Sailor Moon: Sailor Sun Parts 1 and 2 Written by Dr.Thinker MSTied by John Hurst a.k.a CrowBar (MakoReno@aol.com) and Jamie Jeans a.k.a JOLT!!! (xwing@uniserve.com) CrowBar's site: http://crowbar.cjb.net/ Jolt's Site: http://users.uniserve.com/~xwing/welcome.html Experiment No. 104 (CrowBar), --- (Uh... I haven't learned to count as high as my MSTings have gone yet. ^_^) John Hurst: Hey everyone! I finally got the chance to get Jolt on a MSTing with me with Alex on the SOS! Anyway, I am crazy enough to tackle Dr.Thinker's work... again (And After Neo-Scouts too!) and Jamie here has done several of his works as well, so it shouldn't be a problem, right Jolt? Enjoy! Jamie Jeans: It is nice to team up with a rookie MSTier... although he is not a rookie anymore. For every person I work with, I gain something and they gain something as well. It's a process of learning that we all go through in life, one which we *must* go through in order to keep from stagnating and dying. I suspect, by the end of this MST, I'll have learned something from CrowBar that I didn't have before, especially since he's the one in charge this time around! For Sake of Continuity: In MTT3K (Mystery Turkish Theater 3000), It takes place after episode 204, in which was the final four parts of Neo-Scouts. For the sake of continuity as well, this takes place before Alexander gets on the SON and after he was on the SOL riffing X-Raider. Disclaimer: Anything related to MST3K is owned by Best Brains Inc. The Turks and everything of Final Fantasy belong to SquareSoft inc. Sailor Sun is owned by Dr.Thinker and he is welcome to it. I have his permission, so you may not flame the author nor I for this story. Thanks for having a great sense of humor, Dr.Thinker ^_^ Alexander Misamato belongs to Jamie 'Jolt' Jeans and he may be used with permission. Let's hope he survives this... SPECIAL NOTE: In this MSTing, there will be none of my commercials I usually make for MSTings. Sorry. I will do them next time, I promise! ________________________________________________________________________ CUE THE THEME! In the not to distant future, I'm not really sure when. Reno and the Turks went, On a Space Mission. But Rufus had a different plan, to trap them up there, man, And now the 3 are stuck up there, and they don't know what they are doing there. (Reno: HELLLPPPP USSS!!) (Rufus singing now) I'll send them stupid fanfics, the worst on this Earth, (La La La) They'll hafta sit and watch them all, and they'll want to be back on this turf. (La La La) (Return to original singers) Keep in mind they can't control, where the fanfic begins or ends. (La La La) And the only way to keep sanity, is to riff how bad fanfics can be... TURK ROLL CALL Cambot (We're live!) Elena (We must do this!) Rude (Don't call me baldy) REEENNNNOO (Allright, Baldy) If you are wondering how they got up there, without a descent rocket and other stuff. (La La La) Just repeat to yourself 'It's Just a show and It's really just fluff. For Mystery Turkish Theater 3000 [Guitar Twang] ____________________________________________________________________________ [Satellite of Shinra- Mind Room program CBDX-316-TTK] "Looks like it's... time to kill" said Elena, grabbing the pistol out of the holster on her side. Across the street was a strip joint, in which she had no intention of going in. She ran along the sidewalk, looking around each and every corner for the slightest thing moving. On the opposite side, she saw a car on the side of a building with a billboard for a movie with some female lizard above it. Traffic lights blinked red and yellow as she spotted along. She eventually got into one of the gaps beside the subway entrance and a small ally. She could hear the oinking of pig cops in the distance... Suddenly, she heard the swipe of footsteps on the pavement. She ducked down, just barely getting up to see who it was. The footsteps came closer, and closer, until she could see the black-solid shoes of the wearer. Finally, she could see the whole body, in a blue outfit, and a combat shotgun at hands. She gripped the Desert Eagle tighter, preparing to attack when the time was right. But before she could have done anything, the man fired back. His red hair glared in the light of the fire. Elena ducked down quick enough to dodge each of the bullets flying past her. She retorted with a combo of the semi-automatic blasts of the Eagle. One of them manage to hit the man in the shoulders before side-stepping, making him stagger to his knees. Elena walked towards the red-haired man, before blasting a hole in his chest. Another kill for the Woman Turk.... "Mind Room Program Heal Wounds" said Elena. As if by magic, all the wounds were healed from the man and he got up just fine. "Reno, you ok?" "Yeah... I'm fine." said Reno, who was the man. "I was surprised you did that though! I must be getting pretty bad at my shooting!" "Of course" Elena said, sarcastically. "Have you seen baldy lately?" asked Reno, still clutching the shotgun. Elena was about to pop open her mouth when a odd container went to her feet. Peering at it closer, she saw the words 'Warning' on them. She gulped. "RUN AWAY!" she yelled, almost in a Monty Pythonish voice. The pipebomb exploded by denotation and engulf the two Turks in a shockwave of explosions. END PROGRAM... [Outside of The Mind Room. Rude is doing a small victory dance] Rude: Allright, who's the man? Who's the man? Reno: Cheater... You used a freaking pipe bomb! All we had was