Hiya, Here's the MSTing of Gundam: Trial by Fire. It's detailed...and it's detailed. *snore* It's also my first MSTing. Am I submitting this the right way? I sure hope so ^_^:; Briareos Mark Foster - foster@powerup.com.au, hygog@usa.net 'I wanna have a pure time everyone's a noble mind' - Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam opening theme MSTed by: Mark Foster - foster@powerup.com.au Original author: Marc McKenzie Appleseed is the creation of Masamune Shirow and is owned and copyrighted by Masamune Shirow, Seishinsha and Dark Horse. MST3K is copyright Best Brains Inc. Gundam 0081: Trial by Fire is the work of Marc McKenzie Before we start I'd like to apologise if there's any wacky formatting. I started out in notepad and moved onto wordpad when it ran out of memory. Also I couldn't find Marc Mckenzie's email address so I couldn't contact him beforehand. Marc, I hope you'll see this as a form of C&C. ----- On with the show! Mystery Science Appleseed Theatre 3000. Episode #1. [The scene is dark. Three figures lie on the floor unconcious. Suddenly the lights go on. The three figures are in a room where there is a table and several chairs and a giant view screen that is currently black. There is a window that shows a nice view of Earth from orbit. The screen fizzles to life showing a young woman wearing a lab-coat while a young man wearing normal clothes is behind her.] WOMAN: WAKE UP! (The three figures start stirring and sit up.] Figure 1: Huh... Hitomi? What the? HITOMI: (on view screen) Yes! It's me, Briareos. Bwahahahah! BRIAREOS: Huh? What's going on? Is this some kinda joke. [looks around] Sokaku? Fang? FANG: Ohhh my head. That's the last time I have a drink at one of Hitomi's parties. SOKAKU: Arr, I haven't had a hangover this bad since..err... Christmas. HITOMI: (on V.S) Bwahahhaha! [picks up clipboard] Look here [glances at clip board] 'Boobies'? Oh well! Look here boobies! I've got you captured. SOKAKU: You've got us captured? Why? YOSHI: (on V.S) Er, Hitomi had this idea to join the Mad Scientists club. In order to join it she has to do an Mad Scientist experiment. This was one of the examples they suggested to us. FANG: Example. Where the hell are we? HITOMI: (on V.S) In SPACE! Bwahahahah! I hired a satellite and we're going to subject you to bad fanfiction in an attempt to take over the world. FANG: How will bad fanction help you? HITOMI: (on V.S) Once I break your wills with the perfect piece of bad fanfiction I will force everyone to read it and become my slaves! BWAHAHAHAHA. [looks at Yoshi who isn't laughing] Laugh! [Both Hitomi and Yoshi laugh like a Mad Scientist and her assistant] BRIAREOS: How are you going to make everyone read it? [Both Hitomi and Yoshi stop laughing and look at each other in confusion.] HITOMI: (on V.S) I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. SOKAKU: So how are you going to US to read it? HITOMI: (on V.S) Simple, I'll suck the oxygen from the Satellite of Hitomi as I call it. BRIAREOS: But we can survive without oxygen for a short period. Enough for us to find the Oxygen reserves and turn 'em on. FANG: [whispered to Briareos] But I can't! BRIAREOS; [whispered to Fang] Don't worry, Hitomi is a bit slow. HITOMI: (on V.S) Curses! What shall we do, Yoshi? YOSHI: (on V.S) Errmm. [Both Hitomi and Yoshi look lost in thought for a moment. Hitomi looks like she just remembered something and rushes out of the room.] YOSHI: (on V.S) Um, Hitomi? [Hitomi rushes back in carrying several CDs. She places one in a CD player.] HITOMI: (on V.S) There! If you don't go into the fanfiction theatre then I'll play this music! [Briareos, Sokaku and Fang all look at the View Screen unimpressed.] HITOMI: (on V.S) Eat this boobies! [On the Satellite of Hitomi the P.A system speakers begin blaring 'My Heart will go on' by Celine Dion. Briareos, Sokaku and Fang all clutch their ears or audio sensors and scream.] SOKAKU: NOOO! Stop it! BRIAREOS: We give in! FANG: This is bad! [The music stops.] HITOMI: (on V.S) Good! I'm glad we got that sorted out! Now our first fanfic will be 'Gundam 0081: Trial by Fire' from Marc McKenzie. Into the theatre boobies! YOSHI: (on V.S looking through CDs) Whoa! Spice Girls. 