M. Voice: And now, some music for your listening pleasure. ("Tequila" starts to play. Right after the trumpet interlude..) Crow: (popping head up from behind desk) Tequila! (Crow's head retreats as the music plays on and we fade to eyecatch.) Crow: Okay, okay.. how's this.. 37! (All break up laughing anew.) Tom: (laughter subsiding) No, no, no.. 18!! (Once again, they break up laughing.) Joel: Wait a second, guys.. I think we're in the wrong joke. Crow: What? Joel: Well, shouldn't we be doing the denouement to the previous sketch here, creating a comedically appropriate context for the Mads to call while still providing a clean segue between jokes? (Brief pause. The Mads light starts to flash.) Tom: Joel, are you feeling all right? Joel: It'll have to wait. Heckle and Jekyll are calling. Dr.F: Hello, Ronnie and the Ronettes! It's always good to see you in a state of discord! Now, I suppose you're wondering why I called you here today.. Crow: Not really. Tom: Yeah, we just kind of figured you were going to do the Invention Exchange and then make us watch a lame fanfic. Dr.F: Well.. yeah. But this week it's different! For this week.. I have invented a device that will prevent you from using your Senshi powers ever again! I call it the Really Evil Tachyon Cluster Output Node, or RETCON for short. It'll change history so _you_ fools never developed self-inclusion powers in the first place! Pull the lever, Frank! Frank: Right away, your Evilness! (Frank pulls the lever. There's a big flash of light, and then the lever is gone.) Dr.F: Uh.. Frank? Where'd the RETCON go? Frank: What's a RETCON? Dr.F: Ah.. right. Your experiment this week is a continuation of "Dark Kingdom in Montreal", the prologue to which I believe you watched last week. Have fun, kiddos! All: AAH! We've got fanfic sign!! Tom: Refresh my memory.. "Ten'ou David", right? Joel: Yup. Crow: The Shingo of the outer senshi? Joel: Yup. Tom: Oh, _lovely_. > ------------------------- > |Dark Kingdom in Montrea| > ------------------------- Tom: "Montrea"?.. Guys, this is gonna hurt. > Chapter 1 > >Hi everyone!! Crow: I'll bet you are. > This is my first attempt at a fanfic, so I would >like lots of criticism on how it is and stuff. Joel: No worries there, at any rate. > Recently, I read >a fanfic called Sailor Scouts visit Canada, and I was very >disappointed. So I decided to take it upon myself to do it the >right way. Tom: If this is the right way, I'd hate to see it done wrong! > Hope you enjoy this!! > >Sailor Moon is copyright of Naoko Takeuchi/Kodansha, Toei Animation. >English Language Adaptation is copyright 1995 DiC Entertainment. >This story belongs to me, David Lapkovsky (katarn@openface.ca) Crow: Say, aren't Lapkovsky particles the plot device that powers Gundam tech? > >------------------------------------------------- >|Setting: West Island Residential Area, Montreal| >------------------------------------------------- Joel: All those who don't think the author lives there, raise your hands. (No response.) > >David was walking home from his hockey game, well, actually, it >was the party after his hockey game, and he was rushing home since >it was so late. Tom: (Author) Well, actually, it was only 6 p.m., but he had to stop at the store for butter first. Well, actually, it wasn't butter, it was eggs. Well, actually.. Joel: Enough. > He was halfway home when he heard a loud scream. Crow: Holy cow! Doritos really are the loudest taste on earth! >He dropped his bag and rushed around the corner holding his hockey >stick tight Tom: (David) Oh, my darling hockey stick.. I'll never let you go! > and saw a monster type creature trying to smash his >way into a house. Joel: Run! It's a carnivorous IBM Selectric! > David freezes in his tracks, unable to believe >what he's seeing, as he watches, the creature grabs a man that >had been trying to fight it off with a butcher knife, but