§--( Turn off your life )--§ (Oh wait, your in cyberspace. My bad!) Sailor Moon: Neo-Scouts- MSTied! A Turks Investigation Written by Dr. Thinker MSTied by John 'CrowBar' Hurst MakoReno@aol.com Experiment 201 Hey! This is my 6th MSTing, introducing a new team! Thats Why it's Experiment 201 this time. Hope you don't mind. My last 5 were to get use to MSTing, and now that I have, I'll move on to my own Team! I hope you enjoy this. BTW, Dr. Thinker, Thanks for being a good sport. ______________________BUT I MUST DO THIS FIRST_____________________________ Sailor Moon is owned by DiC. Refrences to MST3K and other things are owned by Best Brains Inc. All of the FF7 charecters are owned by SquareSoft, The ruler of RPG's! Kali Hokuten is a charecter created by me. And no, he is not a SI charecter, because if he was, he would be my age (14). Also, his moves are also owned by me. Any refrences to Club Anipike is owned by Nightbreak. This fic is owned by Dr. Thinker. I have his permission to MST this, so you may not flame me or him for the MSTing or the story. This is merely a form of C&C. Have a sense of humor when you read this, Dr. Thinker ()-). ___________________________________________________________________________ Note: BTW, Rufus is alive in my story. Don't kill me or Meta-MST me just for that reason, if you don't like it. I couldn't think of a more evil FF7 villian to use....well, maybe Sephiroth, but he would just kill them! CUE THE THEME! In the not to distant future, I'm not really sure when. Reno and the Turks went, On a Space Mission. But Rufus had a different plan, to trap them up there, man, And now the 3 are stuck up there, and they don't know what they are doing there. (Reno: HELLLPPPP USSS!!) (Rufus singing now) I'll send them stupid fanfics, the worst on this Earth, (La La La) They'll hafta sit and watch them all, and they'll want to be back on this turf. (La La La) (Return to original singers) Keep in mind they can't control, where the fanfic begins or ends. (La La La) And the only way to keep sanity, is to riff how bad fanfics can be... TURK ROLL CALL Cambot (We're live!) Elena (We must do this!) Rude (Don't call me baldy) REEENNNNOO (Allright, Baldy) If you are wondering how they got up there, without a descent rocket and other stuff. (La La La) Just repeat to yourself 'It's Just a show and It's really just fluff. For Mystery Turkish Theater 3000 [Guitar Twang] [Door Sequence] [Sattelite of Shinra - AKA the S.O.S] It's only been a few hourse since the Turks have recived their mission. To go on a unknown sattelite around orbit around the planet. The turks have just gotten inside the station and was looking around. Apparently, this is the bridge that they are looking at. Reno: [Looking Around] Wow! Man! This place is sooo cool! Elena: Shut up, Reno! We have a mission to do here. Reno: That's all you think about, Elena. RELAX! Elena: Well, I guess your right. Nothing can happen here. Reno: Hey, Elena. I thought Rufus died in that blast a couple months back. Elena: Yeah, but many fic writers wrote him back from the dead so much, that his spirit came back and made a new body. Reno: So he was basically pissed...huh? Elena: Yep! Rude: [Turns around and looks at a Hectogon shaped screen] Hello! What is this? Rude played around the thing for a while and then found the switch to turn it on. As the thing turned on, the whole Sattelite boomed with elecricity and other assorted products Rude: [looks at Reno] Now THIS is cool. Reno: Yep! [Finds another button labeled Commercial Sign] hey what's this? Reno presses the button, and the whole ship fades to black, like a commercial. Rude: Damnit, Reno! Reno: Shut up, Baldy. Rude: Don't call me BALDY! [Punch sounds are heard as the commercials start] **************************************************************************** [Commercial Scene: Shows several action shots that look clearly like stock footage.] Narraitor: You've seen him in the Toon World, seducing toons. You've seen him screwing cats. You've seen him as a saiya-jin. [Camera shows a close up of Oscar] Narraitor: He is...OSCAR. [Camera shows a simple symbol of the letters 'Oscar: The Movie' Narraitor: OSCAR: THE MOVIE! Coming to a theater near you in the year 2025. **************************************************************************** The Scene returns as a partailly bandaged Reno and Rude are on the bridge, along with the others. Elena: You know, I have a bad feeling about this place still... Reno: Elena, relax. Nothing can hap... And just as Reno said those words, The Hectoscreen, the thing Rude was playing with, opened up and revealed Rufus Shinra in some underground lab of some sort. [Underground Lab] Rufus: Oh really? What makes you say that? [SOS] ALL: RUFUS?!? [Underground Lab] Rufus: Actually, it wasn't a *job* I gave you. It was more of a test of your foolishness. [SOS] ALL: HUH??? [Underground Lab] Rufus: You see, one of my old friends tortures a human and two bots. He helped me get this place running, called Midgar 13, and created the Sattelite of Shinra for you guys. [SOS] Rude: What? You mean we are TRAPPED up here? Elena: No! We still have the ship we came on. But Rufus has planned for this. He turned around to a small mainframe and hit a button, causing a violent shake on the SOS. Reno: What the... [Midgar 13] Rufus: Hahaha! You might wanna check your external camera no. 7. Or I'll just bring it up for you! He brings up Rocket Cam no. 7 and it shows the ship they came on flying into the Earth's atmosphere. [SOS] Reno: Damnit! So, what are you gonna make us do up here? [Midgar 13] Rufus: I'm sure you guys are familiar with your friends in Anime. Well, I'm going to make you read bad fanfics! And once you guys drive insane, I'll unleash you into the public and rule the world! Isn't that cruel? Shut up. Anyway, let's bring on the first fic! It's a masterpiece by Dr. Thinker called Neo-Scouts, a Sailor Moon fic. Enjoy!! [SOS] Rude: Damn you, Rufus!! [HectoScreen closes] Elena: So.... what do we do now? Rude: I guess read the bad fanfic Reno: It can't be that bad....can it? Suddenly, the kalxon's flash and opens a door to the theater. Reno: Oh crap. WE GOT THINKER SIGN!! [Runs into theater] Elena: Ouch! That hurts my ears! [Walks into the theater.] Rude: This bites [Walks in behind the others] §§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§ [Door 6: It's a PSX. You start playing Final Fantasy Tactics and get stuck. You continue on.] [Door 5: It's a Dippin Dot's stand. You pay $3.00 for one tiny cup of it and walk on.] [Door 4: It's a Coca-Cola 12-pak. You open it up, hoping for a ATM card, but no luck. You carry the pak with you.] [Door 3: It's a refridgerator door. You put the coke in there and walk on.] [Door 2: It's a can of Jolt. Elena gets to the can first, happily accepting it.] [Door 1: It's a Final Fantasy 7 Disc. Reno grabs it and walks on. ] §§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§ The 3 walk in the following order from Left to right: Rude, Reno, Elena. Elena: Might as well make the best of this [Gets the Jolt and starts drinking it] >HELLO! ALL: Hi! > Dr. Thinker's first alternetverse of Moon Troubles. Reno: Hey! He talks in the third person! Rude: And Alternetverse? Elena: I think he meant Alternitive Universe. Sometimes authors can be lazy. > The >story focus on Reeny and Nega-Moon suprizes. Elena: Surprise, Surprise! Rude: Already spelling mistakes ahoy. >This take place >after esopies 65 "Slivingly Reviliys" Reno: Esopie? Sounds like a new weapon. Elena: Shinra never told us about that. >SAILOR MOON: NEO-SCOUTS--Part One: Defeat of Reubuss Rufus: [Comes on Intercom] By the way, did I mention this is 16 parts? Rude: WHAT! Oh.... you !@#&*@#%^#%#@#$^&@# Elena: Whoa! Rude! Take it easy! >Begin NOTES: >TIME: 1 day after the healing of the four sisters. Reno: Hey story... can I have one of those sisters? Elena: Reno? Reno: Yes? Elena: Shut up. >PLACE: Rude: Happy Land? Reno: DisneyLand? Elena: Somewhere? >Tokyo, Japan, in alterverse. ALL: Oh. Rude: Alterverse. That actually sounds pretty cool. Reno: Better than alternetverse. > I using the English names for >people and places. >FACT: Elena: 3 People, sitting on a odd sattelite are currently reading this fanfic. >Reubus, knows Sailor Moon has the crystral. Rude: The coffee crystals anyway. Reno: (Reubus) Damn it, Serena! Gimme the crystals so I can get hyper and rule the world....or something like that. >The Wiseman is >getting nervous Rude: Dr.Katz won't make appointments with him. Reno: Must have bad credit. >about a healing from Sailor Moon to Reubus. Elena: And this is important because.... >INSIDE JOKES: When finish with a esopie. Reno: Maybe Esopie's are ammunition.... or it could be a mispelling. > They will be a NOTES: >That will tell about Jokes to Moon. Elena: [Stupid Comedic Voice] Okok... Why did the SERENA cross the road? Huh? Huh? Huh? Rude: Elena, your scaring me. Stop. >SAILOR MOON IN Elena: Titanic... Reno: Last Action Hero.... Rude: Suburban Commando... >"NEO-MARS APPEARS!" >"Arrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Reno: Yeah... we know how you feel, whoever you are. Rude: Argh, Matey! I'm gonna make you walk the plank. >Reebus had been sashing mirror Elena: (Mirror) Oww! Oww! Quit it! This hurts! Really! >since he had found out that the Rude: The toaster was broken, her pop-tarts were ate cold. Elena: Shameless Cameo No. 1 >Moon had healing the last to Sisters. Reno: Hoo Boy.... > Reebus thunder is so >mean..that it makes live unbearable. Rude: I'm going to leave this theater and buy Dr. Thinker a thesaurus. I'll be right back. [Gets up] Rufus: [On intercom] There is no way you can leave this theater! Rude: What makes you say that? Rufus: All the air is sucked out whenever you read a bad fanfic. The only air coming in and out is in the theater! Rude: [Sitting down] Well...crap. >A filimar voice is hear Reno: (Announcer) THIS IS YOUR LIFE!! Elena: (Announcer) Do you recognize this voice? >"Still mad or have you broken enough mirror?" remarks a driod. Reno: (Mirror) Listen! It's not funny! It hurts! [Makes bone snapping noise] OW!! My leg!! >She look like a Mirror with golden sides that had be mutanted. ALL: Mutanted? Elena: Was it barbacued? >"Droid Mirrora! I don't believe it! Rude: (Ruebus) Diet Dr.Pepper DOES taste like regular Dr.Pepper Elena: No. 2! >Curse that Sailor Moon! Elena: (Ruebus) She Took the last bottle of Citra from me! > She >that one that has the crystral! Rude: Is he pointing at something or is it a grammar error? You decide. > I don't believe it!" >"Hope you don't be drestory!", another voice ring out. Reno: (Voice) DESTROYED on the other hand is what I'm hoping. >It was >Princess Emarld of the Nega-Moon. Elena: (Emerald) Listen! That droid of yours took the last of the god damn Herbal Essance! >"A Nice Suprise!" ALL: (Singing Quickly) Happy birthday to you... >"Wiseman said this is your last change or fast the fact that your >are a dead meat, get it it thought you thick skull!" Rude: (Emerald) Hey! It's the *thought* that counts >"OK! Me and that Droid are heading for town. Elena: (Ruebus) I have to pick up groceries, call the dry cleaners, destroy the good guys.... I may hafta mark out that. Then I have to... > See ya!" Reno: I can't imagine a bad guy saying that AND going to town. Elena: Hey... we do. Reno: Yeah... but it's the Sailor Moon universe. Doesn't DiC have rules against that? The 3 think for a moment. >********************************************************* Elena: You know, at least Dr.Thinker makes Scene Changes noticable, unlike in some fics I have read. >At a singe on Cherry Hill land... > At a singe on Cherry Hill land... RENO: Rei had finally snapped and had taken a flame thrower to the place. ELENA: (singing) Cherry hill