Hello to all in the MiSTing realm! Once again, we are here with the fourth installment of Sailor X. Number four, and this strange entity known as Sailor X is still nowhere to be seen. Seriously, though, I am starting to get warmed up to this fic. It's the first fic I've MiSTed that is actually going somewhere. That IS supposed to be something of a complement... no, really, it is. Enough hole-digging-myself-into-ing! Let's get started! ============================================================= SAILOR X, EPISODE FOUR MiSTed by Michael O'Hare, the official Ernesto 'Che' Guevara look-alike of SVAM ============================================================= _*_ Magical Girl Fic Theatre 3000, show 108, Reel One... (6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Dog Bone) In a not so distant future, Somewhere in Deep 13, Dr. Forrestor and TV's Frank, Were forming a wicked scheme. They found an otaku named Mike O'Hare. The oddest guy you could find anywhere. Their experiment needed a good test case, So they whacked him on the head and then they shot him into space. ("I THOUGHT you two looked familiaaaaaaarr!!!") We'll send him cheesy fanfics, The worst we can find. (La La La!) He'll have to sit and read them all, He'll lose the rest of his mind. (La La La!) Now keep in mind Mike can't control how long the fanfics last, (La La La!) He's trying to save his sanity with the help of the magical girl cast. (cast character roll call!) Yohko! ("108 generations!") Sasami! ("I cook all the time!") Athena! ("Yattah!") REEEEEEEEEEIIIIII! ("I sense something evil!") Now you're wondering how they eat and breathe, and other science facts. (La La La!) Just repeat to yourself "I'm not up there, I should really just relax." For Magical Girl Fic Theatre 3000! (Guitar Twang.) (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Dog Bone) The bridge of the Satellite Of Bacon (SOB) was empty, save for a small metal box on the table, and some angered voices offscreen. Just then, Rei Hino walked onto the bridge, with a rather upset look upon her face. As she entered, the 'Da-dada-dada-da' theme from the old MST film 'Danger: Death Ray' started up. She looked down at the box, before noticing the camera. "Oh, hello, everyone," she said. "You're probably wondering why this music's playing. Well, we were working on an invention that would give people their own theme songs, but all it can do is give you theme songs from MST films." Just then, the 'Danger: Death Ray' theme was replaced by Mitchell's car chase theme, as Yohko Mano walked onto the bridge. "This is getting out of hand," she said. "I'm starting to get a craving for beer and lying around." "That's strange," Rei said, "it isn't supposed to affect you that deeply." "I'm afraid it does," Athena Asamya said as she walked onscreen. As she did, the Rowsdower theme from The Final Sacrifice suddenly came on. "I just bought a broken down truck and a pair of acid washed jeans." "This is bad," Rei said, "but at least it's not as bad as what Mike's got." "What does he have?" Athena asked. As if on cue, Michael O'Hare trudged onscreen, and The Pumaman's theme suddenly blared on. "This stinks," Mike said, "I've been smashing Mannequin heads left and right, and I have this unstoppable urge to have an Aztec to all my work for me while I hang from a wire like an idiot." "Well," Rei said, still looking over the box, "at least Sasami's unaffected." Just then, Torgo's theme started, as Sasami rushed onto the bridge, crying in fear. "Please help me!" she wept. "I don't want big knees!" Suddenly, every single theme song started blaring at top volume. "I can think of a way to fix this damn thing," Yohko yelled angrily. "We'll be right back," Rei said as she tapped on the button and began advancing on the box. {MGFT3K Planet Logo} {And now, a word from our non-existant sponsor} NEW, from the makers of Cobra In A Bag and Rat In a Box! It's the coolest toy to hit the stores! Yes, it's Leech In A Cup! Be the first in your neighborhood to drink a glass of water with a large, disease-infested leech in it! You'll have loads of fun as you try to rip it off of your tongue! From Deep 13 DEEP 13: We're just asking to get sued now! {And now, despite repeated requests, back to our show!