§--(Turn off your life)--§ (I don't know. I just felt like it.) And hey! Guess what? EVEN MORE... Sailor Moon: Neo-Scouts - MSTied! Parts 13-16 (You are at the beginning of the end. Part 13) Written by Dr.Thinker MSTied by John 'CrowBar' Hurst Send any C&C to MakoReno@aol.com http://crowbar.cjb.net/ Experiment No. 204 Hello again! I'm back with even MORE Neo-Scouts! I'm just about to go crazy, and probably will at the end of this series. Anyway, this is my 9th MSTing (Or my 10th if you count team MSTings). Enjoy! _________________________DISCLAIMER DATCLAIMER_____________________________ Sailor Moon is owned by Toei inc. and DiC. MST3K and everything affiliated with was created by Joel Hodgeson and is owned by Best Brains Inc. The Turks, Shinra, Rufus, Etc. are owned by SquareSoft Inc. This fic is owned by Dr. Thinker. I have his permission to MST this, so you may not flame me or him for the MSTing or the story. This is merely a form of C&C. Please have a sense of humor when you read this, Dr. Thinker ()-). ____________________________________________________________________________ CUE THE THEME! In the not to distant future, I'm not really sure when. Reno and the Turks went, On a Space Mission. But Rufus had a different plan, to trap them up there, man, And now the 3 are stuck up there, and they don't know what they are doing there. (Reno: HELLLPPPP USSS!!) (Rufus singing now) I'll send them stupid fanfics, the worst on this Earth, (La La La) They'll hafta sit and watch them all, and they'll want to be back on this turf. (La La La) (Return to original singers) Keep in mind they can't control, where the fanfic begins or ends. (La La La) And the only way to keep sanity, is to riff how bad fanfics can be... TURK ROLL CALL Cambot (We're live!) Elena (We must do this!) Rude (Don't call me baldy) REEENNNNOO (Allright, Baldy) If you are wondering how they got up there, without a descent rocket and other stuff. (La La La) Just repeat to yourself 'It's Just a show and It's really just fluff.' For Mystery Turkish Theater 3000 [Guitar Twang] ---------------------------------------------------- [SOS Bridge- The Turks are all on the Bridge. Reno has a newspaper in his hands] Rude: [Looks at Reno, and does a double-take] Hey! How did you get the paper? Reno: Oh, I convinced Heidegger to send one up here. Anyway, I put a personal ad in the paper. Elena: How did you do that? Reno: Same way with the paper. [Flips through the paper and eventually finds it] See? Here! [Elena takes a look at it.] Elena: Let's see... [starts reading] Looking for girl who's cute, must enjoy reading fanfiction. Look for on the Satellite of Shinra. Rude: Wasn't that just a tad vague, Reno? Reno: Actually, It took me 20 minutes just to put that. Rude: Oh. [The communications light flashes on and off] Elena: Huh? Who would be hailing us? [The HectoScreen opens up and reveals a odd bandwagon with a woman, a guy holding a brain, and a hairy guy. Can you take a crack at who this is?] Woman: Hey, we are looking for a Reno? Reno: Uhh.. yeah. This is him. May I ask who are you? Woman: I'm Peril Forrester. I saw your ad in the paper and decided to check you out. Rude: [whispering to Reno] Dammit Reno! Now look what you did! That's that Dr.F guy's mother. Or so I've heard. Reno: [Whispering back] WHAT? Peril: So, where would you like to go on our date? Reno: Uhh... err... Listen, my name IS Reno, but I'm already taken. I already got a girlfriend [motions towards Elena] Elena: WHAT? I am.. [catches herself in the middle of what she's about to say] Oh. Uhh... Yeah. Reno: But I know someone who is just your type! Peril: [eyes narrow] Allright, so explain. [Reno starts explaining to her about 'this guy' as the Commercial sign flashes. Elena looks at it] Elena: We'll be right back. [Hits the button] **************************************************************************** [Scene- A allyway with Sailor Senshi standups. The annoying Mentos song comes up and Nav comes out with two M-60's. All of a sudden, his guns jam. Not knowing what to do, he grabs a Mentos and pops it into his mouth. Suddenly, the Sailor Senshi Standups burn to ashes. Then he just holds up the Mentos package and the screen freezes in place] Announcer: MENTOS: THE FRESHMAKER **************************************************************************** [SOS Bridge- Peril has finally left for 'that guy' while The 3 are chatting] Elena: You owe me BIG time, Reno. Reno: Well, sorry, but I needed a decoy. Rude: Well, at least I hope you learned your lesson. Reno: Yep! I shall only use those ads to trick people from now on! [Elena shakes her head.] Elena: Reno... [The MADs light flashes] Reno: Hold that thought. Jimbo and Ned are calling. [Midgar 13 - Rufus and Heidegger are both there.] Rufus: Hello, losers. I hope you had a *restful* sleep last night. [SOS- Everyone groans] Rude: You called 20 times during the night, sir. I don't see how. Reno: Actually, we are PISSED OFF! [Midgar 13] Rufus: I thought it would help you grow more insane. But you felt good enough to use the HectoScreen... again. Why is that? [SOS] Elena: Well, we had this little problem. We'll explain later. [Midgar 13] Rufus: I see. Anyhoo, it's time for your daily dose of hell.. err I mean fanfic. Today's is a... [SOS] Elena: Whoa! What about your daily experiment? [Midgar 13- Rufus realizes this and is outraged] Rufus: DAMN! I knew I forgot something! Heidegger? Heidegger: [Running up to Rufus] Yes, sir? [Rufus punches Heidegger in the stomach] Heidegger: Oww! Hey! Stop it! Rufus: There. That's my experiment: To see how far my punch would do against Heidegger's stomach. Happy? [SOS] Elena: Can't you just do that on Palmer instead? I mean, look at him! [Midgar 13] Rufus: THAT'S IT! Never, ever, criticize my experiments! For that, I'm going to send you the last parts of Neo-Scouts. Have a happy day. Heidegger, if you may. [Just as Heidegger is about to hit the button labeled 'Send Fanfic', a doorbell rings] Rufus: Never mind. Go get that instead. [Goes and hits the button. Heidegger runs off and gets the door] [SOS- The klaxons go off] Elena: Oh great. Reno: WE GOT THINKER SIGN!! [The 3 enter the door sequence] §§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§ [Door 6: It's a plain door. You twist the knob and walk through.] [Door 5: It's Akane's Mallet from Hammerspace. It whacks you in the head and you move on.] [Door 4: It's DJ Croft. You uppercut him and he runs off.] [Door 3: It's a Fanfics for Dummies manual. You move on, not looking at it. ] [Door 2: It's a Beseen.com chatroom. You hack into their systems and destroy it. ] [Door 1: It's a pair of Ray-bans. You put them on and continue.] §§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§ [The 3 enter the theater] Reno: I wonder who that was? [snickers] >Part 13 -- Bad Luck for Earth Queen. Elena: Uhh.. It's also bad luck for US! [motions towards the Part 13 section] > This part is the hunting for Malachite, which gets him and >addiently Beryl herself, and the Princess of Earth is appearing. Rude: Well, there goes all the action and suspense for the chapter. Reno: (The guy on UHF) Action? Action? We don't need no stinkin' ACTION! Elena: [Sarcastic] I wonder what's going to be happening next? >This is going to be great. [Everyone just snickers] >So stay with this. Reno: Stay with this fic and you get free Tupperware! Rude: (Real fast announcers voice) You must sign a 10-year deal and pay 100,000 dollars per year for this special offer. Void Everywhere. > > > > > > > > > > > Rude: Wow! That free space would just fill up your web server on AOL. Reno: If you need space in your fanfic, call 1-888-THINKER. >SAILOR MOON NEO-SCOUTS: PART 13 Elena: It keeps on going and going and going.... >"Bad Luck For Queen Earth" Reno: (Leonardo DiCaprio) I'm the queen of the world! [Rude Snickers] Elena: This is the story of Queen Earth's trip to the Dog Track. >[Temple] Rude: Welcome to the Generic Temple. This just look like a normal temple and nothing else! >Reeny: Moon! Mars! Jutiper! Venus! Earth! Mercury! Elena: (Rini) Shaggy! Scooby! Scrappy! Rude: Don't forget Doc! >We get a note. Reno: (Rini) Well, we HAD a note until I threw it away mistaking it for spam. >Serena: Does she just give up before Bad Luck kills her. Rude: (Rini) Nope! Remember, she's the bad guy. They have no will. Reno: Would that line work for a 'And we have title' riff? Elena: Nah, because everyone has beaten that joke into the ground. >Reeny: Ha Ha! Funny! But seriously, she send his is note. Reno: What? Huh? Nani? Rude: The newest line of shipment: People-Sending! Better than ValuJet! Reno: [Sarcastic] Well, THAT is reassuring. >Raye: Reeny read it! Elena: Whoa! Someone had a little too much Jolt. Reno: Suck-up. Rude: Those are also probably the only lines Rei will say as well. >Reeny: Ok! [reading the note] Rude: (Rini) You have been approved of a New Visa Platnium Card Mr. Rotch. Congratulations Mike. Oh wait... it goes to... Elena: Stop right there, Rude. >The power of Nega-Moon red male as >the power of the Blue hair warrior of the Nega-Verse. ALL: NANI? Reno: I miss the simple riddles already. Rude: Hmm.. maybe it's a Blue-haired Negaversian who has been sunburned. Elena: I doubt it, Rude. >Raye: She after Rude: (Rei) Someone we don't know. Reno: (Rei) Our Magic: The Gathering cards! We must defend our cards with pride and honor! Elena: (Rei) Bill Clinton with a pick-ax because of his 'Apology to the Nation'? >All: RUDDIUS!!!!! Reno: Long, lost, cousin of Rude. Rude: Hey now... >=============================================================== >[Sister's house] Elena: Where? Who's sisters? Rude: Well, Rei had a sister in one fanfic... Reno: Who's sister is it? Tonight on Unsolved Mysteries. >Raye: Were's Rubbius? Elena: WereRuebus... just what we need. Reno: Watch Rei turn into that girl who couldn't pronounce 'Werewolf' right. [Rude shudders] >Rubbius: Here. What up? Reno: It's Pimp Master Ruebus! Elena: Reno... >I thought you told me the Wiseman is >gone. Rude: (Rei) Well, yeah, But we had nothing to do tonight so we just decided to hang out over here until the fanfic blows over. >Raye: A new evil is appearance Rude: (Rei) ... In the fashion show has caused a new style. Elena: (Fashion Host) Our New Evil is wearing a nice long evening gown and a diamond necklace. Now, let's move on to our New Good Guy's appearance. >Mina: Look, there's Queen Earth. Reno: Thank you, Miss Exposition. Rude: (Mina) Let's go and say hi to her! I'm sure all she'll do is blow us to kibbles and bits! >[Queen Earth] Elena: Hmm.. I guess it was a false alarm. Apparently, Queen Earth must be a place they hang out. Reno: (Monotoned Announcer) Come to Queen Earth for all the great earth. >Sarah: Let's get her!!! But first. Reno: (Sarah) A song! Elena: If they start singing like the Spice Girls, I'm leaving! > MOON REMOVING ACTION!!! Rude: Why is Sarah using Usagi's attacks? It hardly makes any sense! Elena: Well, this whole fic doesn't make sense and you would expect a whole cupful of it now? >(Two crystral power of out.. Reno: Ah... The Crystal Power's of Out. These crystals give anyone stuck in a bad fanfic the power to get out. Use them now, Senshi. Rude: Don't you mean wisely? Reno: No. I MEAN NOW! >one of them is black, one of the >white) Elena: Obviously, The Crystals can't get cable worth crap. >Prisma: Ouch! Watch it! Reno: (Prisma) Sorry... it's my first time in the fic for a while, so I'm a little rusty. Rude: (Prisma) Ouch! Too much info in not-so-many words gives me a headache. Elena: You can say that again... [Reno is about to say it again] Elena: I didn't mean it! >(The crystral forms into Queen Beryl and Malchite. Rude: (Malachite) Thank goodness! Listen, NEVER let a fart before you get trapped into a crystal. Reno: Suddenly, the ladies trapped in those crystals in Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past come up and slap a lawsuit. >Malachite is >dressed a white version of Tudexo Masks outfit. Elena: Someone is ready for Otakon 99 already! Well, he needs to change the outfit to black and it would be Tux Kamen, but.... Rude: Looks like there was a shortage of clothing in his Green Room. Reno: Somewhere, Tux Kamen is crying. Elena: Over Usagi's shoulder, I bet. We haven't seen her too. > Queen Beryl is >dressed normal, but with out the earnings or the taira) Reno: (Beryl) I sense a odd presence... ACK! It's a Dr.Thinker fic! Rude: You knew we had to do it somewhere! >Queen Earth: Bad Luck! Elena: (Earth) I KNEW I should had waged against myself... waitaminute. Rude: (Earth) Well, I'm the bad guy though, so I guess luck IS against me and stuff. >[Dark Place] Reno: Well, this theater is pretty dark... Rude: Let's hope it's not here. >Dark Serenity: You get that one right! Elena: (DS) You have the advantage, Earth Queen. Reno: (Earth Queen) I'll take 'Failing Easy for $400'. >[Back at the sister place] Rude: This is the factory where you can get your very own sister! >Queen Beryl: What's happened? Reno: Well, [Takes a deep breath] Elena, Rude, and I went up to a satelite and are forced to view this fanfic. We had this Kali guy come up for a while and he was cool. We are still being tortured by this fic at this time. [gasps for breath] Elena: I give that rant a 5. Rude: Tom Servo has some pretty good rants. Maybe he can teach you something. >Malachite: Beats me? Reno: (Malachite) Oh wait... That's Zoicite's job. *POW!