The author of this story has given me permission to post this.
That does not mean he agrees with anything that I have written, just
that he has a sense of humour and is a good sport.
    Artmic and Youmex of course own BGC, and 'The Puppet' belongs to
its Author, and the commentators belong to me. And the MST concept
belongs to someone else as well (how is that for legal talk?).
    This is done for the purposes of humour and should not be taken
too seriously.
    Let's begin.


(The Scene:
	A living room, with several chairs and a couch, there is a bar
in the far corner--it looks to be well stocked. It is decorated in
questionable style, steel and glass with a sixties motif that is best
not thought about. On the wall in front of the couch is what appears
to be a picture of dogs playing poker. It is actually a
liquid-crystal-display screen.
	Lying on the couch is Ree. She is asleep and is wearing a
normal suit.
	Domino enters. She walks over to the couch and gently shakes
Ree's shoulder.)

	Domino: Ree, wake up.
	Ree: (Sleepily) Oneesan is tired Emiko, I can't play with you.
	Domino: (Shakes Ree harder) Wake up!
	Ree: (Starts awake) Domino? You aren't Emiko.
	Domino: Your brilliance continues to amaze me. We have work to
do.
	Ree: (Sits up on the couch) You sound a little pissed off
today.
	Domino: You play a junior high school girl in an idol singer
anime and see if you can avoid being pissed off.
	Ree: I don't think I can. (She leans forward, holding up her
hands to emphasise her breasts.)
	Domino: (Sits down) Show off. Say, does the way you are
dressed have anything to do with that mecha out in the parking lot?
	Ree: That's my Gundam Heartbreaker. It's the third most
powerful Gundam in the Moon/Colony theatre of war.
	Domino: And it is here because?
	Ree: We are doing the final battle scene. I'm leaving right
after we finish up here.
	Domino: That sounds...(pauses)  fun?
	Ree: It will be great. After I kill a whole bunch of people I
get to take out the heroine's love interest. The heroine then freaks,
comes fully into her New Type powers and blows me out of space. Then
my lover and the heroine go nuts on each other.
	Domino: I thought you were unkillable.
	Ree: Only in the Starblade world.
	Domino: I see.
	(Scene: Elenoin enters the room)
	Elenoin: Whose mech in the parking lot?
	Ree: That's mine. The Gundam Heartbreaker.
	Elenoin: It's nice.
	Ree: Isn't it.
	Elenoin: (Sits beside Ree on the couch) It is a bit too top
heavy, however. If you want, I could fix that. And I'll even put an
Elazer engine in it, and give you a buster cannon.
	Ree: (Thinks about it) Sounds good, but I can't. They have
already done the model kits. If I show up for the final battle in a
redesigned Gundam, Sunrise will kill me.
	Elenoin: Too bad. So, what are we doing today?
	Domino: (Produces several sheets of paper) A BGC Fanfic called
'The Puppet'. It was written by Jason Gregory.
	Ree: The Puppet?
	Domino: That's what it is called.
	Elenoin: When Pinocchio goes bad.
	Domino: Good one.
	Ree: I think it is starting.
	Domino: Hey, I just noticed. The German Sheppard has an ace
under its rear paw.
	Ree: Well, it is German.
	Elenoin: This moment of national understanding brought to you
by the letter G and the number 8.
	(Scene: The picture of the dogs playing poker flickers and the
fic begins.)

A BGC MST (4)

by Shawn Hagen

	Domino: Booo!
	Ree: You tell him Domino!

>The Puppet

>by Jason Gregory

>Disclaimer: Knight Sabers is not owned by me or anybody I know.
>  Please don't sue.

	Ree: And he probably does not have any money either.
	Domino: Never sue people without money.

>    It was your standard night in MegaTokyo meaning that another 
boomer
> had gone on a rampage and destroyed much property and many lives.

	Domino: Just a standard night.
	Elenoin: No doubt happens so often that it is a tourist
attraction.
	Domino: Come for the rampage, stay for the sushi!
	Ree: Bubblegum Crisis cliché 1: Boomers are always rampaging.

>The police were hopelessly outmatched and the task fell once again to
> the Knight Sabers.

	Ree: Bubblegum Crisis cliché 2: The police are never able to
do anything.
	Elenoin: Do you think the Knight Sabers also catch
purse-snatchers?
	Domino: All I can think of is poor Trooper 28. You know he did
not make it.

>This would not be a problem normally.  Most boomers would have been 
>destroyed within minutes of the Sabers showing up, but not this one.