land... cherry hill land... where blonde hair ditzes love to romp and all of the acting's bland... >two people are taking each >other. Reno: Uhhh.... That's nice Dr.Thinker. Can we move on? Elena: That does NOT sound right...even by MY standards. >"Raye! Something in dreams are bugging me." asked a women in a >red bussiness suit. Rude: (Gal) I keep dreaming I'm in a horrible Dr. Thi.... Oh wait... never mind! > She had a straw hat with a yellow brim >covering her purple hair. Elena: Wow! Details! At last! >"Huh?" asked Ray. Reno: (Rei) You can call me RAY, You can call me JAY... Rude: PLEASE don't start that joke. >"I have a strange dreams." Rude: (Kirk) Can we... decipher that... sentence? Elena: (Uhura) Not sure, sir. Reno: (Scotty) We are trying the best we can! We can't take much more of this! >"Can you tell me about them?" Reno: (Gal) No... they are rather personal. Elena: Reno.... >"Sure thing" Rude: (Gal) But I'll first tell you about Sure and Sure Ultra Dry. Elena: No. 3 >"I was walking down the main road of Crystral Tokyo. Reno: (Gal) I then got hit by a car. The End. >I was yellow >out something. Elena: She was YELLOW?? How the hell? Rude: That is one SERIOUS suntan! >Some look crossed between a mirror and bad youma. Reno: Uhh... Judging from the look of the image... THAT IS A BAD YOUMA! Elena: Ok...calm down, Reno. Reno: It's just... this thing is so confusing! Rude: Take it easy! [Hands Reno a Advil] Reno: Whoa! [Scoops the advil up] Thanks man! >She said that I going to get erased from C.T! Rude: Chrono Trigger? Reno: Crabby Tyrants? Elena: CrowBar's Talk? Reno: Don't break the 4th wall now. Rude: Maybe it's ET's cousin... like a evil one. Elena: (Announcer) ET is back...with friends. Reno: (ET's Evil Side) ET phone home and give you phone bill! How about that? ET never liked you anyway! >I shut out >something... Rude:(Gal) Windows 98 crashed... so it was only right to do so. Reno: Say... what IS this girls name? Elena: Yeah... Dr.Thinker never gave it to us... oh well, I don't care. >I was back in the Dark Moon Outfit with a Dark Moon >Cresent on me Rude: Huh??? I'm sorry...did we miss something? >....back in was at the Temple with you guy healing >me." Reno: That sentence made sense! In fact, most of it did! >"Any thing strange of then that?" Elena: Spoke too soon, Reno. Rude: (Gal) Yeah... our talking! >"Yes! This pen pop out of my purse." Rude: (Rei) Well, if you left the jumping beans out of it, it wouldn't. >The pen was a long red stick was a moon on top. The Moon on top >contian the symbol of Mars. Reno: My my... THIS pen seems VERY familar. Rude: For once, your right. Reno: I am.....HEY!! > Raye took out her Star Pen. Her pen >had a long stick that was red with a red star containing the >symbol of Mars. Elena: Looks like the cloning deal has gone TOO far! >"This is fastining", Raye remarks. Reno: (Rei) Well, the seatbelt is, anyway. But no, this story isn't at all. >Raye open up her communcater >decivide... ALL: HUH?? Rude: Communist Divide? Reno: Comm Cater Deciever? Elena: What the heck is that? Reno: I have no earthly idea. >"GREAT NEWS FOR ONE PERSON Reno: (Rei) Me! I won the lottery! Haha! Elena: They don't have a lottery in Japan. Reno: Oh well... I tried. >..ANOTHER SCOUT!" Elena: (Rei) Now we don't have to sell those icky girl scout cookies. >***************************************************************** >Mina was at home playing "Sailor V". Rude: (Mina) My N64 is broken, so why not. Elena: No. 4 > Artimis was sleeping on the >couch. Elena: Deformed brother of Artemis. Reno: Oh good. At least Artemis is at her house. Rude: What do you mean? Reno: Let me tell you about Oscar... [The 3 all huddle up in a group and whispers are heard] Elena: Oh dear god no!!! [The 3 break huddle and go back to their seats] Rude: That's....SICK! Reno: I'll tell you about some more later. >"Great! Level 10--Nega Forest Tower! About time, too!" Reno: (Mina) All I need to do know is find the secret 'Kill-The-Self- Inserter' Level and bingo.. Nav and them will be doomed! >BEEP BEEP! Elena: Oh! Her pacemaker's going off. That's a bad sign. >"Ugh! Loss!" Reno: All I know is that she probably just lost the game...but I'm not sure. >Opening her commucater, Raye head is show Rude: Rei's head is shown going THROUGH the communicator. That HAS to hurt! Reno: Well, of course her head is showing. >"Raye! WHY DID YOU MAKE ME LOSE!" Elena: (Mina) And why did you steal my question marks? >"Keep quiet! I have found a new scout!" ALL: WE DON'T CARE!! >"THANK YOU!" ALL: [Total Slilence] Elena: That was the oddest conversation I've ever heard! >She closes the commucation. Reno: and smashes Rei's head. Rude: Huh? Reno: It said her head was shown THROUGH it earlier Rude: Oh yeah. >"Artimis...SPECAIL MEETING..TEMPLE!" Elena: (Mina) Must...talk...like...Shatner! >Artimis jump out of bed and on to her shoulders. Elena: (Artemis) Now... why did I like that dude who knew I talked about earlier. What was his name...oh yeah! He was that green guy from Sesame Street. Reno: Elena, WRONG Oscar. Elena: Oh... >*********************************************************** >Amy and Lita were at Serena house. Rude: Planning her *doom*... Elena: Growing dark on us, Rude? > Serena just get up from a >small nap. Reno: So... 20 hours is a safe bet for her then, huh? >"Raye doesn't know it a weekend?", Serena mubbles tirely. Rude: That sentence does not make any sense. Elena: NAH.... she thought it was nightime now with the full moon as the sun. OF COURSE SHE KNEW IT WAS A WEEKEND! >"Luna, Raye have found another scout!", Amy remarks. Rude: (Luna) Well, I'm not the passport adviser for Sailor Senshi. >"Give me a break! After being kick around by the droids of the >Nega-Moon. I will sleep for three whole centries." [ALL stare at screen blankly] Reno: I'm sorry... did Luna say that? Or did Usagi? WE NEED DETAILS. >"Do I have to..." Rude: (Usagi)Kill you...why yes you do... just to get out of this fic anyway! >"Drag you? No way, Lita Let's go, I get this over with!" thunder >Serena. Elena: So... there is a THUNDER SERENA also? Man, my head hurts. You got any more asprin, Rude?? Rude: Here. [Hands Elena one] I need one myself. [Pops one into his mouth as well] >************************************************************ Reno: (Singing) Dashing through the fic, in a Dr.Thinker sleigh... >Mirrora, a form like Reebus..Red long hair...black eyes. Rude: Wanted for several charges of assult and robbery. >were in alley, two blocks from the temple. Elena: There was a nice Chinese place in that alleyway, so why not? >"Mirror... Reno: (Rubeus) Mirror on the wall, who's the lamest of them all? Elena: (Mirror) You are, sir. >you were get the four lady back! I will handle the pink >brat and her friends...the Scouts! You should go head. Keep me >posted." Rebuss said. ALL: [Stare in shock...once again] Rude: Funny.... That ALMOST made sense. >"No problemo!", the driod reply and disseaper. Elena: Is his droid in the language Jive? >"I hope his works!" Rebuss thought. >***************************************************************** >"Were is the new Scout?" asked Serena. Rude: (Usagi) Here's the plan... we give her all the cookies, then we run for it! >"Over there!" Raye reply and point to Cathy. Reno: [Quite Annoyed] Oh! so THAT'S her name! YOU SHOULD OF GAVE IT EARLIER! Rude: Calm down, man! >"That's just, Cathy!" Reno: (Usagi) My point has been made! >"Think again..Meatball head!" Elena: (Usagi) Nope...just Cathy....no Sailor Senshi. >"Meatballs?", thunder a unexpected voice. Reno: Who? Rude: Maybe it's a pasta lover or something. >"Who are you?", asked Raye. Reno: One if the few rules in fan-fiction: Never let the good guys ask the bad guys, that bad. A good example is the above line. >"I'm Driod Mirrora. I will drestory those who be traitor the >Nega-Moon." Elena: (Mirrora) I'll just have to live with drestroying, can't afford to destroy. Stupid paycheck. >"NO SO FAST! MOON CRYSTRAL POWER!" >With in a flight of pink light Serena had become Sailor Moon. Rude: DUDE! They're like naked when they transform.. whoa!. Reno: [Looks at Elena]Uhh... he hasn't seen Sailor Moon before. Don't mind him. >The driod, "GREAT MOON BEAMS!" Elena: Like she's never seen the Sailor Senshi. >"You going to get it! In the name, Moon. I will punish you!" Rude: Go Ahead! PUNISH ME! [Reno finds his nightsick and electrocutes him.] Rude: AHH!! [Calm now] Thanks. Reno: No prob. >"Is here or on the planet Quess Again?" remarks the droid. Elena: Did they find a new planet while this was in the making? Rude: No... but I've never heard of Planet Quess Again... >"Moon Sceptor Elimated!" Elena: This totally crumbles the wand and make the Sailor Senshi run in fear. >"The driod disseaper and reapper sides Cathy." Elena: Who said that? Reno: Maybe the story hired a narriator. >"Cathy! LOOK OUT!", Raye shouted! Rude: (Rei) Incoming Salesman! RUN!! >Cathy ducks the arms of Mirrora. Reno: Huh? Did she turn the arms into ducks? Rude: I think she meant she 'ducked the droid's arms.' >"Driod Mirrora will not be drestory!" Elena: Gee....this is VERY exciting. >"GUESS AGAIN!" Rude: (Alex) Name a author who I can't understand. Reno: (Guy) What is 'Dr.Thinker'? >"MARS STAR POWER!" Reno: I thought all the morphs are the same like '(INSERT PLANET NAME HERE) CRYSTAL POWER...MAKE UP. Elena: Oh well. >Raye in a circle of fire...becomes SAILOR MARS. Rude: And there was much rejoicing Others: (Sarcastic) Hooray. >"You don't look like the MARS, I know!" Elena: (Whoever is saying that) The MARS I know has 2 little moons and rotates around the su.... oh wait... we are talking about Sailor Senshi, arn't we? >"THE DREAM MIRROR!", Cathy thunders "They need help! MARS NEO- >STAR POWER!" Reno: This causes a time paradox and destroys the Earth. The End. >Cathy in a circle of fire...become Neo-Mars. Rude: Spare us ALL the wonderful details.... Reno: And how come all the Senshi are there, but only 2 of the real ones are fighting? >"I tought so! That hair do-look familar!" Elena: (Whoever) That's the Marge Simpson look! >"You going to SORRY!" thunder Cathy. Rude: (Cathy) That was a winning lottery ticket you had! >"Huh?" asked Raye and Serena. Cathy was in Mars Outfit. She was >in her own hair-do. Rude: Well, of course. >"NEO-MARS FLAMING ATTACK!" Cathy shouted. Reno: But Usagi was sick of this newcomer and poured gas on her. Whenever she did the attack, she bursted into flames. The End. >"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!", said Mirrora. Reno: (Mirrora) I'm in a Thinker fic!!! Rude: What just happened? Elena: I am wondering myself >"How send that present to us?", said Serena Reno: Hey Dr.Thinker, that would have made sense if it wasn't a word game! >"I DID!", thunder Rebuss, "I will be attack." Elena: Oh yes, he will. BY THE TURKS [Turk theme rises up, then suddenly slows down] Elena: Huh? Reno: It doesn't work that way here, I guess. >************************************************************** Rude: We need to hire a snowplow to get us outta this fic. >Emarld was on the stand. Rebbus was bowing to her. Reno: (Ruebus) My leige... how come my name has been different in every scene? >"I give you the five more changes..or esle be elimated!" Elena: (Ruebus) Allright! Height Change, Weight Change.... >"Five Point-Five Scouts." Rude: 5 pointy objects versus 5 scouts? Elena: Rude.... that sounded sick. >"Hope you handle that?" Reno: (Ruebus) Why...thats pretty personal. Elena: You too....knock it off. >***************************************************** >Renny walks slowy up the stairs. >"You look hieght change, Reeny." Rude: Does that make any sense to you guys? Reno: Nope Elena: Not a thing of it. >"I know...Some one must have found some of impentene from the >future here.", Reeny. Reno: Huh? Who's