MSTed by: Mark Foster - foster@powerup.com.au Original author: Brett Handy. Appleseed is the creation of Masamune Shirow and is owned and copyrighted by Masamune Shirow, Seishinsha and Dark Horse. Ranma 1/2 copyright Ruminko Takashi/ Shogakukan Inc. MST3K is copyright Best Brains Inc. Shifters is the work of Brett Handy and is copyrighted by him. ---------------------- (Sattelite of Hitomi) [Fang is knocking on Sokaku's door] FANG: Sokaku? You there? [There is no response so Fang opens the door and creeps inside] FANG: [sniffing] I know that smell... [Fang walks over to Sokaku's wardrobe and opens it. At the bottom, under a pile of dirty clothes is a box marked 'Do Not Touch' which Fang pulls out. Inside the box is a bar of grey material] FANG: I knew it! He's been playing with explosives. I'll confront him with this later. Oohh...this pisses me off, I knew he was up to no good. [Fang gently shoves the box back in and rearranges the clothes lying on top of it before sneaking back out. Just as he closes the door behind him Sokaku and Briareos climb down from the upper level] BRIAREOS: I still say I beat you! SOKAKU: Hey look, just because you didn't know the Turbo button was there doesn't mean I have to declare you the winner! BRIAREOS: I still was ahead of you right into that final straight. Not bad for a first timer. SOKAKU: I'm still the Master of Daytona USA! Bwahahahaha! [The viewcreen springs to life] (Hitomi's Lab) HITOMI: No time to talk, I've got guests coming over. YOSHI: We're just gonna send you the fic. More of Shifters. HITOMI: Get in the theatre. Now. (SoH) BRIAREOS: But I was so looking forward to piercing you with my rapier wit. SOKAKU: It needs sharpening anyway. BRIAREOS: Har-de-har. [The Fanfic sign starts flashing.] ALL: We've got the fanfic signnnn! [All three rush into the theatre. They sit down in order: Sokaku, Briareos and Fang.] > A Ranma1/2 Fan-Fic > Shifters > Part 5 > > By > > Brett Handy > > With thanks to Hubert Santos > > Tokyo lay glowing like some kind of precious gem in the > moonlight, BRIAREOS: [squeezes eyes shut] No, I can't visualise it. > the early hours of the morning providing a period of > rest for most of its inhabitants. Unfortunately for one of the SOKAKU: -masses of Pocky addicted students there were no shops open! ALL: POOCCKKKKYYY! > inhabitants of the city, this night was not turning out exactly as he > had expected. SOKAKU: So he was going to have a few words with the madam. BRIAREOS: [as Rimmer] She nearly pulled the damned thing off. SOKAKU: [smarmy] There was a slight circuitry problem... BRIAREOS: [as Rimmer] She wouldn't stop. It was like being trapped in a milking machine. I'll be out of commission for twelve months! >Jim felt the growing pressure on his throat, he > scissored his legs upwards at his assailant, striking it in the side. FANG: It being Hulk Hogan in this case. > > "You'll have to do better than that", said Madaline > scornfully, as she continued to squeeze. BRIAREOS: Ohh...kinky... > > Jim realised that if he didn't do something soon, he wouldn't > have the strength to escape. Concentrating, he willed himself to take SOKAKU: -the power of the aura of SMOOOOOTH! > on another form. Jim's eyes suddenly widened as he realised that his > form was NOT changing, "What the hell is going on here", he thought. FANG: [as Jim] Oh, THERE'S the problem! I forgot to set myself in 'snake mode'! > > Madaline observed the look of concentration that crossed her > target's face. "That's not going to work this time", she said > sweetly, "I arranged it so that DarkWind wouldn't be disturbing us". BRIAREOS: [as Madaline] No summoning my husband! > > Jim began to see stars, "I'm loosing concisions", he thought to FANG: He's also losing his ability to spell! > himself. > > Suddenly the door to Jim's room burst open, one of the > security guards charged into the room, raising his uzi at the BRIAREOS: Whoa! He sure puts Washington and his Saturday Night special to shame! SOKAKU: [as Shawn Michaels] Good God! You could poke an eye out with that thing! FANG: BRIAREOS! SOKAKU! > strange sliver-clad figure in the room. Madaline jumped back BRIAREOS: [as Cat] Jump back here, whhaooo! > quickly to avoid the quick burst that the guard fired. Flipping in > mid-air, Madaline came down within arms reach of the stunned guard. SOKAKU: [as Guard] Duhh...jiggly bits... FANG: Do you want to me kill you? > The uzi was coming to bear on Madaline again, as she quickly punched > out at the guard's head. Jim heard a sickening snap as the poor man's FANG: -collection of Zaku Master Grades was crushed underfoot. > neck was broken. > > Alarms were going off all over the building, Jim heard SOKAKU: -the sound of a hundred donuts being dropped. > footsteps in the hall, as Madaline turned to face him again. "I'd > hoped to make this as painless as possible", BRIAREOS: The fic? You failed. > she said, "But it looks > like I've got no choice". > FANG: [as Madaline] I'm going to start playing the accordion now! > Jim began backing away, as Madaline advanced towards him. > "What the hell is wrong with me?", he thought desperately, "I've > never lost my powers like this". BRIAREOS: Poor snooky is a normal human. Get over it. > > Raising her fist Madaline threw a punch at Jim, it probably SOKAKU: -would've been easy to dodge if Jim's ego field collapse wasn't so massive. > would have killed him if it had hit. At the last second, a black > shape impacted into her back, BRIAREOS: Sting? SOKAKU: Undertaker? FANG: Xena? > knocking her to the ground. Madaline's > fist impacted into the concrete wall, smashing a large hole. Jim > dodged out of her way, running towards the door. BRIAREOS: [British] Run awaayyy! > > Madaline noticed her prey escaping, and quickly turned to > follow. ALL: *groan* FANG: Watch as Madaline ignores one of the most basic rules in combat. >Suddenly she felt a tearing pain in her left leg, followed by SOKAKU: -the sound of her pantyhose ripping. > a crunching feeling in her right leg. Looking down she saw a huge > black panther, one of it's claws embedded in her left leg, its jaws > wrapped around her right. Madaline rolled as she fell, BRIAREOS: She rolled with a 100kg panther on her leg? Wow! I'd love to see the size of the muscles on her legs! >knocking the > panther off her leg, she warily began to circle towards the Jim, > keeping an eye on the panther, her legs only just holding up her > weight. SOKAKU: Someone needs to visit Jenny Craig again. > > Jim stopped at the door, looking back seeing Bob facing off > against the Conclave Assassin. "Bob's never fought one of them > without my help", ALL: [singing] Can you feel the FORESHADOWING tonighhtt? > he thought. Noticing the fallen guard he edged > towards the uzi lying on the floor. > > "That was close", thought Bob, "Glad, I'm a light sleeper". Bob > was watching the sliver figure carefully, waiting for a chance to sink SOKAKU: -her battleship. FANG: You sank my battleship! > his teeth in once again. The figure was circling, attempting to get > between him and Jim. "NO, you don't", he thought, launching himself > at its chest. Madaline had been waiting for the panther to make a > move. She bought up her arms as the panther leaped at her. BRIAREOS: Eww! I just shut down my olfactory senses! SOKAKU: Madaline, one word: Deodorant. > > The two combatants were locked together, Madaline attempting to > crush the panther SOKAKU: One word: blades. FANG: Sheesh, I'd be embarrassed to watch a regular SWAT team take out these poozers. > and the panther racking it's claws and teeth over > her armour. The panther bought it's teeth down on Madaline's throat, BRIAREOS: Completely forgetting that the carotid artery was now located somewhere in her left foot. > biting deeply. Madaline let out a scream of pain, suddenly jerking > her arms together. > > Jim had just picked up the uzi from the dead guard, as her SOKAKU: As he had suddenly turned into a female! > heard a horrible crunching sound from the other side of the room. He > turned to see the panther, falling limply from the silver warrior's BRIAREOS: -halitosis. > grasp. "NO", he screamed. Jim flicked the selector switch to full > auto, and aimed at the silver figure. > > As Madaline dropped the panther, she heard the sound of a gun > being cocked. She threw herself to the side, as a stream of 9mm > rounds streaked towards her. "Damn, I'll take him later", she > thought. Dodging behind a couch, she rolled and ran for the window. > FANG: I sure hope that was a metal couch. > The uzi clicked empty as the silver figure ran towards the > windows. Jim had just slapped a fresh clip into the chamber when the BRIAREOS: You know, that is a pretty realistic depiction of an Uzi. > figure smashed through the window. Jim ran over to the window, > looking for his attacker. Seeing a falcon flying away he screamed in > frustration, emptying the clip at the bird. Unfortunately the bird ALL: The biiiirrrddd! FANG: Oboe? I thought this wasn't a Hamelin fic? > was out of range. Dropping the empty gun Jim hurried over to his > fallen friend's side. Bob had regained human form, the pain of his SOKAKU: -elephantism. > injuries forcing him to return to his natural form. > FANG: Sheesh, these are the suckiest shapeshifters ever. > Jim knelt down beside him as a squad of security guards, > followed by Ranma burst into the room. "Get a doctor!", Jim SOKAKU: [as Bones] I'm dead, Jim. > shouted to one of the guards, who quickly grabbed for his radio. Jim > looked at Bob's wounds and shuddered, his friend was in a *very* bad > way, many broken bones and probably internal bleeding. "Jim..", he > whispered, "Sorry I couldn't get here sooner...". Bob broke off and > close his eyes. > ALL: Awww... SOKAKU: Bob was the only remotely likeable character too! > ***** > > Everyone was awake, the alarms still echoed within the > building. ALL: WHANK! WHANK! WHANK! >Nabiki