I said stepping out into the clearing. >"He has a weakness for beautiful women. Kind of a sickness if you will." Michelle: Yeah, he is a sicko, isn't he? > The old man looked back and saw happosai trying to grab another woman. >"Come little lady, don't you want to play with grandpa?" A really big guy >grabbed him in mid jump. "I don't think so old man," the man said. Tom: (man) Not before me! Michelle: You two are treading on thin ice... >He >stood about 7 feet tall, heavy set, and over sized in the muscle category. >he had short black hair and was warring a very dark green pair of pants, a >black shirt that the sleeves were ripped off, and had a sling over his >shoulder that held a huge ax. Mike: This guy reminds me of Perrin from the Wheel of Time series... Crow: And Adam reminds me of the Dark One... > "I see your point," the old man said. > "Well we all have fallen for a pretty face in our past. Even you can >understand that Daikaku." Michelle: (Daikaku) Not here, Steve! Not in front of the others! > Daikaku reshithed his sword, the others followed. "If you're not here to >attack us what do you want?" Crow: (Adam) We just want to sell you some encyclopedias! Michelle: (Daikaku) Kill them!!! > "We need help. Some of friends are seriously wounded and need medical >attention," I said. > "We will be glad to help. It brings honor to our village to do so." Tom: (old man) And there's no chance at all whatsoever that you're just spies for the enemy and you're just trying to get us out of the safety of our village so that you can use the waiting warriors that you brought with you to trap us and use us in horrible, unspeakable scientific experiments! Michelle: The stupidity that goes on and on and on and on and on and on... >The >old man said. Daikaku, take Ichiru and some others to help them." Daikaku >ran back to the big guy. He put Happy in a small cage and followed him into >a house. The big guy was Ichiru. Mike: Which big guy? The big guy with pecs three feet wide, five feet wide, or seven feet wide? > "Nabiki, Kuno, and I will escort them back," Darrien said. > Soun gave him a nod. A few moments later they returned with five others. >They were carrying supplies and ancient stretchers. Mike: (Adam) No, not the torture racks! The stretchers that you carry the sick people on...! Yes, I know that that thing makes them sick, but we don't want that to happen... > "We are a small village, this is all the supplies we have," the old man >said. Crow: (Old guy) And we're sacrificing our time, energy, and supplies to help out these probable spies! Tom: These guys are such innoents... > "This is more than enough," Soun said. "You have my eternal gratitude." >They ran into the woods and were out of site in a few seconds. Crow: (Soun) Ha! Suckers! > "Please come inside. We can sit and discuss," the old man said. "My name >is Yoshinari, I am the wise man of this village. I'm 200 years old if I'm a >day. Tom: Oh, come on... you're 200 years *young*! >And I bet you have a very interesting story to tell me. Very >interesting." > We walked into the center of the village and into a big wooden house shaped >like a rectangle. Michelle: (Big Bird) And what shape is a rectangle, children? Rest: The one with three sides! Michelle: (same) No!!! You got it WRONG!!! Try it AGAIN!!! >Inside it held a hall with benches along the walls. The >old man walked to the back of the building and sat down in this big old >chair. All: (sounds of bones cracking) >We all sat down on one of the benches along the wall. The woman who >was attacked by Happosai came in after us, carrying Happy in a small cage. Mike: (Happosai) Polly want a cracker, my ass! >She walked up next to the old man, put happy on the floor, and sat down >besides him on a small stool. That was Sara. > "So what brings you to Kagatsura forest?" The old man asked "I have never >seen you around here before. And I know everyone in this forest and from >Atsuka castle." Tom: (old guy) Well, except for that guy sitting in the corner over there. Isn't that right, Bob! Crow: (other guy) My name's not Bob. It's Tim. > "We are not from around here," Raye said. "We don't even know were here >is. You see we were looking for..." Raye went on to tell our story. Mike: And to make a long story short... Michelle: We wished... >How I >came from another world and how we got sent here after fighting with the >leaders of the army of the 7th. The old man listened with interest. Mike: (old guy snoring) > "Well your story is typical for the area," Yoshinari said. "This land is >mostly populated by foreigners from other worlds. I was born here, but my >parents were not. Sara here was brought to us 5 years ago by the same ways >you were brought to us." Tom: Speaking of deliveries, why do Ige the idea that the stork was drunk when he dropped off Adam here? > Sara seemed like an odd name for this area. Everyone here, even form >different worlds, had Japanese type names. Hers was more like mine. Very >American. Crow: Why do I get the idea that Sara is someone that Adam met in a chat room somewhere? >"We were all brought her for many reasons, but basically from the >same source. I remember when I was young my mother would tell me about the >Army of the 7th. How the destroyed our home world and sent everyone here >for slave labor. Michelle: Until Martinoko Lutherinka Kingmi Juniorchi, the Japanese civil rights activist, staged an uprising in the Northern Carolinistanian mountains. >It took me 100 years to get out of that place. They threw >me away like garbage. Thinking I was dead. The people form this village >found me and brought me back to health. Now we are mostly escapees and >interdimentional mishaps." > "Who are the Army of the 7th?" Soun asked. Mike: (old guy) Mostly extras from the seventh season of "Star Trek: The Next Generation"... > "The army of the 7th is a murderess group. They have been traveling from >dimension to dimension for over 1000 years. They were first known as kerrs >army, Tom: Named after the drug store for which their founder first worked... >named after their former leader. They came from some far off world >light years away. They invented inter dimensional travel after they >discovered that there world was dyeing. Crow: They left because their world became hippies and started making funkadellic T- shirts? >They traveled many worlds killing >and destroying. After their home world vanished they set up a main base on >another planet with three moons. These three moons gave the planet this >amazing force of energy. It radiated all over the planet. It was especially >strong on the 7th continent. Michelle: Man, this is some sort of interdimensional soap-opera without the twin sisters and long-lost second-cousins twice-removed... >This is were Kerrs army landed. They used the >Moons power to over power the rest of the planet. After Kerr died in became >to be known as the Army of the 7th. Mike: Dead founder? Screw him! >They came to this planet 500 years ago, >they raped and pillaged the land. Atsuka castle use to be the capital of >this nation before they came. Now it is the Army of the 7ths stronghold of >the area. Tom: You know, Wizards of the Coast could sue. Crow: They ripped off the Rath cycle! Michelle: And crossed it over with Ani-mayhem! >Their new leader, Lord Jindi, is trying to double the Armies >control over dimensions. He does that every dimension is in danger. He is >too much like Kerr. He finds pleasure in leading all these conquers. As >you can tell with your fight with him." Michelle: (Adam) The only thing that our battle taught me is that that Lord Jindi is some sort of big dickweed, and that's reason enough for myself to smite his ass with the help of my future wives, Jupiter, Rini, Nabiki, and A-ko! > The Yoshinari looked sad about this fact. As if he had already given up >hope for a safe world. "We can't let this happen," Raye said. "He is >trying to destroy our world now, and I won't let him do that." Mike: Why not? On the bright side, Melvin would be dead! On the down-side, Rini and Darrien would still be alive. > "I wish I could help you miss, but you see their army is to great." > "I'm not giving up. I'll fight for my world until there's nothing there to >fight for." Tom: Who just said that? > "We can not let this happen," Soun added. > "There is no way Their taking my world with out a fight," A-Ko said. > "I won't stop till their army is destroyed. Mabey a small kiss would give >me inspiration to fight," Happy said trying to reach for Sara through the >cage. Crow: (Adam) No! You can't have her! She's mine! They're all mine! >She just kicked him to the side. > "After they conquer their world they will probably come after Earth," I >said. Sara's eyes widened when I said that. She looked at me with a look >of disbelief. Mike: (Sara) Some detail that I could have easily figured out for myself that I am just now having confirmed to me by a total stranger whom is probably a spy for the other side? Oh, no! > "Well I am happy that you want to help. I don't know how your going to do >it though," Yoshinari said scratching his beard. > "We will find away," Raye said. "You said that their main forces here are >at Atsuka castle right." Mike: Tactical error number five-thousand, two-hundred and forty-two! Michelle: And these stone-age sods haven't won yet? > "Yes, all the arms, soldiers, and slaves." > "Well does anyone here know how to get into the castle?" > "Yes, Daikaku is the leader of our rescue missions to the castle. He