§--(Turn off your life)--§ (Because the Turks are MSTing) Sailor Moon: Neo-Scouts Parts 5-8- MSTied! Written by Dr.Thinker MSTied by John 'CrowBar' Hurst MakoReno@aol.com http://crowbar.cjb.net Special Thanks to J-Boogie- Who gave me some riffs that were especially funny and pre-read it! Experiment No. 202 Hello and welcome to my 7th MSTing, and it continues with the Turk MSTing of NEO-SCOUTS! I've decided to stick with the Turks and such so here is another lovely part of the Dr.Thinker fic! Enjoy! Also, I may have some spelling errors, but nothing TOO serious ______________________________STUFF (Too lazy to write Disclaimer)__________ Sailor Moon is a part of Toei inc. And DiC. The Turks, Rufus, Heidegger, and etc. are owned by Squaresoft, Inc! This fanfic was written by Dr.Thinker. He has allowed me to MST this work, so you can neither flame me or him for this. This is merely a form of C&C. BTW, Dr.Thinker, please have a sense of humor when you read this ()-) ____________________________________________________________________________ CUE THE THEME! In the not to distant future, I'm not really sure when. Reno and the Turks went, On a Space Mission. But Rufus had a different plan, to trap them up there, man, And now the 3 are stuck up there, and they don't know what they are doing there. (Reno: HELLLPPPP USSS!!) (Rufus singing now) I'll send them stupid fanfics, the worst on this Earth, (La La La) They'll hafta sit and watch them all, and they'll want to be back on this turf. (La La La) (Return to original singers) Keep in mind they can't control, where the fanfic begins or ends. (La La La) And the only way to keep sanity, is to riff how bad fanfics can be... TURK ROLL CALL Cambot (We're live!) Elena (We must do this!) Rude (Don't call me baldy) REEENNNNOO (Allright, Baldy) If you are wondering how they got up there, without a descent rocket and other stuff. (La La La) Just repeat to yourself 'It's Just a show and It's really just fluff.' For Mystery Turkish Theater 3000 [Guitar Twang] ------------------------------------------------------------------------- [The scene pops up as the Satellite of Shinra's Arcade Room, in which Reno is blindfolded and Rude is sitting at a table with two drinks that are labeled 'A' and 'B'. Elena walks in as this is about to happen.] Elena: Hey guys! What's up? Rude: Oh, a test. Reno: [Takes a few sips from drink 'A']Hey! This is pretty good. Rude: We are trying to figure out which soda is better, Coke or Pepsi Elena: Oh. I was just looking around the ship. I found this little computer on the bridge and got it working. I mean, it has the net and everything! Reno: Wow! Cool! [Tastes Drink 'B'] MAN! THEY'RE BOTH GOOD!! Elena: Let me try. [Elena blindfolds herself and tries drink A] Reno... your right...this IS good. [She then tastes drink 'B'] Well...crap! They both taste great! [The commercial sign button goes off] Rude: Uhh... We'll be right back [He hits the button] **************************************************************************** [Commercial Scene shows a imaginary talk show with a Psychotic Host] Host: Good evening! I'm here to tell you how our psychic network works! All you do is call and we bill you! You get no free minutes, but everything they tell you is true! Watch and learn! [Scene shows a woman counting her cash on the chair] Woman: Whoops! [Hides cash] Uhh.... This network is so great! They knew everything about me! And all I told her was my *life* story. [Scene shows a man in a huge cast around his body] Man: MMPH MMPHMM MMPHH MMMPH! [Translation: This network really sucks!] [The caption says 'This network is the best! The scene switches back to the host] Host: So call 1-666-GO2-HELL now! Disclaimer Dude: [Voice Over] You pay $12,000 dollars per minute. [Fade to black] **************************************************************************** [The scene switches back to the SOS Arcade Room, where Reno and Elena have finally came onto a drink] Reno: [Rips off blindfold] Uh... I take drink B! Elena: [Does the Blindfold ripping off as well] I'll take A! Rude: Ok! Wanna know what A and B were? Elena and Reno: YEAH!! Rude: Ok! Uhh...... DAMMIT!! I forgot. [Elena and Reno collapses on the floor] Reno: Oh well.... I liked Jolt better. Elena: Same here. [The MADs light goes off, indicating that Rufus is calling] Rude: Hey! Get up, guys! Ginger Spice is calling! Elena: She quit the group.... Rude: Oh yeah... [The 3 walk on the bridge and answer Rufus' Beckoning] [Midgar 13] Rufus: Greetings, Turkeys! How are you today? [SOS Bridge] ALL: Good. [Midgar 13] Rufus: Great! Because I have something in store for you! Yessir! Check it out! It's my next step to ruling the world! [Rufus walks off and grabs Heidegger from off the screen. He looks normal except for he has a orange parka on his head] [SOS] Rude: What's with Kenny, sir? Elena: Heidegger? That parka DEFINITELY doesn't suit you. [Midgar 13] Heidegger: MMMPH! Rufus: Shut up, Heidegger. Now, you know how Kenny dies in every episode of South Park, right? Of course you do. I figured out Kenny's formula and now Heidegger is basically INVINCIBLE! Let me show you! [Grabs a knife and stabs Heidegger in the heart. He dies immedently.] [SOS] Reno: OH MY GOD!! THEY KILLED HEIDEGGER! Elena: YOU....well... I never liked him anyway. [Midgar 13] [Heidegger suddenly gets back up] Heidegger: MMMPHHHH!!! Rufus: Nasty, Heidegger The only problem though is that it also makes him talk pervertish, so I must keep him under the parka. WHat do you think? [SOS] Rude: Very nice, Sir. Reno: I see one problem with it though. You see, that Plot Contrivance Materia of yours ALREADY does that. And how does this go on to ruling the world? [Midgar 13] [Rufus slaps his head and fumes in anger] Rufus: Damn! Now I'll have to reverse the formula! Thank you! Now, for saying that to me, you will get another fanfic. Well, I was about to give you one anyway, but who cares! It is Neo-Scouts parts 5-8. And I know how much you boys like Dr.Thinker. Send them the Chinese water torture, Heidegger Heidegger: MMPH! [Goes over and presses the button. As soon as he presses the button, a big piece of metal falls on him.] [SOS] [Elena and Reno are gulping down Jolt while Rude is watching the screen go off.] Rude: Uhh...They killed him again. Elena: [Sipping the Jolt] Might as well... OH MY GOD.... [The klaxons go off] Reno: You said it Elena.... WE GOT THINKER SIGN!!! §§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§ [Door 6: It is a video tape of When Animals Attack. You watch it until the host himself is attacked and continue on.] [Door 5: It's Mally. You quietly walk by her, seeing she is watching Voyager.] [Door 4: It's a tornado. You lasso it like in the fairy tales and move it over to continue] [Door 3:It's Armageddon. You try to go by it and decide 'what the hell' and blow it up using several BFG 9000 blasts, a rail gun, and one nuke.] [Door 2: It's a Golden Hamdinger. You try to reach it, but it's out of your reach. You walk on.] [Door 1:It's a vault that swerves to the left as you continue.] §§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§ [The 3 enter there seats in the order of: Reno, Elena, Rude.] Rude: Do you think that Rufus has it in for us? Reno: Let me think....yes. >Part 5 -- Crystral Ville -- Emarld soul returns and become a mad >dragon. ALL: SHE'S GONE POSTAL! > Meanwhile Staffire is getting one the steam side and >become a mad dragon also. Reno: Someone pissed off Mr.Hat it seems like. > Not been left out, Moon get steam with >a King that is named Darrien. Elena: Why, thank you for kindly giving us the plot, so we can expect everything that is going to happen. Reno: (Serena) How dare he dump me just because I have a set of-- Elena: [holds up another shiny orb] Reno... does the word "Ultima" mean anything to you? Reno: [shuts up] >***************************************************************** >Inside jokes: >Merucury remarks: Queen Beryl is the first villian of Sailor Moon >series ever. Rude: Well, duh! We all know that! >Mars, Jutiper, Venus and the cats replied -- Elena: (Random person above) Please help us! > A famous clumsy >robotic dective know as Inspector Gadget used is remark for >anything like when you gadget don't work correctly. Reno: (Penny) Uncle Gadget! Why do you make us chase you? Rude: (Inspector Gadget) Because, I must do my duty! Reno: (Penny) But you can't do shit! Rude: (Gadget) Don't worry, Penny...it's good money. >"The old scouts are going to been the end of the me.> Reno: This *Story* is going to be the end of us. >- From "Who >is the Masked Man?". Elena: I guess the masked man is.... Undertaker! Reno: or maybe it's *THE* Mask. Rude: Or or Darien....but that wouldn't be fun, would it? >At the end, Tudexo Mask said this ALL: NANI!?! Reno: I thought it was Sailor Pluto. Rude: One of the many surprises of Dr.Thinker! Order now for $19.95 plus $3.95 shipping and handling. Elena: We've already done that joke to death, Rude Rude: But I like it! [Elena holds a materia labled 'Kjata'] Rude: I'll be good. >"Thesse Scouts are going to be the end of the me." Elena: You already explained that...please move on. >Forshadow, the >memories lost of the Scouts and himself at the end of Sailor >Moon...the BEGING. Rude: Oh! Well, that made....huh??? Reno: Elena? Get ready to Bahamut Zero this theater... Elena: But then we would kill ourselves. Reno: Crud.... >Sailor Moon: Neo-Scouts: Part 5 - "CRYSTRAL VILLE" Reno: Crystral Ville? I know Dr.Thinker is bad with spelling, so it may be a local Chrystler Sales place... >As the light of the time vanish, Rude: So did their minds, The End. > eleven shadow walks out on a >green grass hill out of a crystral city. Elena: I was *REALLY* worried about the color of the grass. Rude: Well, it could have been bluegrass. Elena: Bluegrass ISN'T BLUE GRASS! Rude: Oh yeah..... Reno: The Sailor Scouts were back... and they're pissed. Watch them take their jobs from the Neo Scouts in "Die you unoriginal idiots." Rude: Coming soon to an archive near you! >As the walk on the top of the hill. Reno: (Some person) Hello? Is this Sentence-Hotline? Elena: (Lady on Phone) Yes this is... Reno: (Person) I need details on the above sentence Elena: Ok...please hold. [Pretends to hang up] > One of the shadow slips. The >sun in her face, she is Serena...a.k.a Sailor Moon. Rude: (Serena) Excuse me? Mr.Writer? Could you get the sun out of my eyes? I'm blind enough! >"Ouch!", thunder Sailor Moon. Elena: Thunder. Once she starts acting like Zeus, throwing lightning all over the place, THEN I'll call her thunder >"Be quiet! I don't wan't the Nega-Verse, Reno: (Whiny Little Brat) I don't, don't DON'T!!! I want the *BLUE* one! I want it, I want it, I.. *THWACK!* Thanks, Elena. Elena: [Holding a mallet] No problem. Rude: You do a good impression of my nephew, Reno! [Chuckles] Reno: [Pretty mad by now] Grr.... > that both Scouts have >team up." Rude: ...to play against the Harlem Globetrotters. Elena: Gee....wonder who will win? Reno: The Senshi would probably be paid to lose...like every other team. >"BOTH OF YOU ZIPPED UP!" thunder Sailor Neo-Moon. Elena: (Serena) *ZIP!* MMPH MMPH MMMMPH!! Rude: (Neo-moon) Yeah! How do you like my new attack? The "Moon Winzip Compressor?" >"NOW! Old >timers go with Serena. Reno: WHOA! Serena is a TEEN! She is not old! Rude: Maybe Sailor Pluto changed that when they went through the portal.. >I will follow you on top of the hill. Elena: (Cowboy) She's a tough hill, that Bessy. But if you can ride her, she's yours. >Until, we get the Crystral Tokyo." Reno: Whats happening? I thoguht they were IN Crystal Tokyo! I didn't know there was a item. Rude, do you have the aspirin. Rude: Sorry, we lost all our aspirin in the last part. Reno: Damn! >"Suit me." Sailor Moon quietly as she gets up at the bottom of >the hill. Reno: She gets up at the....bottom of the hill. Rude: One of the many....