MSTed by: Mark Foster - foster@powerup.com.au Original author: Marc McKenzie Appleseed is the creation of Masamune Shirow and is owned and copyrighted by Masamune Shirow, Seishinsha and Dark Horse. MST3K is copyright Best Brains Inc. Gundam 0081: Trial by Fire is the work of Marc McKenzie and is copyrighted by him. -------------- [Briareos is sitting on a black plastic chair under a spotlight wearing a tux, the room is dark save for the spotlight shining down on Briareos. His legs are crossed and he's attempting to show an air of the upper class.] BRIAREOS: Hello, I'm Briareos Hecatonchires and welcome to an episode of The Cliche show. In The Cliche show we attempt to count the number of cliches in a show. Tonight, we study the recent Blue Heelers episode 'Death of a Heeler'. In this one hour... [Sokaku runs onto the set and hands a piece of paper to Briareos before running back.] BRIAREOS: [reading paper] Oh, I'm sorry. Tonight, due to the Blue Heelers episode we have an extended five hour episode. [Another spotlight lights up revealing a TV next to Briareos. The screen shows the discovery of a cop's body in the episode.] BRIAREOS: Cliche One, the rookie cop finds the body and subsequently empties his stomach. [The TV screen shows a clip from the previous episode.] BRIAREOS: Cliche Two and obvious plot development from his first appearance is Greg. The middle-aged ordinary bloke cop with a wife and child. We could see from the moment he first appeared that he's got to die. [The TV screen then shows the reaction of various cops in the episode.] BRIAREOS: Here we have the various cliche reactions. Dash is distant and uncaring later to be revealed as worried due to her own experience with cancer. Ben is angry and wants to string all the suspects up. PJ wants to deal with it before Homicide gets there. Sgt. Tom is his usual caring self, worring about the wifey of Greg. Robyn is feeling guilty due to swapping shifts with Greg, and it is later revealed that Greg WANTED to swap shifts thus absolving her guilt all very nicely at the end of the episode. Jack, the new boy, is worried and wants to quit the force only to be talked out by Sgt. Tom. [Sokaku runs onto the screen.] SOKAKU: ARRGHHHH! I can't stand it! This show sucks! [Fang also walks onto the screen and all the lights turn on.] FANG: Sokaku, you ruined it! BRIAREOS: Anyway, what did you think Hitomi? HITOMI: [on View Screen] Hmm... The Cliche Show. I like it! We could incite people into rioting by pointing out how many cliches and how boring their favourite shows are. YOSHI: [on V.S] Can you believe that Blue Heelers was Australia's top rating show in the 1990s? Aside from sport that is. SOKAKU: What? What was second? Friends? [Fang, Briareos and Sokaku all burst out laughter.] YOSHI: [on V.S] Yes. [They stop laughing and stare at the viewscreen incredulousy.] SOKAKU: Man, those Australians are really dumb! BRIAREOS: Psstt! Ixnay, the uthoray is ustralianay! HITOMI: [on V.S] Enough fooling around. Into the theatre, butties! FANG: Butties? HITOMI: [on V.S] Hmm, is it any good? FANG: Err...no. HITOMI: [on V.S] Damn. [Picks up clipboard and crosses something off] Get in there! [The Fanfic sign flashes.] BRIAREOS: We've got the fanfic sigggnnn! [All three rush into the theatre. They sit down in order: Sokaku, Briareos and Fang.] > MOBILE SUIT GUNDAM: 0081 > Trial By Fire > > Part 3 > > Written by M. Mckenzie; based on the various books, movies, and OVAs > of the GUNDAM universe. > > > The Story So Far: SOKAKU: The Lack of Story So Far: > At the Federation colony of Rutherford, Side 4, a military base > has BRIAREOS: -exploded. The investigating board recommended that baked beans and curry be taken off the menu at all bases. > recieved a mysterious cargo, brought by Brite Noah himself. FANG: He's Brite Noah, Federation war hero and cargo pilot! > PART 3: The EGMS. BRIAREOS: Extra Grimy Mitchelton Schools? FANG: Enormous Grim Mobile Suits? SOKAKU: Extra Gummy Model Swimwear! FANG: Huh? > Jeremy Massari grasped the handle of the Mongeluzzo's main hatch > and FANG: Pulled. BRIAREOS: Twisted. SOKAKU: Tugged. > twisted it to the left. BRIAREOS: I win! > As it swung outward Jeremy gaped at what he > saw. SOKAKU: [as Jeremy] Oh my God! Should they be doing that in