* Oww! Elena: Reno no Baka! Ack! I sound like Akane! [Reno snickers] >Athena: Something is helping to Sailor Earth, Moon. Rude: (Athena) RUN! SAILOR EARTH IS MOONING US!! Reno: Anybody care to make a Jeff Foxworthy joke here? Elena: Nah. Don't feel like it. >Phonia: That right! She turning Rude: (Phonia) around and showing her butt at us! AHH! Elena: Looks like this gag is going to run for a while... >(Sarah spining. [The Turks stare at her spinning] >She stop. [They suddenly stop] Reno: Oww. Elena: That really does a number on your neck... Rude: Well, there could have been a 'Fast-Forward' Scene. Reno: Don't mention any *SMAK* around us, Rude. > We see her foot or in emarld slippers, Rude: This just SCREAMS a scene from Cinderella Reno: I wish this fic would just turn into 'Cinder'. Elena: Foot or Slipper? Which do you prefer? E-mail Thinker and give him your votes! >we moves to see a green dress slimiar to Sailor Moon's Princess >dress expect no jewels on her hands or in her hand) Rude: And the descriptive Jewelry Sequence makes a reappearance! Reno: *Slimiar*? Do dresses come in Slim Sizes now? >The Guardins: HOLLY SMOKES--PRINCESS SORO!! Elena: Yes, a touching drama/comedy Star Wars wanna be. Holly Smokes in The Mask of Soro, never coming to a theater near you. >Sara: Me..I princess, I don't believe it!! Elena: Neither can we. Reno: (Sara) Now I can gloat to Molly about this and make her fight me in the future! >Venus: Look!!!! Moon has transformed too! Rude: (Minako) It's now a crescent! Reno: Transformed? Is Usagi a transformer now? Rude: That is a bad crossover idea, Reno. >(Serena as turn into Princess Serenity) Elena: Usagi plays as Turn Into Princess Serenity in this heartwarming part. Rude: Now I KNOW that their green rooms don't have enough clothing! They couldn't get a *Serenity* outfit. I guess they had to settle with this. >Sara: HOLY SMOKES!!! Reno: (Robin) Holy Lawsuit, Batman! Rude: Holy Smoke: For all your devil-killing deeds. >Mars: No kidding!! >Queen Beryl: That is a understand, Mars. Elena: Huh? A Time Hicup? In a Fanfic?? Rude: (Beryl) I will replace your 'kidding' with 'understand' and make you talk like Shampoo! HAHAH! Reno: Uhh.. Rude? That didn't make any sense at all. Rude: Well, neither does this fic. >[Dark Senitery] Reno: *Senitery*? Does he mean cemetery? Rude: (Announcer) Tornado rips through cemetery! Hundreds dead! >P. Soro and Princess Serena: Who are you? Elena: [Dark Voice] I'm Batman! Reno: (Bad Guy) I'm the evil guy! How are you good fellas doing? Nice to meet my rivals! By the way, great place you got here! >Dark Senenity: You, if you been habit by Queen Meltia, Rude: (DS) You would have sat on the couch all day watching exercise tapes! >one of >three lord of the Nega-Verse. Elena: [GULP!] Three? Houston, More incoming parts are about to hit! We have a big problem! Reno: (DS) Meltia would have been Lord of the Dance, but that was already taken. >Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!! Earth, remind you >place. Rude: (DS) ... Called Nekohanten? DS learned to talk like Shampoo there! >You not allow to return!!!! Reno: (DS) You never paid for your overdue books! Elena: (EQ) But Green Eggs and Ham was a fine book! Rude: (DS) If you return, prepare for the complete version of 'Sailor Moon Z!' [Reno and Elena shudder] Reno: My my... someone is dark today. >[Dark Seniternity leaves] Elena: (DS) Sorry, I'm just sore, that's all. Reno: ...leaving *Dark Senitary* and *Dark Serenity* behind. Rude: Grammar flares, don't you just love 'em? >Queen Beryl: Talk about I pain in the butt!!!! Rude: (Beryl) Trust me, it sucks when you know you are a pain in the butt. You should try it sometime and see how it feels! Reno: *Eye* pain? In the butt? Elena: Never mind, Reno. I'm not even going to ask. >Princess Soro: EARTH PRINCESS HEALING!!!!! ALL: AHH! Reno: That was all of a sudden! >Gina: Hi, ALL: GYAH! Rude: Two lines in a row! Reno: Thinker must be on Starbucks when he wrote this part. >I'm Light Earth Princess, Princess Gina. Elena: (Gina) I'm the new person that you won't be using! Reno: Crap! How did Sailor Utopia get in here? Rude: Who? [Reno Whispers to Rude what she is.] Rude: WHAT? Not another self-insertion! Reno: Yeah.. and damn fine selection for the AAA too. Rude: Remind CrowBar to submit that to Shinji. [Suddenly, the theater shakes] Elena: Wow! That must have been a 5.0 on the 4th-wall tremor scale! >[Terra looks at Princess Soro] Elena: (Terra) Excuse me, but, what is she smoking? And does it contain catnip? Rude: (Terra) Did you order the extra person, Soro? Because I didn't ask for this! Reno: (Soro) Uhh.. No. Well.. yes. It was a buy one get one free deal though! >Princess Soro: Terra? Who do I get out of this princess Rude: She finnaly figures it out and busts through the stomach as a facehugger. Oh the humanity! Reno: Welcome to Rude's Weird Zone, people. >Princess Serena: I have idea!!! Elena: (Usagi) Let's get out of this fanfic! Reno: (Usagi) Allright... it's a good idea, but it involves a Blow-Up Doll and some bacon. Rude: That was totally uncalled for, Reno. >Soro: What? ALL: SHE SAYS SHE HAS A IDEA! Elena: For some reason, that joke never seems to grow old. >Princess Serena: MOON CRYSTRAL POWER!!! ALL: AH! Reno: Stop scaring us like that fic! At least give us a warning! Rude: This fic has been sponsored by the America Annoying Society, The Emergency Broadcast System, and viewers like you. >[Princess Serena turns back into Sailor Moon) Elena: Not only that, but she also has the powers to change brackets into parentheses! Amazing! >Princess Soro: Exect!! Reno: Isn't that a pill or something? >EARTH STAR POWER!!! >[Princess Soro turns back into Sailor Earth) Elena: Naturally... Rude: (Thinker) Did I say Sailor Earth? I meant BEAN DIP! Elena: That didn't make any sense, Rude. >Mike: Reno: Cripes! First Terra from FF6 and now Mike Nelson! Rude: If Tom Servo was here, his head would have blown up 20 times by now. > I will go use Mike for my new name. Elena: So that leaves Mike with his new name.... Mike. Rude: Now I remember! Thinker said he would use Malachite's name as Mike! Reno: Actually, I would prefer to forget that part. Elena: I would prefer to forget this fic. >Beryl: Sounds perfect! But I prefer my orginal name, Mike. [Rude gags] Reno: No... That's... SICK! Beryl had a sex change? Elena: It could have been worse. She could have turned into a herm. Reno: You are not helping, Elena! Rude: [Stops gagging] Oh wait... she is talking to Mike about it. Reno: Yeah... but it is still SICK! >(Laughing is coming from all 4 ex-demons) Reno and Elena: (Generals) Hahaha.. our Queen was a man.. hahaha Rude: But... Reno and Elena: We know, Rude! >Darrien: You get use Queen. Elena: (Darien) We have them in storage from all those lemons we star in. Rude: (Car Salesman) Now if you don't come down here in a hour and buy a used queen, I will club this baby seal! Clubbing a seal for a better deal! > May people can to be Queen of some of >the Countries, France..England Rude: (Darien) Russia.... I heard they are looking for a princess there. Reno: Any minute now, those Anastasia movie lovers are gonna bust down that door. >...Spain..et cert . Elena: Ah... Et Cert: The country of Typos and Plot Holes. Rude: Let's call The Discovery Channel and see if they would do a special there. >Beryl: I will just us Mrs. for my name in front. Reno: (Beryl) Unless I'm nasty, in which I'll be called Miss Jackson. Elena: Oh, I thought Mrs. would be in the back. >Mike: Good, Princess Soro has been finded, and we are feed from a >bad dream. Rude: (Mike) The chickens ate us in that dream. Reno: Hmm... I wonder if we could grind this fic into chicken feed? >I which I want you killed Jadiete, Reno: (Mike) In fact, I still do! DIE! >Zoyitice kills >Nephrite, Zoyitice get killed my you, Beryl. I get killed from >Princess Sarena as a Moon. Elena: Just another day on your average Soap Opera. Reno: (Usagi) I'm not that fat! Luna! The evil general that turned good insulted me! Rude: (Luna) Well, you should be the size of the mood with all the food you eat! Reno: (Usagi) [Darkly] You're next on my list for that, Luna... >Beryl: That Dream was a nightmare, Mike. Elena: (Beryl) It had all these typos circling me and I was on the good... side. Well, crap. >I dream that I was >killing become we need power for the Nega-Verse. Rude: Ah, the famous 'I was a bad guy, but it was actually a nightmare and we are actually good guys' plot. Reno: (Scotty) I cannot dew it keptain! We need more power to decipher the fic! Elena: (Kirk) Well, do the dew then, Scotty. You don't need that much power to drink a Mountain Dew. God you get so emotional over stuff. Rude: Shameless Pepsi Product Plug #1. > But I was defear >by the Sailor Scouts and the Princess. Reno: (Beryl) You know, it is kinda nice to not have fear. Elena: Well, Usagi needs to go to the vet herself and be 'defeared'. Rude: (Beryl) I also got 'tutored' while I was there. Elena: RUDE! Rude: What? I don't get to do them much! Elena: More than me... >Serena: I hate to said this..but that was no dream. Reno: (Usagi) You ARE in this fic! Rude: (Usagi) We hypnotized you and did many things that will scar you emotionally for the rest of your life? Cool, huh? >Mike: I the rember we seeing Meltia on Earth. Elena: (Mike) She had some damn good burritos and tacos, being Meltia and all. Then she found this wierd talking dog and started a fast food chain. Rude: The Taco Bell Story. Reno: I think FOX has movie rights to that. >I was trying to >defeat myself. Rude: It's official! Negaverse Generals are suicidal! Reno: (Mike) [whiny] It's hard to beat me... it really is! >Beryl: The last one..that Meltia take over me, on this present >Earth. Elena: But then it would meant that it happened just now! Oww... My head hurts. [Holds head] Rude: In the next part, how about we all just knock ourselves out. Reno: Sounds like a plan to me. >If it was for that trick, Felios. She will have appear to >present. Reno: (Beryl) Bill Gates with the ultimate scheme for millions of dollars. Oh wait, Windows 98 was already done. >I swear on my planet, Reno: Say.... Elena: Baka. > Saturn, Reno: Oh. >I sorry. Rude: (Beryl) I burnt the pop tart. Reno: It's actually possible to do that! It hurts like hell if you try to touch it!! Elena: Thanks for the warning about your cooking, Reno. Reno: Your welcome... HEY! >Sailor Scouts: Huh?????? Rude: Let's do it again! ALL: OUR THOUGHTS EXACTLY! Elena: We have lost many question marks in the last great Thinker war. Reno: The Exclamation Marks were next, as a new enemy would reveal itself as 'The 6th Child'. Rude: We arn't even supposed to know about Hellstorm Evagelion! Reno: Bite me. >Beryl: Look like I have a lot of explain to do. [Rude hums the Clarissa Explains it All music.] Reno: (Beryl) You see... we are in the Thinker Zone and there is no excaping, M'Kay? >But I think I >rest of the today and explain Tokyo. Elena: (Beryl) Tokyo is the capital and largest city of Japan. It is the main center for many things, such as Japanese Baseball, Electronics, and Video Games. >Sailor Mercury: OK! Elena: (Ami) We have no free will anyway, so why not! >Beryl: His is my private outfit. Rude: (Beryl) He is nice and comfy! And he was just only a $10 one too! Reno: I'm glad I didn't say that riff. >(Beryl is dress in yellow shirt, purple pants, blue shoes, not >mend of the fine meltials.) Elena: Presenting... Insta Clothes Change! Better than those quick Ramen Noodles! Reno: Ironically, all the clothing was given to her by Goodwill. >Beryl: This is unusal I avoids spies. Reno: (Beryl) Especially James Bond... for some reason, he wants me. Rude: ACK! BAD MENTAL IMAGE! Elena: (Beryl) You see, I smuggled some salt in and stuff and they could be here... Waitaminute, you're ALL Spies! All of you! You'll never catch me! Reno: Zero to Psycho in... 4 seconds, Elena. >The first name of this fake >is the ancient god of raindow, Iris. Rude: A Rainbow god? Those gods in Ah! Megami-sama that arn't in work must REALLY BE desperete. Reno: (Beryl) She stares at the rainbows. That's her job. >Mike: Mrs. Beryl...good work and nice rain. Rude: (Mike) Nice Rain. Easy Rain. AHH! The Rain is biting me! Oww! Reno: (Beryl) Oh yeah... it's a acid breed. Forgot to say that. >Beryl: (laughing) Elena: (Beryl) Hehee.... I don't know why I'm laughing, but... Hehehe! >Nick: Things are different now, but as the one saying goes... Reno: May the force be with you. Rude: A fic a day will keep everyone away. Elena: Oh My God! They killed Kenny! You Bastard! >the >more things change, the more things stay the same. Rude: Which is exactly how this fic is doing. The same as part 1. >(Everybody laughing) Reno: (ALL) Hahaha... We're in a bad fanfic... hahaha! >[END] Rude: FINALLY! Reno: Let's go! [The 3 exit the theater] §§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§ [Door 1: It's where the ray-bans were. You put them back.] [Door 2: It's the remains of a Beseen.com chatroom. You walk by it.] [Door 3: It's a Fanfics for Dummies manual. You move on, not looking at it. ] [Door 5: It's Akane's Mallet from Hammerspace. It whacks you in the back and you fly through the door.] [Door 4: It's DJ Croft. You fly into him and knock him out, flying on.] [Door 6: It's a plain door. You bash straight into the door. You get up and move on.] §§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§ [The HectoScreen is already opened when The Turks arrive. It shows Midgar 13 with a frantic Rufus in the background, followed by Peril. Heidegger pops up on the screen] Heidegger: Hello, Turks. Listen, we have a little problem