MSTed by: Mark Foster - foster@powerup.com.au Original author: Brett Handy. Appleseed is the creation of Masamune Shirow and is owned and copyrighted by Masamune Shirow, Seishinsha and Dark Horse. Ranma 1/2 copyright Ruminko Takashi/ Shogakukan Inc. MST3K is copyright Best Brains Inc. Shifters is the work of Brett Handy and is copyrighted by him. ---------------------- (Sattelite of Hitomi) [Briareos is STILL working on the teleport machine and Sokaku is reading "Good Omens". Fang is nowhere to be seen.] BRIAREOS: Hmmm, if I recalibrate the Moff gyro and reset the Haydanist Quantum device then maybe I can bypass the Yatana protection. SOKAKU: [still reading] You made that up. BRIAREOS: Just shut up. [The viewscreen flickers on. Hitomi and Yoshi are dressed up but still looming at the camera.] HITOMI: [on V.S] Hey, gerbils! [Briareos and Sokaku amble up the viewscreen, Fang sneaks out of the theatre and joins them.] BRIAREOS: Where were you? FANG: Oh, busy. HITOMI: [on V.S] Yoshi and I have to go out tonight. The Mad Scientist Society is having a dinner tonight and I have to be there. SOKAKU: So we don't have to have a fanfic sent up? We get a night off? YOSHI: [on V.S] Of course not! HITOMI: [on V.S] We've got more Shifters for you. Take the fanfic where it hurts, boys! YOSHI: [on V.S] Shall I push the button? HITOMI: [on V.S] Push the button, Yoshi! [The Fanfic sign starts flashing.] ALL: We've got the generic fanfic signnnn! [All three rush into the theatre. They sit down in order: Sokaku, Briareos and Fang.] > A Ranma1/2 Fan-Fic > Shifters > Part 3 > > By > > Brett Handy > > With thanks to Hubert Santos SOKAKU: a.k.a Humbert Humbert. > > Kathy Thomas, ran towards the Dojo carrying two plates > full of hot food. When she entered it, she placed them > alongside about a dozen other plates, all full of other > delicious-looking types food. "Phew!, that's the last of > them", she exclaimed. BRIAREOS: Oh great. Intense and swinging plate carrying action. Now I've seen it all. > > Akane looked down at her from where she was hanging up > decorations, "Well, give me a hand with this then", she said. SOKAKU: [as Kathy] A frozen cucumber? Kinky! > > Kathy smiled and moved over to give her a hand. "Geeze > your putting a lot of work into this party for that 'stupid > baka'", she observed. FANG: Meanwhile we observed the mindless monotony. > > Akane looked at her angrily, "It's not that I just.....", > she broke off as she saw the knowing look in Kathy's eye. SOKAKU: [as Akane] Aggaiiin? But we just had a bedroom break ten minutes ago! > Akane blushed to the roots of her hair. > [All imitate snoring.] > "Don't worry Akane, I won't tell", Kathy giggled. Just > as the two girls had finished putting up the decorations, the > first guests started to arrive. Several friends of Ranma's FANG: Oh wow. It's a rogue apostrophe! SOKAKU: They were Kelvin, Ralph, Julie, Guido and Babe. FANG: Mmm, obscure-o-rama. > from school, followed by some of Akane & Kathy's friends all > walked into the Dojo. BRIAREOS: So guests arrived? FANG: Yes, thank you. > > ***DING DONG*** (doorbell) FANG: The witch is dead! (doorknob) > > "Not again", thought Kasumi. BRIAREOS: [as Kasumi] Those damn school children and their "Walk-a-thons"! > She had answered the door > at least a dozen times tonight. She walked over to the door > and opened it, FANG: And pumped hot lead into the Jehovah's Witness. >to see a young man in his early twenties. He > stood about six foot four, had brown hair and eyes and smiled SOKAKU: [as man, evil] I like you. > warmly. "Yes??", Kasumi asked. "Ahh, you must be Kasumi, > Ranma and Akane talk about you all the time", the young man FANG: [as young man] They mentioned you take crack. You got any for me? > exclaimed. Kasumi invited him in, "I take it you've come for > the party?", she said. The young man motioned hitting himself SOKAKU: -in the groin. > in the head, "Oh.. sorry, the name's Jim Williams, I'm one of > Ranma's teachers", he said reaching out to shake her hand. BRIAREOS: He had a grip like a dead fish. > She returned his handshake, "Pleased to meet you, Mr Williams, > Akane and Ranma have told me a lot about you too", she said. SOKAKU: [as Kasumi] Especially about your habit of walking into the classroom without your pants! > "Please call me Jim", he said. FANG: [as Kasumi] But I don't know his number! >Kasumi led him out to the Dojo > where the party had already started. FANG: The booze was flowing and the girls were getting naked. BRIAREOS: A scream was heard and a body was found on the beach. FANG: This isn't 'Blackrock'! > > Ranma was having a great time, after at first being a bit > cautious about having a party, things weren't going too bad. BRIAREOS: Because he had two half-naked girls fawning over him! > Everyone appeared to be having a good time, Ukyou and Akane > were getting along well, and it seemed that Shampoo had > forgotten to come. Ryogua was behaving himself, leaving his > umbrella outside for the evening. "Yes..", Ranma thought, "it > doesn't get any better than this". Ranma saw his teacher Jim > Williams walk into the Dojo, talking to Kasumi, so he walked over to > him. "Hello Jim", said Ranma, "How do you like the party?". [All three sit there in stunned silence.] FANG: That whole paragraph had everyone more OOC than the Evangelion characters in 'Delta Invasion'! > > Jim looked at his friend strangely, "Well I like it fine, > how do *you* like it", he asked. SOKAKU: [as Ranma, lisping] Ohh, you bitcth. You knowth howth I likth it! >Ranma had previously confessed > to Jim that he was not looking forward to this party. FANG: [as Ranma] You don't win friends with salad. > > "Well its not nearly as bad as it could be", he said. BRIAREOS: [as HG] There's plenty of tooly action! > > Jim looked briefly downcast, then he brightened, "Oh well, > you'll probably want your present then?", he asked. BRIAREOS: I think this calls for the perfect 'der' moment. ALL: DEERRRR! > > Ranma's eye's lit up, "You didn't have to get me a present", he > said. SOKAKU: [as Ranma] But did you get the cucumbers I asked for? > > Jim grinned, "well it really isn't much", he said. [Sokaku makes the sound of a fly being unzipped] >He took > out a large envelope and pulled out a small piece of paper, which he > handed to Ranma. SOKAKU: [as Ranma] A bill for services? $1000 for two nights? BRIAREOS: [as Jim] Whooops! Wrong paper. > > "What's this??", Ranma asked in a confused tone. > FANG: It's a piece of paper but thats not important now. > "Its you school results so far for this semester!", Jim > laughed, "as a favour, I got them for you this afternoon, so you > don't have to wait two weeks to find out how you've gone". Ranma > looked at the piece of paper as if he was holding a live snake. BRIAREOS: [as Ranma] ARRGH! It's a Taipan and it just bit