From: WHolden535 Save Address Block Sender Date: Mon, 18 May 1998 21:44:41 EDT To: shinji_70@hotmail.com Subject: MSTing #3 boundary="part0_895542281_boundary" [PaperClip] Attachment Enclosed! Insane Fanfiction Theater 3000 #3! Thundercats: One Thing or Another. Written by: CATS MSTed by: J-Boogie. On: 3/23/98 Revised: 5/18/98 Disclaimer: Well, Mr. Triggs has told me that the original version of this MSTing was pretty weak, and after doing my fifth one and looking back, I can't help but agree with him. So, here is the new and improved version! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Theme Song: In the not too distant future, In fact it's at the present date, There was a boy named Ryan, Who was going to meet his fate, He was to read fanfics his captor said Who turned out to be Oscar but wasn't he dead? And it seems that old Oscie is touched in the head Because Ryan was teleported to a place called Hentai Space.... (Argh! What now?!?!) Oscar'll send him crappy fanfics, the worst he can find(Lalala!) In order to find the exact one that will send him out of his mind(Lalala!) Now Ryan just can't control when the fics will begin or end(Lalala!) But to keep his sanity, he has the help of some Anime friends.... ANIME ROLLCALL!! RANMA!! (I don't belive this!) AKANE!! (Oscar no Hentai!!) RYOUGA!! (Where am I--Oh.) UKYOU!! (This just sucks.) Now you're probably wondering how they'll eat and sleep and other science facts (Lalala!) but just remember it's just fiction so you should really just relax!! On Insane Fanfiction Theater 3000! (Twang!) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was quiet. Too quiet. The crowds were waiting for the match to start and they were getting restless. Well, actually, the only people... if they could be called that were a green/red beast and a blue... beast. "What say you, Hank? Do you think this match will go well?" "Well, Blanka, the combatants are very good... in their own accord. Oh look!! There they are now!" A scream, followed by a crashing thud as a body landed, signalled the arrival of Dan Hibiki. He got up muttering about violent girls just as Sakura ran up to the sidelines, yelling, "Yeah, well the next time you grab me like that I'll make sure to break something!!" Ken, meanwhile, was standing at the other edge of the canyon, chuckling in amusement while Ryu was twiddling his thumbs at the sidelines. A voice boomed out from nowhere in capital letters "READY?! FIGHT!!" The fight was fast and brutal! Fireballs, dragon punches, hurricane kicks were being thrown all over the place! And this was just Ken! After having a bit of fun with Dan, Ken gave a victory sign and Ryu flew into the fight with a drop kick to the face. Dan, getting the snot beat out of him, whistled shrilly, calling Sakura into the fight. "Now we're going to see who's better, Ryu-sama!" And Sakura DID fare much better in this fight. "MIDARE ZAKURA!! HAH!!" Ryu got caught in the full faux shotokan beatdown, but luckily was able to call Ken in right after it was done. "IKUZE! SHINRYUUKEN!!" WHAM! And Sakura went flying smack into the cliffside, knocked unconcious. Dan, being the only one left, jumped into the match. "FACE MY ULTIMATE TECHNIQUE!! OTOKO MICHI!!" He lunged forward and grabbed Ken. "OYAJIIII!!!!" *BOOM!* Dan was nearly out of it and he had just done a craps worth of damage to Ken. "Oi! Ryu! It's time to finish it!" Dan, after getting his senses back, stood up just as Ryu jumped in. He watched them both take up that familiar stance. "Shinkuu..." Oh bugger, he thought. Maybe I'll land in Ottawa after this... "HADOUKEN!!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- (The scene pans back to show Ranma and Ryouga playing at an arcade machine in the longue, while everybody else was sprawled in a couple of beanbag chairs, watching the game on the wall monitor) RYOUGA: Aw, dammit! I lost! RANMA: Just like in real life, you can't beat me! Not in sparring, not in checkers, not even in Marvel Super Heroes versus Street Fighter! Why the hell'd you pick DAN?! RYOUGA: I thought he had some cool secret technique.....not that damn Otoko Michi or whatever the hell it was.... AKANE: (Aside to Uyoua) They sure like their video games, don't they? UKYOU: (Aside to Akane) You said it. RANMA: Well, Ken *is* the better fighter of the two. That's why he was my team leader! RYAN: Says who?! Ryu is *WAY* better than Ken! RYOUGA: Uh uh, Gouki is better than the both of them put together! RANMA: Oh yeah?! AKANE: Guys... the freak is calling... RANMA: We'll finish this discussion later. The game faded off of the monitor and our intrepid team waited for Oscar to deliver the latest flame targets. But Artemis, surprisingly, popped up this time, with Felicia kneeling beside him. ARTEMIS: Guys, help? Please? FELICIA: Yeah! Oscar is terrible! RANMA: How'd you get in a situation like that in the first place? ARTEMIS: Well, he hypnotized ALL of my friends including me! I miss Luna! (bawls) FELICIA: (pats him on the shoulder) There there. He hypnotized me too. (shudders) The things he made me do... ARTEMIS: (sobbing) Me too! WAAHHH!! OSCAR: (walking up behind them) *There* you two are!! What are you doing? FELICIA: Uh... we were just talking to them, that's all! OSCAR: Oh. Hello people!! What are you up to? RYAN: Thinking of how many ways we can kill you. What number are we up to AKANE? AKANE: 86 last time I checked. OSCAR: Is that so? Well, you've got another fanfic to watch! It's Thundercats: One Thing or Another, by CATS. RANMA: Can't you get one from another author?! OSCAR: I'll think about it. Now get into