here. You see, this crazy woman busted in here and is now chasing my boss! What should I do? [SOS] Reno: Give us money. Rude: And some Nerf Bazooka's [Reno stares at Rude] Rude: Well, I thought it would be kind of cool for some Nerf guns up here. [5 seconds later, several bills and a couple of Nerf bazookas are in the hands of Reno and Rude] Elena: Oh yeah. We also need a whole bunch of Ramen noodles and Microwave Pizzas. Oh, and can we have a couple of good movies? [Several seconds later, the things Elena asked for appear.] [Midgar 13] Heidegger: Okok, Now will you help me? Peril: [In background] Yoohoo, honey boy! Play nice! Rufus: Not on your life, sister! [SOS] Reno: Ok, Heidegger. Just used the plot contrivance materia. [Midgar 13- Heidegger has a stunned look on his face] Heidegger: What? You mean, I just use this? [Holds up the materia and suddenly Peril disapeers to Deep 13.] You guys are mean! Having me send up all that junk and I had the answer in my hands! [SOS] Reno: Yeah, but thats our job description too, though. [Midgar 13 - Rufus runs up to Heidegger] Rufus: Thank you! I don't know what I would have done without you! Heidegger: Thank your friends up there for making me send stuff up there to save you! Rufus: What? [Turns to screen] Damn! Turks! You conned my best officer? I should kick your ass for that! [SOS] Reno: Well, it's right here whenever you want to! [You hear zipping sounds] Elena: BAKA! [backhands Reno] Reno: Oww! Hey! Rude: Besides, we did our job! [Midgar 13] Rufus: Well, it IS in your line of work. However, I'm going to punish you still by sending the rest of Neo-Scouts with no breaks! Heidegger, Send the hurting! Heidegger: But sir... Rufus: What? Heidegger: We haven't tested it at that power! The fic could break! Rufus: Shut up Heidegger and release the full power of NEO-SCOUTS! [Lightning clashes behind him] MWHAHAHA! [Lightning suddenly stops] Huh? Crap! I knew I shouldn't have bough El-Cheapo's brand of special effects! [SOS - Everyone is cringing] Reno: They can't do that... can they? Rude: Well, farewell, my friends. [Commercial Sign flashes] Reno: We'll be right back, people. Elena: [Panicking] WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!! [Reno hits the button] **************************************************************************** This is a Test of the Emergency Loser System..... If you can read this and puke at the same time... That's a wonder.... If you're buddies are Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble... You need a shrink... If you just suck... You're a loser.... Don't listen to this commercial... it's pretty lame... Remember that... **************************************************************************** PLEASE HEAD ON TO PART 14 §--(Continue with your life off)--§ (And hop on one foot while doing the hokey-pokey) And hey! Guess what? EVEN MORE... Sailor Moon: Neo-Scouts - MSTied! Parts 13-16 (The Middle point of nowhere has been reached. Part 14) Written by Dr.Thinker MSTied by John 'CrowBar' Hurst Send any C&C to MakoReno@aol.com http://crowbar.cjb.net/ Experiment No. 204 Continue through the Highway of Heck.... ____________________________________________________________________________ [The 3 enter the theater] Reno: You know, we only have 3 more parts left. How bad could it be? Rufus: [on intercom] Well, it's big for a Thinker fic. Instead of the 4 kb ones, it's a whopping 10 kb one! Am I evil or what? Reno: Guys, never mind what I said... we're doomed. >Part 14 - Trick Of The Acients. Rude: The Ancient trick of poker... always have several aces on you. Reno: First Terra, then the Utopia girl, and now Ancients! Why? Elena: No... that's *acients*, Reno. Reno: [sarcastic] Well, that makes a difference. >We learn what trick has sounded this to happen..and why? Elena: Thinker uses Radio Wave technology like noone else! Reno: Actually, that would be a pretty cool idea to do tricks by sound. Rude: (Thinker) This fic has been *sounded* in Digital Audio. > > > > > > Rude: Space: The final frontier Reno: These are the voyages of the Starship Not-so-prized. >Sailor Neo-Scouts: Part 14 -- THE TRICK OF BERYL Elena: From the makers of the Pool Trick tapes comes new tricks you can do to your friends! Hosted by Beryl, ex-enemy! Reno: Thrill as tricks like 'Turned from bad to good', 'Negaverse Sealing', and 'Freezing your pathetic generals' are all shown to you! Rude: The newest product from Thinker Dub Lab Co. >[Temple] >(We see purple shirted and dressed Beryl. Elena: And it's a darn good thing too that she is dressed! Rude: Beryl gets her clothes from the Daffy Duck Space Jam line of clothing. > She is at the temple >with all the Scouts.) Reno: This fic is brought to you by the Redundency Department of America. Rude: And Viewers like you. Elena: (Beryl) Listen, these cookies bite! I mean, they taste like cement! I have one by my door and it's the best doorstop I've ever seen! >Beryl: I sorry, about what happen. Reno: (Beryl) At the IHOP with the pancakes... Rude: (Usagi) Actually, I can't forgive you right now, Beryl. I'm trying to think of ways to kill you... D'OH! Spoke out loud! >Moon: Don't be, it was that your were full of the Nega-Verse. Elena: More like bullsh**. Reno: Hey! Our censor is back! Rude: Really? Rufus! YOU *BEEP!*! WHAT THE *BEEP!* ARE *BEEP!* DOING TO *BEEP!* US! Elena: Rude... cut down on the Citra, buddy. >Beryl: It is for me to trying trick Serenity out the Earth Stick. Reno: (Beryl) IfyaknowhatImean! Elena: Baka... >I will haven't been invating for Melita. Elena: *invating*? Reno: Yes, you too can try the newest form of relaxzation! *Invating!* Rude: Comes with Free Sodium and Sulfuric Acid. Elena: Shameless 'Horror of Party Beach' joke No.1. >Terra: Holy Smokes!! Rude: (Terra) I just found out I am a cat and realizing why this mexican sayin-jin is chasing me! Reno: This is a No-Oscar Zone, Rude. Remember that... Rufus: [On intercom] Oscar? Hmmm... Elena: Dammit, Rude! You gave Rufus ideas. [Blinks] Hey! The censor is gone again. That was quick. Rude: So I guess I can't say *BLEEP!* Reno: Maybe they just censored Baldy, like Piccolo from DBZ. Rude: That's not funny! I'll send you to another dimension! Huh? [Reno snickers] >Beryl: You can say that again, but I think by brain whats you to >do that. Elena: (Beryl) The Mother Brain that is. Reno: Samus Aran's going to come in any minute now... >Terra: Huh? ALL: OUR THOUGHTS EXACTLY. Reno: The tendency to make that joke is never enough. >Sarah: So what was the trick. Rude: (Beryl) Oh... it was my secret recipe to C-ko Cookies. [Elena stares at Rude] Rude: What? Reno: (Beryl) The trick is that I'm still a bad guy... Damn. I shouldn't had said that. >Beryl: It started over trillion years. Elena: (Beryl) Mary Kay wasn't invented yet, so everyone looked horrible. Reno: A long time ago, in a Thinker fic FAR, FAR, away. Rude: I wish this fic war FAR, FAR, AWAY. About 3 light years or more at least. >We have just win a battle >again a small lord of the Nega-verse. We Rude: (Beryl) Called him a loser and gave him a swirly. Ah, life was great back then.... Reno: (Beryl) Stopped in a middle of sentences a whole lot. Having no basic culture three trillion years ago sucked. >-------------------------------------------------------- Elena: Next race: The 100 meter dash. >[Astroid Belt] Reno: The best belts money can buy. Rude: Now come in planatary sizes. >Beryl: We get good news, and bad news. Elena: (Beryl) Well, The bad news is that we are still stuck in a Thinker fic. But the Packers won the super bowl! Reno and Rude: WOO! PACKERS WON THE SUPER BOWL! WOO! >Marica: What's the bad news. Reno: (Beryl) Uhh... Akane came to the sleep over with her prized 'Bean Dip'. Elena: I hope she smites your ass for that one. Rude: Actually, I think smiting is Marissa's job. Elena: Oh. >Beryl: Why we were out hunting down Lord Solomus. Reno: (Elmer Fudd) Shhh... I hunting Solomus. [Does the generic laugh of Elmer Fudd] Rude: Ahh... the great hunting of the Solomus. Seeing a Lord Solomus being killed by a gunshot wound and such is a beautiful sight indeed... [Reno slowly backs away from Rude] >All of the >battles were drestoryed. Elena: (Beryl) Therefore, we went to KFC and spent all of our War Budget on crispy wings. Hope you didn't mind. >Messila: What's the good news? Reno: (Beryl) I lied... there is no good news. Well, not if you count free Pee-wee Herman dolls in the backroom. [Elena and Rude shudder] >Beryl: This universe..has 10 planets. Rude: (Beryl) Well, HAD 10 planets. We blew up Planet X last night. Reno: Our 10th planet formed from Cindy's Cheese dip and some aerosol and grew into a abnormal size. Then, a plot device ate it. Elena: Uhh.. Yeah, Reno. Whatever. Rude: We got to pull him off the paranormal spam boards. Reno: But.. we CAN save the world from Armageddon with spandex! Elena: I have to agree with you, Rude. And fast! >Messila: But they're only 11 scouts. Elena: And each one of them trapped into lemons every day! Reno: (Messila) You know what that means? We have to kick a girl scout out of the group! It's so much fun seeing their faces when you say that... >Beryl: Serenity might be willing to closes to what every planet, >that Gaiga might take. Rude: Huh? Reno: I didn't know that you can buy your own planet. Rude: The future of Remax. Elena: (Host) This planet has a very nice atmosphere, lots of water, and plenty of exotic animals to beat the crap out of. And it's only several gazillion dollars! >Serenity: Line up!!!! ALL: GYAH! Elena: Don't do that! Reno: Any more of those surprises and we'll pass out! >[We see the line moving quickly. Beryl is the last one in line] Rude: (Beryl) Damn! Out of all the times to return those socks from Christmas... Reno: Actually, this is basically the Mcdonalds Drive-Thru. NOTHING beats a Christmas return line. >Serenity: Beryl. What planet's is us. Reno: (Serenity) IfyaknowwhatI.... nah, the joke doesn't seem the same if you can't understand it. Even if it DOES sound sick. Rude: Is it a statement or a question? Nobody knows... >Beryl: The one with rings on it. Elena: Uhh... There's a few planet's with rings on it Reno: Nitpicker... Rude: See the planet that wears Claire's Jewelry! >See good to me. Elena: Oh...kay. Reno: Beryl must specialize as a eye doctor too... or something. It's hard to tell with all the confusion. >Serenity: Have a good race. Rude: (Serenity) Because I can't afford to lose, and if you do.. [imitates gun cocking sound] Reno: (Serenity) Because I'm going to commit genocide on your people.. WHOOPS! Spoke out loud again.... Elena: It is dark riff day in the theater! >Beryl: What about you? Rude: (Serenity) Well, noone invited me to the race so I'm going to get drunk and hit on some lame-assed peasent. Sounds fun, huh? Elena: (Beryl) You're going to probably send pictures of me to the National Inquirer again, right? Reno: (Serenity) Oh no, Beryl. I just plan to send them to the Daily Sun and tell everyone you're a bad guy! >Serenity: Right here. Rude: (Serenity) Right now, baby! In front of everyone! Reno: That's sick, Rude. Even for me. >I just moving it closing to Gaiga's planet. Reno: Sayy.... Elena: Baka.... >Beryl: What are your going to call it. Rude: (Beryl) Are you going to call it a statement or a sentence? Reno: Enough with the grammar flares. Elena: Rude's head should have been blown up by now. Reno: Nah... thats because he used about 10 bottles of the Asprin stuff. Elena: What? Rude: [Woozy. Singing] Look at the room go round and round. Round and round, round and round. [Passes out] Reno: O...kay. >Serenity: Moon. Elena: (Serenity ala James Bond) Sailor Moon. Reno: BAH-DAH-DAH-DUM! [Is supposed to be the James Bond theme. Pretty bad, huh?] >Beryl: Sailor Moon, has a nice ring it. (giggles) Rude: [Wakes up] Just ring it! Reno: Welcome back, Rude. Elena: *Ring it*? Reno: The newest type of rings! Ring it! it automatically snaps on your finger, crushes your veins and make you have surgery to get your finger removed! >=============================================================== Elena: Fanfic plus any form of lines equals instant scene change! Reno: Nice equation. >[Temple] Rude: I'm sorry... I just cant think of how to do a Shirley Temple joke here. Elena: Please don't. >Beryl: Must of his have to us magic to get the planet to grow >with live... Reno: Oww... My head hurts... Rude: Too many to's in there can cause extreme pain. Elena: This fic is like placing a band hall next to a Migraine Research Center. >expect for Queen Gaiga. >Other people who hate the >other planets, come to Earth. Rude: (Beryl) Disneyland had broden it's tourism borders. Reno: It's already been to hell, Rude. >Gaiga was pleased. Elena: (Beryl) For her servants have done something very *nice* for her Reno: ELENA?!? Elena: What? I don't get my fair share of tasteless jokes? > She was electred >the Queen of the Planet by other. Rude: Ouch... that had to hurt, being electrocuted like that. Reno: [Singing] Flash before my eyes... now it's time to die! Rude: Electrifying, isn't it? > Each of the Queen were a part >of the Elder Scouts. Elena: (Beryl) Their main job was basically sitting on the porch and making fals stories that scarred kids for the rest of their lives. Neat, huh? Rude: (Serenity, Old) Why in my days, we didn't have this DiC crap you kids have. We only had GREAT anime and we had to walk 15 miles in the snow to get it! We also had NICE neighbors, like Fred Flintstone, not like you kids have. Why, back in the war.... >Scouts in Queen Serenity old take >means...warriors. Rude: ...of virtue. Reno: The crappiest movie probably ever thought of! Elena: No, that award goes to Air Bud 2. >I was the Elder Scout f Saturn. Reno: Isn't 'F' a Oscarism? Rude: No... Thinker would never stoop so low to use Oscarisms Reno: Well, he did! Elena: (Beryl) I hated being Saturn. I never did anything. Meanwhile, the INNER elder scouts got all the work. All show them... I'LL SHOW THEM ALL! Uhh... Whoops! Sorry, that wasn't part of the script. Anyway... >A new baby >was a shocked. Rude: Oww.. Reno: Two eletrifying puns in one scene! Elena: (Baby) Oww! Hey! Don't electrfy me! I'm cute! OW! Rude: Shouldn't we like call Child Abuse or something? >The first one to have was Queen of Merucy, >Messila. Reno: Well, at least we know it wasn't the Queen of *Mercury*'s baby. Rude: (Beryl) You see, Mercury got drunk at our drunken barn dance, and well... you know what happened from there. She was quite the party animal. > We were all evinted to the Mercury Royal House. [Elena hums some ochestra song] Reno: *Evited?