[Turns to look at Elena] Elena: You better not. Kjata is still in my hands. Rude: Ok. >************************************************************** Reno: We need a snowblower for the snow. Rude: We need one for the entire fic. >"WHAT ARE THOSE PEOPLE ON THE BOTTOM OF PEACE HILL!" Elena: Oh that? That's just the Peace Corps, nothing much. > thunder a >white man in a white tudexo. Reno: Meet the impersonators of Tuxedo Kamen! Check your local listings. >He had a black upside-moon mark. Elena: Rightside up? Reno: Upside down? Rude: Is it going around and around? All: (singing) Now swing your moon signs dosie-do, cause Dr. Thinker's grammar hits for a big blow... As it shoves itself into your brain, it will turn you eventually insane... > He >is Prince Dimanod of the Nega-Moon (a.k.a Nemis). Rude: The horribly deformed brother of Prince Diamond. > To the right is >the Princess Emarlda and to the left is his Reno: Slave girl... *WHACK!* Elena: Baka! > right hand man, the >Wiseman. Rude: (Diamond) Tell me, Wiseman. Why do they put hotdogs in packages or eight and buns in 10? Reno: (Wiseman) Uhh....I don't know! I don't!! ARGHHH!! Rude: (Diamond) Your fired! Next! >"These Scouts have stop us in the past!" ALL: DUH! Elena: (Diamond) I already knew that! >"Great, Wiseman! Was Rebbus healed too?" >"Yes, my love. He was." ALL: ARGGGGGGGHHH!! Elena: What the hell? Reno: THAT IS SICK!!! SICK! EVEN FOR ME!! Rude: Calm down, Reno. >"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!" Rude: See? He shares our thoughts! >"THAT SCOUTS LOOK FAILIMAR TO ME!" Reno: Maybe it's because you fought them so many times...I dunno. >"THAT CAN THE QUEEN AS A TEENAGE!" Rude: The teenager is a can? Elena: Buy your Teenager in a can! It costs less and is refreshing! >"IMPOSSIBLE! THAT CAN'T BE, WISEMAN!" >"HMMMPHH!!" Elena: (Wiseman) You didn't like my tuna casserole, so I'm not telling you! >***************************************************************** >Meanwhile, all of the Scouts have reach the place. Rude: (Random Scout) Where are we? Reno: (Another Random Scout) Fanfiction-Limbo. Rude: (Ditto) Oh... >"This place is totally full with the Power of Good.", Sailor Mars >remark. Rude: But then Nav comes along and roasts them...The End. Elena: How's the Dark Side, Rude? Rude: Good. >"Thank you, Mrs. Old Timer.", thunders Serena. Elena: Do you think Dr.Thinker likes the word THUNDERS? >"STOP FIGHTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" thunder a voice. Reno: Yes, Elena. Very much so. Rude: And exclamation points as well. >A person with a blue tudexo and a blue cape appear. Rude: It is Tuxedo Kamen day at the National Museum! >He look a bit >depressed. Reno: (Blue Guy) All I wanted was a Hanson tape.... > He look at Tudexo Mask. He look at the Scouts. Then >back to Tudexo Mask. Elena: This is EXCITING! This is more TENSE than the scenes from a fic I know called Black Day. This is TOO exciting! Rude: Tone down the sarcasm please, Elena. >Finnailly, he look at the Sailor Neo-Moon, >and Sailor Moon. Reno: (Blue Guy in a Geeky voice) I Don't like you. >"Who is this nut?" asked Raye. ALL: [singing] Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. >The voice was like that of Darrien. "I'm King Darrien, of >Crystral Tokyo." Reno: Well, of course his voice is like Darrien. HE JUST SAID HIS NAME!! NEO-TURK RAY!! [Fires a ray onto the screen, but it bounces off and lands right beside Rude] Rude: [Scared] Uhh...Uhh....Don't do that again, Reno. >"Hello, Daddy.", said Sailor Neo-Moon. Rude: (Neo-Moon) I brought some people for you to kil....err meet! >"Weclome home, my daughter." >"Who is the mother and your wife?" Elena: And who is saying this? God, this is confusing! Reno: My wife is NOT my mother! My name isn't Oedipus Rex! >"Your future self, Sailor Moon." Reno: WAIT! WAIT!! This would cause a time paradox! Rude: That's if they touch each other... *WHACK!* I didn't mean it that way! I meant like in Timecop! Elena: You had better not! >"No wonder, that she had the meatballs", Sailor Jutiper said. Rude: (Future Serena) Ack....don't try...the...pasta. [Pretends to faint] >"WHAT YEAR? WHAT TIME? WHAT YEAR?" Reno: She keeps on repeating, and repeating, and repeating... >Not making a remark to Mars question, King Darrien ask "Any other >question?" Elena:(Random Senshi) Yeah! Can we get out of this fic? Reno: (Future Darien) No. Elena: (Senshi) Damn! >"I fought we have defeat the Nega-Verse, why Nega-Tree and Nega- >Moon." Rude: AHH!! More plot contrivances! Nega-Moon, Nega-Tree, what's next? Nega-Youma? Nega-Kick-your-butt? AHHH!! Elena; Calm down, Rude. Rude: I'm fine.... I need some aspirin really bad though. Reno: We all do, my friend. >"There are more Nega-Verses than you can shake a wand at. Elena: How much you want to be that this is one of the inside jokes? Rude: 10 bucks. Elena: Your on! >Queen >Beryl's was a new universial. Reno: You mean the Nega-Verse was only the beginning and there are thousands of them? What a amazing plot contrivance! >Those Alien of the tree were just >misused. Elena: (Alien) *Sniff*... I was misused! They told me I would be good as a soldier, but nooo.... >This time and later battle in the past, you have a tough >time. Guarteened!" Rude: Or your money back in 30 days! We'll even pay the postage! >***************************************************************** >"I have a idea.", thunder a voice like that of a Dragon in green >skin. Elena: Uhh... I don't think we can tell what color skin they have by their voice. Rude: And it's *thundering* also.... >"What happen to you, Staffire?", asked Emarlda nervoulous. Reno: (Stafire the Dragon) Listen, this is what happens when you play too much Advanced Dungeons and Dragons, ok? >"I have turn myself into a dark dragon, if you don't want to get >heal by the cursed crystral of the Moon. Rude: Reno? Reno: Yes? Rude: The plot contrivances are enough. Could you kill me? Reno: No. Rude: Why? Reno: I then wouldn't have anyone to call Baldy. Rude: Oh....HEY!! >I sugust you do the >same." >"How?" asked Emarlda. Elena: (Stafire) Oh, just ask Dr.Thinker! He'll do it for you. >"Since, mad thought about the Moon. Reno: What's so bad about the moon? Rude: Yeah, I mean, it's pretty cool! Elena: Well, the words Golbez come to mind. Reno: Besides that, though. Elena: And the dungeons and all the monsters. Rude: Come to think of it, the moon sucks. Reno: Yeah. >"GOOD IDEA!" >After, a few mad words about Nega-Moon failures, Rude: In which were censored by the ESRB. >the Wiseman, >Crystral Tokyo, Sailor Scouts, and the heal ladies. Elena: And somehow it didn't work and made her even more pissed off. Rude: Either that, or it failed drastically and turned her into PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON. > She has >become a red dragon. Reno: Just like that? Poof? Rude: Welcome to the wubbulous world of Dr.Thinker. Elena: Rufus... Cloud and his friends... Hojo walking in on me in the shower... grr... hey! It's not working! Why aren't I turning into a dragon?! Rude: Because you don't have the supreme power of the plot contrivance. >"Quess, Elena: Nani? Huh? What is that word? >I just become to mad." Rude: Well, you're a dragon, aren't you??? >"You stick us drestoryed!" Reno: (Kirk) Someone...please...decipher...the sentence. Rude: (Bones) Dammit, Jim! I'm a doctor, not Dr.Thinker! >"Let's go, Staffire!" >"OK, Emarlda!" Elena: (Stafire) I will follow you meekly as if I'm a extra. >***************************************************************** >A while later, in the royal chamber of the the place of Crystral >Tokyo. ALL: [Hums the British Royal Music] >"What cooking?", asked Serena nosing the air Reno: How do you 'Nose the air'? Rude: (Frenchman) I turn my nose up at you, filthy peg dogs! >"Crystral Tokyo" thunder a computer. "Two dragons are attack!" Reno: And they are *thundering* while the attacks are also *thundering* >"Let's go!" >"Time for some Nega-Dusting" Elena: (Kasumi) Oh my! Look at this Nega-dust! >"Ugh" Mars mubbled. Reno: It's mubbles again! Rude: (A old Rei) Back in my day, many fanfic writers OOCied us! >***************************************************************** Elena: Maybe it's not a scene change, maybe it's profanity.... Reno: Oh-ho!! Well ***** and ***** ya ***** **** ****** and your ******* as well ya damnable ***** ****** *** **** ***** and a ***** to boot as well! Rude: WHOA!! CALM DOWN!! Reno: and **** you and ***** you and I'm gonna kick your *** too! Elena: [Whacks Reno] Reno: Thanks. I needed that. >"Who is willing to fight us first?" Rude: (Classrom Kid) Mememememememe! >"I am Emarlda, ex-Princess of the Nega-Moon." said the red >dragon. Reno: (Emeralda) I can hurt you really really bad! >"I am Staffire, ex-brother to the Prince of the Nega-Moon.", said >the green dragon. ALL: And we are the Turks, ex-members of Shinra. Elena: I guess that's correct, since Rufus trapped us up here. >"Talk about Double-Trouble!" Reno: Isn't that a very bad Olsen Twin movie? >"Rember, the Geminus, Nephrite had for us." ALL: WHAT??? Rude: What did it just say? Elena: I don't know... I need aspirin.... >"Yeah, but these guy sound so thought. But to make sure, the >future and the past are self. We will have to punish them in the >name of the Moon." Reno: Yeah... uh huh...Moon...got it. [Makes snoring sounds] >"Correct. Moon Magic Taira!" Rude: (Cooking show host) And you can scramble the letters and words to try and make different moves, but it will be just the same. >Fighting become outranges. Elena: Those Snipers must be in a bad spot... > Jutiper and Venus were must using legs >and arms again the dragons. Reno: O...Kay. That was sick, yet delightful. Elena: THAT'S IT! [Holds out materia] KJATA!! Reno: Crap! No... [Disappeers] >Meanwhile, Merucy and the others use >a lot of power. Rude: [Snickers] Elena: You deserve a present. Rude: Really? Elena: Yes! [Holds out another materia] BAHAMUT!! Rude: NO!!! [Disapeers] [Reno suddenly comes back, frozen, burnt, shaken, stirred, and electrified] Reno: Oww.... [gets back in his seat] Hey! Where's Rude? [Rude flies out of nowhere, flared] Rude: Ouchie! [Gets back into seat] Elena: You guys deserved it! >"YOU ARE DUSTED, NOW MOON SCEPTER ELLIMATION!" Reno: Ellimation? Elena: Yeah... Animation by a gal named Elli! Reno: That was lame... Elena: Do you want to meet Alexander? Reno: (Meekly) No. > thunder Sailor >Moon. Rude: Thunder Sailor Moon? Sure! [Makes thunder clashing noises] >"The two dragon fade out and into the dust of a normal monster of >the Nega-Verse." Reno: (Sailor Moon) Where shall we put the ashes? Elena: (Sailor Neo-Moon) How about we donate it to some cigarette company as a sick joke. Reno: (Sailor Moon) Ok! >***************************************************************** Rude: [Singing] Deck the halls with bows of Thinker fics... Others: [singing] AH-AH-AH-AH-AHHHHH AH-AH-AH-AHHHH!! >Meanwhile, in the gardan area of the Palace. A person in a green >block as a thought. Reno: So he's a green block, but he is a thought? Weird >Nega-Verse.