Joel, Dan, and Mohan were sitting on the hill below the girls' basketball court. Joel was lost in thought while the others were.. ahem.. enjoying the view. "Ah.. all the girls have such lovely breasts!" said Mohan. A passing girl muttered about the pervert, but Mohan valiantly ignored her. "Hey, Joel! Whatcha looking at?" Joel fumbled for words. "Uh.. nothing, I guess." "Really?" asked Mohan. "I would guess.. Shion!" "We're not stupid," added Dan, "so of course we doubt you." "Ahh.." said Mohan. "Shion's breasts, Shion's thighs, Shion's.." Joel cringed in anticipation of what they would say next. "CALVES!" they finished in unison. "It's not like that!" protested Joel. "Oh, really? Then what are you looking at?" "Joel, the Mads are calling.." Joel: Aw, man.. What's with these dreams? (He slaps the Mads Light.) Dr.F: Good morning, peons! You know, I don't really care what you've invented this week. Tom: What? But we just finished coding Pocky-mon, the tastiest video game ever! Dr.F: Oh, poor baby. No, I don't care.. because I have developed the last word in evil technology! Frank, unveil the Omnifactor! (Frank whips the tarp away to reveal an amazingly complex techno- looking thingy. It has monitors, antennae, wires, vacuum tubes, LEDs, dials, meters.. the whole shebang.) Dr.F: This baby runs on human energy.. the same human energy I've been siphoning from you with these fics! And after a few more fics, I'll be able to.. dare I say it? Frank:Dare! Dare! Dr.F: Rule the world! NYAHAHAHA!! Eat Hentai Senshi, Team Rocket! Crow: Hey, that sounds like fun to me. Joel: There's no time for that! We've gotta stop them somehow! (All hell breaks loose.) All: We've got fanfic sign! Tom: Great. The last thing we'll see before the world ends is a lame fic. >Konichii wa, minna-san! Joel: (Ai) Good morning, Mr. Youta! > Yes! Crow: No! Maybe! Pass! > We are back! Carlos >and I have thought about this long and hard Tom: (author) ..it took us at least forty seconds! > and >finally found the idea for this part. We'd >like to send a domo arigato out to James Han, >who allowed us to use him in our fic as well as his >character. Crow: James, let us tell you.. you _will_ regret this decision later. > Carlos, I am afraid, has lost his access >and will not be on for a while. All: (cheer) > So I am doing this >ep..please e-mail with any questions or comments at: >oneechan@hotmail.com Crow: Oh, to have a sister like that. >This particular part comes after the "Appearence Of >Oceanus". All: Huh? Tom: But.. this is #7.. and we just read #6.. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? Joel: Looks like the Doctor forgot to send us a story. This should be fun.. > Now, all hentai rules apply. Hentai senshi >and all people I created are our property, Sailor Moon >belongs to Takeuchi Naoko and Toei. Joel: The rest will be sent to the city pound. >------------------------------- >Sailor Moon Hentai, Part 7 >"Ganymede Is Amoung Us" Tom: (Announcer voice) They're everywhere.. and the next one could be you.. or YOU!.. >By: Sailor Pleasure Crow: How ironic that Pleasure gives us so much pain.. > > No one could believe it. Joel: Yanks win again? Geez.. > Mamoru..gay.. Crow: Hey, I can believe it. Joel: Why's that? Crow: Even with Rei practically throwing herself at him, he still wasn't interested! If it had been me, I would've.. would've.. Tom: You would've what? Crow: Actually, I'm not sure, but I know I would've been interested in doing whatever it was. >Usagi took this especially hard. She had spent the >day in her room crying her eyes out. Tom: (Usagi) *pop* Aagh! > We were all >pretty pissed off at Mamoru for telling Usagi like >he did, Joel: Yeah, it would've been much better to spend his life in the closet than to actually acknowledge the way he feels! > but we didn't confront him. We seemed to be >shattered from the closeness we had felt before from >Mamoru. Tom: (spoken) Crash, tinkle, tinkle! > And although we know it wasn't Motoki's fault, >we still thought he was pretty cruel too. Crow: Huh? Now I'm really lost.. Joel: I guess we're somehow supposed to know that Mamoru fell in love with Motoki.. maybe.. > Kelly and Mamoru had become like brother and >sister, yet Kelly didn't speak to him. She wasn't there >for him anymore. She wasn't there period. She was >never over his house, never speaking to him..nothing.. >it was like she has shut him out. He had