with no >luck. Tom: Yeah, I find it pretty hard to believe that it can't grab a guy with a butcher knife, too. Joel: Well, he was also equipped with deadly ninja throwing commas. > As the monster is holding the man, an orange aura begins to >glow around the man Joel: No wonder the monster couldn't grab him! He's a Super Saiyan! > and slowly flows into the creature. When the >glow has finished flowing, Crow: Just glow with the flow, man. > he discards the man like garbage, getting >ready to go into the house and attack the rest of the family. David >has seen enough. Joel: (David) I hate this fic! What was I thinking? > >"Hold it!!" David yells, not quite sure what he's doing. Crow: Um.. as nearly as I can tell, he's yelling "Hold it". What's so tough about that? > The youma >turns around, and David see's it clear for the first time, Joel: It was a giant renegade apostrophe! > its at >least 7 feet tall and 4 feet in width, Crow: (youma) I'm not fat! I'm just big-boned! > its covered in brown scales >from head to toe, and it had spikes protruding from its elbows and >shoulders. David can't help but take a step back in fear. Joel: (David) I wet 'em! > >"Foolish human, you dare defy me?!?" the youma yells at him in a >deep raspy voice. Tom: (youma) Damn. I gotta lay off the cigarettes. > >David takes a step forward, "Leave them alone!! I won't let you hurt >anyone else!" > >The youma sizes him up, Tom: (mimsy) Now hold still while I take your measurements.. > "Then you will die, weakling" The youma >charges him, but David sidesteps and smashes it in the head with >his hockey stick. It doesn't even slow it. Joel: (dubbed) I am impervious to your flimsy onslaught! > >"Oh shit!!" David screams as the youma turns around grinning. David >runs as fast as he possibly can. Crow: (David) Run away! Run away!! > "Damn! Umino wasn't kidding about >these things.." David mutters to himself as he runs into a nearby park. Joel: (David) *thump* Ow! Who left that lying around? >He finds himself stuck against a fence, facing a gloating youma. Crow: In retrospect, he realized that he shouldn't have fled to the glue factory. > >"Now you die human!" the youma pulls its arm back and unsheathes it's >claws. Tom: (monster) Nougat? I specifically ordered these things iron-hard, thank you! > David's life is flashing before his eye's and his surprised >when an out of place multi-colored flash of light appears behind >the youma. Tom: Oh no! The youma got him in the eyes with an apostrophe! Joel: Yeah, but at least it missed his surprised. > >"Stop right there!!!" a familiar voice rings in the air, "I am the >pretty sailor suited senshi Sailor Moon!!" Crow: Just try saying _that_ five times fast! > the youma swings around >in shock, "You have attacked an undefended city thinking that you >could avoid us, and on behalf of the moon, I will punish you!!" Sailor >Moon recites doing the familiar arm movements. Joel: (shocked) Usagi! Where did you learn _that_?! > >"So.." the deep voice booms, "the senshi have finally arrived, it's >a shame your too late, we have been collecting energy for over a >month, thanks to your incompetence, however, I have been awaiting >battle with you to avenge my fallen brothers!" Tom: (youma) I will avenge thee, Tibby! > with that final word, >the youma's claws shoot out at the senshi, but they are faster. The >senshi scatter and get into defensive positions. Crow: Duck and cover! > >"Shabon Spray!!" Mercury yells. A thick cloud comes down over the >park and the youma is paralyzed. > >Uranus and Neptune look at each other and nod. Tom & Joel: (simultaneously) *thunk* OW! > "Deep Submerging!!" >Neptune yells as her attack flies at the youma, at the same time, >Uranus yells, "World Shaking!!" both the attacks hit the youma >at the same time finishing it off. Crow: Yeah, but was it at the same time? > >David watched the whole fight in awe. All: Awww... > "The Sailor Senshi.." He >walks up to them, "Thank you for helping me, I owe you my life," Tom: (Usagi) Don't worry. A nickel or so should about cover it. >David says as he walks up to Sailor Moon. > >"What'd he say?" Sailor Jupiter asks. > >"He's speaking english.. I'm afraid I'm not totally fluent in that >language yet," Sailor Mercury confesses. All: (gasp) Tom: There's something Ami doesn't know? The world is ending! > >Sailor Venus looks at them with an amused look on her face, Joel: (Venus) Peons. > "He said >thank you for saving him," she informed the rest of the senshi with >a smile. > >"You know english?!?" the senshi all say at once. Crow: Of course! Minako can do anything and everything under the sun! Tom: Except cooking. Crow: Well, yeah. Joel: Or cleaning. Crow: Okay.. Tom: Or performing first aid. Joel: Or using a knife. Crow: Well.. _almost_ everything. > >"Hey.. don't be so surprised, I only lived in England for five years >as Sailor V!" she replied with a pout. > >"I believe we have a solution for this problem," Luna says as she and >Artemis come out of hiding. "We would have taken care of this back in >Japan if we hadn't been so rushed to get here.." Tom: (Luna) We had to hurry or we would've missed the plot point! > >David looks at the cats in shock, "Uhm.. those cats are talking.." Joel: (David) The cats.. the cats are talking to me! > >Sailor Venus looks at him with an amused look on her face, "You get >used to it.." she replies in english. > >Luna and Artemis start doing backflips Crow: (Luna) Whee! Joel: They should really lay off the catnip. > and pretty soon, there is a >pile of bracelets on the ground with the symbol of a crescent moon >on each of them. Tom: I really don't think the power-up backflip was intended to be like this.. > "While you wear these, people will understand you >and you will understand them, Joel: (Teenager, whiny) Nobody understands me! > they helped you a lot when you were >on missions to parts of planets where they didn't speak our language." Joel: What? You mean there are languages in the Sailor Moon universe other than Japanese? Crow: Of course! You can't forget Dr. Thinker's "Nega-versan" language.. Tom: Not to mention "Sailor Moon Hentai"'s high-school Spanish. Joel: Yeah, yeah.. now cut out the plugs. > >The senshi all put the bracelets on except for Venus. Sailor Mercury >speaks up first, "Can you understand us now?" > >David looks up surprised, Tom: (David) Hmm.. Adjective denoting shock or startlement.. well, whaddaya know? > "Yes.. how are you doing that?" > >Sailor Moon speaks next, "Ancient technology and stuff, anyways.. >you wouldn't happen to know a Ten'ou David would you?" Joel: (David) Ten'ou David.. Ten'ou David.. why does that sound so familiar? > >"Yes.. I do.. he's me," a huge sweatdrop appears behind the senshi. Crow: That may be the least intimidating youma ever. >"What do you want with me?" Tom: (Number Two) Information. > >Sailor Uranus steps up, "Remember me, David?" Joel: (David) Weren't you on Letterman once? > >"No.. I don't. Should I?" David replies. > >Sailor Uranus drops her disguise, "How about now?" Haruka asks. Crow: (David) Oh sh-.. I was young! I needed the money! > >"Haruka?? I don't believe it.. your supposed to be in Japan!! How >did you get here? Your a Sailor Senshi?" as he says the last part, >he collapses. Tom: Well, the oxygen loss from all those run-on sentences was bound to catch up to him sooner or later. > >The rest of the senshi de-transform and Ami runs up to David, "he's >fainted." Crow: Really? I thought he'd opted for a brief nap, myself. > >"That's probably for the best.." Michiru states. Joel: (Michiru) The longer he's out, the more screen time for us! Sweet! > >Rei looks at Haruka with disgust, "Why did you drop your disguise >in front of him?? Don't you realize that you've given away all of >our secret identities??" Tom: How do you figure? I mean, Haruka was the only one who changed while he was conscious. Everyone else changed _after_ he passed out. And at any rate, the others could've chosen to.. oh, I don't know.. stay in their senshi forms, maybe? Joel: Not bad. Looks like you might have to work for that bet, Crow. > >Haruka glares at Rei, "And just where do you think we were going to >be staying while we were here? The Holiday Inn? Crow: Waitasec. You mean she was planning to just appear out of nowhere at her half-brother's house with nine of her friends, one of them male, most of them minors, and almost none of them speaking English, give a flimsy and improbable story about being magical girls, and ask to stay for an unknown period of time, occasionally disappearing for lengthy periods and possibly returning with life- threatening injuries.. and she expected his family to be okay with this? Tom: Basically. Crow: Okay. I just wanted that cleared up. > We're going to have >to trust him whether we like it or not. Rei, don't you ever think >before you talk?" Haruka asks as Rei blushes. Joel: (Rei, monotone) I am in awe before her verbal onslaught. > >Usagi grins at Haruka, "Nice one.." Tom: (Usagi) Two nice ones, actually.. > >"Shut-up, Odanga Atama!!" Rei yells at Usagi. Crow: (Rei) Mine are better anyway! > >"Hey!! Why are you yelling at me?!?" Usagi says as tears start >streaming out of her eye's. Joel: Oh no! She took an apostrophe in her eyes, too! > >"Relax Usagi.. we have more important things to worry about," Mamoru >says as he gives Usagi a hug. Crow: Yup, that's our Mamoru.. jumps on any chance to cop a feel. > >"Oh Mamo-chan, I love you so much!!!" Usagi states as she kiss's >Mamoru and holds him tight. Tom: KISS's "Mamoru"? I haven't heard that one. Joel: Maybe it's an fKISS.. > >"Can.. Can't bre.. breath!!" Mamoru chokes out. > >"Oh.. sorry Mamo-chan," Usagi says with a sweatdrop on her head. Crow: So _that's_ where the giant sweatdrop monster disappeared to! > >Setsuna speaks up, Joel: (Setsuna) BOW DOWN BEFORE ME, SON OF THUNDER!! > "Revive him.. we should get indoors before >any unwanted attention comes this way." > >"Give me a minute.." Ami says to Setsuna. > >Within a minute, David is awake and staring at all the unfamiliar >girls around him, Tom: He recognized Mamoru and the renegade comma instantly, of course. > when he recognizes one, "Uhm.. is your name Usagi?" > >"Yes!! How did you know?!" Usagi asks surprised. Crow: (David) There was this story by a guy named Wong, y'see.. > >"My friend Umino on the internet sent a picture to me of you and >his girlfriend Naru," Crow: Oblique lemon riff.. Joel: Outraged response! Tom: Optional non- to mildly dirty secondary riff. > he replies simply. "This is getting weirder >and weirder, first my sister show's up out of nowhere, Joel: SHOOOW! > and now >people who shouldn't be here are here now, oh.. not to mention >that monster attack.." as he says this, his eye's role back into >his head again. Tom: He should really have gotten that apostrophe out of his eyes by now. > Ami give's him a gentle slap All: PACK! > and he's awake again. >"Oh.. damn.. it wasn't a dream.." > >"Can we stay at your place?" Haruka asks. Tom: (David) Nine beautiful girls want to stay at my place.. maybe this _is_ a dream after all. > >"Uhm.. ya.. why not, you picked a good week to appear out of the >thin air.. mom and dad are on vacation," then his face brightens >up, Crow: (David) It burns! It burns! > "Say.. I don't suppose any of you can cook?" > >As he finish's the thought, a tall brown haired girl walks up, Tom: Cameos by Lara Croft and her pet apostrophe! > "Hi, >I'm Kino Makato, I can cook great, or so I'm told.." > >"Ok Kino.. that's great! I've been living on frozen food for almost >a week!" David replies anxiously. Joel: (goofy voice) Uh-oh.. here come wacky cross-cultural hijinks! > >"Uhm.. that's Makato, or Mako-chan, Kino's my family name.." Makato >tells him. Tom: Never mind that the polite way to address her in Japanese would be Kino-san since he doesn't know her very well yet, and that she should therefore find nothing unusual about this.. Joel: Of course! Wackiness _is_ job one, after all. > >David looks confused, "Then why'd you say it first?" > >Usagi laughs, "That's the way we do it in Japan, I can't believe you >didn't know that!!!" Usagi goes into hysterics and David back's >away slowly. Crow: (Usagi) Sorry.. yesterday's Dilbert was _great!