talking? Where are they at? What time is it? Rude: Here...TAKE the whole thing [hands the whole bottle of Advil to Reno] Reno: [Starts engulfing the whole bottle.] >Reeny thunders "YEAH!" and walks into Serena. Elena: Rude, your right. We need to pitch in and buy Dr.Thinker a thesaurus. Rude: Running INTO Serena? Wouldn't that cause a telefrag or something? >"Sorry about that!" Reno: (Rini) Hehee... I always run into people and do that. >"I don't believe it!" Elena: These mentos don't really god dam* work! Rude: Shameless Stock Plug No. 67 - The Mentos statement. >"I do!", Cathy remarks. Reno: Do what? What the heck are they talking about? Oww... my head hurts. >***************************************************************** >THE END ALL: WOHOOOOOO!!! Elena: Come on! Lets get outta here! [The 3 exit the theater] §§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§ [Door 1: It's a Final Fantasy 7 Disc case. Reno, seeing that he never used it in the fanfic, puts it back. ] [Door 2: Where a can of Jolt was, is now a trash can. Elena throws the Jolt can into the trash.] [Door 3: It's a refridgerator door. You grab the coke and bring it with you.] [Door 4: It's a Surge dude. As he yells 'SURGE' in your ear, Rude tapes his mouth shut with super glue.] [Door 5: It's a Dippin Dot's stand. You throw the cup you had earlier, causing a bonk on the cashier there.] [Door 6: It's a PSX. You start playing Final Fantasy Tactics and get stuck. You get your memory card out and move on.] §§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§ [Scene- SOS Bridge.] Reno: Wow! That was the most oddest piece I've seen. Rude: Yeah. And no details either. Elena: Well, some details about a FREAKING hat! [The MAD's (SO to speak) light is flashing] Rude: Oh great, Mr. T is calling us. [Hits button] [Midgar 13] Rufus: Greetings, my new experiments. How was the fic? [SOS] Reno: Extremely painful, sir. Elena: Just curious. How did you get the fic up here? [Midgar 13] Rufus: Well, I'm glad you asked. [He types something on his keyboard and out comes a sattelite dish with a small insert slot on the bottom.] This is the Fanfiction Transportation Device, or FTD, created by your friends in the Shinra weapons division. [SOS] Reno: Hey! Waitaminute!! Shinra was destroyed! [Midgar 13] Rufus: Thanks for ruining the moment, Reno! Ok. The FTD was actually made by Dr. Forrester and allows me to send the worst fanfics to you. Let me demonstrate [He puts in part 2 of Neo-Scouts and hits the button]... All of a sudden, a alarm went on in the SOS. [SOS] Elena: What the?? What's happening? [Midgar 13] Rufus: [Rapidly typing into the keyboard] Damnit! [Turns to HectoScreen] Something is wrong.... but Dr. F said this might happen. All I have to do is transfer the energy onto the Sattelite of Shinra and.... Rufus types in the commands to do so. On the SOS, a flash of light was occuring, much like the critical slashes from Final Fantasy 6. [SOS] Elena: Fine! Just tell us all the wonderful details, why don't you! Reno: Oh...Crap! Something's wrong! Rude: Nah....you think? Several more flashes occured. Then, it suddenly stopped. From where the energy was being transferred, stood a man, roughly in his 20's. He had black hair, dark clothing, jeans, and a unusual sword behind his back. Man: Huh? Where am I? I should've known not to buy the cheap brand of teleportation devices. The 3 turks look at the newcomer on the Sattelite. Rude: Excuse me, but, who ARE you? Man: My name is Kali Hokuten. I was trying to Transport to some club place, something called the Anipike, and all of a sudden, I get stuck up here. Elena: [Mumbling] Looks like someone has been playing Final Fantasy Tactics a bit too long. Kali: Anyway, who are you guys? Reno: I'm Reno, this lovely gal is Elena... Elena: Hi! Reno: And baldy over here is Rude Rude: Dangit! I told you NOT to call me BALDY! Reno: Allright, Allright...shessh! They begin to tell him what has happened, while they've been there, which is not much. To skip the story, we'll pick up at the end of it. Elena: ...and so, thats how we came up here and what we are doing right now. Kali: Oh really [Turns to HectoScreen] Listen, Rufus. [Pulls out the odd sword from behind his back. It looks much like a flames, with all the points being very sharp and such.] As soon as I get down from here, this sword is going somewhere very very bad, got it Rufus? [Midgar 13] Rufus: My my my.... such touchy language. Anyway, I hope you enjoy part 2 of Neo-Scouts, Mr. Hokuten. MWHAHA [Presses button again to send fic] [SOS] Kali: You guys used to work for this bunghole? Rude: Yeah. Surprising, ain't it? [Commercial Sign flashes] Reno: Uhh... We'll be right back [Prepares to touch button] Elena: Don't do that! [Holds Reno's hand back] Reno: Why? Elena: Because, remember what it did last time? Reno: Yeah... that was fun! Kali: [Touches button] There! Happy? [Fade's to Black] **************************************************************************** [Scene Shows Oscar and Artemis playing a Duke Nukem clone ] Oscar: Damnit, Cat! You beat me again [Stands up in front of TV and looks at the TV. Artemis is in the background holding a card that says 'Help me'] Oscar: Wanna know what the best system is!?! [Artemis is holding a card that now says 'I'll pay ya 40,000 yen'] Oscar: It's the one where you can play many titles... [Artemis is now holding a card that says 'Luna... I'm sorry for leaving you'] Oscar: Like Super Herm 64, and Star Cat 64, and even Duke Screw'em 64! [Artemis is holding a card that now says 'He beats me every night!'] Oscar: And even the famed *Vibrator* Pak... [Artemis has a new card that says 'And he beats me more when he loses at these games] [Oscar turns around and Artemis quickly hides the cards. Oscar turns back around and Artemis is now holding a card with the caption 'http://crowbar.cjb.net/ it tells the true stories'] Oscar: The even have a *Tennis* Game! [Artemis' Card says 'Call your local attorney for me please!'] Oscar: Yes... it's the Hermaphodite 64... THE System for people like me! [Artemis holds a card that says 'Yeah...screw ups!] **************************************************************************** TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2..... §--( Continue with your life off )--§ (And this a Thinker fic....by the way) Part 2 of Sailor Moon: Neo-Scouts - MSTied Written by Dr. Thinker MSTied by John 'CrowBar' Hurst (MakoReno@aol.com) Let's continue one...shall we? §§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§ [The 4 enter the theater] Kali: So this is the fic your MSTing? Reno: Yeah...it sucks. Kali: What has happened so far? Rude: Well, the Sailor Moon cast gets a new scout that we don't know of the name until the end of the part. Then some Droid that is a *mutanted* mirror attacks them and only 3 scouts attack, including the new one, while the others are basically stoned and don't fight. Then more stuff happens and.. [sweat drops from Rude's head]... I need a asprin. Reno, where's that bottle of Advil? Reno: Too late, I used the last of it. Rude: Damn. >Part 2 - Birdly faces her nightmare of Snow-demon that can't be >drestory by FIRE! Kali: Then it isn't a snow-demon. Simple physics! RUDE: Then maybe FIRE 3 would work. It's more powerful. RENO: Scouts with materia... now there's a scary thought. >***************************************************************** >INSIDE JOKE: Rude: This fic. >Rebus craking mirrors--If you watch esopies N/A #65 "Sliving >Rilvary" Elena: Do we still have anything related to a esopie? Reno: I think I got one in my garage at home. > at the end of the esopies Rebbus cracks a mirror. >Mirrors can bring 7 years bad luck to a poeple..unforcatly Kali: Poeple? Is that another word for POD PEOPLE? Rude: And Unforcatly? Is it unforecastly? Reno: (Weather Person) Today is a BEAUTIFUL DAY with highs in the near 80's and no clouds in the sky! Get your bathing suits on! ALL: [Make thunder clashing noises] > in the >REAL MOON Universeal he only..2 more esopies. Elena: I don't think Universal would take this fic. In fact... they probably wouldn't do Aikan Muyo or Usagi's Usual Morning either. >"Here or on the planet Quess Again?"--Ivy qoute from Where on >Earth Is Carmen Sandiego?" ALL: [Singing] Where in the world is Carmen Sandiago! >Reeny height--found out that he upcoming parts Reno: [Tries to hold in laughter] That doesn't sound right. [bursts out laughing] Elena: You have a sick mind, Reno. >***************************************************************** >Reach me at WINKSTWO@NEWREACH.NET. No flames! Other stuff is >weclome! Kali: Well, no THINKER DELETE KEY [Voice echos] this time. Rude: Wha?? Kali: In his MSTings, he has a move called THINKER DELETE KEY! [Voice echos again] Where is that echo coming from.... the sound should drive it out. >Sign Reno: [Singing] It's a sign of the times... >Dr. Thinker >*I have a big surprize on Sailor Moon in my unverise!* Elena: Whoever said that means... Rude: DON'T EVEN THINK THAT!! >I'm back with part 2. Kali: Why...we know. >SAILOR MOON NEO SCOUTS: PART TWO - ICE STORMS Reno: Yeah... I wonder if its going to be sunny today? >"Five Change..One lost!!! Why didn't you try me that!", Rebbus >thunders!" Elena: (Whoever else) Listen, you wanted the smaller paycheck and the role in this Thinker fic. I tried to warn you but nooo.... >"I fought to tell you used one....but that how evil goes!" Kali: Who's saying that? And why did she fight to tell him that stupid thing? Rude: I wish I had some asprin myself, buddy. >"You sick, Emarld, sick!" Reno: (Rubeus) How about WE get sick together? *THWAP!* Oww!! Elena: [Holding Reno's nightstick] Hehehe. That was fun! Reno: What do you mean? *THWAP* oww! *THWAP* oww!!! >"Thank you, Rebbus", Emarld sign as she disseaper. Kali: What? Did she sign out of the hotel before leaving? WHERE THE HELL IS THIS FIC AT ANYWAY?? DETAILS!! Elena: Kali, calm down! >***************************************************************** Rude: Well, the snow is tightly packed. >Cathy was sleepingly soundly Reno: Sleepingly soundly? Elena: One of the many mistakes of Dr.Thinker! Order your copy today! > that you can pin drop. Elena: So... you can drop a pin on the floor and she will wake up. Rude: (Cathy) [Pretends to step in pin] OWW!! DAMN YOU, SPRINT! > Since she >become Sailor Neo-Mars..she get a good dream for a change. Reno: A WET ONE! Elena: Reno! Now that is sick! Kali: Hey, I like this kid! [Pats Reno on the head] Reno: And who are YOU calling 'kid'? I'm the leader OF THE TURKS! (echo) Hmm, the echo is back. Anyway, and don't you forget it. Kali: Allright, Allright! Don't be so sensitive! >************************************************************** > >Queen Raye, ruler of the Mars section of Crystral Tokyo and the >orignal scouts of the planet of Mars. Kali: Huh? Rude: So she is the ruler of part of Crystal Tokyo and stuff. How nice. Elena: Smells like Samus Aran will be here any second. > She was using old wooden >chairs for her oak maple desk. Reno: And she is using a chair opposed to a desk. Rude: This gets more confusing every minute > She was the ruler of section that >controls church and temples..and other Kali: ...Assorted strikes against Disney & Dungeons and Dragons. > regilous objects of than Elena: The Religious Objects of Than? Kali: Sounds like Montey Python stuff. Reno and Rude: [Singing] The Religious Stuff of Than.... >the Sliver Crystral and the Rude: The parties around her section of Crystal Tokyo. Elena: (Rei) [Acting Drunk] I onlyyyy hadd a cooouuuupppllleee of drinks! I am Cap-ap-able of driving to..tonight. > Moon Staff...which are put of Queen >Serena, and her descent Princess Reeny. Kali: So she leads the moon staff...but Usagi leads them. Rude: No... Rei leads them, but