public? FANG: [as Jeremy] Elvis? But he's dead! BRIAREOS: [as Jeremy] Look! A three-headed monkey! > There was a large gathering of the military personnel from > Powell Base clustered in the designated area around the shuttle. Two FANG: -young punks were spraying graffiti on the shuttle already. > MPs were pushing a moving stairwell to the craft; SOKAKU: Why? They dock in the low gravity zones in colonies! Trying to use stairs in those conditions would be like those Warner Brother cartoon with the cliffs! FANG: Yeah, they use ramps in Gundam when they need to. > when it was > attatched, a middle-aged black man and a young blond woman stepped on > and started up. As they reached the top, Jeremy saluted, then SOKAKU: -stood to attention...so to speak..heh heh heh. BRIAREOS: Huh? > extended his hand. "Ensign Jeremy Massari, sir. You must be General > Birshbaum." SOKAKU: [as Birshbaum] No, I'm Bozo the clown! Howdy hooooo! FANG: [as Toni] Sorry, but it turns out that the General has been channeling the spirt of Bozo the clown. > Birshbaum returned the salute and shook the Ensign's hand. > "Welcome to > Rutherford, Ensign. This is my assistant, Lt. Toni Valdivia." > Jeremy shook Toni's hand, but he couldn't help noticing how BRIAROES: -her hair nearly covered the lobotomy stitches. > pretty she > was. As thoughts of a candlelight dinner floated through his mind he > heard, "As you were, Ensign." SOKAKU: [as Brishbaum] She's mine! Hands off! > With a yelp, the Ensign turned and saw Captain Brite Noah SOKAKU: [singing] -wearing nothing but a... FANG: DON'T FINISH THAT!! > approaching. > Quickly saluting, he saw that Brite was dressed in the standard khakis > of the EMF. Behind him were three people: a short but built man in BRIAREOS: A short but built man? Maybe he means: a short but well-built man? > his 30's, a slender young woman, and a man dressed in, of all things, FANG: -a clown suit! SOKAKU: -his birthday suit! BRIAREOS: -a sailor fuku! > a three-piece suit. He was the oldest, for his hair was shot through > with grey and he was pushing sixty, at least. All carried briefcases. > Brite saluted Birshbaum and said, "General Birshbaum, request > permission SOKAKU: [as Brite] -to give Jeremy a wedgie! FANG: [as Birshbaum] Permission granted. BRIAREOS: [as Jeremy] No! *feminine scream* > to come aboard." > "Permission granted." > "Very well. These are the consultants from Anaheim: Peter Noyes, > Dr. > Farrah Lynch, and Dr. Stuart Conecklius." SOKAKU: [as Stuart] Call me Conecklius Kane. > Introductions were passed back and forth, then the group > proceeded BRIAREOS: -to dance the polka. > down > the staircase toward a roped-off area containing a microphone and > stand. Birshbaum did a sound check, called for quiet, then began. FANG: [as Birshbaum] You know, a funny thing happened on the way here.... > "To all assembled here, it gives me great pleasure to introduce > one of the > most respected Captains of the EMF, one of the heroes of the One-Year > War: Brite Noah!" BRIAREOS: [as Birscbaum] Oh, and respected shuttle pilot. > Brite stepped to the stand as applause went up from the crowd. > He didn't > exactly like the line about being a hero; in his opinion, Amuro was, > and the reward given to him was confinement in the Rockies. Still, > here he was, so... ALL: Sooooooooo.... > "Thank you, everyone," he said as the clapping died down. "The > EMF has > sent us here on an important mission. What I expect from you is your > full cooperation. If you need any more information, then refer your > questions to the General. That is all." [All clap.] BRIAREOS: Short and to the point. FANG: Now if only the *fic* was like that. > Birshbuam nearly panicked as Brite stepped away from the mike. SOKAKU: You see, Brite's fly was undone and his own little mike was showing. FANG: [to Briareos] Should I slap him around now or later? BRIAREOS: Later. > He rushed > over and spoke, "All personnel are dismissed. Return to your > stations." He then followed Brite, Toni, and the Anaheim group into a > waiting limo. When they were inside, it sped off toward Powell Base. BRIAREOS: Of course, they did run out of petrol right as they turned onto freeway. > > Lt. Brandon DeCessno stared at the lozenge-shaped, dark-grey form FANG: Lozenge: noun, a