rubbing her eyes as she walked into the dining > room which had become their meeting place. SOKAKU: [as Nabiki] How White Man. >"What's going on?, one of > those security guys told me to come here", she grumbled, as she sat > down. BRIAREOS: And then they brought in Goldberg! > > "I don't know, I got the same message", Akane replied. FANG: [as Akane] It said "4k4n3, iF y0u W4nT t0 s33 YoUr t33dy b34r 464iN c0m3 t0 tH3 DiNiN6 r00m" > > Shampoo, Moose and Cologne walked into the room and took their > accustomed places. "Why they get Shampoo up in middle of night?", BRIAREOS: [as Shampoo] Why Shampoo not kill guards? > Shampoo complained. Akane and Nabiki shrugged and sat waiting for > everyone else to arrive. Soon the room was full, except for Ranma, > Jim and Miss Tanaka. SOKAKU: Oh no! It's a distraction meeting while the Stonemasons plot their downfall! > > "Something must be wrong", said Moose, "I've never heard those > alarms before". BRIAREOS: [as Moose] Mostly because I lived in the Canadian wilds before... FANG: [as Mousse] Aren't all alarms, like, identical? > > Cologne nodded, "Yes something is *very* wrong". FANG: Der moment. ALL: DEERRR! > > The door opened and a very depressed looking Ranma walked in BRIAREOS: He's just been told that Hogan is wrestling again. > slowly. "Where have you been?", Akane asked sharply. Ranma just > grunted and threw himself down in a chair. "What's the problem?", SOKAKU: -Willis? > asked Akane, noticing his lack of response. Again the door opened, FANG: This time they brought in D.O.A! BRIAREOS: You actually watched that crap? FANG: Hey, I was bored. > Jim walked in followed by his father. Akane looked at his face, > noticing the barely restrained fury in his expression. FANG: [as Jim] I'm sorreee for kidnapping you. SOKAKU: [as Mr Williams] And? FANG: [as Jim] And I won't do it again. Can I go now? > > "What's wrong", asked Nabiki. FANG: Question mark shortage: news at eleven! > > "Bob is dead", Jim said flatly. SOKAKU: [as Jim] That skiver! I'm not letting him talk to Wally again! BRIAREOS: [as Jim] Bob is dancing with the fishes right now. That's what happens when you become more popular than the avatar! > > Everyone looked at each other in shock, Ranma hung his head > sadly. "What happened?", asked Soun, tears in his eyes. SOKAKU: [as Soun] -to my collection of skin mags that I loaned to Bob? FANG: [as Soun] *sob* These onions... BRIAREOS: Sheesh. Why are they all sad about Bob? They only knew him a short while! FANG: They're kids. You're an ESWAT operative. Spot the diff! > > "Miss Takana wasn't exactly untrained in shifting", Jim BRIAREOS: Most of aren't. FANG: You missed the f again. SOKAKU: Oh wait, it's actually the twisted clone of Ms. Tanaka! > replied savagely, "She was a Conclave assassin, sent to kill me". FANG: As if that wasn't obvious from the word go! SOKAKU: My god, do you realise that the Conclave did something effective? FANG: They still failed though... > > Akane shuddered, she had sat through many of Tanaka's classes, > she seemed like a normal teacher. They had sat together and had SOKAKU: -confessed their undying love and starred in a porn flick together! > dinner several times during he week since Jim had bought them here. > Akane was almost ready to consider her a friend, BRIAREOS: [demonic] The Mistress Akane demands your blood in exchange for her friendship! > until now. Jim > continued to explain about attack, how Bob had saved him and how > Tanaka (or rather Madaline, as Jim now recognised), had escaped. FANG: Jim recognised her after he put his glasses ON! > > "What stopped you shifting?", asked Cologne. BRIAREOS: A Plot Device. > > Jim threw a pendant on the table, it smashed open to reveal > some electronic components, "It's called a dampener, it inhibits SOKAKU: [as Jim] -my stay-dry towel! > shapeshifting, she slipped it around my neck while we were > struggling", he explained angrily. FANG: [monotone] I explain happily "I like jelly". BRIAREOS: Red Kyptonite! FANG: I thought it was purple. SOKAKU: You losers, it's pink! YOSHI: [over speaker] I think it's mauve! HITOMI: [over speaker] It's green, you idiots! > > Akane listened with only one ear, hearing the anger and hatred in > Jim's voice. BRIAREOS: The other was listening to 'Crush 'em' on Nitro...again! > > "... That's why we're leaving now", Jim finished. SOKAKU: And so they left the fanfic. The End! > > > Akane looked up, having missed the end of his explanation. ALL: Thankfully! > "What do you mean, 'leaving now'", she asked. SOKAKU: [as Akane] Duhhh, I like jello. > > Jim glanced in her direction, "If we don't go now, the > Conclave will be expecting us", he said. BRIAREOS: That is most rooted logic I have ever seen since Dan said "I'm not employed by them, I just work there!" > > Jim's father placed a hand on his son's shoulder, "Don't you > think your rushing into this?", he asked. ALL: YES! > > Jim knocked the hand away, "No, we've got the plan ready, > leaving a few hours earlier won't changed anything", he replied > heatedly. > > "Son, thing about it, SOKAKU: [as Jim] Thing about it? Where's Lurch? > Bob was an integral part of the plan, > leaving now without him would put you all in danger", Mr Williams said > carefully. FANG: Well, at least he wasn't saying it recklessly. > > Jim clenched his fists in frustration, "We've got to go now, > otherwise they'll change where they're holding Kathy and Ryouga", he > replied, "I'll go by myself if I have to". BRIAREOS: OOOHH! Spot the revenge motivated avatar folks! FANG: Because...that's where they're holding... JOOOLLIAAAAA! > > Ranma looked around the table, Kasumi and her father were both > weeping silently and Nabiki looked like she wanted to join them. FANG: I've never seen the word 'weeping' being used as a sexual euphism before! >Akane > looked angry. Cologne's expression was one of concern, but little > else. Moose and Shampoo were still sitting in shock, SOKAKU: The damn electric chairs! > watching Jim > carefully. Suddenly he stood, "You won't have to go alone Jim", he > said. FANG: [as Ranma] You can go with Mr. Socko! > > Jim looked at him greatfully, "Thank you my friend", he said > simply. SOKAKU: Because...Jim was simple! FANG: We did that. > > Akane stood too, followed a moment later by Moose, Shampoo, > Ukyou and Genma. "Well, lets get going before I change my mind", said > Genma roughly. BRIAREOS: This is Genma...the world's worst coward. Why hasn't he fled already? SOKAKU: Because this is a Shifters fanfic with Ranma 1/2 character guest starring not the other way around! > > ***** SOKAKU: Look, Pedro! The Earth! > > Ryouga woke up suddenly as his captors FANG: -gave him a personal welcome with their sticks with nails in them. > slipped the food > through the small panel in the door. "Bread and water again", he > thought glumly. He glanced over at his companion ,Thomas FANG: -Leary. > , who was > ignoring the food. Ryouga stood and retrieved the food, eating the > bread hungrily. BRIAREOS: [as Ryouga] Mmm.... incapacitating. > > "Be careful", his companion said, "They sometimes drug the > food". SOKAKU: What? You mean they weren't in a slimy hellhole that doesn't comply to federal regulations? You are joking! > > Ryouga stopped mid-swallow and looked carefully at the piece he > still had in his hand. "Don't worry, BRIAREOS: [as Thomas] -for some reason, they use Viagra! > If they wanted us dead they'd > have put a bullet in us by now", added Thomas. SOKAKU: Or fed you some of Fang's cooking! FANG: Har-de-har! > > Ryouga swallowed his mouthful slowly, seeing if he could > discern a taste change. BRIAREOS: [as Ryouga] Noo... it tastes the same! FANG: [as Thomas] That's because the whole thing woulda been drugged, you idiot! >"Is this all they give you?", he asked. SOKAKU: [as Thomas] That and leftovers on Sunday. > > Thomas shook his head, "No, usually they feed me better than > this, but I guess they're too busy to fix me something nice", he said. BRIAREOS: [as Thomas] Usually they'll spit on the bread! > Thomas stood up and walked over to the door, pushing the food-flap > open. "I wish I could still use my cat form", he said thoughtfully. SOKAKU: [thoughtfully] I wish I could still fart the national anthem! > > Ryouga almost choked on his food, "what do you mean 'cat > form'?, he asked. BRIAREOS: [as Thomas] DERRR! I turn into a cat! > > Thomas turned and leaned against the door, "I explained about me > being a shapeshifter.. well one of my favourite forms was a black > alley cat, I'd guess that I could squeeze through the flap if I could > get that small", he explained. BRIAREOS: [as Thomas] Of course, I could also turn into a friggin' flea! > > Ryouga nodded, "Yeah, P-Chan could get out that hole, no > trouble", he said. FANG: [as Ryouga] P-Chan is good, P-Chan is our pal. SOKAKU: [motherly] Oh, Ryouga. You've been skipping your electroshock therapy again, haven't you? > > "P-Chan?", Thomas asked. FANG: [as Ryouga] P-Chan is dead. > > "My cursed form", replied Ryouga, "It's that of a piglet". > > "What do you mean 'cursed'?", Thomas asked. SOKAKU: [as Thomas] Duhhh, I like Jello. > > Ryouga shrugged and explained about the cursed springs and his > misadventures there. FANG: The Misadventures of Ryouga Longstocking! > > "Well that's like no 'tale' I've ever heard", Thomas said. > SOKAKU: [as Thomas] Man, what were you smoking? > "It's true", insisted Ryouga, "When I get wet, I turn into a > pig". BRIAREOS: DER! FANG: I think the fic is getting to him, Sokaku. SOKAKU: Yeah, I noticed. > > Thomas thought for a moment, "Well why not use that water and > turn into a pig?", he asked. BRIAREOS: DEEERR!! > > Ryouga shook his head, "You told me that the dampener thing > they have on to stop you changing, cancels all shapeshifting", he > said. BRIAREOS: Mystery Recap Theatre 3000! > > Thomas nodded, "Yeah, it's supposed to cancel out all > *internal* abilities.... but