Part 5 [[Joel walks in carrying Tom Servo. Crow follows along behind him. The three take their usual seats.]] >Scene shows wolf leading rangers through the junkyard where the note had >said the base was.He is walking low with his rifle at the ready.He noticed >he was much more nervous than normal while on a combat mission.He wasn't >afraid of death but more about the deaths of his new teammates.He had grown >rather attached to them in the last few hours and now he was more worried >about them than himself. Crow: The audience and the rangers on the other hand couldn't care less as to whether or not "Wolf-a-rine" gets beaten, maimed, or killed. >He knew you weren't supposed to make friends you couldn't stand to >lose in his profession but he couldn't help it.As they came upon their >destenation,they were walking along a long wall of concrete blocks holding >up a pile of scrap metal with an alley like road going into the heap.Wolf >knew that was the objective and he also knew it would be more than well >gaurded.A few feet from the entrance he turned to Chip. >Wolf: ok boss,I'm gonna go secure the entrence,you guys hold up here for a >mike ok? Joel: A Mike? Something about that sounds familiar, I just can't place my finger on it though... >Chip: ok but what's a mike. >Wolf: a minute. Tom: Well why didn't you just say that? >Chip: ok but be careful. >Wolf: zipper,would you mind assisting me? Crow: Oh yeah Zipper's in this story, I almost forgot... >Zipper buzzes a yes and follows him to the edge of the wall before going >into the alley.Zipper wondered what wolf wanted him to do.He was surprised >he would even ask for help in the first place. >Wolf(whispering):zipper,just peak over the edge and tell me how many guards >there are,you're so small they most likely won't see you. Tom: [Wolf] And since you're the most expendable member of the team, even if they do see you its not going to be a very big deal. >Zipper nods and slowly peaks over the edge and suddenly jumps back. >Wolf: how many? >Zipper holds up seven fingers. Tom: But flies don't even have fingers! >Wolf: oh great. >Wolf takes his rifle off safety and grips it tightly,feeling the rush he >loved so much. Crow: Wolf, now is definitely not the time or the place to be masterbating! Joel: Crow! >After a second he spun half of >his body over the edge firing a volley of rounds on automatic just across >the alley to keep the guards down while he quickly surveyed the area to see >where they were.He saw all of them behind cover making his job more >difficult.After his magazine was out he spun back behind the wall a hail of >bullets following, making Swiss cheese out of the wall on the other side of >him. Tom: This caused Monterey Jack to have a massive cheese attack. He then proceeded to devour everything in site including Wolf. >He hit the clip release and smoothly had another in place before the >first hit the ground.He then locked and loaded and also switched to >semi-auto.He stuck the gun over the edge and shot off three rounds as >suppression fire and then swung himself around into the alley shooting two >of the men right in the heads and whipped back around,this time a Rocket >Propelled Grenade following along with the expected bullets.The rockets user >was obviously new to the weapon because it went and hit the alley wall very >close to where he was but at such an angle that the explosion bounced off >the wall.He looked over at the rangers who were all hugging dirt. Tom: Isn't it great, even despite being trapped in a horrible fan fic with a horrible self-insertion author and being surrounded by generic gun toting henchmen the rangers still take some time out to show compassion for the dirt. Joel and Crow: Aww... >Wolf(yelling to the rangers): Get over here!! >As the group started to crawl over,unaware that they were in relatively >little danger not being in any line of fire,Wolf spun around this time >firing a grenade from his launcher right into the chest of a rat who was >standing by his buddy,the grenadeexploded nailing them both. Four down three >to go.As he got behind cover he felt a sharp pain in his ear,ignoring it he >reloaded his launcher.By now the group had arrived next to him and Wolf >handed a .45 to chip. Joel: [Chip] Hey this your mindless violence self gratification fantasy, leave me out of this. >Chip: but I don't know anything about firefights! >Wolf: Baptism by fire!,just don't be a hero and lay down some cover fire >for me! Crow: [Wolf] Yeah this is my fan fic... and that means I'm the boss and... oh you get the point. >Chip hesitantly nodded. >Wolf: NOW! Crow: [Chip, sobbing] Yes Wolf anything you say please don't hurt me. >At this wolf jumped into the alley full speed firing on auto all the way, >diving behind a hunk of rock about halfway into the alley,chip firing wildly >but accoplishing the task he had been given.Wolf now lying on his back >behind the rock, reloaded the 16 and flipped over into the prone position.He >laid down some suppression fire and when they went down, he came up running >toward them nailing two of the three,but before he could get the third >guard,his gun jammed.Dropping it,he leaped toward the rat who was now >drawing a rather long knife and pulled out his own katanna the blade a >glimmering black. Joel: Hey shouldn't the other Rangers get involved in this fight? Tom: Well Joel, this really isn't the Ranger's fight to begin with. Joel: Yeah but won't the bad guy's eventually kill Wolf without their help? Tom: That was Ranger's plan in the first place. Joel: Oh yeah.... >Landing right next to the rat, they engaged in an impressive >match of sword play.The sentry knew how to use that knife of his and managed >to slice Wolf several times.Then Wolf disarmed him and leaped in for the >kill.A few minutes later he walked out to the group who were waiting for him Crow: [Chip] He survived... damn it! Tom: [Gadget] Is the action sequence over? Can we return to the story? >Gadget: Oh my gosh! you've been hurt! Tom: [As an Evil Gadget] Which is just what I was hoping for! HA HA HA HA!!!! >Wolf: I caught a graze to the ear,no big deal. Tom: [Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holly Grail] Its just a flesh wound... I've been hurt worse before, honest... >Gadget: what about all those cuts on your arms?! >Wolf: that guard knew how to use a blade. Joel: You see Wolf's used to fighting guards who don't know how to use the weapon's they're equipped with, usually one's that don't even know which side of the blade is the pointy one. >They walked back to the Ranger Wing where Wolf explained where the weapons >were that had been moved while Gadget bandaged him up with the firstaid kit >she kept in the plane. >Wolf: it really sucks that we got here too late,now the guns are all over >the city and we got to find'em all. Crow: [Dale] Yeah, because if we don't find all of them, they might end up in the hands of some egotistical gun toting fan fiction author! >Chip: do you know how big this city is!? >Monty: Too right, theres no way we can track down all those bloom'n pea >shooters. >Dale: so what do we do now? >Gadget: first we have to get him to a hospital to take care of these >wounds. Tom: Lets just hope this hospital is like the one in "The Ambulance". Crow: Paging Dr. Killjoy, paging Dr. Ivana Killjoy... >Wolf: that won't be necessary Gadget thank you anyway. Crow: [Wolf] You see I'm completely invincible, one of the many perks of being a self insertion author. >Monty: Gadgets right you're cut up pretty bad >Wolf: these are minor wounds and my healing factor will take care of them >now that Gadget has stopped the bleeding.Don't worry about it.I say we go >back to HQ to rest up and plan our next move. Crow: [Wolverine] Come on, you've stolen my claws, my skeleton, and my secret origin. At least me keep my healing factor! Come on! >Monty:but we should go bash those goons now before they hurt anyone! Tom: And they should bash Darren before he writes himself into any more fan fics. >Chip: wolf's right we need to plan first.We won't be able to do anything >right now. >Monty looking grumpily goes along.