knows >everything about it." Michelle: I'd just like again to point out how pitpful these guys must be to have not gone in and taken out the leader before now... > "Well if we get into the castle we can try to take out their main command >and use their dimensional portal to get back to our world." > "Storming the castle isn't like crashing a party," daikaku said as he >walked in to the room. "They have high security, armed guards, and more >men." Tom: (Daikaku) And yet we know every nook and cranny in the flippin' place! Why haven't we won, again? > "Daikaku your back. Did you find the wounded?" Yoshinari asked. > "Yes they were on the eastside of the forest. It lucky we got there >quick. One of them, I think his name was Ramna or something." > "Ranma?" Soun asked. All: (singing) You call it Ramna, I call it Ranma, let's call the whole thing off! > "Ya that's it, he would have died out there with out getting attended to >soon." > "Were are they now." > "There in the medic house next door." The door swung open and Darrien and >reni came walking in. Michelle: (Adam) Damn it, didn't I pay you extra to lose these guys after you were out of the village? > "Well thanks to these guys it looks like everyone is going to make it," >Darrien said. "Lita is OK, Shampoo is getting bandaged, B-Ko still needs >help but she is awake now. Ranma...were still waiting to see if he wakes >up." > "I hope he's OK," Reni said. > "So how are you going to pull this little attack of yours off now," Daikaku >asked with a smirk. Mike: (Adam) Through a carefully-crafted technique that I like to call "writer's initiative"... > I have a vague idea," Raye said. "But I will need to know more about the >castle for the details." > "Well the map room is down a couple of houses, let's go take a look. I'm >curious about your plan." Tom: If it has anything to do with calling out, "Fire drill" and ringing a bell, I'm leaving... > Daikaku started to lead us out the door when Sara came up behind me and >grabbed my arm. I turned around to see her stand there. "Excuse me, but >did you say 'Earth' back there," she asked. Mike: (Adam) No, actually, I said knaksjsdhoadhrfiugergfjhsadercal. You should listen closer... > "Ya that's the world I'm from. I was just saying that they could destroy >my world too if we don't stop them." > "I can't believe this, your from earth. I am too." This was a surprise, >but it did explain her name. "I'm from San Diego California. I was >sunbathing by my pool when this cloud came over my house. I went to grab my >sunglasses and my towel when this light flash in front of me. Michelle: I'm telling you, he met her somewhere on the internet... Crow: Maybe at some coffee shop in his home-town. >The next >thing I knew I was lying in the woods a mile from here. I was only 17 then >and Daikaku found me and took me to this village. If he hadn't found me I >most likely would have died or had been take to the castle." Tom: Yep, all trenagers are completely helpless. They'll destroy themselves within twelve hours of abandonment if not properly overseen. > "That is amazing. I'm for Massachusetts. I got sent to their world by a >freak accident too." > "Can I ask you a favor?" > "Sure, what?" > "If you find your way home, can I go too?" Tom: (Adam) Only if you promise to become my willing slave whenever I'm here. > "I see no reason why not." > "Thank you very much. I have missed my family for so long." Mike: I don't know what was wrong with this kid. I mean, I would have paid any amount of money to get away from my parents when I was a teenager. > "Your welcome." We walked out the door and back into the village streets. >I saw Daikaku towards the map room. I looked at the strange sword that he >had in the hilt of his belt. It was still pulsating with energy. I swear >that I saw it move a little. I walk up behind him. He sensed me behind him >and turned his head at me. "What Kind of sword is that?" I asked. Michelle: (Daikaku) It's called the Adam-smiter. Don't be intimidated by the name. I haven't actually used it on anyone who wasn't named Adam before... > "It's just a broad sword," He replied. > "Then what makes that glow?" > "That's the Esber." > "The what?" Crow: It's the cheap rip-off of a Final-Fantasy 3 concept. Tom: What it is is about one letter away from a hefty law-suit... > "The Esber. It's a biological weapon. It grows deep with in the >mountains. Alone it's just a weird looking plant. But if its attached to >anything it grows in strength and it gives it strength to whatever it's >attached to. My sword has had the same Esber on it for 10 years. Crow: (Daikaku) Actually, it was due in for a srvicing about three years ago. But I see no need to trust it to those quack mechanics... >It has >grown very strong." > "So it enhances strength by experience." > "Yes. It has given me great strength and power. I have learned a lot from >my sword. It is a part of me now." Michelle: (Adam) So that's why there's an umbilical cord attatched to you and the sword... > "Can it only added to swords?" > "It can be added to anything. Swords, ax's, guns, shields, tanks, even >living things." > "You mean like people?" Tom: (Daikaku) No, more like the bunny-rabbit type of living things... > "Exactly." > We continued walking until we got into the map room. ; I went over to main >table were Raye was explaining her plan. Crow: (Raye) And then, we hit them with the whipped-cream pies right here. The seltzer bottles come right afterwards. Mike: (ibid) My internship at the Bozo the Clown school of military tactics really has helped the Sailor Scouts! > "...then we go through this hallway and into the main complex. Up two >flights of stairs and we're in the control room. " > "That whole area is heavily guarded. you will never get close enough to >even see the control room," daikaku said. "And what are you going to do >when you get into the control room?" Raye stood there as a bead of >sweat rolled of her forehead. Crow: (Raye) Could somebody turn down the heat? We're trying to make a battle plan here! >"Well we will...we can..." "I have an >idea," I said. I looked over the maps and got an idea. > "What's your idea?" Ichiru said. Who was practically standing on top >of me. "Well if you look here at the base of the castle you can see >that..." Michelle: (Adam) You can see that the wall is made of a thin paper-like material. Now, if we can tear through here like so... we can easily take their army on! > Back in Nerima Generals Goth and Aboshi were monitoring the portal. >"This building is to small to bring in the main army," Goth said over a >video screen. Mike: (Aboshi) It is? Damn! We're foiled! Call off the attack! > "Well then shift the attack forces over to an alternative site," Jindi >said from the other side of the video screen. "General Aboshi." > "Yes lord." All: Ahh! Tom: Don't do that! > "You will lead the forces to the east. General Tarpen leads the west >when he returns from Atsuka castle. And Goth will lead the main forces." > "yes master." Crow: (Aboshi) And what will we be doing, Sir Loads-a-lot? > "I have found a new location lord," Goth said typing at the keyboard. >"A field just north of here. Its big enough for the main forces to march >across." > "Good. We will attack at sunrise of the next day. That gives you 18 >hours to prepare the army." Tom: Is Adam trying to create some sort of suspense here? He really is failing... > "It will be done my lord." > > "Very good. Keep me informed," Jindi said as he turned off his video >screen. He sat back on his thrown thinking. Crow: (sports announcer) And the pass is good! The thought is on the 30... the 20... the 10... he could go all the way! >An evil smile came across his >face. He was on the base on the 7th continent, his main room. Guards were >lined up against the wall. Black metal wall made to look like old brick >with red tapestries hanging down from the walls. Michelle: Whose interior decorator did they kill to get that look made? > "Soon we will have another city. Then were world, then there >universe.," Tamasuza said walking in warring a purple robe and carrying two >glasses of some drink. She walked over to Jindi and gave him a drink. Tom: (Tamasuza) Sir, are you sure that you wanted sulfuric acid to drink? >She >kissed him a hard and then he drank for the glass. "What's wrong my lord?" Mike: (Jindi) That kiss is what's wrong... > "Its not a challenge any more. These pathetic worlds are to easy. Its >like taking candy from an infant." Crow: Then, maybe you should stop trying to conquer planets like Mars and Pluto, and go for one that's actually populated. Like Earth, maybe? >he took another drink from the glass and >then through it on the ground. It shattered into shards. Two little slave >children came over quickly and cleaned up the mess. Michelle: Hey, look! It's Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen! Mike: Good... >Jindi didn't even look >at them. > "I almost thought we would have a real with that group in the building. >But those weaklings disappointed be, like all the others before them." > "Where did you send them anyway?" Tom: He sent them to the "It's a Small World After All" ride at Disney World! (All scream in terror) > "I don't really know. Koga, the dessert of Sur, Hoth, the Kagatsura >forest. they could have gone anywhere," he said with a laugh. He grabbed >Tamasuza and pulled her close to his face. "Enough about them, lets concern >ourselves with us." He grabbed her by the arm and led her behind the >curtains behind the thrown. Crow: Finally, a good scene! > Chapter 6-Atsuka Castle Michelle: Not quite... Crow: Man, what a crock! I can't believe that! All that, leading up to... THIS!!! I was expecting something like "The Outlanders"! Mike: Calm down, Crow, he would have written it badly, anyway... Let's get out of here... Reverse door sequence On the Bridge of the Satellite, Tom and Crow are standing in very busines-like suits, holding a thick book with green covering. A backdrop drops down behind them, showing a talk-show setup. "Hello, everybody," Tom says, "And welcome to 'Thank God They Invented It.' Today, we have something that has been long in the making, ever since this series began!" Crow holds up the book, then says, "It's the 'Mystery Science Theatre 3000 Unabridged Fanfiction Dictionary!' It contains such helpful words as, 'gardog,' 'frogned,' 'secuence,' 'perturbated,' 'hcase,' 'sincrenisly,' and 'tiss.' The book has definitions, parts of speech, synonyms, antonyms, usage in a sentence, and pronuncation keys." "Let's take a look at one definition in particular, shall we?" Tom says, opening the book to a marked page. "We'll look at one from today's fic, 'sincrenisly.'" Sin-cren-is-ly: (sin-crehn-is-lee); adv.