if your curse comes from magic....". BRIAREOS: THEN WHY WAS HIS BLASTING POINT TECHNIQUE BLOCKED?!?!?! IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR PITHY SHAPESHIFTING ABILITIES!! [Briareos clutches the armrest and starts shaking] BRIAREOS: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! [Briareos runs out of the theatre] > > ***** > > Kathy awoke to the smell of cooking bacon, SOKAKU: So much for P-Chan's escape attempt. > she heard form the > next room the sounds of someone preparing breakfast. She snuggled SOKAKU: -the guy that she brought home last night. FANG: It was Kevin Nash. [Sokaku imitates the sound of a bed squeaking] > back under the blankets, wondering at the dream she had been having, FANG: That made as much sense as any Randy Savage mic-work! > it was slipping away. "Kathy, breakfast is ready", came a familiar > voice from the kitchen. Getting out of bed was always a trial in the > morning, Kathy quickly grabbed up a warm dressing gown, SOKAKU: The see-through one. > shivering at > the cold. She walked into the little kitchen in her suite of rooms, > sitting that the table. FANG: She has a kitchen in one of her rooms? Geez, the Spelling kids have nothing on her! > > "Here you go sis", said her brother Casey, sliding a plate of > food in front of her. SOKAKU: Oh no! It's suddenly a fusion of Evangelion episode 25 and 26! FANG: I'm worried. Bri hasn't come back yet. SOKAKU: If he hasn't come back after the next few paragraphs then we'll go look. > > "Thanks Casey", she said, wondering at the strange feeling she > had look at her brother, it was almost like she was talking to a > stranger. SOKAKU: Considering most siblings I would say that is the case! > > "Oh, dad suggested that I should make you breakfast, seeing as > you've been away for such a long time", he said to her unasked > question. SOKAKU: [as Kathy] No, you should've answered my other unasked question. FANG: [as Casey] Kathy, we don't live in Tasmania. > > Sitting opposite her began to eat his own breakfast, "So how was > Japan?", he asked. FANG: Who is 'Sitting opposite her' and when did he come into the story? > > Kathy shrugged, "It was OK, the Circle tried to get me again, but SOKAKU: [as Kathy] -I signed an exclusive deal with the WWF. > I got away", she replied, feeling that something was wrong with her FANG: We know that! > explanation. She remembered being attacked, but couldn't remember how > she got away. SOKAKU: [as Kathy] I just ran and ran and raaann! > > "Good for you, I'd hate to loose my sister", said Casey > smiling. FANG: [as Casey] Lose her on the other hand... > > Kathy talked to Casey for a while, finishing her breakfast SOKAKU: [as Kathy] Yadda yadda yadda. FANG: [as Casey] Bork bork bork. > quickly. "Oh, by the way, Dad wanted you to drop by his office > this morning, something about your next job", SOKAKU: [as Casey] He said something about being his intern and to bring the presidential kneepads. > he said as she got up to > leave. > > Kathy nodded and went to get changed into some warmer clothes. > Suddenly she shook her head, "God what am I doing?", FANG: You're starring in a bad fanfic, next! > she thought. > Shrugging off her dressing gown she concentrated, her night dress > shimmered and reformed into some more suitable winter clothes. "Geeze, SOKAKU: [as Kathy] Plaid with purple, what was I thinking? > have I forgotten all my training?", she said angrily. Casey laughed > from behind her, "You've always been forgetful sis", he said. FANG: [as Casey] Look, your wearing your undies OUTSIDE! > > Casey watched Kathy walk out of the room, "The conditioning > really works", he thought. Casey smiled savagely, his 'sister' > would prove to be very useful. SOKAKU: [as Casey] Henceforth, she will clean up my room! FANG: We'd better find Bri. [Sokaku and Fang leave the theatre] SOKAKU: Ugh! Hitomi's playing 'Thank Abba for the Music' [The main room is dark except for the ring of candles in the centre surrounding a pentagram. Briareos is dressed in a black cloak and is kneeling in front of what looks like a human figure draped in a white sheet. As Briareos chants he raises a knife above his head] BRIAREOS: [chanting] Kumbalaya my lord! By the holy power of Manos. I mean, Relacc... [Briareos stabs the knife into the human figure under the white sheet] FANG: BRIAREOS! What the hell are you doing? BRIAREOS: [turning around] Oh hi guys. I needed to let off some steam so I did this dark ceremony hoping to erase the fic from the timesteam! SOKAKU: Sheesh. How did you get the human sacrifice? BRIAREOS: Human? I got it from your bedroom. [Briareos pulls the sheet off to reveal a deflated blow up doll] SOKAKU: [clutching his head] Inflatable Ingrid! NOOOOO! FANG: You are SICK! [Briareos stands up and throw off his cloak] BRIAREOS: Well, a dark mass and a crap Pop song in the background. It can't get any worse. Let's go back. [All three rush into the theatre. They sit down in the same order as before] > > ***** > > Baratis looked at the trusting girl sitting in front of him, two > days ago she had been ready to kill him, now she was his loving > 'daughter'. "Isn't modern science wonderful", he thought to himself. BRIAREOS: [as Baratis] I mean, wow! The amount of silicon they can put in a breast! > > "What did you want to see me about father?", Kathy asked. > > Baratis stood and walked over to the window, "Those people SOKAKU: [strained] Thooooosee peeeeooooppplllee! > that attacked you in Japan are coming here", he said, "We've got to be > ready for them when they arrive". > > Kathy nodded, "I'll be ready father", she said. SOKAKU: [as Kathy] Ifyouknowwhatimean! > > Baratis turned back to her, "Good, I want you to go and > practice with your brother, you have to be ready" he said. > BRIAREOS: But I thought we weren't in Tasmania! > Kathy looked at him curiously, "Why are you so worried?", she > asked, "We've always taken care of those Circle shifters before". > FANG: [as Baratis] Yes but we don't have any more 'Shifter B Gone'. > Baratis smiled, "Well I have it on good intelligence that > DarkWind himself will be leading this attack", he said. FANG: [as Kathy] Dorkwind? Why bother training then? > > Kathy shuddered, DarkWind had been the one who had killed her > mother, he had almost killed her in that same attack. "Don't worry > father, I'll avenge mother's death", she said. SOKAKU: Geez, this whole fanfic is one giant cliche. > > Baratis smiled, "Very good, go now and practice with your > brother", he said. SOKAKU: Kathy alone...in the dojo...together. > > As Kathy walked from the room, Baratis sat back in his chair. > Madaline had failed to eliminate DarkWind, now there was no doubt that > he and his friends would be on their way. "It's time to call some of > my friends at the Tokyo airport", he thought to himself. BRIAREOS: Are the bad guys the only ones with a smidgen of tactical training? > > ***** > > Ranma was shifting uncomfortably in his seat, as the corporate FANG: -ministry fizzled out. > jet took off. He was dressed as normal, wearing his SOKAKU: -sailor fuku. > red shirt, arm > guards and black pants, but Jim had insisted that he wear a kevlar > underjacket. BRIAREOS: Then he's not dressed as normal is he? FANG: Not unless he lives in downtown New York. >The unaccustomed tightness was both comforting and > distressing at the same time. BRIAREOS: It was both pink and yellow at the same time. FANG: It was both heavy and light at the same time. SOKAKU: It was both on fire and wet at the same time. BRIAREOS: I bet that jacket would be hell on his female form's 36DD boobs! >Jim had assured him that the jacket > would absorb a lot of damage and it was light enough not to interfere > with Ranma's fighting style. Ranma sighed and looked out the window, > as the pre-dawn light began on the horizon. FANG: Began? How the hell do you begin pre-dawn light?! It makes no sense! > > He was seated to the rear of the passenger compartment, SOKAKU: The ultra-economy section. He was stored with the colicky babies. > looking around he noticed that Akane, Ukyou and his father were BRIAREOS: -doing *interesting* things with a frozen cucumber. FANG: Don't make me hurt you! > having similar troubles with her own vests. Moose and Shampoo had not SOKAKU: -had their intelligence returned, because if they did - they would've been OUTTA there! > been given vests, as Jim intended them to use their 'cursed' forms for SOKAKU: I think I'd disgust myself if I said anything about the B thing. > scouting. Ranma glance at the far end of the cabin, where Jim sat > discussing various details with the extra additions to their team. FANG: [as Jim] You go there and run up there while he goes down there and throws the ball to him. Wait a minute, I just confused myself! > > Ranma had disliked the new additions as soon as he saw them, BRIAREOS: The ICP? > it > wasn't just the looks that the two men gave Shampoo, Ukyou and Akane, SOKAKU: [as Ranma] They ignored me! > it was just a strange feeling he had. He had tried to strike up a > conversation with them, but neither seemed willing to discuss more > than the weather. FANG: [hick voice] Them rains are a-coming. >Jim introduced them as 'hired- help', explaining > that the two men knew the area that they were headed into. Ranma sat > back in his seat, glowering at the two newcomers. BRIAREOS: [as Ranma] Huh, more unbeatable shape-shifters. > > Genma was fingering his new vest, wondering again why he had SOKAKU: -signed to appear in this fic. > volunteered to come on this trip. Here he was, a master of the FANG: [as Genma] I am..... THE MASTER! BRIAREOS: Eric Roberts? FANG: You suck! > Anything Goes Style of martial arts, travelling to rescue a girl he > didn't really know and a young man who kept trying to kill his son. BRIAREOS: [as Genma] Hey kids! Think about what we're doing? FANG: [as Ranma] What am I THINKING? Jim, you can