the theater! Raising a fist into the air, Ryan screamed: RYAN: WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!! Everybody else: (monotone) Yay. And off they go, into the theater! They take the usual arrangement: Ukyou Ryouga Ryan Ranma Akane. > I hope you do not mind if I just paste the story onto the Email. RYAN: Too bad it didn't get lost in a blackout. > Let me > know otherwise for further submissions. RYAN: You must submit to the healing powers of Jesus! (places his hand on Ranma's face) RANMA: Oh! I'm... oooh, what's that smell... (faints) RYAN: (sniffs his hand) Hmm, I knew I should have washed these. > This story is called One Thing > Or Another. RYOUGA: (singing) One way... or another... I'm gonna find ya... I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya... AKANE: Who? RYOUGA: CATS, Oscar... take your pick. > It is about the cartoon Thundercats: UKYOU: Not to be confused with the live action Thundercats... AKANE: Eww, don't say that. That reminds me of that Street Fighter movie they did a while back... RYAN: ARGH! I *finally* forgot about that movie and now you have to go and remind me!! AKANE: Hee hee... gomen. > Thundercats: One Thing Or Another > By "CATS" RYAN: Here kitty kitty... (imitates cocking a shotgun) > Lion-o finally got into his room and quickly closed the door. RYAN: Uh oh... I hope Cheetara didn't catch me peeking on her in the shower... AKANE: RYAN! RYAN: Think about the author, and then ask me if I had any reason to say that! AKANE: (thinks for a moment) Alright, I'll let you off with *that* one. > He was relieved RYAN: Oh, that Immodium-AD works great... > that he was finally away from everyone else. He quickly > threw RANMA: ...up after realizing what CATS was about to put him through... > the Sword Of Omens aside RYAN: (sniffles) Oh, I see. Now that you have *girls* you don't need ME anymore! Don't you remember our nights together in bed... > and his claw-sheild. RYAN: At least it wasn't a panty shield. *THWAP* RYAN: OW! UKYOU: Watch it, buddy. AKANE: Doesn't he know the poem, I before E, except after C? RYOUGA: Except when sounding like AY as in Neighbor or Weigh? AKANE: Good job Ryouga-kun! Here's a cookie! RYOUGA: Thanks! (Eats it) Urk... it's... very... gack... (passes out) AKANE: Ryouga? RANMA: Did you make that? AKANE: Well... yes... RANMA: Ah... > He pulled down his pants RYAN: (groans) Oh... that feels so much better... > and immediatly began to yank on his already > hard dick. RYAN: Oh, I get it! He's a wanker! UKYOU: RYAN! RYAN: You're just mad I thought of it first! > He enjoyed to feel AKANE: You enjoy to feel? Phonics must you learn. > the length of his 8 inches, RYOUGA: Cape? RYAN: Well, he is the Lord of the Thundercats. RYOUGA: But an 8 inch cape is nothing! > pulling at his balls. All: (Singing) You've got your balls to the walls! RANMA: Wait, the length was pulling at his balls? RYAN: He forgot the number one rule of writing: Grammar is our friend. > He had not AKANE: Do or do not? CATS you must kill! > had a chance all day to jack off RYAN: But I thought it was Panthro who did all the mechanical repair work. RANMA: That was jack *off*, not jack *up*. > and was happy he could now. RYAN: Happy... Crappy... joy... oy... > Watching Cheetara, Pumyra and even Wily Kit RYAN: Also known to the guys as Washboard Chest... *SCHINK* RYAN: What was-- Ryan gets belted in the head with the Kick-ass spatula, courtesy of Ukyou. > walk around in skimpy outfits > made him RANMA: Jealous. *HE* wanted to walk around in skimpy outfits! > hard. AKANE: Hmm... that riff won't be *Easy*... RYOUGA: Ah, just let it go. This whole story isn't *Normal*. UKYOU: Why the hell does OSCAR have to make it so *Hard* on us?! RANMA: This whole thing is a *Nightmare*!! RYAN: (waking up) And that, people, was the Quake Diffifculty scene... RANMA: That was a scene? > He began to feel RANMA: ... nauseous that he was in-- AKANE: You did that one already. RANMA: Aww, man... > all over his chest and RYAN: ... discovering he had breasts, he decided to never leave his room again... AKANE: RYAN! Eww! > the rest of > his body RYAN: I'm too sexy for my body, too sexy for my body... whoops I've got to go potty... > as he removed the rest of his clothing. RYOUGA: That whole scene hurt... RANMA: I don't think we're even halfway done... > He ran his hands > through his developing pubic hair RYAN: Waitwaitwait, WAITASEC!! AKANE: Ryan... remember, just smile and nod... RYAN: No! Not this time! Lion-o is like what?! 20?! And he's *JUST* developing pubic hair?! I will NOT believe this! UKYOU: Ryan... think about what you're arguing about. RYAN: Uh... ARGH! Damn you, CATS! > and all over the shaft of his cock. > He heard a knock at the door RANMA: Damn maid... Didn't you see the "Do not Disturb" sign?! RYAN: On second thought... come on in! I've got something that needs a spit shine--OW! AKANE: (holds mallet-sama above Ryan's head) Tone it down, buddy. > and quickly pulled his pants back > up. *DAMN!* he thought RYAN: I *told* Tygra that I'd meet him in the showers at *9:00!!