* A invintation through e-mail? Rude: They have done everything else, so why not? Elena: (Beryl) Did I say house? I meant Rumble... Rude: There's a event I would pay money to see! >=========================================================== >[Mercury Royal House] Reno: I just hope this isn't a replica of the British Royal Family. Rude: Paparazzis are just storming the fence by now... >Queen Serenity: What are you going to call her? Elena: (Messila) Ugly Bastard, Loser, Runt, Twerp... Oh, you meant by NAME! Sorry about that. >Beryl: Might should she pleasing you. Rude: Oh that's just plain sick. Reno: Beryl's normal hating senshi self finnaly has risen from the grave. Elena: Beryl: Bad Guy, Negaversian Leader.... taunter. Rude: (Beryl ala Weird French Guy) Now go away before I taunt you a second timer! >Queen Messila: I will name her Amy. Rude: Suddenly, the baby cries, realizing it's in a bad fanfic. Reno: I would too if I was in this fanfic. > Felios said that she will be >very short..but very smart. Rude: Grr... Elena: Uh oh... Reno: DUCK AND COVER! [Reno and Elena duck behind the seats] Rude: How dare you make fun of Ami's height! She's the smartest one and if it wasn't for her in many situations, the Senshi would have died by now! She also has a wicked computer! So she's a tad short. So? Messila shouldn't be saying negative things about her! In the name of SVAM, I shall punish... [The SOS shakes and Rude falls down, back in his seat. Elena and Reno get up and walk to their seats as well.] Reno: Very nice rant there, Rude. Elena: I give it a 8. If it wasn't for a tremor in the 4th wall, he would have gotten a 10! >Beryl: I hope this will be good!!! Elena: (Beryl) The King of the Net is on tonight! Rude: (Messila) Really? Cool! But, I have to feed my baby... Elena: (Beryl) Forget the baby! The fanfic will make sure she's nice and strong. Rude: (Messila) Oh yeah. I forgot. >===================================================== Reno: I miss *dashing* through the fic. Because I can't figure out anything that i can *equal* this fic to. >[Temple] >Beryl: You haven't bug me yet, Rude: (Beryl) But could you get the killer bees off my shoulders? It would help me get through with the story. >may be Serenity's traits are >beening past down, finailly. Reno: Uhh.. who's she talking to? Elena: Usagi... I think. Rude: Beryl must have been hitting on the weed again. Elena: (Beryl stoned) Oh man... Look at the colors! This is like one of those 60's shows! Reno: Either that or she's cracking up. >Raye: Don't you call on your scouts, until you find them. Reno: (Rei) It was your idea to start the international hide and seek game anyway! Rude: (Beryl) Well, you had to scare them out of the city with your flashing! >Amy: What happen next that state the trick that you played on >Serenity. Elena: [Usagi] Montana? I dunno. Reno: I'll take U.S. Geography for $500, Alex. >Beryl: Next, my old daughter, Reno: (Beryl) A 1978 model with a nice job on the paint and excellent structure. She also has a nice *bumper*, *front end* , and is a *automatic* >Eyla, was born. Elena: (Beryl) And left in a Disney World Bathroom. Rude: Eyla? Demented Wierdo Half-Sister or Ayla? Reno: Please... they already sucked Terra in. >I vited all of the >people to come to. Rude: (Beryl) But because my invitations said 'Death in the Family' or something, Everyone just called me and apologized for some reason. >Some people had daughter aslo, Mars, Jutiper, >and Venus. Reno: Aww... The bushes are mating. Rude: (National Geographic Host) Today is lovely day and we are now going to see the rare matign call of the bush. Hear it? Elena: (Member of the Audience) What? Rude: (National Geographic Host) Never mind. It was just a Tree with it's mating call. >============================================================= >[Saturn Caslte] Reno: The castle who dares to give itself a french name! >Queen Marica: Some poeple just like to name people after them >selvies. Reno: (Southern Accent Marica) Them Elves are cute as hell, boy. Almost enough to name a baby after. Anyway, want some beans? Elena: The new fad with Pod People: Naming your child after Elves! >Beryl: Marica, Eyla is spelled E-y-l-a. My name is spelling B-e- >r-y-l. Reno: *INTENSE* *SPELLING* *ACTION!* Rude: And my name is spelled R-U-D-E. Elena: (Beryl) You know, my name is a pretty good speller. Rude: Elena! Stop stealing my schtick! >Messila: Don't mind her, she always a bit on the watch, because >of her Raye. Reno: [Singing] Her raye of sunshine. She makes her happy... Rude: (Marica) Oh, I guess it's a clue to get me off the grandfather clock then huh? >She will be care for her by herself. Elena: Well, that makes sense... huh? Reno: (Rei) I can take care of myself, mommy! I just need to find your secret stash of money and drugs and.... >Vena: This is my daughter, Princess Mina. Rude: (Vena) She's the stripper you ordered. Elena: Rude.... Reno: I wouldn't even do that riff, Rude! >Beryl: Wasn't you home named that, Vena? Reno: (Vena) NO!! I was home-named Vena! God! Elena: Home-named! Cheaper than Hospital-Named by 75% >Venu: One of the towns on the Moon of my planet was that name. Reno: We're now go to our skycam of the village remains. Rude: (Vena) I did it... I name all my children after destroyed towns! I DID IT! MWHAHA... whoops... Uhhh, how's the cheese dip? >Litinos: Beryl, I have tough of one. May be you can help me. Elena: (Litinos) I can't pick up this stick. Rude: Meet the worlds weakest person! Next on the freak show! Reno: (Mr.Burns) Smithers, pick this tough of one up for me... >Beryl: I will help you. Litinos. How about Lita? Reno: (Litanos) She can help too! We need all the help we can get picking up *THE STICK*! Elena: Running gags... don't you just love'em? >Litinos: That you good. Rude: (Beryl ala Duke Nukem) Damn I'm good! Reno: (Beryl) Well... I *AM* Pretty good..... Elena: There is a materia labled 'Ultima' here for you Reno. Reno: [shudders] Allright! I'll stop with the riffs! I'll stop! >=============================================================== >[Temple] >Beryl: Next come the rest of the Outers: Neptune, and Uranus. Reno: [Snickers] Elena: Allright. I call no Uranus jokes here. Rude: What do you mean? It's just talking about *Uranus*. Elena: Grrr... never mind. >Serena: What about Pluto, it's another planet in the outer rings? Reno: (Beryl) Oh... Pluto was our prison camp. We had no queen there and stuff. But you could watch real cool PPV matches that were live from there in the prison! >Beryl: She sent a message that if we saw a green hair girl that >will be Pluto, Chrona. Rude: Will our mystery sender come out please? Reno: Don't think so, Rude. > Chronos hair color was black. Elena: (Beryl) Which disqualified her from the finals of our Queen Pluto contest. She was doing good until then too. Reno: The worst Marketing scheme since Windows 98: Chronos Color Dye. The EXACT same color as black! Rude: And people would actually buy that too! >Serena: We saw a green hair people where we were trying to save >our future. Reno: Keyword: Trying. Rude: (Usagi) Well, We tried saving our future from this fic, but we just ended up here anyway. Sucks huh? Elena: (Doc Thinker) Oh my god... they found me. I don't know how, but the found me. Rude: (Usagi ala Marty) Who? Elena: (Doc Thinker) Who do you think? The MSTiers! Reno: The Back to the Future sketch everyone. >And Reeny said she name was Chrona. Elena: Brother sister's mother of Crono... [shakes head] We gotta stop doing these types of jokes. Rude: Yeah... they are starting to get lame. >Reeny: I still don't trust her. Reno: (Rini) Well, it kind of gave it away when she invited me over to Akane's Cafe. [Rude and Elena shudder] >Serena: Back to the story, then, Beryl. Reno: (Beryl) Yeah... Coffee's about out anyway. I'll tell you about the rest of the story later. Rude: [Looks around] So... they weren't in the fanfic in the first place? Elena: No Rude. She means to get back into the Flashback. Reno: You know. At least this flashback is better than the game of the same name. >Beryl: Peace were good in this time. Rude: (Beryl) Buying stock in Peace was cheap as hell, but yet it dropped every now and then. Damn stock market. >About 10 years later, you >were born. Reno: Ahhh... memories... Rude: You know, you COULD actually imagine Usagi as a baby. Elena: How's that? Rude: Well, the fact that she cries a lot gives a good example. >Queen Serenity did invited us to the party. Reno: (Beryl) But I decided not to, so Queen Mercury and I got drunk at the bar. It's kind of fun seeing her drunk as heck. >============================================================= >[Moon Place] Rude: The place where people moon each other all day long. >Beryl: Serenity, you out did yourself. Elena: (Beryl) You slut, you. I didn't think you had it in you! Reno: Is it possible to actually out do yourself? I mean, think about it! I know it's a line used a lot, but just think about it! Rude: I rather not, Reno. I would like to keep my lunch in. >Serenity: That's was nothing. I hope the babies will like her. Rude: (Serenity) I'm sure the Full Nelson on Baby Usagi from the others was just playing around! >Beryl: I should hope so. Elena: (Beryl) If not, I always got the back-up tapes of Barney to calm them down. Reno: More like hypnotise, Elena. >=============================================================== Rude: Reseructed Villians Plus Turned goog guys equal crappy fanfic! >[Temple] >Beryl: Most of them expect for Raye like them. Reno: (Rei) I didn't like the god damn cheese cake, ok? Geez! Rude: (Beryl) C'mon! I just got it from C-ko's Bake Sale! Elena: Maybe we should stop with these cooking jokes... >Raye: Old habits died hard. Rude: (Raye) "Fortunately, they gave him some morphine to ease the pain on the way out." Elena: Demi Moore's movie career died harder. >Serena: Don't mind her, conintue please? Reno: (Rei) Ok. Listen, Usagi, I think you are a *BLEEP* and *BLEEP* and.. Oh, you meant for BERYL to continue. Never mind. Just forget what I said! >Beryl: That Giaga had two babies, not twin, but month part with >in the same year, Princess Soroh and Price Darrien. Reno: Uhh... Is that a math problem? Because it's confusing as hell... Rude: We have secretly replaced Beryl with our Calculus Teacher. Let's see if they notice... >We were >shocked that she did not know who she will pick for the Scout. It >was about 15 years, 5 before I was filled with Neglios energy. Elena: (Beryl) That stuff made you high, man! It was kickin', that Neglios Energy. >=============================================================== >[Moon Place] >Beryl: What's wrong, Serenity? Reno: Insert your favorite 'Found out we are in a bad fanfic' joke here. Rude: (Serenity) They took my Pantene Pro V... It was horrible. >Serenity: (crying) Earth quited, I though she would have made a >choice. Elena: Technically, she did. Reno: (Serenity) But then I felt better after putting her in prison. It sometimes makes me feel better after doing that. >Serena should love Darrien still. Reno: (Serenity) And if not, I got my flamethrower armed and ready! > Felios has a bad >protected that you will become the next lord of the Nega-Verse, >when a monster forces you to play a joke. Rude: (Beryl) It's not the 'Hot-Water' joke, is it? Man I hate that one! >Beryl: Not me!!! Elena: Beryl IS 'The Not Me' Ghost from Family Circus. Rude: If they were in a fanfic, it would probably be the 'Dysfunctional Family Circus'. >=============================================================== >[Temple] >Beryl: Meanwhile, Reno: Bonnie and Clyde were making their getaway to their secret hideout! >I was teach my daughter about her powers as >Sailor Saturn. Rude: (Beryl) But she being a Author-Created charecter, she said no and forced me by some strange power to leave the room. >She was shortern than Amy, but when she was in >transformating. Reno: Transformating? Uhh.. I'm not even gonna touch that one. >She grows to Serena's height. Elena: (Beryl) With Special thanks to Miracle-Grow. >============================================================ Sailor Saturn: Mother, what are my powers? Rude: (Beryl) Oh... Well, since you were author-created, you can do whatever you want. Reno: (Eyla) Ok, Mom! I'll just send you over to the other side of Saturn and seduce the cute boy I met in school then! Rude: (Beryl) Wha? I didn't mean thaaaattt!!! >Beryl: Eyla, rember that you powers, Saturn Crystral Bomb, Reno: (Beryl) Sorry, but we