star in your sissei, erm, sissy fanfic yourself! You already are! > Genma sighed, "At least Jim knows how to feed a man", he thought, SOKAKU: Ifyouknowhatimean! > sighing again as he remember the breakfast that they had eaten before > leaving, "I wonder if there's going to be a meal on this flight", he > mused. FANG: That's the Genma we all know and, uh..., are mildly annoyed at. > > > The plane's destination was Seattle, from there it was a quick > hop over to the Rocky mountains. The location where Kathy and Ryouga SOKAKU: -had fled to in a futile attempt to escape the fic. > were, was near the border of southern Canada. Jim had organised > passports and other documents in advance. "Well, we're on our way", BRIAREOS: Up up and awayyyy! > Jim thought to himself. The plane was flying level, it was a long > flight to the US, so Jim closed his eyes and tried to rest. "Bob, SOKAKU: [as Jim]...ooh Bob, do that thing with your feet! > I'll miss you my friend", he thought sadly. > > ***** > > "Great, I love this job", said a very disgruntled janitor. He > was looking at Tokyo airport's pilot waiting room. BRIAREOS: As opposed to a lounge or something? FANG: You know pilots, they just stand motionless waiting for their flights. >It looked like a > hurricane had hit the place, furniture all over the place, smashed SOKAKU: -college boys lying on the floor. > mirrors. "I'm gonna complain to my supervisor, those damn pilots must > have had a party in here", BRIAREOS: Hello? These are pilots not frat boys! It's obvious there has been a fight! > he thought to himself. Righting tables and FANG: -wronging- > chairs as he went, the Janitor was just getting out his mop when he > noticed a strange smell. SOKAKU: [as Janitor] Cream cheese? The hell! >Tracing it to one of the lockers, he used > his pass-key to open the strange-smelling locker. SOKAKU: [as Janitor] Who's been growing weed in their locker? > > Two stewardesses were passing the waiting room when they heard a > scream and the Janitor ran from the room, BRIAREOS: -pantless. > "Murder, help security, > there's been a murder!!", he was screaming. If the stewardesses had BRIAREOS: -any sense they would have beaten him to death. > look in the room, they would have seen captain Hiruka wedged in his > own locker, his neck lolling to one side..... FANG: Just one guy? A shifter had to smash up a room while fighting ONE guy? These guys OFFICALY suck! > > ***** > > His ID-badge read Hiruka, SOKAKU: -his underdaks read 'Ralph'. > sitting at the controls of Epsilon > Industries flight 55, he adjusted the flight path, a few degree's > north of their intended destination. BRIAREOS: [as shifter] Screw Seattle! I wanna see Toronto! FANG: I bet you do. BRIAREOS: Shut up. >"Epsilon Industries, Flight 55, > come in, this is Tokyo control, return to Tokyo at once", BRIAREOS: [as Tokyo control] Duhhh, you murderer! You come back or we'll call you bad names! > the radio > announced sharply. Grinning the man who looked like Captain Hiruka > switched the radio off sharply, then rammed his fist into the speaker. SOKAKU: That's when the SSDF was alerted and they shot down the plane. The End. > > ***** > > Jim came awake in a fright, BRIAREOS: [as Jim] Ahhhh, Raye! Put the cucumbers down! > Ranma was tapping his shoulder. "Jim, > how long was it supposed to take us to get to Seattle?", Ranma asked. > FANG: [as Ranma] Are we there yettttt? How about now? > Jim shook his head, "What's wrong", he asked. FANG: He did? Where's the question mark then? Sheesh! > > "Well, I think we should have landed about an hour ago", SOKAKU: It took him an HOUR to get suspicious? > Ranma > explained, "I asked the pilot and he said we were supposed to circle, > waiting for landing permission". BRIAREOS: [as Ranma] I asked him how we expected to receive instructions with a speaker with a fist-shaped hole and he gave me a dirty look and pulled a gun! > > Jim nodded, "So what's the problem?", said again. FANG: Who said that again? Who said it the first time? > > Akane spoke up from her seat, "Shouldn't we be able to see the > city then?", she asked. BRIAREOS: [as Akane] We can only see them durn clouds! > > Jim lurched over to the window, they were flying low over a > strange mountain range, "That does *not* look like Seattle to me", ALL: Noooo! You ARE joking! SOKAKU: [as Jim] No kidding! Where's Fraiser? > said one of the mercenaries. FANG: The smart one with two brain cells. > > Rounding quickly, BRIAREOS: Wow, he really can stack on the kilos! > Jim raced forward to the cockpit, just as > the door slammed open, revealing the pilot. SOKAKU: Jim suspected something was wrong as the pilot was wearing his underwear on his head. > > "What the hell is going on?", Jim demanded. > > The pilot smiled, "*Your* crashing", FANG: [as Jim] My what? > he replied, shimmering > and reforming into the familiar form of Madaline. She quickly > pulled the emergency release lever on the door, everyone > instinctively grabbed onto their chairs as the sudden vacuum of > air, rushed from the plane. BRIAREOS: What the... SOKAKU: I think the air got sucked out of the plane. FANG: Well that or some guy named sudden vacuum rushed from the plane taking advantage of the distraction of rouge comma. >Madaline jumped out with the door, > reforming again into her falcon form. BRIAREOS: Just as well she didn't reform into her drop bear form. > > Jim grabbed the corner of the door, just before he too was > pulled from the plane. The outrushing of air quickly stopped, and Jim > saw to his horror how low they really were. They were passing between > some mountain peaks, rushing towards a large mountain jutting up right > in front of them. Jim looked around to make sure everyone was still FANG: -screaming in terror. > there, BRIAREOS: Well, I'm not sure how they could've escaped unless they had teleportation powers? SOKAKU: [as Jim] Zere vill be no escapink zis fic! > and then headed to the cockpit. Look at the smashed controls > and instruments, he gave up on trying to land the plane himself (even > if he had the slightest clue how to do it). "Make a note, get some > flying lessons", he thought to himself, as he raced back into the > passenger compartment. > > "Got any parachutes?", Ranma asked sarcastically. BRIAREOS: Got milk? > > Jim shook his head, "This is no time for jokes, we're going to > hit a mountain in about a minute, forty seconds", he replied. SOKAKU: [as Jim] -twenty seconds, no seconds! *BOOOOM* > > Jim unclipped up a soda water container that had not been > sucked out through the open door from its position behind the small > bar. FANG: [as Jim] I'll have my martini shaken not stirred. > > "What are you going to do with that?", Genma asked quickly. SOKAKU: [as Jim] I was thinking a movie, maybe dinner... > > "This!", Jim replied, spraying down Ranma, Moose and Shampoo. BRIAREOS: Mousse and Shampoo I can understand but Ranma? SOKAKU: It was wet T-shirt day. BRIAREOS: Oh. > > "What the hell did you do that for?", Ranma-Chan screamed, > "Now I've gotta die as a girl". FANG: So stop whining! BRIAREOS: Ranma isn't really this stupid... really! > > Jim glanced over to the mercenaries, "Out you go guys, see you on > the ground", he said. The two nodded once and pushed their packs out > the plane, they then shimmered and reformed into a pair of eagles, SOKAKU: At least it wasn't a squirrel and moose. > that followed their packs down to the valley below. Jim pulled his > own pack out of one of the over head compartments, grabbing up a piece BRIAREOS: -of ass. > of rope he latched onto shampoo-cat and tied a brace around her, the > other end of the rope he tied to Moose-duck's legs. He picked up the > duck, "I hope you've been practising your flying", FANG: [as Jim] Cause I'm gonna push you out with this giant pack tied to your legs! >he said, "cause > Shampoo's life depends on you getting her down safely". > > Akane shook her head, "There's no way a duck could support a cat > in flight", she said hysterically. SOKAKU: [as Akane] So hurry up and jump! > > "You got a better idea?", Jim asked. BRIAREOS: [as Akane] Yeah, you could turn into a giant parachute! > > Akane shook her head, and watched as Jim pushed Moose and > Shampoo from the plane. "Don't worry, there's lots of soft snow > down there", he said to her. FANG: [as Jim] Except for the rocks. > > Ukyou clutched at Ranma-Chan's arm, "That's fine for them, but > what about us", she said. SOKAKU: [as Jim] We're gonna have a foursome! Just let me push Genma out first... > > Jim pulled out another piece of rope, BRIAREOS: [as Ukyou] Hang ourselves? We wanted to do that from the start of the fic! > "Tie yourselves together > with this", he said. Ranma, Akane, Ukyou and Genma looped the rope SOKAKU: Wow, Jim sure is kinky! FANG: SOKAKU! > around them as Jim stood at the open door, watching the mountain > getting closer. BRIAREOS: [as Jim] Duhh...big mountain. > > When they finished their cursory knots FANG: -YAHAHAHAHAH > Jim threw Ranma a small > case, "Take care of that, its vital", he said abruptly. > SOKAKU: [as Ranma] Your Hooters? > "What are we going to do?", asked Akane, also clutching on to > Ranma's arm. BRIAREOS: So Ukyou managed to clutch onto Ranma while tying herself up? Wow! Ranma, you marry her and you won't regret it! > > Jim shimmered, reforming into SOKAKU: -Bobo the clown. BRIAREOS: -a crow and then he flew outta there. FANG: -Bob Villa. > DarkWind, "Well, there's no way I BRIAREOS: [as Darkwind] -can help you. Goodbye! > can support all of you in flight", he said, But if we wait until the > last moment, I might be able to cushion you impact quite a bit". SOKAKU: He's the amazing airbag! FANG: We already know he's windbag. > > Ranma nodded quickly and grabbed on to DarkWind's offered hand > (yes a hand this time not a claw), BRIAREOS: Look! I've got hands! FANG: You ARE joking? SOKAKU: This example provided by the Department