* AKANE: That's it! (hefts the mallet up and smashes Ryan into his seat) RYAN: Urk... > as he went to open the door. Standing outside > was Pumyra. UKYOU: But if she was standing outside, then who was at the door? RANMA: Hmm, looks like somebody's got your sense of direction, Ryouga! RYOUGA: Grr... shut up! > She had just came RYAN: (waking up slightly) Oh darn! I had just changed these pants, too! AKANE: ECCHI!! *WHAM* RYAN: (slumps down in his seat, knocked out) > from a work out with Bengali and Cheetara RANMA: Hello, Lion-o! I--what? I've got something white around my mouth? Um... would you believe it was butter? No... then how about cream cheese? AKANE: (holds the mallet over Ranma's head) You'd better tone it down as well! RANMA: I'll be good! > but she wanted to check on Lion-o before she went to her room. RYOUGA: Check. Well, he's in his room. Now I can release the cyanide into the air vents and kill them all! UKYOU: Do you have a flashlight in your dark, little world, Ryouga-kun? > "Hello Pumyra" Lion-o said as he looked at her sweating body. > > "Hey Lion-o. Just thought I'd check on you before I went to my room" she > said as she wiped the sweat from her face. While doing that she noticed > that Lion-o was hard, he was trying hard to cover it up. AKANE: Run on, mighty sentence. Be free and destroy that which is known as proper sentence structure! RYAN: (wakes up) You know, Akane, pretty soon you'll succumb to the dark side and star giving cool comments. AKANE: Never! RYAN: You must give in. For I am your father's daughter's fiancee's friend's girlfriend's friend. AKANE: And what exactly does that make *us*? RYAN: MSTing partners. (pause) That didn't come out like I wanted it to... Your father's... right... daughter's... Akane... fiancee's... that's Ranma... friend's... Ryouga... girlfriend's... Ukyou... friend... that's me. Hey! I *DID* say it correctly! Everybody else just stares at him. > "Well uh I will see you later Lion-o" she said as she left. "Yeah uh > right" RANMA: She should've known the sulfuric acid was to the left and her room was to the right. (listens for a scream) Ah well, live and learn. UKYOU: Enjoying your stay with Ryouga? > he said, hoping she had not noticed his hard-on. RYAN: No, she was staring at your crotch because she liked the stitch work on your tights! > Wily Kit watched as Tygra quickly undressed himself as she ast RYAN: I *ast* why I'm stuck reading this thing... RYOUGA: You were groping for that one... RYAN: Yeah, well pretty soon Tygra's going to be groping--*THWAP* OW! AKANE: Zip it. > on his bed. She could not believe that she had agreed to have sex with > him when he asked her. RYAN: Ah-ha! I told you! AKANE: Alright, fine... RYAN: Hey, waitaminute... isnt' she like 11?!? UKYOU: Just smile and nod... > She really want RANMA: What she really really wants? RYAN: ACK! If you *EVER* mention that song AND/OR group again, I'm going to seriously hurt you! > Pantrho RYAN: Slutty sister of Panthro... get it? Pantr-*ho*? *THWAP* Ow... AKANE: Sicko... > or Lion-o's cock in > her pussy RYOUGA: (stares at the screen) RANMA: Uh oh, hard hat time... RYOUGA: CATS... idle question. *WHY* in everyone of your stories do you have the women as complete sluts who wish to screw every guy they know?! *AND* also you categorize guys as completely *hung*, to put it figuratively, studs who have NO problems in screwing guys OR girls?! Not to mention the fact you make a critical measurement of a guys *attribute* whenever they are introduced!! I mean, I know this is only fiction, but this is stretching it a bit too far! There *IS* such a thing as too much, and you've crossed that line, buddy! (stands up) IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY I SHALL SMITE THEE!! (breathes heavily for a second, then looks around) Whoops, sorry. (sits down) UKYOU: Nice rant... I give it an 8 and a half. > but she hadn't got any in a while RYAN: All she wants for Christmas is to get her groove on... AKANE: Ryan, I'm warning you... > that she had to pick > someone. She licked RYAN: (stands up) I can't take anymore! I'm licked! RANMA: (pulls him back down) Oh, no you don't. If we have to suffer through this, so do you! > the feel of a big, thick RYOUGA: Burger... mmm... Cheeseburger... > dick RYAN: Hey, I bet we can link this to Bill Clinton. RANMA: What do you mean? RYAN: You know, how you can link any one person or thing to another person or thing? RANMA: Oh, so we've got Dick. UKYOU: Then Dick Tracy. RYOUGA: Then Richard Nixon, AKA Tricky Dick. AKANE: Then Watergate. RANMA: Then White Water. RYAN: And finally Bill Clinton! RANMA: So what does the whole thing mean? RYAN: Actually, I don't know. > inside of her and > Tygra just wasn't what she was looking for. AKANE: Oooh, harsh. RYOUGA: Woohoo! You're on your way to redeeming yourself CATS! > Tygra finished pulling off > all of his clothes and walked over to the bed. He kissed her on the lips > and pulled down her top. RYOUGA: And your redemption just crashed and burned! > He began to lick one of her nipples while pulling down her skirt. He slipped a finger into her already wet pussy. RYAN: Sooner or later, bad lemons look like the same thing. RANMA: What's that? RYAN: Cage liner. > She moaned silently UKYOU: If she did that silently, then that's not a moan. AKANE: Just smile and nod... > and he kept on fingering her. RYAN: Yes, *SHE* killed Col. Mustard in the Library with the candle stick! > He pushed her down on > the bed and moved his head down her body. RYOUGA: Wow, I didn't know his head was detachable. > He licked her navel and she > giggled. UKYOU: (giggles) Wrong spot, doofus! > He kept his movement, RANMA: It's my movement! You can't have it! > coming RYAN: You dork! You didn't even start with me yet! AKANE: RYAN! RYAN: Come on! It was *way* out in the open and *asking* for it! > upon the lips of her cunt. She > moaned, anticipating his tongue in her pussy. RYAN: (raising his hand) Oooh! Oooh! AKANE: No puns having anything to do with cats or tongues. RYAN: D'oh! > He proceeded to lick her > outer lips, enjoying their sweet taste. RYAN: Hmm... on second thought, it