small medicated or sweetened tablet. SOKAKU: So it's shaped like a Butter Menthol? FANG: Apparently. > of the > Mongeluzzo as the crowd began to disperse. It was a transport > shuttle, but the large cargo hold suggested that it carried-- SOKAKU: -the monthly delivery of the General's Hooters. > "Hey, DeCessno, anybody home?" SOKAKU: *knock knock* Hello, McFly! > "Wha--oh, sorry Arlene. Yeah, someone's home." BRIAREOS: [as Brandon] Her name is Brandonette. She likes to wear pink! > Arlene Halford narrowed her eyes. "You've been staring at that SOKAKU: [as Arlene] -nude male model. > shuttle > since it docked. What do you think it's carrying?" BRIAREOS: [as Brandon] Gee, I don't know. Maybe...*gasp* a plot device! > "Probably a Mobile Suit," said Lt. Commander Rod Kane as he stood > next to > Brandon. "I assume that's why those folks from Anaheim are with > Captain Noah." > "Anaheim?" said Brandon. BRIAREOS: Anaheim. SOKAKU: Anaheim? BRIAREOS: Anahei.. FANG: We did this last time! > Rod stroked his ALL: AHHHHH! BRIAREOS: Put that thing away! You'll poke someone's eye out! SOKAKU: HAND! FANG: I hate you both. > moustache and said nothing. Just then, Tate > Haymes ran > up, dodging and pushing people out of the way. He stopped, out of > breath. "Guys....we gotta...we..." SOKAKU: [as Rod] That slender young women! She wants us and she's reallll good *ahem ahem* knowhatimean? > "Tate, what the hell's the matter?" Arlene asked. > Taking a deep breath, he answered, "All pilots of officer rank > have to be BRIAREOS: -tarred and feathered. > at the meeting hall." When Rod asked at what time, Tate answered, FANG: [as Tate] When your majesty deigns to appear. > "Pronto." > Without a word, Brandon gave Arlene a quick kiss [All make slurping sound.] > and followed his > two > friends as they ran from the docking bay. All Arlene could do was > watch. She loved Brandon, even though they had only been dating six > months, but she couldn't understand _why_ he had to be a pilot. A BRIAREOS: [as Arlene singing] My boyfriend is a pilot! > doctor, or an engineer, maybe. Then again, maybe the reason why he > was a pilot was one that she would never know. BRIAREOS: Well, I'm sure Brandon's bookie will tell you. > As she began to look for Wally and Orson, two of her fellow > mechamen, she BRIAREOS: Orson Wells, formerly a great actor and now a bit player in a fanfic! > caught sight of Stephanie Harada talking with a man of medium height > with red hair. It seemed like nothing out of the ordinary--except > that Stephanie was a full Lt. and a pilot. She would have left > already.... BRIAREOS: Ah, more Blue Heelers style foreshadowing. > The sound of heavy machinery made Arlene turn. A large crane arm > was SOKAKU: -making crude gestures. > swinging over the Mongeluzzo's cargo hold, which was now open. Just > as it reached in, Orson came up and tapped her shoulder. "C'mon," he > said, "let's go. These guys can handle it." FANG: [as Orson] They only dropped twelve cargos yesterday, out of twelve cargos we received. > "Okay." As they started on their way, she asked, "Orson, do you > know that BRIAREOS: [as Arlene] -bar on Queen Street? You know, the one with the cheap beer? > guy over there?" With a finger she pointed him out. > Orson scratched his head. "Well...he's a mechaman, but he works > over in FANG: [as Orson] -the mecha hanger! *gasp* > Hanger 7. His name's Graham Leese. Do you know him?" SOKAKU: [as Orson] Oh silly me, you *know* everyone. [Fang buries his head in his hands.] > "I-I think I might...but not from here." > Orson's eyebrows went up. "What's that supposed to mean?" > "Nothing. Forget I said it." BRIAREOS: [as confused Orson] Then why did you bring it up, you doof? > Inside General Birshbaum's office, a ceremony was going on. SOKAKU: You know the kind, the one with the strippers. > "A toast, then, to a successful test." > With that, Dr. Conecklius drained his glass of champagne. > Despite the > flaring red color of his cheeks, he gestured for Toni to pour him > another glass. This brought a rude remark from Noyes. BRIAREOS: [as Noyes] Rude remark. > "Dammit, Conecklius, on an occasion of a serious manner you > decide to get FANG: [as Noynes] -a Bozo the clown suit. > drunk." For his part, Noyes' glass was still