Serena put them together. Kali: Oh.... Let's all chip in and buy Thinker a grammar checker. ALL: Ok. >"Good Morning, Raye!" Reno: [Anchor] This is...Today. Elena: Nah...I thought it was Yesterday. >"Thank you, Cathy!" Rude: Huh?? Did Cathy give her a espresso or something?? What What!? Give us some details! >"As you may know, in the future the Dark Moon will attack. Reno: Wasn't that a bad sci-fi movie? >I tell >is from the past of my mind. Elena: (Fortune Teller Rei) I KNOW THE PAST, THE PRESENT, and... well, ok. I DON'T know the future. >I know that you are one of the Dark >Moon Sister and one of the Neo-Scouts. Kali: and how does she know that? Well, first off, based on what these guys said, SHE TRANSFORMED IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE!! > I hope you can help out >here!" Rude: (Cathy) Well, sure. I'll help you out. By burning this fanfic to itty bitty pieces and getting on with our lives. >"I will be a BIG HELP!" Reno: (Cathy) By pushing you into the well. >"Thank you!" Elena: Note to Thinker: You don't have to say Thank you every other line. Rufus: [On intercom] This is his first fanfic, by the way. He has gotten a tad better in the others. Rude: A....tad? Reno: Oh man! >***************************************************************** >Prisma bed was empty..unusally she gets some sleep..but >today..she is busy slaving over a calucator. The Four Sister's >shop was busy as a bee that day. Kali: Wow! That made better sense than the earlier parts Elena: Yeah... I can actually understand it [A Chorus voice is overheard singing the Messiah...or much better the Hallauhyah chorus in it] >Avery was having a sleep with out dreams. [Chorus stops] Rude: That was quickly destroyed. Reno: No kidding. >A yelp comes from a bed in a blue sheet. Reno: [Laughing like Beavis] Elena: I should whack you.... but I'm kind of wondering what it meant myself. > It is Birdy's bed. She >just get up from nightmare. Kali: Insert your favorite 'Found out I'm in a bad fanfic' joke here. >She walks to her blue purse. Rude: [Sarcastic] Yeah... I was *really* worried about the color of her purse. > On the country was the others..in >the orders as follow: Cathy's red one, Prisma's green purse, >Avery's Orange one, and her light blue one. Elena: And this is important because.... Reno: They get their supplies and... accessorize! >Out of the purse pop out a powerful looking thing. Reno: A James Bond type Laser watch? Rude: A nuclear weapon? Elena: And why is it popping out of her purse. Kali: Maybe it's a new type of gag pen or something. Like the water snake. >It was a long >blue stick with a Moon. Reno: Now...thats a tad to easy, isn't it? Elena: So the first plot point involves purses and sticks. I think we are doomed. Rude: Yepper. > On the inside of the Moon, there was a >smybol of Mercury. She took out the power stick. Rude: (Announcer) Yes! You too can have the joys of energy and writing like mad with the NEW Power Stick! >She yell "MERCURY NEO-STAR POWER!" Kali: She finds a odd pen in her purse, and THEN she knows what to do with it? THIS IS DRIVING ME INSANE!! [Red and Purple energy start swirling around Kali's body. The others back off slowly from him] >***************************************************************** Reno: [Singing] Jingle Bells, What the hell, am I doing here? I should be home watching for when the trash will arrive there. Elena: Not bad, Reno. >Meanwhile, at the Temple, Mercury and Mars were testing Neo-Mars. Rude: Thank you for sharing that nice piece of info with us, Dr. Thinker. Elena: Should Ami be chatting on IRC or something now? Kali: Or be at Alt.rec.help.me.now? >Mercury and Mars had Neo-Mars corner until a shadow appear behind >Neo-Mars. Reno: It's Oscar, and he's pissed! >"I'm Sailor Neo-Mercury! Champion of Crystral Tokyo!" Kali: I'm sorry, that position is already taken by Sailor Moon, but you can always try for treasurer. >"Birdy?" Mars and Mercury mubbles. ALL: O_O? Kali: Mubbles? Rude: Maybe it's when those old people talk and the bubbles come out of their mouth. Elena: But they are like Teens! Rude: Oh yeah...forgot about that. >"NEO-MERCURY SNOW ATTACK!" Reno: YES!!! Plow the fanfic right under! Do it again! >Attack like bizzard in middle Janury attack the Scouts... Rude: Ok... it attacked....but it attacked. >"And I fought that Ice Cream Nega-Moon monster attack was cold!" >blurred out Raye. Elena: Is Dr.Thinker's spell checker drunk? >"Frosty?" asked Birdy questionly. Kali: We can't stay frosty during this fanfic, sorry. >"Let me warn..you up..!" Reno: Warn you up? Isn't that like the AOL Instant Messanger's Warning System? Rude: Or the universal hand signal....a.k.a The Middle Finger. >"NEO-MARS FLAMING ATTACK!" Elena: She grabs a flame thrower and burns them to pieces Reno: (Jimbo) QUICK NED! Thin out their numbers!! Kali: (Ned) Thin out there numbers [Makes flame thrower noises] >Mars and Mercury was attack by huge buch of flamming circles. The >Power of the Circle.... Kali: [Humming the Star Wars theme] Rude: [Obi-wan Kenobi] May the Circle be with you... >..hurt hold on both of them. Reno: Thats like a wrestling move, isn't it? >"Thanks a lot of Neo-Pyro", Raye mustered out. ALL: MUSTERED?? Rude: (Rei) We have this leftover muster from 1942...want some? >"Thank you!", Birdy said. Kali: [Energy gets more intensed around his body] STOP SAYING THANK YOU, SENSHI!! Reno: Are you ok? Kali: [Energy tones down. He smiles as he turned to Reno] Yeah...just fine. >Cathy just slimes. [All slightly laugh] Rude: (Birdy) EWW! Cathy! What did you do that for? Reno: (Cathy) Because I'm now a Nickelodeon Spokesperson! FEAR ME!! >**************************************************************** >Meanwhile Kali: (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)... in the universe two doors down and to the right... Reno: (Ditto)... 4 people were watching this fic...and hating it... > on the dark ship, Rebbus and Emarld were watching a >monster. ALL: YOUMA!! > The monster was driod that was a cross betwen Bizzard >and Game Machine Man Rude: FEAR ME! BECAUSE I AM... Game Machine Man. Elena: What does he do? Spit out quarters? Reno: Maybe he's the thing that eats your money. Kali: That thing sucks! I mean, you want a Reese's Pieces and suddenly.... it eats the quarter! >"How Driod Yukess coming?", Emarld ask, Rude: I don't know, but she's yucking it up. Kali: Yeah, just how should *we* know? Reno: Mmmhmm, you'd have to wonder if she's coming by herself or with somebody else. Elena: Reno... remind me to hit you for that one. Reno: What'd I say?! >"Good! He is pratical from a match...this will be the 'GAME OVER' >sign for Moon. I hope!", Rebbues. Kali: (Rubeus) Haha... I made a funny.... >***************************************************************** >Unware that Moon has accidently find the monster. Elena: Uhh... It's kind of hard to *accedently* bump into a monster that is huge and looks like a arcade machine? >"Hey, monster-kun, up here!" Rude: (Sailor Moon) We are playing Jenga. Wanna play? >"Sailor Moon, the Champion of Justice?" Reno: Nah... It's a nameless Sailor on the RMS Titanic!! What do you think?? Oww....my head hurts... Rude: You had all that asprin man! It has too! Kali: I'm kind of wishing for this fic to sink under myself. >"Yes! In going to punish you in the name of the Moon!" Rude: Punish me...please.. *WHACK!* oww! Elena: Don't go hentai on me! >"Try some snow balls, Sailor Brat!", the driod thunders. Kali: [Snickers] *POW!* ouch! Elena: You too! >"MARS CESTLE FIRE SURROND!" thunder Mars. Reno: Watch intesnly as HE THUNDERS the competition Rude: Saying thunder so many times must make the Senshi tired. Elena: I know I am. >The driod just let out a cracker! Kali: (Parrot) Polly didn't want a cracker though! Polly wants a Surround Sound TV! >"I want that dead as a door nail!" thunder Rebbus from behind. Reno: (Monster)Duh.. Ok... I'll grab the dead guy. Where to you want him nailed at? Rude: (Rubeus) Oh man... >"I going to get you!" >"Yeah, right, Dumiod!" Elena: Please... Sailor Moon, I know you are small with words, but I don't think Dumoid is going to scare ANYTHING Reno: Yeah... let's give you a example of how to make them angry...[coughs] BALDY!!! Rude: Why you [Pounces on Reno and begins making a ruckus with him] Kali: [Eating some popcorn] Want some? [hands some to Elena] Elena: Sure. [Takes it] Where did you get it anyway. Kali: I found it on the floor... I guess Reno forgot it or something [The fight is still going on] >He look at the famous skirit of the Scouts on a different humans. Rude: [Looks up from the fighting] (Monster) Damn, they're fine! Reno: [punches Rude] Rude: Hey!! [gets back to fighting] >"Who are you?" the driod asked. Kali: (Random Neo-Scout) We are the slave girls you requested, sir! >"We are the Scouts of Crystral Tokyo. We will future for future Elena: (Neo Scout) Oh crud, we're stuck in a time loop... >love and justice." Reno: (Scout) As long as we get paid! *TWAP* OWW! >Cathy said "I'm Sailor Neo-Mars" >Birdy said "I'm Sailor Neo-Mercury!" Elena: I'm Elena. Reno: [Pops up from fight] I'm Reno! Rude: [Pops up with a kick to Reno] I'm Rude. [The two get back to fighting] Kali: Of course you are! And I'm Kali.... oh...wait! You meant the fic.. sorry. >Together they said "We will punish you in the name of our >planets!" Elena: That's very nice....NEXT!! [The two finnaly stop fighting and get to their seats.] Rude: [panting] That....was fun. Reno: [Also panting] Yes....it was. RudeL Better than...this fanfic >"Yes, right!" Kali: (Cathy) We always are...because they WRITE us that way! >"NEO-MARS FLAMMING ATTACK!" Reno: Yes... they keep on coming with the Flaming attacks... Rude: Neo-Mars needs some new moves...and fast! >The flames miss the monster as he jumped! Elena: FEEL the intensed action sequences! >"Oh, brother! What a curse!" Rude: Who said that? Kali: Must have been Dr.Thinker. >A rose flash before them. [Everybody Shields their eyes] >A man in tudexo with a cape. Reno:(Announcer) Come on down! You're the next contestant on THE PRICE IS RIGHT!! > On his head, he wear a top hat. In >one of his hand, he hold a cane. Elena: (Tuxedo Kamen) [acting like old man] Dont laugh at me! Why in my better days, I could beat you down with this cane! >"You should not bug NEW or OLD scouts!" >Tudexo Kali: WAYYY mutated brother of Tuxedo Kamen. > extend his cane. He fight against the monster. ALL: DUH!! > Sailor Moon >called out... Reno: (Stan) Oh my god! They killed Tuxie! Rude: (Kyle) I don't care... lets get some tuna. >"MOON TAIRA Rude: Banks? MAGIC!" Kali: [Energy growing more intensed] Can't they give us a warning???!!? Elena: They did, this time... Kali: [Toning down] Oh yeah... >The taira attack the beast. Rude: [Sarcastic] My my.... Such DEATH-DEFYING SEQUENCES!!! >"Look like we win, I get my own powers back! Finnally, Sailor >Moon is ready!" Reno: We need to get a English teacher on this vessel, and fast! >Luna said "Too talk to soon, Sailor Moon!" Elena: (Luna) The Ratliff gas is coming right towards us!! >Luna was right. The monster get back on his fight. Rude: This is as exciting as playing Golden Nugget for the Playstation. Reno: Or playing Myst... Kali: HEY! Myst is pretty cool! Reno: Sorry... >"LET ME TRY! NEO-MERCURY SNOW ATTACK!" Elena: GENERIC PLANET ATTACK! Rude: (Neo-Mercury) (grumbles) Why couldn't it be something cool, like "Neo-Mercury Ice Geyser"? Or "Neo-Mercury Deep Freeze Surge"? But noooo, it has to be something cheesy like "Snow Attack... >The snow pilled and melt on the monster. The monster was weak and >melt into a two pills of dust. Reno: (Dr.Mario) Ah! At last! I have the pills to defeat those evil viruses. Kali: That was lame, Reno. Reno: It WAS NOT!!! >"Rats!", mubbles Rubbes as he transported Rude: (Jean