me! > > Jim had just finished handing out the school results to > Akane and Kathy, when he head a shout of joy from behind him. He > turned to look SOKAKU: -at Lisa Foster surrounded by Shampoo, Kasumi, Akane and Nabiki. FANG: Wouldn't 'see' work better than 'look'? >at Ranma jumping up and down and cheering. BRIAREOS:[as Ranma, ocker] LEESSSBIIANNNNSS! > > "What's he so happy about??", wondered Akane. The three of > them headed over to Ranma, who was still excitedly jumping up and > down. "I got an A, I got an A", he was saying. > FANG: [as Ranma] See! Right there after the R and before the M! > Akane and Kathy exchanged a glance, "What subject did you > get an A for Ranma?", Kathy asked. SOKAKU: Fanservice 101. FANG: Cliches 215. BRIAREOS: Bad Grammar 320. > > "Would you believe I got it for 'computer basics'?" Ranma > grinned. SOKAKU: [as Maxwell Smart] Would you believe 'Advanced Mathematics'? FANG: [as Maxwell Smart] Would you believe 'Physics'? BRIAREOS: [as Maxwell Smart] Would you believe 'Astrophysics'? > > Jim looked innocent when the two girls turned to look at > him, "Hey I had nothing to do with it, Ranma earned that by > himself, he got an almost perfect score on the test", Jim > explained. SOKAKU: *cough bullshit cough* > > Akane looked peeved, she had only gotten a C, and just by > the skin of her teeth. Kathy sighed and said "well it looks like he > actually learnt something with all that 'detention' you subjected him > to", she said to Jim. BRIAREOS: [as campy Jim] Ohhh, he did! > > Jim smiled and said "Now isn't that much better than sending you > to stand outside with a bucket of water?". > ALL: No. > > Ranma was still excited over his school result, this was the > first time he had gotten a top mark in anything that didn't have to do > with sport. He had thought that the test was a little easy when he > was doing it, BRIAREOS: [as Ranma] One plus one? SOKAKU: [as Ranma] The second letter of the alphabet is? FANG: [as Ranma] How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The hell? > but here he was beating Akane and most of his friends. > "Let's see her call me a baka now", he thought. Suddenly the door to > the room burst in and standing in the doorway was Shampoo. "Oh no", > thought Ranma, "She's going to ruin everything". > FANG: [as Ranma] She's going to do her Jim Carry impersonation! > "Hello Ranma, Shampoo come to party!, give Shampoo kiss ?", > she said as she plopped herself into his lap. > SOKAKU: That's mighty undignified for an Amazon warrior to do. But then, she can plop into MY lap anytime! Heheheh. > "Ahhh.. well Shampoo, I errr ummm", he said unintelligently. Just > as Shampoo planted a kiss on Ranma's lips, Mousse came into the room. > [All make sucking sounds] > "Great, just what we needed", sighed Akane. SOKAKU: An orgy. FANG: [muttered] With all these comments I'm sure he hasn't gotten out of the house in a long time. > > Before Mousse could even move, Cologne placed a hand on his > shoulder, "Don't even think about it, weakling", she growled. BRIAREOS: [as Cologne] You are mine! *sluuurrpp* ALL: *retch* > Mousse looked like he was going to explode, but that frail, old > hand on his shoulder seemed to have the force of a vice. FANG: She's really Ah-nuld Schartznegger in a drag. He just can't keep out of those bad comedies! >Shampoo > finally got off Ranma, due to the fact that Jim had asked to speak > with him outside. BRIAREOS: [as Jim] You hussy Ranma! I thought you broke up with her! > > When Ranma and Jim finally got outside, Ranma breathed a > sigh of relief, "Thanks Jim, I owe you one", he said. ALL: Ohh errr! > > Jim just laughed, "Well I had to do something, Akane looked > like she was ready to rip Shampoo in half". > FANG: Looks like she's been practising on the ol' Yellow Pages again. > Ranma sighed and looked out at the stars, "sometimes I think my > life is one big fight", he said, "if I'm not fighting with Akane, I'm > fighting with Mousse or Ryogua or Kuno, or some demon that is passing > by....". ALL: DIDDUMS! BRIAREOS: Try being scouted by the KGB when you're four! FANG: Or a combat bioroid created for that purpose only. SOKAKU: Well, I can say I like being a EOD merc. > > Jim laid a hand on his shoulder, "I know how you feel", he > said quietly. > BRIAREOS: [as Jim] Yeah, I'm also a sex-changing martial artist with multiple fiancees! > Ranma looked up at that, "*You* know how *I* feel, what do > you mean", he exclaimed. FANG: [as Alex Trebek] Sorry Ranma, you must answer with a question! > > "Never mind", said Jim, "I mean I can sympathise with you". BRIAREOS: [hick] Well now, lookee here if that ain't foreshadowing! > > Before Ranma could ask any more questions, Jim asked him, > "Who was that old lady, that came in with Mousse?", he asked. > SOKAKU: [as Ranma] That's no old lady! That's my mother! > "That's Cologne", Ranma replied, "She's just an old crone, > who tries to make my life and everyone else's miserable, using > her cheap magic tricks". > FANG: [as Ranma] Wait a sec, I got her confused with David Copperfield! > Jim thought about it for a while and then excused himself, > saying that he would very much like to talk to this 'old crone'. BRIAREOS: Wink wink, nudge nudge. Say no more! FANG: Do you realise what you just SAID? BRIAREOS: Ugh! Bad mental image. SOKAKU: Remind me to beat you up later! > > > Cologne was sitting watching the young people, enjoying > themselves, remembering a time when she herself enjoyed parties. FANG: Sometime around the 1500s. >She > looked up as a young man approached, he looked no more than about 25, > but there was something about him that disturbed Cologne, something > she had not encountered in a long time. SOKAKU: And it was sticking out of his pants! Sorry, couldn't resist. FANG: I'm going to get you for that. >"Hello there, Cologne", the > young man said, sitting in a vacant chair beside her (all the chairs > around her were vacant), "I understand from Ranma, that you dabble in > a bit of magic", he said. "Yes, son-in-law is right, I do practice FANG: [as Cologne] -beating the knuckles of every man I come across. > magic", she replied. The young man looked at her strangely, "and what > do you sense about tonight?", he asked. Cologne closed her eyes and BRIAREOS: -said "I sense two cyborgs and a bioroid in pain!" > let her senses spread out, "Evil, great danger, horrible creatures, > coming closer", she said in a shocked voice. BRIAREOS: [as Cologne] They hired clowns! >Cologne had not been > afraid of anything for longer than almost anyone could imagine, but > tonight every fibre in her begin screamed out at her to run, escape, > flee the horror that was approaching. SOKAKU: It's the Tellytubbies, RUN! >"That's all I needed to know", > said the young man, getting up and moving towards the door, "thank > you", he said finally as