	Domino: It had been fitted with a special plot-contrivance
field.

>It refused to stand it ground and kept leading the Sabers farther and 
farther
> from the core of the city.

	Ree: And the Knight Sabers, being so stupid, completely missed
this significance of this.

>Finally, in the outskirts of an abandoned industrial park the boomer 
stopped running.

	Domino: (Sylia Imitation) It stopped running, we can go home
now.
	Ree: They should have used those bunny batteries.

>It seemed to have reached whatever destination it was trying to 
achieve for now it
>turned to fight.

	Elenoin: A slightly jarring sentence.

> The results of which were fairly predictable.

	Ree: Fairly predictable? What? Is it a hyper boomer, about to
kick their collective asses, or an old C-Class, about to die?

> The departing Sabers never noticed sparks coming from a damaged power 
relay,
>one that would have incredible impact on them in the days and weeks to 
come.

	Ree: We did mention the Knight Sabers are idiots did we not?
Just want to make sure you get that point.
	Domino: Those must have been big sparks.
	Elenoin: Fortunately it was just a power relay and had nothing
to do with the boomer--which they might or might not have destroyed.


>[Power Interrupted]
>[Activate Internal Generator]

	Domino: If your boomer is listless, trying activating its
internal generator.
	Ree: Wow, Genom is pretty smart. Me, I would have put the
generator on the outside.
	Elenoin: My internal stomach is kind of turning.

>[Internal Generator Active]
>[Activate Subsystems]
>[Subsystems Active]
>[Activate OS]

	Ree: Unfortunately the OS was Windows 2000. It crashed. The
end.

>[OS Active]

	Domino: [Start Playing Solitaire]

>[Activate Core Systems]
>[WARNING: Core Systems Damaged]

	Domino: Warning, warning, my arms are flailing about
dangerously.

>[Active Personality Program]

	Elenoin: I hope it chooses Marvin.
	Ree: Slightly obscure.

>     The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was an intense bright 
light.
> I quickly closed my eyes.

	Ree: Good call.


> [Adjusting Ocular Settings]

>     Opening my eyes a second time revealed a somewhat dim room.

	Domino: Had the gamma correction up a little too high I guess.


>A quick glance around revealed that either the cleaning lady was no 
employed for no
> one had been there in a very long time.

	Domino: Usually when you use either there is another
possibility.
	Ree: (Scottish accent) Ach, the cleaning lady is no employed
here.

>This raised an interesting point, what was I doing here?

	Ree: You are staring in a bad fanfic. Just read the lines and
it will be over quickly.
	Elenoin: Close your eyes and think of England.

>     Searching the room had proved useless except to find a set of 
clothing
>sized to fit me.

	Elenoin: Sounds almost as if the room had been searched before
this person awoke.
	Ree: Sounds like a computer game.
	Domino: Use your action key to pick up the clothing, then go
South.


>I guess at this point I should describe myself, well I appear to be 
around
>five foot five, black hair with Japanese features.

	Ree: Isn't black hair a Japanese feature?
	Domino: Not in Anime.
	Elenoin: Her black hair had Japanese features?


>Perhaps I should include the fact that I'm a women with a figure that 
leans
>more towards athletic than anything else.

	Ree: The heavy, muscular build of a weight lifter or the lean
form of a gymnast?
	Domino: You know, athletic.

> Finding the clothes in my sizes meant that either they were mine to 
begin with
>or somebody was being VERY through.

	Domino: VERY through with those clothes that is.
	Ree: Look at them. Last year's style, and the colours are just
dreadful.

> Since I had no clue as to the origin of the clothes I decided that I 
needed more
>information.
>    Since the only physical features in the room was a door and the 
bed I woke up lying
>on I decided to explore the door.

	Ree: Think you could use 'since' a few more times?
	Domino: We set out to explore the door with a team of twenty.
By the time we were done we had lost sixteen.
	Elenoin: It does really read like a computer game walkthrough,
doesn't it?


>It wasn't that massive or impressive nor was it locked.  Opening it up 
I
>discovered why, the other side had been bricked up.

	Ree: In a desperate attempt to keep the fanfic from continuing
no doubt.

>    Now I'm not the kind of person to panic easily but seeing the 
brick wall
>where a doorway should have been really threw me for a loop

	Ree: Holy 'Cask of Amontillado' Batman!
	Domino: Most people, upon discovering that they are bricked up
in a room, take a blasé attitude.