Luc Picard) Picard to Riker. Five to beam up. >*************************************************************** Elena: That Snow Attack has finnaly got to us. >He was thinking of what to do to the Scouts as he was walking to >the control center. Reno: (Rubeus) Should I get the Spaghetti or the Pizza...hmmm. Ahh damnit! I'll just get them both. >"Bad News is that the Princess Emarld will not Rude: Enjoy the salad I made....never let C-ko in your kitchen. It's always fatal. >like this at all! >Good News is Kali: I manage to not let them into the world cup! >that I have three more try before kick off or killed >by there tratior... Elena: (Dark Voice) MR. ROGERS... [The others shiver] >they will hope will not have a Neo-Jutiper or >Neo-Venus. Kali: The hell? What did he say? THIS IS DRIVING ME INSANE!! > Ha Ha Ha Ha. Reno: That sounded like REEAALLLL trouble. Yep! >I going to send them triple trouble! Rude: The Sequel to a very bad Olsen Twin movie [Everyone shivers again] >Guarteed or your money back, Princess Emarld!" Elena: HUMOR! Don't you love it? Don't you just really miss it now? >************************************************************* >"Birdy is NEO-SCOUT too!". Serena yellow Rude: Where are the Senshi getting a tan? They are getting Sun-Poisoning! Kali: Maybe they didn't use any suntan lotion. >"Yes!" replied Ray. Elena: (Girl from Herbal Essence) YES!! YESS!! Reno: Your scaring me, Elena. >"What does NEO mean?" asked Serena >"Neo is a Japanese word that means......new...or junior. I don't >know must Japanese." said Amy. ALL: O_O Kali: Hell Wrong!! What the.... Rude: We have entered...the Thinker Zone.... Elena: AMI *IS* JAPANESE!!! >"Speak of Juinor. were Reeny?" Reno: I'm sorry, but Junior is a term referred to for a BOY! Rude: You ok, man? Reno: Yeah...just pissed. >A voice that sound like Serena is here. Kali: DO YOU....ahh hell, I'm not going to do the 'It's your life' joke now. >"Other here...Meatball head, you mom asked if you like to head >home and have some hair and poms." Elena: (Southern Accent) They're MIGHTTYYY tasty! >"What?" >"Meatballs and Spagittis!", laughs Reeny. Rude: THAT'S SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS!!! Oww...I need some asprin quick... >"I be home. >**************************************************** Elena: (Usagi) But it took fifteen miles in the snow!! >In side the heart of Serena. Lies Princess Serena, >the ex-Princess of the Moon Kindgom. Kali: Being flooded by all the blood cells and blood. >Look at the piturce of Reeny form Serena's eye >she remarks that "Look like she is about 9 instead >5 now!" Rude:(Princess Usagi) Maybe she fell in one of those chineese spring.... oh well, Usagi! WASTE HER!! >*************************************************** >THE END OF PART 3 Reno: Actually....PART 2!! Kali: [Energy around his body at a climax] GRR..... [Chrages it up] THATS IT! 'I'MSICKOFTHISSHIT' BLAST!!!! [And narrow beam hits the screen. While it it burning it up, the beam suddenly grows wider and blows the theater to smitherens!] Reno: [Getting up off the ground] WOW! That was cool! Rude: Have you ever met a girl named Yuffie? Elena: Let's get outta here FAST!! [The 4 exit the theater] [Door Sequence.... I shouldn't have to do it more than once] Rufus is already on the HectoScreen when they exit the theater, and he is quite mad. [Midgar 13] Rufus: What the **** did you do to my theater!?! [SOS] Kali: Oh...nothing.. just trashed it. [Midgar 13] Rufus: I knew this would happen, so I requested that my friend Dr.F give me a couple of devices to do that. [Goes over to a weird round object] My friends, this is the plot contrivence materia. I can resurrect dead villians, fix things that are broken, create a force field, AND make a god forsaken good pizza! [SOS] Elena: Like Ratliff Gas? [Midgar 13] Rufus: Yes... I guess. [Stands up, and does a wierd stance. The energy glows around him, and does something unexplainable] HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT PUNK!!?! [SOS] Rude: Very Nice, sir. [Midgar 13] Rufus: Oh, shut up. For destroying my earlier theater, though... you will now have to go through my new Surround Sound Test! MWHAHAHA! [Taps button] [SOS] Reno: Dangit! See what you did, Kali?? Kali: [Shrugs] You liked it before! [Commercial sign goes off] Reno: Never mind...We'll be right back...I guess.. [Goes to hit button] **************************************************************************** This is a test of the emergency moron system. For the next 60 seconds... you will stare at this screen. Ok.... Go. Time's up. If this was a actual emergency, you would have seen a small mushroom cloud where the idiot had been standing. **************************************************************************** __________________________TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 3_________________________ §--(Continue with your life off)--§ (Because this joke is getting old) Sailor Moon: Neo-Scouts Part 3 -MSTied Written by Dr.Thinker MSTied by John 'CrowBar' Hurst (MakoReno@aol.com) Let's continue on...shall we? Quickie C-ko Digital Sound was made by me. ____________________________________________________________________________ [The 4 enter the theater] Kali: A new sound test? It can't be that bad. Reno: That's what I have said about that fic. ____________________________________________________________________________ > C-KO DIGITAL SOUND Rude: NOT GOOD..... Elena: Danger, Will Robinson! Danger! >WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH >HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kali: My God!! [Holding ears] Reno: What? Kali: MY GOD!! Reno: What??? Kali: Ahh...never mind... Reno: What?? Kali: I'M NOT FALLING FOR THAT ONE! > The Audience is now deaf..... Elena: No shit, sherlock!! ____________________________________________________________________________ Reno: Please say you brought the asprin...please? Rude: We were out of advil, but I brought 4 bottles of Tylenol [Hands them the bottles] Reno: Thank god! [Starts chugging it down.] >Part 3 - Avery and Prisma become Neo-Scouts. And the arrive of >SAILOR NEO-MOON! Elena: Thank you for telling us the plot for this epidsode...can we leave? >*THINGS ARE GOING OUT OF CONTROL! JANE, STOP THIS CRAZY THING!" Kali: Hey, Rufus! He said to stop! Can we leave? Rufus: [On intercom] NO!! Kali: Damn. >**************************************************************** >INSIDE JOKES: NEO-TOKYO - CRYSTRAL TOKYO Reno: I don't get it... >Color purse - The Sailor Scouts and Dark Sisters have the same >color. >Cathy - Mars - Red >Avery - Venus - Yellow, Orange >Birdy - Merucury - Blue Kali: Yeah...uh huh.... [makes snoring sounds] >Primsa - Jutiper - Green. Elena: So...Prisma is a shrubber? Rude: (Knight) We are the Knights of NI!!! BRING US A SHRUBBERY! Reno: (King Arthur) What do you want with a shrubbery? Rude: (Ni Knight) Uhh... I dunno. It sounded cool. >Amy reply about Neo -- I do not know, Japanese. If you can found out what >it means..I will be please as plum pudding. Rude: So THAT explains the Ami I do not know Japaneese incident... Reno: But shouldn't he NOT say stuff like that IN the charecter? Rude: Details, Details... >Speak about Plumm pudding. I writing is revision one week >before Thanksgiving. Rufus: [On intercom] Lucky you... you've already read it [ALL sigh of relief] >Dr. Thinker sign off Elena: (AOL Voice) Goodbye. >SAILOR MOON NEO-SCOUTS PART 3 -- "Time for Double Teams!" Reno: [Laughs like Beavis] *WHACK* Ouch! Thanks Elena: No problem. >Reeny was walking clumzy right into Reno: Hey, the senshi have a new plan! Get her drunk and hope she walks into traffic! Over to the left! The left!! Kali: Or a Nav shooting... Elena: Someone is dark today. >to a back of guy with a green >jacket with a black shirt. Reno: She walked 'Into to a back'? Kali: Smile and Nod, Reno. >"Watch where you going, Flammagio Head!", a male voice ring out. Rude: Oh... I was worried what gender he was for a second. >"Cute, Darien, Cute!", Elena: (Rini) Very cute....may I kill you now? > laugh a female voice, > "but I will answer questions to Reeny or Serena Jr.!" Kali: [Gags] Serena...Jr.???? Rude: What the? She thinks she's a male or something? >"Serena Jr.?" asked Darrien. >"Yes.", Reeny. Reno: (Rini) You don't like it? Then shove it!! >Darrien faints Rude: Well, I would too if my daughter wanted to have the name 'Junior'. >***************************************************************** >"The Neo-Scouts getting Mercury back is the last straw." Elena: (Whoever) Aha!! I have finnaly found that pin! I told you I could find it in thirty years or less. >The >Wiseman saids to Rebbus. Elena: You know...if that is suppossed to be 'says'... I don't know what I would do... >"But Birdy is as not as smart as the Main Professer, >which if rumors are correct in the future.", Rebbus. Kali: Rumors correct...in the FUTURE??? Huh?? Reno: I think he meant if the rumors were fact in the future. Kali: Oh...but it IS still confusing. >With a still up-lip, Princess Emarlda, Elena: I thought it was Emerald all this time.... >reply "That is >Amy....Sailor Mercury. I have a recording of two dreams that will >we scare you stiff as a Nega-Brain over there." Reno: So Barney is a part of the Nega-Verse.... Rude: That would explain a lot. >"That impossible!" thunder Rebus madly. Elena: No one can go through THAT many cans of Jolt! Reno: Jolt!!!! [Chants] Jolt-Jolt-Jolt-Jolt..... Elena: Allright, here! You can have the can of Jolt [Throws it to Reno] Reno: YES!! [opens it up and takes a drink of it] >"Look who's talking!" thunder back Wiseman. Kali: It's Thunder in the WCW! Who will win? The devious WISEMAN vrs. The notorious Emeralda! >**************************************************************** Rude: (Forecaster) Tonight, on your way home, you will see light flurries of snow. But don't worry kiddies, that won't prevent the fanfics you are reading to end, >No doors and no windows were in the area, but they were Reno: Suffocating.... I hope [Sips the Jolt again] > three >seats..each one has person in it. Elena: Larry, Curly, and Moe. Rude: If the Nega-verse hired those three... I'm leaving!!! >The first person on the left is >the Wiseman, the second is Princess Emarlda, and third on this >Rebbus. Reno: They are in a theater? Kali: Hey! It's our job to riff the fanfic! What are you doing, you three!?! >"The first one is Birdy's dream last night." Elena:(Wiseman) It is rated triple 6, by the way >*************************************************************** Rude: But if your on the other side of town, prepare for a blizzard that will keep this fanfic still going. >A crystral-like tower appears..a sign appears...Rubbus reads it. >"The sign saids "Neo-Tokyo Unversity. The Best in Crystral Tokyo. >Our founder is Vice-Queen Amy." Elena: Uhhh... If it's the best in Crytal Tokyo...why is it in NEO-TOKYO? Reno: Calm down, Elena. It's a fic. Relax. >A voice sound filmars. Rebbus guess that is Birdly ALL: Tweet Tweet! >"This is place." Kali: (Birdy) Birdy talk like Shampoo now! >A female voice.."Please answer the questions. Rude: 1) What are you smoking? 