} As Yohko brought her sword down on the box one final time, it sputtered and died. The cacophony of theme songs followed suit. "There," she said, "that's what I call fixed." "Thank goodness," Sasami said, relieved. "I don't think I could have stood dressing like Torgo." "Speaking of unbearable," Athena said, motioning towards the button, "the bad guys are calling." "What's up, Evil Underpants?" Mike asked as he tapped the button." Down in Nod's Evil Twisted Phyrexia Number Thirteen (NETPNT), a humongous mass of pies could be seen filling the room, as the villains were cramming things into them. "Oh, hello there, boobies," Dr. Forrester said, waving casually at the camera. "It turns out that if you load these Evil Pies of ours with some random object, they get an odd little quirk." "For instance," Calypso interjected, "or experiment today is the result of an Evil Pie-Rhinestone glove mix." Calypso picked up one of the pies and set it on a cart in front of the camera. Immediately, the pie sprouted little arms, legs, and a tiny hat, and started dancing to 'Thriller' which was coming from some unseen source. The pie then finished his dance with a crotch grab (where its crotch would have been), and reverted into a pie. "We're still considering a Pie-Dr. Laura cross, but we have other things to go with first. Well, my little muffin tops?" The crew of the SOB shook their heads in disbelief. "It's kind of weird how they can take something so evil," Sasami said, "and make it so dumb." "As for our invention," Athena said, lifting the shattered remains of the box, "it needs work." "Stupid??" Forrester yelled. "I'll have you know that a long, detailed thought process goes into what we combine with the pies, and-" Forrester was suddenly interrupted by Dr. Evil yelling. "We have successfully combined a pie with Liberace." The entirety of Nod's Evil Twisted Phyrexia Number Thirteen (NETPNT) was suddenly filled with piano music. Forrester did not bother to comment, and simply hit the button. "Your fic's Chapter Four of Sailor X! Enjoy!" he said bitterly. "I would have liked having the Pumaman's theme song," Sasami said. "Then," Mike replied, "you can have this belt I made." Suddenly, the sirens and klaxons went off. "That'll have to wait," Rei said, "We've got SAILOR X SIGN!!!" (Dog bone, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...) SASAMI: So, why did I get the Torgo theme, anyway? MIKE: It was totally random. Do you think I wanted what I got? ATHENA: Well, you did make that belt. MIKE: Hey, it's a nice belt. > > > Episode 4 MIKE: A New Hope. REI: You've been wanting to use that riff ever since this series started, haven't you? MIKE: Yup. > > The Magical Kingdom ATHENA: This had better not be a Disney crossover. > > Release Date: 01/11/97 - written by Jim MIKE: ...Fix. > >The episode starts with Mina running down the street, she is running fast, you can tell she is in a hurry. ALL: >Mina looks back >then looks all around her. MIKE: Minako Aino IS Richard Kimble In Steve Prefontaine Story! REI: Let's not start that up again. >he quickly turns street corners. She zig zags threw the crowd. YOHKO: So, a tiger-striped skunk porn star threw the crowd at her? >She even hits a couple >nocking them down. Mina does not even stop to say sorry. SASAMI: How rude! ATHENA: My hip! My hip! Get back here, you little punk! >She runs across the street almost getting hit by not one but >two cars! She almost hits a elderly person, but is able to cut past them just in time. YOHKO: Why do the elderly get special privileges? > She zips right past Andrew, who is walking to work. MIKE ...With a gun in his hand. ATHENA: This shall be the last day I am forced to handle those wretched tokens! > He screams "Where are you going? What's wrong?" But Mina does not answer. She runs past the >Arcade where Andrew