he slipped out of the Dojo. Cologne looked > around for her granddaughter, they must be ready for whatever was > approaching. FANG: [british] Run away! > > Five black cars surrounded the Tendo house. From each car, > four men emerged, wearing dark blue suits. The men walked calmly to > the front of the house and proceeded to kick down the front door. BRIAREOS: Why? It's made of paper and bamboo! > Kasumi was sitting in the lounge room, taking a break from the party, > when she heard the front door splinter inwards. She ran for the Dojo > as the men in dark suits slowly walked through the house. SOKAKU: [german] Sarah Connah? >Ranma, who > was standing outside looking at the stars, heard the noise and ran FANG: -away. > towards the house, only to find Kasumi being held by the throat by one > of the men. The man motioned Ranma back to the Dojo. Ranma wanted to > rush to Kasumi's aid, but he didn't think he could before they hurt > Kasumi. SOKAKU: Uh-huh. And he never thought of using his super-speed? FANG: That's Superman, you idiot! SOKAKU: I was talking about his "Chestnuts roasting over an open fire" technique, boofhead! [Sokaku gives Fang the finger, Fang doesn't notice] > > Akane and Kathy were talking to Ukyou, when Ranma entered > the Dojo. They saw in a glance, at least a dozen men in black BRIAREOS: -tutus. > suits, one of the holding Kasumi. Akane let out a strangled cry > and ran towards the men holding her sister. Kathy grabbed her > arm, "Don't be stupid, they could kill her before you could do > anything", she said. FANG: [as Kathy] What am I thinking? Go right ahead! >Kathy recognised the men as being similar > in appearance to the ones that attacked her several months > before. "Alright everyone to the centre of the room", came the > harsh voice of the man holding Kasumi. Although many in the room SOKAKU: -were naked. > considered attacking, they all thought the better of it after seeing > that they couldn't possibly save Kasumi. Everyone moved into the > centre of the Dojo, looking Ranma counted twenty-one men in suits > surrounding them. BRIAREOS: Looking Ranma? Who's that? SOKAKU: And twelve men in a g-string! > > > Ranma was furious, if he ever got the chance he would wipe > the floor with the whole twenty of them. FANG: Mathematics not your strong point, Ranma? >Ranma looked around > again, someone was missing from his friends. Jim was missing > alright, he whispered to Akane, "did you see where Jim went?". SOKAKU: [as Ranma, sobbing] Abandoning me in my hour of need! > Akane shook her head. "Where the hell did he go?", Ranma > thought. One of the blue-suited men pushed open a door at the > far end of the room, Ranma look on as an Eagle followed by a Hawk and > a Falcon, all flew into the room and landed on the floor. Everyone > gasped as the three birds shimmered and changed, forming into human > bodies. BRIAREOS: ARRGH! Animorphs! Arrgh! > > Hardcourt looked at the pathetic specimens in front of him. SOKAKU: Hardcourt hand! *beep beep beep* [as Hardcourt] I'm the lowest of the low. FANG: AIIEEEE! Thanks for that DISGUSTING mental image, I'll never forgive you! >They > weren't even putting up a fight, the fools didn't realise that they > were dead already. BRIAREOS: [as Hardcourt] You are already dead. Atatatatataaa! >"Some of you", he began, "are shapeshifters, that > begin the case, I'll offer you this one chance to surrender and make > you deaths easier". The group crowded in the middle of the room > looked at each other in confusion, sure some of them were cursed, but FANG: -they were getting better! > no-one had ever called them shapeshifters before. Hardcourt pressed > his lips together, "Alright then, have it you way.... kill her", he > said to his man holding Kasumi. The man holding Kasumi smiled and > said "I don't think so!", and with that released Kasumi, who ran back > into the main house. "What are you doing, you fool!", screamed SOKAKU: [as man] What does it look like? I'm a shapeshifter and I can assume any form I want, you doofus! > Hardcourt. "I'm ruining your plans, Hardcourt", the man replied, > suddenly shimmering. > BRIAREOS: Oh no! Suddenly we've got a Star Trek crossover too! > Where a man in blue stood, there was the familiar form of > Jim Williams. "You!", exclaimed Hardcourt angrily, "This is the > last time you interfere with me". FANG: [as Hardcourt] I'll get you next time, Gadget. > > "Do you want to talk, or do you want to FIGHT!", bellowed > Jim, running straight at Hardcourt. Hardcourt also ran forward, > until them met in a stunning impact, BRIAREOS: The sequel to 'Deep Impact' >both of them shimmering and > reforming. Ranma took this opportunity to spin-kick one of the > men in blue, right in the head. The strange man grunted under > the impact and gave a few steps, but other than that he was not > affected. > FANG: It's T-1000. > Madaline looked at Casey, who was standing in shock at the > sudden appearance of another shapeshifter, "Well you heard him, SOKAKU: [as Madaline] -start dancing the Macarana! > tell you men to kill them", she said. Casey shook himself and > called out to his men, who were being hard pressed by Ranma and > company, "You fools, shift and kill them". BRIAREOS: Wow? Is the stink that bad? FANG: That's shift... > > Each of the men in blue stepped back from whomever they were > fighting, shimmering and reforming. Instead of twenty big men, now > there were twenty huge BRIAREOS: -Energizer Bunnies. > wolves. Ranma recoiled in horror, as the man > he was fighting, transformed, but never one to let an opportunity pass > by (at least one in a fight), Ranma kicked the wolf in its newly > formed head. The wolf, fell to the floor, unconscious, as Ranma's FANG: So, what didn't faze him a few moments earlier just knocked him out? He shifted into a weaker form? Well that just reaches the Hellstorm Evangelion level of villain stupidity. > foot smashed it's just-formed scull. Taking a break from his fight, > Ranma looked over to see how Jim was doing. SOKAKU: [as ref] Time out! > > There were two figures standing opposite each other near the > other end of the Dojo. One was a seven-foot tall warrior in BRIAREOS: -a sailor fuku. > blue-steel armour, standing tall and defiant. The other was a > seven-foot tall black, vaguely humanoid creature, its eyes were blood > red and the end's of its arms shifted back and forth between human > hands and razor-sharp claws. FANG: [as black guy]Hmm, should I punch him or slash him? Wish my arms would stay in one form so I could do one or the other instead of looking cool but useless. > > > The black creature spoke in a evil-sounding whisper, "now > you shall BRIAREOS: [as black creature] -pay for interfering with the ? fight, I had a bet on that! > die". It then threw itself at the tall knight, racking its FANG: As opposed to raking? > claws