>and I slammed the wall with my fist.  Seeing several bricks loosen 
from the
>impact quickly gave her an idea and with several punches I managed to
>create a hole large enough to crawl through.

	Domino: What a brilliant idea. Who would have thought of
KNOCKING THE BRICKS OUT SO YOU COULD ESCAPE!
	Elenoin: If the sudden tense changes don't give you whiplash,
the inexplicable changes from first to third person likely will.


>   "Must be cheap mortar."

	Ree: (Looking around) Who said that?

>     I didn't recognise anything so I started wandering, three hours 
later
>I found myself

	Domino: In desperate need of a better transition.
	Ree: I might have said a period.

>in the shopping district of whatever city I was in. There were a 
number of shops
>and by snagging a discarded newspaper I was able to find not only the
>date but also the name of the city I had found myself in.

	Elenoin: Which would be?
	Ree: Oh come on, you know that she, it, is in MegaTokyo.

>The date seemed wrong for some reason I could not pin down.

	Ree: Maybe because it was in Japanese?
	Elenoin: This is probably foreshadowing for the fact she has
lost several weeks.
	Domino: Foreshadowing, the sign of fine fanfiction everywhere.

> I found myself in a spot of trouble, no money, no friends, and low on 
information.

	Domino: Hey, it's just like an American Express commercial.
	Ree: (Deep) What will you do?

>The first two would take a while to rectify but the third could be 
done as soon as
>I could find a library.

	Ree: Why didn't she read the newspaper for more than just the
date and the city's name?
	Domino: Because she is illiterate? Why are you asking me?

>     It was just my luck that there was a library nearby

	Ree: (Coughing) Plot contrivance.

> and after selling the librarian a story about how I was a student 
from a
>nearby collage doing a paper on recent history for a class I was
>given access to both the library's computer and archival material.

	Domino: (Librarian) Well, it is a nice story, but I won't give
you more than 100 yen for it.
	Ree: (Protagonist) Oh come on, that won't even get me a Coke.
It's worth at least 200 yen.
	Domino: I suppose. Mind if I ask why you didn't just read a
newspaper?
	Ree: (Homer Simpson) Doh!
	Elenoin: (Laughs) She goes to a library. Alice, meet the
boomer woman, boomer woman, this is Alice. Ignore the talking mouse.
	Domino: Excuse me?
	Elenoin: Just being really obscure.

> I proceeded to quietly work until the library closed for the night.
> Towards the end I was accumulating information at a pace that was
>starting to worry me.  Now armed with information I needed to get 
money
>and a place to stay,

	Ree: Yeah, she was worried, so worried she promptly forgot it.
	Domino: Character introspection: learn it, love it, live it.


> strangewasn't hungry or thirsty and it suddenly dawned on me that I
>hadn't felt the call of nature since I woke up.

	Domino: Strange wasn't hungry?
	Elenoin: Remember kids; if you don't excrete, you blow up.
	Ree: This message brought to you by Bob, the Bowel Movement
Panda.


>  Now I was really freaked.

	Elenoin: As we said, if you don't excrete, you blow up.
	Ree: Is it telling that the fact she hasn't been to the
bathroom is her biggest concern?
	Domino: Hopefully we won't be getting all scatological.

> Freaked or not I needed money and shelter for the night.  I thought
>of mugging a few businessmen but discarded that as too high risk for
>the profit margin.

	Domino: I was thinking of mugging a few businessmen, but my
accountant told me it was too high risk.
	Elenoin: Think she'll go into the oldest profession?
	Domino: I would. Then again, I don't think rolling a few,
drunken salarymen to be all that risky.

> Deep in thought I allowed my feet to lead me where they may.

	Ree: She followed them by scent!
	Domino: Another of those pesky tense changes.

> Too bad, if I had been paying attention I might have avoided
>that first battle.

	Domino: Oh, look. The game has entered combat mode.
	Ree: Wait until your power meter is full, and then attack.
	Elenoin: No, attack as soon as you can, then use the healing
magic to keep going.

>     The first indicator that I may have gotten into trouble was when
>the street in front of me exploded.

	Domino: Hey look, the street exploded. Seems to me this might
be a clue.


> If that wasn't a large enough sign the screams of the dead and dying
>would have alerted even the most unobservant.

	Ree: Wow, that's deep.
	Elenoin: Not to nitpick, but the dead usually don't scream.
The dying, on the other hand, often scream a lot.