-happening in such a way as to confuse all viewers. "Don't touch it!" Me and A-Ko said sincrenisly. (Editor's note: Please pay no attention to the grammar of the rest of the sentence. This was due to bad planning and shall not be repeated again.) Synonyms-amazerably. antonyms-clarvesently. "Amazing!" Crow exclaims. "I never even knew that! Why don't we take a different word? This time, it comes from our friend, Koopa!" Crock: (crahk); v.-to make a sound as if throwing up. The frogs at the swamp are crocking. Synonyms-glurp. Antonyms-none. "Wow!" Tom exclaims. "It never made this much sense! So call now and buy your copy of this amazing book! You'll never regret it!" The screen is filled with a list of directions. 1. Call 1-800-UBITEME. 2. Give us the information that we request. 3. The cost is $59.99 for one copy, $100 for two! The screen returns to Tom and Crow, who have been joined by Michelle and Mike. "We fully endorse this fully accurate and extremely informative book!" Mike says. "This book changed my life!" Michelle exclaims. "So, order today, before this offer is stricken from the records!" Tom exclaims. Mike presses the flashing red button. "So, what do you think, sirs?" Deep 13 Frank is dialing the phone to order a copy of the dictionary. Forrester cuts the line (literally) and throws the phone in the trash. "Frank, do you have the next part of the fic ready to send them?" Forrester asks. "Well, Steve, I've been meaning to talk to you about that," Frank says. "I kinda' lost the last chapter that he has up, and I lost the adress of his site. It'll take us a while to find the fic again." Frank cringed in fear of retribution. Forrester took it amazingly well, though. "All right, Frank. We're not breaking their spirits with this fic. I suppose that we'll have to try another one. Now, I do still have to kill you, you know. Company policy and all." "What policy?" Frank asks. "Well, it says right here in section 93, paragraph 459-B!" Forrester pulls out a scroll of paper. "If above signed employee, you Frank, does anything that goes against the purpose of breaking the wills of the experiment, he will be killed, only to reappear in the next episode in perfect health. There. In black and white. Now, how will it be? Electrotherapy? Scissors? The Box?" "I'll take the box," Frank says after a moment of thought. "Right, then, press the button and we'll get on it!" *Blip* *FWOOSH!* Thus ends this God-awfully long fic. I'm getting on with one that I've been holding back for a very long time. Anyway, thanks to Adam Sheehan for writing the fic. Thanks to everybody who read this for reading it. Thanks to myself for doing it. I don't own anything except for Michelle. Original fic by: Adam Sheehan MSTing by: M. H. Torringjan MST3K created by: Joel Hodgson MST3K porduced by: Best Brains, Inc. >He purchased the MTG3000 satellite dish(one of >the biggest satellite dishes in the world) . This dish was once owned by >NASA(the American space program). It was used to pick up any surposed >interdimentional signals. Lost Worlds Part 4 Original fic by: Adam Sheehan MSTing by: M. H. Torringjan Insert the usual comments here. I don't own Sailor Moon. Naoko Takeuchi does. I don't own Ranma 1/2. Rumiko Takahashi does. I don't own MST3K. Best Brains does. I made up Michelle. Now, you may wonder how long this thig's going to be. Adam wrote six parts, and he says that there will be more. In other words, I've got my work cut out for me. I didn't even know that parts four through six had two sub-chapters instead of one long story! Sucks, doesn't it? Well, this MSTing isn't meant to insult the author in any way, shape, or form. Just his God-awful story. I'm sure that he has many other very good works, it's just that this one isn't one of his good ones. When we rejoin the bots and humans, they're on the bridge, with spaced-out looks on their faces. "Mike," Tom says, "Are we in Hell?" "Tom, I believe that we are," Mike replies. "Who could do anything so bad as to deserve this kind of torture?!" Michelle cries out. "Three anime series in one fic? What twisted mind hath wrought this twisted mind?" "I think that it's the same type of person who approved the funding for this experiment," Crow says. "Maybe we should just give in," Tom says. "Nani?!?!" Everyone else exclaims. "Give in after all this?" Mike says. "We can't give in! We've been through worse than this on one of our better days! The only thing that's holding us back is that little self- insert! What would have happened if we had given up at the hands of 'Artemis's Lover'? What if we had given up on 'A-ko: The College Years' (the second part)? What if we had stopped right then and there when faced with Tuxedo Chris? Dammit, we didn't! And because we didn't, we can take more, we are made stronger! It's not like you need a tutor to get through a six-part fanfic crossover self insertion! All we need is each other! We can do it! We will do it! Join me, my friends!" The others stare at him as though he has gone crazy. "Yeah, anyway," Tom says, unimpressed. "Should we give in?" "Nah," Michelle says. "Let's just hope that it doesn't get any worse." just then, Fanfic Sign goes off. Door 6: It's a curtain of peace beads. You push them out of the way and get a whiff of marijuana smoke as you pass through. Door 5: It opens from the center, spiralling outward. Door 4: It's a castle moat. The gate falls and misses your feet by inches. Door 3: It's a wall of bone. You break it down, only to have it rebuilt by an invisible force. You decide to go around it instead. Door 2: It's in the shape of a heart. You board a small ship and ride it through the door. Door 1: It's a vault door. The center ring swirls and the door opens easily. Everyone takes their seats. Michelle wonders exactly what Mike was smoking to make him give that speech. > Lost Worlds > Chapter 4 > Dimensional Evil > >Author's notes: This forth chapter is an important one. I shake up the stroy >here. It is good for this chapter that you know the storys behind Ranma 1/2, >Sailor Moon, & Project A-Ko. Michelle: ...and perhaps the obscure anime that was introduced in the previous part. >It won't make that much sence if you don't. >Don't be alarmed if some of the charecters you don't know. Some of them I >have created. If you don't understand Ranma 1/2's story or Sailor Moon, >please take a look at my Ranma page, my Sailor Moon page, or my Project A-Ko >page. E-mail me with any comments you might have. mavarick7@aol.com > >Adam Tom: A.K.A. Anime Butcher... >CHAPTER 4 > >Dimensional Evil > > "That's the whole story Mr. Daitokuji. I know its a little far fetched, >but its the truth." > He looked at me now with a curios look instead of an angry one. Mike: Exactly how do you anger a cabinet? >They all >looked like they were interested. Except for the people who already knew >the story. "Well if that's your story then it is a little hard to >believe." Mr. Daitokuji said. Do you have any proof of this?" Crow: (Adam) How else could I be so absurdly dressed? > I never was asked for proof before. Everyone just believed me. I took the >blinding trust here for granted. I thought for a second. "Actually yes I >do. Two pieces of it your honor." I said acting like I just found the >murder weapon to a huge court case. Michelle: Insert random O.J. Simpson comment here. > I reached into my wallet and pulled out a card. It was a business card for >a local comic store 'Comic Toast'. It had the usual information for the >store. Telephone number, address, and what they sold. There was also a >picture of Ranma, Wolverine, and the Tick. Underneath the picture of Ranma >it said, "Assorted Anime sold here." Tom: Sponsor of anime crossovers and otakus everywhere! > I gave the card to Mr. Daitokuji. Everyone else gathered around to look at >it. "Hey, that's me on that card." Ranma said in astonishment. > "OK, what's your other proof?" Mr. Daitokuji asked as he gave me back the >card. Mike: Adam is a beer? Crow: Not much of one. His proof equals his IQ. > I started telling him about all the Project A-Ko videos I saw. He looked >at me in amazement. The guards laughed when I told them about the time Mr. >Daitokuji tried to catch a spaceship with his hands. Wile warring his >daughters power suite. Michelle: (shudders) Don't remind me. I can still se the bikini area when I close my eyes. >I think he believed me from that point on. > "Well that's quite a story son." He said will drinking some tea that one of >the girls that worked that worked there brought him. "So your looking for >your way back home. Well since this is a special circumstance, I'll let you >go." Tom: Are we surprised? > "Thank you Mr. Daitokuji." Ranma and I both said. > "So do you need any help?" > "Well I don't know what you could do for me. Unless you can make that dish >into an interdimesional gateway." I said with a laugh. Mike: Ironically, they destroyed the equipment that could do that during their little rampage earlier. > "No, I'm sorry I can't do that." He said with a laugh. "But I can let my >daughter help you. She knows a lot about that sort of thing." > "What!" B-Ko said with a surprise. "You can't be serious father. They >tied me up and almost killed me." Crow: (Mr. Daitokuji) One good mark on their records! > "It was a little misunderstanding my dear. Its only customary to help out >people in need. Michelle: (Mr. Datiokuji) Just get him the hell out of here! >and it will look great to the press." He leaned over to me >and whispered," If you do find the portal to get you back home, tell me >about it. I could sell that thing for millions." Tom: If the US government doesn't come and take it away first, yes. > B-Ko did not look happy with her fathers desition. Actually she was >giving me a death stare. > "Hey! That sounds like fun!" C-Ko said jumping up and down. "Can I come >too?" > "Of course you can. Finally time to be C-Ko." B-Ko said in a much happier >tone. Tom: By day, mild-mannered (figuratively speaking) B-Ko. By night, loud-mouthed, obnoxious C-Ko! > "Well If you two are going, then I'm going too." A-Ko said. "If that's OK >with you guys?" > "Sure." I said quickly. "I have no problem with that." Damned Red >heads. They always did make me lightheaded. Mike: Let's see here, a crush on Nabiki, Lita, A-ko, and Rini. Normal Self-insertion fetish. Crow: But isn't A-ko already C-ko's- Mike: SHUT UP!!! > "Let me call the other scouts and see how they are doing." Lita said. She >pulled out her communicator and started talking to it. "Amy come in. This >is Lita." There was only static. "Serrina are you there? This is Lita." >Still just static. Michelle: They finally saved themselves and got out of the fic! >"That's strange, its unlike Amy or even Serrina to not >answer there communicators." > I did seem kind of odd. Tom: I'm all behind you on that one! >Amy was the most level headed of the whole group. >Some thing just didn't sit well with me about this. "Raye, this is Lita. >Are you there?" > "Yea I'm here Lita. What's up?" Mike: The sky? Crow: The National Debt? Michelle: My lunch? > "Did you have any luck finding anything?" > "I'm afraid not. Just a dead end lead." > "Same here. Where are you know?" > "We're back in Nerima. The Cat cafe." Tom: Garfield? Mike: Artemis? Crow: Speedy? > "Do you know what happened to the other group? I tried to reach them and I >couldn't." > "I don't know. I had the same problem. All I got was static. I hope >their all right." > "I think we should go check it out. Amy and Serrina have locators in there >communicator. Michelle: Their communicators happen to be located in the middle of a large plot contrivance... >We can find them that way." Lita turned on here locator on >her communicator. It was still showing that they were down town. Serrina's >one was about ten feet from Amy's. > "Lets meet down town at the bus depot in 30 minutes." > "OK, we can figure things out when we get there." > "OK" and the screen when out. Tom: OK. Mike: OK. Crow: OK. Michelle: OK. > "Well we're going to go down town to find Amy, Serrina, Darrien, and >Akane." > "Stupid Akane, what has she done now." Ranma added. Tom: Sure, Ranma, it's always Akane's fault. > "We better get moving if we want to be there in half an hour," Lita said. > "You don't need to take the bus," Mr. Daitokuji said. "I have stretched >limos that can take you there. Mike: Hot off the Rack! >It will be quicker. > "Yea," Reni said. "We're going for a ride." Michelle: (Bugsy) Take him for a ride, Rocko. Tom: (Bugs Bunny) We're going for a ride? I'll get my gloves! > Mr. Daitokuji snapped his fingers and 8 guards left the room and headed for >the garage. They quickly brought on of the biggest limos I have ever seen >up to the front of the mansion. Crow: Sure, you always ride limos to a battle that could decide the future of the universe. Michelle: What, you don't? Mike: Well, the Darkstalkers do. >You could see them clearly through one of >the holes in the walls that was caused by all the gunfire. > "Well we better get going," I said. "Thank you very much Mr. Daitokuji. >Sorry about your property." > "Don't worry about it any more son. I'll take care of every thing." Tom: (Mr. Daitokuji) Be expecting my bill soon... > We went out the front doors, one of them were on the ground, and out to the >limo. Now we had three more people to help out. This group of adventures >was getting bigger by the minute. I had a very good feeling about finding >my way home at that point. Mike: Well, at this rate, you'll have every character in all of anime under your control by the end of the chapter. > Darrien opened his eyes slowly. He woke up with a headache. He looked >around. He was lieing on the floor of some dark room. The walls, ceiling, >and floors were old cement. Cracking from age. There was a florescent tube >over head flickering on and off. There were rusted bars in the front, this >was the only entrance to the small hole. The girls were also in the cell. Crow: Darien is a girl?!?! Michelle: I always knew it... >They were lieing on the floor, out cold. Darrien leaned over to Serrina and >tried to wake her up. > "Serrina. Serrina wake up," He said quietly. > "I don't want to go to school mom. Its Saturday," Serrina mumbled in a >daze. Tom: What's she talking about, school? She's got an appointment in the sweat shops! > "Come on wake up. Serrina wake up" Mike: (Darien) Wake up, honey, we're at grandma's! > Serina started to open her eyes. they she opened them up quickly and sat >up. "Where are we?" > "I don't know. It looks like we are still in the basement of the abandoned >building. You wake up Akane and Amy. I'll look and see if I can find a way >out." Crow: ...and they tunnel right up in the middle of a nuclear blast! > "OK," she said and started to wake up the other girls. > Darrien crawled over to the bars and looked through them. He saw a lot of >other old cells like the one they were in. there was about seven others. >It was a long corridor with neon tubes going down the ceiling. Michelle: ...Spelling out, "Eat At Joe's"... >He could see >a light flickering around the bend of the corridor. There were shadows >moving in it. He could hear faint talking. He leaned over to put his hand >through the bar to get a better look. Tom: He's a mutant! He's got eyes on his hand! Michelle: I always knew it... > Zap! Mike: The Orkin Man! >He leaped back away from the bars. "Are you OK Darrien," Serrina >said coming to his aid. > "Yea, I'm fine. The door is protected by some sort of force field." > "But of course it is my friend," Crow: You have a door for a friend, you have a dull life! >A voice said coming down the hall. "You >don't think we would just let you stay here unguarded." The same men they >say earlier came to the front of the cell. "That little box right there is >my own little invention." The smaller man with the golden armor said, >pointing to a small black box on the floor across form the cell. Michelle: ...recovered from TWA flight 800... >It had >green and red lights on it. "It is surrounding this cell with a force >field, and you will not brae through it. Well unless you have some sort of >nuclear devise with you." Tom: (Serena) Well, actually, I happen to have one in my pocketbook! Mike: Saving it for a rainy day, huh? > "I don't know who you are, but your not getting away with this," Darrien >said. > "That's where you are mistaken boy. I all ready have. This building is >going to be demolished in 3 days. Crow: (guy) If its speed drops below 55 miles per- (boom!) >No one will find you till then." > "We have friends that will find us. Don't underestimate us or you'll be >sorry," Serrina said trying to show that she wasn't afraid of them. Michelle: Pardon me? Serena not being afraid? Out of character! > "And how are they going to find you? With this?" He held up Serrinas >communicator in his hand. Then he crushed it in his fist. He dropped the >shattered remains on to the ground. "You see no one will come looking for >you at all." He said with a laugh. Tom: That's funny. Mike: Funny "ha-ha" or funny "strange"? Tom: Funny "I think that I'm going to lose my lunch". > "Who are you, and what do you want with us," Akane said. > "Oh, excuse me for not introducing myself. My name is Lord Jindi, and this >is my top general Goth." Crow: (Jindi) He's extremely gross. > Goth stepped towards the cell with a mean look on his face. "Goth here has >wiped out entire civilizations with my armies." Michelle: They're the original odd couple! > "I can snap you in half and you wouldn't know it till after you were dead, >but don't worry pretty lady, I won't hurt you if your nice to me," Goth said >as took the shield down with a remote he had in his hand. He reached his >hand through the bars and grabbed Serrinas arm, pulling