_ > >"Usagi!! Stop embarrassing us, you Odanga Atama!!" Rei says as she >slaps Usagi on the back of her head. All: WA-TAK! > >"Odanga Atama, eh? Ya.. I can see that," Tom: Okay.. so not only did the translator bracelets fail to translate that, but he understood it anyway? Joel: Well, he also referred to them as the "Sailor Senshi" earlier.. maybe he's a fanboy who's picked up a few phrases of Japanese? > David says laughing uneasily. >"Anyways.. we'd better get back to my house, I think I hear a siren.." Crow: Ooh! Is it Aluminum Siren? > >--------------------------- >|Setting: Ten'ou Residence| >--------------------------- Tom: Xanadu! Stately home of Charles Foster Kane! Crow: You're going to do that every week, aren't you? Tom: Pretty much. > >"So that thing was a youma?" Joel: No, it was a killer prairie dog. Of course it was a youma, you twit! > David asks while they're all sitting >in his living room. > >Hotaru answers this one, "Yes.. that was a youma," then to the rest >of the senshi, "Why are we wasting our time here?" Crow: (senshi) We're stuck to his PC field. Deal with it. > >"Hotaru! Don't be rude," Haruka says to the small lady. Tom: AAH! Chibi-usa! Joel: Magic Voice, go to Pink Alert! (Sirens go off and a pink light starts to flash.) Crow: Wait.. I think he means Hotaru. Joel: Oh.. Magic Voice, cancel that alert. (The Pink Alert ends.) > >"Sorry Haruka-Papa" David raises an eyebrow to Haruka. But lets it >go for now. Tom: (Haruka) Um.. that was interesting and all, but can you pick up your eyebrow off the floor? It's a bit disconcerting. > >"I have some rooms made up for you, Mamoru, you get your own room, >Usagi, Ami, Makato, your together, Crow: Pileup Number One! And it's a rare one, too! > Hotaru, Minako, Setsuna, your >together, Crow: Pileup Number Two! And I don't think I've _ever_ seen that one! > and Haruka, Michiru and Rei..." Crow: And Pileup Number Three! Gotta hand it to David; he knows what people want! Joel: Okay, enough now. > >"I'm not sleeping with them!!!!!!" Rei cuts David off with a scream. Joel: I'll kill you with the pressure of my voice! (pause) Tom: Okay, there's such a thing as _too_ obscure. > >"Why not?" David asks innocently. > >"Because I'm not like them!!" Rei says in disgust. Crow: Hey, what do you call someone who develops an allergy to beans? Tom: What? Crow: Disgusted. Tom: Oh, yuck.. Crow: Hey, you wanted to know! > >Michiru looks down and Haruka puts her arm around her, Joel: (Haruka) *crunch* Oops.. don't know my own strength. > "Rei.. would >you like to take this outside?" Haruka asks in a harsh voice, she >was hurting her love's feelings, and she didn't like that. Tom: (Horse) Nossir.. I don't like it. > >"It's not worth fighting over.. I'll just take a different room.." All: (make clucking noises) >Rei responds timidly, she'd hate to admit it, but she didn't think >she could beat Haruka in a fight, a fair one at least. Crow: But when it comes to bike chains and sucker-punches, Rei's a champ! > >"I'll sleep with Mamoru!!!" Usagi pipes up, they all form sweatdrops Joel: (falsetto) Great! Now let's do a pyramid! >and Mamoru is blushing now. > >"Uhm.. that's ok.." David says tactfully, "Would any of you be willing >to switch with Rei?" Tom: (David) Put your hand back down, Mamoru. > >"She can have my spot.." Setsuna speaks slowly, "I