tastes like-- UKYOU: You dare to complete that thought and we *WILL* hurt you. RYAN: --chicken... (looks at them) What'd you think I was going to say? > Wily Kit spread her legs more to > give Tygra better access to her pussy. She moaned louder as she felt his > tongue slip further in her wet cunt. RYAN: (raises his hand) OOOOOH!! PLEASE!! AKANE: No! RYAN: (sulks in his seat) Aww man... > He slid his tongue over her clit and > she shudder to the feel. UKYOU: Dammit! Pick a tense and stick with it! > She moaned continously RANMA: Anybody keeping track of the typos? RYOUGA: Lost count a long time ago... > as he licked her clit. > He all of the suddenly stopped eating her. AKANE: Wow... I didn't think they were into canabalism! > "Why did you stop?" she said. RYAN: You've gone sour! I'm going to get the chocolate syrup! > "Do you like it?" he questioned. UKYOU: No, I was doing all that moaning and squirming for calisthenics, you idiot! > "YES!" she moaned. UKYOU: I still say exclamation points and moaning don't go together. > "Well then suck my > dick" he said as he placed his dick at her mouth. He slapped it against > her cheek lovingly. RYAN: I'm gonna huff, and puff and--MPHFFML!! AKANE: (holding Ryan's mouth shut) Just keep it up and see what happens... > She hesitated, not wanting to really suck his dick. > She opened her mouth slightly and he forced his dick in her mouth, almost > chocking her. RANMA: This story is *chock full of nuts*... RYOUGA: RANMA! RANMA: What? RYOUGA: Think about what you just said! RANMA: (thinks) ...full of nu--EW! (smacks himself) > She got used to it and began licking all over the head. AKANE: Wow, it's mutated and now it has a head! > He moaned and howled Everybody imitates a wolf howling at the moon. > as she began sucking on his dick. She even sucked > on his balls RYAN: He's got his balls to the-- UKYOU: We did that one already. RYAN: Dang! > a couple of times to make him feel good. RYAN: Unfortunately, it *didn't* please him. So Tygra took out his whip... Everybody else: (groans) Oh, *THANKS* for that image! RYAN: (smiles) Happy to be of service! > He couldn't hold > it anymore RYOUGA: She cannae take anymore, Captain! She's gonna blow! > and he began to cum all over Wily Kit. RYAN: Modern art... that is not... > He shot her in the > face several times RYOUGA: With an AK-47. He was soon captured and executed, and the Thundercats left Third Earth in shame. The end. UKYOU: I'm *really* gonna have to give you some therapy after this... RYOUGA: Therapy? UKYOU: (gives him a *look*) YOU know... *therapy?* RYOUGA: (thinks for a moment, then grins) OH! Therapy! Everybody else: Take it to a room! > before she moved his dick away from her face. She > quickly wiped off the sperm and Tygra stood to hid feet. RANMA: Hey! Wily-kit! Where the hell did you put my feet?! > "Wait! Aren't > you going to fuck me!" Wily Kit said with a hint of anger in her voice. > Tygra turned around in shock. RYAN: Why do I have the feeling when it comes to brains, Tygra's about a quart low? > He didn't know that Wily Kit was so graphic > with her talking. AKANE: We didn't know either. What's more, we didn't *WANT* to know!! > He began to walk back to the bed. > Tygra opened his drawer next to his bed and > pulled out a condom. AKANE: Kami be praised, a condom makes it into a story! RYAN: Big freaking whoop, ya know they're not getting preggers unless it's essential to the story! > He slipped the condom on his penis and got on the > bed. He begins to finger Wily Kit's pussy once again. RYOUGA: Pick a tense and stick with it! Please! RANMA: No matter how many times we comment on grammar, it'll never improve, will it? UKYOU: Probably not. > She moans to the > feel of something in her cunt. RYAN: She moans to the... what the hell?! > She enjoyed his hands slipping over her > clit. RYAN: Is anybody reminded of a slip 'n' slide? Everybody else: No... RYAN: Ok, then it's just me then. > After a while of finger fucking, Tygra decided it was time for > Wily Kit to handle his rod. AKANE: We've got an apprentice fisherman on our show today, and now we'll see how she handles my rod. (pauses and slaps a hand over her mouth) Eeep! RYAN: Welcome to the Dark Side. > He removed his fingers from her pussy and > replaced them with his dick. RANMA: (rereading that last sentence) He took off his fingers and replaced them with... wait wait... he took out his fingers and replaced her... wait... I don't get it. RYOUGA: Welcome to the club. > He carefully guided inch-by-ich of his > dick into her wet, slippery cunt. RYAN: Inch by inch, step by step, day by day... these are the trials of the MSTers. Their goal: To riff where nobody, at least not yet, has riffed before! AKANE: Lemon Trek: The Worst Degeneration. > She moaned from slight pain but she > was enjoying her fuck. She enjoyed the feel of his dick sliding in and > out of her. Tygra began to speed up his pace, RYAN: (singing) When I say boom boom boom, then we'll bang bang bang... AKANE: (thwaps Ryan) Be quiet! RYAN: (rubbing his head) Ow... > grabbing Wily Kit's hips > to control himself. RYOUGA: (Chekov) I'm losing control, Kiptin! RANMA: (Kirk) You... stereotypical... twit! Work... harder damn... you... RYOUGA: (Chekov) Personally, Kiptin, you talk like a dork. RANMA: (Kirk) Says... you, speaking... with a fake... accent! RYOUGA: (Chekov) Well, at least my hair is real! RANMA: You want some of this, you poofy haired ruskie?! RYOUGA: Bring it on, you over glorified weenie!! Akane and Ukyou thwap their respected love interests. UKYOU: Pipe down-- AKANE: --and finish the