The author of this story has given me permission to post this. That does not mean he agrees with anything that I have written, just that he has a sense of humour and is a good sport. Artmic and Youmex of course own BGC, and 'Those Eyes' belongs to its Author, and the commentators belong to me. And the MST concept belongs to someone else as well (how is that for legal talk?). Since I have been reading a lot of his work lately to get a feel for this form of writing, I'd like to thank Michael Surbrook. I have found his writing to be very entertaining. This is done for the purposes of humour and should not be taken too seriously. Let's begin. (The Scene: A living room, with several chairs and a couch, there is a bar in the far corner--it looks to be well stocked. The room is decorated in questionable style, steel and glass with a sixties motif that is best not thought about. Ree and Elenoin are sitting on the couch, watching the liquid-crystal screen on the wall. Elenoin is dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief. Domino Enters.) Domino: You started without me? That is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Ree: (Still looking at screen) Cool your jets. This is not fanfic. It's Orange Road, 'I Want to Return to that Day'. Kyosuke has just shredded Hikaru's heart. Domino: (Smiles) One of my favourite parts. (Moves up and takes a seat between Elenoin and Ree.) Elenoin: Why doesn't he take an umbrella to Hikaru? Ree: Because Hikaru is a stalker. Domino: He's got to lay down the law, crush her heart, and send her on her way. You know, this was the first time I respected Kyosuke. Ree: You would. Elenoin: Quiet, I want to watch this. (Scene: All three watch until the movie ends.) Elenoin: It was bittersweet. Ree: I'd step on Hikaru's heart for a chance with Madoka. Elenoin: You know, Kyosuke is kind of cute, and nice, and cool in his own way. Domino: I don't think cool is a word I'd use for Kyosuke. Hikaru has potential, however. Ree: (Looks critically at Domino) Bit too much time doing Cream Lemon Domino? Domino: I meant as an operative. She'd be able to get close to her target, and then bam! Dead before they know it. Ree: You are a twisted woman Domino. Maybe that is why I like you? Elenoin: Hikaru would never do anything like that. Domino: I suppose that is true. Maybe a boomer constructed like her. We could advertise it as 'Stupid, yet Deadly'. Elenoin: That is cruel. Ree: But fitting. Domino: I guess the fanfic will begin soon. Ree: Well, at least we got to watch something good first. Elenoin: (Looks at the screen) It is starting. Ree: Why don't we have to start a tape or something? Domino: They've got a couple of servers in the backroom, with 800 Gigs of Duplexed drives. They use a wireless bridge to connect to the screen. I think they were afraid we'd break a VCR if given a chance. Elenoin: Smart producers. A BGC MST by Shawn Hagen Domino: Who had better not ever think about writing himself in here if he knows what is good for him. (Cracks her knuckles). >A little feedback would be nice. ^_^ This is very short. It wouldn't take you long to read it. Domino: And yet it may seem like forever. Ree: (Bouncing happily on the couch) He asked for feedback. You heard him, he asked for it. >This story is for fun and not profit. All characters are copywrited to Artmic / Youmex / Bandai Visual / AIC / AnimEigo. Domino: What if it is not fun? Elenoin: Then it is neither fun, nor profitable. Ree: Kind of like a Madonna movie. >------ >THOSE EYES >------ >by linnafan@webtv.net Ree: Shift key broken? Domino: Look, the author is yelling at us. >From the personal diary of Linna Yamazaki... Ree: As opposed to the diary of Linna, which is not personal at all. >January 5, 2035 >Dear Diary, Domino: (Linna Imitation) I finally met a man with great, big, flipping wadges of cash. Have quit the Knight Sabers and am setting off to become a trophy wife. My dreams have finally come true. Elenoin: The End. Ree: Hallelujah. And so in character. >I know it has been a long time since I wrote in you. Ok, it hasn't been since right before my dance try outs. I guess you reminded me too much of what I couldn't be. Ree: A writer? Domino: Well, it certainly would remind her of that. > I am writing in you today, because I wanted to record the events that happened to me recently. Ree: (Linna Imitation) Some guy came up and offered me lots of money to star in a fanfic. While I was not sure of the quality my baser nature got the better of me and I signed a contract. Now I'm stuck in