2) Explain your dreams so 3 idiots on a ship in a fic will read them. 3) Sing Amazing Grace. >"OK!" Elena: (Birdy) I'll anwser your dumb questions! >"Name?" >"Birea. Birdy as a nickname." Reno: (Computer) Are you related to Tweety? >"Birea..not founded. Elena: (Computer) Self-Destrcution imminiet!! Warning! Warning! > Birdy founded." >"Apponitent with who?" Kali: (Birdy) Dr.Katz. >"Queen Amy?" Rude: (Computer) I'm sorry, they must be in the form of a statement. >"Not found!" Reno: BLOW UP, COMPUTER! BLOW UP THIS FIC!! [Jugs more of the jolt] >"Oh..I forget...a past name ring out." ALL: [Makes phone noises] Elena: I'll get that... must be a past name calling me. >"To error is human, to forgive is dinive!" laughs the computer. Kali: Last time I checked, computer's didn't laugh. Reno: Hey...it could be Ben Stein behind the computer. >"Queen Amirici, ex-Princess of Mercury." ALL: [Singing] HEYYYYY AMIRICI! >"Found." >"1:31" Rude: [Ponders for a second] Reno: I'm kind of wondering myself is he meant a bible verse or the time. >"Found. Enter Elevator 3" Elena: (Computer) Please note that this is the most direct route to heck. >***************************************************************** >"In about, 23 more years.... Kali: This fic will be used as a arsenal weapon against the Klingons... >the Nega-Moon will get it revenge on >the Scouts...unless you create protecters to help the Queen's >daughter." Reno: (Birdy) [Drinks more of the Jolt] No, Mr.Nameless one. I don't want to. >"Do I look like a fool?", asked a light blue hair women wearing a >white lab coat over a blue shirt and skirit. ALL: YES! YES! YES!! >"No. Amy. You procoss me to remind you every follow years until >3399.", replied a cat. Rude: (Nameless) When the flesh will be rotting off your face.. >"Thanks, Hercula." Elena: (Birdy) Yeah...thanks for nothing! >"No, problem" a shadow warrior, was girl.> Reno: Who's talking? Kali: Maybe it's the author. > Birdly comes in. worse...or have they?> she thought when she looked at Birdly Rude: Let's review... Birdy comes in, thinks, and the looks at herself without a mirror. Reno: WE GIVE UP, RUFUS!! Elena: Don't say that!! [slaps Reno] Reno: You're right. We ARE tougher than this fic. >"Hello. Birdly. I see that you get pass my computer above." Kali: (Whoever) And now it is falling on your head!! >"I guess any body here sound like a techinal genius like." Reno: (Worf) I'm sorry, but this sentence is impossible to decipher. >"Do you want to become Sailor Neo-Mercurcy?" Elena: (Birdy) Let me think..... does it involve money? >"No problemo, Amy. But that computer used a long name for you." Rude: (Ami) What name? Oh! You mean that computer virus that is eating my identity...how silly of me [Girlish laugh]. >"I found a book about the Scouts past...and the most shocked was >Queen Sereinty Sr., in the Sailor Skirits." Kali: [Gags] Reno: WE DID NOT NEED THAT IMAGE!! >"Can I look at the book?" >"Sure! Reno: (Ami) Don't turn to page 22 though...very nasty. >Meanwhile, I get Hercula for pretend to be the computer." Elena: Hercula! Wanted for impersonations and robbery! >***************************************************************** > > >"Don't tell me that Kali:(Whoever) ...we are out of KFC.... > Prisma and Avery are Neo-Scouts, too." "Then I will not." >Rebbus faints Elena: So... All of the dark sisters are Neo-Scouts, correct? Rude: Yep. Elena: What a strange plot controvience! >Wiseman thunders, "Get Rebbus up! And get the Dream going!" Reno: (Wiseman) And make it we.... *THWAP* Elena: Baka! >Rebbus is blast by a green ball. Rude: THE newest form of electro-shock-therepy. >"Thanks, what the next dream about?" >"The second dream fouces on Prisma and Avery." Reno: Ohh...... Elena: BAKA! [Whacks Reno before he says anything.] >*************************************************************** ALL: SNOWBALL FIGHT!! >A rain day in Crystral. Avery was unlock a door. Rude: Avery was a unlocked door? Elena: Smile and nod. > She comes to a >Crystral like room with different crystral everywhere. Kali: See... there's the Folger's, the JFG, The Columbian, the Maxwell... >"Did you try to preventend become one of Dark Moon sisters?" Elena: (Avery) Actually, it was fun being a dark moon sister... you got paid more. >"Yes, Avery, I've a become Sailor Jutiper. Jutiper did a rain >dance. " as Prisma walks in. ALL: [Imitating Native American Rain Dance sounds] Kali: (Avery) Oh look! The shurbs are growing! Wrong dance! >"So that why the rain. Meanwhile, I have Reno:(Avery) ....a way out of this fanfic Rude: (Jupiter) Really? Reno: (Avery)...No. > the last princess that >we know." Rude: They are taking hostages! Run!! >"So to make a long story short..you become Sailor Venus?" Elena: I didn't even know that there was a story..... >"Yup! Guess who are leader is?" Kali: Nav and HE's GOT A GUN!! Others: (Various Senshi) AHH!! RUN FOR IT!! >"Sailor Neo-Moon is Queen Serena's daughter?" >"Right!" Reno: Even Ami couldn't decipher this whole scene. >***************************************************************** >"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! ALL: OUR THOUGHTS EXACTLY! >Fail me >again..they get the rest of the Scouts...and I going to turn you >into Nega-Day's fest for me." Reno: Presenting Nega-Day at the field museum! Behead a fellow Nega-Versian, and play pin the tail on Queen Beryl! >"In humans terms, I'm road kill and you are the car." Kali: And I'm the steamroller that flattens this fic. >"CORRECT! NOW GET SAILOR MOON OR ONE OF NEO-SCOUT OR YOU >FINSIHED!" thunders the Wiseman. Elena: I think Dr.Thinker likes the word THUNDERS a lot Rude: Same here. >"Yes." Rebbus. "I do my self!" [Kali and Reno laugh hysterically, while the rest gags] Kali: Oh man.... that is sick [Continues laughing] Reno: You said it [falls on the ground laughing] Elena: [shakes her head] And he's proud of this. Reno: (Rebbus) Especially when I get myself the hand cream and-- Elena: [holds up a shiny orb] SILENCE!! A bunch of special effects happen and... Reno: [grabs his throat] ........ Elena: And I've got more materia from where THAT came from. >***************************************************************** >Rebbus appears at the temple. Rebbus look area. Reno: Reno looks at fic. Reno is bored. Reno laughed a lot at the last line. But Reno won't forgive fanifc. >The Scouts are >all together..even the Neo-Scouts and Prisma and Avery. Elena: Holding a drunken barn hoot-nanny Rude: (Ami, drunk) I reeealllly got to work on my re-re-por.....ahh hell forgot it. > thought >Rebbus. Kali: Actually, that is the dumbest move you can do. >A blast of dark energy was throw at them. Elena: Didn't Kunzite do that move? Reno: Details, Details.. >"YOW!" >"Rebbus! Look like it time for the finial touch!" Rude: (Scout) THE MAGIC TOUCH! >"MOON CRYSTRAL POWER!" >"MERCURY STAR POWER!" >"MARS STAR POWER!" >"JUTIPER STAR POWER!" Elena: SHRUBBERY GROWTH POWER! >"VENUS STAR POWER!" Reno and Rude: WONDER TWIN POWERS, ACTIVATE!!! [Nothing happens] Reno: Ahh man.... >"Stay uncover..you don't wait to thought we did three days ago. >"NEO-MARS POWER!" >"NEO-MERCURY POWER!" Kali: At least we know who is talking.... >"Get lose! Nega-Trash!" said Sailor Moon. Elena: Get...lose? Reno: Isn't one of the fanfic commandents 'THOU SHALT NOT USE DIFFERENT TENSES IN A ANOTHER TYPE OF TENSE LINE'? >"And don't you come back" said Sailor Mars and Sailor Neo-Scouts Rude: That was a fast little scene. Reno: What's on Comedy Central? >"Or will we have to.... "said Sailor Mercury, Sailor Venus, >Sailor Sailor Jutiper said. Elena: Sailor *Sailor* Jutiper? Reno: Well, yeah! A Magical Girl on the RMS Titanic that grows shrubberies. Rude: I wish this fanfic would sink right now. Kali: (The Jupiter Dude from All That) JUTIPER!! >Together they said, "Punish you in the name of the Moon!" Elena: It should be their planets. Kali: Even Uranus? *Snickers* Elena: HEY! That wasn't even funny! >"Get a life...Sailor Saps!" Reno: (Random Scout) This IS our life! >A firce battle begins. Rubbes dogde the Scouts attack and visa >virse. Elena: Visavirse! The new Visa card! >A unfalimir voice is hear. Rude: I don't wanna do the 'It's your life' jokes anymore. Reno: (Naoko Takeuchi) THOU SHALT NOT USE MY CREATIONS FOR CRAPPY FANFICS! Elena: He said unfamiliar... or something to that word. Reno: Oh, darn. >"Prima and Avery...transform. I fry him up with my weapon!" Kali: (WHOEVER) Ding! Foe's done! Who wants extra crispy? >"Our dreams...we are Sailor Neo-Jutiper and Sailor Neo-Venus!" Reno: (pick one of the above) In real life....we suck. >"NEO-VENUS POWER!" >Avery turns into Sailor Venus. >"Neo-Jutiper Power!" >Prisma turns into Sailor Jutiper. Elena: My my...such INTENSE scense! Wow! Where's the asprin? [Gugs the whole bottle of it] >"I'm cooked!" Kali: Wait, Wait! [Purple and red energy swirl around him] IT DIDN'T EVEN SHOW ACTION! I WANT DETAILS! I WANT DETAILS!! Elena: Calm down, Kali!! Kali: [The energy calms down] I'm fine, Elena. >"Yeah! NEO-JUTIPER LIGHTING ATTACK!" Rude: Oh sure....plagerize from the original attacks. >Rubbues laugh! Reno: (Reebus) I'm sorry. It's just that your moves are so much like the others, it's just too funny! >"Yeah, NEO-VENUS CRENSENT BEAM!" ALL: [Sung to the Mickey Mouse theme] P-L-A Reno: Aaaayyy... this fic bites! ALL: G-E-R Rude: Are you gonna finish those tylenol? ALL: I-Z-A-T-ion... Reno: Isn't 'ion' supposed to be spelled out? Elena: It wouldn't fit in the song. >The Cresent Beam miss the head of Rebbus, but ruins his hair. Kali: (Reebus) That's nothing rogaine won't fix! >"I have a VERY BAD day!" Elena: Yeah, we are too, so don't worry. >A rose appears. >"Huh? A pink rose? But the Moon Light Knight was part of >Darrien." Reno: MARY KAY IS ATTACKING! RUN!!! >"Anyone can do that. To success you have to access you power, >just like Queen Amy tell me! I the name of the future Moon in >will punish you!" Rude: oh...please do *WHACK!* oww!! Elena: Baka..... >"Uh oh! This can't be!" thunders Rebbus. Reno: IT'S IT'S... Monica Lewinski!! Others: [Shudder] >"Oh, yes! It can be!" thunders a voice Kali: As soon as I get out of here, I'm holding a fund for thesaurus' >A pink shadow appears. Reno: See? IT IS THE MARY KAY people! RUN FOR IT!! >"I have to get over that!" Elena: (Reebus) That bad gas.... I should have never had the Gordita. >Reeny appears in Sailor Skirit. Her body skirits is a bit long on >her and she has a taira Rude: Whats a Taira? Reno: Maybe it's a new type of rope...I'm not sure. >....the strange thing is that she was >wearing a pink locket that was excate like her locket. Kali: LIKE WHO'S LOCKET! ARGGG!!!! [The energy swells up again] AZILUKEN! [Kali fires a small blast of energy onto the screen. It burns a small hole that is immedently restored by Rufus' Materia] Aww..man! Elena: That's not a Japaneese word, either. Kali: I know...but it sounds cool! >"Time for a night-mare! NEO-MOON TAIRA MAGIC!" Elena: CHEESY UN-ORIGINAL RE-USED ATTACK! Rude:(Announcer) Yes, you too can enjoy the old moves restored with the word 'Neo' with it! Order now! >Rebus is hit in the arm. A flash of dark light appears.... Elena: And there was much rejoicing Others: [Sarcastic] Hooray. >Wiseman appears. Reno: Such EXCITEMENT! I ahven't been this excited since.... Kali: You can tone down your sarcasm you know. >"YOUR FOOL!" the Wiseman remarks. >"NOOOO!!!" Rebus said. Kali: Poor guy. The Wiseman's best tactic of killing is C-ko's food. Others: [Shudder] >"YOU GET THE NEO-SCOUTS TOGETHER AGAIN! THAT IS BAD! TRATIOER!" >said the Wiseman. Elena: Tratioer? Reno: Yeah... I think he's like the guy you Trade with... Elena: That's *TRADER* Reno: Oh...well, never mind... >"Nooo!!!" Rebus replied. Rude: (Rubeus) This reciept is not valid anymore! WHY GODS? WHY?!? >"Look like he give you a taste of your own medicine. Kali: (Rubeus) You have Allegra? >Do you want >to me heal you?" asked Reeny. Elena: (Rini) It will cost you... Reno: Elena?!? Elena: [Sweet Voice] Yes??? Reno: Never mind... >"Yes!" replied Rebus Rude: Rubeus is acting like the gal from Herbal Essance. >"Go head...my future mother!" Kali: (Rubeus) Don't mind if I do! [Makes slashing noises] >"Mother? She a teenager and your are an aldut?" remarks Rebus Rude: Whats a aldut? Reno: Maybe it's a term for Adult Slut *THWAP* Elena: SICKO! >"MOON CRYSTRAL HEALING ATTRAVE!" thunders Serena. Kali: Again with the thunders! ARGGGGHHHHH!!!! I will not blow up the theater. I will not blow up the theater....