was heading. Not even looking twice at it. Then she sees it! MIKE: Bigfoot! YOHKO: In Tokyo? MIKE: He likes to travel a lot. > But their know where to be found? ALL: SASAMI: What did that just say? MIKE: Play that again! >But their know where to be found? MIKE: Uuh... ATHENA: What the... REI: That has to be the mother of all Thinkerisms! >She looks around. MIKE: Oh, no! We're not continuing until we figure out what that statement meant, dammit! YOHKO: It meant, "But they're nowhere to be found." SASAMI: Oh, I see it now. REI: You see, the spellchecker doesn't catch everything. MIKE: It can't be that simple! I smell code! >She can not see Serena and the gang anywhere in the park? ATHENA: I don't know, can she? YOHKO: If the story's asking us these questions, it's a bad sign. > Then she looks at the Ice cream store >across the street. "Of course" she say's. She runs to it. She runs in and their they are! MIKE: Wow, is this ever fast-paced! > "Hi Mina" said Raye, as she was eating an Ice cream. Actually they were all eating ice creams with one >scoop, ATHENA: As one normally does in an ice cream shop. >except of course Serena who had 3 scoops. YOHKO: ...Of raisins? REI: She bribed that sun fellow. > "Come sit down." said Ami. "We don't have time to so sit! We have to hurry!" said Mina. "Why is that >Red >Ninja at it again? " said Artemis, MIKE: Well, because it's his job, I guess. > who was sitting on Lita's lap. "No" replied Mina. "Is there a new evil? " asked Luna who was with Ami? SASAMI: Is Haim Saban going through with that live-action version of our program? REI: Is Disney going through with that live-action movie of us? MIKE: Hey, another stray question mark. I think they're overpopulating. >"Noooo" said Mina. ATHENA: For those of you who never thought you'd see a Sailor Senshi imitating Mr. Bill... > "My Dads job gave him 5 tickets to Disneyland Tokyo!" MIKE: YOHKO: Oh, this can't be serious! ATHENA: I told you NOT to make this a Disney crossover! MIKE: This is just not right! SASAMI: Couldn't you have just sent them to Golden Saucer or something like that? MIKE: EVIL!!! EVIL!!! BURN THIS FIC TO THE GROUND!!! SASAMI: Oh, it isn't that bad. MIKE: Eviiill... REI: This had better not last the entire fic, Mike. > All the girls got exited and stood up to leave. YOHKO: Damn, kicked out of an ice cream shop. ATHENA: Hey, the sign said 'No Pets.' >Darien and the two cats were still sitting in the chairs. "What about the red Ninja? Asked Luna? REI: Not only are those question marks overpopulating, but they're eating the quotation marks. >"We need a day off, plus nobody will do anything at Disneyland." said Mina. SASAMI: Foreshadowing! MIKE: I hope it gets burnt to the ground. >"What about me?" said Darien (You can tell he wants to go!) MIKE: WHY??? > "Sorry, you can have fun with Luna and Artemis today" said Serena. Then the girls took off. Darien was >left sitting at the table, when a guy came up to him and said "Here is the second triple scoop ice cream >you ordered for the girl." REI: Your girlfriend's putting our kids through college, by the way. >Darien just looked at it and said to the cats. "Do you want to share?" ATHENA: We'd love to, but we're lactose intolerant! >The cats wasted no time and started linking the ice cream. MIKE: Gluttons. YOHKO: Linkable Ice Cream, the new joint venture from Baskin Robbins and Lego. > >[Title Screen] > ATHENA: Hey, there it is. SASAMI: They Mean To Win Wimbledon. >In the dark rock like fortress, the six ninja's are kneeling around the hole in the fortress, filled up with >water. REI: Well, the basement's REALLY flooded this time. >The ninja's are chanting, Steam rises from the water, MIKE: New, from the makers of Salad Shooter, the chant-activated Salad Steamer. >and Haiti's appears from the steam. SASAMI: Haiti's? MIKE: Haiti's what? Haiti's prime minister? Haiti's trade agreement with the US? Details, man! > Again looking reddish with red glowing >eyes. MIKE: With George Hamilton as Haiti. >"Greetings Haiti's God of the under world, MIKE: Hey, I didn't know that Haiti followed the ancient Greek and Roman religion. > you have summoned us?" said the Red Ninja. Really worried at this point. "You failed again number 1?" said Haiti's. MIKE: Must be really embarrassing to have the entire population of Haiti know about your constipation. REI: Okay, that's enough Haiti jokes for one fic. >You still can not make out any of the other ninja's. Number 1 replied YOHKO: Look, just give me a damn flashlight, and I'll take care of it. SASAMI: Another quotation mark vanished. Are they endangered? >"Yes I have failed again. but not only is their that Sailor girl, But there are four others? ATHENA: Shouldn't you know by now? >They are also scouts, SASAMI: They sold me cookies, I was helpless to stop them! >And before, there was a guy in a mask." YOHKO: ...Calling himself El Cabong and swinging this guitar around. > Haiti's looked on MIKE: SASAMI: Oh, stop that. >"So Sailor Moon still has her Scout friends? I guess you are going to have to deal with it number 1" REI: That is such a demeaning name. >Number 1 looking shocked that his life was not ended ATHENA: We're not. YOHKO: I'm beginning to doubt Hades' authority. > said "I have a plan, I have found a person with a very caring soul, he works at this place called >Disneyland. MIKE: A person with a caring soul working at Disneyland? Ha! That's an oxymoron if I ever heard one! > The Scouts will never think of looking there! I will take his energy!" Haiti's smiled ATHENA: Sorry, I was thinking about something else. What were you saying? > "Engage this mission!" SASAMI: Jean Luc Picard as Hades. > >The girls just entered the park and they all had big smiles on there faces. "Were here!!!" they screamed. REI: And we're out for blood!!! SASAMI: It's the Sailor Senshi! They must have heard about that live-action movie of them we were planning on doing! Run for your lives! >"Where do you want to go first?" asked Lita "Space Mountain" said Mina. "Pirates of the Caribbean" said >Ami. "Splash Mountain" said Raye. "The tea cup ride" said Serena . And all the girls looked at her? MIKE: Uuh... Yes? No, wait, I want to change my answer! >"What" she said "don't you think you are spiny enough all ready Serena" YOHKO: Spiny? What, does the teacup ride graft spines onto you while you ride? MIKE: That's what happens when you let Phyrexians build your rides. > replied Raye. Then Serena started crying. And all the other girls started to get into a fight over >which ride to go on. ATHENA: The ugly truth about Disney, and how it destroys friendships and families! > They were just about to go there separate ways, when Roger Rabbit appeared "What is all the bickering >about?" he asked. MIKE: Well, for starters, you're here. > The girls started arguing to Roger that nobody will go on the ride that they want to go on! >"Why don't you girls come with me to my Car Toon Spin ride!!! SASAMI: Shameless self-promoter! > The girls agreed and followed him, all singing Disney tunes as they went! MIKE: REI: Oh, don't overreact. MIKE: Nothing will ever be pure again! > >The Red Ninja appeared out of a ship in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. He saw a guy in a Micky Mouse >Suite YOHKO: The Mickey Mouse Suite, the newest thing fron Red Roof Inn. >going on the ride with some kids. "That is the guy with the caring heart, I'm looking for! At the right >moment I will get his energy!!!" MIKE: I'll wait until he's on the can! REI: You've done that one already. MIKE: I have? I think I've got the wrong script. > >Wen the girls got off the Car Toon Spin ride, ATHENA: They felt like throwing up. >They were met by goofy. ATHENA: Oh, that's worse. YOHKO: By the way, just what the Hell is Goofy, anyway? MIKE: People have been trying to find that out for years. I, personally, think he's a mutated, skinny hippo. >"Hi ya girls" he said The girls laughed. "Do you girls want some action? MIKE: ...I'm not touching this one. REI: You'd better not! > Why don't you come with me to the Star Tours ride!" "Ok" said Ami with a