it. Domino: (Linna Imitation) Priss, Sylia and Nene all were smart enough to get a look at the script first and so are not here. Lucky bastards. >We were on a mission during the day, which was unusual, Elenoin: Because we have all become vampires. > because lately Sylia has only been accepting night jobs. Ree: Maybe it is Sylia who is becoming the vampire. Domino: I hope not. Ree: You'd have to be careful not to tell her to bite you, that's for sure. > She seems to be reverting again. Ree: She is returning to her base components. Elenoin: That sounds unpleasant. > Becoming distant again. Domino: And when was she not distant? Ree: Scoop Chase? Elenoin: Crash? Domino: (Frowns) I suppose. >Any ways, we were attacked by a couple of C class boomers Domino: Any ways, we were nuked by the Chinese... Ree: Any ways, they dropped an orbital habitat on us... Elenoin: Any ways, we were fired at by a buster cannon... > and I just finished up the first one, when I hear, "NO!". Domino: No! Don't kill that boomer. It has a right to live. Ree: Ah, someone from PETB. Elenoin: PETB? Ree: People for Ethical Treatment of Boomers. > I turned around to see who had called out, when I'm suddenly shoved down by this man with - those eyes. Domino: (Betty Boop Voice) Jeepers, creepers, where'd you get those peepers... Ree: Shoved down while wearing a hardsuit? Open fanfic, insert self. Elenoin: It may not be a self-insertion. Ree: We'll see. > Those eyes, they were innocent. Loving. Loving towards _me_. Ree: Hot damn. It's Jesus. Finally, a BGC/New Testament crossover. Domino: Do you think the Son of God will get a hardsuit? Ree: He'll no doubt build his own. Elenoin: And the Knight Sabers will become his new disciples. Domino: (Lame Jesus Imitation) Priss, thou shall deny me thrice before the cock crows. Ree: (Priss Imitation) Is this a pick up line? > I don't know why, but I thought all of this as I saw his chest torn open by the other boomer's mouth laser. Domino: Sounds almost as if the mouth cannon jumped out, and then went up to rip this guy's chest apart. > Right in front of my eyes. I wanted to stop it, but I couldn't. I couldn't do anything. Ree: You know, I'd accept that of Nene. > The damage had already been done. Sylia quickly disposes of the boomer Ree: In a recycling bin. > and all I could think about was - those eyes. Domino: (Singing) Those eyes. > I held the man that saved my life in my arms. Elenoin: You know, I can't help but think that if this guy had not jumped in there he'd not be dying and Linna would never have been in any danger. Ree: Nothing suggested that Linna ever was in danger. I mean, this guy hits her from behind, so the boomer could not have been behind her. Anywhere else and you know Linna would have been able to deal with it. Domino: So it is all his fault. Let him die. And if he lives, sue him. Ree: Spoken like a Genom executive. > Then he moved and opened -those eyes. Ree: Using that dash to separate out most incidents of 'Those eyes' is getting to be a little annoying. >Those eyes looked at me with love and all I could think was Domino: (Linna Imitation) I wonder if he has any money? >we could save him. We had to. Ree: Yea, the Knight Sabers are so well known for being able to save people. Elenoin: Just ask Irene. Domino: Or that kid's mother. Elenoin: Or Anri and Sylvie. >I called for the others to help him. Then rested his head in my lap Domino: Leaving his body several feet away. > and stroked his forehead. Elenoin: (Bad Linna Imitation) With my Knuckle Bomber. Ooopsie. >He tried to talk and tell me not to worry. Ree: Which was difficult without lungs. > I shushed him with my finger Domino: Knocking out several teeth. Damn! It is hard to comfort people while wearing a suit that amplifies your strength. >and looked at his wound. It began to heal and close. Ree: Wow, Linna can look at wounds and make them heal! Domino: She was right, she can save him! Elenoin: And once she has used her healing spells the cleric can enter combat, fighting with a mace and protected by plate-mail. > Once it closed, he took a few ragged breaths and then one large one. Domino: Put those back! > He looked at me with - those eyes. Those eyes looked at me with compassion and love. Ree: Yes, compassion, love, we get the picture. Domino: (Produces an envelope) And the winner of the use of the most redundancies is.... >Then he said, "I am going to take a nap now, please don't take offense." Ree: (Eyes Guy Imitation) And don't take my wallet either. >Those eyes closed Elenoin: I get this