[Calms down] ok... >Rebbus changes. Rebus appears in a brown pants and brown shirt. Reno: So he's Mr.Roger's in disguise....how nice. >"Sorry about that." said Rebus Rude: Oh yeah...apoligies to the heroes >"Don't worry. It was the Nega-Verse!" Sailor Moon replied. Elena: (Senshi) But EVERYTHING is a Nega-Verse plot to you. Reno: (Sailor Moon) But I swore that the Oklahoma Bombing was a Nega-Verse plot... >"Speak of Nega-Verse. ALL: NEGA-VERSE >By the crystral of the Moon, where are we?" >asked Rebbus Rude: (Rubeus) Heheh...I made another funny! >"The 20th century and in Tokyo." replied Sailor Neo-Moon. >Rebbus faints. Kali: AND WHY IS EVERYONE FAINTING!??! GRR.... >*************************************************************** Elena: Oooooo....Pretty stars... >Later, inside the Temple. >"Spill the beans...Reeny and all of them!" thunder Serena. Reno: (Rini) Yes ma'am!! [Makes spilling noises] Rude: (Usagi) You forgot a couple [makes a farting sound] Elena: Eww....RUDE! >"OK...I am from the future. We have become the Neo-Scouts swear >to protected evil from the city of Crystral Tokyo. In the future, >I rule with help my mother, you, Queen Sereinty and King >Darrien." replied the youg woman Kali: Isn't Usagi supposed to MARRY Darien? YAHHHH! AZILUKEN! [Fires a shot into a couple of chairs.... As soon as the flames die down, the chairs are magically returned back to normal] Hey! That's kinda fun! >"Holy Smokes!" thunders Raye Hino. Elena: (Robin) Holy Lawsuit, Batman! >"I'm the Princess of the city!", Reeny remarks. Kali: I'm not going to rant anymore.... [Gugs some asprin down] Grr.... HOW CAN YOU BE A PRINCESS OF A CITY! THINK OF THE MOON! THE MOON!! GOD! >"Yeah! And I the Phantom of the Opera!", laughs a faimiar voice. Rude: I sense that Darien has came.... Reno: But wouldn't he need Serena for that? Elena: [holds up another shiny orb] KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND!! Reno: Wha?! NO!! [disappears] About half a minute passes... Elena: Three... two... Reno: [falls out of a portal and into his seat, cut up, bruised, frozen, fried and mutilated] ....ow. >Serena said, "When did you did not have any more nightmares?" Kali: WHAT NIGHTMARES??? GYAH!!!! >"Three days ago." Darrien replies Rude: I was right!! [Looks suddenly depressed] Aww...man! I knew I should have made a bet Reno: [Snickers] >"Sorry. But I fight that might keep Tudexo Mask out of my balls. >Sorry. Darrien." [ALL Laugh hystericaly] Kali: (Darrien) I'm sorry too. I don't think I could continue seeing you knowing that you have... Elena: [Stops laughing] No.. Kali: Come on....let me do it! Elena: No. Kali: Ahh....your no fun. >"Darrien, Serena Jr.! What happen to you mother." asked Darrien. Reno: (Rini) She's right here, dumbass! >"Trap in a Nega-Crystral. My father was hurt. He ask me to rule >the city until he get heal and she gets out." Rude: (Rini) seeing a starbucks stand, I quickly gave up the Moon Kingdom to the Negaverse for it...The End. >"May be will can help. With two Crystral will can break her >free." Reno: (Rini) Or a high-powered laser. Elena: (Random Senshi) Wouldn't that kill her? Reno: (Rini) Details, Details... >"You will have to travel the corriers of time rule on the planet >of Pluto. Ruled by a Queen Chora, a.k.a the Sailor Scouts of >Pluto!" Kali: Warning! Utter wrongness ahead! Rude: Wasn't like that a bad MMPR plot contrivence? >Rebbus asked "A Sailor Scout on Pluto?" >"Yes!" >Anybody faints... Rude: ESPECIALLY the readers of this fanfic! >expect Reeny who laughs Kali: (Rini) Haha! I told the Nega-Verse I could kill them! >THE END >********************************************************* ALL: HOORAY!! Reno: I want out, out, out!! [The 4 exit the theater] [Door Sequence] [SOS Bridge] [Elena, Rude, and Reno are sitting behind telephones. Kali is holding a microphone] Kali: Greetings! Welcome to the fund for needed Spell Checkers and Grammar ones too! I'm your host Kali Hokuten, and on the phones are Elena, Reno, and Rude. Turks: HI! Kali: We are here to discuss with you the horrors of writers who have a need for spell/grammar checkers and prehaps both! Let's take a look at our total [A big board comes out with a blanket on it. Kali pulls it off and is shocked at the total] Kali: 5 cents? Rude: That's our donations. Kali: Oh yeah. [A phone rings arounds Elena's section. She picks it up.] Elena: Hello? Man: Yeah... I want one large pepperoni pizza Elena: Uhh...Sir....this is the donations for Spell/Grammar checkers. [The man on the other line hangs up.] Kali: Allright people...that does it!! Now your going to pay for not giving us any money to help people like Thinker! Rude...tell them. Rude: Ok... We will repeat the phrase 'Out poops Sailor Mercury' until you go insane and/or give us money... we need Money NOW!! [The phones start ringing in and Reno and them get to work. The commercial sign flashes off] Kali: We'll be right back... [taps button] *************************************************************************** COMING SOON!! COMING SOON!! COMING SOON!! [Scene shows a pic of Kefkain and Dark Sonic combined] FROM THE GUYS WHO BROUGHT YOU THE AAA. [Scene shows Kintobar and Lord Thinker] AND THE MANY INTERLUDES BROUGHT BY THE FANS OF IT [The screen shows Vision and Felix] [Screen goes black] AAA 2- KING OF THE NET COMING SOON **************************************************************************** ________________PLEASE CONTINUE TO PART 3___________________________________ §--(Continue with your life off)--§ (And hey! Enjoy the Thinker fanfic!) Sailor Moon: Neo-Scouts Part 4- MSTied! Written by Dr.Thinker MSTied by John 'CrowBar' Hurst (MakoReno@aol.com) http://crowbar.cjb.net Let's continue on! ____________________________________________________________________________ [The 4 enter the theater, Rude holding some change] Kali: How much did we get, Rude? Rude: About 20 cents.. Kali: Damn! Here's a quarter..call someone who cares.. >Part 4 - Emarlda is going attack and dress up as Queen Serena of >Crystral Tokyo to keep the Neo-Scouts out of King Dimoand hair. Reno: Dimoand Hair? Sounds expensive... Rude: (Announcer) ORDER YOUR DIMOAND HAIR TODAY!! >Meanwhile the past Scouts, have to deal with Sailor Pluto. Who is >going to get to Queen Tokyo first....Neo or not Neo found out in Rude: Last time it was Queen Chora! What gives? Elena: There goes the plot.... >PART 4 - TRAVEL TO PLUTO Rude: (Pluto) Ruff! Woof! >*FASTEN YOU SELT BELTS IT GOING TO BE A BUMPY RIDE!!!!!!* Reno: You head him! Hold on!! [Everyone holds on to their streets] >INSIDE JOKES FROM PART 3 - CONUTINED : >"The food joke" - A references to Serena's hair do and Darrien >N/A nickname for her. Kali: As if we already didn't know that... but those were from part 2. >INSIDE JOKES FROM PART 4 : Kali: AND THIS *IS* PART FOUR!!! >"Look who's talking!" -- A famous quote..use for a three famous >comdey bombs...IMHO. Reno: (Commander) RELEASE THE COMEDY BOMBS!! Others: [Making bomb noises] >"Look like he give you a taste of your medicine." - Rebus called >the Dark Sister in the REAL MOON Verse. This unusally happens >before Sailor Scouts heal them. Elena: And reading this fic is unusual for us too. Rufus: [On Intercom] Oh? There's a LOT more where this came from. [Everyone shudders] >"HOLY SMOKES!" - A often quoted by Robin in the >live-action version of Bat-Man and Robin in the 60's. Kali: As popular as the sounds they make. Elena: Yeah...like this *BAP* *KAPOW!* *BOOM!* *ZAP* *TAKE THIS, SAP* Kali: Ouch! Elena, what was that for? Elena: I dunno. >"THE PHATOM OF OPERA" - Another person in a top hat and tudexo >but with a full mask. ALL: Well..DUH!! >"Sailor Pluto" - In the REAL MOON VERSE, when the Scouts try to >return Reeny back to the future, they meet up with Sailor Pluto. Rude: That means this fic should cause a Time Paradox..... [The others stare at each other] Kali: DO IT! DO THE TIME PARADOX!! >Speak of time. I think it is time for me to leave! SEE YA! ALL! Elena: Wow.... exclamatory Shatner talk! Reno: (Shatner on steriods) THIS! FEELS! GOOD! MAN! >Sailor Moon Neo-Scouts Part 4: Travel To Pluto Rude: Wouldn't the senshi die on the freezing planet? Reno: Yeah... KILL!! KILL!! Elena: [Holding Reno back] Calm down! >***************************************************************** Kali: Don't even count two stars from this fic.... >A group of five girls and a man were at the outside the temple. Reno: NOW THAT is too easy... even *I* wouldn't say that! >"This is the exact location, we transported to the Queen Beryl's >evil headquaters to save you and stop the evil." remark Sailor >Mercury. Elena: (Senshi) Yeah Yeah.. but we are not going to Beryl's Hideout! We are going to Pluto!! GET IT RIGHT! >"You think that we will get our memory erased again?", Sailor >Moon aksed Rude: (MIB Agent) Look at the flashy thing ma'am. [Imitates flashing sound] >"Doubt it big time!", replied Mercury. Kali: (Mercury) For me, anyway... I forgot to mention that, did I? >"WOWSER!" Jutiper, Venus, Mars and the cats, Luna and Artimis >replied. Reno: (Inspector Gadget) GO GO GADGET LAWSUIT! Elena: A big lawsuit at that. >"You can circle around anybody you want to take with you!", Luna >stated. Rude: (Random Senshi) I wanna take Fluffy, my stuffed elephant, my Volkswagon, my cat, my other dog, my.... >"Circle around Luna and Artimis. And hold hands!" remarks Sailor >Moon. ALL: [Singing] IN THE CIIRRRCLEE OF LIFE.... >The teams thunder Kali: ...is caused by Jupiter who accedently strikes everyone in the process. The End. Elena: You feeling dark, Kali? > the famous saying that took to the Nega-Verse >ruled by the villian queen called Beryl. Reno: Oh my God! They killed Kenny! Rude: You Bastards! >"SAILOR TRASPORT!" Kali: Trasport? Whats that? Rude: Maybe it's TRI-SPORT, like Bungee Jumping Hockey Polo. Reno: or Diving Basketball FootBall Elena: Or Snowboarding while parachutting and a dodge ball. >***************************************************************** >If any one was walking around the dark foggy ports of Tokyo. Rude: They would have seen Mr.Rogers duke it out with Barney. Elena: (Mr.Rogers) Can you say 'Barney sucks'? I knew you could.... > They >will not see shadow of 5 human womens. Elena: (Woman) Here's the plan...as soon as the Chinesse come by here, we hijack the boat and dump the rice! Rude: (Woman) But that was already done at the Boston Tea Party, except with tea. Elena: (Ditto) D'OH! Well...HIJACK IT ANYWAY!! >"Reeny ready?" asked a women with white hair. Reno: (Woman) Prepare the highlighters! >"Yes! I am Birdy" replied a pink hair women. Reno: (Woman) Wow! That was fast! >"This has been us by us yet." Reeny said Kali: (Kirk) We...need that...sentence...deciphered, Scotty. Elena: (Scotty) I CANNOT DEW IT KEPTAIN! It's impossible! Besides, the Moutain Dew machine is busted. >"Put you hair to >together and said the magic words, "Sailor Transport" with me. Elena: Hmmm... WHy are they gonna put there hair together? Reno: (Neo-Senshi) Oww! Oww! Rini, this plan sucks! Now I need rogaine! >Toghter they said the magic words off Rude: Apparently the magic words needed Duracell Ultras. >***************************************************************** >The surfure was a ice planet that look dead that a doorknok. Reno: Knock knock. Elena: Who's there? Reno: Ivanna. Elena: Ivanna who? Reno: I VANNA GET OUTTA THIS THEATER!! ARGH!! >The >surfure was for the old team landing area. Elena: (Usagi) Oh great, Mercury! You forgot it was frozen as hell and we needed oxygen to live. Rude: (Ami) Sorry, I can't remember everything! >"Look at the door. They look different." replied Moon. Kali: [Hoperful] And it turned out to be a door into Doom and have to fight a Cyberdemon. The Cyberdemon kicks their ass and goes off to live happily ever after. The End. Reno: What's on the Sci-fi channel? >"I think we she try this one." replied Mercury Reno: (Usagi) And I think we need to try and get some details!! >"A side P? OK" ALL: O_o Elena: What the hell is a side P? Reno: Maybe thats what they call a bathroom on Pluto *WHACK!