smile on her face. SASAMI: Swallowing urge to kill, swallowing urge to kill... >The Red ninja was looking at Mickey when he was about to make his attack. MIKE: The Ninja speaks for all of us! Strike down the devil rat where he stands! > He was about to jump out at Mickey when some kids got in his way. REI: Ala Stargate. > "You got lucky this time, but before this day is over your energy will be mine!" > >The girls finished the ride when Pluto walked up to them. YOHKO: Well, for one thing, Goofy and Pluto look alike. ATHENA: The implications there are endless. SASAMI: I think Goofy is a mutated hippo, too. >"Pluto now there is a name we can relate to." said Mina. "Do you want us to follow you Pluto?" asked >Serena. Pluto shook his head and the girls followed. REI: What's that boy? Timmy's fallen into Dead Man Canyon? MIKE: BARK! REI: And his leg's broken? MIKE: BARK! REI: And he needs his Ritalin? MIKE: BARK! REI: Stupid dog! You don't use Ritalin on a broken leg! SMACK!!! MIKE: YIPE, YIPE! > He took them to the Pinocio ride, the Alice in Wonder land ride, and to It's a small World boat ride. YOHKO: This is really a promotional film for Disney, isn't it? >The girls liked it but were wanting more faster rides, ATHENA: "More faster rides"? > except Serena. She was having the time of her life on the rides. "This is more you pace, right Serena?" >said Raye. You are not going to wreck my day any more Raye!" replied Serena as she started to sing "It's >a small world after all" SASAMI: That's not funny! ATHENA: Of course, he puts quotation marks on that perfectly... >They were then met by Donald Duck. MIKE: Donald Duck, the most vulgar of all Disney's creations! YOHKO: Watch in horror as Donald and his nephews prance around pantsless in front of your family, shamelessly flashing their loins in front of your children! > And he took them to the new Indiana Jones Adventure ride. They all loved it. >Serena was scared to death, but then started to sing "It's a small world after all" and she was happy again. >The girls then met Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. And they all went on Splash Mountain. REI: The fic. Reverted to using. Sentence fragments. SASAMI: Oh, yuck! Wet dwarf! YOHKO: Nothing smells worse. >After they went to see the picture that was taken when they were going down the water fall, MIKE: You know, the temptation to flip the bird while on that ride is overwhelming. Trust me, I know. > they all laughed at their faces, well more at Serena's face because YOHKO: ...The G-forces were tearing her face off. > she was crying in the photo. They were going to buy the photo but decided they have seen Serena cry >enough as it is. But none of this bothered her, as she kept singing "It's a small world after all" It was >starting to get on the girls nerves. But the girls looked over. Then they saw him! ALL: ELVIS! > >[CM Break] > SASAMI: Wait, who did they see? >Then snow white introduced them to Prince Charming. SASAMI: Oh. MIKE: Prince Charming, the sissiest-dressed man in Disney history! >They went ga-ga. MIKE: Radio Ga-Ga? > Right away Lita grabbed one arm, and Serena >grabbed the other. ATHENA: Make a wish! > "Show us around!" said Serena. "Please" said Lita. So they started walking, then Mina goes to Serena >"What do you think Darien would think of this?" SASAMI: He'd laugh! > "Darien who?" She responded. "The Darien I'm going to tell later, that's >who!" REI: Wow, that is one long name. >said Mina. "Oh that Darien." Serena said letting go quickly. Then Mina took Serena's spot write away. ATHENA: Today's typing lesson is: Don't count on your spellchecker to catch all of your mistakes. > He took >them to Space Mountain and the Michael Jackson 3-D show. MIKE: Insert tasteless child molestation joke here. YOHKO: Isn't it an amazing coincidence that the Disneyland in Tokyo is an exact replica of the American Disneyland? > >The Red Ninja was watching Mickey Mouse, as he was letting kids of the ride. ATHENA: The Red Ninja's a voyeur? > "Now" he said "This is my chance!" Then >the Red Ninja jumped out of the water and jumped in front of Mickey. REI: Oh, my God! A wet Ninja! > Mickey Mouse said "Boy these pirates are >looking more real all the time. Then the Red Ninja pulled out his energy sword. SASAMI: Hey, Mickey turned into the narrator all of a sudden. > And Mickey said "This is a little to real >for me" and started running. The Red Ninja followed. They ran all threw the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. MIKE: But the ride was too heavy, and they broke their backs doing so. >The Ninja was making the Pirates come to life, only scarring Mickey more. ATHENA: Whoa, they're scarring him? They shouldn't have made those swords so realistic! > But Mickey just kept running, so the Ninja made the >cannons on the boats shoot at mickey. SASAMI: Hey, look! Gregory Peck's on that boat! > The shots were just missing him. I'm going to have to speak to Walt about this!" YOHKO: Of course, that would mean having to defrost his head... SASAMI: Wait! Mickey was saying ALL of that? Or was the Narrator saying it? I'm confused. >Mickey said. Then Mickey got to the part where the girls are going after the pirates, but this time they >started going after him. Pirates and more Pirates kept chasing him, MIKE: I had a dream like this once. > until he finally got out of the ride. > >The girls were still with Prince Charming. And they were going into the Haunted House. There was a big >fight over who got to sit with Prince Charming. Lita won! MIKE: With a vicious lariat-Stunner combo! REI: So, they decided to make the 'Who sits next to Prince Charmin' sequence the exciting part... > They started the ride. > >Mickey was running for his life, ATHENA: Odd juxtaposition of scenes. >when he entered the Haunted House with The Red Ninja still on his trail. YOHKO: Call me picky, but I'm a little skeptical about the author's layout of Disneyland. > Serena and >Raye were in a cart together, both scared from all the ghosts. REI: Um, no! > When all of a sudden Mickey ran by. "Was that Mickey >Mouse?" asked Raye? "I think so?" replied Serena. Then the Red Ninja appeared and ran by them. "Was >that the Red >Ninja? Asked Raye "I think so?" replied Serena. Then it just hit them. "Wait a minute" They both said. MIKE: That played out just like a Three Stooges skit. >And they jumped >out. ATHENA: Wow, compared to that, flipping the bird on the Log Flume ride isn't too bad. >They grabbed Mina and Ami and went to get Lita but Lita did not want to leave Prince Charming. But >finally decided to. "Wait you can't leave the ride" Said the Prince. MIKE: I'm placing you under Sissy-Foofoo Man arrest! > Then Lita went over and gave him a big >kiss on the cheek YOHKO: With her fist. >and told him to stay there. REI: Stay, boy! Good boy! >The Prince just froze. MIKE: You know, seeing a paralyzed man in a fruity prince get-up would probably the scariest part of the ride. > Then the girls found a spot and changed into the Scouts. They screamed >Jupiter star power, Venus star power, Mercury star power, Mars star power! Moon crystal power! Then >they all changed to Sailor Scouts. SASAMI: They changed twice? > >The Red Ninja finally caught Mickey and was about to stick him with the sword MIKE: I shall refrain from cheering... > when from know where "Venus Love Chain Encircle" an generated a chain of energy that grabbed >Mickey and pulled him out of the way. SASAMI: Huh? YOHKO: Another Thinkerism. "What's this?" The Red Ninja said. MIKE: As he had taken the job of Narrator for the Batman TV show starring Adam West. >Then looked and saw The Sailor Scouts. "What are you doing here?" he said. "How dare you try to hurt >Mickey Mouse and ruin our day of fun. I'm Sailor Moon, and I'm going to punish you!" said Sailor Moon. >"Where here to you know" said Mars. ATHENA: What? > "and my friends too" Sailor Moon finished. "Well we will just see about that" said the Red >Ninja. Then the ghosts in the haunted house started to come alive, and go after the Scouts, The ghosts >were chasing the Scouts as they