of redundancy department. > Genma grabbed the other hand, and > the two other girls grabbed on around DarkWind's neck. Ranma watched, SOKAKU: Oooohhh... FANG: If you say the 'V' word.... BRIAREOS: Vinegar? FANG: *sigh* > as DarkWind shimmered even more, his wings seemed to elongate along > his back and his legs got considerably shorter, until DarkWind > appeared no taller than Genma. "Everybody ready?", Jim asked. FANG: [as Genma] Wait a sec, we need the baseball bats to beat you to death! > > "No, but don't let that stop you", replied Ranma. BRIAREOS: Duhhhh... > > With that, DarkWind stepped out into empty air. > > ***** > > Moose felt the rope bite into his legs, as the it became > taught. He quickly began flapping his wings, straining against the > dead weight hanging below him. FANG: I didn't know you were in this fic Sokaku? SOKAKU: Shaddap. >"It's not working", he thought to > himself, watching the ground rushing up towards him. Redoubling his BRIAREOS: -life insurance policy. > efforts, he managed to slow their descent slightly, but they still > were heading towards the ground quickly. > > Shampoo realised that something was wrong, Moose couldn't > support both their weights. "Stupid Moose, let go of the rope and FANG: [as Shampoo] -get out of the fic! > save yourself", she thought. Suddenly she realised that Jim had tied > them together, SOKAKU: [as Shampoo] Shampoo not like Jim's fetish! >Moose, couldn't let go and was being pulled down FANG: Ghhh... that is one of worst sentences written...EVER! > because of her. She had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach, BRIAREOS: You ate some instant noodles too? > Moose dying because of her. "No, that must not happen", she thought. > She began to cut the rope with her sharp teeth. FANG: You mean she began cutting the rope? Duhh... > > Moose closed his eyes and waited for the ground to hit him, he > was still flapping his wings furiously, when the rope attached to his > legs went limp. "NO!", he shouted loudly (of course it came out as a > strangled *Quackkk*). BRIAREOS: So he didn't really shout 'no'? >He opened his eyes, and watched as shampoo fell > into a grove of trees. SOKAKU: [as Mousse] My hair won't look the same! >Freed from his burden Moose circled and flew > quickly to where he had last seen Shampoo. BRIAREOS: Right beneath him? That would impy diving. > > Following Shampoo's descent through the trees was easy enough, > broken branches littered the forest floor. He landed beside a snow > bank, one with the outline of a cat embedded in it. Moose looked over > at the impression in the snow, "No, Shampoo my love, you can't die", SOKAKU: [as Mousse] At least, not until I've taken out the million dollar life insurance! > he thought furiously. A sneeze echoed from the hole in the snow, and > Moose looked up quickly seeing a bruised and battered cat, pulling > itself from the snow-drift. He quacked happily and ran over to her, > rubbing his beak over her soft fur. Her enjoyed his happy sensation ALL: The hell? FANG: Help desk! We need to make some sense! > for about half a minute, before one of the cat's claws struck him in > the side of the head. He looked up at Shampoo, it was clear form her SOKAKU: What's clear form? > expression (*Authors note: While most animals don't have expressions, > I've noticed that the Ranma cast's alternates most definitely do..), BRIAREOS: Der moment people. ALL: DEEERRR! > that she wanted to get on and try to find out what happened to Ranma. > A bruised little cat followed by a wing-tired duck stumbled in the > direction that their plane had been travelling in. > > > ***** > > "Ahh, snow, cold winds and no equipment, just what I wanted to > become a mercenary for!", said Kemper sarcastically. ALL: Ha-ha-ha. Kill him. > > "Shut up and keep digging", replied Hausler. BRIAREOS: I thought he was Quaid? > > The two men were stranded somewhere in the Rocky mountains, SOKAKU: Right in front of Frank N' Furter's castle! > about five minutes ago they saw what was left of their transport BRIAREOS: A multi-coloured Kombie they shared with a Great Dane and a hippy. > destroyed as it hit the side of a rather large mountain. Landing > beside their equipment (or rather beside the hole that their equipment > made upon landing), the had found Kemper's pack first - the radio and > GPS system had been destroyed in the fall (Author's Note: a Global > Positioning System is used to pinpoint your location anywhere in the > world down to a few meters). BRIAREOS: *gasp* We didn't know that! > > > "DarkWind really got himself deep in trouble this time, how > the hell are we suppose to rescue his friends if they know that FANG: [as Kemper] -we are incompetents. > we're coming?", said Kemper as he roughly shovelled show off from the > top of his partner's pack. BRIAREOS: Complainig boofheads. I'd say that's an accurate description of mercs. SOKAKU: You've gotta be joking! I wouldn't work with these goofs if they were hired as kitchen hands! > > Hausler grabbed up his pack, pulling out his arctic gear and > hurriedly putting on his jacket, "Listen, DarkWind's gotten us out of > a few problems before, I think we can trust him not to invite us on > any suicide missions", he replied. FANG: [as Hausler] Much. > > "Sure, if he *knew* it was going to be a suicide mission", > Kemper replied sarcastically. BRIAREOS: Oh, the rapier wit of Kemper! > > "Well, lets get going, you want to take point?", Hausler > replied. > > "Oh great, why me? I've always gotta go and get my tail- > feathers cold", Kemper said as he pulled off his jacket and dropped > his pack. FANG: He 'said'? So I guess he wasn't complaining then? > > "Well at least *you* don't have to double up on BRIAREOS: [as Hausler] -Raye. SOKAKU: DON'T GO THERE! >packs", > Hausler replied, lifting up Kemper's stuff and throwing it over his > shoulder. FANG: Then he watched it fall off the cliff. > > "Complaints, complaints, is that all you can provide?", Kemper FANG: I haven't seen English this awkward since grade eight! > asked sourly, shimmering and reforming into a BRIAREOS: -Smoke Jaguar. FANG: -Ghost Bear. SOKAKU: -Steel Viper. >pigeon. He then flew up > to get a good look around. FANG: [as Kemper] Hey, I can bomb Hausler from here! > > "Hope you meet a hungry hawk", Hausler muttered under his > breath. Swinging his own pack over his other should, Hausler > followed his friend off towards where the plane went down. > > ***** > > Ukyou awoke slowly, her head was pounding and she felt a sharp > pain in her right leg. "Where the hell am I", She thought to herself. BRIAREOS: [as Ukyou] Don't tell me I spent all my money on booze again? > Remembering the jump from the plane, she tried to sit upright, only > to find a strange furry mass, SOKAKU: [as Ukyou] It IS Saturday morning! > holding her to the ground. Once her > eyes had focused, she recognised that a large Panda was holding her SOKAKU: [as Ukyou] Ewww...did I fall in the Panda enclosure at the zoo again? > down. She quickly shoved Genma over and had a quick look at him. He > was bleeding from a gash on his head, and was unconscious, the damp > snow, had obviously triggered his change. Ukyou looked around for FANG: -St Bernhard with a cask of rum. She really needed that rum! > anyone else, she was sprawled in the middle of a small clearing, the > rope linking her to her friends had obsiously snapped in the fall. On > one side of the clearing she saw Ranma lying unconscious, still SOKAKU: [as Willow] -a Skanky Ho! > clutching Akane across his chest, it looked like Ranma had tried to FANG: -dance the Macarana at the C&W ball. > absorb most of the impact from their fall. Ukyou immediately tried to BRIAREOS: -bludgeon Akane to death. FANG: Hey! Ukyou isn't like that. BRIAREOS: [sotto] Ohhh! You just lovveee Saint Ukyou, don't you? > get to her feet, wincing as she felt her ankle give way under her > weight. "Ranma, wake up!", she called across the clearing. BRIAREOS: My GOD! Ukyou has stumbled upon a sure-fire technique to awaken the unconscious and coma patients! > > Ranma-Chan shook her head slightly as she heard someone > calling her name, then wished she hadn't, the pain was awful. She FANG: -remembered she was in Shifters and lapsed into a coma. > groaned loudly, feeling something pinning her to the ground. Upon > opening her eyes she saw that Akane was lying unconscious across her > chest. "I hope she doesn't misunderstand", she thought, BRIAREOS: This IS Akane, we are talking about? > tapping > Akane's face with one hand, trying to wake her. Her eyes came open > suddenly and she stared in shock at Ranma lying under her. FANG: [as Akane] Aaahh! Skank germs! > > "You...... ", she said raising her fist. > > Ranma-Chan raised her hands defensively, "Think about it > before you hit me", she said. BRIAREOS: That's when Akane beat him to the point of death. > > Akane lowered her fist and got up quickly, seeming none the > worse from their fall. "Where is everybody", she asked, helping FANG: -the plot move on. > Ranma-Chan to her feet. They both noticed Genma and Ukyou lying a the > other end of the clearing and moved quickly over to them. ALL: [zombie-like] Brains! BRAINS! BRAINS! > > Ukyou seemed alright, except for a badly twisted ankle. Genma on > the other hand had not recovered concisions and was bleeding badly. SOKAKU: [as Genma] I'm dead! I'm deceased! You can't get anything out me. Shoo! Shoo! > Akane ripped off one of her sleeves and bandaged the cut, moving Genma > into a sitting position. ALL: BZZZZZZZTTT! WRONGO! SOKAKU: The proper procedure is to check the airway is clear and move to head to the side providing there are so spinal injuries. Sitting a person up is a no-no! > > "Where's Jim?", Ranma-Chan asked, looking around the clearing. > Noticing another impact mark on the snow she went over to examine it. FANG: [as Ranma] What's all the goo? > Jim had landed here