shotguns and Desert Eagles! Rude: Yeah... but still. WHO'S THE MAN? Elena: Rude, Calm down. It's only a game. No biggie. Rude: So? I still beat the crap out of you! Elena: Don't worry, we'll beat you later for that... [Interrupting Rude's victory dance, The SOS suddenly shakes rapidly. Reno and Elena grab onto something, while Rude is thrown back by the shaking. When the shaking stops, Elena and Reno get up and helps up Rude] Reno: Who's the man NOW, Rude. Rude: Shut up, Reno. Just shut up. Elena: Cambot, Give us Rocket Number 7! [Rocket Number 7- A young man, who is about 17, is outside of the ship, knocking on the door. He is dressed in a pitch black bodysuit, which hugs and covers his slim, muscular frame nicely, and his eyes are blazing a pure white.] Reno: What the? There is no way a human soul could survive out there in space! [Rude walks over to a small control panel near The Mind Room gateway and hits a huge door that says 'Open Airlock'. For a couple of seconds, the air blows out quickly, causing the three Turks to hold on for their lives again. After that, the door shuts and everything returns to normal.] Elena: Well... That certainly sucked. Rude: Yeah... I wonder who that was? Reno: Looks like we are about to find out. [The three turks walk onto the main bridge. Near the airlock is the young man. You can see several icicles hanging off his body.] Man: Phew! A few more seconds out there and I would have been a goner! Reno: Uhh... You ok? Man: Yeah... I'm all right. [Looks at the Turks for a second] I still haven't reached the Satellite of Nitro yet, have I? Elena: Nope. Welcome to the Satellite of Shinra, anyway. Reno: You're close to it, though. It's above us a few kilometers, along with a couple of under-construction satellites and a busted MiR station. Elena: Nah... That thing finally went where the hubble did... Straight down. Rude: By the way, who are you? Man: Me? Oh, I'm Alexander Misamoto! Samantha's younger brother! Reno: Samantha Jones's brother? But... Alex: Same father, different mother. I seem to say that allot as of late. Rude: Well, we can understand that... I guess. Alex: What are you guys doing up here? Elena: Same reason as every other satellite. To watch bad fanfics and laugh at our so-called evil bosses. [Ironically, at this time, the MADs light flashes, indicating that Rufus is calling] Reno: And speaking of Rock and Roll... [Hits the MADs button] [Midgar 13- Heidegger is playing some game on a small TV Screen, while Rufus stands up front at the monitor] Rufus: Greetings, algae. How is the water today? [Suddenly noticing the newcomer] Huh? Who're you? [SOS Bridge] Alex: Well, I'm Alexander Misamato! [Midgar 13] Rufus: YOU'RE Alex Misamato? Hmm.. Dr. Forrester did mention a Alex in his daily newsletter to Mad Scientist everywhere [Holds up a copy of the report]. But I wonder how you got onto the ship even with our Plot Contrivance field on. [SOS Bridge] Alex: Well, that's pretty easy with my inner soul and all. [Midgar 13] Rufus: Hmm... Oh yeah. Crap. HEIDEGGER! [Heidegger runs up, carrying a dual shock controller in his hands] Heidegger: Yes sir? Rufus: How did this young man get through the Plot Contrivance Field? I thought we had protection from avatars trying to get in! Heidegger: Well, Rufus sir, I've just been playing MegaMan Legends all day. Rufus: And do you know where I last put the Plot Contrivance Materia, hmm? Heidegger: Uhh... Right beside the Playstation. Rufus: [grabs Heidegger's shirt] Because of your addiction to that game, the Plot Contrivance Materia probably was knocked off and powered down! What do you have to say for yourself? Heidegger: Umm.. H-H-Here. [Hands the Dual Shock Controller to Rufus] Rufus: Thank you, Heidegger. [Turns back to the Screen] So sorry about that, overcooked Turkeys, but I'm going to have to cut our chit-chat short for today. Your fic today is a real Thinker classic called 'Sailor Sun'. And it's a part of the NEO-SCOUTS TRILOGY! MWHAHAHA! Send them the fic, Heidegger. I'm going to be playing the game now. Heidegger: But I didn't get the chance to save it yet! Rufus: You dare to defy me, TV's Heidegger? Heidegger: Uhh... No. Not at all. Rufus: Well, send them the fic then! Heidegger: Oh! Right. [Hits the button] [SOS Bridge] Alex: Whoa, he's even weirder than Dr.Forrester... Rude: Yeah.. And he's only beginning. [The Klaxons flash and sound. Then the usual chaos ensures] Reno: Oh great. WE GOT THINKER SIGN!! [The 3 Turks enter the theater. Alex follows casually behind.] ---- [Door Sequence] [The 4 enter the theater] >This is a sequal to Sailor Moon: Neo-Scouts. [Pause] ALEX: Someone made a sequel to a Dr. Thinker series? Scary... RENO: The only fic that doesn't have the Neo-Scouts IN it for more than 15 lines! >I been thinking >adding a Sailor Sun to the team. RUDE: Great! Now they have enough senshi to make their own football team! ALEX: Wouldn't that be kinda hot, ya know having the sun so close... get it? Because she would be the sun and a member of the team... ah, forget it. >The team will have to handle >that 7 shadow warriors again. ELENA: Lo Wang? Since when did he duplicate himself? RENO: Burn crappy fic... Flames are getting higher! ALEX: Again? Oh no! The author's been influenced by Marvel and DC! Villains keep on coming back! >For the first 7 parts.. ALEX: One for each shadow, I guess. RENO: I will make you so confused that you would wish the Clinton Tapes were back on TV! RUDE: Not even a Thinker Fic would make us want that. >the