ran out of crystals for the bomb, so you'll have to use these *Crystrals*. > Saturn Ring Launch, Rude: (Houston) We are about to launch some jewelry up into space in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... and we have go. > and the most power one..Saturn Sickle Void. Elena: (Eyla) But what good is throwing a farm tool into a void? I won't be able to make corn then! Reno: (Little Dog) Corn Flakes! Rude: What? Reno: Ehh.. Never mind. Noone is going to get that anyway. >(Eyla return to her purple grown with black crystral in them) Rude: So it is a purple grown... black crystal. Reno: Rude, we need you alive. Please don't try and figure it out. It will only hurt severally. >Eyla: I heard rumors of a Saturn who used Ribbion Death. Elena: (Beryl) Actually, that's the gift wrapper we hire to wrap our presents. Just never renegotiate the bill. Trust me. >Beryl: That is just a rumor. Rude: (Beryl) So eat your peas before they get cold or the Wolf Monster will eat you. Reno: AKA Kefkain. >Eyla: I understand. Elena: (Eyla) I'll go lock myself in my room now. You don't have to. Good night. >=============================================================== >[Moon Place] >Beryl: I will give you Eyla, Princess Serena. Rude: Nani? Did we miss a scene or something? Reno: (Usagi) Oh goodie! I got a new toy now! Elena: That sounded sick, Reno. > She made by >short..but....it is all I have. Elena: Oh... So Beryl is poor now. How nice. Reno: That's what happens when you open that Money Spam Mail. Rude: Do you think that Thinker doesn't like short people? [pause] ALL: Nahh.... >Serneity: Thank you, Queen Beryl. Rude: (Serenity) Now we won't have to buy a pot roast! Reno: That's dark, Rude. Real dark. >Beryl: Your are weclome. Elena: (Beryl) WOOHOO! I got rid of my daughter! Las Vegas, here I come! WOOO! >========================================================== >[Temple] >Beryl: 5 years before I Reno: (Beryl) .. Found the true powers of Beanie Babies.... Rude: Never underestimate the power... of a beanie babie. >was going to drestroy the Moon Kingdom. Elena: (Beryl) Well, I *WAS* gonna destroy it then, but then I thought maybe wait 5 years and get a vacation and stuff. > I >would like to chose for the Earth Scout. Reno: (Beryl) But then after giving my daughter away, they STILL wouldn't let me! Talk about luck, huh? >Sarah: So we giving down to bussiness. Rude: No. Business is never given away. Just ask Nabiki. Reno: Actually, she would charge for asking the question. >============================================================== >Beryl: I will find the Planet Earth Stick here.. Elena: (Beryl) And the rest of the items on the Treasure Hunt! MWHAHA!! Now I got to find a License Plant... I hope they won't mind me taking this one from Serenity's Ferrari. >and give it >Princess Soro, but push it into her heart. ALL: EWW! Reno: Beryl has turned sadistic pretty quickly. Rude: After appearing in all those bad Sailor Moon fanfics, Beryl finnaly cracks. >Serenity: Who there's? Elena: (Beryl) I shall kill Soro with the EARTH STICK! MWHAA... Oh hi, Queen Serenity. I wasn't talking about killing Princess Soro, Nosiree! Rude: (Beryl) It's Trumpy The Magical Elf. >(Beryl turns into a expect twin of Serenity) Rude: [sarcastic] Well, that wasn't expected. Reno: And suddenly, she gives Beryl a prize of 200 dollars for the best look-a-like contest! >Beryl: I'm Diana. [Reno and Rude snickers] Elena: Oh yeah... REAL GOOD disguise, Beryl! Rude: (Beryl/Diana) I'm not a evil bad guy! I'm just Diana. By the way, can I poke at Princess Soro with a stick? Whoops... D'OH! >Serenity: I did expect the gods or the goddess to help me out. Elena: (Serenity) What I didn't expect was Beryl trying to convince me that I had a twin sister! God is that a bad disguise! >Beryl: Always expect the unexpect from us. Reno: (Beryl) Like something in your pants. [Elena groans] Rude: Nobody expects... The Spanish Inquisition! Elena: The Unexpect: The movie. Expect it from us soon.... >Serenity: Diana, what are youing doing her. Reno: (Serenity) I'm just practicing some accent that almost sounds southern. You? Elena: (Beryl/Diana) Well, I'm just practicing the art of poking with a stick.... Damn... I shouldn't had said that. >Beryl: I can to give the Earth Stick to Princess Soro. Rude: (Beryl) And [imitating stupid snickers lady, with the little poke with the finger too.] Poke it at her. Poke it at her. Elena: Rude... you suck at impersonations.. Rude: Well, thanks for the feedbac... HEY! Reno: And NOONE is gonna get that joke.... NOONE! >Giaga: Nice try, Beryl. ALL: GYAH! Reno: STOP THAT, fic! Rude: All these charecters have learned the art of appearing silently and passed with flying colors! >Darrien did not work. Elena: (Giaga) I returned him and got my money back. >Princess Soro is >missing. I can't find her anywhere. Reno: (Beryl) Oh... uhh... Don't mind the dead corpse then. Rude: (Giaga) All those damn missing children numbers and milk companies just took my money! And those *Psycotic* hotlines answer was to look somewhere! Geez! >Serenity: Nice try... Elena: (Serenity) ... By the way, A PENGUIN could have done a better job diguising himself! >I wonder you can do the god of Saturn. >(giggles) Reno: (Beryl) Well, if he ordered me to... *WHACK!* Elena: That's enough sexual innuendos for one day! >============================================================== >[Temple] Reno: Indiana Jones was searching for the holy grail when... Whoops! Wrong temple! >Raye: That's the trick!!! Reno: (Rei) So THAT'S how you turn nickels into dimes! >To bad it didn't want. Rude: (Rei) .. The Mccdonald Apple Pie. We got plenty of those. Reno: Ick! Those things are instant poison, Rude! >Beryl: That was the set-up trick. Elena: (Beryl) The trick to making your Sound Blaster work is much harder tan you think. > Back on Saturn, about 50 months >that trick appear Meltia as a god, Athena--the god of war and >wisdom. [Everyone laughs] Reno: Those two do NOT go together! Elena: (Citizen) Tell me, Athena. What's the secret to happiness? Rude: (Athena) A M-1 Tank and some Charly-4 make my day! >=============================================================== Reno: The top math professors are still stunned by the tough equation above! >Beryl: Who's there? Rude: Oh.. It's just us MSTiers. Don't mind us. >Athena: I'm Athena. You will be the next ruler of the Moon >Kindgom. Elena: (Athena) And you will be the official ruler too! You will be used in many different Moon Schools and such for math problems! You will be on the face of ALL 12 inch rulers! Rude: But, Athena meant... Elena: I know Rude... shut up. >Kill all people on the Earth expect for the prince. Reno: Charles? Rude: Actually, we would prefer him dead too. >Then >kill everyone on the Moon. Elena: (Athena) I'm sure they won't mind your genocide of the Earth and the Moon. In fact, I'm sure Mr.Hitler would congradulate you on it! >The other planet will bow to your >will. Rude: (Athena) The rest of the planets though... I'm not really sure about though. >Beryl: No!!! Reno: (Athena) Ok... Well, I'll go ask that person by the sidewalk then. Maybe he would like to be ruler of the Moon and stuff. Ta-ta! >Athena: Then, my the Power of the Gods...OF THE NEGA-VERSE!!!!!! Elena: (Athena) And by the powers of exclamation points! >Meltia order you to do at she saids. Rude: (Athena) Bring her a Cherry Coke and a Big Mac at once! >Beryl: Yes, my master!!!! Reno: Jeez! First no and now yes! She must have a hard time buying stuff at Target. Rude: (Beryl) Umm... I'll buy the shampoo. No! I won't! Yes I will; It's only a buck. No I can't! I'll have to charge it! AHH! >========================================================= >Beryl: It was a trick. Elena: [sarcastic] Oh really? >Earth was identited by lot of humans, will >to fight. Rude: (Beryl) No.. wait. That's the time when Beanie Babies were at Mcdonalds... >Zoyitice and Malachite hide the Princess Soro from me. Reno: (Beryl) She is now worth 200 dollars too. Damn those idiots. Elena: (Beryl, Whiny) Come on guys! Gimme my Princess Soro back! It's not funny, guys! >Darrien and royal grounds, Jadiete and Nephrite stop me. Elena: Wouldn't that hurt being a royal *ground*? Reno: (Jedite) Sure we got stepped on and everything, but it was good money. >Metila >hypostited them. Rude: (Beryl) She made them watch Teletubbies for 5 straight hours. Very sad. >It turns that Malachite and Zoyitice. Elena: (Beryl) ... Had extra sentence fragments and gave them to me. I'm just trying to use them all. >So I kill >the planet. Reno: And casually bring the news to everyone, why don't you. Rude: I didn't know Darth Vader could even LET people lease the Death Star. Elena: Not just any planet... THE planet! > Gaiga headed down to be drowned into the Earth. Elena: (Beryl) And to sleep with the humans... Rude: Been reading too much 'Far Side' lately, Elena? Reno: (Beryl) Yeah... chaos reign supreme... I kicked everyone's ass... Yadda yadda yadda... Want something to drink? >============================================================== >[Moon] Reno: The Dark Side of the Moon.... Rude: No weird Sci-Fi references, Reno. >Sailor Venus: Venus Cresent Beam!!!! Rude: Uh oh... Strap in! Incoming overused attacks! [Within seconds, The Turks are all buckled up] >Sailor Mars: Mars Fire Ingite!!!!! Elena: (Rei) We WILL have a good barbacue, dammit! >Sailor Mercury: Mercury Bubble Blast!!!! Rude: And it... immedently burns out the fire Rei created. Elena: (Mercury) Somebody get me a bathtub and a burreto! Reno: [singing] Splish splash, I was taking a bath... >Sailor Jutiper: Jutiper Thunder Zap!!!! Rude: (Makoto) Oww! I forgot I was a shrubbery! I'm on fire! HELP! Stupid Twist of Fate... >Beryl: The Moon Princess, all dress up and no place to go. Elena: (Beryl) My evil plan worked perfectly! First, make them pay 20 dollars for rental outfits and then make them not go anywhere! MWHAH! Reno: (Beryl) HA haha! The Mrs. Dress-up doll Usagi Model is mine! Rude: (Beryl) And now we'll put on Usagi's summer outfit in the middle of a blizzard! Whee! >(a rose appears) Rude: Looks like Virtual Flowers have gone a TAD too far! Reno: Either that or it's one of those 'I'm sorry' roses. >Beryl: Prince Darrien, I heard of you. Your love for her is >strong. Rude: (Rose) *BEEP!* This is Prince Darien. Your taunt is important, but due to a high volume of Taunt Calls... >(a beam appear. Princess Serenity jumps in) Elena: Whoa! Serenity went suicidal. Reno: Never mind about Beryl cracking up, Princess Serenity is already there! Rude: (Serenity) Come on in! The beam is fine. It's just burning my flesh off! >Prince Darrien: No!! Rude: (Mamoru) Take me with you! Don't leave me in this fic! >Princess Serena: I will alway did with you. Reno: (Mamoru) Well, I hope you always did it with me! Elena: (Mamoru) Maybe I can call that Minako girl now... Huh? You still here, Usagi? Crap! >(They disappears) Rude: Special Effects made by David Copperfield. Elena: Action Scenes made by the same people who made 'Batman and Robin' >Luna: Princess!!!!!!! Reno: (Luna) Oh dear... and she didn't even feed me yet! How rude! >Queen Serenity: I will give you a future. Rude: (Queen Serenity) I will give you a future... you, you... Elena: (Queen Serenity) But not you, Frank. Rude: Give away your future and you'll get free AVON! >Luna: Serenity, if you use the Crystral, you will be dead. Elena: (Luna) I paid good money for that crystal. It is not to be used! Rude: (Serenity) Actually... you were ripped off, Luna. What you got was a *crystral*, not a crystal. Elena: (Luna) Damn flea market, always selling cheapos of products... >Serenity: It is for the best. MOON COMIC POWER!!!!!!! [Everyone laughs helplessly] Reno: Ok.. So Jerry Seinfield has taken over Princess Serenity! [laughs] Rude: So... she has all the powers of a charecter in the Sunday Strips... Elena: She can sleep faster than Garfield... she can eat a whole bunch of stuff like in Blondie... She can put down people as in Dilbert... >======================================================= >Beryl: After some borning talk about what she hopes the future to >hold for you. Rude: So, Serenity's speeches can make anyone fall asleep. Is that what you are saying? Reno: Reminds me of a certain fox named Kinto-bore. Elena: The REAL reason why the Moon Kingdom never had a 'State of the Union' speech. >The crystral raised and slipt into 7 big peices and >some small ones... Rude: (Beryl) Also called shrapnel. The shrapnel then imbedded itself in everyone and killed them. The End. Elena: Rude, could you like not be so dark? Rude: And where's the fun in that? >the one that get to mother and reborn you. >Serena: Thank you for the story. Reno: (Usagi) I'll be going to see my family psychitrist now. Thank you for scarring me for life. >Beryl: You are weclome. Rude: (Beryl) Now... where's my stick? Uhh... Damn... I shouldn't have said that. Reno: Look at the Running Gag go! >Voices (Queen Jutiper and Queen Venus): Not!!!! That was the most >stiking story every. Elena: Even more striking than Titanic? I think not! Reno: Well.. at least Thinker explained how Beryl could be a good guy. I mean, most fics won't even explain how they came back alive. Elena: Well, you do have a point there... but still.... Rude: And Titanic was way overrated anyway. Reno: Yeah! I mean, you had to wait 3 hours for the damn ship to sink! Elena: Guys? Do you think we could get off the Iceberg-Bashing of Titanic and get on with the fic? >Phonia: That's the voice of Jutiper and Venus. Rude: Thank you, Ms.Obvious. Reno: (Phonia) How do I know? Well... it says here in the script, but... >LIGHT MARS >POWER!!! Reno: Half the calories of Regular Mars Power! >Athena: LIGHT MERCURY POWER!!! Elena: The sequel to Mercury Rising.. Light Mercury Rising. >Gina: LIGHT EARTH POWER!!!!! Rude: Now there is no way Los Angeles will have a Light Earthquake! >Mina: Venus Star Power!!! >Lita: Jutiper Star Power!!!! >Serena: Moon Crystral Power!!! >Raye: Mars Star Power Reno: Blah Blah Blah Power. Listen, can we please get to the action scenes? >Terra: Let's get them. Elena: (Terra) They took our exclamation marks. Get them. >Amy: You forget one...Mercury Star Power!! [Everyone groans] Reno: Just when we thought we got through with this too! >Sarah: Two, you mean....Earth Star Power!!!! Rude: *INTENSE* *TRANSFORMING* *ACTION!