called her >numerous times and she never answered the phone. She >was silent on the subject too. Tom: Ms. Nys? If you're reading this, we beg you to remember that this isn't our fault. > All the senshi hoped that this turn of >events would not affect their precious future... Joel: You mean aside from preventing Prince Endymion from marrying Neo- Queen Serenity and giving birth to Chibi-Usa, thus retconning her out of existance? (All think about this for a second.) Joel: All of a sudden, I like this plot twist! Tom: Go for it, Mamoru! Crow: Hey, all the more senshi for the rest of us.. > > * * * * Tom: Staryu! I choose you! > > James Han, a seventeen year old male walked >into Kelly's classroom. Joel: Male _what_? Tom: Senshi, given how this fic has gone in the past.. > He smiled at Kelly. Kelly >smiled vaguely in return Crow: (Kelly) Guh.. I had Jell-o today. > and he walked to the desk >next to her, taking a seat. James was a nice guy, >she thought. He had dark brown hair and eyes Tom: Which, as we all know, is a foolproof indicator of someone's personality. > and >she could see by the smile he upheld there was something >different about him. Crow: Well, naturally! Who in his right mind would ever smile? > Her eyes then brightened. Tom: (Kelly) *fwash* AAGH! Joel: That makes two down.. > Of course! "Hi, >my name is Kelly Moule. What's yours?" She smiled, >holding out her hand. James smiled in response. Joel: (James, stoned) I am _so_ baked. >"I'm James, James Han. Nice to meet you, Kelly." (All begin to talk at once, then stop.) Crow: We'd better get it out of our systems now.. Joel: Talk to the Han! Tom: o/~ I wanna hold your Han.. Crow: (Usagi) Lend a Han! Sailor Moon says! Joel: (Luke Skywalker) Han.. you're leaving? Tom: Poor writing and Sailor Moon Hentai go Han in Han! Crow: It's just Kelly and Mr. Han.. Joel: Crow! Oh.. uh.. o/~ We're all in the Han now of God.. Tom: It's a bird.. it's a plane.. it's SuperHan! Crow: Keep both Han where I can see 'em and don't make any sudden moves! Joel: Manos: The Han of Fate! Tom: Claude Rains as the Invisible Han of the Free Market! Crow: o/~ Han in the place where you live.. (pause) Tom: Well, I feel much better now. Joel: Yeah, but I'm kinda hungry.. Crow: How about a Han sandwich? (begins to laugh hysterically) Tom: Or Han-dingers? (joins Crow) Joel: Sigh.. *whap**whap* Tom: Ahh, thanks. I needed that. > James >said, shaking her hand. Crow: Shouldn't that be "shaking her Han?" Joel: (brings out unidentifiable tool) Don't make me use this, Crow.. > She agreed to herself. >James was definately gay. Tom: (Joanie Caucus) Well, what's wrong with that? I'm usually pretty happy myself! > But, as it mattered. She >didn't mind if people were that way from the beginning, >but if they turn it, that's another story. Joel: Oh, to be reading another story. _Any_ other story. > "Would you like to join me and my friends, >Haruka-san, Hotaru-chan, and Michiru-san, for lunch?" >Kelly asked, in her best voice. Crow: The one with a hood ornament and chrome detailing! > James nodded. "Hai, >I'd like that." James smiled. Kelly smiled too. Having >James as a friend was not such a bad thing. And who >could disagree? Joel: Don't say anything, you two. It's not his fault he got Avatared into a bad fic. > She had friends like James...Haruka.. Tom: H a r u k a s a m a.. (Joel and Crow both look at him funny.) >Michiru...(her eyes darkened)...Mamoru... > "Moule-san? Moule-san!" A voice called. >She snapped Crow: (Kelly) WAHAHAHA!! Everyone put your hands behind your head, and nobody moves or everybody gets hurt! > out of it Crow: Oh. > and stared into the coffee >black eyes of Aceto-sensei. Joel: (Aceto) I am the Great Svengali. You will do as I command. > She smiled. "Hai, >Aceto-sensei?" She asked, in a near dreamy voice. Crow: (glaring at Tom) Sounds like someone else I could name. Tom: (Near dreamy voice) Huh? >"Pay attention please." Aceto-sensei said, in >a very commanding voice. Joel: (Aceto) Call me king! > Kelly smiled and cleared >her throat. Crow: Getting it good and ready for- Joel: Crow! > "I will." She said. > Aceto-sensei nodded and walked back to the >board. Crow: (Aceto) *whap* Ow! Joel: Three down.. > Just then, the bell for lunch rang. Kelly >and James walked out into the hallway and Hotaru, >Haruka, and Michiru walked up to Kelly. Tom: (still on Cloud Nine) Ahh.. Haruka-sama.. Joel: Tommy, snap