name of >the person, DIC's or my own name, ALEX: Okay, so this is either names that the author is using for the cast or the names given to them by DiC... right? RENO: Uhh... I guess.. Guys, I'm scared. ELENA: Me too, Reno. Me too. RUDE: This fic has been DiC Certified... Or Butchered. However you want to say it. >will be used with their shadow >name, made up or real. ALEX: If anything guys, at least the author is giving us a nice selection! RENO: Made up Shadow names are in Aisle 5. Be sure to check out discount on Real Names today and today only. >Oh, suprizes are going to be instored for >you. ALEX: Ah, so the fanfic comes with all the plug-ins! That's nice. Saves you from heading out time and time again to get all those plug-ins. ELENA: Plug it in, Plug it in. >If you like it or don't you can E-MAIL is >WINKSTWO@SSSNET.COM. ALEX: That's not my e-mail address. RENO: Hey! I can wink too! ;-) See? RUDE: How did you do that? RENO: Trade Secret. I'd tell you, but then I'd have to call you baldy again. ALEX: Do you two always fight like this? RENO & RUDE: Yep! >If anyone wants to MiST this.they must us > for this. Get it! >Good! ALEX: Hmmm... we didn't *>* in order to MST this fanfic. Do you think we'll get in trouble? >All..expect Sailor Earth/Sarah/Princess Soroh, RUDE: No.. She just was getting drunk at the Anipike while the fic strolled by most of the time.. Or so I heard. ALEX: Poor Sarah... she gets passed over so much for all of the *good* Sailor Moon fanfics. >and the new >villains... ALEX: Whoo boy. Those are always fun. >are all copyrighted by DIC. ALEX: Who will forever line in infamy alongside companies such as Microsoft and Mcdonalds. >---------------------------------------------------------- ALEX: That's not how you send out the SOS in Morse code. RENO: I think they were *dashing* when they tried to send it out. ALEX: >Part I - Hercules/Akkron RUDE: How nice... The Hercules Crossovers have expanded past Xena now... ALEX: Sounds like a horribly mutated version of A-ko. >---------------------------------------------------------- ALEX: Oh! More lines! Cool! ELENA: So that's where all that Morse code from the Titanic went... >(We see Artemis and Luna beening casted by cats) RENO: CATS: The Movie. Directed By Oscar. ALEX: Don't you just hate it when you're walking along, minding your own business and you get casted by cats? Really ruins your day. ELENA: What if he meant CATS, as in the author? RUDE: Then Artemis and Luna would have been caught in a *Triangle Tangle* ALEX: 'Triangle Tangle'? What's that? ELENA: Trust me, Alex. You don't want to know. >Artemis: (Sarcamishing) ALEX: And the new word of the day is... RENO: Not even Deep Space 9 could decipher that... >Great! Of all the LUCK in the universe!! >Beening chase by cats. ALEX: Yeah! First you were beening casted by cats and now *beening* chased by cats! Should've stayed in bed. RUDE: So, if you don't join Cats, they chase you down? RENO: Yeah... Executives these days.... >Luna: (Matter-Of-Factly) You always chased me around back on the >Moon Kindgom. But I always out smart you! ELENA: Could you just shut up about your damn SAT score, Luna? Just for one day... ALEX: I'm not sure what to be more afraid of... the fact that Luna is remaining so calm in the face of so many casting cats or that Artemis used to chase her around in the Moon Kingdom. RENO: Prozac, my friend. It helps ease the pain. ALEX: I thought that was Tylenol. RENO: No... Ask Dr.Tofu. He knows. >(A white flash. ALEX: AHHH!!! My eyes! >On top of a wall stands Hercules. RENO: Kevin Sorbo? RUDE: And on the bottom of the wall stands a endless amount of girls.. Well, until Leonardo Di Crapio comes.... ALEX: I take it you don't like Dicappuchino much, do you? >The cat looks >at her jealously as the other cats..expect Artemis run away) ALEX: Run away! RUDE: [looks at his watch] Ok, we're timing you, Artemis! The longer you can hold out from running away, the better! >Artemis: Who is that? ALEX: I'm Batman. ELENA: MAH GOD! It's Hercules! And he's on the top wall! This will definitely change around the match here tonight. >Luna: That was Hercules, he was one of the Seven Shadow Warriors! RENO: Somewhere, Lo Wang is beating the crap out of a pillow. ALEX: Uh, actually he was a carrier of one of the rainbow crystals... >Artemis: I wonder if we going to see all the Shadow Warriors >again? ALEX: Yeah! You know those villains, always showing up and saving your butt before unleashing a horrible plot to take over the world! Darn their hides! RUDE: I wonder if I'm sensing foreshadowing? Maybe it's just the catnip I had earlier... >----------------------------------------------------------------- ALEX: Maybe if we started sending out the SOS correctly, people will hear us... RENO: That's only a part of the fic, Alex. ALEX: Well, it's always good to hope, right? [smiles] >(Un-known to either Luna or Artemis, RUDE: We secretly put the aroma of catnip around Hercules body. Let's watch and see how they react... ALEX: I saw those two hyped up on catnip once. Not a pretty sight... >the King, a white hair name >in a toga.. ELENA: Ok... First Toga chant from anyone will cause a immediate smack down on him. RENO: Are you going to show them the people's eyebrow too? [The 3 stare at Reno.] RENO: What? ALEX: The fact that you just ripped off the Rock is a good first clue. >namely Shadow..King Shadow of the Nega-Verse) ALEX: Okay, all of these people were clueless, but what didn't they know? RENO: How did Shadow