picture of just a giant set of eyes. >and the others stared at me and him, because they saw what I saw - a man healed of a fatal wound. Ree: Then I guess it wasn't fatal. >Sylia said, "I want to study him." Elenoin: What, has Sylia suddenly become Washu? >"No!" I exclaimed back. Ree: Yes! Domino: No! Ree: Stop! Domino: Go! Ree: (Singing) You say goodbye and I say hello. >"If I don't and we leave him here, then someone else will. At least you can watch over him whilst I do it." Ree: Whilst? Domino: Sylia Stingray's dialogue supplied by William Shakespeare. >I nod with a wince, hugging the man that saved my life. Elenoin: Crushing his ribs. Damn this hardsuit! > All I could think about was those eyes. Those eyes, they looked at me like I was a star shining during the day. Ree: So, they looked at her like she was the sun? Domino: Blinking and watering and eventually going blind. Elenoin: How romantic. >We went to the garage, where Sylia wanted to test him. Domino: Priss suggested a hospital, but Sylia would not be dissuaded. Ree: They opened his hood and checked his timing. Elenoin: Along with an oil-change and a twenty point inspection. All: For only three thousand yen! > She lay him down and strapped him to the bed like he was Domino: Nene! Elenoin: Sylia and Nene into B&D? I think not. > a criminal. Ree: You know, if that is how Sylia deals with criminals, I might think of doing some shoplifting at the Silky Doll. Domino: You would have to get in line behind Mackie. Elenoin: And a percentage of the male population of MegaTokyo I suppose. Ree: And some of the girls. > I watched from the observation booth, while Sylia poked, stuck, probed, Elenoin: With just a little work this could become a lemon. Domino: (Sylia Imitation) Okay, who wants to help me get a sperm sample? Ree: (Nene Imitation) Oh, me, pick me! Domino: (Mackie Imitation) No, me, pick me! Elenoin: That is sick. I'm sorry I ever mentioned it. > and scanned with everything her techno-organic brain could think of. Ree: Sounds like she keeps her techno-organic brain in a jar, on a desk, and talks to it. Domino: It is important that we are told that Sylia has been modified? Elenoin: No it isn't. Ree: I know that, and you know that, and I know that you know that I know that, and... Domino: Is this going anywhere? Ree: Probably not. > I placed my hand on the glass and rested my forehead on the back of it. Ree: Good trick, resting her head on the back of the glass. Domino: Do you think she slammed her head through the glass so as to manage that? Elenoin: No, she has just become Ryoko and simply passes through it. Domino: If Sylia is Washu, and Linna is Ryoko, who is going to be Tenchi? Ree: (Yelling) There is no need for Tenchi! Domino: (Wincing) I walked right into that one. > I stared at him, so peaceful. Ree: Was it Linna's stare that was so peaceful? > He doesn't know the tortures he is going through, Domino: He doesn't know what tortures we are going through. Elenoin: If you are unaware that you are being tortured, is it really torture? Ree: If you can answer that, you shall find enlightenment. > but all I could think about was - those eyes. Those eyes, when they looked at me, they had a feeling of amazement, Ree: Here, feel these eyes. Domino: They have a feeling of amazement. Elenoin: Where did you get those things? Ree + Domino: (Singing) Jeepers, creepers, where'd we get these eyes... Elenoin: (Shifting away) You two are weird. > like I wasn't truly real and alive, Domino: And then Dr. Freud, suddenly I felt like I wasn't real. Elenoin: (Austrian Accent) Well, why don't you tell me about your mother? > as if I was a figment of someone's imagination. Ree: (British Accent) There are an infinite number of worlds, as space is infinite. Only a finite number of these are habitable. A finite number divided by an infinite number is so close to zero that it might as well be zero, so there are no habitable planets, and therefore no population. Any people you chance to meet are merely products of a deranged imagination. Domino: That's not how it goes. Ree: Like I want to be sued by Douglas Adams. > Sylia finally finished her studies, but all she could come up with was that he Domino: Was a '57 Chevy! Elenoin: (Raven Imitation) I'm telling you Sylia, this is a human being, not a car. He should be in a hospital. Ree: (Sylia Imitation) Not a car you say? Then how do you explain the hubcaps? Elenoin: You glued those onto his hands and feet while he was unconscious. > possessed some kind of accelerated healing ability. Ree: Duh. Domino: (Sylia Imitation) I have come to the conclusion that he has an accelerated healing ability. Ree: (Priss Imitation) Which would explain why we saw him heal in an accelerated manner? Domino: But we have scientific proof of that. We can now believe it. Elenoin: Another idiot Sylia. >I sat beside his bed until he awoke and opened Domino: His fly? Ree: His mouth? Elenoin: The fridge door? > - those eyes. Those eyes stared at me with shock, like I was a dream who wouldn't be there after waking. Ree: Probably in shock that his wallet had not been stolen. Elenoin: Dreams usually are not there after waking. > He began to talk, and to tell me that he was from a different reality. Domino: That he was a self insert and that I should run while I could or I would end up falling in love with him, as would all the other Knight Sabers. Ree: And he would build his own hardsuit, several times better than anything Sylia could come up with. Elenoin: Or that he would exhibit psychic powers that would allow him to rip boomers in half. Domino: All in all it sounded terrible. >He starts from the beginning. Elenoin: What a crazy place to start. Domino: Well, first there was a big bang... Ree: and then the stars formed... Domino: and planets took form around those stars. Ree: Maybe he should start closer to the end? >He tells a tale of a wondering race doomed to extinction. Ree: What do you think they were wondering about? Domino: Why they were doomed to extinction? > He said that they were searching. Searching all inhabited planets in the galaxy for the right person. Ree: If I was looking for a person I would search inhabited planets as well. > A person with the right blood. Domino: Not the right DNA, just the right blood. It had to be red. > Their search ended with earth and they found him. Elenoin: Their search ended with dirt? > They extracted a part of his blood and cured their race. Ree: He of course died seeing as the right part of his blood was the red blood cells. > They offered him a reward of anything his heart desired. Domino: Can I have my red blood cells back? Gasp. > He asked if parallel realities existed and if it was possible to send him to one. They told him they did exist, but the traveler had to go through a change, a physical change, to withstand the trip. Ree: What parallel reality do you think he'll pick? Domino: Maybe one where everything is made of chocolate? Ree: I don't think this is Homer Simpson. > He agreed and was transported to this reality and searched for me. Ree: Linna! Domino: Linna Yamazaki! Elenoin: Oh where, oh where could she be? > Thank God he did. Ree: (Linna Imitation) Or I would not have been able to steal his wallet. Elenoin: Enough wallet jokes! > He told me that in his reality, I was one fourth of a cartoon mercenary vigilante group, and he fell in love with me when he saw me in it. Domino: (Linna Imitation) Wonderful, the great love of my life is a fan boy. Ree: Damn otaku, jumping into alternate realities in search of nookie. There ought to be a law. Elenoin: We need some commas, stat! >A normal person would consider this story to be the rantings of a lunatic and which should be discarded, Domino: Thankfully Linna is not normal. Ree: Just what should be discarded? Elenoin: The possibilities are endless. > but - those eyes. Those eyes looked at me with truth, they said his words were real. Domino: What sort of idiot would believe eyes? >I believed him. Ree: Survey says! >We started talking more and more. I became very fond of him - one might say I shared the same love he had for me. Elenoin: Does that mean that Linna is a narcissist? > One day, we took a walk and the moon was shining on - those eyes. Ree: It was a very odd moon. Moons usually reflect light and usually reflect that light on everything. And shining in the day is odd as well. Domino: (Eyes Guy Imitation) Ahh, there is a moon on my eyes! Get it off! > Those eyes stared at me with love and warmth. Ree: Sounds like there might be a little heater in those eyes. > We shared a passionate moment, we kissed. We walked back to my place and we made love. After, all I could think about was - those eyes. Domino: The sex must not have been very good. Elenoin: (Linna Imitation) I figured it out. You are nearsighted aren't you? Ree: Linna always wanted to be an optometrist. > Those eyes stared at me with love and admiration. They said wondrous things to me, Domino: Talking eyes. What will they think of next? > but this time something was different. It was as if they knew what was going to