5ive. Backstreet Boys. B*witched. Cherry. E17. Celine Dion. Barbera Streisland. Whoa! This some deep hurting! [Lights begin flashing.] SOKAKU: We've got the fanfic sign! BRIAREOS: What's a fanfic sign anyway? SOKAKU: The big flashing sign over there! [All three rush into the theatre. They sit down in order: Sokaku, Briareos and Fang.] >Note: work in progress > > Ah, another new school year has begun... > > The following story was floating around in my head for the last two or >three years. So, it was about time I let it out. Here it is.... SOKAKU: Now that you've let it out, why don't you put it back in again? BRIAREOS: Hopefully FOREVER! FANG: His head is the Pandora's Box of fanfiction. BRIAREOS: Yeah, the Violinest of Hameln kind. FANG: Remember hope is in Pandora's Box. > MOBILE SUIT GUNDAM 0081: Trial by Fire > by Marc Mckenzie. > > A side story based on the various movies, TV shows, OVAs, > and books of the Gundam universe. > > > PART 1: Incident in Space: March 21, 0080. BRIAREOS: Oh oh.. is this taking place around 'War in the Pocket'? Will we see a God-boy rewrite the ending? SOKAKU: 0080 took place around and after December 0079, you doofus Bri! FANG: Fanborg. SOKAKU: Shut up. > The One-Year War was over, _had_ been over for close to four months, >but BRIAREOS: Someone forgot to tell the soldiers! >the remnants of the great conflict still remained in orbit around the >Earth-- >the burned-out hulks of various Federation and Jion ships, shattered remains SOKAKU:--of Bri's last model kit. BRIAREOS: Yea- HEY! >of destroyed colonies, and wrecks of Mobile Suits--giant war machines FANG: 10 cm. tall. >resembling humanoid soldiers. The debris was spread far and wide, or >concentrated in the Shoal Zones near the five Lagrange Points around the >Earth. BRIAREOS: (singing) Shoals of colonys nibbling my toes. FANG: So is it spread far and wide, or concentrated? SOKAKU: I think the author means that normally the debris is spread far and wide but certain areas have tons of debris, due to the intense battles in certain areas. Solomon has tons and tons of wreckage since it's the site of the biggest battle in the One Year War. FANG: Fanborg. SOKAKU: Shut UP! > The Earth Federation had won the war, but at a terrible cost in men and SOKAKU: Tellytubbies. >machines. More than half of the Federation fleet had been wiped out by the SOKAKU: Looks like Fang has been eating baked beans again. FANG: HEY! >System Colony Laser, the final Doomsday weapon created by the fanatical >Giren >Zavi. Many more Federation ships had met their end at the Battle of >Abowaku, BRIAREOS: Or is that A-Bao-Quo? SOKAKU: How many romanisations of that name were there? BRIAREOS: About a billion. SOKAKU: Some Gundam romanisations are really weird, like 'Quatro Vagina'! FANG: You are sick. Thankfully we never see that romanisations in most fan-translations only in various Japanese books. >that final, decisive conflict of the One-Year War. BRIAREOS: They played Twister > With the war over, and with a new period of uneasy peace setting in, >the >difficult proccess of reconstruction began. The Jion Archduchy of Side 3 >reverted to the Jion Republic, for the Zavi family had all but perished in >the >war--or so it had seemed at the time. SOKAKU: Do-do-do-doodle do-do-do-doodle do-do-do-doodle! FANG: What the hell is that? SOKAKU: You know... that little bit of music they always play in spy movies. > The Federation faced an even greater >task. With only a handful of ships left from Abowaku, and with many veteran >pilots and officers dead, the beaurocrats at the EMF headquarters in Jaburo, >South America, ordered the first phase of a massive reconstruction effort. BRIAREOS: They ordered tons of Lego. FANG: [monotone German] I like Lego, they are like a million toys in one. >Much emphasis was placed on repairing damages to the Earth and to rebuild >the >EMF fleet. BRIAREOS: Obviously! What do you think a planet controlled by the 'elite' would do? Give money to the colonys and ignore their own home? SOKAKU: Wasn't the Colony Management Corporation independent from the Earth Federation? FANG: I don't know, why don't we check Mark Simmon's Gundam Project? http://gundam.anime.net BRIAREOS: Hey hey hey! I call the plugs here! > The effort began shortly after the Treaty of Granada (which had >ended the war) was signed on January 1, 0080. > The Sides were the areas most affected by the war, however. Made up of >groups of giant, thirty-kilometer long colony cylinders, the Sides had been >placed at the five Lagrange Points around the Earth where the gravity of the >sun, earth, and moon neutralized one another. There were seven in all, but >four had sufferred massive damages during the war. The EMF, battle weary >and >ever suspicious of the Jion Republic, decided to repair one of the colonies of >Side 4, located near Kompeii Island, which had formally been the Jion base >of >Solomon. The colony, Rutherford, was placed under Federation jurisdiction >on >February 14, 0080. BRIAREOS: Zzzzzz.... (Fang and Sokaku begin nodding off too.) HITOMI [over P.A System]: Wake up! (They contine dozing. Celine Dion's 'My Heart goes on' begins to play over the speakers.) ALL: [waking] AHHHHHH! (The music stops.) HITOMI: [over P.A] Don't fall asleep again! * * * * * * * * > The group of 100 EMF repair workers, dressed in orange normal suits, SOKAKU: As opposed to abnormal suits. FANG: They make Pop stars wear them. BRIAREOS: Raye would need one of them. >went >about their tasks of repairing the outer suface of the colony, but not >without >complaints. BRIAREOS: [as Random worker] Why do we have to pay for the Oxygen? SOKAKU: [as Random worker] Hey, we want ten minute working days! And only on even Fridays! > The colony's walls seemed to stretch to infinity, and one of its giant >mirrors loomed over the worker's heads like some ultratech sword of >Damocles. >"Hey chief!" one worker yelled into his mike, "when's our goddamned shift >over?" BRIAREOS: [as Chief] Bork bork bork. Oh I'm sorry, you said something worker drone? > The chief, a tall, broad-shouldered Jamaican in a red Normal Suit, SOKAKU: *gasp* It's Chief, the Red/Black comet. >answer- >ed, "Not for a while. We still have to make sure this area's sealed." > "What! But-but that could take another forty-eight hours! Why don't >those asshole at Jaburo send us some more help?" > "Don't give me any shit, Mister Parta!" the chief shot back. "If you >have >a beef, go tell those 'assholes at Jaburo' yourself." SOKAKU: With that exchange over, Parta went back to his home and threw away the chief's birthday present, a steaming pile of sh-- FANG: NO! SOKAKU: -ampoo's Ramen. Geez, Fang! FANG: SOKAK! Don't give people any ideas for crossovers! SOKAKU: Whoops! > Gritting his teeth, Parta went back to work, but something caught his >eye. > "Hey..." BRIAREOS: [as Parta] Elvis? But he's dead! > "Yeah, I see it too," the chief said. All around him the rest of the >crew >stopped working and were staring at the sight of two Mobile Suits leaving >Rutherford. They were two RGM-79G Commandos, modified for space duty. SOKAKU: That would the RGM-79GS Commando Space Type. The G type is a general use GM. >Eighteen meters tall, they had only been recently introduced, but they >outperformed the older GMs in every aspect. As the repair workers watched, >the >two Suits, boosters at max thrust, pulled away from the colony and >disappeared >into the darkness of space. BRIAREOS: Wow..something happened. > "Now, I wonder what the hell THAT was about," one worker commented. >But >the chief said nothing. BRIAREOS: They went out to the corner colony to get some milk. SOKAKU: Obviously these worker drones have had lobotomys, haven't they ever heard of regular patrols? Or trainee missions? There are a million and one different reasons! > In the lead GM, Lieutenant Dennison McCaffey smiled as he glanced at >the >Heads-Up