have duties elsewhere >that require my attention," Crow: (Setsuna) Sleep is for the weak! Bring me more coffee! > >"All right then.. it's settled" David says hoping to avoid anymore >difficulties. > >As the senshi withdraw to their rooms, Haruka pass's Rei, Tom: (Haruka, muttered) Bitch. Crow: (Rei, muttered) Dyke. > "This isn't >over yet, you bitch," Haruka whispers to her as she pass's by. Tom: Hey, we were pretty close! > Rei >just shoots her a dark look. > >--------------------------------------- >|Setting: Haruka and Michiru's Bedroom| >--------------------------------------- Crow: Bomp-chicka-wow... Bomp-chicka-bomp-wow.. > >"How can she act like that towards us? We never wronged her in anyway.." >Michiru asks Haruka with tears in her eyes, "Why's it so wrong for me >to love you so much?" Tom: (British) Message for you, sir! > >Haruka pulls Michiru into a tight embrace, Joel: (Michiru) *squish* AAGH! Crow: Are we ever gonna get tired of that one? Tom: I doubt it. > "It isn't wrong, Michiru.. >I love you more than I've ever loved anything, I'd give my life for >you 100 times, Tom: (Haruka) I would walk 500 miles! Crow: (Haruka) I would cry for 96 years! Joel: (Haruka) I'd release 99 red balloons! > so believe me when I say this, you and me Tom: You and _I_. > are not the >ones with the problem, it's that bitch Rei!!" Crow: The bitch-ray! Capable of turning Kasumi into Kodachi in under three seconds! > >"Don't talk about her like that.." Michiru says timidly. Joel: (Michiru) That's, what, the third time you've called her a bitch? Show some originality! > >"How can you be nice to her after the way she treated us!! She treated >us like we were below her!! Crow: Well- Joel: Don't do it, Crow. > How in the hell can you be so damn >forgiving?!?" Haruka says, her voice rising. Suddenly, there's a knock >on the door. "Come in.." Haruka says, her voice low. Tom: Geez, Haruka's voice is going all over the place! > >David pokes his head through the door, Crow: (David) *crash!* Oww.. Joel: (Haruka) You jerk! We only had one take! > "Everything ok Haruka?" > >"We're fine.. thanks for asking though.." Michiru responds. > >"Listen.. I didn't get a chance to thank the both of you properly for >tonight, Crow: (David) IFyaknowwhatImean! > if you all hadn't shown up when you had, I would have been >nothing but a bloody mess in the park.." David visibly shudders at >the thought. > >"Your welcome.." Haruka says back curtly. Joel: (David) What about my welcome? Tom: That was pretty weak, Joel. > >"I also want to apologize, Crow: (David) I am filled with shame and creamy nougat filling. > if I had known the way Rei would react, I >would never have put you in that position, actually, I'm a bit >surprised myself, Tom: (David) I'd never have thought you could put both knees behind your head! > you had a boyfriend when me and dad visited all >that time ago.." but Haruka cut him off. Crow: So.. she broke up with her boyfriend via traffic violations? Joel: The scary part is that I can believe she'd do that. > >"Who told you that?!" Haruka demanded. > >"Your mother.." David replied. Joel: (David) Yo' mama! > >Haruka's eyes widened, "I'll kill her! She has no right going around >telling people things like that, especially when they aren't true!" Tom: Y'know, I can't quite put my finger on it.. but something about that line sounds dubbed. >Haruka sighed, "Do you want to know the truth?" David nodded, "I >was completely lost in myself the last time you came, I had no friends, Crow: (Pikachu toy) Hi Tom! Tom: (Charmander toy) We're your only friends! Joel: (Meowth toy) Spill the blood of innocents! (All break up laughing) Joel: Okay, now let's cut down on the obscure references before the lynch mobs come. >and that bitch of a mother I had was always getting on my case Tom: (Haruka) Good thing Samsonite's so sturdy.. she could've broken it! > that >I needed to