get in this fic? RUDE: Maybe feeding Interceptor cost a little too much for him. >King Shadow: So, Beryl did not get the Sliver Imperium Crystral!! ALEX: Well, duh! If she did, then the first season of Sailor Moon would have been screwed over pretty good. ELENA: That definitely deserves a round of 'Duh'. ALL: DUH! >But I will reuse the Seven Shadows. RENO: It's the reusable shadows! Just use them, rinse them, and use them again! ALEX: Even though they have no powers, he'll still use them. It makes no sense really! >This is a powerful version of >the Sun Crystral..called the Black Sun Crystral... ELENA: Hmm.. I should really upgrade my crystal. I'm still using The Yellow Sun Crystal... ALEX: Isn't that name something like screaming silently or starring blindly? >Queen Melita >become the God of Jealousy and was drestory. ALEX: Who was this Melita? Queen Beryl's sister? RUDE: Just smile and nod, Alex. ALEX: Does it help to smile and nod? RUDE: Not really, but it's fun to say! >Darius, you get >first try! ALEX: I will get a higher score in Star Fox... >(We see a yellow robot) ALEX: Crow? What are you doing here?! RENO: First it's Shadow, now it's Crow T. Robot! Who will be forced in this fic next? ALEX: If big sister shows up... >Darius: At you command, sir!!! ALEX: Somewhere out there in cyberspace, there's an r crying for it's friends. >(Darius dissappears) ELENA: Along with the spellchecker. >----------------------------------------------------------------- >(Un-know to either Shadow or Darius, ALEX: Eliot Ness and his men were speeding towards Capone's hideout. >another person is watching >them, with in the Sun's Core) ALEX: AHHHHHH!!! HOT HOT HOT HOT!!! RUDE: Ah... some poor soul is waiting to Jupiter-2 to fly through the sun. He must REALLY want their autograph. >Melita: I must tell my daughter.... Princess Meta. RENO: And don't forget her sister, Lica. RUDE: There is only one Rice Krispie Treat left! I must tell her! ALEX: No! It's mine I tell you... MINE!!! >To bad, she was >punish by Queen Serenity, for my attack.. ALEX: So your daughter took the blame for your attack on Serenity. You're not a very nice mother! What are you going to do next? Appear on Jerry Springer? >and remanded at age 14. RUDE: Hmm.. Well, I know that Teenagers DEMAND when they're 14, but I never thought they *REMAND*. ELENA: Sure. Just ask any parent on the planet. ALEX: My parents are very far away... *sniff* >To bad, she would have get control of the Sun Kindgom, if she was >turn 16. ALL: Sweet sixteen. >(We see Melita enter a yellow skin body) RUDE: Looks like someone got a serious sunburn. RENO: Well, they ARE on the Sun... ALEX: Ahh!!! All along Melita, twisted clone of Queen Beryl, has been one of the banana's in pajamas!!! ELENA: Oh great... Any minute now, little idiotic bears will come running into the fic... >-------------------------------------------------------------- ELENA: I didn't know bacteria went into single line formations... >(Sun Place) ALEX: OW! Hot hot hot hot hot!!! RENO: Just curious, but why are they in a Suntan Place? I mean, they don't need to get any more sunburned. >Princess Meta: ALEX: Along with her sister MSTing. >Why did do to been keep at this age in the sun. ALEX: Well, it would include allot of sunblock... RENO: [Looks at Alex] I can't believe you could actually decipher that... ALEX: [holding head] It wasn't easy... >I >wish to be a Sailor Sun RUDE: Well, she's on a star, and she's wishing! Ha ha.. get it, guys? Ehh... Never mind. ALEX: I wanna be a star, star, star... Wanna see my, name up in lights! >Voice: That can be arrange!!!!! ELENA: Oh boy.. The voices in Meta's head are acting up again. RENO: Either that, or Nabiki has decided to start selling Fuku Outfits... ALEX: She's been selling them for a good deal at the Anipike... >Princess Meta: Mother, Queen Melita? It is YOU that I like this! RENO: Ok... let me get this straight. Meta is being forced to like something by her mother, but she likes it anyway... Oww.. Everything's starting to get all dizzy.... ELENA: Don't try to think, Reno. You'll only hurt yourself. ALEX: So she's like Queen Melita? That would explain the bad grammar. It's heredity. >Melita: I want to make Serenity...sorry! RENO: Cut! Nono... Shatner doesn't talk like that. Pause EVERY other word now, ok? ALEX: You want to make something for Serentiy? How nice! But you're a bit late, she's been dead for a thousands years. >But Kingdom Shadow of >the >Nega-Verse is up to something!!!!!!! ALEX: Which I still find kind of impossible considering that the Negaverse was blown up at the end of Season 1. RENO: So the whole kingdom of Shadow's is up to a evil plan? RUDE: Hey, they did that with that Blue Town in Earthbound, so why not? >The basement here contains a >stone which you can use to become a sailor suits.. ALEX: But how does changing into a piece of clothing help you? RENO: There's a basement in the sun? Uhh... Never mind. I don't want to know... >and I have ask >your ladies in waiting to make Earthing clothes to hiding your >Sun-skin. ELENA: What? Look, it don't matter what kind of clothes you wear, you'll just look like those bananas in pajamas... but with different clothing on. RENO: Next on Hard Copy, we go to the secret sweatshops on the Sun... ALEX: Our reporters went deep undercover, applying sunblock to themselves daily in order to keep from burning up. >Princess Meta: Serenity's prisiom as to be turned into a >humaniod.. ALEX: So the whole prison is turning into