full. > Dr. Lynch gave Noyes a hard stare and looked away. Birshbaum had > to say, SOKAKU: [as Birshbaum] Bring on the dancing girls! > "Please, gentlemen, can we stop this? Mr. Noyes, I'm quite sure that > Dr. Conecklius knows what he is doing." It was strange: Birshbaum BRIAREOS: Yes, we know Birshbaum is strange. > expected Conecklius to be the straight-arrow stuffed shirt, and Noyes > to be the devil-may-care type. It was the reverse, however. > From a leather armchair Brite Noah spoke. "General, I hate to > say it, but FANG: [as Brite] -this one of the oldest Gundam plots out there! > I insisted that any tests of this Suit should have been conducted on > the Earth. > Of course, my advice was heeded." FANG: Hopefully that was sarcasm or the whole sentence doesn't make any sense. > Lynch snapped, "Captain, I'm surprised. You know full well that BRIAREOS: [as Lynch] -the Brass make ill-advised decisions to further the plot cheaply. > this > machine and its weapons systems are for space usage. Testing them > under gravity is out of the question." > "I'm well aware of that, Dr. I felt that Earth would be...well, > safer." FANG: Let me explain, Brite. [slowly] If..the...MS...was...designed...for.. low gravity...use...then...it...wouldn't...work...very...well...in... gravity! > Conecklius said, "Captain, this base is fully protected. > Any attack would > be futile. Besides, what could attack us? A Jion splinter faction?" SOKAKU: [pulls a loudspeaker from under the seat] THIS IS FORESHADOWING! IN CASE YOU MISSED IT, THIS IS FORESHADOWING! > "It's a possibility," Brite replied. "We may have won at > Abowaku, but BRIAREOS: [as Brite] -they could have hid under the couch. > there were a lot of Jion ships that weren't accounted for. Hell, we > still don't even know if the Red Comet is dead." He caught the look > on Birshbaum's face and regretted what he had said. "I'm sorry, sir." FANG: [as Brite] Would you like me to twist the knife even further? > "No need, Captain. I lost my son at Abowaku, but I could have > lost my SOKAKU: [as Brishbaum] -Hooter's collection. > life had it not been for you." > The phone on Birshbaum's desk began to beep. Toni picked it up, > listened, > then said a few words. "General, the pilots are all assembled." FANG: [as Toni] They've been tarred and feathered as per orders. Do you want me to begin the waterbomb stage? > "Well, people, let's not keep them waiting," said Conecklius as > he picked > up his briefcase. FANG: [as Conecklius] I've got first dibs on the cream pie stage! > > "Man o man..." muttered Lt. Del Guthrie as he looked around the > meeting > hall. "Pilots, pilots, and more pilots." BRIAREOS: [as Del Guthrie] Except for that dweeb over there. What's his name? Ah yeah, Shinji Ikari! He keeps saying 'I musn't run away'. > "Put a sock in it, Del," Tate warned. He rubbed his round nose SOKAKU: Ahhh, Dr Elephant returns! > and turned > to Brandon. "D'you think this thing they brought up is some advanced > GM?" FANG: [as Brandon] Naw, I think it's a new Mobile Suit for police operations. I heard it's got armour stylised like a cowboy. > "Maybe--" Brandon began, but then the room became quiet as Brite, > > Birshbaum, and the three Anaheim consultants walked in. They gathered > around the main holo-table, a five foot wide ebony surface that was > supported by a thick holding unipod. ALL: Huh? What's on earth is unipod? SOKAKU: It's probably one of the small apartments suitable only for uni students. > One of the consultants opened > his briefcase, removed a datadisk, and inserted it into the side of > the table. SOKAKU: Someone should tell him that's not the ATM. > Birshbaum introduced the people around him just as Stephanie came > in. She > hurried through the row of seats and took one beside Brandon. [Briareos makes whoopee cushion noise.] FANG: [as Stephanie] Very funny, Brandon! > "Sorry > I'm late," she began. > "Where the hell have you been?" snapped Rod. He had turned > around (for he > was seated in front of Brandon), BRIAREOS: Well, I find it difficult to turn around and talk to somone when they are in the row in FRONT of me. SOKAKU: The department of redundancy department is working overtime here. > and was quite angry. > Stephanie looked down just as Dr. Conecklius began to