* oww! Elena: Baka.... >*************************************************************** >The other scouts have chose to landed on the ancient roof. Elena: What anicient roof? Who? What? When? Where? Why? Huh? Reno: *Creeak CRASH!!* Rude: I hope that wasn't that big of a fall. Gotta watch out for those ancient roofs. >"Look down there...in it the old ones." remarks Sailor Neo-Venus. Rude: Must not....pass...out from no sense....senteces..... >"Pluto will not be kind..unless we get stick in a >battle.......Pluto hates battle on her home planet more than old >scouts...but I don't know why?" replies a confused Sailor Neo- >Moon. Kali: Beilive us....we are as confused as well. >***************************************************************** >Ice smashes. Reno: Onto a Senshi! > A scout in a Sailor Skirit wakes up. She walks over >to a small monitor. Elena: (Obviously Sailor Pluto) Ohh.... Hey! When did South Park come on? >"The computer must a lock on two travels. One walks down the >third power, which lands to the future of Tokyo. Rude: (Pluto) Hmm... Huh? Those arn't the Senshi! Those are the DIC Scouts! Screw them, I'm going back to sleep! > The other is >walking down a lot slowy in the limbo. Reno: A sailor scout is dying huh? Too bad.... >I don't want to dare the >stairs. Rude: Uhh.... [passes out] Kali: Hey! Rude! BALDY! [Still lying there] Oh great... >I think the one that does that are normal. Reno: Ugh....[Passes out as well] Kali: Reno? Oh crap... >But these one >in the limbo are in a shock." Elena: Must...not...pass out.... [passes out] Kali: DAMN! >She walks out and into the timehalls on from her ice bed room >while combing her green hair. Kali: (Pluto) I'm the guardian of time and STILL get bad hair days! >She is Queen Chrono a.k.a Sailor Pluto. Kali: And I am Kali Hokuten a.k.a Really Bored. > The guardian of Time. The >most powerful focus of energy that Queen Serenity had known >about. Kali: That was actually a readable sentence! [The Messaih chorus strikes up again] >***************************************************************** Turks: [All wake up] Elena: What happened? Reno: I think we passed out Elena: What? The Turks NEVER pass out! Kali: Well...you just did. >Meanwhile, on Nemis. Rude: Nemis? Reno: Nemisis...My head hurts too much to make a riff on that word. >"So both group are at the Tower on Pluto?" Elena: (Guy) No...actually they are at the Pizza Hut there. >"They see to be around the acient 19th century pluto area. Pluto >has been waked although she is going after one of them, Emarlda." ALL: OH.... Reno: So after the confusing paragraph earlier, they NOW give us the plot. NEO-TURK'S RAY! [Fires a ray onto the screen that only burns a small hole, then it restores itself] man! >"I going to disquese by self as the Neo-Sereinty and stop the >other, Wise Man, to them out of King D's hair Rude: What a incredible plot contrivence! Just make another WiseMan! >Before the Wiseman remember that Pluto hates battle on her >homeland then other planets. Emarld has leave the bulding. Elena: (Emeralda ala Elvis) Thank you very much! >"She is a good Nega-Nut" remark a male voice sound sweet and >suguray suprized only by the ex-little rabbit, Reeny. Kali: So Rini is ALSO a ex-rabbit? What is she? Sonya Sho Robotnik? Oh wait.. she turned into a hedgehog. >"Staffire, the King Dimanod's young brother." ALL: HI! >"Yes! I wish that Rebbus get the dark the Dark Sister." Reno: Dark the Dark Sister? Elena: (Wiseman) Now I want you to color the Dark Sister dark on this sheet of paper... Rude: (Stafire) But she IS dark. Elena: (Wiseman) Damnit! Do as I command! >"You may have to fight them." >"Oh great!" Staffire remarks Kali: (Stafire) I will finnaly get revenge on my bigger brother for the noogies, thw struggling, and more importantly, the IHOP incident! MWAHAHA! >Staff grim when he when hear the next couple words Reno: Screw you. Rude: Cable TV. Elena: The Turks! Kali: Couple of Words. >"One of them, if Princess E get her way." Elena: Huh? Reno: If you know what that just said...e-mail us. Rude: Who are you talking to? Reno: I dunno... >***************************************************************** >The area was big or small. Kali: (Dr.Thinker) I don't know....Just pick one! >Measure of space or time as no >meaning. Reno: Space- a vast region that... Elena: Shut up, Reno...you knew what he meant. >"Mars, what wrong?" Rude: (Rei) That prozac is kicking in. >"I feel the energy of a scouts of evil." Reno: (Rei)...but it could also be that Chili Dog... >"I think will in trouble." Kali: Dr.Thinker will be in trouble? You don't know how much! Elena: Uhh... no. Kali: Why? Elena: Because he is a good sport to have this work MSTied Kali: Oh... Thanks for breaking the 4th wall. Elena: Don't mention it. >They see a youg woman in a Sailor Skirit with a dark bow, dark >gloves. Rude: If O.J. Simpson was a lady, he would be this! > Her taira a black gem in it. Kali: Kefkain.... Blood Emerald... [Gets a enraged look on his face] [The Turks scoot as far away as possible from him] >Before any other person spoked. The woman pull out a staff that >look like nothing they have see before. It has three jewels >circle a cross on the games. Reno: I hope it didn't play *Games*.... > The ending was like a key. Rude: Oh! I guess we can go now! We know the ending! [Gets up to leave. Elena pulls him back] Elena: It was talking about the staff, Rude... >This is >Sailor Pluto's Time Key. Then she spoke like a girl robot. Elena: (Gal Robot) Welcome to Dollywood! >"Who dares to enter my tower. In the name of the moon, you will >leave!" ALL: OK! [All start to get up as by the Plot Contrivence Materia, a flash of Bolt3 hits all 4 of them] Rufus: [On intercom] GET BACK TO YOUR SEATS!! [The 4 do so] >"I am the Moon. Sailor Moon" ALL: [Hums the James Bond theme] >"Sailor Moon! Do you think a stupid!" Reno: uhh....Yeah... we all do, Sailor Moon. >********************************************************** >While the scouts trade lips and remarks bewteen them and Pluto. Elena: Uhh... Not to bug you or anything Dr.Thinker, but you need a few commas. Reno: Lips and Remarks....ughh..... >In another area. Neo-Moon meets up with Emarld in disquese. Rude: (Neo-Moon) Hi, Emeralda! Kali: (Emeralda) How did you know? Rude: (Neo-Moon) I read ahead! Duh! >"Hello, Neo-Moon. I here to bring you back." Elena: (Emeralda) TO YOUR *DOOM*! MWHAHAH!! >"Question...guess my true name?" asked Neo-Moon. >"Queen Reeny?" asked the queen Reno: (Neo-Moon) Well, you got it partailly correct... I'll go with you and let you kill me! >"Wrong. And in the name of the moon, I will punish you! Kali: Yes...they cannot stress enough that they are going to be punishing them in the name of the Moon. >***************************************************************** >"You staff does not look powerful!" Reno: (Pluto) Well, it has *other* purposes *WHAP!* oww! Elena: BAKA! >Soundly a sound is here. Rude: (Usagi) NO!!! NOOO!!! Elena: (Artemis) I thought he would never find me!! Rude and Elena: OSCAR??!?? >"What going on! The Time near the sufure are mostly weak as a ill >child." Reno: Well, Tylenol doesn't work that well on planets... >"Neo-Moon must be fighting!" Kali: (Pluto) How did you do that? Rude: (Whoever) I read above...nothing big. >"Princess Serena, the daughter of Queen Serena. I coming!" Elena: Cloning gone HORRIBlY wrong... >Pluto appears and appears with Neo-Scouts behind her a second >later. Reno: So she appears....but she appears Rude: Apparently.....yes! >"A fast hit and run!" Moon yelled out. Elena: (Nav) Oh yes it was...but it's coming again! HAHAHA!! >"Yeah. She is!" Neo-Moon replied. >"I going to reget is in the next millimenu, but I going to open >the sercert crystral door way to the city of Crystral Tokyo." Kali: WOW! Another plot contrivence! What will they think of next? >She hold her arms out and together and says "Pluto Dome Open!" Reno: That did NOT sound right. >As the Scouts and the Neo one enter, she cross the door. She will >guard it with her live until the old ones are ready from the >return home. Rude: Uhhh.....ok? What just happened Elena: No idea! > Elena: Who's saying that? Kali: Maybe it's Thinker. >The end for this part ALL: YES!!!! Reno: We are GONE! [All 4 exit theater] [Door Sequence] [SOS Bridge] [Scene shows Kali working on a little wristwatch thing, the teleporter, while Reno looks on.] Reno: You sure you won't stay man? We could use a guy like you in the Turks! Kali: Nah.. Plus, I've been wanting to see AAA2. [Fiddles with something and manages to get something to work] YES! It's working Reno: Whoa! Can you get us home too? Kali: I don't think so. The manual said only 1 person on it at a time.... Reno: Well, crap. [Elena and Rude come in from off the screen] Rude: Hey...did you guys know that there is a Arcade and Holoroom here? Reno: Really? Cool! Oh yeah, Kali is about to leave. Rude: Well [Pats Kali on the back] We'll miss ya. Elena: Yeah.. Kali: [Standing up] Hey, I'll come back guys. And besides, I'll try to get some help! Elena: [Change of mood] Really? Well then, get a move on it!! Move! Move!! Kali: Well, Bye! [Hits a button on the device and he is teleported somewhere over the rainbow.... Then....to break the mood, Rufus calls in.] Reno: Hey, Baldy. Dr. R is calling! [Rude taps the button grumbling something about redheads.] [Midgar 13] [Rufus is reading a book called 'How to rule the world' by Dr. Forrester. He puts the book down, seeing that his primates of experiments have anwsered his call. Also, he has not noticed Kali being gone.] Rufus: Hello, my monkey friends. I was just looking in this book on what to do while you guys are up here. Since I decided 'what the hell' and try to rule the world, I thought I should read up on what I should do. Hmmm... it says I need a assistance to send the fics, experiment with, and have push some button at the end. Let me try to bring my assistance using my new Plot Contrivence Materia. [Rufus stands up and does his weird sketch, only to bring up Heidegger] Heidegger: Ho Ho! What do you want me to do boss? I mean, I can be a great service to you! Rufus: You can start by shutting up and pressing that button over there. Heidegger: I can do more than that sir! I can make a little dance sketch too! [Heidegger starts doing a bad MC Hammer sketch while Micheal Jackson comes in and does the number with him....while Hanson sings 'MMMBop'.....talk about bad....] Rufus: Just press the button, Heidegger Heidegger: Yes, Sir! [Goes over to the pad and hits the button] See! I did it! [Continues his dance sketch..] Rufus: Oh crap.... ____________________________________________________________________________ [You hear Rufus yelling 'STOP IT!' Constantly during the credits] (Feels free to hum the Turks' Theme now) Well, What did you think? I managed to go throguh 4-parts of a Thinker fic in a row and stay sane! I'll day a couple days break from MSTing, then I'll be back with 4 more epidsodes of Neo-Scouts! Brought to you by Reno and the Turks!! Special Thanks to J-Boogie- He helped me with several ideas for this as well as several riffs ^_^. Heck, he even pre-read this! Everyone else at SVAM- For their comments and such. Dr.Thinker- For being such a good sport. [Note: The list of epidsodes are now being placed in my website! It takes up less room here now ()-).] _____________________________________________________________________________ >"Sorry. But I fight that might keep Tudexo Mask out of my balls. >Sorry. Darrien." July 17, 1998