over his armour. The knight stood his ground, blocking as much > damage on its arm-shields as it could, occasionally kicking or > punching the black creature. SOKAKU: If he felt like it. BRIAREOS: [as whiny knight] Awww, but I don't wanna kick you in the goolys! >Kicks and punches flew as the two > combatants fought tooth and nail, neither giving an inch. Finally, > after many blocked slashes, the knight had one of his arm-shields > ripped from his body, the blue knight screamed out in pain, as the BRIAREOS: -Brittany Spears song started playing. SPELLING > black creature sunk its claws into his arm. Kicking with one foot the > knight drove one of it's armour spikes into the black creature's side. > The creature let out a spine-chilling shriek, as the spike embedded > itself deep into its stomach. BRIAREOS: Actually he 'eeked' like a meter-maid. SOKAKU: Why doesn't he 'shift' his vital organs somewhere safer? Cyborgs don't keep their brains in their heads. > > Akane and Kathy were working together to fend off the wolf- > creatures, kicking and punching in unison, they had already > knocked unconscious two of the creatures. Ryouga, on the other > hand was not doing so well, he was bleeding from several bites, > he was only just hanging on. Mousse was fighting beside Shampoo, who > was protecting her grandmother. SOKAKU: [as Cologne] I think I'll sit back, relax and let my flunkies take care of the bad guys. >Soun, Genma and Ukyou where fighting BRIAREOS: -each other for the 'WCW World Title' > in a triangular formation and holding their own. Nabiki, was nowhere > to be seen, having escaped back to the main house with Ranma's other > friends from school. SOKAKU: [british] Run away! >Ryouga had finally knocked out one other wolves, > when he was hit from behind by Casey, and knocked out. BRIAREOS: Despite being able to survive explosions at point-blank range. FANG: The Plot Contrivance Field makes him weak. BRIAREOS: It making us weak too! > > "Ryouga!", screamed Akane, trying to fight her way in his > direction. > FANG: [as Akane] P-chan! Oh wait, I'm not meant to know that. *giggle* > "No Akane, stay near me", shouted Kathy. Akane continued to move > towards the hurt Ryouga. Kathy suddenly found herself surrounded by BRIAREOS: -drunk Australians saying that they'd lost their mobile phones and wanted her number. > wolves, suddenly she was pushed to the ground and then found herself > lost in blackness. SOKAKU: She stepped into another one of those darn black holes. > > Madaline picked up Ryouga's body, "lets go", she said to > Casey. > > "But what about Hardcourt?", he said as he gestured to the > fight still going on down one end of the hall. > BRIAREOS: [as Madaline] In case you hadn't noticed, we have a feud. Any minute now Randy Savage will clothesline me. > "Forget him, we need these as prisoners, if we are ever > going to capture the rest", she replied, walking towards the back > entrance. > FANG: [as Madeline] Despite the fact that this never works in fiction or real life! > Casey picked up Kathy's body, as the wolves kept the rest of the > humans occupied. "Pull back in two minutes", he called out to his > men. Casey and Madaline shoved the unconscious forms into one of the > cars and drove away. Casey had over-estimated his men, it was less > than thirty seconds after he and Madaline had driven out, that the > last of his wolf-men was overwhelmed. FANG: Oh, I see Sokaku has been eating baked beans again. SOKAKU: Oh, I see Fang is using crass jokes again. > > As Ranma finished off the last wolf creature, the remaining > members of the group, turned to watch the fight at the other end BRIAREOS: [chanting] Austin! Austin! Austin! SOKAKU: [chanting] Rock! Rock! Rock! > of the Dojo. The black creature suddenly drove its claws into > the knight's throat. Akane screamed as the Knight's head FANG: -popped off on a spring. > separated from the rest of his body, and fell lifelessly to the BRIAREOS: Yes, they tend to do that. > floor. Ranma looked on in horror as the knight's blood flowed > onto the Dojo's floor. > SOKAKU: [as Ranma] Aw man, I just cleaned that! > "Roaring-Lion-Bullet", Ranma shouted, forming his Ki and > thrusting it at the black monstrosity. The black creature turned to > receive the Ki-blast right in the chest, BRIAREOS: Wow! Now that's what I call Express Post. > blowing it backwards, out > onto the grass. The black creature lay still, it's chest smoking. > Ranma looked around at his friends, seeing his sorrow reflected in SOKAKU: -their revelry. > their eyes. He walked over to the Knight's body, as he approached he > saw that the black creature was back up to it's knees. Ranma screamed FANG: -like a girl and ran away. > a challenge and ran forward, only to have his path blocked but a very, > very large black panther. Now Ranma doesn't like cats under most > circumstances, seeing this panther now made him stop dead in his > tracks. BRIAREOS: [faux laughter] FANG: Was that humour? It's so hard to tell. > > Everyone moved slowly towards the panther, which was pacing > in front of the bent-over black creature, but otherwise not > making any threatening moves. Ranma was wondering if he could > hit the creature with another Ki-Blast, when the Blue Knight's > body and head began to shimmer. When Ranma looked over at the > severed head, he saw that it was not Jim Williams head, but that SOKAKU: -of Luke Skywalker. > of the man called Hardcourt. Ranma looked at the black creature > incredulously, "Jim?", he said. BRIAREOS: Wow. An actual plot twist that has surprised me. I thought it was Darkwind's flunky. SOKAKU: Ha ha! You suck, Bri! BRIAREOS: And what did YOU think, Sokaku? SOKAKU: Errmm... [defeated] the same. >The black creature nodded, then > bent over, as if concentrating hard. SOKAKU: [as Jim] Ex-lax, do your magic! >Suddenly the black creature was > gone, and in its place kneeled Jim Williams. The panther then > shimmered, forming into a man in a grey suit, who moved quickly to > Jim's side, to support him, muttering something about "With friends > like these...". BRIAREOS: [as grey suit] -I could beat up all my old school bullies! > > Akane spoke up, in the silence that continued after that > last transformation, "Would somebody mind explaining what is > going on?". > BRIAREOS: [as Indian] Great big evil things come. > Jim looked over at Akane, "Uhh, this might take a while", he > groaned. > SOKAKU: Some Viagra might help. FANG: Oh, so those were the pills that you received in the post? SOKAKU: Shut up, I tell you! Shut up! > Bob was not having a good evening, first of all he had > failed to arrive in time to stop Jim's so-called friends from BRIAREOS: -searching his pockets for valuables. > attacking DarkWind. "Why does he insist on using such a horrible > looking fighting form", he thought to himself angrily. Bob