story! > He wanted this to last but it wouldn't. RYAN: He coulda been a contenda... now he's just a bum. > He liked > the feel of her small pussy gripping his dick. UKYOU: Dammit, Tygra! I said to stay away from my cat, ya sick freak! RYAN: ACK!! Artemis' Lover flashback!! (slams his head into his seat a few times) Phew, all better... > He felt a tightness in > his body RYAN: Followed by his heart stopping. Eating less fatty foods could have prevented this heart attack. AKANE: That wasn't funny! RYAN: Wasn't meant to be. I'm just trying to survive! > and then he let out a long roar. RYOUGA: This isn't an MGM movie! RYAN: Hmm. This is Thundercats, and not once has a Jaga reference been made. > He began to cum in her pussy. > After feeling his dick in her, Wily Kit also began to cum. RANMA: (rereads that last sentence) What the hell does he mean *after*?! You mean to tell me she was desensitized to the whole thing all that time?! > Tygra > withdrew his cock from her pussy and removed the condom. "BY JAGA!!! RYAN: Hmm, spoke too soon. RYOUGA: What the *hell* made me want to do that?! Now I'm going to get arrested for mol--mmmm? UKYOU: (holding Ryouga's lips shut) Don't finish that thought. > That was a gooooooodddddd RYAN: Hey look, it's Tony the Tygra! RANMA: No, because then it would have beeen Grrrrrr-reat! AKANE: Well, this fic is Drrrrrr-readful! > fuck Wily Kit. Your pussy sure is tight!" he said while throwing away the > condom. Wily Kit sat up slowly, recovering from her orgasm. She grabbed > her top and skirt and put them on. "So quick to leave Wily Kit" Tygra > said as he sat back on the bed. "I have things to do" she said as she > grabbed the rest of her things. She left his room and said nothing. RYAN: 5 to 10 says she's going to report him to child services. RANMA: But wasn't she the one who-- RYAN: Maybe she's getting paid for it. RANMA: Actually that sounds more like... (thinks for a moment, glances at Akane for a quick second) never mind. OSCAR: (over the loudspeaker) Ok, you've gotten through a third of the story, so you deserve a break. Now get out of here! RANMA: I ain't about to ask why! Let's move! And with that, they all ran out. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- In the longue, three podiums have been set up in the middle of the floor. Ranma, in a red gi, stood behind one podium. Ryouga, in a black gi, stood behind the second. And finally, Ryan, in a white gi, stood behind the third. Ukyou and Akane are sitting behind a table in front of the three podiums. AKANE: Alright! You've got to state your arguments about your favorite shotokan fighter, and make it count! The order will be Ranma, Ryouga, and finally Ryan. RYAN: Why am I last?! UKYOU: Because we're going in alphabetical order. RYAN: But then that would mean that I'm going second! AKANE: Really? Hmm... Ukyou and Akane huddle up for a few seconds, then-- AKANE: Our original order will stay. RYAN: Dammit! RANMA: Ahem, thank you! Sure, Ken Masters may seem flashy, but he is definitely without a doubt, the king of the dragon punches! His were the first to be multihit. His were the first to be flaming. And can we not forget the Shouryuureppa, or the very cool looking Shinryuuken?! Especially the Versus series version with the flaming column of death! And that's why I proclaim Ken as the best shotokan fighter. AKANE: Very good. Ryouga, it's your turn. RYOUGA: Thank you. Sure, Gouki might be evil. But he sure knows how to dish out the pain! Ken may have the Shouryuureppa, but Gouki has the Messatsu Gou Shouryuu to counter it! Plus it hits and hurts more! He was the original fighter to have an air fireball, which was very useful in combos. And, the move that *IS* Gouki: The Shun Goku Satsu. You get hit with this, bye bye. 'Nuff said. UKYOU: Thank you, Ryouga. And now, Ryan, it's your turn. RYAN: Well, I'm kinda glad I'm going last because my argument is the longest. Let's look at the history of Street Fighter, shall we? Who was the main character? Ryu. Who has been in every Street Fighter game since? Ryu. Now, Ken is a cool alternative, and so is Gouki, but the fact of the matter is that Ryu is the better of the three. Ryu epitomizes-- RANMA: Stop using a thesaurus! RYAN: I'm not using a thesaurus, so shut up! Anyway, Ryu epitomizes Street Fighter. Ryu has a super version of all *three* shotokan moves: The Shinkuu Hadouken, the Shinkuu Tatsumaki-senpuukyaku, and the Shin-Shouryuuken. And if you still have an argument after that: I give you Marvel Vs. Capcom. They combined all three characters moves into one person. Who was that person? RYU!! Hah! Suck on that! UKYOU: Well, after that bold argument, for now we'll have to say Ryu is the best character. AKANE: Of course, that's just for now. OSCAR: Alright people! The rest of the story is starting up! Get in there! RYAN: Aww, damn! They all run back into the theater. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Bengali walked in the feilds AKANE: Grammar, that is not. UKYOU: Yeah, he forgot the I before E poem again. RYOUGA: (singing) The fields are alive... with the sound of music... RYAN: Actually, with the way this story is going, I thought it'd be more alive with the sounds of schtupping. > outside of > Cat's Lair. He admired all the grass and he sat down. It was pretty > late so he thought no one could see him. RANMA: Won't he be surprised when he sees himself on Third Earth's Funniest Home Videos. > He pulled his pants down and his boxers down. He pulled out his dick and > began to play with his dick. RYAN: See Bengali sit. See Bengali strip. See Bengali wank. Wank Bengali wank. *THWAP* OW!! AKANE: You'll never tone down, will you? RYAN: It keeps me from going insane! > He hadn't got any pussy all week so he > needed to relieve himself. RYOUGA: There are better ways to take a wizz, my friend. > He began to masauge his balls and his dick > head. He admired all 9 inches of his cock. RANMA: Can I borrow your spatula, Ukyou? UKYOU: Sure, why? (hands it to him) RANMA: (takes aim and flings it at the screen full force, watches it bounce off) Damn! It was worth a shot! > He was happy it had grown > that extra 1.4 un the past month, RYAN: ... because now he could one up Lion-o and become the REAL leader of the Thundercats! His sword *is* bigger now after all! *THUD* OW!! RANMA: That was bad, even for my taste. RYAN: Great, now *he's* hitting me. AKANE: "un"? UKYOU: I guess he meant in. as in inches. > he felt that the girls or boys would go > crazy over a nine incher like his. RYOUGA: Would going crazy trying to figure out his sexual preference count? > He rememebered the first time Tygra > sucked his dick. RYAN: ARGH!! (breaks down sobbing) RANMA: (pats his shoulder) There there. (looks up) Now see what you did?! > It felt so good to have a mouth wrapped around his dick, sucking and > licking all of it's natures. RYAN: Tis the nature of this fanfic to cause nausea! > He almost came after thinking about that > experience. RYAN: But the feeling came and went... > He heard some moaning and carefull AKANE: *Y*? RANMA: I don't know. Oscar hates us? AKANE: No, I meant he forgot a *Y*. That's supposed to be *carefully.* > walked towards the > direction of the sounds. When he got there he saw Wily Kat RYAN: Five to ten says he's getting lucky. > laying on > the grass getting fucked by Cheetara. RYAN: What'd I say?! RYOUGA: Oh, big whoop. After two stories by CATS, it's a universal constant. > He heard Wily Kat's moans as he > watched Cheetara move back and forth on his dick. UKYOU: And here we see the Cheetara picking the Wily Kat as her mate. Oh, look here, she's rubbing herself on him. Oooh, he looks frustrated. He can't get his rocks off... AKANE: Ukyou!! UKYOU: (shrugs) Hey, it seemed like a good one. > He watched as all 7 > inches of Wily Kat's impressive meat RANMA: I've got a hankering for a ham, salami and cheddar cheese sandwhich... > slide into Cheetara deep RYAN: Impact. RYOUGA: So, a comet is going to crash into the planet and hopefully bury this story? RYAN: Not likely, but it's nice to think about, isn't it? > pussy. > She moaned and hollered RYAN: (singing) If you can get your girl to holler, then we'll give you twenty dollars, and if you'll do it then don't bother, you insensitive bastard. RANMA: You know, that sucked. RYAN: Hey, this story is grinding on me. I'm trying here, alright?! > as he grabbed her hips and began to pump faster. AKANE: Wily kit... WILY KIT!! I'm not an oil well!! RYAN: Still doesn't mean he won't get a gusher. *THWAP* Ow! > "UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" RYOUGA: Jeez, I think he just had an aneurysm. > he heard Wily Kat scream as he began > to shoot his sperm into Cheetara's cunt. Bengali began to clap as he > watched them. RANMA: Congratulations, Cheetara. I've never known someone who could fake an orgasm like that. > They turned around in shock to see him standing there. RYAN: And then they'll invite him to join in on the fun. AKANE: Just be glad you're right, or else I'd be hitting you right now. > "Well that was a good performance you too" UKYOU: Hey, wait a minute? Who else was he talking to? RANMA: Maybe Lynx-o was making a cameo? RYAN: Why thanks! It's kind of hard to make those "waga-chaka waga- chaka" sounds like in real pornos. > Bengali said as he walked > over to them. He gave Wily Kat a good RYAN: Blow... AKANE: RYAN!! RYAN: ... to the head. What?! > slap RYAN: She's MY plaything! And you'd better remember that! *THWAP* Ow... AKANE: You're beginning to push the line... > on the ass RYOUGA: Hey, I didn't know they were into spanking. > and then walked > over to Cheetara. He slid his hand over her cunt lips. She moaned > slightly and he looked at her with a mischeif smile. AKANE: Ok, I call an end to grammar flames. RYAN: Oh, thanks! That just about kills half of our material! > "So you like when > I feel your cunt" AKANE: CATS, you little twerp!! Do you know how awful that word is to the female population?! > he said. All she did was moan in response. Wily Kat > started to get up but Bengali pushed him back down. RYAN: NO!! Don't go there!! RANMA: PLEASE-- RYOUGA: --DON'T!! > He removed the rest > of his clothes and began to suck on Wily Kat's dick. RYAN, RYOUGA, RANMA: ARGH!! UKYOU: Hey... is the screen smoking? AKANE: Huh? Lo and behold, the screen WAS smoking and throwing off sparks. (Fast Forward) > Bengali carefully slipped the finger out and ran it up her body. RYAN: Thing is making a cameo? RANMA: Hey! I think the VCR is short ciruiting! ALL: YAY!! (Short fast forward) > He jammed his dick inside of her cunt, making her jump to the feel. RYOUGA: Yeah, this story would make you want to jump... off a bridge. (Fast forward again) > He rammed his thick cock all the way, hitiing her cervix. She was moaning > and bucking with every slam. RYAN: Rapid fire riff! AKANE: Is I even close to T on the keyboard, because that was a glaring error. RANMA: Boy, Cheetara would be wild to bring to a basketball game! UKYOU: Hitting her cervix... jeez, CATS you sure know how to pick your scenes, don't you? (Fast... well, you get the idea.) > Wily Kat was hesitant but he fianlly went. He carefully slipped his > dick Cheetara's cunt, causing both dicks to slide in her. AKANE: Fhat the whuck?! UKYOU: HOLD UP!! RYAN: Uh... please tell me I'm reading that wrong. AKANE: No, you're not!! CATS, are you insane?! Don't you think that would be painful?! Sure, the vagina is made to stretch, but that's too damn much!! UKYOU: Yeah!! How'd *YOU* like to have two guys shoving themselves into the same place?! RANMA: Actually, as far as we know, CATS might. RYAN: Oh, dammit, I didn't need that image. Thanks alot!!! RYOUGA: Is it just me, or is the monitor catching on fire. HEY OSCAR!! OSCAR: (over the loudspeaker) Yeah, yeah! Just get out of here! I guess the monitor couldn't handle any more CATS. I'm going to have to put in a better constructed one. Until I do, you can leave. RANMA: Alright!! And out they run! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- We cut to a scene where Ryan is stitting at a computer, staring at the screen intently. Akane, clothes smoking slightly, walks up behind him. AKANE: Hey Ryan, whatcha doing? RYAN: Reading about lemon fanfics in general. (looks up) Whoa! What happened to you?! AKANE: Well, we were all feeling frustrated, so we decided to have a bit of fun in the Virtual Insanity room. RYAN: Why'd you name the holosuite that? AKANE: Why'd we name our temporary home Hentai Space? Anyway, it turns out Ukyou is pretty adept at using armed weaponry-- *FWOOSH* UKYOU: (off screen) Burn baby burn!! Flames are getting higher!! AKANE: --And now it seems flamethrowers. RYAN: (blinks) Oh. Anyway, I've found out there are actually a couple of catagories of lemons. AKANE: Really? Like what? RYAN: Well, there's the good lemon... hey, don't look at me that way, they exist. (clicks the mouse a few times, then points at the screen) Case in point: The Ranma nibun no ichi lemon series by Caroline Ann Seawright. As you can see, she proves that a lemon can have a plot, sex, and prove that romance can be put in as well. AKANE: (blushes a bit) Wow... that certainly is well written... and vivid. RYAN: (chuckles) Thought you'd like it. (starts clicking around some more) Another case in point: Sailor Mac and Mark Berger. They both write great Sailor Moon stories, but when they get together: Look out! You're looking at a story that just radiates love and affection. And it's a lemon too! AKANE: Boy, with what we're given, you'd expect all lemons to suck royally. RYAN: Yeah, that's the case. For every good one, there's 10 to 20 bad ones. AKANE: So, it's kind of a lost art, huh? RYAN: Yup, though Sailor Mac and Mark *are* trying to rescue it from the dregs that it's been brought to. And I say good luck to them! OSCAR: (over the loudspeaker) Oh people, the monitor is repaired, and I don't think we'll have another problem like THAT again. Unfortunately, the short circuit has caused a significant portion to be erased... RANMA: (walking on screen, hair {pig tail and all} poking straight up into the air) Really?! WOOHOO!! OSCAR: (over the loudspeaker) ... But you've still got a bit near the end to read. RYOUGA:(walking on screen, clothes blown off all except for his right sleeve, bandanna, and his boxers) Damn you!! OSCAR: Whatever. Now into the theater!! RYAN: Oh... WE'VE GOT CONTINUED FANFIC SIGN!! Everybody else: D'OH!! And so, everybody ran *back* into the theater. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- RYAN: Hey, where's Ukyou? UKYOU: (walks in) Hi guys! RYOUGA: Ukyou, just where'd you learn to shoot like that? UKYOU: Hey, a girl has gotta have a hobby, doesn't she? RYAN: Remind me never to get her mad. > Pumyra was fingering herself furiously, AKANE: So, she was giving herself the finger? > dying to cum. RYOUGA: Alright, the fic is over! RANMA: We wish... > She dreamed RYAN: Of Lion-o with the foot-long dog... *THWAP* OW! AKANE: Watch it. > of having Bengali's dick fucking inside of her wet cunt. She would be > happy just to suck his sweet, thick dick. UKYOU: Lollipop, lollipop, oh lolly lollipop... > She had the doors locked in the control room so no one would interupt her. AKANE: (pulls a dictionary from hammerspace) Yup, that should be two R's in *interrupt.* > She then began to dream of having Lion-o dick in her vagina. RYAN: AHA! I was right!! AKANE: Still didn't mean it was a good thing to say. > When she asw RYOUGA: Ok, how many here think CATS was trying to type really fast but just managed to mess himself up? RANMA: I'm trying to figure out why he couldn't see these awful typos in the first place! RYAN: One of the first rules of writing: Never post your draft copy. > how long and hard it was in his pants, she became instantly wet. AKANE: Oh brother, what a cliche. RYAN: Eh? AKANE: Oh, just the fact that in every one of these awful things they have women always *dripping wet* or something like that. > She > was getting close to cumming, dreaming of her two dream boys. All of > the sudden the doors of the control room opened RYAN: And to your left we have the Thundercats' kitchen. And in the control room... is a real life Thundercat moaning and squirming on the floor. Enjoy the show folks. > and in walked Wily Kat. > He couldn't believe what he was seeing. UKYOU: Oh, stop patronizing us with that lie! We know fully well what's gonna happen! > Pumyra in the control chair with > her skirt down, fingering herself. RANMA: Ranma wearing his chinese clothes, wanting to fall unconcious. AKANE: Akane in a sundress, thinking about killing Oscar. RYOUGA: Ryouga in his travellers' outfit, trying to keep down his lunch. UKYOU: Ukyou in her chef's outfit, knowing CATS is a sick bastard. RYAN: Ryan in a t-shirt and