her closer. Tom: (Serena) Tuxedo who? > "Not on you life creep," She said and swung her leg between the bars and >caught him right between the legs. Mike: Ow! He's gonna be singing falseto for a while! > He through her back and turned the force field back on. "Give time my >pretty. You will learn to be nice to me," He said with a laugh. Crow: That is one helluva guy, if he can laugh after a blow like that! Michelle: Maybe she missed. Crow: Is that a size comment? Michelle: (blushing) No, it's a baggy pants comment! > "That's enough play time Goth go back and regulate the temporal field so >that Lady Mistress Tamasuza can get here," Jindi said. > "Yes master." Goth walked back down the corridor and out of site. > "Well you will have plenty of time to think about what you want to do with >the last days of your life. Tom: (Serena) I want to eat all the flavors of Baskin Robins Ice Cream! >Not too many choices from in there." > "Where are you from. Your not from this world. I can tell that much about >your charade," Amy said. Mike: Hey, Amy! Got a dictionary? LOOK IT UP!!! > This perked his interest. "Well little lady your correct in you >assumption. I am not from this world, or any one you have every heard of. >I am the ruler of my world. We are traveling from dimension to dimension >conquering worlds. Yours is next. We have huge armies waiting on the other >side of this gateway to destroy this land, Crow: ...to make way for a new hyperspace bypass. >and take it for everything its >got. We would have done this by now if it wasn't for a malfunctioning >gateway. If you have meet anyone else that seems out of place, there >probably the byproduct of a malfunctioning gateway. Don't worry, the guy >who constructed it has already been killed. We don't except failure in the >army of 7th." Michelle: You want a wimp's army? Join the US Postal Service! > He laughed and walked away. "Goth is the portal ready yet?" > "yes master. Mistress Tamasuza and the other generals will be here >shortly." Tom: Malachite? Mike: Nephlite? Crow: Zoycite? Michelle: Not another revival fic! > Darrien sat down next to the bars in discouragement. "Now what are we >going to do? There is no way of getting through that force field, and they >destroyed Serrinas communicator." > "There is still one chance we have left," Amy said. > "What might that be? Tom: The incredible power of *PLOT CONTRIVANCE!!!* >Hoping that we be real nice to the big ogre there so >that he will let us go," Serrina said still in some shock from Goth grabbing >her. Crow: ...and finding out why her nickname was Wonderbra. > "They didn't find my communicator. I dropped it when we were behind the >crates." > "Then our only hope is that it does not get found and that the others >realize that we have gone missing," Akane said. > "All we can do now is sit and wait." Serrina said. Mike: And what would they do otherwise? > "Lets hope the others find us before its too late," Darrien said as he put >his head down. Serrina laid her head in his lap and closed her eyes to take >a nap. Tom: (Jindi) You wanna kill them? Crow: (Goth) Nah, let's fu- Mike: (clamps both their mouths shut) > When we pulled up to the bus depot Raye, Kasumi, Mina, and the cats were >just stepping off a bus that was spitting out black smoke. It left a cloud >around them when it took off. The limo pulled right up in front of them. Mike: Drive by shooting! Crow: Bob Packwood out looking for some entertainment! Michelle: Pardon me, do you have any Grey Pupon? > I rolled down the window and said in a bad British accent, "excuse me, but >do you have and grey pu pone?" Michelle: D'oh! > Raye coughed at the smoke and looked at me with a surprise. "Where did you >get a limo from?" Tom: (Adam) Would you believe that we found them along the side of the road? > "Its a long story." A couple of guards came over and opened the doors for >us. We got out and walked on to the sidewalk as the limo drove away. "If >you guys had a limo you should have at least picked us up," Mina said. > "We were surprised by it too. Well I think we should go found out what >happened to the other group now," I said. All: Why? Mike: If Serena dies, Rini never exists. Crow: One eye-sore down, one to go! > "What are we doing downtown any way?" A-Ko asked. > "We have to look for some of our friends that we lost. There locators >told us they were down town." I said. > "Who are those people?" Raye asked. Michelle: They're underpaid actors in this egg of a crossover! > "There here to help us," Ranma said. "This is A-Ko, B-Ko, and C-Ko." > "Hello," the Ko's said. > "Well actually we brought some more people as well, "Kasumi said. > "Yea, like who?" Ranma asked Tom: (Kasumi) I invited a nice three-letter-named, gun-toting man, a happy hermaphrodite, and a guy with a tuxedo who kept claiming that he was the husband to three of the Sailor Scouts! > "Ranma, Shampoo so happy to see you again." Shampoo said as she came >running out of the door of one of the stores next to the depot. > "Shampoo Where are you going? Your one and only love is waiting for you >over here," Moose said as he walked into a telephone pole running after >Shampoo. Tom: Bullwinkle, NO!! Mike: Mousse was able to identify Shampoo in a crowd? Michelle: The wonders of radio carototemy! > "hey, what's the big hurry?" Ukyo asked looking at Shampoo running down the >street and Moose lieing on the ground. > "Oh, my darling shampoo. She want to play with grandpa," Happosia said >running after shampoo. Crow: He *really* likes his Herabl Essences, doesn't he? > "Master come back here," Soun said following Happosia. > "Please don't embarrass us in public again," Genma said following Soun. Michelle: I don't know, Genma, I think that Adam's doing a good enough job of that right now! > "Son-in-law stop playing with my daughter in law and marry her all ready," >Cologne said. "No, no, no. That way you idiot." > "Ouch! Sorry granny," Ryoga said as Cologne hit him with her stick because >he was going to walking to traffic. Again. Tom: *SCREEE-CH!!!* *THUMP!* > "Ranma Saotome you coward!" Kuno said coming out of the store with his >broken in his hand. "You can not hide from the wrath of Tatiwaki Kuno any >more. Free the pigtailed girl or I will..." Mike: (Kuno) ...get my butt kickd by you again! > Cologne hit Kuno square on the head and knocked him down to the ground next >to Moose. > "My impetuous brother will he ever learn. Ranma darling," Kodatchi said >and ran over to Ranma. Crow: Awww... This is a Kodachi moment! *click!* > "I think they both need help," Sasukai said holding all the stupid little >items that Kodatchi bought in the store. Michelle: Is that one of the original characters? Tom: Cannon fodder? Mike: You bet! > Ranma started backing away slowly. It was too late though. Shampoo jumped >on Ranma. Ukyo was tried to pull her off of Ranma. Kodachi cam up and >grabbed onto the side shampoo was not on. Happy jumped on all three of them >and knocked them onto the ground. Crow: (Happosai) Are you Cologne? No! Then don't call me that! >Genma and Soun quickly ripped the master >off of the girls before there were any harassment cases. Ryoga came over >with Cologne on his head, carrying Moose and Kuno. > "We were in the Cat cafe when they showed up. they heard us talking about >you and they decided to help out. Michelle: Strange. I figured that they'd want to get clear of the shrapnel! >They took the bus before us," Raye said. > A-Ko stood there in amazement. "What...interesting friends you have Adam." > > "You should see the videos," I said. > Eventually everyone came back to there senses. Even Ranma who was lieing >on the ground with his legs in a diamond, and his two outward fingers and >thumb extended. Tom: How many times must I say it? Sight gags really don't work! > "Well now that that's over with. We should really go and try to mind the >other group," I said. "Lita, What does your communicator say?" Mike: (Lita) It says, "Beep, beep." > "well for some strange reason Serrina's is not showing up anymore. Amy's >is still in the same place. We need to go east for a little wile. Were >pretty close." Crow: (Adam) Well, why didn't you tell us at that time?! > "We should get going then," Raye said. > "Yea! I love pretending to be a spy," C-Ko said. Michelle: (Nayasha) Why pretend? We still have to get Mousse! Oops! Moose. > "Me too, its so much fun," Reni said. They started chasing each other >through the crowd of people pretending to shot at each other. Tom: They're so cute! Crow: Kill them... > "C-Ko stop playing with her. Your my friend now," B-Ko said and started >chasing after the two. > "Well she can be a handful at times but I love C-Ko" A-Ko said. Tom: No! A-ko: TCY flashbacks flooding mind! > We started walking down the street towards the signal we were getting from >Amy's communicator. There were 21 of us now. Michelle: A cast rivalling that of Tolkien! >An amazingly huge group. >There were only a few people missing from all the anime groups that I was >traveling with. Tom: He'll work them in somehow. >I was still surprised by the number of people who wanted to >help me. This truly was paradise. Nothing bad could happen, or so I >thought. > > Continue Crow: Do we have to? Mike: Yes, after a break. (All get up to exit) Reverse door sequence Outside, the red light is flashing. Mike presses the button and opens the channel between the Satellite and the lab. "Hey, Mads!" Michelle says. "Just wondering, but why did you guys send us such a long