happen. Ree: Which would be standard for a self-insert. >The next morning, I went to my day job like I usually do. He came and visited me at work for the first time and brought me flowers. We went and had lunch together. On the way back, he clutched his chest in terrible pain, and I held him. Ree: Damn wasabi. > He looked at me with - those eyes. Those eyes, they said that his time was over and that he would die. Domino: And there was much rejoicing. > Those eyes, they stared at me with love and completeness, for he had been with the one he loved. Elenoin: He had gone off that morning and visited Priss. Ree: A lot of people would 'go off' after visiting Priss. Domino: Great, we're MSTing ourselves now. >I watched those eyes close and to never be opened again. Ree: Damn crazy glue. >I found out later that his heart couldn't handle the stress of Domino: Being in this fanfic? Ree: Damn my strong heart! >constant regeneration and simply stopped because of it. It has been a month since his death Domino: What, the self-insert is dead? Ree: Hallelujah! Elenoin: You know, this might be the best self-insert ever. Ree: If only more self-inserts followed this formula. Elenoin: Still, if his body was constantly regenerating, wouldn't that also heal the damage to his heart due to the stress? Domino: Yes, but then he would still be alive. You can see the problem. > and I don't know how to tell Sylia about my pregnancy. Domino: (Linna Imitation) Sylia, the rabbit died! Elenoin: (Panicky Sylia Imitation) It's not mine! > I don't care, I just hope the baby gets those eyes. Domino: Well, with genetic engineering we can certainly arrange that. Ree: First, we'll start with the brain. Now, of course you'll want us to change that considering the parents. Elenoin: Harsh. >------ >THE END >------ >Tell me what you think. Either reply or e-mail me at linnafan@webtv.net. Domino: I think we just did. Elenoin: Time to get serious. Domino: Do we have to? Elenoin: It is in the contract. Elenoin: (Puts on a pair of gold rimmed glasses with slim, rectangular lenses.) Domino: (Puts on a pair of round framed glasses.) Ree: (Puts on a pair of aviator sun-glasses.) Elenoin: (Accusingly) Those are not serious glasses. Ree: I got to be me. Domino: We saw a number of spelling and grammar mistakes. Ree: But this is a diary, so why would the writing be perfect? Domino: Okay, it is a diary, but it is also fanfic. The writer should leave in just enough mistakes to make it look real, but not so many that it makes it confusing to read. Elenoin: I think the diary of Linna would have been a perfect place to explore her character. She just found someone who loved her unconditionally, who she might have loved, and he died. She obviously needs someone to talk to and has chosen to talk to her diary. A lot could have been done with this premise. Ree: Agreed. I would prefer that the other dimensional lover were altered, make that character a little more mundane. That way we don't get bogged down in dimensional travel and can just focus on Linna. Domino: The fight scene was poorly laid out, and Sylia's Washu like examination of the eyes guy was not really needed. Elenoin: And it could be hinted at that he is from another dimension maybe, if the author thinks it is important. Nothing concrete mind you, just some things to get the reader thinking. Ree: And it would have to be longer. Linna is trying to figure out some important things here, it is going to take more than a few pages of her diary to do so. (Pauses) I think I'm done. Elenoin: I've nothing else to say. Domino: That is about it. Ree: There you go. A potential that was there but was never realised. The above might make a good starting point for a more in-depth examination of Linna's character. Domino: Assuming Linna... Elenoin: (Interrupts) Be nice Domino. We got to be mean already. Domino: (Sulks) Okay. Ree: Time to go? Elenoin: Lets. Domino: Where to this time? Elenoin: I know a nice bar on Addler. Ree: And we complained about people jumping into different realities. Domino: But we are doing it for drinking purposes. A long and noble tradition. Elenoin: Until next time. (Waves goodbye) All: Bye Bee. THOSE EYES by linnafan@webtv.net MST by Shawn Hagen (shawn-hagen@rogers.com) Other MSTs BGC Janus (1) BGC Those Eyes (2) BGC Dreams (3) BGC The Puppet (4) BGC The Next Generation (3 Parts)(5) BGC Sylia's Choice (6) BGC In the Midst of it All - Chapter 1 (7) BGC in the Midst of it All - Chapter 2&3(8) BGC in the Midst of it All – Rewrite (9) 'Bad Girls Riff Bad Fanfic'