were just running away screaming. REI: I'll admit, it's a nice ability, but this just isn't a situation where I'd take it seriously. > Then Jupiter goes "Jupiter Thunder Dragon" and a dragon shaped >lighting bolt shot from Jupiter and hit the ghosts and did nothing. SASAMI: Ha, Ha! I covered myself in rubber for this fight! > Then she jumped into a barrel and the ghosts went by her. YOHKO: Oh, God! I never wanted this to start looking like Scooby Doo. SASAMI: When the pull the Red Ninja's mask off, it'll be Don Knotts. REI: And I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids... and your cats! > Then she jumped out and landed in front of the Ninja. "Remember me" Jupiter said. ATHENA: I hope you do! Because, Red Ninja, This Is Your Life! >"I remember we have some unsolved business." MIKE: This dialogue's right out of a Chuck Norris film. SASAMI: Lita, Texas Ranger. MIKE: ...There's an odd image. > replied the Ninja Then they started fighting Jupiter was trying to hit the Ninja but was unable. ATHENA: I count at least two missing periods there. > The >Ninja did a flip to get away, but Jupiter also did a flip, but as she was landing, the Ninja stabbed her with >the energy >sword. There was a big scream, that everybody herd. YOHKO: Herd? > Then Mars looked and saw the Ninja standing over Lita with a >sword threw her. MIKE: Come on, we can't keep making grammar and punctuation riffs! > "Noooo" she screamed, then shouted "Mars firebird Strike" to create a blast of flame shaped in the form of a firebird, and it hit the Ninja knocking him and the sword at least 20 feet. SASAMI" Oh, no! The rubber covering my body is melting! > The ninja looked dazed, but then >looked at his sword REI: How'd this get here? > "The energy I can't believe the energy she has!" Then he saw Mars going for another attack, so he >jumped out of the way, and decided it was best to get out of there before he gets hit again. YOHKO: And the Red Ninja jobs once again. > But before he left he said "I know what I want now! And I want you" ATHENA: I'm in love with all of you! > Then threw a smoke bomb and disappeared. SASAMI: And you know he's just crouched behind one of the walls right now, giggling. > Then Mercury shouted "Mercury >Ice bubbles Freeze" and the bubbles froze the ghosts. Then Serena said "Moon Scepter Elimination" and >made the ghosts into moon dust. ATHENA: Hey, those things are expensive, you know. MIKE: Action Scene Lite. > >They ran to Jupiter write away. Mercury studied her with her visor and said YOHKO: She's dead, Jim! > "There is no cut, but a lot of her energy is missing, she needs to go to the hospital. MIKE: Oh, and how are you going to explain what happened to her? REI: Uuh... she fell against a coffee table? > >Darien and the girls were at the hospital standing over a recovering Lita, when she woke up. SASAMI: Oh, I had this wonderful dream. And you were there. And you, and you... >"Are you all right?" asked Raye. Lita replied "I think so, but what happen to Prince Charming?" Serena >said "We couldn't find him after?" ATHENA: Why are you asking her? > Lita said >"That is to bad, because he reminded me of my last boyfriend" Then smiled. "I think she is going to be all >write." Said Mina as the girls laughed. Then Serena said "Let me sing to you!" And started to sing "It's a >small world after all" And Lita goes "Can somebody shut her up!" YOHKO: That was a pretty abrupt ending. > > > >SAILOR SAYS: > >"Go visit Disneyland. It's the best. ALL: LIAR!!! REI: Did Michael Eisner co-write this? > But go on It's a small world last, believe me!!!" > Sailor Moon says SASAMI: Better yet, don't go on at all. MIKE: Better yet, don't even go SASAMI: What was that?? ATHENA: Felt like something hit us! REI: Let's get out of here! (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Dog Bone) On the bridge, the violent shaking continued. "There's a large object slamming into us repeatedly!" Sasami said. "Our sensor show that its propulsion and weapons systems are the most advanced money can buy!" "Cambot!" Rei