> ALL: NANI?!? Elena: The Past and the Future are a team...but the future is the heroes? This Bites! We are OUTTA HERE!! [The 3 exit the theater] §§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§ [Door 1:It's a vault that swirves to the right as you continue.] [Door 2: It's a Golden Hamdinger. You try to reach it this time and get called off by a alarm. You run quickly.] [Door 3:It's a huge hole. You run through it.] [Door 4: It's a tornado. You forget about it and suddenly is thrown by the tornado.] [Door 5-6: You fly by them, wrecking Mally's TV show and wrecking another TV in the process] §§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§ [SOS Bridge - Rude and Elena are gulping down Extra Strength Advil while Reno is fooling around with the computer on the bridge.] Reno: Hey! AOL is not so bad! Why do they say so? [A sudden flash occurs and Reno is kicked offline] Reno: Never mind. STUPID AOL!! Elena: [Walking over to the PC] So...what happened. Reno: It said 'No Carrier'. Elena: Oh... it will do that every 15 minutes. Reno: Oh yeah. [Looks over to where the printer is a hands a sheet to Elena] Someone sent us e-mail. Elena: Why would anyone do that? Reno: Well, it wasn't Junk Mail, so I printed it out. Hey Rude! Check this out. Rude: [Walking towards them] That aspirin is gooodd... [passes out]. Elena: He had 3 bottles of asprin. I only had 1, so that could explain it. Can I read it? Reno: Sure! [Hands the letter to Elena.] Elena: Ok.... Lets see: -- Reply-to: winkstwo@sssnet.com Good work, Turks. I like your work. I hope one of you might contine doing turn bad fan-fiction into good story. I don't need promission to use my story. I used to them getting ripped apart by very funny lines. Even I did some MiSTing of bad story. Having a funny time. Oh, my the way, I hope you don't placing some of your stuff on Shinji's Vault of Anime MiSTing. He need all the help he can get. Sign Dr. Thinker *Friend of Dr. Forrester* -- Reno: That's cool! Even Thinker is commenting on the MSTing! Elena: Thanks Thinker for the E-mail. While we have no other choice to watch this stuff, it's good to know that people like what we are doing! Reno: How did they know this anyway? Elena: You know that Shinji's Vault of Anime MiSTings? Reno: Yeah? Elena: Rufus' posting our MSTings on there by the name of 'CrowBar' or something. Oh and... If you want comments, Reno made the screen name 'MakoReno@aol.com' for comments! [Rude is finnaly waking up] Rude: Oww....what happened? Elena: You passed out on the aspirin. Rude: Oh.... [Reno signs back online and is immedently cut off again] Reno: DAMN! [Commecial Lights go off] Elena: We'll be right back [Hits light] *************************************************************************** [Scene shows The People Court Scene in the background] Judge: Tonight on the peoples court, The Ultimate Case Begins. Oscar, a hermaphodite with interest in Artemis, a talking male cat. Artemis says Oscar raped him. Tonight, the ruling of a lifetime. Artemis sued Oscar. Will he get the money? Tonight right here at 11:00 P.M. ************************************************************************** _________________________CONTINUE TO PART 6 PLEASE________________________ §--(Continue with your life off)--§ (And if you even think Yuffie is related to Jenova....) Sailor Moon: Neo Scouts Part 6 Written by Dr.Thinker MSTied by John 'CrowBar' Hurst MakoReno@aol.com http://crowbar.cjb.net/ Let's continue! ____________________________________________________________________________ [The 3 enter their usual seats, Rude straggling behind.] Rude: Ohh... Elena: 3 Bottles of aspirin, Rude? What the hell were you thinking? Rude: How much the pain, the suffering has came by... >Part 6 - The Wiseman Ending!!!!!! Elena: (Wiseman) I STILL don't know why they place hotdogs in packages of 8 and buns in 10! ARGGHHH!! >The ending to the trouble series. Rude: Oh...it's trouble allright. > The fight again Prince Dimanod >and Wiseman. And the Princess Serena and Queen Serena fight out >the Wiseman. Reno: [Snickers] Elena: Reno... I have a friend here named 'CONTAIN' Reno: [stops] >*************************************************************** >INSIDE JOKE: >Part 2 - Ice-Cream-Monster and the remark of "Frosty?" Elena: Nah... I prefer regular Gatorade compared to Frost > from Caty >- From "Mercury Moving On?" - "This esopie had a monster that was >cold as ice. Reno: Hey! We got a insight on the Esopie! It must be a liquid nitrogen gun! >She had the other until Merucry show up!" Rude: (Random Senshi) MERCURY'S RISING! RUN!!! >Part 5: "WHAT YEAR? WHAT MONTH? WHAT DAY?" Elena: I would tell you, but that would cause a time paradox. > , the remark my Mars Rude: My Mars? Is that a new doll? Elena: She comes with flammable skirts and clothes! Reno: Brought to you by Thinker, Inc. ALL: [Singing in some stupid commercial tone] MY MARRSS!! >in the Japanese series when she learn that Moon was the Queen of >Crystral Tokyo. Reno: It's more like the moon really.... Rude: I think thats the last of the inside jokes... I got 10 dollars! Elena: Fine! Here it is! [Takes it out of her pocket and hands it to Rude.] >See ya in the future. Rude: Can you think of any good 'goodbye' jokes? Elena: Nope Reno: Not at all. Rude: Thought so. >SAILOR MOON: NEO-SCOUTS: PART 6 - THE WISEMAN ENDING! Reno: (General from Mars Attacks) KILL! KILL! KILL! *WHACK!* ouch. Elena: Stop doing that riff! It's old! >"Bad Luck!" thunder a pink and a yellow hair girl in sailor >Scouts at the same time. ALL: NANI!?! Rude: One sentence in the story and I'm already wondering who, what, when, where, and why. >A voice thunder ALL: [Makes thunder clashing sounds] Elena: Thats getting old too. >"Can't save your future! Ha Ha Ha Ha!" Reno: Sounds like Ben Stein is the dubber for whoever said that. >"Who are you?" Rude: I'm Batman! Well...ok, just a cheap impostor, but... >"I'm Prince Dimanod!" Reno: Uh... didn't Thinker say it was a pink and yellow hair girl... but this is a prince... when does the hurting stop... >"Uh-uh!" Elena: Well, THAT didn't sound right... >"Give up!" Rude: 10 bucks say that Sailor Moon will say no Reno: No way! You know the answer. >"NO!" Sailor Moon and Sailor Moon. Elena: Uhh... I know they are in the future and everything, but it wouldn't hurt to have which is which... Reno: Since when did you nit-pick? Elena: Since I got asprin. >A fight begins. Rude: (Some dude, Monotoned) Wow....intense. >Prince Diammond dogde graceful all weapon at the >start Elena: Well... I've heard worse starts to a fight. Reno: What do you mean? Elena: Oscar did INTENSE BLOCKING ACTION [Voice echoes] Where DOES that echo come from? >..but as Moons' taira are toss in the great hall. He get >weaking and weaking. Rude: (Mechanic) Ok, let's see. Your evil generals sparks are shot, the breaks don't work, and it keeps getting weaker and weaker. >"Uh-uh! I give up! Force of the Nega-Verse. Drestory me!" Reno: (Darth Vader) All too easy [Makes slashing noises] Rude: [laughs] Prince Dimand... dimaond... whatever... is a weakwilled weenie!! You're supposed to go down fighting! Elena: [Snickers] Yeah! I mean YOU SUCK, Mr.Diamond! >"With pleasure" thunder a black hood fiqure. Elena: Kenny decided to play the one who kills for a change. Reno: Go Kenny! >"You fool have not heard of me yet. I'm the Wiseman of the Nega- >Moon." Rude: (Random Senshi) But what about the hot dog question? Reno: (Wiseman) Umm...Err... Check out my website! >************************************************************** >Later, at the dinning table. Reno: (Lita) You know, Pepallipesto (Spelling?) is pretty good when it's fresh... Elena: (Serena) Shut up about the damn macaroni, Lita! >"So, you meet the last villian" >"Yes! Mars." Rude: Mars is the last villan? Elena: Her scuffles with Serena has gone too far >"And his name is the Wiseman?" Elena:(Serena) Actually, it's the Happy-Go-Lucky Turtle, but I guess he can be called that. >"Yes" Reno: (Zombie) Yessss........braaiinnnss... >"This can be trouble!" ALL: Oh, you think? >"BIG TIME!" Rude: (Lita) Probably not bigger than Godzilla.... I mean I beat Godzilla without any help from you guys! You just sat and screamed and Serena probably wet herself! Reno: (Serena) I did NOT wet myself! I was spending time lic-- er, I mean spending time with my muffin! Elena: [holds up another shiny orb] I call upon the power of the unknown materia... BOOT TO THE HEAD!! (Jackie Chan phases into reality, jump kicks Reno upside the head a couple of times and phases out) Reno: OWW!! Elena: Serves you right... >************************************************************* Reno: I'm sick of stars. As soon as I get out of here, I'm finding some ASCII art of a sleigh. >"It time for me to drestory them! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!" laughs >the Wiseman. Elena: Laughter in a can. The newest piece of work from Thinker Inc. Reno: (Wiseman) I'm so evil....I'm GENERIC! HAHAHA! >*************************************************************** Rude: What? You mean he did a separate scene for once sentence. Elena: The worlds shortest scene! Reno: I've seen worse. Elena: Like what? Reno: Black Day comes to mind... >Dark clouds....dark sky. Reno: And speaking of Black Day... Rude: (Announcer) It is a sad day, indeed. Oscar died because of loss of blood from several claw marks...Ahh.. WHO AM I KIDDING? PAR-TAY!!! Elena and Rude: (Random Senshi) YAHOO! YIPPIE!!! >"Look like that Nega-Joker is going to attack!" Elena: (Whoever) You'll have to take my word for it. Our budgets cut into our Name, Pronoun, and scene salary. >"Hello, again!" ALL: Hi. >"That the Wiseman!" >"I going to defeat you!" Rude: (Sarcastic) Wow! That's awesome! I never heard a line such as that before I... Elena: Do I have to *Contain* your sarcasm Rude: (Meekly) No. >"In your dreams, Nega-Mouth!" Reno: (Usagi?) I'm a licensed dentist!! >"Get ready for a nightmare!" Elena: Too late...we already have nightmares about this. >In flash, the Scouts expect for Sailor Moon and her future >daughter." ALL: NANI?!? Reno: (Picard) Captains Log.... No. 562- I lost my toupee and I can't understand this fic. >Both said crying "MOON CRYSTRAL POWER! Again!" ALL: ASPIRIN NEEDING POWER! AGAIN! >The Wiseman cover his eyes thunder "YOU CAN'T SAY THAT ONLY >ONCE!" Rude: (Wiseman) It's not fair! WAHHH!! Reno: ....But you only live twice [Elena Starts humming the James Bond theme] >(CM) Rude: Let's see.... Crack Mouth? Reno: Cereal Massacre? Elena: City Mouse? Rude: CrowBar's Mouth? Elena: Don't try to break the fourth wall now, Rude. >***************************************************************** >On Pluto, a light slip in from the outside on to Pluto checks. Elena: Thats....nice. NEXT!! Reno: You mean... Rude: Don't say it! >**************************************************************** Rude: Uhh... I think the scene record was just broken... >In the Past, the light shine in eyes of the cats, Luna and >Artimis. Reno: (Luna) How did you get rid of Oscar? Rude: (Artemis) I told him Bret Hart needed saving from off the Grand Canyon! He's that dumb! >Artimis sign to Luna Reno: A Sailor V Sign? A Garage Sale sign? WHAT? WHAT!!? Elena: It's ok Reno. I have some Advil left over. Reno: YES! [Grabs the aspirin and gugs it down] Rude: [tries to do sign language, but only gets his fingers tangled together] Uh, little help? Elena: I would...I just don't feel like it. > "Look like Reeny and the others are going to Elena: (Artemis) DIE!! MWHAHAH!! >come back." >Luna remarks "That is a good omen." Reno: And how does Artemis know this? Rude: [Now managing to get the fingers untangled] (Artemis) I read the upcoming parts! MWHAHA! >**************************************************************** ALL: (Singing) We three Turks reading a Thinker fic.... >In the future, Sailor Moon open her eyes to see that Reeny is in >a grown like that of Princess Serena. Rude: I sense much confusion up ahead. >"Princess Serena! You are all right?" said Serena. ALL: HUH? Reno:(Serena) Why yes, Serena! I'm fine! You? I'm doing fine, Serena? Hey Serena, are we talking to myself? I don't know *WHACK!