alright, but he was now missing. Looking around > carefully, she saw a set of foot-prints leading away from the > clearing, it looked like one person trying to pull along another who > was unconscious. BRIAREOS: [as Ranma] How White Man. Me um great tracker! > > Ranma-Chan ran back to her friends, "Jim's gone, it looks like > someone took him", she explained. SOKAKU: Hopefully it was the Church of Man. > > "Growl.. Rorwl.. Groan", said Genma-Panda, waking up and > clutching at his head. ALL: We know that feeling! > > "So what do we do now?", Ukyou asked quietly, "We've don't > even know where we are supposed to go". ALL: [singing] Follow...follow...the yellow sand road! > > Akane shook her head, "We've got to find Moose and Shampoo, or > even those two mercenaries that Jim hired". BRIAREOS: [as Akane] -and/or medical help. > > The three bruised and weary people and one panda began moving > towards where the plane had crash, figuring that it was the most > likely place from the others to be travelling to. SOKAKU: Or down the slope. Or to shelter. Or whatever. > > "That is if they survived", Ranma-Chan pointed out. FANG: [as Ranma] Pardon me for finding the glass half empty. > > Ranma-Chan suddenly remembered something and ran back to the > clearing, returning a short time later with a small case that Jim had > given her just previous to their jump. BRIAREOS: [as Jim] You and me. Out the back, one, two! > > "What's that?", Akane asked. SOKAKU: Knowing Jim I don't really want to know. FANG: Knowing you probably something to do with cucumbers. SOKAKU: Hey! I don't knowing anything about no stinking cucumbers! > > Ranma-Chan shrugged, "No idea, but Jim said it was *very* > important". ALL: Can ya smell what the plot device is cooking? > > ***** > > Madaline sat looking at the unconscious form of Jim Williams. SOKAKU: [as Madaline] Which limb shall I chop off first? Lalalala! > "What the hell am I supposed to do now?", she thought to herself. She SOKAKU: -was frustrated, frantic and female! > should have killed him and his friends as soon as she found them. She > was sitting in a small storm shelter, the Conclave had a number of BRIAREOS: -plot devices. > similar shelters set up around the mountain that was their US > headquarters. There was a fire going in one corner of the room and > Jim was lying wrapped up in a blanket. FANG: -on a spit rotating above the fire. > > "I should kill you", she said to his unconscious face. She > remembered their last meeting, in the plane. What was the point of SOKAKU: -the fic? None that we can tell. > crashing the plane, she knew that Jim could fly. In his room why did BRIAREOS: -that bottle of milk look funny? SOKAKU: The ceiling of Jim's room has many white spots. *KA-SPLAT* [Fang pulls a baseball bat from under the seat and clocks Sokaku with it] FANG: That'll learn ya. SOKAKU: Guhh... my head. > she wait so long before trying to kill him, and then try to strangle > him, she could have killed him with a single punch? It didn't make > any sense, it was almost as if she didn't want to kill him.... ALL: *groan* Noooo! FANG: Can ya smell the face turn coming? SOKAKU: Or at least a 'tweener. > > "No!", she shook her head angrily, "I follow the Conclave's > orders, I'll bring him in alive for trial", she stated firmly. BRIAREOS: The same Conclave that has a death warrant out on him? Sheesh. > > ***** > > Shampoo was not having one of her better days, her paws were > almost frozen with the cold and she was bruised all over. Up in the > sky above her, Moose signalled her that he had seen something, she SOKAKU: -took advantage of the situation to run away. > moved quickly through the trees in the direction he indicated. "That's BRIAREOS: [as Shampoo] -a giant wooden ship? The hell! > something different", she thought to herself, Moose was acting almost > normal around her, "it makes for a nice change", she thought. Padding FANG: Been putting the kilos on around the hips have you? > softly through the underbrush she came to a wide area of destruction, > jagged pieces of metal were everywhere, there were even a few BRIAREOS: -bits of Waspinator scattered about. > smouldering fires still going on. Shampoo sniffed and moved quickly > in amongst the wreckage looking for any signs of her friends. > > After a quick search of the area, she noticed several sets of SOKAKU: -Magic: The Gathering trading cards. > tracks, it looked like someone else was interested in the remains of FANG: -Buddy Holly? SOKAKU: -Harold Holt? BRIAREOS: -Elvis? > their plane. Moving silently along she crept into the surrounding > forest cover. Suddenly she froze, there was the a man up ahead. He > hadn't seen her, but was instead watching the approach to the crash > site. BRIAREOS: And how many of these were there? SOKAKU: Well, they blocked off North Road so you could only get there via Queen Street. >He was also carrying a gun. Shampoo watched as the took out a > radio and called someone. Her English was not very good, but she FANG: -did not have to employ it since everyone talked Japanese in the series. > managed to pick out the words 'capture' and 'trap'. Slinking back > into the bushes she scampered back along the tree line and signalled BRIAREOS: -for the men to shoot Mousse to death. > Moose that there was a problem. > SOKAKU: [as Shampoo] Midge is coming! Midge is coming! > Moose landed beside Shampoo, wondering at why she had > signalled him. Shampoo indicated the crash site and shook her BRIAREOS: -lovely booty. FANG: She's in her cat form. BRIAREOS: [sadly] A guy can dream. > head, Moose shrugged his shoulders (or the duck equivalent) and > indicate that he didn't understand. SOKAKU: [as Mousse] No haba Ingelis? Das monsiuer non understandink? > > "How the hell is a cat supposed to talk to a duck", Shampoo > thought angrily. Scratching in the snow she wrote out the words BRIAREOS: Boofhead and doofus. > 'trap' and 'Ranma'. Moose nodded his head and took off, obviously > understanding her reference. Shampoo began to backtrack, searching > along the plane's flightpath for her friends. FANG: And she knew the flightpath...how? > > ***** > > Akane was helping Ukyou along through the forest when a BRIAREOS: -drop bear knocked her out. > hissing ball of fur jumped straight at her face. "Uhh.. Shampoo > what are you doing?", she said half-angry, half-relieved to see > her. SOKAKU: Akane then strangled Shampoo. The End. > > Ranma-Chan was getting the same treatment from Moose, he was > battering Ranma-Chan's face with his wings. "Hey, Stop that", she FANG: -called him a wife beater. > said. Battering away Moose, Ranma-Chan placed her father gently on > the ground. "Why are you doing that', she demanded of Moose angrily. SOKAKU: [as Moose] Duhh... I'm just Canadian animal of the wilds... > > The sudden *snick* of a gun being cocked echoed around the > forest. "They're probably trying to warn you about us", came a > voice. BRIAREOS: Oh my god! It's Rambo and Snake and they are pissed! > > Ranma-Chan turned to see a pair of men, both carrying rifles > standing about ten meters in front of them. > > "Everyone lie face-down on the ground, hands behind your > head", one of the men said. SOKAKU: And then they machine gunned them to death. > > Ranma-Chan looked around for a means of escape, finding none she FANG: -fell to her knees and blubbered like an idiot. > placed her hands behind her head and motioned everyone to do the same. > Akane looked ready to argue but Ranma-Chan glanced angrily at her, > "BAKA, not even *I* can outrun a bullet", she said. BRIAREOS: She's no Son Goku! > > Akane was raising her hands, when suddenly a pair of figures > raised up behind the two with guns. FANG: Raised? RAISED? They rose! Rose, dammit! > > "You boy's shouldn't play with guns", Kemper said, as he hit one > of the attackers with a tree branch. > > "Yeah, you might hurt yourself", said Hausler kicking the > other in the head. BRIAREOS: Where do these guys get their dialogue from? Hollywood? > > Kemper picked up one of the rifles the men had been using, SOKAKU: -and accidentally shot himself in the foot! FANG: [as Kemper] *BANG* Ow, my foot! *BANG* Ow, my other foot! > "Well at least these guys had good taste in guns", he said, BRIAREOS: Unlike Hauser, I mean Hausler and Kemper. > examining it closely. Hausler picked up the other gun, also > examining it. SOKAKU: [as Kemper] Yep. It's a gun. > > "If you guys are ready", Ranma said tiredly. ALL: Yes. Can we kill ourselves now? > > Kemper glanced in his direction, "Oh sorry kid, did you want > one?", he asked, offering the rifle to Ranma. BRIAREOS: Where upon he shot himself in the foot! SOKAKU: My god! If I ever had to work with these guys I'd kill them before they get me killed! > > Ranma shook his head, "I don't believe in guns", he said. FANG: So he covered his ears and squeezed his eyes shut and chanted "I'm not listening! I'm not listening"! > > Hausler blinked and looked at the rifle he'd picked up, "Looks > pretty real to me kid", he said smiling. FANG: Oh my god! He read my mind! I'm going insane! HEEELLPPP! BRIAREOS: Calm down. Have a Kit-Kat. [Briareos hands Fang a Kit-Kat] FANG: Mm...Kit-Katt...