* >Reeny: More than that Elena: (Rini) You forgot us extras! >Reeny, Birdie, Avery,Prisma & Cathy:.......NEO-SCOUT POWER!! Rude: Well, it's nice seeing that the charecters that this fic was made for are in it for once. Reno: Isn't this kind of a overkill for just two enemies? Elena: Just smile and nod, Reno. >Venus Queen: VENUS DARK ARROW LAUCH!! Reno: And we actually have a new move! WOOHOO! [Party streamers suddenly appear as they fly around the room] >Neo-Moon: NEO-MOON TAIRA!!!!! [The party streamers suddenly stop] Reno: Well, that was short-lived. >(Jutiper is down. Elena: (Announcer) And things are looking bad for Jupiter! If she doesn't act fast, Neo-Moon will win the WCW Championship! >Venus is look at Jutiper look she is some >person secret when) Elena: ... a incoming parentheses came and attacked them. Reno: Nani? Who's secret? Victoria's? DETAILS MAN! DETAILS! >Venus: VENUS ARROW BEAM LAUCH!! Rude: Hmm.. You know, how come when we say attacks, they happen? Reno: You're right, Rude! [aims at the screen] NEO-TURKS RAY! [A yellow light forms and hits the screen] I wonder why it's like that? Elena: I think it's one of the Ten Commandments of Charecters or something. >(Queen Venus is caught unwait of this attack!) Reno: (Venus) Hey, attack! Could you wait a second? I got to check my hair. No? Aieee!!! >Moon: MOOON!!! Rude: (Random Senshi) Yes ma'am! [makes a unzipping sound] Elena: Rude! Rude: What? I wasn't actually going to do it. >Earth: EARTH!!!! Reno: Moon Earth? Rude: That would be a refreshing picture from the Hubble! Reno: Nah... It would be all blurry and stuff. >Moon: HEALINIG!!! >Earth: Healing!!! Elena: [Looks around] Is there a echo in here? >Moon: Activion!!!! >Earth: Activion!!!! Elena: Definite Echo. Reno: (Rini) Uhh... Guys? You can stop now. You freaked out the enemy and they ran away. >(Jutiper and Venus) Rude: (Announcer) Come on down! You're the next contestant on The Price is Right! [Reno and Elena make cheering noised. >Jutiper: Hi, I'm Light Princess of Jutiper, Lida. [Reno helplessly starts laughing. Rude and Elena stare at him] Rude: What's so funny? Reno: Oh... You don't know? Elena: No. What the hell are you talking about. [Reno starts whispering to Rude and Elena about the Extra 'Lida' in Sailor Moon vrs. Final Fantasy. The others start laughing as well] Rude: Need a extra person in your fanfic? Call Lida and she'll be there! >Venus: I'm Bina, the daughter of the Light Queen of Venus. Reno: (Bina) I'm sorry, but we couldn't afford The Light Queen herself. Elena: Bina, Lida.... Thinker must have had a scrabble bag on him when making this section. >Gina: Weclome back Rude: (Gina) ... Folks. If you accedently saw our little fight, don't worry. That wasn't a part of the fic. Now back to our regular action. Elena: Nice try Rude. >============================================================= >Dark Senety: Rats, the Inner Dark One are finish!!!! Reno: (DS) And I forgot to set the timer! The Inner Dark Ones dinner is going to be burned.... >I fill like >those are going to get to me. Rude: (DS) Well, all I did was take over their mind and soul. Why would they go after me for that? >But I don't think I have others Elena: So.. A Badguy without a henchman... how odd. Rude: Need a henchman? Call 1-900-SELL-YOU and get your very own henchman for all your evil deeds! >Time Lady: On the corstantly, my master (she finail steps out) Reno: And falls straight onto the pavement! Oh, The horror! Rude: And everyone says *I'M* dark. >I'm the Queen Pluto and my Outer Ones will help you. Elena: (TL) But you got to give them back! They cost a bundle! Rude: (DS) Ok.. I'll give them back whenever I give you your shovel, landmower, and bug zapper back, M'Kay? >Dark Saturn, >Dark Uranus, Reno: We are on the dark side of Uranus man! Elena: I thought we said no 'Uranus' jokes. Reno: I had my fingers crossed, ok? >Dark Neptune, and of course me, Dark Pluto. Ha Ha Ha Rude: [blandly] Oh... evil plan. Yep. Evil. Reno: Is the plot that predictable? Elena: Yes. Reno: Oh. Looks like Part 14 is done. Rufus: [On intercom] Yes! And now you shall expierence the last two parts of Neo-Scouts with no breaks! MWHAHA! Am I evil or what? [The fic suddenly comes back on. But before anything could happen, it breaks and shuts down again] Rufus: [Intercom] Huh? What the? [Heidegger suddenly comes on the intercom] Heidegger: [Intercom] Problem sir! The Plot Contrivance Materia can only handle so much! It's overheated! Rufus: [Intercom] WHAT? That's impossible! It's a PLOT CONTRIVANCE materia for crying out loud! Oh well. Turks? You're lucky. You'll be getting a short break from the fic now. So use it wisely! Elena: Even a wise man would say get out of this theater now! Reno: I have to agree with you there, Elena [The Turks exit the theater] ____________________________________________________________________________ TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 15 Well, I managed to get Parts 13 and 14 done! I've had company over here a lot and such, so it's been very hard to do these two parts alone. Well, I hope you enjoyed this so far. This MSTing shall continue in Parts 15 and 16, the END of Neo-Scouts. Expect it soon. I promise. §--(Turn off your life)--§ (Where applicable... which is about everywhere ^_^) And hey! Guess what? EVEN MORE... Sailor Moon: Neo-Scouts - MSTied! Parts 13-16 (Part 3 of the ending of the Marathon. Part 15 actually.) Written by Dr.Thinker MSTied by John 'CrowBar' Hurst Send any C&C to MakoReno@aol.com http://crowbar.cjb.net/ Experiment No. 204 Let's continue on in Dr.Thinker's world! ____________________________________________________________________________ [SOS Bridge- The Turks are all on the bridge, discussing the last chapter] Reno: Well, at least he try to explain how Beryl could have been a good guy. Rude: Yeah, but I still can't think Beryl would give away her own daughter. Elena: I have to agree, Rude. And there are more Author-Created characters in this fic than in the Author Avatar Arena! Reno: So, what do you guys want to do while we are waiting? Elena: Well, we got some more mail. Rude: Oh really? Let's see what they've said! Elena: Well, the first one is from ProTH: >Proth@Rocketmail.com writes: >Hello. ALL: Hi! > Just writing to say I've been reading the Turk-MSTed Neo-Scouts, and > I'm loving it! I've got through 7 parts of it so far... after reading part > 7 I couldn't continue ... there mightn't have been anything like "Yes. I >do my self!", but I think it's the least I've ever understood something >written in English. Reno: Well, thanks! I'm glad that people like it! Elena: Don't feel bad about stopping at Part 7, Proth. We would have stopped at Part 1 if we could. Rufus is evil, isn't he? [Rude picks up the second e-mail message labeled 'Warning' on it] Rude: Uhh... Guys? Dr.Thinker sent us another e-mail message! Elena: [Takes the package and sees the warning] Hmm.. I wonder why it's labeled this? Reno: Maybe he wants to warn us of something. Elena: Maybe. Here's what it says: >Hi! Turks! What's up? Ruffus's still trying to sick you. Reno: Yep! It's sad actually. >I just >learn that he get dibs on one of my stories. [Pause] Reno: Oh no.... Elena: Another one? >It's comes after this one. >I only going to tell the tittle to you, "Sailor Moon: Sailor Sun", Rude: Sailor Sun? Let's see... there's about 10,000 of them now, I think. >any >more and it's going to spoil the jokes. Only one complain. My stories >are NOT LEMON! Elena: We know, we just like chanting 'Please say this isn't a lemon'. >Unless, you count Crow's joke in my MiSTings. Rude: You oughtta see Reno here then. He is the equivalent of Crow. Reno: Yeah... HEY! >I hope you >might do a MACH 3 of one of my MiSTing, just for fun. Reno: Well, we may do a couple more of your stories, but we will need a break after this and 'Sailor Sun'. >Sign >Dr. Thinker >*Helper of Dr. Forrester* [Suddenly, Rufus comes onto the HectoScreen] Rufus: WHAT? How did he find out about my dibs on that story? It just isn't possible! Elena: Well... he did. Rufus: Man! Well, I'll just punish you for finding out what my next fic is! Reno: But... you already punished us. Rufus: I'm unpunishing you and re-punishing you. Got it? [The Turks roll their eyes] Rufus: Well, The next part is ready for destroying your minds anyway. Prepare for part 15! [The HectoScreen closes and the Klaxons flash] Reno: Oh great. We got THINKER SIGN!!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Door Sequence] Elena: God, is Rufus a grouch or what? >Part 15 -- Eylia found it Rude: Watch as Eylia finds *IT*! Not just any item: *IT*. Elena: (Con Announcer) *IT* is a potato grown by Mrs. Whetherby in South Dakota.... scary, isn't it? MWHAHA! Reno: You kind of have to wonder what *it* is, though. Elena: Reno... already? Reno: Yep! Plus, that was a prime target. >========================================================== Elena: So far, This fic hasn't equaled to much. >The drestory of the moon kindgom was base on "The Past Returns" in the >Queen Beryl arch from Season 1 of Sailor Moon. Rude: (Thinker) So ingnore all the DiC Lawyers in my front yard... yeah. Just ingnore them. >Sailor Moon Neo-Scout: Part 15 - Sailor Saturn founded. Reno: But.. It just said it was named Eylia found it... Elena: Maybe this is what she found. Rude: The only fic that dares to play Treasure Hunt with the title! Reno: (Random Senshi) Let's see... I got to find a old license plate, a box, and the script! >Queen Serenity: Messlia, Marica, Litious, and Vena. Elena: (Serenity) Sleepy, Grumpy, Doc! Rude: Uh oh... Looks like Serenity found out about their little 'Hot Water' joke they did on her. >Queen Messlia: Yes. Reno: (Messlia) Sorry. We were in such a rush that we didn't get our question marks. Elena: (Serenity) What have I told you about mud on the carpet? Bad Queens! Bad Queens! No biscuit! >Queen Serenity: Queen Beryl has been help. Rude: (Serenity) She's hogging the role of Help. How about we go and beat her up? >Queen Marica: We need a why to think him. Elena: Donate your whys to Serenity! Rude: Him? Did Beryl go get a sex change or something? Reno: Paparazzi's has made Beryl go into hiding under a new identity! Elena: (Serena) There... I thought of Beryl. What's next on our agenda? >Queen Chronos: Send it are daughter. Elena: (Marica) Did we ask you, Chronos? No! Rude: (Serenity) Oh yeah. She did give us her daughter. Why not? Reno: There was a huge trade in the daughter market today! >Queen Litionus: Good Idea! Rude: (Litionus) Let's just go back to our stock of daughters. Reno: Need a extra daughter in a fanfic? Call 1-800-THINKER. >========================================================== Reno: Equal Signs. They're EXTREME! >Artimis: According to Beryl... Rude: (Artemis) I am the center of a Sayien-Jin's fantasy. >each of the Princess have the same >name as in present time. Elena: Well, that just makes perfect sen... huh? Reno: (Artemis) Oh yeah. They did also open up that new witness protection program by the mall. Wanna see it? > Uranus was Princess Morgan. Reno: (Luna?) *MY* anus was Princess Morgan? Well, that's just plain rude, Artemis! Elena: Yep.. Another fic, another Uranus joke... > Priness >Michelle was Neptune. Rude: *Priness*? Elena: She was also the cousin on the Loch Ness Monster. >We had help from the Sailor Neo-Scouts, so >that counts for Pluto's daughter. Reno: Counts for what? A discount on your next use of Pluto's daughter? Elena: (Geeky Manager) We also have triple coupons on Sunday. Rude: Disney let their pets have offspring? Reno: Pluto finally got his chance at that little brown dog. Elena: Careful, Reno! Ideas spread pretty quickly! >Luna: They may be have different hair color or looks than their >Princess selfs. Reno: Ahh.. The wonders of Plastic Surgery. Rude: (Luna) So remember, look for people that look like Dolly Parton, and have no fat at all, got it? >We have to find then. Reno: Keyword: Then. Elena: (Luna) But not right now. We'll find them when they show up. So, want to play Risk? >============================================================= >[Sammy] Rude: Pretty Sammy? Elena: Poor Sasami. Reno: Well, it's still a better deal than in all those lemon fics. >Sammy: Who are you? Rude: [raspy voice] I'm Batman! Reno: Oh. Hi Sammy. We are just three MSTers. Don't mind us. >Elya: I'm Elya Thomas. Reno: (Elya) And I'm your stripper for this evening. Elena: Shh, Reno! Stop giving out ideas for bad fanfics... ESPECIALLY with Sasami in them! Rude: Actually, that idea is so wrong that it probably has already been done. >Sammy: Is your father, Proffer..Author Thomas. Elena: Author Thomas? Did his parents think he would become a writer when he grew