* oww! Thanks Elena: Your welcome...because that didn't make any sense. >Her voice >sound more adlut.. Rude: Theres the Adlut thing again. Reno: I still think it means Adult Sl.... [Stares at Elena] Elena: No. If you say it, you will not pass go, will not get 200 dollars, and meet another one of my Materias.... Reno: Will I actually get 200 dollars if I shut up? Elena: [Groans] Never mind. >lacking her teenage voice. Rude: Well, of course. >"Yes, my mother!" Princess Serena. Reno: Huh? I thought that was her future self! Elena: This is one of the more confusing chapters I have to say. >"MOON CRYSTRAL POWER! Rude: (Serena) Moon Chrystler Power? Elena: Actually, thats Crystal, not Chrystler. Rude: Oh! > HEAL OR VANISH THIS CREATURE FROM EARTH! Reno: (Serena) I dunno, just pick one! >The Wiseman disseappers and in the place is a young girl. ALL: UGH!! Rude: You mean all this time... Elena: The wiseman... Reno: Was...a GIRL!??!?? Rude: Excuse me for a second while I retch. >"Molly?! Why?" ALL: AHH!! Rude: [Now pukes] Reno: That is the worse plot contrivence since Nephrite was Santa Claus! Elena: The pain...THE PAIN!! >"Become was mad at me become I was a Princess like you." Elena: So she was pissed at not becoming a princess? Screw you story! >Plus a purple creature ALL: (Singing) It was the one-eyed one-horned flying purple people eater... >"Grrr!!! Reno: Bad dog! Sit! Rude: (Dog) [Pant] [Pant] >Sailor Moon, this is the second time you have Elena: (Whoever) took my ego! LET IT GO!! It's mine! > defeat me! >I will not forgive you at all! This is Nega-Verse warning: Rude: (Monotoned) This is a test of the emergency nega-system. If this was a actual emergency, your butt would have been MoonDust and we would have already gone with our happy-go-lucky lives. Thank you. >Leave >us alone or face the conqueses. OK?" Reno: Conqueses? Is that like a Convention for Questions? >"NO!" thunders the Scouts as Nega-Verse is trap in a energy ball >and send a way Elena: Well, that was quick.... Reno: Why are the Senshi called Scouts in DiC's world anyway? Rude: Well, maybe they joined the Girl Scouts and now sell cookies. >**************************************************************** >Later, a group of Scouts landed on the park. Reno: CENTRAL Park to be exact during a riot led by our hero, Nav. Others: GO NAV! > Mars and Venus were >in a tree. Rude: K-I-S-S.... Elena: No...change that song. Rude: To what? Elena: C-H-O-C-O-B-O And Mog too! ChocoMog! [Summons the Moogle and the Chocobo, in which they immedently run Rude over] Rude: [Getting back in his seat] What was the number on the Chocobo? > Mercury and Jutiper were in the tree. Reno: I sense lemon ahead! >Pluto standing >over a park bench with Tudexo Mask and Sailor Moon kissing. Elena: (Pluto) They are so cute when they french. Reno and Rude: ELENA?!? Elena: [Looks at them with sweet eyes] Yeessss? Reno: Aww...Crap Rude: Never mind. >"What are you going to do to us?" [Everyone gags] Rude: Welcome to Lemon world, where everything smells bad. >"I was planning one erase your minds again, but Reno: (Pluto) ...then I thought 'Screw This' and let you go on Jerry Springer and say your story. Nav, Bane, the ISM will all come in and kill you. It's much more fun that way. >the mind-melt had >protect you. Elena: Mind melt? Is that like butter-melt? Reno: Serena's mind is already melted enough. > Unlike the crystral erased mind you had in the past >between the Queen Beryl and the aliens. I must return to Pluto. Rude: (Pluto) Because you see, I'm actually a huge flea on Pluto's back. Reno: Wrong Pluto, Rude. Elena: SEE?! SEE?! This shows that they were brainwashed!! 'Crystal erased mind you had in the past'! See?! >Good Luck! You will be need it!" Reno: (Pluto) Especially in this fic! >***************************************************************** >Five day later, Rude: Armageddon Struck, The End. >Molly asked "What wrong with Serena?" Reno: (Whoever else) Oh that? Thats just the mono she got a few nights from Tuxedo Kamen. Rude: (Serena) Oh, just wondering if I should hurt you for trying to kill me... I dunno... >Serena replied "Nothing, Molly, let's eat some lunch!" Elena: (Serena) Yeah...I mean, I've heard of a neat little place called Rat-Poison world...wanna go? >Molly replied "OK!" >Serena thought to herself. Reno: Wouldn't that blow up her mind? Elena: I hope she smites you for that remark whenever we get down... >spending the rest of the school with Molly. May be. ALL: GYAH!! Reno: I sense something very very bad going on here! > Can they be >more future than universe out there? Rude: Uhh....ok. That is a interesting bit of trivia. > I don't know! I wonder what >are next attack are going to be?" Reno: Oh god... Elena: What? Reno: They killed off all the villians, so Dr.Thinker will have to make new ones Others: [Shivers] >THE END Reno: Yippie! Rude: Yappey! Elena: Yahooey! And Lets get outta here! [The 3 exit the theater] [Door Seqence....] [SOS-Bridge] Elena: Hey... do you think it could suck any worse? Reno: Yes. I mean, there are more plot contrivances in here than are inside Rufus' Plot Contrivence materia! Rude: Wanna check up on the Hair Massacre? Elena: Why not? [He hits the HectoScreen button and it shows Midgar 13 with Rufus and a now normal...but was he ever normal Heidegger] [Midgar 13] Rufus: Greetings, my little Sea-Monkeys (tm). Are you prepared for more of Neo-Scouts? Because there is no... [He is interrupted by a phone ringing. He picks it up and you hear a guy's voice] Dude: Hello, we are from the Final Fantasy Tactics Society. Would you like to make a donation to Ramza and his troops? Rufus: NO! [Slaps the phone down and it immedently it rings again. Rufus picks it up, this time a girl is on the phone] Hello? Gal on phone: This is Agrias from the FFT Society. Rufus: I already said no. Agrias: Actually, we are looking for someone named Mike Rotch. Have you seen him? Rufus: Hold on, lemme check. [covers phone piece with hand] Hey, Turks, Do you know Mike Rotch? [SOS Bridge] [Everybody is just snickering. Finally Rude falls on the floor, bursting in laughter] [Midgar 13] Rufus: Whats so funny. Do you know Mike Ro.... Oh crap.... [Returns to phone] LISTEN, AGRIAS! AS SOON AS I FIND YOU,IT'S HELL FOR YOU! OK? [Phone is slammed] Allright, until I find this 'Agrias', You are going to enjoy Part 7 of Neo-Scouts....well, after the commercial break anyway. MWHAHA! Heidegger: You tell him boss! I mean you rock the house! Who's the man? HO HO! Rufus: Shut up, Mr.Suck-Up. Heidegger: [Meekly] Yes, Sir. [SOS Bridge] [The commercial sign flashes while everyone is laughing. Elena has fallen onto the floor herself, and Reno is klinging on the table] Reno: We'll be right...back. [Hits the button and falls down laughing] **************************************************************************** Coming Soon- On Shinra Public Access! Clone Seph's Hour- The coolest talk show on the net! Watch as Sephieroth goes deeper than anyone has gone before... Clone Seph: So who is it gonna be, Cloud? Tifa or a Clone of Aeris? Cloud: Uhh...Err.....Tifa! [Clone Aeris slaps him] AHH!! [Tifa comes up and slaps Clone Aeris] Dude: CATFIGHT! The Rufus AAA Nightcap- The only show where the Camera Guy talks during the show. Camera Guy: Hey... I don't think anyone is watching, Rufus. Rufus: THEY ARE TOO!! Who wouldn't stare at my beautiful hair? [Silence] And everyone's favorite. The Cait Sith Show! Cait Sith: Screw you guys! I'm going home! All this and more on Shinra Public Access. **************************************************************************** ___________________________NOW CONTINUE TO PART 7___________________________ §--(Continue with your life off)--§ (And I'm tired right now...leave a message) Sailor Moon: Neo-Scouts Part 7 Written by Dr.Thinker MSTied by John 'CrowBar' Hurst MakoReno@aol.com http://crowbar.cjb.net/ Let's continue on! ___________________________________________________________________________ [The 3 enter the theater] Elena: I still can't believe Rufus fell for the oldest prank call in the book.... [Slightly laughs] >The Wiseman: Molly was him. Reno: Aww damn. I just forgot about that too. Elena: Eww! Another Herm! >But in REAL MOON universe, he was a >DEATH GHOST. Rude: (Dr.Thinker) But we'll forget about that little Tid-bit now, shall we? [Imitates gun cocking sounds] > He was defeat when Usagi become Neo-Sereinty >and Chi-Usa Elena: Nuclear Weirdo Sister of Chibi-Usa. >become Princess Usagi. Rude: I just hope this doesn't turn into the British Royal Family once this is at the end. Elena: (Usagi) Pip pip, cheerio. Pass the sashimi. I am absolutely famished >Sailor Neo-Scouts: Part 7: New Villains Reno: New Pain. Rude: New Torture. Elena: New Stuff. [The others stare at Elena] Elena: I couldn't think of anything else, ok? >[CORE-PAST-10 years] Reno: As in *reactor core*? Elena: The true story of KFC Chicken goes out to the public. >[A middle age women..with long red hair. Rude: (Announcer) You're the next contestant on The Price is Right!!! >She wears a long green >and blue green dotted with jewels of every shape and color. Reno: Ok... I'll take it that she is obsessed with Claires' Jewelry. Rude: So she's wearing a long green, blue green, jewel dotted... something. Ladies and gentleman, Dr. Thinker at his best! > Her >eyes are same as Darrien eye's. ALL: [Gulp] Reno: (Data) There is utterly wrong foreshadowing ahead, sir. >Her mouth is like that of >Serena's Lunar mother. Elena: What? Did Thinker stare at Queen Serenety's mouth for 3 hours? Reno: If this was a manga, that would be very scary..... >She is sitting next to a paltom with a >crown with a heart with a cross it. Rude: Ah... it's one of those Love Machine thingies. Reno: In a reactor core? Elena: Ah... so she's the high princess of the Red Cross! >She is Queen Gaiga.] Elena: Gaiga? Reno: Or it could be Galaga. The WAS a pretty good arcade Rude: Well, It's a new character, so we have to say the spelling's right for her. Elena: It pretty much sucks though. I still like Galaga. >Voice: How summon the Great Power Giver, Reno: I dunno, Ask? Elena: And when did this change to script form? > Falios, to the Planet of >Earth. Elena: Falios? Rude: (Announcer) Today on the show, We'll show you how to summon up new characters with crappy names... >Q. Gaiga: I'm Queen Gaiga. I'm sorry. Reno: (Gaiga) Really... I'm sorry for taking this deal with Dr.Thinker. PLEASE take me out! Oh PLEASE! > I thought that you were >lying about . . . . . Rude: (Gaiga) The Fried Ice Cream...that stuff REALLY is good! Reno: You know those periods are really spaced out. Get it? Because they are spaced? Ahh....never mind. >Voice: The Neglios attack on the Moon. I know! Elena: Oh brother... Rude: I have a feeling that this chapter will hurt a lot with all of these new characters..... >Q. Gaiga: I happen decide on . . . . . . . . Reno: (Whiny Little Brat) This Toy! PLEASE? PLEASE, Mommy! I'll take good care of it! >Voice: Giving your power to some one else or have you decide on >doing what never did done before. Elena:(Gaiga) Actually, neither. Why would I need to? >Q. Gaiga: The latter choice is my item. Reno: [Snickers] Elena: [Holds out a shiny orb] ENEMY SKILL AQUALUNG! Ahh... damn. I'm out of MP. >She will have know of her >powers after the meeting with bewteen Rude: (Gaiga) Me and this author, because I have several things to do first [maniacal laughter] *WHACK* Oww....Thanks Elena: No problem. >the hypotited Molly of the >future and the Scouts of the Present and Future. Elena: This is a test of the Emergency Thinker System. For the next 60 seconds, you will not understand a word you hear... thank you. >Voice: (Gasps) >Q. Gaiga: What wrong? Reno: (Voice) We are in a Thinker fic, THATS whats wrong! >Voice: Darrien!!! I have found him. Elena: Warning! Warning! Awkward crap incoming! Reno: Duck and cover! >Q. Gaiga: MY SON! Rude: AHH!!!! NO! NO! That must not be...The