out of it! Tom: Erk.. sorry. I think I've got it under control now. > "Haruka, Tom: H a r u k a s a- Crow: Tom! Stop it already! Tom: Sorry. >Michiru, Hotaru. This is my new friend, James Han. >James, these are my friends, Ten'ou Haruka-san, (Both Joel and Crow look at Tom.) Tom: H a r u- sorry. I'm really under control now. Crow: You better be. >Kaiou Michiru-san and Tomoe Hotaru-chan." She said, >introducing them all. > "Nice to meet you." They all said. > * * * * Joel: You two next to each other seeing an h-pic of Umi and Haruka. Bots: Hey! > > "So Chi-chan and Umi-chan are gone, ne?" Aku said. >Mistress Vira grinned evily. Kurai appeared before them >all. All: Gyah! Tom: Don't _do_ that! > "It is a shame, Chi and Umi were two of the best generals." >Kurai said. Then two figures appeared. It was Umi and Chi. >"Umi! Chi! How in..?" Aku screeched. (All but Tom cover their ears.) Joel: Ow.. > "Perhaps you forgot, >Umi and Chi are the youngest, the power of death does not >take us until 30." Chi said. Crow: Plot contrivance.. is there anything it can't do? Tom: Probably not, actually. > "Saa..it's good to have you back." Kurai said. >Mistress Vira nodded. "Chi, Umi, you have been sucessful. >You have proven your true power. I hearby appoint you >high generals." Tom: Huh? All they proved was that they were under 30! > Mistress Vira said and they both smiled. >"Domo Arigato!" They both said. Then Chi cleared his throat. Joel: Snickersnag! > "Well then you two must finish your fight with >the hentai senshi. And, we have reason to believe another >Senshi is going to appear." Crow: Why? Just because one appears EVERY FRIGGIN' EPISODE?! > Aku smiled. They nodded and >left. > > * * * * Tom: Hey, someone malleted the next section! > > Mamoru walked down the sidewalk Joel: o/~ Well, you can tell by the way I move & walk I'm a woman's man, no time to talk.. Crow: Not according to this fic. > as Kelly, James, Haruka, (Both Crow and Joel glance at Tom nervously.) Tom: What? >Michiru, Hotaru, Setsuna, Usagi, Ami, Rei, Mako, and Minako were >as well. Kelly spotted him. She smiled. Tom: (Kelly) Fresh meat! > Maybe she shouldn't have >been so hard. She stopped, ran up to him and hugged him. Crow: If the problem is being too hard, that isn't going to help.. > "Hi Mamoru-san!" She said happily. Joel: I am Third Minman: Happily! Tom: Geez.. no-one's gonna get that. > "Kelly...you're talking to me..." Mamoru whispered. Tom: (Mamoru) You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? > "Listen Mamoru-san, gomen nasei...I went to far... >please say you'll forgive me..." Kelly said. > "Forgive you? I only hoped you would forgive me." >Mamoru smiled warmly and hugged her. Crow: (Kelly) *snap* AAGH! Tom: That's four.. Joel: No, we did Kelly twice.. Crow: Sounds good to me. Joel: Huh- ack! No! Tom: She's the Senshi so nice, we killed her twice! > "What a hunk..." James whispered as his mouth watered. > "NANI?!" All the girls exclaimed, they all knew his >secret, their eyes went wide with shock. Tom: But.. if they all knew his secret, why are they shocked? > James did not know, but the sign of Ganymede began >to glow on his forehead and the sky went dark. Umi and Chi >appeared and the Senshi began to transform. Joel: Oboy. Settle in for the long haul, folks. > > * * * * Tom: Anyone for "Ghost"? Crow: Sure. Joel: I'm game. > > "PLEASURE HENTAI POWER, MAKE UP!" Tom: L. > "MOUTH HENTAI POWER, MAKE UP!" Crow: A. > "TONGUE HENTAI POWER, MAKE UP!" Joel: M. > "BREAST HENTAI POWER, MAKE UP!" Tom: Uh.. I. > "NIPPLE HENTAI POWER, MAKE UP!" Crow: N. > > All the girls and James and Mamoru gasped in horror. >"THEY'RE THE HENTAI SENSHI?!" Joel: I can sympathize. A. > > "MOON ETERNAL, MAKE UP!" Tom: T. > "MERCURY PLANET POWER, MAKE UP!" Crow: Uh.. waitasec.. Got it! I. > "MARS PLANET POWER, MAKE UP!" Joel: O. > "JUPITER PLANET POWER, MAKE UP!" Tom: Damn! N. Lamination. I have a G. Are they still transforming? > "VENUS PLANET POWER, MAKE UP!" Tom: Guess so. C. > "URANUS COSMIC POWER, MAKE UP!" Crow: R. > "NEPTUNE COSMIC POWER, MAKE UP!" Joel: A. > "PLUTO COSMIC POWER, MAKE UP!" Tom: N. > "SATURN COSMIC POWER, MAKE UP!" Crow: B. > > "OCEANUS REFLECT POWER!" Joel: Oceanus? Is that Mamoru? E. > > Then James looked down and found a wand. It was fire >red. He raised it. Tom: R. > > "GANYMEDE FLARE POWER, MAKE UP!" Crow: R. > > Flares of lava emited from the wand and circled