speak. > "Hello, FANG: [as Conecklius] I'm sure you've all realised by now that this is hell and I am the devil, Good Evening. You may call me Toby if you like, we like to keep things here informal....not to mention infernal. Just a little joke. SOKAKU: [as Devil] Atheits? You must be feeling like a right bunch of nitwits! BRIAREOS: [as Devil] Christians? Ah yes, I'm sorry but the Jews were right! FANG: Rowan Atkinson Live: The Warm Welcome sketch. > everyone, and welcome. What I'm going to talk to you about is very > important, so please pay attention and consult the manuals being > handed out to you." FANG: [as Conecklius] Or I'll send you to General's office. > From the sidelines four pilots began handing out books to > everyone. As he BRIAREOS: -stood up and did an amazing rendition of Riverdance. > recieved his, Brandon noticed that it was shrink wrapped, and the size > of a thin telephone directory. Printed on the cover was "MISSION > OBJECTIVES: EGMS PROJECT." BRIAREOS: -FOR DUMMIES. > Conecklius continued: "How many of you are familiar with the > Gundam class > of Mobile Suit?" BRIAREOS: I'd say it's safe to assume all of them since they pilot what is essentially a watered-down massproduced version. > The answer was obvious. All the pilots had heard, or seen, the > exploits SOKAKU: -of Gonad Man! > of the amazing machine during the One-Year War. Conecklius smiled and > said, "Good. Quite a few of you. Well, over a year ago, our most > advanced Gundam prototype, BRIAREOS: The Model T Ford! > the NT-1, was destroyed in a battle on Side > 6, where it was undergoing testing." He pushed a button on the table SOKAKU: [as Brishbaum] Push the button, Conecklius. > and a hologram sprang up. > It was of a white Suit with blue trim, which looked familiar yet more > advanced. FANG: Yes! Go-faster stripes really DO work! > Murmers started around the room. > "We lost quite a bit when that was destroyed," said Conecklius, SOKAKU: [as Conecklius] Such as the Go-faster stripes. > "but--it > was still salvagable. We were able to take the fuselage and other > components back to Anaheim Electronics' headquarters on Luna to BRIAREOS: [as Conecklius] -kitbash! > determine what steps to take should another Suit be constructed. > However, a youg Federation engineer-Mr. Noyes-made an amazing find. > Mr. Noyes?" SOKAKU: [as Noyes] Yes, Pamela Anderson's breasts AREN'T real! ALL: *gasp* > Noyes stood up. "The greatest damages inflicted on us by Jion > came not > from their Zakus or Goufs or Rik Doms. They came from BRIAREOS: [as Noyes] -those pesky Olson twins! > the Mobile > Armors." He pushed another button, and this time three images > appeard. BRIAREOS: More BrainPowerd style spelling! > "These three-the Elmeth, Brau Brow, and Zion G-all derived > most of their destructive power from remote controlled weaponry used > by their pilots." SOKAKU: And the fact that they had lots of hugely powerful mega-particle cannons! > Tate raised his hand. "But sir, weren't those pilots unique in > their > abilities?" > Somewhat annoyed, Noyes answered, "Yes, Lt., but that is not the BRIAREOS: [as Noyes] -point. I just ignore facts that don't match with my hypothesis. > whole > story. What my staff and I did was to study all information gained > from battle footage and reports, as well as captured Jion data, to > create...this." FANG: [as Conecklius] Behold my invention! RX-78NT1 FRANKENSTEINY! I combined the NT1 with Sailor Moon to create this! It's moustache is a boomerang that destroys all enemies! SOKAKU: [as pilot] Uh, they already did that. It's called 'Turn-A Gundam' except for the moustache weapon but that could change anytime! > The image of a device appeared. It was about ten to fifteen feet > long, > and looked like the barrel of a mega-particle cannon. Clustered > around its exterior were small apogee motors. "This is a STAC," Noyes SOKAKU: He's really STACed, heh heh. FANG: How witty, I'm sure Full Frontal is racing to sign you up. SOKAKU: Shut up. > continued. "A Self-guided TActical beam Cannon. Like the "bits" of > the Elmeth, it can destroy targets from far away. Its brain is an BRIAREOS: [as Noyes] -an exact duplicate of an old coot who's name is Hugh Grant. Strangly, we keep finding them cruising the streets trying to pick up