examined > the wound on Jim's side carefully, "Do you have any bandages?', he FANG: Oh, that's good, Jim is so powerful that a giant stomach wound only needs bandages. > asked a young woman, who had just come out of the house. The young > lady nodded and quickly went to get a first-aid kit. Bob looked > around and the strange collection of people, all looking at Jim > curiously, "I hope they are worth all this trouble", he thought. > BRIAREOS: [as Bob] They'd better have that 'Babe Ruth' baseball card! > Jim finally brushed away Bob's hands, SOKAKU: From *down there*! BRIAREOS: [as Jim] Later! Later! *giggle > after having his > wounds tended to, "thanks partner, I owe you another one", he > said wryly. > ALL: Yeehaw, Pardner! > Bob just grinned and leaned over to whisper, SOKAKU: [as Bob] Might and Power has shortened to 5-1, our SP bookies will take a pounding! > "I've called > the clean-up team and they'll be here in five minutes, we might > want to get everyone out of here". BRIAREOS: Because Inferno is going to be part of the team! SOKAKU: [as Inferno] BURRRNNNNN!!! > > Jim nodded and stood up. Ranma was looking at him closely, > and everyone else seemed to look at him with fear in their eyes. He > sighed, "You'd think that with all the transformations that go on > around here, they'd be used to it by now". FANG: Except none of them turn into giant monsters. Even Pantyhose Taro is vaguely recognisable as a member of the animal kingdom. >Bob nudged him in the > ribs, "Well lets go..", he said ungently. Jim suddenly looked around, > "I get the feeling that someone is missing....", he said. > SOKAKU: [as Jim] Someone with a nice ass... > "Yes, Kathy and Ryouga were taken by those people who turned into > birds, *Sensei* Williams", Akane replied angrily. SOKAKU: [as Jim] Oh yeah! Ryouga is missing! > > Jim looked up, "How long ago?", he asked quickly. Akane > shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know about four or five > minutes". > BRIAREOS: So you do know, roughly? > Jim shook his head angrily, "There's nothing we can do about that > now, I think that you all had better come along with Bob and myself", > he said, motioning to the front door. > ALL: [singing] What's behind the front door? > "Just a minute, we're not going anywhere with you until you > tell me who and what you are and why those... *things* attacked > us", said an enraged Akane, "I can't believe that you'd just > write off Kathy and Ryouga like that". SOKAKU: [as Akane] Why, of course you don't have any secret plan to get them back! > > Jim looked at her seriously, "I'm very sorry that they were > taken, but there is nothing we can do about it at the moment", he > replied, "But we all must leave here at once". > BRIAREOS: [as Jim] The cops aren't gonna be happy when they find a headless body and your fingerprints on a katana...ooopsth! > Ranma walked over and placed his hand on Akane's shoulder, > "Come on Akane, its not Jim's fault this happened", he said > softly. > BRIAREOS: [as Ranma] Yeah, this would have happened if he hadn't shown up at our school as the studly new teacher.... really! > Akane knocked his hand off her shoulder, "How would you > know, Ranma?, what if he planned this whole thing", she said. > FANG: [as Akane] And why am I inserting question marks into the middle of a sentence against the most basic law of grammar? > Ranma looked Akane straight in the eye (something he almost > never did), "You've known Jim for quite a while, so have I, can > you really believe that He'd do this?", ALL: Because Jim is...GOD! FANG: Confirming something that we've known about author avatars since the dawn of writing! > he said, gesturing to the > damage to the Dojo. SOKAKU: [as Ranma] Our Dojomobile! BRIAREOS: Is that anything like a Gogomobile? > > Bob was grabbing at Jim's arm, 'Please sir, we must go now", he > said. FANG: [as Bob] I need to go bad! > > Jim nodded, "*I* am leaving now, if you want to hang around > here for those guys", he said pointing at the unconscious forms > lying on the Dojo floor, "to wake up, its fine by me!". With > that, Jim turned and walked out of the Tendo Dojo. ALL: Oooohh! Hissy fit! Hissy fit! > > Cologne was leaning against her cane, watching all this > going on, "", she said to > Shampoo and Mousse, getting up and following Jim. > > {Authors note: as with many other FanFics a set of <> indicates > either speaking in Chinese or one of Mr Panda's signs} > BRIAREOS: AND LO, DID I DECIDE THAT MY FANFICS WILL HAVETH THEM. > Akane was still angrily arguing with Ranma, as Cologne, > Mousse and Shampoo followed Jim out the door. "Where are they > going?", she said angrily. ALL: [singing] Over the rainbow... > > Kasumi walked over to Akane, BRIAREOS: INTENSE WALKING ACTION! > "Akane, if it wasn't for Jim, I > would probably be dead now, I think we can trust him", she said FANG: [as Kasumi] Of course, if he never came into our lives then I wouldn't have been threatened! > comfortingly. Genma and Soun nodded, Ukyou just stood waiting to see > what Ranma would do. Akane finally began to sob into Kasumi's > shoulder, "Its.. my fault.. Kathy.. If I hadn't...". Ranma looked SOKAKU: -out of place in a drama. > uncomfortable at this unexpected show of emotion from Akane. Slowly > the group walked out of the house and followed Jim down the street. BRIAREOS: Rrgh...[break down] Oh dear God, the over bearing levels of description. [Fang and Sokaku give Briareos a comforting pat on the back as he cradles his head in his hands.] FANG: Peter F. Hamilton can pull it off but fanfiction authors can't. SOKAKU: Hey, we'll give you first dibs on 'The Naked God' when it arrives. [Briareos looks up] BRIAREOS: Really? Thanks! FANG: Hey! You cheater! BRIAREOS: Heh heh heh. But seriously, the over-description is killing me! > > Jim was relieved as the rest of the group finally exited the FANG: Geez, now that is the most awkward use of the English language...EVER! spelling > house. "Follow me this way, we'll go over to my place", he said. The > battered and bruised group trudged through the streets, suddenly > looking back over their shoulders as a huge explosion consumed the SOKAKU: [chanting] INFERNO! INFERNO! INFERNO! > Tendo house. "My.. Home...", wailed Soun, suddenly collapsing with > the shock of it all. Genma reached down and picked up his comatose > friend. Nabiki looked at the fire through a haze of tears, it was all > gone, the pond where Ranma and Genma sparred, her room and her stash > of money. Akane and Kasumi both cried into each other's shoulders, > all their possessions gone. BRIAREOS: We are unmoved. FANG: Are we meant to be sympathic? > > Jim looked back at the remains of the Tendo house, sighing > as he realised that, he was responsible for this final > destruction. "There was no other way sir", said Bob, "We cannot SOKAKU: [as Darth Vader] -allow the rebel scum to live. > leave any evidence of our existence". The Tendo family slowly > began following Jim again, each of them looking anguished. Jim > turned away, resuming his trek through the city streets. "What a > great birthday!", said Ranma sarcastically. BRIAREOS: [as Ranma] At least it wasn't like my fourteenth when Pop mooned all of my friends. FANG: [as Genma] Just shut up, kid! I didn't have too much sake! > > It was nearing midnight when the weary group finally entered > Jim's apartment. "This is only temporary", Jim said, as everyone > tried to make themselves comfortable, "We'll move to somewhere else in > the morning". SOKAKU: [as Jim] Las Vegas, here we come! > > Soun had finally stopped crying and looked over at Jim, "Why was > that done to our home", he asked sadly. > SOKAKU: [as Jim] I had some marshmellows that I wanted toasted, you mind? > Jim stood and walked over to a large grandfather-clock, > "I'll explain as much as I can in a few moments, please excuse > me", he said. Jim turned the second hand of the clock twice > around once and then pulled backwards sharply. A hidden panel > opened in the wall and Jim quickly entered it. > BRIAREOS: Bruce Wayne was annoyed when he found Jim in the Batcave. > Bob looked at Jim's retreating figure, realising that he > would have to take care of their unexpected houseguests. "Would > anyone like some hot tea?", he asked. "Yes!", answered everyone > in the room. Bob sighed and moved over to the small kitchen, to > boil some water. He noticed one of the young women was staring > at him intensely, she had long hair and carried a pair of maces. SOKAKU: [as Shampoo] You come closer and you'll get eyefull of this mace. > > "You are cat?", she asked in broken Japanese. Bob smiled > and nodded, continuing to make the tea. > > Another girl got up and walked over to him, "So what exactly are > you guys", she asked. > > Bob looked at her, "Well Nabiki, I'm what we call a > changeling", he said. > BRIAREOS: We know their names, Bob and Jim will know their names, so why the useless exposition? SOKAKU: [as Nabiki] Well Bob, I'm what you call a schoolgirl. > "How do you know my name?", she asked curiously. FANG: [as Bob] That's nothing! I know your bra size! SOKAKU: It's a C cup! FANG: Just shut up, Sokaku. > > Bob grinned and suddenly shimmered. Nabiki yelped and > stepped back as a rather large tabby cat rubbed against her leg. > BRIAREOS: [as Nabiki] Aiiee! [imitates sound of cat being kicked against the wall] [The 'Meow Stick Mk. V' drops from the ceiling and knocks Briareos out] FANG: Never tempt those with power, Bri. > "So that was you on the roof", she said amazed. The tabby > nodded and suddenly shimmered back into Bob. Everyone in the > room had witnessed this little exchange (especially Ranma, who FANG: -was a peeping tom. > had jumped six feet in the air, at the cat's appearance), Nabiki > whistled, "So you have more than one form that you can assume?", > she asked. > SOKAKU: [as cat] Actually, I'm Salem. Bob is hiding in the closet over there. [Briareos groans and climbs back into his seat.] BRIAREOS: Geez... > Bob nodded, "We changelings can assume any type of a > particular animal, in my case I can change into any type of cat", he > explained. > BRIAREOS: And what animal is Jim? FANG: Well, he's not human... > "But how did you get this way?", asked Ukyou, 'Did you fall > into a magic spring like Ranma?". > SOKAKU: I want to make a crack about fairies and make believe but I can't. > Bob looked startled, 'Magic spring?, no I was *born* like > this", he said. BRIAREOS: Ugh! I'd hate to have been his mother. SOKAKU: It's a boy...no, it's a cat! It's a lion! It's a panther! It's not my kid, dammit! You've been sleeping with those shapeshifting aliens again! > > Everyone looked a little stunned, "But how?", asked Genma. Bob > looked a little uncomfortable, "Ahh well perhaps I > should let Jim explain", he broke off as the kettle boiled, FANG: [as Bob] Mommy hasn't told me about the birds and the bees yet. > "Tea's ready", he announced. > > "Alright James, what the hell has been going on?", asked an > concerned voice. BRIAREOS: [as Bruce Wayne] James? Who the hell are you? Get out of my batcave! > > Jim was seated in front of his communications station, > nervously fidgeting under the gaze of the silver-haired man on > the monitor. "Uhh, well sir", replied Jim nervously, "I've SOKAKU: [as Jim] -gone and involved a few innocents in our secret war... FANG: [as voice] Agaaiinn? Geez, I oughta to post you on the front lines. > encountered a few problems....", Jim proceeded to explain the > evening's goings on. BRIAREOS: In overly monotonous detail. Showing good sense, the man on the monitor hit the mute button. > > "I've warned you time and time again, don't underestimate > your opponents", said the man angrily. FANG: [as man] The Tellytubbies have merchandising like you won't believe! > > Jim gulped and blushed slightly, "Uhh, sir, I was wondering > if these people could use some of our facilities", he said in a > pleading tone, "Just until they get back on their feet", he > quickly added. SOKAKU: [as man] Well, as long as they flush... > > The silver haired man frowned and rubbed his eyebrows, "Very > well, but see that they stay out of the restricted areas.... I would > like to meet these strange shifters personally", he said thoughtfully. > BRIAREOS: [as man] Especially that Amazon chick....mmmm... > Jim sighed in relief, "Would you also please check out any > flights leaving the country in the last twenty minutes?", he > asked. SOKAKU: If they took Ryouga and Kathy to America or Australia then I will be VERY annoyed. > > The man smiled and shook his head, "Jim, try and be a bit > more careful in the future", he said. > > Jim smiled back, 'I will father". > SOKAKU: [as man] Shut up, we don't have a relationship. I disowned you, son of damn shapeshifting alien! BRIAREOS: [as Jim] Jahwhol Mein Fuher! > Jim finally emerged from his communications room, to the > smell of freshly made tea. "I'll have some of that", he said, > sitting down in one of the remaining chairs. BRIAREOS: And pointing at Shampoo. FANG: What would Deunan say about your obsession with Shampoo? BRIAREOS: Look, I'll let you read 'The Naked God' first. FANG: Woo-hoo! > > Bob handed him a cup of tea, 'I think everyone here wants an > explanation, sir", he said. > SOKAKU: [as Jim] Okay, when a Mommy and Daddy love each other very much... > Jim took a sip of tea and started to explain. "First of > all", he began, "there is a great difference between the way in > which I change my shape and you people do it. The main > difference begin that I was born with my abilities, and you have BRIAREOS: [as Jim] -nothing on me, you disgusting peons! > had them given to you". Jim stood and walked into