a person? RENO: Just smile and nod, Alex. ALEX: It doesn't really work... >every since Sun Kindgom.. >but they will have red hair >and yellow eyes. ALEX: *whew* Oh good. For a moment there, I thought it was gonna be a lookalike of my sister. ELENA: Maybe JP merged your sister and Ryoko... Ryoko has yellow eyes... RUDE: Maybe we should stop breaking the 4th wall, Elena... ELENA: Sorry. ALEX: Hmmm... Samantha and Ryoko... we would have either Soko or Ryotha... >Melita: Ok! You can help, the Moon Princess, Serena as Sailor >Sun. ALEX: And you can start with placing the comas in the correct positions. ELENA: Hmm... I didn't know you could Shatner Talk with commas instead of periods... >Oh, your name will be Messila Stateton, the same last name >as RENO: The Sun Place must also be home to the National Witness Protection Program.. ALEX: Maxfield... poor guy must be rolling over in his grave right now... if he had one. >Princess Meta: Nephrite's fake name! Good! I just I'm Maxfield's >genius daughter, from American. ALEX: No, you're gonna pretend to be American, you're *from* America. >I take over Nephrite's masion RENO: I didn't know that Meta was secretly working for Remax. ALEX: No! You leave that poor guy alone! He has enough problems studying for college and trying to confess his love to the women he loves! >and >invite the Scouts to a party when I feel like the emeny is no >more!!!! ALEX: You ever get the feeling that the spellchecker got about halfway through this, got fed up, said the heck with it, and left? >Melita: Good!!! In order to turn into Sailor Sun, shouted "Sun >Stone Activion!!!".. ALL: CREATED SENSHI... MAKE UP!!! RENO: Oh boy. Crono's going to get so pissed when he hears where the Sun Stone actually went.... >You will have third attacks!!! ALEX: Eww! Oh, that said third. Heh. My bad. >Each attack is >different. I will send you..imitined to Earth. ALEX: Hopefully first class. They don't give you enough of those honey roasted peanuts in second class. RENO: Yeah.. It seems that Honey Roasted Peanuts are the ancient survival gear for airplanes. ALEX: Do you guys have any? I'm hungry. >I have >arrange..throw left over youmas to add info on your idenity and >some fake information about Nephrite's Maxfield Stateton. ALEX: So she's got a legion of Youma spies. Cool! RENO: Oh ree yo... yo.. Oh ree yo... yo.... RUDE: Why are you talking about a famous sandwich cookie? RENO: Never mind... ALEX: Now I'm *really* hungry... >You >have complent all the Schools...college was complentent by age >13. ALEX: Wow! She learns fast! RENO: Either that, or she sucked up to her teachers BIG TIME. >I will make up a yellow cat to be follow you...around...as >Sol. ALEX: But what the heck does the Satellite of Love have to do with this? RENO: People who name their cats after famous ships, next on Montel. ELENA: And this is my little persian Titanic! Say hello to the audience now! >(Meltia turns into a yellow cat. RUDE: Well... That's new. A cat that's sunburned. RENO: They told her not to get even close to the suntan place, and look what happens! ALEX: And she wasn't even wearing sunblock. >{Ed. Note: From now on. Meltia >will be called Sol}.) RUDE: And if you look in her eyes, you can almost see Mike and the bots at the controls. >Metia: Find by me! ALEX: Find what? You're not being very specific. >Lady: We have finish you... RUDE: Your arms and legs were pretty easy, but making the head and chest took some time. ELENA: Well, at least there wasn't a hentai joke here. >humans clothes...yellow sneakers, >yellow shorts, yellow shirt, and sunglasses to hide your yellow >eyes! ALEX: Hey guys, do you think she likes yellow? RUDE: The Yellow Look, by Tommy Hilfiger. >(Meltia takes the clothes from the Lady. RENO: Waitaminute... Since when did Sable make yellow clothing? ELENA: Bad mental image, Reno. ALEX: Sable? [blushes] > Lady goes outside the >place and steps on a transporter) RENO: See Lady. See Lady run. See Lady run out of fanfic. Good Lady. ALEX: Be sure to have that back by five. The crew of the Enterprize wants that back. >Trasporter Keeper: Where do you want to land? RUDE: India. I need to get more clothes from Nike! ALEX: Where do you want to go to today? >Lady: The Ruins of the Moon Kingom! ALEX: But Sailor Moon doesn't live there. ELENA: Hmm... That's sad. The Lady must be forced to scavenge yellow clothes from the ruins. RENO: It sure beats being in a crappy fanfic. ALEX: Well, you have to take what jobs come your way or else go broke. >------------------------------------------------------------ RUDE: Damn! Those potholes are getting pretty bad. >(The Ruins of Moon Kindgom. The Lady turns into Queen Serenity) >Queen Serenity: I hope that Meta can stop King Shadow!!!!! RUDE: Oww! Someone wants to hear their echo in the ruins... RENO: Even though I know it's going to happen because she's a avatar, but still I hope she wins! >In the >meantime!!! ALEX: Ah! So all along, the lady was Queen Serenity! [blinks] I'm gone... I have no idea why this is so. >-------------------------------------------------------------- ALEX: On the road again. >(Hided Forrester Manor) ALEX: Darn you Dr. Forrester! I'll never forgive you for X-Raider! RENO: Hmm... X-Raider? That explains the screams coming from the Satellite of Love. ALEX: Memories... flooding mind... can't... repress... >Messila: Sol! When walk..please be quicky..act like a cross >between Artemis and Luna.... ALEX: Arrogant and smart? >Sol: Are you out of your mind? ALEX: Wow! A