>    Father down the street was my first glimpse of a boomer, pretty
>ugly from what I could see.

	Domino: I guess that might mean that there was a boomer down
the street.
	Ree: That sentence is pretty ugly, from what I could see.

>  The damn thing had what looked like missile racks on its shoulders,
>clueing me into that this was a military model and that I was in
>serious trouble.

	Elenoin: She is the smart one.
	Domino: No. Don't be silly; missile launchers are standard on
all custodial boomers.
	Ree: Keeps the litterers honest.

> When it turned its head to look straight at me I was pretty sure I'd 
be
>meeting god in a moment.

	Domino: (Boomer Voice) I'm going to introduce you to God!
Godfrey Smith, look, he's hiding behind me.

> [Hostile Detected]
>[Activate Battle System]

	Ree: Looks like we were premature. Now the game has entered
combat mode.
	Domino: I guess the above was just the cut scenes.

>    Suddenly as if someone had flipped a switch my rising panic
>disappeared,

	Elenoin: She has a panic switch?
	Ree: Maybe if we can turn it back on she'll run away, and the
fic will end?

> I began to study the boomer noting weak points and apparent 
strengths.
>The missile racks would have to go,

	Ree: (Camp) Those missile racks will just have to go. And that
chair! Dear lord, it just screams 1970.


> hopefully the missiles had a safety range that I could get inside.

	Elenoin: Because if your missiles explode in the launchers
they aren't doing you much good.

>     "What the hell am I thinking? I don't wanna get close to that 
thing!"

	Domino: I assume that the protagonist is speaking?

>     "Mommy! Mommiiiieeeee!"

	Ree: I'm stuck in a bad fanfic mommy! Save me!

>     It was the plaintive cry of a small girl, 

	Domino: Fanfic mistake 1: Putting a small child in danger will
not necessarily make your readers care.

>not understanding why her mother wouldn't move.

	Ree: I don't understand why her mother would not move either.
It is because she is dead, or is she a panicky idiot standing in a
puddle of her own urine? We need details dammit!
	Elenoin: I could do without the urine details myself.


> When the boomer turned to face the crying child I knew my fate
>was sealed.

	Domino: Embracing her fate as a coward she used the little
girl as a distraction and ran away.
	Ree: (Laughs) That would be a nifty little plot twist.

> Something in me wouldn't allow this little girl to come to harm from
>this monster.

	Domino: Fanfic mistake 2: Making your protagonists care about
little children will not necessarily make the readers care.

>I made my views known with a kick to the boomers head.

	Ree: (Sings) Boot to the head, nya, nya. Boot to the head,
nya, nya...
	Domino: You can tell that this one was on her high school's
debating team.

>    The battle wasn't even into it's first minute and already I knew
>I was in trouble.

	Ree: That's nothing. This fanfic wasn't even into its first
sentence and I knew it was in trouble.

>This thing was tough and I don't think it was even feeling my blows
>all I was doing was buying time. Time for the girl to get away, time
>for help to arrive, and perhaps time for me to find a way to end this
>battle without dying.  If there was such a way.

	Ree: Use the cheat codes.
	

>     A moment of respite allowed me the chance to glance at here
>the girl had been, she hadn't moved.

	Ree: Dead or panicky idiot?
	Elenoin: Hello! Flight or fight. Natural selection and all
that. Any humans that stood around when trouble showed were weeded out
of the gene pool a long time ago.

>The boomer caught my glance and got this truly evil look in its eye.

	Domino: The other eye got this truly good look.
	Ree: This thing is pretty damn emotive for a combat boomer.

>    "The girl will not survive."  It's coldly modulated voice set my
>teeth on edge.

	Ree: I suppose that means that the boomer is speaking?
	Elenoin: I don't think the mother would have a coldly
modulated voice.

>    "Her fate is not for you to determine."  I don't know where the
>words came from but they seemed right.

	Domino: I don't know where the words came from either. Just
who is talking? Throw us a bone!

> "She will die." A calm statement of fact was not what I had expected
>from a boomer that was just kicked in the head.

	Ree: What did you expect? That the boomer would drop to its
knees and cry? I mean, you told us that you did not think that the
boomer was feeling your attacks. And this is a Boomer here. They tend
to be emotionless killing machines after all. (Looks at Domino)
Present company excepted.
	Domino: Why? I often am an emotionless killing machine.


>Authors Note: The dreaded cliff hanger makes its appearance.

	Ree: That's okay. My dreaded cleats make their appearance. Now
excuse me while I tap dance along the cliff's edge.