display on the Suits main monitor screen. "Beautiful," he >whispered, BRIAREOS: [as Leona] Oh my sweet pretty. SOKAKU: Bah! Nothing can compare to a bomb! [pulls out a hand grenade] Just look at this little beauty. [Sokaku begins drooling, Briareos and Fang edge away.] >but his grin became a scowl as he saw, on the monitor to his right, BRIAREOS: Home and Away. ALL: ARRGHHH! >the >progress of the second Commando. "Dammit-" Cursing, he keyed his mike. SOKAKU: Mike Kazoodle. > "Ensign Voorhes, what the _hell_ are your doing? Correct your pitch >and >stop over-compensating!" > As the image of a Normal-suited pilot appeared on one of the small comm BRIAREOS: You mean abnormal in her case. >screens, a voice came over McCaffey's earphones, weakly: "I'm trying, >sir...but >it's too much to-" SOKAKU: [as McCaffey] You should have went before we-- FANG: SOKAK! That's disgusting! > "Ensign! Just relax and ease up off the accelerator pedal. Remember, >it's only a patrol we're doing, and we don't have a lot of fuel. Now pull >back >and cut down." > Slowly, Ensign Voorhes' GM rightened itself. It was white in color >with >red trim, and was thinner than the regular GM. SOKAKU: Yep, the RGM-79GS. FANG: Fan-- oh forget it. I've overused it already. >However, it still shared the >same sensor camera system, which was covered by a single pane of bulletproof >Lexan. "Good," said McCaffey, "now follow me!" Grasping his controls, he >turned the GM into a slow turn to port. BRIAREOS: What mind numbing attention to detail. > In the cockpit of the second GM Commando, Alicia Voorhes was trying >desperatly not to scream, cry, loose control of her bowels, or do all three >things at once. BRIAREOS: Typical, the weakling is a girl. Aren't they all? SOKAKU: I told you! FANG: It's still too disgusting! > She had just turned nineteen, an attractive woman of medium height with >auburn hair, and had done her training on Earth in the older RGM-79Ds, the BRIAREOS: Aren't they all attractive women with medium height, weight, liver size etc. etc. Except bad female characters who are usally described as ugly or sexy. Or both. SOKAKU: Hey! She used to pilot the RGM-79D Cold Climate type. That had better acceleration and 180 degree turning. The only thing the GS type has on the D is that it has more verniers and stronger thrusters. >standard GM Suit. But now, here she was in deep space, far away from Earth, SOKAKU: ARRGHH! The RGM-79D isn't the standard type! That's either the G type or the plain old RGM-79! FANG: Sokak. Chill. >away from Roderick, and she was close to loosing it. Why the hell had she >been >assigned to Rutherford? It was a ruined colony, but here was the good ol' >Federation establishing a base of operations there. She didn't see the >logic BRIAREOS: Somewhere Mr Spock in crying. FANG: Inwardly, of course. >in that; after all, the Federation had Solomon, and a perfect view of the Jion >Republic. BRIAREOS: Ever hear of Pearl Harbour? DUH! SOKAKU: It didn't stop Gato. ALL: [as Kou Uraki] Gattttoooo! BRIAREOS: 0083 sucks. SOKAKU: Fanborg. BRIAREOS: Shut UP! > With a sigh, she followed McCaffey's GM. True, she liked the new >Commandos because of the improved power and armor, but... SOKAKU: They didn't get the Playboy channel. > The patrol was a simple three-point plan: inspect two Shoal Zones and >go >home. It was classified as a "routine patrol", but McCaffey knew better. >The >mere thought of any spaceworthy Jion craft or MS was enough to cause the >idiots >at Jaburo to shit themselves. Assholes... BRIAREOS: See, all Generals are incompetents. > McCaffey was a veteran of the One-Year War, and had survived with a >strong >sense of rancor toward _anyone_ from Side 3. He had often claimed that, >"The >only good Jion is a dead one," and "I wonder how they would feel if we dropped >their precious colonies on Earth...with them still in 'em?" BRIAREOS: Gee, I don't know. Why don't you ask the people the colony would be dropped on, you incompetent! Some veteran! >Still, he realized >that the vaunted Jion war