complete sentence! Could someone take a picture of this? [Elena snaps a picture] RUDE: It's a Kodak Moment! >Messila: Ok! But reveal my true name, and I reveal your!!!!! ALEX: Reveal what? Come on, don't leave the audience in suspense. ELENA: Don't ask these two then... They'll give you the wrong answer. RENO & RUDE: Hey! ALEX: Okay... got it Elena. >Sol: Ok! RENO: Insert 'I have no free will' joke here and save! >---------------------------------------------------------------- (We see Darius landing in the middle of the traffic jam as Hercules run it) ALEX: So Darius is standing around in the middle of the street while Hercules is trying to direct it... [winces] Oww, I gave myself a headache. >--------------------------------------------------------------- (Raye's Temple) RENO: You will all bow down before the magnificent Rei! BOW BEFORE ME MORTALS! ELENA: Well, it IS Rei's Temple... (We see all of the Scouts, expect the Outer Scouts) ALEX: Probably because they haven't been DiCed yet... poor gals... that's yet to come. Radio: A mechical monster appear in the city of the traffic jam on Cherry Hill Street. The roboticial monster is attacking a blue cat.... ALEX: Yes! Blue cats *are* the evils of society! Attack, attack! RENO: Maybe it's not attacking the cat. Maybe he just wants to pet it real hard... it changing into a crossbetween blue-skin BIGFOOT and MR.T, RENO: Oh that is a nice scene... Bigfoot and Mr.T fused together. ELENA: Someone call the A-Team. RUDE: (Bigfoot ala Mr.T) Whatcha talkin' 'bout, 'foo? I just wanna get this Lara girl offa my back! Do I make myself clear? ALEX: No... memories... no more... X-Raider... calling itself...Akkron!! IT'S A MONSTER!!! I wonder if the Sailor Scouts are coming!!! ALEX: Setup. RENO: Man... This is about as predictable as a lemon. ALEX: [blushes] I hope we don't get one of those... Serena: They are!!! MOOOOOOON CRYSTRAL POWER!!!!!!! RENO: Usagi: Official Sponser of Kraft Cheese. Amy: MERCURY STAR POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALEX: *sigh* Sailor Mercury... *happy sigh* [Reno starts writing something down on a small notepad.] ELENA: What are you doing? RENO: Just writing stuff I'm sure Nabiki will like. [Elena snatches the notepad and throws it into a plot hole] RENO: HEY! ELENA: Just doing you a favor from the interest charges, Reno... ALEX: I owe you one, Elena. Raye: MARS STAR POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lita: JUTIPER STAR POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mina: VENUS STAR POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sarah: EARTH STAR POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RENO: [Holding ears] OWW MY EARS POWER! ALEX: The heck?! When did Sarah show up? And who is she? ------------------------------------------------------------- ALEX: For all who want to stop this fanfic. Please sign on the dotted line. RENO: We'll definitly run out of room. ELENA: We'll definitely run out of all our ink cartridges as well. RUDE: And you know how much we are going to get our ass kicked for that joke... ALEX: Oh, Dr. Thinker knows we're just kidding around. He won't take offense. >(Wood Manor) ALEX: Well, it's gotta be made out of something. >Radio: That Monster almost chip by wings!!!! >Sol: IT IS TIME FOR SAILOR SUN!!! RUDE: Great! Then we can watch Jerry Springer and Star Trek once that is over with! ALEX: Are you sure now? The time for Sailor Sun could come later. RENO: It's time for Sailor Sun... It Sailor Sun time.... >Messila: Right! SUN STONE POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALEX: WONDER TWIN POWERS ACTIVATE!!! [Elena bows her head in silence] RUDE: What are you doing? ELENA: Giving a moment of silence for the brave exclamation points in this fic. >------------------------------------------------------------- >(Darius is with Akkron) ALEX: And they make such a nice couple too... OTHERS: Awww.... >Akkron: Do you think that Sailor Scouts, are going to wipe that >smile off your face? ALEX: Of course they are. He's the Youma of the day. RENO: [Holding his head] Bad mental image. VERY bad mental image. RUDE: Well, their bill will DEFINITLY wipe the smile off someone's face. ELENA: Baka.... >Darius: Not me! But you, may be! ALEX: What exactly is he? Can you see? Could it be? Forever serving tea? RENO: It's Rhyming day on the Satellite of Shinra! >Akkron: Stop pulling my legs, ALEX: They're long enough as it is. RENO: The Senshi: Masters of medieval torture equipment. >no one is the King of Animals, >other them me! ELENA: How nice. A Bad guy with a southern accent. RUDE: Y'All wanna see them other animals? Well, ok. But remember I'm the King of Animals! Yee-haw! > Hide out! And watch me! ALEX: Brilliant strategy. Hide the Youma of the day and let the General fight. RENO: Welcome the next George Washington to the Idiot Club of Enemies. >Darius: Don't worry, I will hide out! ALEX: In that cafe over there. They serve some killer sundae's. >(Darius ducks into alleyway as voice is heard from top of a >building. >Akkron sees five female shapes, RENO: And immediately begins gawking. > in the follow order, >Venus, Jutiper, ALEX: Twisted clone of Jupiter. >Earth, Mars, Mercury, and Moon. Moon steps >forword) RUDE: And crashes right into the Earth, causing Armageddon and a Nuclear Ice Age. RENO: Wrong Moon, Rude. >Moon: Back for some more, ancient demons! ELENA: Not a word, you two. RENO & RUDE: What? >I'm Sailor Moon, he >champion of Justice. ALEX: Ack! Sailor Moon's