Pain...the pain!! THE PAIN!! Reno: Calm down, Rude. Rude: I WILL NOT! NOT THIS TIME! [Holds out a shiny orb similar to Elena's] NEO BAHAMUT!! [Nothing happens]. Crap...I'm also out of MP. > (Sadly) But I can't give him Reno: Pleasure? Elena: Rude...gimme that Neo-Bahamut Materia. [Rude does so.] Thank you. [She holds out a Ether, which restores MP, and uses it] NEO-BAHAMUT!! Reno: No! [Disappears] >Voice: (Sadly,too) He is a He, not a girl as him..like Uranus >was. Rude: Uhh... Darien was a woman? If we could just understand...the pain... Elena: I do not like where this is going. >Q. Gaiga: What power should with begun with her. Elena: Uhhh...what? [Reno appears pretty much burnt out] Reno: Ouchie... [Crawls back to his seat] Elena: [Snickers] >Voice: The Element in which the Scout uses. Reno: Earth? Elena: Fire? Rude: Wind? Reno: Water? Elena: And we are not even going to the Captain Planet sketch, so stop right there. >Q. Gaiga: If my memory serves me. Reno: Well, of course your memory serves you! It's in your body!! >The follow equals the Scouts. Elena: You know, when the Sailor Senshi go door-to-door selling cookies and gaining flimsy badges for 'Recycling Bicycles' or other crap like that, I'll start calling them scouts. >Fire is Sailor Mars. Rude: Yeah. So? > Air has Pluto. Reno: Your point? >Fog & Ice has Merucry. Elena: WE KNOW THIS ALREADY!! >Venus has half moon power. Reno: She does? >Uranus has Sound. [Everybody is snickering] Elena: Ok.... We really needed to know that. >Death has Saturn. Reno: I never knew Death was a Sailor Senshi. Rude:(Death) In the name of Hades, I shall kil...well, you know what I'll do. > Neptune has Water. Reno: Sayyy.... Elena: Don't say that unless you want to be hurt real bad. >Voice: Earth? Rude: I'm sorry, Sailor Earth is not available right now because she is not a Senshi at all. She is a fan-created one. Please leave your message now and she will never return it. Thank you. >Q. Gaiga: Simple..but how! Reno: I'm sorry...but what are you two talking about? Elena: The EZ to use SENTENCE! >[Sound of a plate mover [Earth Quake[ Rude: Actually...there must have been a earthquake at Dr.Thinker's house when he was writing it. Elena: Editing is our friend... >Voice: Thanks a lot? Earth Quake! Darrien is in Tokyo. Reno: Must...not pass out...on too much...info. >[A crystral balls show a young Darrien in Junior High School] Elena: (Gaiga) He's turned to be a nice young man. Reno: (Bully) Hey! Give us all your money now, Darien! [Fake punches are heard] Elena: (Gaiga) Ehh..never mind. >Voice: Find me another faimly with in Tokyo. Reno: That is a quite simple process actually...just pick a name from the phone book. Then you prank call them and ask them about Mike, Refrigerators, and Prince Albert. >[The Crystral switch to a peace like a home with a youg man about >29 year old and youg women that is about 30 years old] Rude: Apparently at the wrong time too. *WHACK!* That's getting old, Elena! Elena: I know..but it IS fun. >Q. Gaiga: Please the orb of Power with in the Egg of the female >there. ALL: EW! Reno: [Chanting] I won't touch that riff, I won't touch that riff! >Voice: As you command. She meet might up with the others. Reno: Might up? ALL: [Singing] Here she comes to save the day... >Q. Gaiga: I hope so. Elena: (Gaiga) I hope, I hope, I hope...... >***************************************************************** Reno: Betcha 10 bucks that I can count those stars faster than you. Rude: You're on! Reno: Ok! [Holds the 'Time' Orb] SLOW! [Magical energy swirls around Rude, making him go slower] HASTE! [energy does the same to Reno, except this energy makes him go faster] Rude: Whhhaaaattttt Thhhheeeee Helllllll????? Reno: Man! There-is-66-stars-in-that-line. [Uses Remedy to cure them both] You owe me 10 bucks, baldy! Rude: Grr...[hands over 10 bucks] >[Present Day - Core ] Elena: Queen Gaiga and the Voice were burt to a crisp in the core and were distributed to many Long John Silver customers. >Queen Gaiga: Felios, look! ALL: [Singing] Looky, Looky, Looky, Here comes Cookie! Cookie Pest Control.. Reno: What the crap just got into us? [Rude and Elena just shrug] >[A spirit of flame appears] Elena: (Spirit) I am the spirit of the bonfire from last night! You thought you got rid of me, huh? HAHAHA! Take this! [makes fire noises] >Felios: Look like she is teenage.. Rude:[Chanting] I will not make a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle joke here... >[Queen Gaiga nodes] Reno: ....off to sleep, like everyone else around here. >Felios: What his her Earth name? Elena: Huh? His her? Someone is a herm... [Reno places his hand on Elena's mouth] Reno: Please don't continue, for the love of god don't. >Queen Gaiga: Sarah Moonson. Rude: Oh god....Moonson....how original. Elena: (Dr.Thinker) I can't think of a name for this girl! Aha! I'll give her a American name....and a crappy last name too! > Cousin to restored Sailor Moon, >Serena. Reno: This really is starting to hurt.... [grabs nightstick and whacks himself with it] Elena: Reno! Don't do that! [Grabs nightstick] That's my job! [Whacks Reno with the stick] >Felios: WHAT? WHAT HAPPEN? Rude: You mean...it was never meant for author-created Sarah Moonstone to be the cousin of Sailor Moon? Elena: Why, of course, in the real moon universe, she would have kicked her ass for saying such a thing. >Queen Gaiga: The Neglios helper.. Elena: Mr.Rogers? >Queen Beryl send out her >guardians to find energy or die trying to restore the Neglios. Reno: Uhh.....ok.... >With them she would have defeat the Scouts Rude: And then some animators and writers got a hold of the plot and rewrote it for us to lose! >..expect that my son >that used Tudexo Mask Elena: as a puncing bag, a body sled, and sometimes maybe a super hero... >stop them at every turn with some help from >his soul. ALL: [Singing] He's a soouull man. > After the finail defeat of Neglios...Ann & Ann Rude: Ann and Ann? Elena: I think there was two people near the end in which Ann was one of them. Reno: [Monotone] Come to Ann's and Ann's for all the best stuff... >Felios: The Lifitians...of the Tree of Life. Reno: They just keep on coming and coming and...*WHACK* with the new charecters. >Queen Gaiga: Yeah. But they call it the Tree of Doom. >After a >while, Rude: (Gaiga) Indiana Jones found out about that and gave that Negaverse a pretty hard time about the copyright of products with 'Doom'. Reno: No...thats ID Software, Rude. >Serena and Darrien were reunited for a while, befere >Sailor Neo-Moon and the Nega-Moon appear. Elena: Oh...so Dr.Thinker has a Southern Accent Now? Reno: (Southern) I haven't seen yall for awhile here now. >Felios: It is a wise time for Earth to appear. Rude: Well, rather than the fact that it is revolving around the sun, and appears throughout the galaxy! It makes no s... Elena: Stop right there. We don't want Jolt barging in here after us. >Gaiga: To accitive Sailor Moon's confuses Reno: Oooo-kay... that didn't sound right at all. *THWACK!* Oww! Elena: You shouldn't think like that around a woman! >..plus Sailor Earth >power. Felios? Rude: (Gaiga) Congrats, Felios! We have reached the point to what the heck we are talking about.... >Felios: New Villians, twice as power as appper. Reno: (Seigfried) Watch as I make it Disappear! Rude: (Roy) Dammit, Seigfried! Reno: (Seigfried) What? Rude: (Roy) You let loose the white tiger! RUNN!!! >They are >powerful. Elena: (Felios) You know...Generic. > Good Luck. I keep you posted on dates. Reno: (Felios) Just check up at Rec.anime.creative.thinker.help. > I will call on >time....see ya Elena: I still can't imagine those good guys and bad guys saying 'See ya' unless they were teenage. Reno: The story hurts, I know. >***************************************************************** >[Author Note: From now on, the story will Rude: (Thinker) Be nuked to itty bitty bits! Thank you! >take place on the >sufure in take and in the headquater of the evils Reno: Sulfur? Wouldn't that like....hurt? >[Dark Scouts Headquaters] ALL: [Singing] Where all your dreams come true! >Voice: Ice Queen come forth! Elena: Wasn't she in one of the Sailor Moon movies? Reno: No...thats Snow Witch Elena: Oh... Because I was about to say a real good brough-back dead character joke. >[The Ice Queen look like a female version of Mega Man's enemy Ice >Man] Rude: AHH! CROSSOVER!! Reno: Whats so bad about Rockman? I happen to like him....plus, he could Mega Arm, Mega Buster or anything to that to these guys in a flash! >Ice Queen: You ring? Elena: (Voice) No...I was just testing your patience, you can go on. >Voice: Yes, I did! You mission is to get engry of any place in >the city) Have fun! Ha Ha Ha Ha! Reno:(Ice Queen) *ANY* place? *WHACK!* *BOOM!* *ZAP!* *I'MRIPPINGOFFBATMAN!* Ouch!! Elena: Baka.... >(A flash of light, the Ice Queen disseapers) Rude: (Ice Witch ala Wicked Witch of the West) I'M MELTING!! >*************************************************************** >[School - Day ] Elena: Huh? They were already saying it would take the rest of the story at the evil base..... What Gives? Rude: Remember, we are in The Thinker Zone. A zone of not of sight,sound, body, or mind, but of jumbled up words and such. >Voice: SERENA!!!! Reno: (Mr.Spacely) You're fired! >Serena: Over here, Sarah Moonson. Elena: (Usagi) And we weren't talking about you and having the Negaverse kill you, nosiree! >Amy: Moon creates >tide waves. Reno: I know about Tidal Waves and the Moon's Gravitational Pull, but TIDE WAVES??? Elena: You know, I don't think that much Tide will help shirts. It would only hurt it Rude: Are you kidding? Tide will get it out.. Reno: Or the whole town. >tides waves are part of the ocean. ocean are water. ALL: DUH!! >water is snouged in the clouds. Elena: Snouged? Does he mean Snoted? Reno: Uhh...Would that count as bad technobabble? Rude: Maybe.. Elena: (Forecatser) Today, the rain clouds snoted out some rain. > The cloud rains in China. Rude: Actually....they rain WHEREVER THE HELL THEY WANT!!! >The >China called them Moonsons.> Elena: Oh...so thats why Sarah's last name is so stupid. Rude: It could have been worse.. at least Thinker didn't put it on a already made character... >Lita: Think too hard, Amy. Reno: (Lita) I can see the smoke coming out of your ears. Rude: (Amy) No! I must study for this test on moonsons! [Elena makes explosion noises] Reno: (Lita) Ami! Look at your head now from all that thinking!! >Amy: Just wonder if Moonson is Serena last name. ALL: GYAH!! Elena: Please may that be not true....PLEASE!!??! >Sarah: I related to her father. So the answer is yes. ALL: AHH!!! Elena: Why!!?! WHY!?! >Serena: [The follow mark remarks think send to other Scouts] Rude: So now the scouts have telepathic powers....how nice. Wanna cookie? >{This is not like Reeny's} Reno: I would agree if I understood what that just said. >Amy: {She is her daughter from the future} Elena: Uhh....ok? This gets stranger every single minute! is Sarah Reeny's Daughter? Ow....my head hurts. Rude: Here, Elena. [Hands here a Mentos] Elena: A mentos? Might as well. [Pops Mentos in her mouth] >Sarah: {What happen?} Reno: Sarah....you don't want to know....trust me. >Lita: {You get in?} [Reno and Rude snicker...] Elena: Grr.... [Holds up a orb] FLARE!!! [A fire burns Reno and Rude] Both: Owwie... Elena: BAKA!! >Sarah: {Meet me a your temple in the afternoon, we will take >later there} Elena: [Snickers] Reno: Elena, you're going to pay after this... >Amy: {OK!