machine was no more. He grinned as the first >Shoal >Zone drew closer. The monitor screen showed colony fragments, many of them >ten >kilometers across, and other assorted junk and debris. BRIAREOS: Barney dolls, Home and Away scripts, nukes... you know, junk. SOKAKU: Mmm..nukes. > "Ensign! Be careful around here," he cautioned. "It's going to get a >little tough." > From her GM, Alicia could see Mccaffey's suit maneuver around the >chunks >of rock and metal. She drew a deep breath and followed. So far, so good. >Her >heart was pounding in her chest, and she choked down the lump in her throat. ALL: Ewww... >But as she glanced at her radar screen, she saw that it was filled with >static. >"What the--" she murmured, and tried to contact the Lt. But her comm >screens >were also heavy with static, so she tried her laser communicator. As she >did, >McCaffey's image and voice appeared. > "Ensign...hear me?...The hell's...on? Come...answer..." BRIAREOS: Mifosky particles, DER! SOKAKU: You'll have to forgive me, but weren't these guys GM pilots? Surely, they'd have training that allows them to identify Minofsky particles? And isn't one of them a veteran!!!!! > Alicia moved her GM closer and reached out with its left arm to use >"skin >talk" with McCaffey. By touching his GM with hers, she could use the >vibrations of her voice to communicate. "Lt., sir, can you hear me?" > "Yes, I can, Ensign. Has your radar conked out?" > "Yessir. It's Minovsky interferance, correct?" BRIAREOS: A+ for the fashion rookie. > McCaffey didn't respond immediatly. He was trying to figure out why >there >would be Minovsky interferance at all. Minovsky particles were sub-atomic >metal particles that, when scattered in space, created a field that made >radar >and radio waves useless. The down side to them was that they were >short-lived >and had to be scattered constantly by spacecraft... ALL: [hum standard foreshadowing music] > McCaffey told Alicia to follow him, as he was going to investigate the >possible source of the particles. There was a colony wreck at position 301, >Mark 20, and that seemed like the best place to start. They said nothing as >they headed toward it. The wreck was covered with large holes, and the >giant >mirrors were missing. SOKAKU: I guess the Zentradi wanted a mirror. Heh heh. > The whole thing seemed as if it had been smashed by a >petulant child. Surrounding the wrekage was a corona of debris. McCaffey >brought his GM to the main docking bay of the ruin. All four of the giant BRIAREOS: -statues erected in honour of the Spice Girls were covered in graffiti. >hatches were open, and the interior was dark. He saw the remains of a >Magellan-class battleship in one bay, a wrecked transport ship in another. >But BRIAREOS: They were pantless! >they were not giving out Minovsky particles. In fact, the interferance was >even BRIAREOS: *ahem* That's interference. We only point out spelling mistakes the second time we notice them. >worse. > Powering up the GM's weapons, McCaffey kept his finger on the trigger >and >readied himself to go inside. It was then that he caught a flash of light. SOKAKU: -as Dr. Sam Beckett leaped into his body. It's Gundam 0081: Quantum Leap >Turning the GM around, he watched in horror as Alicia's MS was hit in the >torso BRIAREOS: [as boxing commentator] Ohhhh, it's a low blow. I think. >by four tracer rounds. The Ms tilted and suddenly mushroomed into a large >explosion. > "ALICIA!" BRIAREOS: WILLMMAAA! SOKAKU: TETSUO! FANG: FUZZY MITTENS! [Briareos and Sokaku stare at Fang.] FANG: What? > Putting the GM into overdrive, he turned and saw the cause of Alicia's >death. Bearing down on him were two MS-06 Zaku FZs. A cold chill ran down >McCaffey's spine. The Commando was a good MS, but the Zakus were nothing to >mess with. Seventeen and a half meters tall, they resembled giant deep-sea >divers, and were painted a dark green. From panes of Lexan the size of a >car >windshield, their mono-eyes glowed pink. BRIAREOS: INTENSE MOBILE SUIT INTRODUCTION ACTION! >Twisting