prostitutes. > advanced AI system capable of identifying targets. Once that is done, > it can pursue and engage targets." SOKAKU: Just like those remote gun platforms in 0083 except they're mobile. BRIAREOS: Military intelligence strikes back, they've finally created a million dollar bit that totally ignores the reason bits were invented! SOKAKU: Yeah, bits are cheap gun-missles that are controlled directly by the brainwaves of Newtypes. > "In theory, of course," interrupted Lynch. "Five STAC units were > built. > You do not need any special abilities to use them; you just target and > fire. SOKAKU: Well, no need for pilots for then. Or Mobile Suits. > The AI system does the rest. Yet we needed a platform to test > them. All data indicated that the GM and GunCannon Suits were not up > to the task. So, we went back to the wreckage we had of the NT-1 and > created this." SOKAKU: [as Conecklius] The Pie Gundam! > When Brandon saw the hologram that appeared next, he drew in a > sharp > breath. It was a Gundam, but it was a dark grey with black trim. > Yet, it seemed unlike the other Gundam prototypes before it. SOKAKU: What? All two of them? It kind of helps that they were all RX-78 series. > "This is the EGMS--Enhanced Gundam Mobile Suit. That, everyone, SOKAKU: [as Lynch] -is our plot device! > is our > cargo." Lynch stepped aside as Conecklius began to speak again. > "This is a, how do you say it? new and improved Suit. FANG: Yes, I believe that's how you say it. And I believe that was fairly obvious it is a new and improved Suit. > The laser > ocillation system for the fusion reactor has been upgraded to provide BRIAREOS: [as Conecklius] -a whole extra Watt! > more power. The armor is a new combination of ceramics and composites > along with standard Gundarium. Reaction time has been vastly > improved. For weapons, the Suit still has the standard beam sabers, > and the 60mm Vulcan cannons, but we also improved the beam rifle. For > additional protection in close combat, we installed a 70mm cannon on > each shoulder. BRIAREOS: [as Coneklius] And it's got two big buster beams on each shoulder! And it's going to have twelve laser pistols! Ha, it can traverse the solar system in a instant! AND it's going to break the speed of time! SOKAKU: [as Noyes] Coneklius! [gives Briareos a slap] We can add a beam saber. BRIAREOS: [as a slighty dazed Coneklius] Yeah, a lot of people like that. > Information from the NT-1 showed that even with two > 90mm guns in the forearms, the machine was still vulnerable to attack. BRIAREOS: Gentlemen, I present... THE UBER-GUNDAM! And who's going to pilot it? FANG and SOKAKU: The author avatar! BRIAREOS: I can't hear you! FANG AND SOKAKU: THE AUTHOR AVATAR! BRIAREOS: Yes, that's RIIIGHHHHTT! SOKAKU: Unless it gets stolen. BRIAREOS: Ohhh, that's a possibilty too. > "There's more to discuss, so please open the manuals and prepare > to follow > me..." > > Sometime later, the Rutherford colony began operating on its > night cycle. ALL: SLEEP! > Lights shone from the residences of the 50,000 inhabitants. Some > areas, > however, were still dark. BRIAREOS: Such as places where people work 9 to 5. > One of these was near an escape capsule station. Two men stood > outside, SOKAKU: No, you can't escape the fanfic by escape capsule. FANG: We tried that. > engaged in a brief conversation. One was the red-haired mechaman of > Hanger 7. The other was dressed in a jumpsuit that said, "Stirson's > Glasswares". FANG: Where does it say that? BRIAREOS: It covers the patch on the back that says 'McCrae and Son'. > "So, it true, then," he said. "It is a Gundam." FANG: NO! It's an EGMS! It's a totally different thing! Weren't you listening? > "Precisely," remarked the red-haired man. "Looks like Schneider > didn't do > his job correctly." BRIAREOS: Which would be? > "Still, we have our source here, Leese. What were you told?" FANG: [as Leese] Myer is having a suprise bargain sale tommorow! 