> This was an idea that just wouldn't go away.

	Ree: Get a restraining order next time.

>  If people like it I might add more, 

	Elenoin: Was any more added?
	Domino: Nothing on the boards according to the producers.
	Ree: Suddenly my respect for people has shot up.

>if you have C&C please e-mail me at: big_scary_guy@hotmail.com

	Ree: Look, it's big scary guy.
	Domino + Elenoin: (bored tone) We're scared.

>Flames will be used to fuel the fires of hell.

	Domino: Isn't fuel usually used to fuel fires, and flames the
result of fuel?
	Ree: Say that three times fast.
	Elenoin: That, that, that.
	Ree: Oh, how droll.
	Elenoin: Well, now its time for some, hopefully, useful
criticism.
	Domino: There were some spelling mistakes, but none of them so
bad that it got in the way of reading the story. They are the sort of
things that would probably be caught with a couple of prepost
proofreads. The grammar on the other hand was somewhat troublesome.
Pick a tense and stick with it.
	Domino: As for the style, well, those larger paragraphs could
have been broken down into two or three smaller ones. And there was
blank space used in-between scene transitions as well as some
paragraphs. It was not so much a problem with this story, but if the
story had been longer, it would have become very annoying.
	Ree: Well, this author lost me with the first sentence. Just a
standard night in MegaTokyo with a standard boomer rampage. That is a
bad way to start any work off, unless this was anti-fic, in which case
letting us know it was an anti-fic would have been nice.
	Ree: The Knight Sabers show up for only a few lines, and they
are basically presented as terribly unobservant. I would have been
happier if it had been the ADP who had blown the boomer away. I could
accept the ADP missing some odd things going on afterwards; at least I
could accept it more of the ADP than the Knight Sabers.
	Ree: And this woman, she has the smell of an author avatar. If
the early behaviour of the Knight Sabers is going to be taken as an
indication, then I see an author avatar that will constantly make
them, the Knight Sabers, look stupid. If she is going to be an Author
Avatar however, she probably won't be annoying as DJ Croft, which is
the only good thing I can say.
	Elenoin: I usually like to say something good, but I can't.
	Ree: I see you agree with me.
	Elenoin: Yes and no. I suspect there might be an interesting
idea in the story, but I really can't tell. Who is this woman? I mean
is she amnesiac? Does she have no memories what so ever? Does she
remember going to bed in her apartment before waking up in the bricked
up room? If I had any idea who this woman was, then I might actually
care about what happens to her.
	Elenoin: I would really like to know why she does not simply
go to the police and tell them she woke in a bricked up room and would
like someone's help.
	Elenoin: Admittedly, seeing as it is written in the first
person, for the most part, we are limited to what the POV character
knows. Still, a first person character could have let us know a little
about herself, like her name, or the fact she does not know her name.
Maybe she could have actually spoken to the librarian and during that
conversation some more information could have been given to us.
	Elenoin: All in all there is nothing here that would make me
seek out any other parts.
	Ree: You done?
	Elenoin: Yes.
	Ree: (Stands up) I have to go then. Into the valley of death
and all that. (She heads out)
	Domino: Have fun storming the castle.
	Elenoin: So, where should we go this time?
	Domino: Well, how about we go to my place and my cabana boy
Carlos will give us warm-oil-massages.
	Elenoin: You have a cabana boy?
	Domino: Just a little luxury I allow myself, as well as the
big apartment, the cars, the maids and everything else.
	Elenoin: (Stands) Warm-oil-massages sound good.
	Domino: (Stands) They always do.
	(Scene: They leave. The screen behind them flickers and
returns to displaying the dogs playing poker.)

The Puppet
by Jason Gregory

MST by Shawn Hagen  (shawn-hagen@rogers.com)

Other MSTs

BGC Janus (1)
BGC Those Eyes (2)
BGC Dreams (3)
BGC The Puppet (4)
BGC The Next Generation (3 Parts)(5)
BGC Sylia's Choice (6)
BGC In the Midst of it All - Chapter 1 (7)
BGC in the Midst of it All - Chapter 2&3(8)
BGC in the Midst of it All - Rewrite (9)

'Bad Girls Riff Bad Fanfic'

"We're here is the engineering section of the Starship
Enterprise where we have replaced the fine dilithium
crystals they usually use the Folgers crystals. Let's
see what happens."
Shawn Hagen<shawn-hagen@rogers.com>