around >him. He spun and the flares connected to him, creating his fuku. >He did his stance and then he appeared in his fuku. Joel: I think they're done, guys. > He had red and black male fuku. And wore gold bands >on his wrists. He then attacked. > > "GANYMEDE FLARES LACERATE!" > > He screamed. All: AAAAAHHH! > He clashed his gold bands together Tom: (mimsy) No, those bands do _not_ go together. >and flares of lava emited, burning Umi and Chi. Sailor >Oceanus smiled and took this as a opportunity. > > "FLOOD LIQUID DEMOLITION!" Crow: Please, it's "urban renewal". > > The attack hit Umi and Chi and they vanished. Joel: (Chi) No! Wait! We have something to- AAGGH! >The Hentai Senshi smiled at Oceanus and Ganymede. Tom: That's 14 smiles so far. One more and we'll be runners-up for Most Smiles Per Line > > "James, you're Sailor Ganymede." Pleasure >smiled. Crow: GOOAAALL! GOOOAAAAALLL! > > "Hai, and Sailor Oceanus' partner." Artemis >said and came up to them. > > "Partner?" Gaymede asked. Joel: Uh.. Do you suppose that typo was deliberate? It's just possible.. > > "Mamo-chan.." Moon whispered and kissed him. >The Sailor Senshi smiled. Tom: A grand total of 16! Wow! > > Joel: Geez.. I don't know whether to be happy that it's over or depressed that we're one fic closer to the end of the world as we know it. Tom: Rub it in, why don'cha.. <1,2,3,4,5,6,G> In Tokyo-3, the blackout had crippled communications. This left Spencer with one question: "This is big trouble! I've gotta inform HQ.. but how?" At that point, a political van came along, blaring campaign propaganda from its loudspeakers. "..remember McLees, Tim McLees, who isn't bothered even in such an emergency!" A grin spread across Spencer's face. "Lucky!" The heat was increasing in the Geocity, with the air conditioning disabled by the blackout. Among the worst affected were Captain Marta Nys and Ling Ling Li, trapped in an elevator when the power cut out. "It's rather hot," commented Marta, somewhat unnecessarily. "You could take off your shirt if you don't like the heat," responded Ling Ling, with a note of humor in her voice. "There's no need to be shy." Marta kept her shirt on. "Don't be ridiculous. There _is_ such a thing as proper military behavior, even in situations like this." Noriko Kobayashi and Rebecca were fanning themselves to escape the heat. "The air's getting stale. Shouldn't this place be state of the art?" asked Noriko. "Just try to be like the commander over there. He might be suffering, but he hides it." Unseen by the others, Commander Don Euclid had his feet resting in a bucket of ice water. "Isn't that lukewarm by now?" asked his second-in-command, Vince McMahon. "Yes. It is. Joel, wake the heck up already." Crow: Hey, Joel! Look what Gypsy found in her room! Joel: Isn't that a transformation stick? Tom: Yeah! Ain't it cool? Joel: Uh.. right. Dr.F: This is great! With that phony Omnifactor thingy, I can keep them on the edges of their seats as long as I like! MWAHAHAHA! Voice:Yesss.. but Clayton.. it can be reality.. Dr.F: Who said that? Voice:A friend.. | \ | / \ | / \ | / \ | / \|/ --------O-------- /|\ / | \ / | \ / | \ / | \ | Well, _I_ thought it was a neat cliffhanger. If you disagree.. tell me at bensan_arizona@yahoo.com, and I'll listen! I tried to find a copy of "Appearance of Oceanus", but with no success. Regardless, critical plot points (imho) probably shouldn't be in side stories. Sailor Moon Hentai, the Hentai Senshi and friends, and the Darkside belong to Sailor Pleasure. James Han presumably belongs to himself. MST3K, Joel, the Bots, and the Mads belong to Best Brains. Neon Genesis Evangelion belongs to GAINAX. Dan, Mohan, and Rebecca belong to the Brothers Fauth. Shion Nys, Noriko Kobayashi, and Marta Nys belong to Mike Surbrook. Ling Ling Li belongs to Yuzo Takada, but this version is Mike Surbrook's. Spencer Trace belongs to himself. Don Euclid belongs to himself. Tim McLees belongs to himself. I don't quite know who Eric Bischoff belongs to, not being a wrestling fan, but this version belongs to Lynxara. None of these folks are used with their knowledge or permission, but I'm flat broke so don't sue me. It's all in good fun anyway, right?.. right? --Ben-San Arizona bensan_arizona@yahoo.com >James was a nice guy, >she thought. He had dark brown hair and eyes and >she could see by the smile he upheld there was something >different about him.