up? Reno: His parent's then disowned him when he became a *Proffer*. A sad story, really. >(Unknown to either of Sammy or Elya, Rude: We secretly replaced their Starbucks coffee with Decaffenited Foldgers. Elena: That explained how boring the conversation is. >two person..one evil...one >good) Reno: Uhh.. Who's the fic talking about? Rude: Well, there ARE two people in this scene. Elena: If Sasami turns evil on us, I'm leaving! >=============================================================== >[Roof Top] Rude: The first man in the world attempts to bungee jump off a building and it ends in dismal failure. >Sailor Saturn: So that my twin in this dimision. Ha Ha Ha!!! Elena: Ok... Has Setsuna been drinking again? Reno: And I see Setsuna has been taking Shampoo 101 this semester as well. And she is passing with flying colors! >================================================================= >[Cross the Street] Rude: Nani? We are in a theater! How can we cross the street? Reno: Ah... the fic is shying away from the conversation. Come on honey! You can get closer! >Beryl: WOWSER!!! Elena: (Inspector Gadget) Go Go Gadget DIE! Reno: DiC is going to be storming this fic any minute now... Waitaminute.. DiC dubbes Sailor Moon and made Inspector Gadget and... Oww... my head hurts. >That is my Princess. Rude: (Beryl) I paid good money for that princess and that's where it was left! Grr... Never let Zoicite borrow your stuff. Reno: Speaking of her, WHERE IS SHE? Elena: Oh... She's probably getting drunk where the other extras are. >I should tell the others Elena: (Beryl) Maybe I should go and get the princess... NAH! Reno: (Beryl) Well.. I *SHOULD* tell the others, but then they would leave me out of the fighting and stuff. Maybe I'll just go to Fuddruckers instead. >================================================================= >[Temple -- Night] Rude: Ah.. I see the Shinto Temple is holding their annual drunken barn dance! Reno: I think we used that joke like in part 3 or something. Rude: Oh well... But I like that joke! >Reeny: I have some news from Beryl. Elena: (Rini) She said 'Screw being a good guy. I'm going back to be a bad guy. You get paid more then.' Reno: I wouldn't blame her. You realize how much we got paid for just fighting Cloud? [Elena and Rude nod] >You tell them what you said >to me. Reno: (Beryl) *AHEM!* Suck... it. Now back to you Rini! Elena: (Beryl) You want me to repeat the WHOLE LINE of cuss words I said you were? Well... ok. >Beryl: One person that look like a friend to the vitcum of >Nephrite's Jumbo was meeting with my Princess Elya. Rude: Uhh... Would that count as a simularity to a run-on sentence? Reno: I guess so! Elena: A victim of Nephrite's Jumbo? Uhh... no. >Artimis: We been think that you Princess names have stay with all >of you. Rude: (Artemis) Oh you princess names! Elena: (Artemis) I'm sorry, but we couldn't find room at the Motel 6 for the princess names. Hope that's ok. >Luna: Saturn is the leader of the Scouts as Moon is to the >Inners. Reno: [looking confused] Nani? I thought Moon... But Saturn... Elena: Smile and nod, Reno. >Serena: I hope will not have any problems. Reno: (Usagi) Me having problems though is another story! Rude: Ironically, Usagi suddenly had her own with several tests at school the next day. >Elya goes to the same >school as Sammy does... Elena: (Usagi) What's really odd is that a humanoid cross-over of a rabbit and a cat are following her. Reno: We really got to stop these Sasami jokes. They are starting to get old. >Reeny, can you and the Sailor Neo-Scouts >make should that no Dark Scout appears to stop them. Rude: Uhh.. What? Reno: And here is even more proof that many of the charecters are suicidal in this fic. Elena: Must be the easiest way out of this fanfic. >Reeny: With Moonish pleasure. ALL: EWW! Reno: Very bad pun, Rini. VERY BAD! Elena: Haruka may take that seriously, Rini. Watch it. >(The old scouts groan with four groans from the Neo-Scouts) Rude: So did 3 Turks in a theater. Reno: (Rei, Mumbling) I'll get the flamethrower. You guys get the crowbars. >Prisma: I still can't believe that you can out of me. Elena: Welcome back, Prisma! It's so nice to see you back in the fanfic! Reno: Presenting Prisma in a can! It's delicious! [Elena thinks about smacking Reno for that line, but then decides not to] >Avery: She was probbaly in the Nega-Storbes Rude: *Nega-Storbes*? Reno: Maybe Thinker meant Nega-Strobe. As in Strobe Lights. Rude: Nega-Strobe Lights! They won't work worth crap on the dark dance floor, but yet is still a neat effect for those who have epilepsy! If you are in the light that is... heheheh.... >Serena: Both Queen Meltia with your body and Nega-Storbed Prisma >used Lighting. Elena: As well as every RPG character in existence. Rude: So Prisma was affected by a Nega-Strobe light, eh? That thing must have the same affect as the Pokemon incident. >I think Primsa is right about this. Reno: (Usagi) But... you might need to check with her on that. >But I think we >should get back on track. Elena: We now rejoin our fic currently in progress. Reno: (Usagi) ...The train track, that is. MWHAHA!! Rude: Hey! Being dark is my schtick! >Reeny: Isn't today, the one-year anniversal of your second >powers. Rude: Did we miss something? Reno: Well, Rini could mean 'Terror to the second power' though. And this fic seems like it has been one-year. >(We see all old Scouts with confused, the ex-dark scouts with >questionail faces, the Neo-Scouts expect for Reeny.. Elena: (Makoto) Uhh.. That's nice Rini. [aside] Someone distract her. I'll call the sanitarium. Reno: I wonder if their second powers involve destruction of bad lemon writers.... Rude: Now THERE'S a idea for a fanfic! >face that >reads..."Mistake, Lady." Rude: (Usagi) Big mistake. [imitates a gun cocking] >Reeny has a mouth that reads to a person >OOOPS!!) Elena: So... Text files come with people's looks now? Reno: (Someone, Reading) Let's see... She doesn't look like she was hit with a fish... she doesn't look like she was just yelled at... for crying out loud! Why didn't this file have a help section? >Reeny: OOOPS!! I should have tell you. Rude: (Rini) I ran over your dog in the driveway. Sorry. > You first power was "MOON >PRISM POWER!!!! >You next is the power you have know. Reno: Huh? Does Rini mean knowledge? Rude: Well, Knowledge *IS* power. Elena: And if it involves Usagi, that power is sleeping, eating, and failing tests. >Serena: NO SCHOOL AGAIN. ALL: YAYY! Reno: School has been closed in all of Japan due to this fanfic today. >This is Japan is turning into American >area fast then you can said "Mrs. Hauna Ate An Ton of Apples!!" Elena: The next tabloid headline for The Daily Sun. Reno: So, Usagi is whining about no school? Oh man... I think I need some rest and relaxation once this fic is over with. >(Author Note: I been a year since the Dark Moon attacks have >happen. Rude: (Thinker) It was actually pretty fun being a year. You get this huge cake and stuff, but it is only for one year though. >It been a month since the defeat of Queen Earth, Gina.) Reno: At last Sailor Utopia was beaten the crap out of. Elena: Yeah, there are way too many author created senshi anyway. Rude: I dunno.. some of them are pretty good. >================================================================ >[Dark Place] Rude: The place where RL Stein places all his copies of books that never sold. Reno: So... right next to the E.T Atari cartridges? >Queen Saturn: Major Bad News Serenity, I had find some one. Elena: (Serenity) Actually, that's pretty good. Now I can kick you out of the house! >Dark Serenity: Who? Rude: (Saturn) Oh... some guy named Adam Chance. Says he's a Agent from H.A.R.M. He wants me to meet him at the Judo Rink later too. Reno: Rude, Stop it! Best Brains will get us for that remark! Elena: More like Universal would be doing that. >Q. Saturn: Me of course. Elena: (Saturn) I've always had a crush on myself! Reno: So... Saturn likes herself? I've heard of typo's of that kind, but this is one of the worst! >Dark Serenity: You riddle are easy as pie. Rude: (Serenity) But not as easy as toasting Pop-Tarts. Sorry. Reno: (Serenity) But of course, I'm easy as pie myself. Elena: Reno... Remind me to smack you later for that remark. >That means that you >have find your twin. Rude: ... And kick her ass. Elena: Is it just me or does almost every single used charecter have a twin? Rude: [ponders for a second] It's a fic, Elena. Relax. >Q. Saturn: Yes. I going to kill her!!!!!!!! Elena: (Saturn) With my exclamation marks! Reno: Hey Thinker! You endangering the population of exclamation marks everywhere! >Dark Serenity: Been aware of this...Saturn is the powerful of the >other planets... Rude: (Serenity) So remember to wacth you back... yadda yadda yadda... and bring home some pie while your at it. >equal to the Powers of Mars, Jutiper, Venus, Neo- >Moon and my own twin, Sailor Moon mixed togheter. Reno: So it seems that Sailor Saturn's turning into a author created charecter. Rude: (Cooking Host) ...and baked slightly for 45 minutes and you got a delicious pot roast! >Q. Saturn: I will drestory the school with my power!!!! Elena: What? Nani? When did a school get into this? Reno: I'm not sure either Elena, but I'm starting to like this fic! NO MORE POP QUIZES! Elena: But we're not in school anymore. Reno: Oh yeah. >========================================================= >[Okio Grade School -- Women Teacher Lougne] Rude: (Math Teacher) Well... I better get going. Got a 1,000 word problems for my class today... >Reeny: So wants up? Reno: Is that what they call a 7-up nowadays? Elena: (Whoever Else) No thanks. I got a Citra. >Avery: I took the Gym Teacher. It seem that she can't run fast. Rude: Gee... Eyla's Gym Teacher is really supportive, isn't he? Elena: Gym Teachers and how they hate their students: Next on Jerry Springer! >Birdie: At Lunch, she did not get a milk Reno: (Birdie) But her body still looks good! Elena: Reno... Rude: So... what's wrong with not getting a milk? Are the evil cows from hell going to punish her for not drinking her milk? Reno: Considering all the crappy commercials for milk... that could happen. >Reeny: (look throw a crystral on a necklace) Beryl. Elena: (Rini) I got this necklace for you from Claire's. Try it on! >Voice(Beryl): When I try to make her drink..Milk. Reno: (Beryl) Come on... Drink the god damn milk, Eyla! DRINK IT! Rude: Whenever Beryl forced someone to drink milk, she suddenly has Shatner talking attacks! > She become >sick. She dead.. ALL: NANI? Rude: But.. she's alive... but she... Elena: I know Rude. Smile and Nod. >about 1 month before attack the Moon because of >this...and her shortness..and she can't run fast. Reno: Is it just me or is all the charecters really biased on how fast they run and their shortness? Elena: They must be a part of the Midget Risistance.... >For magic >power, she has to turn into Sailor Saturn. Rude: (Beryl) But that was before Ethers were made. In my day, we had to rest at INNS to get our power back! Reno: Probably only a serious RPG fan is going to get that. >I'm taking the >History. Elena: That's nice Beryl, but can we get back on the subject of Eyla now? > Some on has throw a pencil and that person is blooding. Rude: That's a VERY sharp pencil! Reno: I think Beryl has finnaly cracked. Elena: She did that when she first got into this fic. >Elya is helping her. She is getting better. Rude: That line just *SCREAMS* with a megaphone a scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Elena: (Beryl) Whoops! She's dead. Oh well... you can always blame Eyla's SHORTNESS of how fast she RUNS! Reno: Whoa, Elena! Calm down! >The person who was >blooding now filed. Rude: (Beryl) And saved in the file manager as C:\THINKER\NEO-SCOUTS\PENCILSTAB.TXT. Reno: Wouldn't that hurt though, being put in a file? >She is getting teased. Same on our planet. Elena: (Beryl) Thanks to the wonders of satelites, she can be teased on two planets at once! Reno: Presenting The Eyla Show! Watch as everyone makes fun of her for helping someone! >I have to hide her the place. Reno: You know what? That almost made sense. Rude: Not just any place... But THE PLACE! Coming soon to a Thinker fic near you. >================================================================= >[Dark Saturn appears in front of Avery] Elena: Dark Saturn: Assistant to David Copperfield. Reno: (Dark Saturn) Wait... this isn't the evil-doers convention! >Saturn: Look for me, wow!! Flating!!! Rude: .... As a steamroller. Reno: (Saturn) You like me! You really like me! Elena: (Rini) But we don't need to look for you. You're right here! DUH! >Avery: What you name! Reno: Reno. Rude: Rude. Elena: And I'm Elena.... Oh! You meant her. Sorry. >Saturn: Elyra, accident discover this. Elena: (Saturn) ...Involving elves... yeah.. that's it. Reno: Isn't that how the Incredible Hulk was discovered? >Avery: Drink this please? Rude: (Avery) It's Vodka. I'm sure you'll enjoy it. Reno: That would explain all the grammar errors... >Saturn: Sure!! Elena: (Saturn) I have no free will anyway... Reno: Now HOW many times has that joke been used? >Avery: Nice try..but Elyra has a discease to milk. First! Elena: So, Eyla or Elyra or whatever is dead again? Sheesh! Make up your mind! Reno: I think she mean Disease, Elena. Elena: Oh. Rude: (Avery) Haha! I beat the other important scouts to a line! WOO! >(CREAKKKK!!!! > Kids yelling. Reno: Nick at your school has gone postal. Chuckie has a AK-47 and Rocko is now a early 1900's Movie