} Reno: Hey! Ami doesn't have her own temple! Rude: Smile and Nod, Reno. >***************************************************************** >[Park Lot - Day ] Rude: Speaking of that, how come you park in a driveway, and drive on a parkway? [Elena and Reno ponder for a second, then shrug] >(The Ice Queen appears) Reno: [Bored] Wow....intense. >Ice Queen: Energy Sap! Elena: This Thus takes the energy out of Dr.Thinker by accident. The End. Rude: I don't think it would end that easily. >The Engry Sap takes away energy from the humans around ALL: Well, DUH!! >to from a >white as ice backpack that contains the stolden energies. Reno: The Backpack companies are secretly helping the negaverse as we speak... >(The Ice Queen Disseapers) Rude: That was quick... Elena: Not as quick as some of the scenes from the last part though. >***************************************************************** Reno: A long time ago in a galaxy far far away...there were a bunch of stars in a Thinker fic. Rude: I don't THINK so! >[Cherry Hill Temple -- Day] Rude: [singing]*Pop* goes the weasel.... Elena: May I borrow your nightstick, Reno Reno: Sure. [Hands her it] Elena: [whacks Rude on the head several time and follows by a sweep kick] Rude: Allright, Allright. I'll stop! >Raye: Who is this? Reno: I'm Reno. Rude: I'm Rude. Elena: I'm Elena....oh wait...you mean in the fic. My bad. >Serena: My TRUE COUSIN, Sarah, Pit-Brain. Reno: Now that is not a nice think to say to your cousin... oh... you mean Rei! Sorry! >Raye: Why did you bring her? Elena: (Serena) Why? Oh... because she is a author-created character. I was forced to. >Lita: She some how get into our thinking paths. Rude: (Sarah) Hehehe....That's a nice picture in your mind, Lita. Heh. >[Luna appears] Elena: (Luna) Run for it! Lord Thinker's coming!! >Luna: Mine if I try a mind meld. Reno: (Luna) Hot damn... I keep forgetting not to talk while people I don't know are around. >Sara: Go ahead. Rude: Make my day. >Luna: LUNA MIND MELD! Reno: She ends up melting her mind instead. The End. Elena: Can we play Wild Arms now? Rufus: [On intercom] NO!!! >(She see Gaiga praying to a spirit) Rude: (Gaiga) Oh, My Goddeess.... Reno: It's Megami-sama, Baldy. Rude: Grrr...right. (Gaiga) Please let me out of this Thinker fic..PLEASE!?! >Luna: She is Sailor Earth..but new! Elena: The New and Improved Sailor Earth! Lemony Fresh! Elena: I ought to hit you for that... >Sarah: Then we do I have a feeling that I was Scout but for some >time all ago. ALL: NANI?!? Reno: If this fic was the Starship Enterprise, it would have destroyed warp core, engines, and weapons. Heck, it would probably be in a vaccum! >Luna: I going to down what never do before summon Felios here. >But were need a source of. . . Reno: Wisdom? Rude: Tacos? Elena: Clones? >Raye: Fire? Rude: No fair, Rei! You can't play while you're in the fic! >Luna: (sweet drop) Reno: Sweet Drops...the newest candy from Thinker Enterprises Elena: (Cartman) Sweet. > I forget that you sometime read fire. [Elena makes fire crackling noises] Rude: (Rei) Wait! The fire is saying something! This....fic.....really... bites.... >**************************************************************** >[Inside the Temple] Reno: Of *doom*... Heheh. >Luna: Old Great Power Giver of the Scout. We need her help. Rude: (Spirit) This is the Great Power Giver. Due to a unusually high number of calls, we cannot accept your call. Please call later. >Voice of Felios: Who summoned Felios. Elena: (Luna) Oh....sorry. I was trying to summon a great power giver, not *you*! >Luna: It is me, Luna. Rude: (Luna) You know...the cat? >(Felios look at Raye, Mina, Sarah, Lita, Amy and finaily Serena] Reno: *INTENSE LOOKING ACTION!* >Felios: (laughing) The Sailor Scouts Elena: (Felios) Oh...those sailor scouts [British Laugh inserted here], needing help being stuck in a Thinker fic. Sorry there, can't help you! I'm created by him, you know. Want some tea? >Serena: (Looking confused) Felios, what so funny about that? Reno: (Felios) Oh Nothing...I was just talking to some other magical girls and they told me this wonderful joke about you guys. [laugh] >Felios: (laughing) Pardon my un-like behavir.. Rude: (Felios) And I'm sure we *will* forget that? [Reno makes a gun cocking sound] Elena: I think we already did that joke Rude: Really? Reno: Yeah...plus it's not funny a second time really. Rude: Aww man. >Serenity daughter..I was reading memories of the past. Elena: Ah...the High School Yearbook. Rude: Serena was voted as 'Most likely to be in all these bad fanfics'. >and one of >them remind me of Queen Serenity as a child. Reno: (Felios) Yeah. Something about your mom saying stuff about 'Fanfic writers'....Oh Well! >Serena: Great, my lunar mother had clumzy attack. Elena: She had a seizure? >Felios: Yes. But when she turned sixteen, she become a graceful >and more wisdom. Rude: Yeah, Ok. She should be using slang a whole lot, borrowing the car, talking on the phone, and shopping. > (Seriously) Reno: No...I'm sorry story. We can't take you seriously. >Luna why did your someme. Rude: Can I try to translate? Reno: Go ahead, Rude. Rude: Luna, Why did you use some of me? Elena: (Luna) Well, I *do* need several arms and limbs for my project... oh wait, I meant summon! Dr.Thinker made me say that you know. >Luna: Why does Queen Gaiga want to give a Scout to us now? Rude: So... they haven't even met her yet, haven't even spoke a word yet, and yet they know her. Elena: Brace yourself, my friends. >Felios: You see...first she had a boy from Saturn. Reno: (Felios) She made him work at the Saturn plant for quite some time... >The created >your first big attack, Queen Beryl. Reno: Oh god. You were right, Elena. This is gonna hurt. Rude: Queen Gaiga and the boy MADE Queen Beryl. Oh man. Where is the aspirin? > Next she married another >Earthling, Prince Darrien. Rude: Gimme the god damn asprin! [He sees it in Elena's hands and grabs it. He then gugs half the bottle right there] She....married....Serena's.... BOYFRIEND?!? SHE CREATED DARIEN, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Elena: Calm down, Rude! Rude: NO I WILL NOT! I... [Reno gets up and punches Rude in the stomach] Thanks, Reno Reno: No problem. >Luna: In other words, she did not mate a good user. Elena: I don't think that would be the right words to use on humans. Reno: (National Geographic Host) Today, we here see the Wild Queen Gaiga and the Saturn Boy.....They have fought before and they are about to again. Watch and learn, boys and girls. >Felios: That is correct for the reason. ALL: EWW!! Reno: That does not *SOUND* right, I'm sorry. >The second reason was >protecten made my Queen Rayinita, Sailor Mars, mother. Elena: Thrill as new author created characters are coming out of nowhere to outnumber the original cast! > It sated >that Queen of the Moon and Queen of Neligos, will go head with >each other. Rude: (Serena) Hey, wanna go head someone? Reno: (Queen Neligos) Nah. I got my chores to do and stuff. > Moon will lose on her soil, but Neligos will lose on >her Queen Soul. Elena: So... The Queen of the Moon will lose her soul while the Queen of the Neglios loses her soul. Rude, give me the aspirin. > Queen Gaiga did not believe her. Reno: Nor do we. >Luna: Felios, return to the soil. Rude: So, Felios is a zombie. Reno: That would explain the details for him. Elena: (Felios) But...I wanted some brains... >Felios: I give your help when needed. See ya!! Reno: (Computer) I'm sorry. Help File thinker.hlp could not be found. >I.Q.: (voice) This seem like a good place. Elena: (IQ) I have found the perfect place for the picnic! Rude: Who's IQ? Reno: IQ. Brother of Q. >Raye: Look like you get a test run, Sarah. ALL: GYAH!! Reno: Ok... I know what she is meaning. She means this is a test. Others: AHH! Reno: NO! I mean a try-out! Others: EWW! Reno: A PRACTICE RUN AGAINST THE ENEMIES!! [The Others are silent] Rude: Oh. Elena: Well, it still sounds sick. >(All of the people in the temple had sweet drops on them) Elena: (Announcer) Yes, sweet drops. For that great scent and wonderful taste, it *is* sweet drops. >Serena: MOON CRYSTRAL POWER!!! >Sarah: Earth Star POWER!!! >Raye: Mars Star POWER!!!! >Mina: Venus Star POWER!!! >Amy: Mercury Star POWER!!! Reno and Rude: Wonder Twin Powers....ACTIVATE! >Lita: Jutiper Star POWER!!!!! Reno: (Singing) Here she comes to save the day... Others: Shrubber Gal! >[The lines for Sailor Earth is that she gets rocks sounding her Rude: They are Sound Waving her again!! Elena: Those must be really powerful waves if they can do that. >and become her white, brown, and gray Sailor Skirit ALL: FUKU!!! (Fuku in >Japan. Reno: Well...we just screwed that last riff up. Elena: Maybe we should wait before we do those kind of riffs. >This will transformed into the follow: Scout/Scouts power >up/power down) Rude:(Dude) Damn Sailor Scout! They never start when I want them to! Elena: (Other Dude) Nono! Look what you did! Now the engines all flooded! > >Ice Queen: Welcome Sailor Brats!! Reno: (Rei) Hey! We are not brats! Only Usagi is! Rude: (Usagi) Hey!! I ought to....[Reno and Rude make fake punches] >S. Earth: She look like a Mega Man villain! Elena: Actually, in Japan, thats Rockman. Rude: Nitpicker. Elena: I AM NOT! Rude: Yeah you are! [Rude then sees a certain shiny orb labled 'Ultima'] Rude: No your not. >S. Mercury: Ice Man? Reno: [Singing] Ice, Ice, Baby... Elena: [Whacking Reno on the head] Stop that! That band can scare a dead carcass! >S. Moon: Yeah! But she looks like a female. Rude: Naw...you think!?! With a name like Ice Queen, of COURSE! >Ice Queen: Thanks for the un-typical thanks! Reno: (Ice Queen) And I was about to let you go and back a Treatza Pizza for you guys too... >(Ice Queen moves her arms) Elena: (Ice Queen) Hello? I'm still here! Hey! Wait for me! Hello?? >Ice Queen: Energy Sap! Rude: (Announcer) This Energy Sap is taken out of the wild Fanfica Trees of North America Others; Oooo... Ahhh... >(Moon, Merucury, Venus, and Jutiper are out) Elena: And the WCW Chapionship Match will pit Sailor Earth versus The Ice Queen. Reno and Rude: [Waving little flags, sarcastic] Hooray. What a amazing coincidence. >Earth: Earth Quake Punch! Reno: (Earth) Yum! EarthQuake Punch! Recomended by millions of fanfic writers! >(Earth's punch as a orb. Rude: A *Materia* Orb? Elena: Oh No! How did the Scouts get Materia? Our nightmare has turned into reality! Reno: [Mumbling] I hope they smite you for that. >As the green orb hits the monster smack >in the blue coat armor on the chest, she yells. Rude: SURRRGGGGGEEEE!!! Elena: I think everyone uses that joke. Rude: Really? Oh well.... SURGE!!! > The result is >that it is not good. Reno: (faux Rainman) Very bad, yes, very bad. >She appears.... Rude: ....I won't say it. Reno: Then I will! Naked in the author's world!! [Elena gets up, does a one two combo, sweep kick, followed by a powerslam, and a Master combo from Killer Instinct.] Elena: BAKA!!! You shouldn't say that stuff around a woman! Reno: Owww! You can't do that to the leader of the Turks! Elena: Do you want to meet Ultima? Reno: Allright...fine! I'll stop! >a little bit of bloods run >down the side.) Rude: Her nose? Hair? What? What? Reno: I would like some details to go, please. >Ice Queen: See ya (Disseapers) Elena: (Ice Queen) I would play more, but the author wrote me like this. >Earth: Rats! Reno: [looks around] What rats? Elena: Maybe the rats will eat this story. Rude: It's too late for those jokes. We are at the end. Elena: Crap! [The 3 exit] ****** [Door Sequence- Yadda yadda yadda.] [The scene shows the SOS Bridge, Elena on the PC there, while Reno and Rude are at the HectoScreen] Rude: Do you actually think we could call Earth and get help. Reno: Of course. Now, try to get the closest signal. [Rude goes to the controls beside it and fiddles with some buttons. The picture comes up and shows 2 bots and a human in a blue jumpsuit. Can you guess who they are? Good, you get a cookie.] Red Bot: Hey. You call? Reno: Yeah...can you get us out