jeans, wishing he was home. > She quickly tried to pull her skirt > up RYAN: Waitaminute. If she was fiddling with herself-*WHAP* OW!! AKANE: Try re-wording that. RYAN: Ok, if she was... um... playing with herself, then wouldn't her skirt already be up? > but Wily Kat told her not to bother. After Wily Kat's entrance came > his twin sister Wily Kit. RYAN: You just had to call an end to grammar flames, didn't you, Akane? > She smirked, knowing what her brother was > thinking. RYAN: (whispers to the others) Here's what I'm thinking. How about we close our eyes and play twenty questions? RYOUGA: Good idea! Everybody shuts their eyes. UKYOU: I guess I'll go first. Ryan, have you ever had a girlfriend? RYAN: Ugh... no, I haven't. I just haven't had time. RANMA: AKA No one wants to go out with him. *THWAP* OW! RYAN: Shut up! Now, Ranma, why do you call Akane uncute? RANMA: Um... AKANE: Yeah, why do you? RANMA: Uh... RYOUGA: Speak up, Ranma, we can't hear you. RANMA: Doh... I only call her that because she always insults me first! AKANE: Yeah, well you deserve it! RANMA: Whatever, it's my turn. Ryouga, if I splashed you with water, would anything happen? RYOUGA: Uh... RANMA: Shall we see? RYOUGA: Grrr... DIE RANMA!! Leaping over Ryan, Ryouga tackled Ranma to the ground and started slamming his head into the floor. Ryan not wanting to be left out, stood up in his chair and lept into the fight. UKYOU: So, they're at it again, huh? AKANE: Yup. UKYOU: So... should we stop them? AKANE: Hmm... nah. (a few minutes later) Ranma and Ryouga are now taking weak punches at each other, trying not to pass out from exertion. Ryan is sprawled upside down under the screen. UKYOU: Well, that was certainly entertaining. RYAN: (looking up) Hey! It's over! AKANE: Ah, finally. Come on, let's get out of here. And with a certain sense of triumph, they dragged themselves out of the theater. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Akane stood in the middle of the lounge, wearing an orange leotard and a blonde wig. AKANE: Oh, ho hum. It sure is boring. Hmm, I wonder what Lion-o is doing... With that said, Ranma strolls by wearing a replica of Lion-o's outfit complete with a red, wind swept wig. RANMA: Ah, you called, baby? AKANE: Oh yeah. Is that your sword, or are you just happy to see me? RANMA: Well, a little from column A, and a little from column B... They both pause for a second, then look off screen and to the left. AKANE: I'm feeling *really* stupid doing this. RANMA: Yeah! What's the point of this?! RYAN: (walking on screen) To prove to the readers just how stupid that whole story was. RYOUGA: But I thought the story would have done that by itself. UKYOU: Yeah, and our riffs should have helped them see that too! Ryouga and Ukyou walk in looking like Wily Kat and Wily Kit respectively. RYAN: Alright, so I wanted to make you dress in those stupid outfits. Hee hee... bye!! The rest of the group, look at each other, then high-tail it after Ryan with threats of purple nurples and atomic wedgies. --------------------- (Subterra 69) In the evil sub-lair of the subversive, sub-evil, sub... something Oscar, he was busy... buffing his nails. OSCAR: Oh darn, they still haven't been driven insane yet. Maybe CATS just isn't the author to do it after all. He pressed a button on his throne and a screen popped up. Pressing a few other buttons, he perused the screen. OSCAR: Hmm, what else do I have? (notices something) Huh... hey. This *just* might do it after all! Oh-hohohohohohohohoho! Hmm, I have to thank Kodachi for teaching me that laugh. Now, where are my playthings? Meanwhile, Felicia and Artemis are clinging to the ceiling with their claws. ARTEMIS: I don't know how much longer I can stay up here. FELICIA: Remember our bet, first one to fall sleeps with Oscar for a week! ARTEMIS: I suddenly feel invigorated! FELICIA: Hmph, I thought so. OSCAR: (down below) Artemis! Felicia! Where are you two?! ARTEMIS: I wanna go home. FELICIA: Me too, Artemis, me too... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Oh my God! That one sure took a long time! If it wasn't finals, then I was doing something else. If it wasn't that, I was sleeping all the time. But, it's finally done! This is my biggest MST yet! The authors that I mentioned up there have written some actual stories that were lemons! Believe me, they're good reading material. Anyway, to view my MSTings and many other excellent ones, Go to Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings at http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/4007/MSTings.html You'll be glad you did!! This MSTing is dedicated to Melanie, my girlfriend who has given me much help in pre-reading my MSTings and stories, a whole bunch of friends who I throw these on and they still have yet to tar and feather me (I guess they like them! ^_^ Emoticons are our friends! When not overused that is... ), and to the GOOD fanfiction writers out there! These people prove that one can take a series and make a good contribution to it. I salute thee and the net thanks you for your wonderous work! You can all reach me at WHolden535@AOL.COM to tell me how I'm doing. And if you're interested, catch my website at http://members.aol.com/WHolden535/ wacky1.htm! It hasn't been updated since around January, but I'm going to break down and update it... one day. Jaa na, minna-san! MST3K is copyright of Best Brain's inc. Ranma 1/2 is property of Rumiko Takahashi. Sailor Moon is property of Naoko Takeuchi. And Darkstalkers is property of Capcom. "He enjoyed to feel the length of his 8 inches, pulling at his balls"