yelled, "Give us Rocket #9." Outside of the ship, a huge, black sphere, with two smaller spheres interposed on its top, was slamming into the ship. The Letters ABC were written on its front. "What the Hell is that?" Yohko said, trying to keep her balance from the shaking. "Hold on," Sasami said, "they're contacting us." The Hexfield opened up, revealing a countless mass of suit-clad men and women, as far as the eye could see. Each one held a large briefcase in one hand, and wore those stupid little Mouse ear gloves that everyone buys at Disneyland (but quickly lose). "Who are you," Athena asked, "and why are you attacking our ship?" "We are the combined lawyers of Disney and ABC," the lawyers replied in deafening unison. "We seek the one named Michael." Michael, who had been too busy trying to keep his balance to pay attention, stepped forward. "That would be me." "We come bearing a lawsuit," the lawyers replied, "for your defaming statements made during the reading of a piece of literature named... 'Sailor Next'!" "Sailor X," a small, off screen voice whispered. "Whatever," the lawyers replied. "Now, wait a minute!" Mike said angrily. "You can't sue me just because I don't like Disney! I have a right to dislike you without fear of reprisal from Disney fans or Disney itself." Mike turned to the camera, a dramatic look on his face. "Can't you see that, by lashing out at those who have an opinion different from ourselves, we only discourage individuality, within ourselves and our children. We have to... huh?" As Michael was speaking, Yohko had been whispering into the other Magical girls' ears, snickering and causing them to laugh as well. Now, she began to whisper into Mike's ears, and he smiled. "Besides," he then said, "all my riffs were authorized by my employees, Nod's Evil Twisted Phyrexia Number Thirteen (NETPNT)! If you have a problem with what I said, talk to them!" "We shall!" the lawyers replied, and the Hexfield slowly shut itself. Everyone excitedly turned towards the camera to see what would happen. The villains were laughing at what was happening, before Yawgmoth bellowed out a "WAIT A MINUTE!" and everyone stopped. Quickly, there was a violent shaking through NETPNT. As the shaking worsened, Dr. Forrester ran up to the screen. "How could you??? Have you no sense of DECENCY???" *}-----FWOOSH-----{* "We are the combined Lawyers of..." Rei Hino created by Naoko Takeuchi Yohko Mano created by Masao Moruyoma Sasami created by Hitoshi Okuda Athena Asamiya created by SNK Kane created by Westwood Studios Dr. Evil created by Mike Myers, I think Calypso created by 989 Studios Yawgmoth created by Wizards of the Coast Michael O'Hare created by Timothy and Carlota O'Hare Inventions created by Michael O'Hare. Dr. Forrester, TV's Frank, and the whole concept of MST3K created by Best Brains, bless their souls... This fanfic is owned by the writer, whom I am not insulting at all! Really! I mean it! I actually think this fic's not too bad. The MiSTing of this fanfic is owned by ME, Michael O'Hare Special Thanks to: Tim McLees, for accepting my weird-ass crap. Jamie Jeans, for the pointers. Michael Surbrook, for the additional pointers. Jim Fix, even though he's quite dead. All other MiSTers out there. You, dear reader, for reading this. The authors of the first amendment. Keep circulating the tapes STINGER: But their know where to be found? _*_ Just to make things clear, I am NOT a fanatical Disney hater. I just hate them for a normal amount. Stupid Mouse People... This fanfic is actually starting to grow on me, actually. That doesn't mean I'll stop MiSTing it, mind you. After all, MiSTing isn't about hating the fic, even though it may certainly sound that way at times... To contact me, please e-mail... servantofdea@hotmail.com Just remember, if you send anything cruel, I'll laugh, and then run from the computer in a panicked state. Seriously, though, C&C is greatly appreciated. I have learned many things in my life, and here is one of them. -Cats smell funny. Up close, anyway.