Gangster... Elena: Reno.... You're dark today. Reno: Sorry... This fic is getting to me. Got any Alleve? >All is empty. Rude: Shameless Laundry Plug No.1. Reno: The great ALL Detergent shortage brought terror in the United States.. >We shortly see that >Elyra hasn't left yet. ) Elena: (Eyla, Elyra.. Whatever) But I swear that my rabies are harmless! Rude: Insert your own snail-pace runner joke here... >Saturn: Nice try! But I know something, she is a slow-mo!!!! Reno: Yeah yeah yeah... Just flame the little short and slow girl, why don't you... Elena: Well... she would win in a marathon against Sally Struthers and Rosanne, I can tell you that. >Queen Beryl: I stop them. Reno: ...From using proper grammar and sentance structure. Rude: So.. What? Is Queen Beryl a crossing guard now or what? >Voice (Female): On belhalf of the Moon Elena: (Can you say Usagi?) I shall get out of this fic! Good night! Reno: NOT going to happen anytime soon. >Queen Saturn: So, you show up!! Moon Brat!!! Rude: (Saturn) Now go away or I'll taunt you a second timer! Elena: Moon brat? Why would she want to moon a brat? >Moon: Which who you call a Brat, Nega-Trash. Reno: (Saturn) Nah.. I was referring to the other you. WHO DO YOU THINK?? Rude: And the taunt meter goes up a tad! Usagi is in the lead! >Queen: This reminds me of a battle with Zoyitice's shadow warrior >out of couple. Elena: Ahh... Memories.... Rude: Shadow Warrior? Lo Wang? Reno: (Lo Wang) Hmm.. Must be american made fic. >Moon: Time to eat dust of the Moon. Rude: Actually, Moondust is a pretty bad spice on food, so I wouldn't suggest it. >Queen: I rather drink the blood of the Moon. Reno: And Moonblood is hard to get out of your carpets if you spilled it. Rude: Oh no! Saturn's turning into a vampire! Elena: Quick! Someone call Vampire Hunter D! >Voices (Sailor Scouts & Sailor Neo-Scouts): Over are dead bodys Elena: (Announcer) Next on the decathlon, the 100 meter Senshi hurdles... >Queen Saturn: That can be arrange. Reno: (Saturn) Hey Nav! We need you in here! Elena: Shhh! Anti-fic writers will here you! >[As Saturn and the Scouts fight. Queen Beryl dissappers] Rude: (Beryl) Screw this fight! I'm going to go and grab a Jolt. Elena: These fight scenes brought to you by the coreographers of Invasion of the Neptune Men. >--------------------------------------------------------- >[Hallway] Reno: The Princapal is there, and boy is he pissed! Passing out tardies everywhere! >(We see Saturn alone, until Beryl appears] Rude: I see Beryl had a short-lived Magician Career. Elena: (Beryl) Now watch as I pull out a quarter from your ear! >Saturn: Who are you? Reno: [Raspy voice] I'm the terror of the night.. I'm BATMAN! Rude: (Beryl) Oh.... I'm just one of the main charecters in this fic. Nothing big. >Beryl: I'm your mother. Elena: (Beryl ala Darth Vader) Join me and we can rule the galaxy as mother and daughter.... [imitates heavy breathing] Reno: Careful, Elena. Darth Vader knows our address. >Saturn: Mother is dead, she killed in a car crash. Rude: (Saturn) Which was a dumb thing to do before the car crashed but... Reno: Translation: The gave her live in prison for murder and gave her the chair. Rude: (Beavis) THE CHAIR! THE CHAIR! Heheheh. Elena: Well, that explains everyone teasing her at school. >Elina: [Reno and Rude stare at the screen and then at Elena] Reno: How could you....? Elena: That's not me! That's Elina! Rude: But how did they suck you into the fanfic? Elena: Like I said, it's not me! That's E-L-I-N-A! Reno: I feel your pain, Elena... Elena: THAT'S NOT ME! Rude: Reno, she's right. I don't think it's her. Reno: Probably not.. but it is sure fun to do this to her! Elena: HEY! >She is not me, but your mother from the acient past. Rude: (Elina) But since I'm dead and all, I decided to become a zombie! Braiinnss... Reno: Quick! Someone call Leon and Claire! >Saturn: Mother, did you have proof. Elena: (Elina) Nah... I thought I would just say that for the shock value. >Elina: This is proof. Acient Book. Rude: (Elina) It belongs to a Ancient Library. It's WAYYY overdue. Elena: (Eyla) But I don't see how 'Green Eggs and Ham' work with this situation, mom. >Read the 7 chapter's notes on >the Queen and Princess of that planet. Reno: But due to a arguement, The King was blotted out of the book. Sad really. >Saturn: OK {Reading] The Rulers of Saturns are Queen Beryl and >Princess Elyra. Elena: Thank you, Miss Exposition, for telling us what we already know. Rude: (Eyla) Uhh... Miss Mother from the ancient past? Why does this book say 'Big Dog. Little Dog' underneath the text? >[See a pitcure of her and Beryl together.] Reno: With Goofy acting like a idiot and Pluto sniffing their butts. Rude: (Beryl) Ok.. maybe the Disneyland picture wasn't the best picture to put in there. >I >don't believe much... Elena: (Eyla) But Santa and Snuffy the Magic Cow are real! Reno: (Beryl) Where did I go wrong with her? >but with both or you.. >I think can believe >it. Rude: (Eyla) I think I'll go call the local tabloids now... yeah... that's it. >Beryl: Thanks this Reno: [imitates a punch, and then scuffling] Elena: And the WWF Championship is getting dirty! >(A purple stick with a cicle with gray rings >around it. Rude: Looks like the stick has been trying to make smoke rings again. Reno: (Eyla) Could you like give this stick a nicotine patch? I think it needs it. >In the circle is the funny-look small h. Elena: H? As in Hentai? Rude: On no! They secretly replaced the stick with Happosai! Reno: And boy is he going to have a midnight feast! >It is the >symbol of Saturn. Elena: Gee.. I wonder why? Reno: Well.. there was that state of suspense, Elena. It could have been symbol of Mccdonalds or Ford even. >Eylia: SATURN PLANET POWER!!!!!!!! Rude: [holding ears] Owww... Reno: Unfortunetly, she accedently took the Mako Energy from Saturn during transformation, crumbling up the planet... Rude: (Saturn) D'Oh! >(She go into the Sailor Moon-like transformation expect that >Saturn has dark purple light from her hand and circle her like >the rings of Saturn. Elena: Translation: She stole Sailor Moons transformation to a point. Rude: And 30-minutes later... the transformation is done. Then you flip her over and do the backside for perfection! >She become Sailor Saturn.) Reno: And there was much rejoicing. Others: [blandly] Hooray. [Elena and Rude are waving small flags slowly....] >---------------------------------------------------------- >(Mean while Elena: Elliot Ness and the Untouchables... Reno: Ok... I think we have used enough overused jokes for today... >Neo-Moon and her Scouts have been try to keep Queen >Saturn busy) Reno:And what a job they are doing! Look at the mess! [Elena backhands Reno] Elena: BAKA! Rude: So what? Are they playing Advanced Pictonary? What? Elena: (Usagi) Psst... Ami! How do you draw carbon monoxide? >Queen Saturn: SATURN DEATH RIDDIONS Reno: Uhh.. I think you have the spell backwards, Evil Saturn Queen. You're supposed to KILL them, not get rid of death. Elena: (Saturn) Ah poopie. I screwed up royally this time, huh? >Sailor Neo-Moon: NEO-MOON FULL MOON BLOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! Elena: And you can hear the mourning of exclamation marks everywhere.... Reno: (Rini) Commencing Mooning Formation... ATTACK! Rude: (Usagi) Nice shot Rini! That car just went off the road! Reno: Rini's butt is that big? Elena: This is the result of when you get off the Slim-Fast plan.... >(The Riddions discover that get past Neo-Moon's Moon Block) Reno: With a D-, barely passing 'Special Attacks 101' in it's sophmore year. Elena: He was then voted for 'Most likely to be in a Thinker fic'. >Voice (Simialar to Q. Saturn): SATURN CRYSTRAL BOMBS!!! [Rude imitates electronic bomb sounds.] Reno: Has the budget cut in Thinker fics reduce attacks to just words? I haven't seen hardly any deatails for any of these moves... Except for Saturn Death 'Riddions'... I think. >(A group of bombs attack Saturn) Elena: I see the Bomb-ombs from Super Mario 64 have gotten jobs again. Reno: Yeah.. It's hard seeing a Bomb-Omb on the street having a sign that says 'Will blow up for food'. >Sailor Earth: EARTH!!! >Sailor Moon: MOON!!!! Reno: Oh no... Elena: SWITCH TO DEFCON 1! >Sailor Earth: HEALING!!!! >Sailor Moon: HEALING!!!!!!!!!! >Sailor Earth: ACTIVION!!!!!!!!!!!!! >Sailor Moon: ACTIVION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [The Turks are blown behind their seats. Reno emerges and sits back in his seat. The rest follow momments later.] Elena: Well.. there goes the last of the exclamation point population. Reno: They fought so well too... Rude: This is starting to turn out like the DiC dubs.. Stock footage circling all around us. >(Queen Saturn is defeated) Reno: Hah! It's a conspiracy I tell you! Add an IS between the V and the I and you get ACTIVISION! She was killed by horrible games! Rude: Poor Reno.. He's never been the same since he got burned that once... Reno: And THEY'RE in cahoots with ACCLAIM!! SEE?! Bad Fanfics have subliminal messages telling you to buy crappy games! Hence why Acclaim made Batman & Robin! Elena: Oh, shut up. [smacks Reno up side the head] Reno: Ow! Oh... man, thanks. >Sailor Moon: Good, I hope she is healed. Elena: Why? So you can kill her again? Rude: (Usagi) Of course.... Our move was FOR healing and stuff, but I still wonder. >L. Saturn: Hi, I Light Sailor Saturn, Elica. [Reno and Rude stare at Elena again] Elena: What now? Reno: Two roles in one fic, huh? Elena: For crying out loud! That's not me! Rude: Yeah, we know, Elena. So... how much money did you get paid for guest starring in this fic? Reno: And why did you only slightly change your name for it? [Elena grumbles something that Reno and Rude cannot make out] >---------------------------------------------------------- ALL: [singing] Dashing through the fic, in a Dr.Thinker Sleigh, ore the fields we go, confused all the way! >Queen Uranus: Me and Neptune will take care of them. Reno: (Uranus) Damn customers... always coming in during our coffee break. Elena: Unfortunetly, It was the grammar police that barged in their secret hideout.... >Dark Serenity: I going to get you, Sailor Moon !!!!!!! Rude: (DS ala Dr.Claw) Next time, Usagi! Next Time! Elena: (DS) You gave me this stupid contract saying I would lose! I am going to sue your ass for this! >=============================================================== Reno: And this equals the end of the fanfic! Rude: Let's go... Reno, *Elina*.... Elena: For the last time, I'm not Elina of Elica! [The three Turks walk out of the theater] ------ [Door Sequence] [SOS Bridge- Reno is behind the table, while Rude and Elena are sitting in foldable chairs. Behind Reno, there is a sign that says 'Daughter Auction' on it] Reno: Before the Auction begins, does anyone have any questions? Elena: I do... WHY are we doing this? Reno: Because it's fun! Besides, they did 'Daughter Trading' in the fanfic, so why not do a auction? Rude: Well, I guess that sounds about right. Reno: So let's begin! [Reno brings out a picture of Eyla] Reno: This model was made in 1980 and is in excellent condition. It comes along with credit cards, so you don't have to lend it yours, and a free beeper, so you can get her anytime. We'll start the bidding at 3 gil. Elena: 5 gil! Reno: Anyone else want to bet more than 5 gil? [Silence] Reno: Sold! To Ms. Elena for 5 gil! [He hands her the pic of Eyla. He then grabs a picture of Rini]. This model is from 1992, and has several problems with noises that can be fixed. We'll start the bidding at 1 gil. Anybody? [Silence] Reno: Anybody? [Still Silence] Reno: Ok. She doesn't get sold then. [Throws the pic outto the side. He then grabs a picture of Marlene, Barret's Daughter]. You know who this is already. We'll start at 50 gil. Rude: 70! Elena: 75! Rude: 90! [Suddenly, the HectoScreen pops open and it reveals Barret, holding his gun-arm at the screen] Barret: Your life, foo'. [Reno turns around and does the Generic Anime Sweatdrop.] Reno: Uhh.... Uh.. Sold! to Mr.Barret for my life! Barret: Thats better. Now I betta' not see ya doing this no more, got it? Reno: Y-y-yeah... Got it. [The HectoScreen closes] Elena: Way to go, idiot. Reno: Hey! How was I supposed to know Barret would know? [The Commercial Sign flashes.] Rude: Reno? We have commercial sign.... Reno: Not right now, Rude. I'm trying to figure out how Barret heard us... Rude: But we have commercial sign. Reno: RUDE! I'm trying to figure out... [Sees the light flashes] Oh. We'll be right back. [Reno hits the button.] **************************************************************************** WARNING! WARNING! BAD LYRICS AHOY! [The scene shows a wierdo dancing to a song holding a yellow can of Whoop-ass] The Song goes: [Think the Jooky song] Going out on the beach To beat the heat, then a guy comes and tries to beat you up, You hold the can out and say 'Tough'. [Refrain] Whoop-Ass Whoop-Ass It's a party in a can Whoop-Ass Whoop-Ass Better than a huge fan Whoop-Ass Whoop-Ass Blows up like Charley-4 Whoop-Ass Whoop-Ass It will make them hit the floor. [End of Refrain] Open it up and you will see Explosive Energy like a mad bee Unleash it on your foe Then he is no more. [Refrain again] Announcer: Whoop-ass! The official kick-ass drink of the AAAT! Now comes in Cherry-4, Killer Bee Honey, and Unibomber-Grape. **************************************************************************** PREPARE FOR THE FINALE! PART 16 BEING SERVED IN A CAFE NEAR YOU SOON! 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