the GM to the right, BRIAREOS: Put your foot in the bath, and shake it all about! FANG: That's not how it goes. BRIAREOS: It's been years, okay? >McCaffey fired on the lead Zaku. The shot hit the MS in the head, and it >spun >out of control. The second and third shots found their mark, and the suit FANG: So it's dressed in a Tux? >vanished in a ball of light. But the second Zaku was joined by two more >suits: SOKAKU: A zoot suit and..er.. a law suit! >one was another Zaku with heavier thrusters and armor, and the other was an SOKAKU: a Zackrello. Causing McCaffey to die from laughter. BRIAREOS: Wow, what detail. The Zaku gets intense description for appearing about five seconds. What's the POINT? ARRGGHH! > MS-14J Gelgoog, painted black. SOKAKU: WOO HOO! Gelgoogs kick ass! > The Suits opened fire. McCaffey tried to evade, but his machine was >rocked by one hit, then another. The last thing he saw was the Gelgoog >streaking toward him, BRIAREOS: Can they do that in public? SOKAKU and FANG: Har Har. > its beam saber drawn and ready. BRIAREOS: Gelgoogs don't have beam sabers! They have beam nagatinas. SOKAKU: Technically, they are also called beam sabers. BRIAREOS: Oh...damn. FANG: [as Beavis] Huh, huh huh. He said Beam *saber*! [Sokaku and Briareos look at Fang with quizzical expressions.] FANG: Well, someONE had to do it! >He tried to brin up the >GM's sheild, but the Gelgoog sliced throught the Suit's armor. Putting >itself >into reverse, it moved away as McCaffey's GM blew apart. BRIAREOS: Reverse? What is this? Canonnball Run III: Chaos in the Colonys? SOKAKU: So all they were only Ensign Redshirts? And yet we nearly got told every detail in their puny lives? They exist only for moving the plot on! FANG: And that's shield and bring. No doubt they were typos but I just wanted to be sure. > * * * * * * * * * * > "Are you absolutely sure," asked General Gerard Birshbaum as he stared >out >the window of his office. > "Yessir," replied the woman behind him. Self-conciously, she ran her >hand >through her blond hair. > Birshbaum turned around. "Toni, do you have any idea what this means?" SOKAKU: [as Toni] It's Miller Time! > As her eyes went wide behind her glasses, Toni Valdivia knew what the >General meant. Birshbaum was the head of the makeshift Federation base on BRIAREOS: - Raye's ass! It was so big they made it a new country. FANG: So who is Raye? BRIAREOS: Uh, you don't want to know. >Rutherford, and while the colony was still being repaired most of the base's >personnel had moved in. It had all been quiet...until now. Two Mobile >Suits >that were on patrol duty had not reported back in over five hours, and >recent >satellite information suggested that both had been destroyed. As Birshbaum's >aide, Toni had not wanted to report the news, but here she was. BRIAREOS: Should have passed it onto Ensign Redshirt. > "If those Suits were destroyed, then it might be the actions of a Jion >group, sir," she bit out. > "Yes. A Jion group. Toni, I don't want another war here. Not now, >when >we're rebuilding and trying to put together what was broken before." Slowly, >he turned to face her. He was a man of fifty-five, black, but with a face >that >was heavily lined. It was as if he had been through some tremendous stress. BRIAREOS: Yes, I beleive we called it the 'One-Year War'. > "Back during the the One-Year War, I was in command of the Omaha. That >Salamis model on my desk was modelled after it. We had just commenced the >attack on Abowaku, and nothing had gone right. Half of our ships were gone, SOKAKU: Did you check the couch. You'll find EVERYTHING there! >General Revil was dead, and there were Jions everywhere. My son...was BRIAREOS: [as Brishbaum] - a cross-dressing heroin addicted male stripper whom I disowned! >protecting us in his GM, along with two others. We were heading into a >serious SOKAKU: Yahoo Serious? ALL: NOOOOO! FANG: You'll give Hitomi ideas! >firefight, and I ordered him to take point to get us through. Just as he >did, >a Jion Suit blew him away. Just