a clear space > in the centre of the room, "I can become any shape I desire", he FANG: That'd go down well with the ladies... > explained, shimmering into the shape of a lounge chair. Reforming as > human, Jim continued, "*I* however prefer to assume humanoid shapes, > and don't often like to assume the form of inanimate objects". > BRIAREOS: [as Nabiki] Okay, and why can Bob only assume the form of felines? FANG: [as Jim] Just shut up, kid! I meld everything as I see fit. > "How were you born like this", asked Kasumi curiously. > SOKAKU: [as Jim] When a Mommy...wait! I already did that! > Jim smiled slightly, "I was born the same as the rest of > you, but only one of my parents was human", SOKAKU: [as Jim] The other was Odo. > he said. At the > shocked expression on everyone's faces, he stopped to explain, > "My father was a human, but, my mother was a shapeshifter", he > said, "although shapeshifters are a separate race, they can still > interbreed with humans". FANG: Yeah, and monkeys can produce human children! > > "I've never heard of shapeshifters before", said Ranma, "I > mean I've heard of them in legend and story, along with > werewolves and vampires". BRIAREOS: Huh? More like with spaceships and Bajorans... > > Jim nodded, "That's were most of us believe the legends of > vampires and werewolves came from originally", Jim said smiling, > "But for the record, none of my friends drink blood". SOKAKU: [as Jim] And for the record, I do! > > Everyone was listening closely to Jim's explanation, "But > where did the shapeshifters come from originally?", asked Akane. > SOKAKU: [as Jim] When a Mommy...oh wait, I see what you mean. > Jim stretched and assumed a more comfortable position in his > chair, "It began around two and a half thousand years ago, in a little > village on the steppes of northern Turkey. The village was in an > isolated little place and had everything that the inhabitants could > wish for. There was enough room for their livestock to graze, and > good fertile soil in which to grow food. The village got most if its > water from a large lake, from which flowed a small mountain stream. > The village had maybe thirty people living in it, with another fifty > to sixty living in the area. BRIAREOS: So, it was an ordinary self-sufficient village? FANG: Yes, thank you. >Late one night, the peaceful village was FANG: [as Jim] -invaded by English soccer hoons banned from the match at the next village. SOKAKU: [as Jim] -visted by the three little pigs and Snow White who were searching for Cinderella. BRIAREOS: [as Jim] -wiped out by Zods. > split by a roar of thunder, a huge meteor impacted into the lake, > flattening the trees on the waters edge (and incidentally wiping out > the local fish population). BRIAREOS: [as Jim] Which tends to happen when a meteor impacts with the force of nuclear explosion. >The villagers didn't know what had caused > the destruction and after tiding up, they continued their lives as if > nothing had happened. Five generations later, a young boy was the > first to discover one of the benefits of that unexpected meteor. He > had taken up a dare, and was climbing the cliffs above the village, SOKAKU: Cliff-climbing BEFORE it was trendy! Next on Geraldo. > intending on showing his friends how brave he was. Unfortunately he > slipped, plummeting to the earth. The villagers ran over to where the > boy had fallen, expecting to find his mangled body. Instead they > found a small sparrow sitting on a tree branch, which flew to the > ground and reformed into a human, that young boy was the first > shapeshifter". BRIAREOS: Dear God, that paragraph should be classified as a lethal nuclear level weapon for it's size alone! FANG: [Rebecca] It's not a meteor! It's a plot contrivance comet! SOKAKU: Mmm... Rebecca BRIAREOS: I'm surprised the villagers didn't beat the boy to death with sticks, in 500 B.C you tend to do that with the abnormal. > > Jim got up to make himself another cup to tea, "Most of the > villagers knew the boy, so they were not about to burn him at the > stake or anything drastic, they instead talked to him, having him BRIAREOS: [as Jim] -poked with hot pokers, stoned and finally drowned. > explain exactly how it felt when he changed", Jim sat back into his > seat painfully, "Well after much discussion, it was decided that the > boy would become the village's lookout, to keep lookout for the FANG: [as Jim]-wandering bandits lead by Tina Turner. > nomadic marauders that occasionally attacked the village, they had no > idea where the boy's abilities would lead them. In the years that > followed, more and more of the children exhibited these strange > abilities, changing into all manner of creatures. There were two BRIAREOS: [as Jim] -that fled the village in the carnage that followed and set up their own home in the wilderness. They married and lived happily ever after. Well, until the fifth baby who changed into an Elephant mid-birth! FANG: [as Ranma] Man, I hate sad stories. BRIAREOS: [as Jim] It wasn't all sad, they lived and had children. FANG: [as Ranma] That's what I meant! > distinct groups that began to emerge, the 'true' shapeshifters and the > changelings.", Jim looked over to Bob, "I take it you've explained > your abilities?", he asked, Bob nodded. "Everything went along fine", SOKAKU: [as Jim] The daily hangings of the freaks continued, the village population dwindled, there was no water... if you could call THAT fine! > Jim continued, "The village was very prosperous, and after almost > seven hundred years, ALL of the villagers were shapeshifters of some > description". BRIAREOS: [as villager] That Adbul! Changing into fat American talk show hosts all the time! > > Akane looked at him curiously, "Why the difference between > changelings and shapeshifters?, I mean if they were all exposed > to this meteor?", she asked. FANG: [as Akane] And can you tell me, man, why are humans so different? Why are plants and animals different? And why I'm usin' such mean grammar? > > Jim looked thoughtful for a while, "Well we've come to > believe BRIAREOS: [as Jim] -that Newt Gringrich is an alien. > that the farmers in the outlying areas were the main > ancestors for the changelings, and the main villagers were the > shapeshifter's ancestors. It has something to do with the water BRIAREOS: The non-existent water. > that the people were drinking", Jim explained, "there was also > another unexpected result, people began to live longer. Now > while it's not uncommon for people to live to around one hundred, > people began to live much, much longer." SOKAKU: [as Jim] Like, to one hundred and one! > > Cologne (looking interested in something that someone *else* was > saying, for once), accepted another cup of tea from Bob, "How old are > you Jim?, she asked. BRIAREOS: [high pitched] I'm older than