[munches on the chocky] SOKAKU: Suck-up. > > > The two mercenaries chuckled and took a good look at the sorry SOKAKU: -excuse for a story. > group standing in front of them, "You guys look like you need a rest", > said Kemper motioning them to follow, "Come on we'll take you to > camp". FANG: [while licking chocolate off his fingers] I hope it's like my grade five camp. We had a dry cow-pat fight there. Heheheh. SOKAKU: Eww... > > Hausler and Kemper helped everyone along until they reached > the base of a large mountain, BRIAREOS: Sounds more like Mount Cootha than the Rocky Mountains! > the lead them along until they FANG: -collapsed and died. > reached a small hut. BRIAREOS: It has a demented old man and a green chocobo in it. > > "We found this place a few hours ago", Hausler explained, > "Along with another missing companion". SOKAKU: Harold Holt? FANG: Elvis? > > Ranma-Chan stepped into the little hut immediately noticing a BRIAREOS: -bloody corpse on a cross. FANG: [as WWF press agent] It's a SYMBOL! > sleeping Jim, lying in front of a fire. "When did you find him", she > asked. SOKAKU: [as Kemper] In a dumpster sipping gin from the bottle. > > Hausler shrugged, "He was here like this when we found him, > now either he can fix his own wounds while asleep", he said > motioning at the fresh bandages on Jim's shoulders, "or we've got a > friend in these mountains". ALL: *groan* Kill Madaline. > > ***** > > Ranma was enjoying a meal of high-protein biscuits. Well` BRIAREOS: -actually they were hash biscuits. SOKAKU: [as Ranma] Whoa! My hand is purple and green! > enjoying was a bit of an overstatement, they had the exact taste FANG: -and fashion sense of Urkel. > and consistency of cardboard. Akane was sitting beside him, > attempting to choke down a few of the biscuits herself. Jim had SOKAKU: -left his heart in San Francesco. > awoken a few hours ago, insisting that they all needed to get some SOKAKU: Whooo! Is this gonna turn into a lemon? FANG: A yaoi lemon. SOKAKU: Noooooo! Damn you Piro! FANG: Sheesh. > food and rest. The two mercenaries sat at one end of the little > shelter, cleaning their newly acquired rifles. SOKAKU: Ifyouknowwhatimean. > > The door to the shelter opened, Ranma jumped into a fighting > stance, and Kemper and Hausler pulled pistols from under their > jackets, aiming at the door. BRIAREOS: Tony Barber walked in and they shot him to death. > > "Relax, it's just me", Jim called, brushing snow from his > hair. SOKAKU: [as Jim] It's not cocaine...really! > > A snowstorm had arrived just after sunset, confining them to FANG: -beating the tar out of Jim. > the > shelter for the night. Ranma, Moose and Shampoo had regained their BRIAREOS: -sanity and left the fic. > normal forms, but Genma refused to, saying that he was warmer as a SOKAKU: -crossdressing Gundam pilot. > panda. Noticing their looks of distaste Jim moved over to talk to > Ranma and Akane. FANG: [as Ranma] Ewww! He's coming over here! SOKAKU: [as Akane] You distract him while I drop this 100 kilo weight on his skull! > > "Something wrong with the food?, or is it the decor??", he > asked smiling, gesturing around at the little storm shelter. FANG: [as Akane] No, your grammar scares the hell out of us! > > Ranma smiled slightly, "Well, its better than the company", he > said, eyeing Akane. SOKAKU: [as Akane] Yeah, it would be much better without Jim. > > "I'm too cold to argue, Ranma", Akane replied sleepily. FANG: She's cold and sleepy? That goes against all laws of man! > > Jim chuckled and moved over to where Ukyou sat in front of the > open fire, she was staring at it sadly. BRIAREOS: [as Ukyou] Awww, he's coming over here. > > "How's the ankle?", he asked. FANG: Just as he stepped on it. > > Ukyou looked up at him glumly, "If I said it was better, I'd be BRIAREOS: [as Ukyou] -tougher than you! > lying", she said sourly. Her ankle was wrapped up tightly, the > swelling was down on last night, but she still couldn't walk without SOKAKU: -letting out a strangled scream every few steps. > assistance. "I *can't* go into a fight like this", she said sadly, > "Who'll look after Ran-Chan?". BRIAREOS: Ukyou is to Ranma what Paul Bearer is to the Undertaker. FANG: *shudder* That guy reminds of those smiling fat guys that you have ightmares about when you're a kid. > > > Jim looked at her squarely, "Do you really have to ask that > Ukyou?", he said quietly, looking pointedly at Ranma. Akane had FANG: -beaten him to a pulp. > fallen asleep, leaning her head against Ranma's shoulder. Ukyou > hung her head, "Well I can still hope", she said sadly. BRIAREOS: It's pretty obvious which couple Jim favours... SOKAKU: For once, I'm with Jim. BRIAREOS: Pooser. > > Jim laid his hand on her shoulder, "I'm sure it will all work out > in the end", he said comfortingly. FANG: [as Jim] I'm sure your father will be alive after being lost in the snow for months. BRIAREOS: [as Jim] I'm sure your boyfriend will wake up from his coma soon. SOKAKU: [as Jim] I'm sure your tapes will arrive in the mail tomorrow. > > Moose and Shampoo where lying in one corner, both sleeping SOKAKU: -off the booze. > peacefully, huddled quite closely together. Jim smiled, wondering SOKAKU: -if they'd like to have a threesome. > what kind of reaction Shampoo would have when she woke up. Kemper and > Hausler had finished their rifle cleaning and were discussing > something in low tones. FANG: [as Hausler] No! I get to kill him! > > "Something wrong, gentlemen?", Jim asked quietly. SOKAKU: [as Hausler] Yes, I think there's something down the barrel of this gun...would you mind have a look? That's it...*BANG* > > Hausler grinned, motioning to Ukyou who was still sitting by the > fire, "Robert here was just wondering if that young lady had a steady > boyfriend", he said. BRIAREOS: [as Jim] Actually she's engaged to this guy with other fiancees and then there's this crossdresser who is obsessed with her... > > "Isn't she a bit young for you Rob?", Jim asked, also smiling. FANG: [as Kemper] Yeah, but she's too old for you right? > > Kemper frowned, "If you to keep this up, you'll be invading > that base by yourselves tomorrow", he warned. SOKAKU: How...witty... > > At the mention of tomorrow, Jim's face regained a serious > look, "How do you rate our chances?", he asked. BRIAREOS: [as Hausler] None, which is why we are fleeing at dawn. > > Hausler and Kemper exchanged a quick glance, "Well, I don't > much like attacking a fortified position while outnumbered and > outgunned, but other than that I'd say we've got no problems", > Hausler said seriously. SOKAKU: If I have to make my point about decent mercs again... BRIAREOS: Who was the guy caught because he wanted to observe his handiwork? SOKAKU: I HADN'T BEEN HIRED! Besides you were bluffing. FANG: You still got caught....loser. SOKAKU: Just...just shut up. > > Kemper grinned, "So long as these 'kids' of yours work out, > we'll be OK", he said. SOKAKU: [as Kemper] As long as the gnomes give us a hand too. > > Jim glanced around the room, Ukyou and Genma were out, SOKAKU: Has Issei been writing Ranma fanfics? > there was > no way he was taking anyone wounded into the fight. Ranma and Akane > seemed to be getting along better (but he had always had the > impression that their fighting was a bit 'put on' anyway), [Fang covers his ears and squeezes his eyes shut] FANG: I'm not lisssttteninnng! BRIAREOS: Spot the author's opinion. > Moose and > Shampoo had already shown that they could work together. "I think > they'll even impress themselves", he replied smiling. ALL: *cough cough bullshit cough* > > > ***** > > Madaline was sitting in front of Baratis' desk, waiting for > the council member to return from the training room. SOKAKU: The one with the groin attachments that get worn out every three months despite the lifetime guarantee. >"What the > hell am I going to tell him?", she thought to herself. FANG: [as Madaline] He will very disappointed there were no Caramello Koala's at the shop. > > "So Madaline, you return after having failed in your mission", > came Baratis' voice from the door. BRIAREOS: [as Baratis] I wanted that chocolate and caramelly goodness! > > Madaline quickly stood, "I'm very sorry sir, I did my > best....", she said apologetically. SOKAKU: [as Madaline] I came THIS close to breaking a nail! > > Baratis cut her off with a curt gesture, "Never mind, I never FANG: [as Baratis] -got addicted to the damn things anyway! > thought that you would be able to carry it out anyway", he said, > sitting behind his desk. Noticing the angry expression on her face he > smiled slightly, "That's not a reflection on your ability, my dear", > he explained, "I *want* DarkWind here, I have plans for him". BRIAREOS: [crazed] Because he's better than them! He's got a sync ratio of over 200%, he's a the world's best martial artist, he's the lead guitarist in award winning band, he's a powerful psionist and magician and he...can...errmm..I've run out of things.. > > Madaline nodded, "Very well, what do you wish me to do?", she > asked. SOKAKU: [as Baratis] I'd like you to strip naked but that's not important now. > > Baratis tossed a folder across the desk, "I want you to help > train our newest recruit", he said. SOKAKU: [as Madaline] Gill...berg? The hell! > > Madaline opened the folder, frowning as she saw Kathy's photo, > "What's this, since when did you change the rules?, half-breeds are > all supposed to be killed", she said angrily. FANG: [as Madaline] Of course you don't have any secret plans up your sleeve... > > Baratis nodded, "Oh, she will be... think of her as the bullet in > the gun, after it hits the target, who has further need of it??", he > said smiling. BRIAREOS: Forsenics? FANG: Bob's Crazy Used (but in fine condition) Bullet Emporium? > > ***** > > Ryouga squeezed himself through the small opening in the cell > door. He was alone in a corridor that appeared to be tunnelled into > solid stone. Looking around Ryouga shook himself slightly, he had > never been so (in fact ever) glad of that his cursed form was so > small. BRIAREOS: *giggle* Yesss...Ryouga is...small! FANG: Well, what about the times Akane snuggled up to him? > > "Can you see the power lines from where you are?", Thomas > called from inside the cell. SOKAKU: [as Thomas] Can ya smell what the warden is cooking? > > Ryouga grunted in response, noting the pair of heavy duty > electrical cables along one wall. Trotting down the corridor, ALL: [singing] -and knocking on the door! > Ryouga finally found the heavy switch that connected the cell's > power supply. "How am I suppose to turn that?", he thought, SOKAKU: Write up a really