of here and back to Earth. Red Bot: Sorry bout that. We are stuck up here too. I'm Tom, This is Crow, and the Idiot is Mike. Mike: Hey! Crow: Hi...got any Sailor Moon movies? Rude: No, don't think so. Crow: Damn! Tom: You gotta watch what you say around him. He is a Sailor Moon fanboy Crow: That's OTAKU!! Tom: Whatever. Rude: Well, I guess we'll go. Sorry to bother you. [Rude closes the HectoScreen] Reno: Well, never mind what I think. We'll try again later. Rude: Yeah. [The two walk over to the PC where Elena is] Elena: Hey guys. Any luck. Rude: Nada, Nine and None. Reno: What are you doing? Elena: I'm downloading some file on some page. [Reno looks closer at the web address] Reno: What the? Are you sure about this site and the file you are downloading?? Elena: Yeah, Of Course! [Points to screen] It's done! [The file pops up with the name Hojo4.mov. The scene shows a video camera in a bathroom. There it shows a girl's head popping out of the shower. It is Elena.] Elena: WHAT! THAT'S HOJO!!! WHEN I GET BACK I'LL... [Commercial sign flashes off] Reno: We'll be right back people. Elena: And *BLEEP* and *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP*..... [Reno quickly hits the commercial sign button] *************************************************************************** [Scene Shows a fake background with Barney in the front and several Kids in the back ground] Barney: HuhuHi, Kids! Did you buy my new book called 'Buy it' yet? Kids: NO!! Kid 1: It sucks! Kid 2: Yeah! I'll make my dad sue you! Barney: Oh really!?! Kid 2: Well, maybe not that. Barney: I knew you love Barney [Runs to give them a hug] Kid 1: NAV! We Need you! [Nav pops into the scene with a M-60 and several rounds of ammo] Nav: Hehehe. Time to Die, Barney! [Aims at Barney] Barney: Shit! Uh oh...This is a PBS show! I can't say that. Now NOW will be after me. [A angry mob of NOW members jump into the scene] NOW 1: THERE HE IS!! NOW 2: KILL HIM! Barney: No!!! [The screen switches to a please stand by symbol with a small symbol of Shinra Public Access on the bottom. Several gun shots from a certain M-60 and punches and kicks are heard throghout the Stand by. The screen fades to black] **************************************************************************** ____________________________Let's Go to Part 8...NOW! ()-)___________________ Sailor Moon: Neo-Scouts Part 8 - MSTied! Written by Dr.Thinker MSTied by John 'CrowBar' Hurst MakoReno@aol.com New E-mail address: Sir_CrowBar@yahoo.com http://crowbar.cjb.net Let's get on...oww...my head hurts from this... ____________________________________________________________________________ [The 3 enter their usual seats.] Elena: I am gonna *BLEEP*ing kill that *BLEEP*in Hojo!! Rude: Hey! When did the censor come back on? Reno: Damn Censor. [Silence] Reno: Guess we scared it off for a while. Rude: Good. I hate those censor guys. They always get everywhere. >Part 2 Elena: Huh? It was part EIGHT last time I checked. Rude: This one is gonna hurt real bad. Reno: Yeah...I'm switching to Nuprin..... >Earth meets up with her first monster in Rude: Pokemon! Collect those lovable, yet wierd Pikachu's and other assorted monsters! Reno: Shameless Ad For Nintendo No. 1 Rude: Of course...it wouldn't be shameFILLED. >"The Bad Cellians" Elena: Cellians? Sounds like they make cells. Rude: (Bob Vila) Today in This Old Cell, We show you how to make the framing for it where a bad fanfic writer would be PERFECT for. >Author Note: Cellains are the Dark Scouts's monsters..every >Sailor Moon series have one. Rude: They do? Reno: Never saw them. Course I've never seen much of that show. Elena: (Cellian) Fear me! I'm a cellian! I mean it! I can kill you! Come back! Can I kill you, please? It won't hurt, I swear! >Talk about beening in leauge with the Nega-Verse. Reno: And out of league with everything else. Elena: That's mean, Reno Reno: For some reason, I feel like saying 'Bite Me' right now. >I forget the >standard disclamers. Rude: (Thinker) I was wondering why all those lawyers were slapping me with lawsuits! > Remember is story is fake with real cartoon >people Elena: *Real* cartoon people? Reno: (Thinker) I swear! Scooby Doo and the Flintstones duked it out in my living room! Honest!! >copy right in 1996 by DIC. Reno: Completly Annihilated, Destroyed, and Butchered by DIC. >From >Thinker Dub Lab Co. Rude: (Dude) Where we make sure you can't understand a word we say! >Comes Reno: [snickers] *BAM!* Hey! I didn't say anything! Elena: Exactly. >Sailor Moon Neo Scouts: Part 8 - The Bad Cellins Rude: Bad Cellian! Bad Boy! No Biscuit! And you said you could mow the lawn.. >[Dark Scouts Headquaters] Elena: Where the Coke machines cost 20 dollars and you have to pay to use the toilets. Rude: That's Shinra HQ, Elena. Elena: Oh yeah... >Voice: Ice Queen!!!!!! Those Sailor Saps are getting to you? Reno: Yes...order your Sailor Saps right away. It comes from the finest of Doom Trees and is guaranteed to grab onto you. Rude: From the new Thinker Dub Lab Co. >I.Q. : (scared stiff) I don't know, I just meet than one. Elena: (IQ) Could you help me move? The author wrote me too stiff. >[The Voice crakes a funny robot laugh..evil too] Reno: [Looks around] When did Katone get here? Rude: Huh? Reno: Oh...I looked around the internet and he also forces people to read bad fanfics. Rude: Oh. >Voice: I dare you to fight them again. Elena: (IQ) But we have to say Truth or Dare first, man! God! You are so bad at remembering rules. > Take on any number of >Celluians. Reno: (Voice) Yeah, let our guys destroy you so we can play chess without you cheating. > They are a hypo-dread of Youmas and (laughs) Cardiens. Rude: Cardiens? Reno: Maybe he meant Cardinals, as in St.Louis Elena: If that's the case, Then Mark has already knocked the Senshi into the Upper Deck. >Sailor Moon and her scouts, will not know what happen. Rude: (Voice) To their comma's anyway.... >********************************************************** Reno: A pathway to the stars! Everyone Else: [Groans] >[A room similar to the temple pit exceple Greek-look. Rude: Oh goodie... I didn't know Rei's Temple has a pit. Reno: (Random Senshi) Watch out for the Vipers, Mina! Whoops! >In the >middle is a transport room.] Elena: Where Captain Kirk and Spock are sipping Starbucks and chatting about how the fic is ripping off Star Trek. >(Tens girls made out of elemants matching one of the Scouts >elements appear. Reno: Ok...Anybody get that? Rude: I understand everything up to the parentheses. >F.Q. : Reno: Folding Quest? Rude: Fire Quitter? Elena: Freakin' Question? > Ha Ha Ha. Like like the Master Queen is not happy. Elena: FQ *IS* Alicia Silverstone. Rude: (FQ) Like, we are gonna go to the mall and kill some people. Like cool, huh? >I.Q. : Put a sock in it, Flamo. Reno: Put a sock where? *WHACK* Oww... Elena: Baka, Baka, BAKA!! Rude: Please, this is a No Brady Bunch Reference Zone. >W.Q. : Elena: William's Queen? Reno: Water Quest? Rude: Will's Quiet? Reno: This scene is gonna hurt so bad... >Thank a lot, you almost ice cubed me. Reno: (WQ) Thanks, man! It felt good to be almost ice-cubed!! >E.Q : Reno: Eatery Quilt? Elena: Stop it! My head is hurting... >If you try ice the Water Queen, Rude: (EQ) We'll get to put her in the Soda at our party! So hurry up and do it!! > you have to deal with me. Elena: (IQ) Too late...I got a full house. Reno: (EQ) Damn! >S.Q : Rude: Silent Quebec? Elena: I told Reno to stop that. It doesn't mean you can do it too! > (sound of a rough, giff king) ALL: NANI?!? Reno: (Teacher) He's a gifted king, students. Now, for today's learning, we will discuss how in some cases, you can mark out some multiple choice answers. Elena: (SQ) Does that include True and False questions? Reno: (Teacher) Oh man.... >Yeah Right? Rude: Wow...we were right. He is a Valley Dude! Reno: (SQ) Like, I don't know if it's a question or statement. I have to get back and find out the latest rage. >L.Q. : ALL: LAVOS QUEEN? Reno: How did Lavos get in this fic? > You can't disquese you voice, Queen. Reno: (SQ) Drat. I think I'll go get some *ham* now. >T.L. : Elena: ARGHHH!! I CAN'T TAKE THESE INITIALS ANYMORE!! WHO THE HELL ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE? ARGHHH!!! Rude: Calm down Elena. I'll get you a couple bottles of Asprin and some Jolt along side it. Elena: [She stops yelling] Really? Rude, You're so sweet! [Elena snuggles on Rude for a sec while a confused Reno stares at them] Reno: I've been up here far too long already. > Time is Waste. Rude: (TL) I sent mine to the Dump a while back! You? >Ice Queen? What the Celluans you have call >form. Elena: I'm not even gonna try to nit pick that. Reno: Yeah....I need some asprin badly. >I.Q: Thank you Time Lady. Reno: (IQ) For nothing!! >(A huge white cell appear in the room. Elena: I guess Seigfried and Roy are in charge of special effects in this fic. > In creaks open. Reno: *Crrreeaaakkkk* Rude: That was lame, Reno. Reno: Who cares? >Reaviling >the a white lavra, than coopan, the albut moth) ALL: [Laughs] Reno: A moth???? Rude: Oh god... [Stops laughing] Well, that one moth in Resident Evil 2 pissed me off. >I.Q. : Meet Fasta, the most power moth every to be evil. [Everybody continues to laugh] Elena: (IQ) His power is that he can eat cotton clothing completly!! Talk about cool huh? Hey, where is everyone? >******************************************************** >[Serena's House. The radio going full blast. Rude: She listens to Metallica? Reno: Well, CrowBar does anyway.... Elena: Shhh! Stop breaking the 4th Wall! > Sarah and Serena are >listing to the music.] Rude: And if that is the All-Hanson Station, I'm leaving. [Elena and Reno look at each other] Elena: MMBOP.... Rude: NO! STOP IT! Reno: MMMBOP.... Rude: AHHH!!! Reno: Hehehe... >Radio: The Sky is New in Blue..... Reno: Presenting the *NEW* Blue Sky! Watch thunderstorms happen and other assorted things as well! Rude: New from...ahh forget it.... >(a news reporter voice) Rude: It was sung in a news reporters voice? That's pretty bad!! >Sorry >to broke the sound of Blue New Sky. Elena: (Reporter) But it was so annoying that a vicious mob came and tore down half the building. >But a huge moth is attacking >the city. Reno: I think it would be easy to spot a huge moth in the city if they are in it. It makes no sense really! Elena: Well, they did lose Godzilla in the movie 'Godzilla' Rude: And stop using copyrighted lines! > This is not a ad for the next Godzilla movie. Rude: (Reporter) It's a ad for the next Thinker fic. RUN!!! >Report is >it helping straight to the Star Light Tower. Reno: It's helping straight? Is he a chiropractor for buildings? Rude: (Moth) Now hold still tower. Uh oh, I destroyed the tower. Guess I better run before those Laser Radar thingies attack me. > The last time, it >has been part of news was.... Elena: Last year, during the Godzilla shooting. Rude: During the middle of a Thinker fic. Reno: During the shooting of several Senshi in a Anti-fic. >********************************************************* >[Raye's house. The radio is one the same channel...but at a litte >bit lower volume.] Elena: [rolls eyes] Yeah...we really needed to know the volume of the radio. Thanks fic! >Radio: when the tower of the tops was torn from the inside, but >it happen at 5:30. ALL: NANI? Reno: Sentence...structure....too confusing. >According to the tower guards no body is allow >to after 5:00. Rude: Ok...so it is a crossover of Resident Evil 2 now. Reno: (Zombie) Uhhhh... Elena: (Guard) I'm sorry, but no dead bodies are allowed after 5:00 P.M. Reno: (Zombie) Uhh....crap...uhhh. >Some of Jubban people in this tower thinks..... Elena: It's one of the cheapest plot devices ever made. Reno: It's the perfect time to go to Wal-Mart. >************************************************************* >[Darrien is putting on a top hat. Reno: Since when did Darien put on top hats? He morphs or whatever into Tuxedo Mask! Elena: Smile and Nod, Reno. >The radio is so one at a normal >level] Rude: Yeah Yeah...get on with the fic. We don't need to know the volume. >Radio: was the work of the enemy of Sailor Moon. Some think it >was Sailor Moon. Reno: And some people think that Nav is sane too. >TM: Reno: Two Monkeys? Rude: Tim Mcclees? Elena: No breaking 4th wall please! Uhh... Tide Machine? >{After the defeat of Ann and Al... Rude: (TM) I went to the bar, got drunk, and did the funkey monkey on the bar. Reno: Wasn't that you, Rude? Rude: [Blushes a deep red] Uhh.... forget what I just said! >Sailor Moon told me appear >what happen dealing will I was evil. Elena: (TM) I did stuff...that's all she said to me. Just stuff. >So it is Sailor Moon.