eighteen, really! > > Jim blinked, "Older than I look", he replied evasively. > SOKAKU: [as radio commentator] Oh, and Cologne "The Bonecrusher" goes for the tackle but Jim "DorkWind" Williams evades! It's all happening at Stadium Australia folks! > "Well what was all that about tonight?", she asked. > ALL: The hell? FANG: Let's put that through the "Dialect Translator" SOKAKU: B1ff: WEL WUT WUZ AL THAT ABOUT 2NITE? BRIAREOS: Sweeedish Chef: Vell vhet ves ell thet ebuoot tuneeght? FANG: Well, they both made sense of the question but I think B1ff wins. > Jim looked a little pained, "Well, shifters can sense one > another, one of our agents passed through this area about six > months before I arrived", he explained, "We make it our policy to find > out as much about new shifters as we can, to decide if they are a > threat". BRIAREOS: [as Jim] Especially if they're strong in the force....whoops! Wrong movie! > > Nabiki looked up at his last comment, "And if they are a > threat?", she asked. SOKAKU: They run away. > > Jim look at her strangely, "They are eliminated", he said > flatly. BRIAREOS: Duh. > > Everyone looked shocked, "But.. you can't just kill people > for no reason", exclaimed Ranma. > FANG: Tell that to the real world Ranma. > Jim looked slightly uncomfortable, "*I* don't kill people > for no reason", he said firmly, "but the Circle has rules that we SOKAKU: [as Jim] -must flout in the tradition of Star Trek's "Prime Directive". > cannot break, any rouges must not be allowed to interfere". > BRIAREOS: Oh no! Now the X-Men are invovled! > Jim stood quickly, "I'll be back before morning, if you need > anything ask Bob", he said. > FANG: [as Jim] Alfred, I mean Bob. > Ranma stood, "Where are you going?", he asked. > BRIAREOS: [as Jim] Over the hills and far away....suckers! > Jim walked over to the window and looked out, "Not everyone > is accounted for", he said, "there is still one shifter left who > I must check on". BRIAREOS: [as Jim] There can only be ONE. Damn, keep getting my series mixed up! >He nodded at Bob, opened the window and jumped out. > Ranma raced over to the window, only to see a big black raven, > flapping it wings in the moonlight. > > ------------------------TO BE CONTINUED-------------------------- FANG: NOOOO! BRIAREOS: Halfway through. > Authors Notes: > SOKAKU: Absolutely none! Thank you, goodnight! > Part 4 will be coming out soon..... I'm looking at about 6 > parts at the moment (hopefully). I'm also presently writing a > Shifters/BGC fanfic (for those interested I won't be releasing > that until after I've finished this series - it might give away > the ending). FANG: Well, you just told us that Jim will survive the series. That's a "Phantom Menace Soundtrack" level of not giving away the ending. > > As you've probably noticed I'm trying a different story > structure - some people have commented that this format is easier to > read than block-paragraphs (Let me know if you think its an > improvement). BRIAREOS: Well, its easier to riff. > > Not much to say in these notes.... Thanks to everyone who's > commented so far, I really appreciate everyone's responses. > > > ----Brett Handy (aka: DarkWind) > > Keep those responses coming.... > > Mail at: darkwnd@sv.net.au > [They all leave the theatre.] SOKAKU: Man, that was another six hours that I'll never see. BRIAREOS: Whoah! The clock says that only an hour passed! SOKAKU: Well, it certainly FELT like six hours! Hey, where's Fang? [Sokaku turns around to see Fang rushing at him with an arm outstreached to the side.] SOKAKU: YEARGH! [Fang clotheslines Sokaku.] FANG: Quick! Pick up his legs! [Briareos grabs Sokaku's legs while Fang grabs onto Sokaku's arms, together they drag him back into the Theatre and prop him up on one of the chairs.] BRIAREOS: Man, he's heavy for Tantara model. FANG: Tie his legs up before he recovers! [Fang hands Briareos some rope and they tie Sokaku to the chair.] BRIAREOS: So what are you going to do? FANG: Well, I rigged the projection room to show a certain show earlier today. This is his punishment for all those cracks. Bwahahahhaha! BRIAREOS: Oh, so what did you choose? FANG: You'll see [Sokaku comes to as Fang throws a remote to Briareos.] SOKAKU: Oh man, I had a dream where Fang clocks me and forces me to watch some terrible show. FANG: Well, it wasn't a dream! BWHAHAHAHAA! SOKAKU: ARRRRGHH! BRIAREOS: What am I meant to do with this? FANG: Well, the remote turns it on and off. It doesn't work with the stuff Hitomi sends up though. BRIAREOS: Oh. SOKAKU: Fang, this is getting beyond a joke. FANG: It's no joke. Push the button, Briareos. [Sokaku and Briareos give Fang worried looks.] FANG: The on button. BRIAREOS: I'm worried about you. FANG: Just push it okay. ["Wedding Peach" starts playing on the screen.] BRIAREOS: Wedding Peach? That's cruel and unusual punishment! FANG: Hey! I like Wedding Peach. SOKAKU: NOOOOOO! Anything but this! FANG: Take the pain like a man. [Briareos and Fang leave the theatre.] SOKAKU: Nooooo! [pause] Oh, they've gone. Heheheh. [Sokaku pulls on his bonds and the armrest of the chair comes off.] SOKAKU: Good thing I messed around with the chairs. [He reaches under the seat rather awarkedly and pulls out a packet of popcorn.] SOKAKU: Man, I was worried that I'd have to break into Fang's room and steal his tapes. I love this show! ------------- MSTer's notes: [sobbing] Help me! HELP MEEEE! My brain is melting! Ahahaha! Soyolent Green is people! Soyolent Green is PEOPLE! Well, you may have noticed that I'm not pumping them out like I used to. Three reasons: 1) I had a bad flu bug that kept me laid low for a week ( which is why this is so late) 2) Writers block. For some reason it was a bit difficult MSTing this part 3) University. Uni starts up again on the 12th. My midyear break was only 2 weeks long ;_; Expect another part in two weeks if I'm on schedule. Keep the feedback coming in! Positive, negative or neutral, I don't mind! The Dialect Translator http://www.shortbus.net/dialect.html Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings http://lefty.simplenet.com/svam/ My homepage Coming when I get off my butt and do it! -------- MSTings so far: -------- (I'm gonna count them indivudally now. More impressive, eh? ^_-) #1 Trial By Fire part one - Gundam. #2 Trial By Fire part two - Gundam. #3 Trial By Fire part three - Gundam. #4 Neo Armageddon Evangelist. - Neon Genesis Evangelion. #5 Shifters parts one and two- Ranma 1/2. #6 Shifters part two - Ranma 1/2 #7 Shifters part four - Ranma 1/2 / A Surfing tale - Misc. #8 Shifters part five -Ranma 1/2 #9 Shifters part six - Ranma 1/2 #10-? Neon Genesis Evangelion II: Jackal's Saga. Upcoming. ---- Stinger: Akane looked at him curiously, "Why the difference between changelings and shapeshifters?, I mean if they were all exposed to this meteor?", she asked.