a hemophrodite! RENO: Either that or Sailor Moon admits that Darien is better than her. RUDE: He's the champion of justice! He is! >I will fight wrongs and trumiph over evil!! >In the name of the Moon, I will punish you!!!! That means >you!!!!! ALEX: Got the speech right. ELENA: Sorry, Sailor Moon, but we are already being punished. Sorry for the inconvenience. ALEX: This is punishment? >Akkron: Get a life, Sailor Sap!! RENO: They're on sale at K-Mart for $4.99. They work real good when trying to get dates. >I'm Akkron, Champion of Nega- >Verse!!!! You can't heal me or drestory me!!! ALEX: Dre story sucks. RUDE: I'm invincible! ALEX: And look what happened after he said that. ELENA: If Akkron gets into the AAA, he sounds like he would be pure trouble. RENO: Well, he IS about as annoying as that Joesph guy... >Moon: We see about that! Moon Scepter Elimation!! RUDE: I've always wondered about that attack. Why would anyone want to eleminate their Scepter? ELENA: Maybe she use a cheap brand of batteries that causes her to eleminate them. But that's my guess. >(Akkron gets hit..but wabbles back up) ALEX: Wow, he must be really tough to get back up from that attack. RENO: Oh my god! Akkron is secretly Kane! ELENA: Where's Mark when you need him? ALEX: He's on the other satellite I need to get to. >Darius: They are in a PILE of TROUBLE BEANS!!!! ALEX: Hey! You leave that good Sailor Moon author out of this! >Hope >Akkron does run out!!!!! ALEX: And why the heck are you thinking this? He's the one fighting the Scouts, not you. RUDE: Run out of what? Fuel? Bullets? Ego? RENO: I like the last one best. >Akkron: THAT'S WAS NOT FUNNY!! DARIUS!!!!! ALEX: So he's telepathic. This isn't good if he's going to be in the next AAA. RENO: Now go to your room and think about what you thought about! >(To the >Scouts) YOU WILL BE DRESTORY!!! ALEX: I said it before, I'll say it again, dre story sucks. ELENA: Well, at least he isn't 'sending people to another dimension'. >(Another female appears behind him) ALEX: Wraps her arms around his stomach and performs a flawless back bodyslam! >Moon: Hey! Cat-Face! RUDE: I brought some Fresh Step for you! ELENA: Shameless Product Plug No.... Aw hell, I lost count. ALEX: Lost count? You haven't done one yet... >Akkron: (Madly) What? >Moon: Some un-know Scout is behind you!! RENO: And she's selling those Chocolete Cookies! RUDE: Oo! Oo! Do they still have the Devil ones? >Akkron: I not follow that famous trick trap!!!!!!!!!! >(Sun kicks Akkron down) ALEX: Boo! She's interfering! Throw the match, ref, throw the match! >Sun: You should KNOW by now that SCOUT do not lie!!!! RUDE: Yeah, you're just backstabbers. >Akkron: SUCK! ALEX: Eww! RENO: No no.. You gotta get it right, Akkron. It's 'Suck it', not 'Suck'! ELENA: Degeneration X: Proud Sponser of this Thinker fic. ALEX: As long as it isn't what I thought it was, it's okay. >Since the seven of all shadow... ALEX: I really didn't like either of those movies. Seven was too dark and bloody while the Shadow didn't have enough action. >I will low to >return me back to that blue cat.. RENO: You know, the one that is a evil to society. RUDE: I can just imagine several church groups trying to ban blue cats just now. >Her-what is name is. ELENA: Hercules... but with no relation to Kevin Sorbo. >Sun: Good! >Moon: Who are you? RUDE: I'm Batman. ELENA: I'm just your average avatar ready to take over the Sailor Senshi... D'OH! Spoke out loud again! >Sun: The name is Sailor Sun..That cat over they is Sol, my >guardian. ALEX: She houses a human and two robots who watch bad movies most of the time... >Moon: I don't have my wand to turn him back!!! RENO: Well, you DID eleminate your wand, Usagi. ALEX: Turn him back into what? ELENA: Beats me. But I wonder if she can turn him front also.. RUDE: Very lame, Elena. ELENA: Hey, you guys get to do those riffs all the time. Why not I? >Sun: Oh, great!! ALEX: D'OH!!! >Mars: You have your crystral...it healed the Four Sisters of >Nega-Moon. ALEX: So this takes place after Sibling Rivalry... but after the end of the third season? Uh, I'm confused. RUDE: Poor kid... he's even more confused than us. ALEX: And then it... uh... but it was after.. eh... [scratches head] >Moon: You are rights, Mars, for a change!! MOOOOOOOON CRYSTRAL >HEALING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >Sun: I been see you!! >Moon: See you around!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALEX: AHH!!! My ears!!! RENO: Well, there goes the last of the exclamation points. I'm sure they're happy, wherever they are. Right next to the Dodo, I think. >---------------------------------------------------- >(Raye's Temple) ALEX: Otherwise known as the Scouts own batcave. >Artemis: What happen? ELENA: We arrived, gave our speeches, healed a bad guy, meet another Sailor Scout... you know, same old, same old... ALEX: I think the Scouts are stuck in a rut. >Moon: We fight the Seven Warrior, RENO: The Seven Warrior. Evil Enemy of the Scouts and winner of the 'Lucky 7 Jackpot' in Las Vegas. > the Cat One, namely..Hercules >again...this time he talk!!!!! RUDE: And he cussed us out for not giving him enough money for his performance before! >Thanks to Sailor Sun, we make sure >we wasn't in too BIG of a CAT FIGHT!!! ALEX: Oh man... bad pun... RENO: That wasn't a cat fight! Now, Nuku Nuku vrs. Shampoo would be a sweet cat fight, but... ALEX: Hentai!!! [Elena starts snickering] >(Artemis and Luna gets sweat-drops and facefaults) ALEX: Now *that's* got