} ALL: NANI!?! Reno: Hello? It said a HUGH GIANT MOTH IS ATTACKING THE CITY! SAILOR MOON HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! THIS FIC IS SO CONFUSING! THIS IS.... [Reno stops and then faints onto the ground] Rude: Reno? Elena: I think he passed out from all the pointless info. >Radio: This just in... Elena: (Radio) We are in a Thinker fic!! [Suddenly, lightning strikes Elena. She falls down unconsious] Rude: The Powers That Be (TM) I guess, didn't like those jokes. >that monster is here at the studios!! Rude: (Monster) Play the Backstreet Boys constantly or else! >TM: I wonder what team of evil is going to bring down the house! Rude: Elmo? Hanson? Barney? (Chuckie impression) Nobody knows.... >************************************************************* [Reno gets up from the ground] Reno: Oww...my head. Rude: Welcome back, Reno. >[Streets] Reno: Nothing special...just a street. You know, a Generic Street, like Elm Street. >(Cars have been crashed, smashed, mashed, craked Rude: At your local civic coluseum! Call for Monster Truck Madness! >as nersovaly >wreack people as Fasta is fly in like a uncontroll airplace. ) [Elena gets up, looking ruffled from the lightning] Elena: Damn, that hurts. Rude: Welcome back, Elena. Reno: Why do I have a feeling that a Los Angeles Jet will be flying by right about now? >Voice: Yo, Big Motha Reno: You forgot a word. *BLEEP*! If it was that, I have to agree with the voice. Rude: Dammit, Reno! This is supposed to be rated PG-13! >Fasta: How are you? Elena: I'm doing fine actually, but we are stuck on a satellite and need your help...oh wait...you were talking to the voice. >Voice: I'm Sailor Moon. The Leader of the Campions of the Justice >of Tokyo. On behalf of the Moon, you going to get you wing clip. Reno: (Usagi) I just happen to have the right tools and have a PHD in it to clip your wings correctly! >Fasta: Big Mouth, Sailor Sap. Elena: Again with the Sailor Sap! Listen, the Sailor Senshi are not from trees!! STOP IT! >Ice Queen: Nice Pun! Rude: (IQ) Even if you did rip off mine. Hehee...LAWYERS!! >Fasta: Thanks! Reno: Elena, Rude...Kill me. Elena: Nah...you're going to suffer with the rest of us! >[Sailor Moon, Sailor Mars, Sailor Merucry, Sailor Earth appears >at the stop] Rude: (Usagi) Hey...We can't attack the monster. We are at a stop sign. We got to wait for the monster to move first...See? [Elena makes bone crushing sounds] Rude: (Usagi) AIIEEE!! >Fasta: You can't win. Elena: (Fasta) Oh wait.. They can. The writer goes for the good guys....D'OH! >Sailor Earth: EARTH QUAKE POWER!!! Reno: Funny, I kind of wish I was playing Quake right now. >[The green orb of Sailor Earth missed the monster] Rude: (Fasta) Nyah! Nyah! You missed me!! >Fasta: Ha Ha Ha Ha!!! Elena: (Picard) Initiate the Generic laughter of bad guys....NOW! >Sailor Merucry: MERCURY BUBBLE BLAST FREEZE. >[The bubble are flap by the fast wings of Fasta] Reno: Flap? Congrats, Thinker! You just made a new sound effect! Elena: Testing time! Reno: OK...Wha? *FLAP* *FLAP* OWW!! Elena: Thanks for the idea, Thinker! >Sailor Mars: MARS FIRE INTINGE!!!! Rude: Intinge? Reno: (Rei) I'll intinge you....whatever that means. Ami, you got a dictionary of Thinkerism? Elena: Thinkerisms? I think we just created a new wording system...like Oscarisms! >[The fire attacks the head. The antennas on top of the monsters >suck up the fire. [Reno makes a slurping sound Elena: (Fasta) Man! That was good! What other flavors are there? Rude: The Icee sketch, ladies and gentleman. > Fasta lauchs two of her legs that looks like >humans heads at Sailor Moon until a red appears] Reno: Leg-heads...how original.... Rude: And what is Nanaki doing here? >Tuxedo Mask: What evil dare to hatch a monster like you? ALL: DR.THINKER!! >(The Ice Queen appears) Elena: It's confirmed. Magic show dudes *are* making the special effects for this part. Reno: (Magic Show guy) Now watch my hand. I will make my thumb disappear. [Does the little thumb thing in which everyone knows] See? Rude: I rate it better than this fic, I'll say that. >Ice Queen: It me you have to deal with. Fasta get them. Elena: (IQ) ...Their Jolts and Pizza. Reno: (Fasta) Righty-o! Are they taking American Express or Visa? Elena: (IQ) America....oh wait...make them stay their 30 minutes THEN get their stuff. >[Fasta running like a wind against each of them.] ALL: (Singing Wierd Al's Song 'Gump) Run...Run like the wind now. Run.... STOP! >Moon: I hate running. Rude: (Moon) I always hurt something when I do! Especially my stomach! Now that hurts! >MOON SCEPTER ELMITION!!! Reno: And so, she eliminnates the Scepter using a toilet and the Washu Atomizer 2000 and gets killed by the monster. The End. >(Fasta becomes a cell and turn brown and then turns to dust) ALL: EWW!! Reno: That's kind of sick! Almost sounds like something similar to 'Out Poops Sailor Mercury!' >Ice Queen: This is the lastest time you will ever win. Become I >going to drestory you. Elena: (IQ) I can't destroy you. It says here I have to *Drestroy* you. It's right beside Cleaning Laundry. >Mercury: Some change me...she meet me atlervene of me. ALL: NANI!? Reno: (Scotty) We need more power, Captain. Rude: (Kirk) But...we need...to...decipher...the sentence! >Moon: MOON CRYSTRAL POWER!!!!!!! >(The blue coat fades to be replaced by a blue togra) Elena: Togra? Reno: You know, he may mean Toga... [Everyone stares at each other] Rude: (Peril Forester) Hey Everybody! Toga Party! ALL: TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! Rude: (Peril) Yeah Toga Party! >Athena: Ouch? Look like on Earth. 1994? ALL: NOO!!!! Reno: Go back to Mount Olympus, Athena! Please do so! Rude: Athena was a Sailor Scout? ARGH!!!! I need ASPIRIN!! >Sailor Moon: Yes! Elena: And how does Athena know about the future? I thought that was Pluto's job! Reno: (Montoned sales man via Motel 6) Come to Plot Hole world and we'll leave the light on for you. >Athena: Let's chat somewhere. I going to some time Rude: So they chat in the sewers, meet Jonathan Brisby and he kicks their butts. Fin! Reno: So...anything on TV tonight? >********************************************************* >[Temple's Pit Room. Elena: Where all the *lovable* vipers are! >Raye, Serena, Lita, Mina, Amy, & Athena are >sitting around the pit. Felios is talking.] Reno: (Felios) ..and so Snow White got her dream to come true and married some ignorant prince. Rude: (Usagi) But what about the drawves? Reno: (Felios) They all became pissed because they didn't get any money out of it and became postal workers. >Felios: She is the Light Master Mercury. Elena: Oh brother. Reno: First, Neo-Scouts, then Molly and the Wiseman, NOW LIGHT SCOUTS!! HELP!! [A box of asprin comes out of midair and lands on the ground.] Rude: Huh? [Looks in the box] ADVIL!! WE ARE SAVED!! Elena: THANK THE LORD!! > A master of Ice and Fog >in another dimision. What happen? Elena: You were sucked into a crappy fanfic. >Athena: In this dimision, Queen Beryl was not jealous of you. But >happy for you. ALL: NANI!?! Reno: Oh well..I'm not nitpicking [grabs a bottle of asprin and gugs it down. Rude: Yeah...but the though of Beryl as a good guy gives me the willies! >Neglios get in. Elena: (Athena) They had a full force of Hamsters and Syrup... It was horrible. >So it do a full power attack on >the moon. Reno: So...The Neglios comes and is pretty pissed. Is that right? Rude: Apparently so. >Queen Beryl angry..allow the Neglios. Elena: (Athena) ...to do the Macarena while Marrilyn Manson was in the crowd. >Serena: Who is Neglios >Felios: The Nega-Forces of Course. Reno: Darth Vader better not have heard that. It sounds like a direct rip-off from Star Wars. [By Magical Plot Contrivence, Darth Vader appears.] DV: In fact, I have heard of the Neglios, and after the writing of this fic, I have destroyed them using my superior powers. And this Thinker guy does good work for the Dark Side as well. [DV disapeers] Rude: Well...that was interesting. >Serena: Athena, can you should be have you become a scouts. Rude: (Athena) Lemme think....NO. >Athena: [sliming] Elena: Sliming? Reno: Nickelodeon must have gotten this fic before us. >Yes! LIGHT MERCURY POWER!! Reno and Rude: Wonder Twin Powers....ACTIVATE! [Nothing happens] Reno: How come nothing ever happens when we do that? We don't even get a fanfare! Elena: Basically because CrowBar is tired and doesn't want to. Rude: Oh. >[Athena turns into a blue sailor suit with 2 white bows on them. >She also has a blue taira with a white jewel in it.] Elena: Yeah Yeah...whatever you say. Just rip off from Usagi why don't you. >Athena: Amy can you do the same? Reno: (Ami) Rip-off from Usagi's Look? Sure! Just let me ask the author! >Amy: OK! MERCURY STAR POWER! [Amy turns into Sailor Moon] ALL: !_! Reno: [gags] Rude: Oh god...now Ami is a ditz? Oh man... >Serena: The suit of Athena is quite different from Amy. ALL: DUH!! >I wonder >who is going to be are next problem. Elena: (Rei) Usagi! Ratliff Gas! Run!!! Reno: (Japanese guy) Godzilla! Godzilla! Rude: Watch out! Lord Thinker is ahead!! >***************************************************************** >Time Lady: What you have been pick to fight the Scouts. Reno: [looks around] Who's she talking to? > I have >the future of you... Rude: (Time Lady) Just let me shake up my magic 8-Ball. >HEALED like Athena. Reno: Gee. I wonder why? >Fire Queen: Go take a bath in flames with out you time stick! Elena: (TL) Ok! I will! I'll just turn on the flames and not get in! Is that ok with you? Reno: We are gone! [The 3 exit the theater] [Door Sequence] ---- [SOS Arcade Room- The 3 sitting in a corner near a TV] Elena: Well, that was fun. Reno: Yeah....There were more plot contrivances than a Ratliff fic. Rude: [Gugging down some Advil] You said it. And Molly being the Wiseman? God! Was that bad? Reno: Sounds like the winner for some Mally Award. [Elena grabs the remote] Elena: So since Rufus isn't gonna call, what do you guys want to watch? Reno: What about Mystery Science Theater 3000? Elena: Huh? Reno: Oh. It's a show about a guy in a jumpsuit on a satellite with two robots that riff bad movies. It's pretty good. Rude: Sounds unrealistic. Elena: But but sounds cool. Let's watch it. [The TV is turned on and switched to the Sci-Fi Channel where familiar music is heard] In the not distant future, somewhere in time and space... ___________________________________________________________________________ [Feel free to hum the Turks Theme now] Well, there you have it. After a long wait, I have those parts out! Please E-mail me with your comments and such. I am thankful that Thinker likes it as well and he even used Reno and Rude for the AAA interlude of his ()-). Anyway, yadda yadda yadda....and I need some aspirin. I will be back with 4 more gruesome parts to the saga. TTFN!! August 3, 1998