wacked angle? > looking at the huge switch. ALL: [as switch] I'm huge! > > Ryouga began to edge up the wall on his hind legs, stretching as > far as his little pig body could reach. ALL: Awwwww, how cutttee. Kill it. > > "Where the hell did that pig come from?", said a voice from > further down the corridor. SOKAKU: [as voice] Oh wait, I'm looking in the mirror. > > "Dunno", echoed a second voice, "But I know where it's going". BRIAREOS: [as second voice] Look out stomach, here she comes! > > Ryouga squealed in terror as a large brown bear charged down the > corridor. The bear growled furiously, its teeth snapped just short of > Ryouga's rump. Forced back against the wall, Ryouga could only stare SOKAKU: -as it performed a ballet dance on a beach ball. > at the massive paw descending at his head. Now while Ryouga couldn't > be considered lucky by anyone's standards, today was his proverbial SOKAKU: -tea bag from hell? > lucky day. As the claw descended, it nicked the power cable. FANG: [as bear] Ow! I broke a nail! > > The bear let out a roar of pain, snatching it's hand back from FANG: -Lenny's rump > the cable. Ryouga scampered back down the hallway towards the > relative safety of his cell. > > "What the hell are you doing?", shouted the first voice. SOKAKU: [as bear] What the hell do you think? I'm roaring in pain because of a massive plot contrivance! > > "That little bastard was hiding under the power cable", > replied the second voice, "I burnt my bloody claw on it". BRIAREOS: [as bear] I should wear my glasses more often. > > "Well be more careful, next time you might trip the circuit > breakers....", began the first voice again. FANG: When did he say it the first time? > > Ryouga was about a meter from the cell door when it exploded > outwards. BRIAREOS: GOOOLLDDBERRGG! > > "What do you mean 'next time'?", said a strange dark-skinned > creature standing in the wreckage of the door. FANG: Taz? >With a savage growl, > the creature threw itself at the two men. The fight lasted about > three seconds, by the time Ryouga looked around again, both men were > unconscious on the floor. SOKAKU: Thomas is Hulka-Hogan! > > The black shape shimmered, in its place stood Thomas. He > stretched his arms, "Well, that feels much better", he exclaimed. He > reached down and picked up Ryouga, "Let's get my daughter and get out > of here", he said. BRIAREOS: Thomas is Ah-nuld in Commando! > > Ryouga grunted in agreement, wondering if there was any hot > water in this place. SOKAKU: [British] I could do with a spot of tea. > > ***** > > Jim was crouched in some bushes, watching as a Conclave patrol > left the mountain headquarters. He had been waiting for almost an > hour for the patrol to leave, "Come on, where going", FANG: Where going? There going! There Ranma! There Akane! Sheesh. > he said to Ranma > and Akane. > > They raced towards the concealed door, just sliding in before it BRIAREOS: -opened again since it was an automatic door. > closed tightly behind them. The corridor they entered was cut > straight into the mountain, it looked like an old mine shaft, but some > serious modifications had been done. SOKAKU: For instance, there were no coal faced old drunkards. > > > Jim motioned Ranma and Akane to follow him down to corridor. With > a bit of luck, Shampoo, Moose and the mercenaries would keep that > patrol busy for a while. Moving swiftly they travelled about a > hundred and fifty meters into the mountain, before they came to an > elevator. > > Ranma looked at the complicated keypad lock, "Great, how the hell > are we supposed to get in here?", he said sourly. > > Jim grinned, walking up to the elevator, he reformed his hand > until they resembled thin sheets of metal. Sliding his hands between > the door halves and opening the door was a then simple matter. BRIAREOS: Ogg... and I thought the Conclave was actually smart... FANG: They might've set off an alarm? BRIAREOS: This IS Jim. FANG: [pause] Right, so silly of me to forget that. > > Akane stuck her head in the elevator shaft, looking up she FANG: -was squished as the elevator came down. > suddenly felt dizzy, the shaft seemed to go up forever. "We've got to > climb?", she asked in a sick voice. BRIAREOS: That is a very very bad idea. Unless no one just *happens* to use the elevators... > > Jim nodded, "Yeah, but before we start, Ranma do you have that > case I gave you on the plane?", he asked. SOKAKU: He's been toting that all this time and Jim has to ASK? > > Ranma nodded and handed it over to Jim, placing it on the > ground carefully, Jim inserted the tip of his finger into the lock and FANG: -set off the burglar alarm! > concentrated. There was a small snick and the lid opened. Ranma > looked over at what could be so important. Sitting in the heavily > cushioned case were about a dozen small vials of a clear liquid. SOKAKU: Water from the Brisbane River! FANG: It wouldn't be clear then. SOKAKU: D'OHH! > > Jim picked up one of them, looking at it carefully, "It looks ok, > be *very* careful with these, there made to shatter when thrown at > someone, but they might be broken with other kinds of impacts, he > explained. BRIAREOS: [as Jim] Such as a mozzie landing on one. > > Ranma picked up a vial, "What's in it?", he asked. SOKAKU: [as Jim] Water. I get thirsty. > > "A rare mixture that Bob managed to locate", Jim said smiling > sadly, "It took him a lot of effort to secure these samples". FANG: [as Bob] I am Bob. You will be unable to resist my dream, samples. > > Jim motioned Akane to pick up her share, "I gather we're > supposed to throw them at people", Akane said, "They won't kill > anyone will they?". BRIAREOS: [as Jim] Nah, they just get wet. > > Jim shook his head, "No, it won't kill anyone, but you > *really* don't want to get any of it on yourselves", he said. SOKAKU: [as Jim] It's sticky.... and it's from Dan. BRIAREOS: *KA-SPLAT* > > "But what...", Ranma began. FANG: [as Ranma] -about me? What about Ranma? > > Jim shook his head, "Come on, lets get climbing", he said. BRIAREOS: [singing] You get...climbing? > > ***** > > Shampoo and Moose were watching the patrol heading towards the SOKAKU: -Sony discount outlet. > plane's wreckage. There was about twenty men, about five carried > guns, the rest were unarmed. FANG: About? ABOUT? Did they take their lessons in tactics from General Custer? > > "We'll take out the guys with the hardware first kids", said > Kemper. BRIAREOS: Duhhh... > > Shampoo and Moose turned to look at him in surprise, "What you > doing here?, you suppose to be on other side of path", Shampoo said > angrily. FANG: [as Kemper] If you can have a question mark in the middle of your sentence then I can be on this side of the path! > > Kemper shrugged, "Makes no difference to me, but Jim told us to SOKAKU: [as Kemper] -mock you with our pants! > keep an eye on you, so I've gotta babysit, while Hausler has all the > fun", he said. FANG: [as Hausler] What do you mean fun? My wife turns out to be an bad guy, I turn out to be a bad guy and then I to Mars...oh wait, wrong series. > > Moose frowned angrily, "What do you mean, 'babysit', we're > going to be in on this", he said. FANG: At least it didn't have a frigging question mark in the middle of what sounded like a question. > > Shampoo nodded, "Moose right, we come all this way, you not > stop us fight", she said, shaking one of her maces. BRIAREOS: And then she accidentally sprayed Kemper. > > Kemper smiled, "We thought that you'd feel that way", he said. SOKAKU: [as Kemper] So we couldn't make a bet, damn you! > Suddenly he drew a canteen from behind his back, spraying them with > it's contents. A very wet cat hissed angrily and jumped and Kemper's > face, scratching. An equally wet and angry duck, battered him around > the head with it's wings. BRIAREOS: [monotone] Ow. Ooh. Help. > Pushing the animals out of the way, Kemper shimmered and > reformed into a white owl, flying up to a tree branch. He winked at SOKAKU: -Mousse and indicated they should go behind the bushes. > the pair on the ground once and flew off in the direction the patrol > had taken. BRIAREOS: [as Kemper] Suckkkers! Now you freeze to death from hypothermia. SOKAKU: Let's get outta here. [They all leave the theatre] (Hitomi's Lab) HITOMI: Decended into the depths of insanity yet? (SoH) BRIAREOS: MMm..yee-No. (HL) HITOMI: Dammit! Don't worry, there's still more Shifters to come. YOSHI: Your time will come. Oh yes, your time will come! HITOMI: Push the button Yoshi. [Yoshi pushes the button] SOKAKU: [voice over] Well, that was pointless. ------------- MSTers notes. More misadventures of Jim and his B-Team (previously known as the stars of Ranma 1/2). What can I say? Except that it's realllly dull now even though things are happening and the climax is approached. I feel distinctly underwhelmed. In the next part: The totally unexpected season finale for Mystery Appleseed Theatre. I'm fleshing out some vague ideas that I had when I started out, I didn't expect to go this far so I'm making a few changes including the 'seasons'. Keep the feedback coming in! Positive, negative or neutral, I don't mind! Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings http://lefty.simplenet.com/svam/ My homepage http://www.powerup.com.au/~foster/ -------- MSTings so far: -------- Season One. #1 Trial By Fire part one - [Gundam] #2 Trial By Fire part two - [Gundam] #3 Trial By Fire part three - [Gundam] #4 Neo Armageddon Evangelist. - [Neon Genesis Evangelion] #5 Shifters parts one and two- [Ranma 1/2] #6 Shifters part three - [Ranma 1/2] #7 Neo Armageddon Evangelist [Neon Genesis Evangelion] with short: A Surfing Tale [Misc] #8 Shifters part four - [Ranma 1/2] #9 Shifters part five -[Ranma 1/2] #10 Shifters part six - [Ranma 1/2] Season Two: ??? ----- Stinger: "Ahh, snow, cold winds and no equipment, just what I wanted to become a mercenary for!", said Kemper sarcastically.