to hurt. ELENA: Order your sweat-drops and facefaults today and we'll throw in a free emoticon! >----------------------------------------------------------------- > >(Nephrite's Wood Manor) ALEX: Meanwhile, at stately Wayne Manor... >Sol: You did a HOT job... ALEX: I'm not sure what's worst... the bad spelling or the bad puns. RENO: Neither... The bad mental images I keep getting are the worst... ALEX: Well, maybe if you didn't have such a dirty mind, you wouldn't keep getting them. >keep it up..and we been back in >HIGHLIGHTS like the MOON QUEEN!!! ALEX: But Serenity is dead. RUDE: Yes, once we get in that Children's Magazine, we will be in the stars again! >Messila: Thanks you, Sol! I think they are 6 shadow left? ALEX: Whoa whoa whoa whoa!!! What the heck did they do to Hercules, anyhow? ELENA: Well, this is the daily ritual where they get rid of a avatar quickly. He should be getting high on catnip right about now... ALEX: At least he wasn't hurt. >Sol: Yes! 1 down..6 to go! ALEX: I can't come up with anymore Satellite of Love jokes, guys. You got any? RENO: Nope... All I can think of is a Gypsy joke that wouldn't fit. ALEX: HENTAI!!! [smacks Reno] RENO: Oww! That wasn't what I meant! ELENA: Yeah Reno. Whatever. >Messila: I can't wait to show off my human body to the Sailor >Scout's serect indienties! ALEX: Ack! It's gonna turn into a lemon! RENO: If Thinker turns this into a lemon, I am shooting myself out of the airlock. >----------------------------------------------------------- >End of Part I ALEX: Best part of the fanfic. RENO: Actually... That's when we *LEAVE*. >Next Time: When Father Boxer..asked the Scouts and Messila for >help at his church....Darius ruins that carvinal..when he going >hurting for the Voltro. RENO: Check your local listings for time and day! ALEX: Okay... the church Minister asks for help but Darius ruins it... got it... kind of... Help me... >Part 2 - Father Boxer/Voltro, the Vulture. ALEX: Can we leave now? Please? ELENA: Yeah... We'll let Voltro here scavenge the remains. [The 4 exit.] ------------------ [Door Sequence in Reverse] [SOS Bridge- Reno, Rude, and Alex are all on the bridge] Alex: So, that was Dr.Thinker, huh? Reno: Yeah... That's like his second fanfic too... Rude: And you've heard of Thinker, right kid? Alex: Yeah. This guy named Kali came to the Anipike and told me a little about Thinker. It's even worse than he pictured it. Reno: Oh. [Looks around] Hey... Where's Elena? Rude: I don't know. Alex, you? Alex: I saw her walk off that way to some room. [Points behind him] [From the way Alex is pointing, Elena jumps onto the Bridge, startling the three. She is wearing a Japanese School outfit with a blue fuku and a red bow tie on as well.] Rude: What the...? Elena: How do you like it? [Alex looks like he is on the edge of a nosebleed. Reno nods his head in approvingly.] Reno: Uhh.. Nice! How did you even find one in space anyway? Elena: Well, being trapped up here with nothing but Sailor Moon fanfics made me put on a fuku and become Sailor Elena! Besides, it IS my nature to do whatever I tell myself or is ordered.... Rude: Yeah, we know that. Now, how did you find the suit, as Reno asked? Elena: I found this box in the lower deck and it was full of costumes from some company named 'Crow's Costume of the Month Club' on it. [Looks at Alex holding his hands over his nose] What's with him? Reno: [Looks at Alex] I guess it's the altitude up here. Elena: Oh. Anyway, I'll be right back. [She walks back the direction she came from] [Reno manages to make a hentaish (Is that even a word?) smile, as Rude just stares in shock. Alex has finally overcome his close encounter with the nosebleed kind and gets back into the conversation.] Alex: I didn't know it was THAT soon that someone could crack up in space. Reno: [getting out of hentai land] No... She's just having a little bit of fun. But, wasn't that outfit too tight on her? [Goes back to hentai mode] Rude: Yeah.. I wouldn't mind her staying in that outfit for a while. [Rude smiles. Alex then goes back to nosebleed land and runs off the stage] Reno: [looking at where Alex went off to] He has a lot to learn, doesn't he? Rude: Lots. [The MADs light flashes.] Reno: I wonder what Dracula and Priest Shaft want now? [Hits button] [Midgar 13- Rufus is standing in the foreground. Heidegger is nowhere in site.] Rufus: Hello, my not-so-secret police. I trust that you enjoyed the fic today! Shut up. Anyhoo, I just read my reports on how you are reacting towards the fics I sent you.. Not good. Not good at all. Vince Mcmahon is ahead of me by about 3 points ahead of me. And that doesn't look good in my record. So, when I send you a fic, you are going to be fearful and suicidal, hmm? [SOS Bridge] Reno: Uhh.. Yeah.. Sure.. Whatever. Rude: Whatever you say, Rufus. [Rolls his eyes] [Midgar 13] Rufus: Great! See, I CAN make my subjects fear and dipise me! MWHAHA! Oh wait.. They were already like that before... Damn. Well, Push the button, Heidegger. Heidegger? [Looks around] Where did that idiot go to now? [Rufus slams his fist down on the button in anger.] \ / \ / \ / O FWOOOSH!! / \ / \ / \ Rufus: Aww man... ________________________________________________________________________ [Feel free to hum the Turks Theme] E-mail CrowBar at: MakoReno@aol.com E-mail Jolt!!! at: xwing@uniserve.com [MSN Hotmail- find out more!] ---------------------------------------------------------------- © 1996-1998 Hotmail. All Rights Reserved. [Contact Us|Help]