fic?" "We're running low on fics for now, and we thought that this one would be a last ditch effort," Forrester says. "We'll just spend this extra time searching for new fics! Then, you will feel real pain!" The two mad scientists break out into obscenely mad laughter for a while. After about two minutes of this, Forrester stops laughing. "That's not why we called, however-" Forrester hits Frank to make him stop laughing. "Anyway, that's not why we called. We were just wondering who won the election between henchmen." "Sorry," Mike says, "But we haven't recieved the information fron all of the voting stations yet. We'll tell you as soon as we can get the information for ourselves." "Oh, well, it was worth trying," Forrester said. "Now, aren't you boys due back in the theatre yet?" The sound of sirens and screaming from the other end signalled that he was right. Door 6: It's a curtain of peace beads. You push them out of the way and get a whiff of marijuana smoke as you pass through. Door 5: It opens from the center, spiralling outward. Door 4: It's a castle moat. The gate falls and misses your feet by inches. Door 3: It's a wall of bone. You break it down, only to have it rebuilt by an invisible force. You decide to go around it instead. Door 2: It's in the shape of a heart. You board a small ship and ride it through the door. Door 1: It's a vault door. The center ring swirls and the door opens easily. Everyone sits down again. Michelle is crying softly to herself. >Chapter 4 (continued) > > When we got to the end of the street Raye told us that the readings were >coming from inside this old worn down building. We walked over the crushed >fence and the 'do not enter sign'. We walked in through a former service >entrance, at least it looked like it once was used for that. Inside was >worn down and beat up. Old rusty pillars stood holding it up by the rust >themselves. Tom: We get it! The place is run-down! Get on with it! > "Hello, is any one there," A-Ko yelled. You could hear the echo all >through the building. > "Amy, Serrina, Darrien, Akane. Where are you?" Lita yelled. Mike: (Amy) We're dead! > No answer. A minute later we heard some one walking. We couldn't tell >from where since it echoed. A door opened from the wall. Michelle: (Lurch) You rang? >It was rusty and >squeaked when it opened. I women walked out. Tom: Adam's a woman? Michelle: I always knew it. >She was warring an old grey >robe. It was tattered and worn. it hung on her like a rag. Crow: I bet that she'd win a wet T-shirt contest! >She slowly >walked towards us. She looked old and hunched over. You could hardly see >her face. She cover it with a hood, and her hands were together holding the >robe. > "Hello? Can I help you people," She asked. Mike: (Lady) Have you been helped? > "Ah, yea. Have you seen some people come through here some time today? >Three girls and one guy," Raye said. Michelle: (Lady) Well, you've got three girlsand one guy there with you already! Why do you need another? Greedy, eh? > The women was quite for a little bit. "No one here today. I'm the only >one that's been here today. No one at all, and I've been here all day," Tom: Well, I think that covers all the bases! >She >said with a cackle and a laugh. > Lita walked over to Ranma who was just behind A-Ko, Nabiki, and I. "I'm >getting a strange energy reading from this women," Lita said. Mike: (Lita) Spidey Senses come in handy from time to time. > "What do you mean?" Ranma asked. > "I mean that I don't think she's not what she seems to be." > "What's your plan?" Crow: (Lita) What's all this about a plan? > "You grab her and I'll tie her to the pole behind her with that old rope on >the ground." > "OK, lets do it." > Of course none of us had any idea of what Ranma and Lita were planing to >do. Mike: Then, what was the point of that little aside? >They both walked up to the old women, got right in her face. "If you >claim that no was here today who's that," Ranma asked pointing across the >room. We all looked, there was no one there. Michelle: (Ranma) Nya-nya! Made you look! Monkeys always look! >A soon as the women turned >her head Ranma grabbed her and pushed her against the pole. Lita quickly >picked up the rope and tied her to it. We all looked at the utterly >stunned. "What are you doing boy?!" Genma yelled. > "She's not really an old women. She's giving off some sort of energy to >take this form," Lita said. Tom: (lady) No, really! That's my pacemaker! > "Yea, its some sort of transformation or illusion," Ranma said. > "You don't know how right you two are," the woman said, but in a different >voice. this one was younger and more evil. Crow: Oh, my God! It's Bob Dole! Mike: That is one *old* lady! >She broke the rope that was >holding her. She knocked down Ranma and Lita wile doing so. She did a >somersault flip backwards. Michelle: Why's they capture Cologne, anyway? > Funnel of light started forming around her. You could see her change shape >inside of it. The funnel cover her completely then vanished as quick as it >arrived. The woman standing in front of us was about 5'8", athletically >thin build, and purple hair. She had an evil smile with black lips and a >huge chest. Michelle: He seems to enjoy classifying people by the size of their chests. Tom: Why not? It's anime's trademark! Crow: You know, if he ever visited here, he'd never notice Michelle... Michelle: (grabs Crow by the neck) You ever say anything like that ever again, I'll rip your head off, deep fry it and feed it to that big, nasty thing that I keep in the cellar! >She was warring a semi-tight pair of blue leggings and a purple >top that matched her hair. She had light pieces of shinny metallic blue >armor on her legs, arms, stomach, and shoulders. This was nothing like the >old woman she was before. Crow: Do I see a pontless Happosai gag on the way? "Hatcha mama," Happy said as he jumped over all of us towards the woman. "Pretty lady! Pretty lady!!" Crow: You bet! > She gave him an evil glance picked up her arms and started to swing them >towards the old man. "Raging hammer!" Mike: ..and it's only available at Ace Hardware! >She yelled as her hands changed with >the same light in to this huge hammer with blue flames coming from it. > It hit Happosai hard. the blunt of the hammer cover all of him. he went >sailing into and through one of the old columns. He landed on the ground on >the other side of the building. He was knocked unconscious. You could see >the him laying lifeless on the ground. Crow: Well, which is he, dead or unconsious? > The hammer quickly morphed back into her hands, and she stood there in an >attack position. > "You are now all going to die for your insolence. The army of the 7th must >live on," She said. Mike: And exactly what were they doing to threaten it? Michelle: Well, for starters, they wrote this fic... > "Listen lady I don't know who you are, but I do know one thing. There aint >no way your going to stop us all. Especially me," Ranma said. This was >followed from a loud cheer from the rest of us. > "Well lets even the odds a little." She whistled and a metal slab moved >and five men jumped to her side. All: LLLLLET'S GET READY TO RUMMMBLLLE! > "Let me introduce me friends here," She said with a smile. "My Lord Jindi, >General Goth, General Aboshi , and General Tarpen of the army of the 7th. >And I am Mistress Tamasuza." they all got into a fighting stance. "prepare >to meet your doom!" Michelle: (Johnny Gomez) Tonight's Celebrity Deathmatch features all these guys against Adam! > As she said that about 100 foot soldiers came running out from all over the >building screaming a war cry. They were all in uniform, dark green with >black trim. They had helmets that covered there head Tom: Really? Helmets? On their heads? Call the presses! >They were dark green >with a black tinted shade covering their eyes and nose. Crow: (Goth) We picked these guys up off the set of Star Wars on the way over. >All you could see >were there moths screaming as they ran. Mike: (Moth) Run! It is Godzilla! >They had the same insignia on their >shoulders. It was a black circle with a big gold seven in the middle of >it. there was an earth like planet below it, and three moons vertically >across it. the base of the seven was striking the planet making an >explosion. > The one thing that got my attention the most was that they were all armed >with rifle. I noticed this because the started shooting at me. Michelle: (Adam) Hmmm... therer are bullets flying past my head... Mike: (Lita) Adam, they're shooting at us! Michelle: (Adam) Nah, that couldn't be it... >A barash of >blue beams came firing out of every wear. We scattered all over the >building. Kasumi grabbed Reni and C-Ko and quickly ran out of the >building. Nabiki followed shortly. Everyone else picked a fight. It was >an onslaught of chaos and carnage. Tom: ...all of which ws directed at Adam! Crow: We wish... Mike: Be nice, guys... > The soldiers were not really that tough. It was just that there were so >many of them. Ranma was taking out a group using his hidu-shu-en-hup >tecnech. Tom: Can you say, "Major Fanboy"? Great! I knew you could! >One of the soldiers landed near me. At this point I was just >trying to not get hit. his gun landed in front of me. I went to pick it up >when another soldier jumped me. I grabbed him and flipped him into the wall >behind me. I thought for a moment. Crow: ...and it hurt! >"How did I do that. I've never been >able to flip a person and through them twenty