find a boyfriend. Joel: o/~ That certain thing called the boyfriend.. > I was lost, until I met Michiru, as >soon as I saw her, I knew my life would never be the same," She >paused looking at Michiru with love and tears in her eye's, Crow: Agh! What's with this guy? Is he dictating while he has the hiccups or something? > "I never >knew it was possible to love someone so much until I met her, Tom: (Haruka) o/~ I have often walked down these streets before.. > even >though, it took be over a year to sort out those feelings and get >all that crap out of my system Crow: Whoa! Now _that's_ constipation! Joel: Crow.. > that it was wrong, the hell it was! >How can loving someone be wrong!!" Tom: Yeah! You go, girl! Joel: Preach on, sister! Crow: You've gotta fight for your right to carpet-bite! Joel: (aghast) Crow! > >"I.. I never knew.." Michiru stuttered as she started to cry softly >on Haruka's shoulder. Joel: o/~ Put your head on my shoulder.. whisper in my ear, baby.. > >David knew when it was time to go, he muttered his goodnights and left >the room. Crow: What? He's leaving? Dammit, I wanted to see.. Tom: We all know what you wanted to see, Crow. I don't think you're gonna. > >----------------------------------------------------------------------------- All: LINE! > >Send me E-mail!! I love E-mail!! Joel: Man, this guy sounds like a golden retriever. >David Lapkovsky (katarn@openface.ca) >Edited by Katago, (jscott@sprint.ca) > Tom: Katarn and Katago.. sounds like a vaudeville act. Joel: C'mon, let's go. Crow: No! There's still a chance.. Joel: No there isn't, Crow. Let it go. Crow: ..fine. <1,2,3,4,5,6,G> Tom: You know what really surprised me about this fic? Joel: Um.. the fact that it's set in Montreal for no apparent reason? Tom: Well, aside from that.. Joel: The author being Sailor Uranus' brother, also for no apparent reason? Tom: Not that, either.. Crow: (bitterly) The fact that despite all the build-up, Haruka _still_ didn't boink Michiru onscreen? Tom: Closer, actually.. Joel: Really? Then what? Tom: Well, if he took out all the silliness about the Dark Kingdom attacking Montreal, and took out his avatar character, and brought in a proofreader, this could be a pretty good fic about the tensions between the Sailor Senshi.. Joel: That's it? Tom: Not quite. It's the fact that despite this, his apparent motivation was nothing more than to write a fic about the Senshi in Montreal.. the very thing that keeps this fic from approaching any kind of quality. (All pause to ponder this.) Tom: Not to mention the thing about Haruka and Michiru never getting it on. What was up with that? Crow: I know! It's a real shame, isn't it? Joel: (to camera) Whaddaya think, sirs? Dr.F: I think Gumball-Boy's philosophy modulators need a once-over.. but hey, whatever drives you maddest, right? Push the button, Frank. Frank: Aye aye, sir! (Frank walks to the console and pushes the but-) | \ | / \ | / \ | / \ | / \|/ --------O-------- /|\ / | \ / | \ / | \ / | \ | Got comments? Questions? Fiery vengeance from the heavens? Send it all to bensan_arizona@yahoo.com. I need human contact! For the love of God, man, send me E-mail! Otherwise I will become a twisted, bitter soul who MSTs only by rote, more to stave off impending insanity than out of any love for the form, after which I'll write a 900-page self-insertion and then jump off the Tappan Zee. No offense is meant to David Lapkovsky (who seems to at least mean well) or the city of Montreal by this MSTing. DKIM, "Ten'ou David", and all that jazz are David Lapkovsky's. "Sailor Moon" and the characters, items, and events therein belong to Naoko Takeuchi. MST3K, Joel, the Mads, the Bots, Deep 13 and the SOL all belong to Best Brains. Anything left after you've subtracted all that is mine. Please don't sue.. I don't have much money to take. --Ben-San Arizona bensan_arizona@yahoo.com "Just remember.. BOOM!!"