50% off on homewares! > "A > lot. They couldn't give all the information, but there's enough > here." SOKAKU: [as Leese] Such as the measurements of all the women in the colony! > He handed the other man a manila envelope. "Take this back, and tell > him to SOKAKU: [as Leese] -keep his mitts off the flower girl! She's mine. > wait. And by the way...." > "What?" BRIAREOS: [as Leese] Oh nothing, just by the way. > "I think I saw Sylvia Gant today." > The other man had a look of shock on his face. "That...traitor? > Here?" BRIAREOS: [as man] With the circus people? > "Either it was her, or someone that looked like her. > Should I take > action?" SOKAKU: [as Leese] Knowwhatimean? *nudge nudge wink wink*. > "No, not yet. I'll be back as soon as I can." The man saluted > Leese and > said, "Sieg Jion!" > "Sieg Jion," replied Leese, and disappeared into the dark. BRIAREOS: [as Leese] Ahhhh! *thud* FANG: Leese IS Master Ninja! > Alone now, the man in the jumpsuit removed a .22 caliber handgun > from a > pocket and screwed SOKAKU: -the handgun? But I thought only Deunan did that! [There is a pause in the theatre and the atmosphere dropped to zero degree celcius] BRIAREOS: [ominously] What did you say? SOKAKU: Ummm.... BRIAREOS: DIE! [Briareos grabs Sokaku and hurls him across the threatre.] SOKAKU: Owww... *passes out* BRIAREOS: That'll teach him. FANG: And someone fix the climate control! [The temperature climbs back to normal.] YOSHI: [over P.A] Sorry about that. Hitomi was eating ice-cream and dropped it onto the computer. HITOMI: [over P.A] Yoshi! > on a silencer. He then marched to the escape > capsule station's main door, keyed in a sequence, and waited for the FANG: -spy music to begin. > door to open. When it did, he stepped inside and proceeded down a > hallway until he arrived at a glassed in room. Inside was a woman > monitoring a group of screens, each one showing the capsules. BRIAREOS: Ohhh, so this is THAT kind of place! FANG: Grrr... > The man > knocked on the door. Hearing him, the woman got up and opened it. > "I'm sorry sir, this is a restricted area." BRIAREOS: Obviously these people haven't heard of intercoms and security. > "I'm sorry too." BRIAREOS: [as man] See, I just proved that I didn't go to Rob Borbridge and John Howard school of politics! > He pulled out the gun with lighting speed and fired. BRIAREOS: *zzappp* FANG: [as man] ARRGH! Fricking electrical current! BRIAREOS: Oh wait, he said 'lighting' which isn't like lightning but a simple light. > The bullet > caught > the woman in the brain, killing her instantly. Catching her before > she hit the ground, the man dragged her over to the capsule chamber BRIAREOS: Why? It's not like they're going to think she went walkabout from her post? FANG: Probably from some gruesome imagery that doesn't really work in text. > marked "#204" and pushed the body inside. He hurried back to the > control room and checked the instuments. Returning to the #204, he > entered, opened the capsule's hatch, and got in. Making sure FANG: -the graffiti 'Unnamed man woz here '81' was scrawled on the wall. BRIAREOS: He also noted that the monitor for 303 was blank but there was a slight moaning sound coming from the speaker. > everything was fine, he detonated the explosive bolts and the capsule > drifted away from its niche. Thrusters fired, and it began to move BRIAREOS: Shake it! > away from the colony and toward deep space. The woman's body also > began to drift away, but it snagged on a piece of conduit and remained > in the empty chamber, floating around like some gruesome human kite. FANG: Told you. [Sokaku stirs and lets out out a groan.] > Because of Rutherford's proximity to a major Shoal Zone, debris > often > drifted past the colony. BRIAREOS: -rubbernecking. > One such fragment was the foward deck of a > Magellan space cruiser. > As it drifted close to the colony, something emerged from behind > it. It BRIAREOS: -was a giant Tellytubby! First your TV screens, now THE WOORRLLD! > was a Zaku Space Type, designed and built for colony operations. Its FANG: So why not say 'As it drifted close to the colony, a Zaku Space Type (designed and built for colony operations) emerged from behind it.'