like that. One minute he was there, the >next SOKAKU: [as Brishbaum] - he was in his mothers best dress! >minute his GM had exploded. That same Jion came for my ship, and we were >about >to buy it when the White Base, under Brite Noah's command, saved us. BRIAREOS: I think this fic is one basically one guy trying to explain everything and forgetting about a little matter called the plot! SOKAKU: [singing] Bright you now! FANG: No G-Gundam plugs please. > "The point Toni, is this: just as I sent my son to his death, I might >as >well have sent those two people to theirs. I...I can't afford to face that, >not anymore." BRIAREOS: So why are you a General, IDIOT? It's a part of being in COMMAND! > "Lt. McCaffey had no immediate family, sir. And Ensign Voorhes' family >is SOKAKU: A decendant of those wacky Clampetts! >on Earth, but her boyfriend is here on Rutherford." BRIAREOS: [as Toni] His name is Mike Kazoodle. SOKAKU: [as Brishbaum] Let's have at Mike Kazoodle. C'mon let's peek at My Kazoodle. BRIAREOS: [as Toni] Make him stop! Make him stop! SOKAKU: [as Ensign Redshirt] You sicko! FANG: Ladies and Gentlemen, the Kazoodle sketch. Shamelessly stolen from The Simpsons comics. > "Bring him in. I'll arrange for her family to know." > Toni paused before she spoke. "Sir, what are we going to tell Jaburo?" BRIAREOS: [as Brishbaum] Now Toni, didn't we agree not to talk about the Kazoodle incident? > "Everything. However, the cause of destruction is not known. Besides, >knowing them, they're not going to believe that a renegade Jion gang is >running >around up here." BRIAREOS: Jion's Angels. > Toni gave a nod, turned, and left the office. As she closed the door, >she >thought she heard Birshbaum start to sob. SOKAKU: [as Brishbaum] Someone stole my Hooters! >____________________________________________________________________________ >___ > >And that's all for now. Stay tuned for Part 2. ALL: AIIEE! [To be continued in part 2] ----- MSTers notes: Whew! This is one fanfic that goes overboard on the details. Otherwise it's quite good. This is my first MSTing so I would appreciate comments and even criticism. My grammar isn't too good I'm afraid so please excuse my horrendous grammar :) A brief introduction to the Appleseed characters in case you haven't read the Manga. It's one of the best I highly recommend it! Briareos: A cyborg with a history with the KGB. He defected after killing his unit's commander. He began operating as Deunan Knute's point man in 2116 and met with the accident that led to his cyborgisation in 2123. He moves to Olympus with Deunan in 2127. He's an easy going guy with a sense of humour but is totally professional on the job. Full name: Briareos Hecatonchires. Sokaku: A merc with a real knack for explosives. He's a joker and a bit of a ecchi guy :) Also quite fashionable according to Shirow. There's two ways of spelling his name - Sokak and Sokaku apparently since the Dark Horse translations use both! I prefer the Sokaku spelling :) The U is probably silent anyway. Also a cyborg. Full name: Tatara Sokaku Fang: A very serious ESWAT combat bioroid. I had to lighten him up a bit. He's one of the finest combat bioroids Olympus has produced. Full name: Fang Blackbone (Beryl A10-F) Hitomi: She's a bit of a ditz. She's older than Deuanan apparently making her over 21. She's also a bioroid but not a combat model. Yoshi: Motorcycle obsessed boyfriend of Hitomi. He's also a bioroid apparently. To see what they look like vist: Hugh King's Appleseed Homepage http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Garden/2101/apples.html Another Appleseed site http://members.tripod.com/~masamune_shirow/appleseed/ With apologies to Ben-San Arizona for the Shampoo's steaming ramen riff ^_^; Thanks to Rick R. Mortis and Jinas for advice and inspiration. ---- Stinger: >"Hey chief!" one worker yelled into his mike, "when's our goddamned shift >over?" ---- Random quote: Referee: I don't know what youse did at half time but now youse have gone mad! (before sinbinning two players)