feet, practically in mid-air. >It must be another one of the advantages to this world. I can fight like an >anime character as well." Michelle: We finally find out his special power! Mike: Thrill as he bravely conforms to the world around him! > I grabbed the gun and started firing at some soldiers. I got three of >them, but one of them got my gun. It blew up in my hand. Mike: You know, if this was a roleplaying game, he should have at least taken 1D damage. Tom: 10D! Crow: 20D! >I fell back and >did a tuck and roll back onto my feet. I flew at the guy with amazing >speed. I planted my fist right into the mask. knocked him down and Kuno >who was fighting a couple of soldiers. All of them fell to the ground. I >jumped back and looked at them lieing there. Kuno crawled out from under >them and said, "Heretic! What you do next you are in my presence." Mike: Sounds like something that the Sherrif of Rottingham would say! Crow: Dyslexics of the world, untie! > "Sorry Kuno," I said. This was cool. > "You are not like the others," A voice said. Michelle: (voice) You're less interesting! > I turned to my right and say Tamasuza stand there besides me. "Your not >from this world are you? I bet your one of the mistakes we made in our >travels here." Crow: That's the same thing that his parents said... Mike: Hey, Crow... > Mistakes? I figured out that they had to do with how I got here. "If I >am, send me back then." I said with anger, showing no fear towards her. > "Oh I will send you somewhere boy. But it won't be home." Tom: It'll be to Baskin Robins! Rest: Huh? >She jumped >towards me. "Guillotine flash!" she swung her leg at me. It started to >change in shape. It turned in to a pair of huge blue guillotines. I jumped >over her to avoid them. Michelle: It instead hit the trampoline that had aided him. >She ripped through the wall behind me as if it were >butter. > "Ha! Your forgetting that in this world I can fight and dodge your >attacks." I went charging at her, my fist raised over my head. I soon >learned that was not a good idea. I found out quickly that solders were a >lot easier than characters with real skills. Tom: Oh, my god! He slept with the soldiers! All: Help! WE'RE GOING DOWN!!! (Tom's head explodes, but he's still functional) >She turned around, the blades >were gone. She started running at me. I swung at her, it was a very fast >punch, even for anime. Mike: Wait, I think that it was a typo! Michelle: Thank goodness! >She stepped to the side and kicked me in the back. >I flew in to the wall. I dropped to the ground. That hit I felt. I got up >and went at her again. This was my second mistake. Crow: The first being writing this fic! > She stood there waiting for me. I ran right at her and did a jump kick at >her face. She moved again, grabbed my foot and slammed me to the ground. I >laid there for a second and then she picked me up by my head. Tom: ...which she promptly CUT OFF!!! >"You see boy >it doesn't matter what world your on. I will always win." > She pulled her fist back and light started forming and changing around it. >"Anvil crush!" Her hand turned into a purple flaming anvil. It hit me >square in the chest. I went flying across the building. It had to be at >least 100 feet. Mike: Okay, not even an anime character could survive that. Crow: Oh, come on, Mike! Tom and I have done worse to each other in some of our worse fights! Mike: And you're robots, so I can repair you! Crow: Give you any ideas about Adam? >I slammed through the wall on the other side and landed in >another room. That hurt a lot. I blacked out. > I came to, what was my guess, 5-10 minutes later. Michelle: How can you time something when you're out cold? Tom: Three letters: OBE. >My rib's were killing. >Nothing was broken though. If this has been any other world I would have >been killed. I got up. The pain was bad but not excruciating. Tom: Makes it all the more convenient to open up a big can of Whoop Ass on everyone! >I could >still move with out to much trouble. I walk to the whole I made in the >wall. I saw every one still fighting. There were less soldiers, about >25-30 left. The leaders seemed to be the hardest. I just found that out a >second ago. Ranma and Ryoga were double teaming Jindi. They could hardly >touch him. Ryoga would shatter the ground with his bakusai-tenkets, and >Ranma would use his arma-guri-ken technic Michelle: Look, just say that they're punching everyone's lights out! it's a lot easier on everyone else! >to try to hit him in the >confusion. Jindi was using some sort of energy he created to fire back the >shrapnel from the ground. Then he would block Ranmas attack. it didn't >look good. Michelle: There seems to be an extra "T" in there somewhere, according to the rest of the fic and everyone else in it. > I noticed the stair case in the floor where they all came out of. No one >seemed to have noticed that I was even there. I ran quickly down the >stairs. I got down to the bottom and could still hear them all fighting up >stairs. Tom: Quick, Mike! Get Pen-pen and join the fight! (snicker) Mike: Are you crazy? I'd get killed! Crow: What are you talking about? You'd be the first one against the wall! >the room at the bottom of the stairs had a lot of electronic >equipment and other stuff. I walk farther in and saw a corridor. Just to >be same I picked up one of the rifles hanging on the wall. Crow: Uh, oh! He found Nav's secret stash! >you never knew >who was in here. I walked down the corridor. It was poorly lighted and >quite. The fight was only a muffled noise. > I heard some movement coming from one of the cells that were all along the >corridor. I was about 5 feet away from it when I heard a voice say," You >can torture us all you want. We won't give up. You will never take us. >You will have to kill us first." All: We... are the Borg... > I walked up to the front of the cage and said, "lets hope it doesn't have >to go that far Serrina." Crow: Exactly how far is "that far"? > They all looked at me in joy and surprise. "Adam, how did you get here? >Where are the others?" Amy asked. Tom: (Adam) You see this gun? I know how to use it. > "Its a long story. There up stairs fighting a bunch of people. We're not >doing so good up there either." I reached to put my hand on the bars. Zap! Mike: The Orkin Man! > "there's a force field around the cell.," Darrien said. "That little box >on the floor behind you is controlling it." > I turned around and looked at it. Crow: The strange thing is, it looked back at him. >there was one really big button on the >top. Michelle: (Adam) Oh, my God! It's so complicated! I'll have some tropuble with this one. Ah, just blow it away. >I pushed it a dense flash of light flickered around the cell. Darrien >swung his hand between the bars. "All right. Lets get out of here," I >said. > We quickly broke the lock and started running down the corridor. Tom: They just make it seem so easy... >"I hope >your prepared to fight. We need all the help we can get." > We all ran up the stairs together. We all stood there for a second and >looked around at the battle. It wasn't good. Lita was now Sailor Jupiter >and trying to use her lightning attack on General Aboshi. Crow: Oooh, special effects! >He was tall, >medium build with a very pale and sickly complexion. He had all kinds of >strange looking shapes tattooed all over his body. Mike: Hey, he's Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers! >He had on ripped grey >pants, no shirt, and big metallic boots. He had on iron armor, dull, on his >arms, legs, and shoulders. He had an ugly smile with short white hair. > Jupiter was in really trouble. Michelle: ...and this really fic bites! >Aboshi ate the lightning she hit him with. >His skin and hair changed all sorts of colors. then he put his hands >together and fired a fire ball of lightning right at her. Crow: Look, if it's made of lightning, then it's not a fire ball! It's ball lightning! Tom: Thank you, Magic: The Gathering. >It knocked her to >the ground. He started to walk towards her to finish her off. > "I'm going to stand around and watch this," Serrina said. All: Oh, you're a real help! Tom: Yep, stand around and be a load! That's her job! >She started to >ran towards her. "Moon Crystal power!" She transformed as she ran. It >looked like a speeding beam of light running over anything that gets in its >way. she finished transforming just in time jump kick the general in the >back of the head. Crow: Apparently, she's going to stand around and watch from on top of that guy's head. > he went flying over lita and landed on Goth, who was fighting Sailor Venus >and Shampoo. "Are you OK Lita?" Sailor Moon asked. Mike: (Lita) Sure, just go ahead and give away our *secret* indentities! > "Serrina, your all right," Jupiter said happily. "Yes, yes I'm fine. We >just are having a little trouble with these guys. > Goth got up and push Aboshi of him. "Who let them escape!" Michelle: (Goth) Whoever did will die like a dog! > Almost everyone looked over to see us running towards the fight. Darrien >was now tuxedo Mask, Amy was Sailor Mercury, Akane was running with fist >full of anger, and I ran firing the rifle like crazy. Even the cats were >charging in with us. Crow: ...and getting their little heads smashed into the ground! > "You," Tamasuza said looking at me. "I thought I killed you." > "You'll find out I'm full of surprises," I said as I shot up the ground in >front of her. She jumped back. Tom: Uuumm... Why not just shoot