? > attention was not directed to Rutherford, however, but to the recently > launched escape capsule. Moving closer, the Zaku homed in on the BRIAREOS: -homey. [Sokaku stands up and walks over and sits next to Fang rather than Briareos.] SOKAKU: Oh, my head. BRIAREOS: Serves you right. Next time you insult Deunan I'll take you head off and give it to her for target practice! > beeping given off by the transmitter inside. It reached out with its > steel hands and clutched the barrel-shaped craft carefully. SOKAKU: [as pilot] *sneeze* BRIAREOS: Kerrr-unch! SOKAKU: [as pilot] D'OHH! > Inside > the Suit, the pilot tuned his radio to a certain frequency and spoke. FANG: [as pilot] *fsst* Boy Genius to Fanged Terror. > "Are you fine, Commander Desslen?" > "Yes, I am. I have good news, Lt., so we must hurry back." SOKAKU: [as Desslen] The Spice Girls are making a new CD on Side 7! We must kill them quickly! > "Understood, sir." With that, the Zaku's thusters ignited, and > the Suit > arched away from Rutherford and vanished into the Shoal Zone. BRIAREOS: Crashing into debris on the way. > > ====================================================================== > ========= > > ...And that's all for now. Stay tuned for Part 4. ALL: [groan] > M. Mckenzie > St. Peter's College > "YAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA....ROADBUSTER!!!" > --Inspector Percy, from RIDING BEAN. SOKAKU: Nice quote. [They all leave the theatre.] BRIAREOS: Sokaku, I'll forgive you for that crack about Deunan but I doubt Deunan will so I'll leave you in peace to tremble in terror. BWAHAHAHAHA SOKAKU: [sarcastic] Gee, thanks! BRIAREOS: Hey, your MS Encylopedia arrived today! SOKAKU: Woo-hoo! Give it to me, baby! [Briareos walks over to the desk and picks up a large grey book. Sokaku walks over and takes it from Briareos. He opens it up and starts flipping through it.] SOKAKU: [looking at book] Oh-oh... FANG:[walking over] What is it? SOKAKU: Um, remember how I said the Guncannon wasn't mass produced in part two? FANG: Yeah. SOKAKU: Well, there's a Guncannon in the 0080 section. D'ohh! BRIAREOS: You doof! [The Viewscreen flickers to life and the not-so-menacing figures of Hitomi and Yoshi loom onscreen.] HITOMI: [on V.S] Well? Have I broken your will yet? BRIAREOS: Nope, it'll take more than that. HITOMI: [on V.S] Dammit! And that was the last part I could find too! FANG: What? It's finished? ALL: YAHOOOO! HITOMI: [on V.S] Oh, I'll find more and it'll be coming your way before you know it! YOSHI: [on V.S, holds up clipboard] For the record, what's your opinion of the fic? BRIAREOS: Hmm, a few spelling errors. But we're all human. SOKAKU: The foreshadowing was laid on a bit thick. And it appeared very generic for the first two parts. FANG: The plot started to move, FINALLY, at part three and it doesn't seem to be too bad after all. BRIAREOS: Yeah, it's starting to grab our interest. SOKAKU: It doesn't work too good in text but I think it would make a good animated story or even a good manga. But text is a restricting medium and something that would work great in animated form comes across as clumsy in text. FANG: All round, not too bad. YOSHI: [on V.S] Thank you. HITOMI: [on V.S] Well, that's all for now spleenies. ALL: Spleenies does NOT work! HITOMI: [on V.S] Oh, poopy! Push the button, Yoshi. [Yoshi pushes the button.] THE END... FOR NOW ------------- MSTer's notes: Whew! Thus ends my first MSTing. Trial by Fire is a good fic if slow to start. Next up...ermm... it's an Evangelion darkfic/lemon called Neo Armageddon Evangelist. And if that title doesn't scare you then the fic WILL! The whole MSTing is over 90kb, the original fic was 45kb!! I gave the guys a brief introduction in the first part so I'll just expand on their relationships here. Briareos and Fang: Have worked on ops together and respect each other. Sokaku and Briareos: They haven't interacted much. Briareos kinda helped Deunan bomb Sokaku's car (while Sokaku was in it - he survived - it wasn't a big bomb just a payback one) as payback for Sokaku giving Deunan a nasty lesson on why you shouldn't trust people who work for money on their first op together :) Sokaku and Fang: Fang arrested Sokaku once after he helped Fang dispose of a booby trap that trapped Bolt (another Bioroid, the same model as Fang) and him in a shop. As payment Sokaku used Fang's card to transfer 1,000 bucks to his account ('My...My vacation...cheater!' were Fang's exact words.) Send me some email to tell me how I'm doing if you like. Critism? Praise? (schyeah, right) anything? Send it in to foster@powerup.com.au ---- Stinger: "This is a, how do you say it? new and improved Suit. ----