her up? Michelle: It would be too easy. Mike: It would make some remote bit of sense! > "Mistress, let me handle them," Tarpen said. > He came running straight at Darrien and Mercury. Tarpen was big overall. >Bigger than Goth. Didn't look as smart though. He looked more like Bane >from the Batman comics. Mike: ...and another crossover occurs! >He was warring the same sort of uniform that the >soldiers were warring, minus the helmet. The uniform looked more >prestigious that the other soldiers. He had no armor on except some small >ones on his hands. This was odd since everyone else was covered in it. he >had black hair medium length and a huge face, mad as hell. Michelle: A hot temper, huh? Mike: A short fuse, eh? Crow: A couple of nuts short of a fruit cake, of course... >You could feel >the floor move as he ran. He jumped at Darrien and started to swing his >arms. > Tuxedo Mask threw a stream of roses at him. Mike: Cliche attacks from cliche characters. This... is Adam. >"Blades!" tarpen yelled as >these huge crescent blades came flying out of his arms. they cut the rose >into shreds. Tuxedo Mask jumped up over them as the sliced the pillar >behind them. > "Hands!" He said as his hands shot out of his arms on big chain links. Tom: Gives new meaning to the term, "the old ball and chain"! >They hit Tuxedo mask and pushed him into the wall. Luna and Artimace jumped >on his face and started biting and scratching. Michelle: ...followed quickly by the army of other cats that have been named in this fic! >Tarpen retracted his arms >and through the cats off his face. > Just as the cats were off him Sailor Mars kicked him in the back. She spun >around him and jumped on his face. "Mars fire attack!" A big flame covered >his face. when the smoke cleared he smiled with a charged face. Mike: So, he's a battery? THROW US A FRICKIN' BONE HERE!!! >He grabbed >her and threw her to the ground. This was no creature, it was some sort of >robot. All: (siren noises) Plot point! Plot point! Plot point! > "We'll you are amusing, but we have to take over this little world," Jindi >said with that egotistical voice of his. Crow: ...which we have obviously heard before! >"Now we end this! Third moon >furry!" Tom: Oh, no! He's going to play on their allergies to cat hair! >He jumped up into the air and started forming black and white >lighting around him. Tamasuza and the generals quickly moved away from >fight. This huge beam of black light with white lightning came firing upon >us. I was on the edge so I only got knocked the ground. Crow: No, you idiot! A little bit more to the left! >Mostly everyone >under the blast ran from the center. B-Ko, Shampoo, and Sailor Jupiter got >hit bad. But Ranma got hit the worst. He tried to use his hiryuu shouten >ha to counter the blast. It crumbled under the beam. Ranma took the full >blast. Michelle: ...and Adam stands by and watches along with Sailor Moon! > Jindi jumped away next to Tamasuza. "Now its time to get rid if you >useless trash." He walked over to the big power converter on the wall and >started pushing some buttons. I looked up and saw lita (no longer Sailor >Jupiter) Lieing on the ground in front of me. I crawled over to her too see >if she was all right. Her cloths was ripped and she was bleeding. Mike: ...and Adam just couldn't stop staring at her breasts! > "Lita are you OK?" > "Yea," She said, hardly able to talk. "I'm...OK." > "Don't move, Your badly hurt." Crow: (Lita) Actually, I think that I'm getting better! Tom: (Adam) No, dear Lita, you shan't have died in vain! Crow: (Lita) No, I really think that I can join you! Tom: (Adam) No, you must stay here and rest! I shall return in my own... Crow: (Lita) Idiom, Adam? Tom: (Adam) Idiom, yes! Michelle: More like idiot... > The ground started to move and shake. I looked up to see a huge metallic >tube coming up from the ground behind Moose. Mike: Watch out, Bullwinkle! Tom: (Boris) Next, we get sqvirrel! >He was already trying to >bandage shampoo. > Three more of them came up around us. I looked I the center of them. The >ground had caved in a lot from the blast. Akane was there holding Ranma in >her arms. Tears were running down her checks. 'Ranma! Wake up Ranma! >Don't die on me." Ranma hung on her lifeless. He wasn't moving. he had >cuts and bruises all over him. He was bleeding pretty bad. Michelle: Look, Generals, just stop playing with your food! > "I found these ones out side of the building hiding in the bushes," Goth >said. He was carrying C-Ko and Reni. Tarpen had Kasumi and Nabiki in his >hands. All: (chanting) Goth! Goth! Goth! > "Through them over there. We'll send them to hell together," Jindi said. > They through them on the ground next to one of the cylinders. C-Ko ran >over to B-Ko right away. Her power suite was almost totally destroyed. Mike: They'll be getting a bill from Ramada Inn any day now! >A-Ko covered her with a shirt and a pair of pants from one of the soldiers >on the ground. So that see would not be exposing herself. She was bleeding >too. Crow: Suddenly, Adam rushes over and uses his *amazing healing powers* on everyone! > The cylinders hummed with power. Beams came out of the top of them and >connected them all in a square above us. "Well Like I said its been fun, >but now you must go," Jindi said. he pushed some more buttons on the power >converter. The beams got stronger and started moving down the cylinders >towards the ground. A huge portal formed between the beams. Right over our >heads. Mike: I'd just like to remind everyone about the ban on Sliders jokes... > "One world to the next. You must be having a busy day," Tamasuza said to me >with an evil laugh. > "This isn't the end," I said. Michelle: As much as we wish it was... > "You don't know how wrong you really are." > The portal came down and grabbed all of us. The next thing I knew I was in >the portal traveling all over the place. I blacked out again. > When I came too I was lieing in a field. All: Don't get a mental picture! Don't get a mental picture! Don't get a mental picture! >Old burnt out grass and rocky. >It was night and there was a musty breeze coming in across it. Where were >we? I sat up and Looked around. Lita was lieing next to me on the ground. >She was unconscious. Every one was out cold still. They were all injured >in one way or another. I wasn't sure even if Ranma was still alive. Tom: I can't believe that Ranma left us in order to do this! >Some >of them started to wake up. Akane was out cold but she still had Ranma in >her arms. She never did let go. I lied back down on the ground. I could >still feel the pain in my rib's. I looked back at the stars in the sky and >thought, "What do we do now?" Crow: Who are you talking to? The stars? Michelle: The hell should we know? You're writing the fic! > Chapter 5-Worlds Apart All: (singing) Somewhere over the rainbow... Mike: Come on, let's get out of here. I feel ill. (all stand up to leave) (reverse door sequence) Outside, the hexfield light is going off. Mike presses the button to turn the viewing screen on. When the picture clears up, it's Ranma, speaking from somewhere on Earth. "Hi, Ranma!" Everyone exclaims. "Why do you call?" Mike asks. "I'm just checking to see how you guys are doing," Ranma explains. "I see that you guys got back safely, Tom and Crow. It just wasn't the same without you two. Now that I'm safely down here, away from Michelle, I can speak freely. You know, you guys are a lot cooler than Michelle." "That's because we've got more personality," Crow says. Before he knows what's happening next, Michelle has grabbed him and is taking him off screen Soon, various sounds of injury can be heard coming from Crow. "Anyway," Mike says, "We're just in the middle of watching 'Lost Worlds'..." "The Stephen Spielburg movie?" Ranma asks. "No, but I don't doubt that Forrester will drag that one out for us later," Mike says. "We're watching that fic with Adam Sheehan as the writer-slash-main character." "Oh, God! I pity you!" Ranma exclaims. "I don't know what I was thinking when I made it! I asked for script approval, but no! Adam refused it, saying that I wasn't valuable enough to give me that. Anyway, I got paid, so that helped. It was fun, anyway, because I got to work with Sailor Moon and A-Ko. I even went out on a date with Venus! Akane'll never forgive me for it, though." "Anything actually interesting happen during the making of the fic?" Tom asks. "Well, we did enjoy playing pranks on Adam every once in a while," Ranma replies thoughtfully. "One time, we caused him to lose a whole portion of the script! It was fun! Anyway, these calls cost money, which I'm running low on now, so I've gotta go!" "Yeah, mabe we'll get you for this show again!" Mike exclaims as the channel closes. "That'd be fun!" Ranma exclaims. When he was gone, Tom says, "You know, there isn't much of a fourth wall around here." "There is when I want," says M. H. from in front of his computer. "Yeah, well, let's go see if we can help Michelle any," Mike says, Tom following him off-screen. End of part four Part five coming soon! Two more parts to go! Reply Reply All Forward Delete Previous Next Close ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Air Tickets | Buy Music | Downloads | Entertainment | Free Games | Yellow Pages search the web: [Amazon.com at MSN Shopping!] ---------------------------------------------------------------- © 1999 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. Terms of service [Contact Us | Help]