*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS* (And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain) (The future isn't what it used to be....) "CARD CAPTOR SCIENCE THEATER 3000" (SEASON FOUR) EPISODE 33: THE XXX FILES (A Shoujo Kakumei Utena MSTing) MSTed From the Desk of CardCaptor Schlueter (aka Syaoran-kun) This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred. “Card Captor Sakura” is a trademark of CLAMP and those who distribute it. “Shoujo Kakumei Utena” is the property of Chiho Saito and the distributors of her work. “The XXX Files” is the property of Reanna R. King and she’s welcome to it. I do not intend to offend her by making fun of her work like this but I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this as another form of C&C. ;) Note: Despite the title of this fanfic, it is *NOT* a lemon fic. Anyone expecting lemon should cool it right now. (Cue "Card Captor Science Theater 3000 Love Theme" in 5....4....3....) It's the not-too-distant future, Last Sunday BC There was this girl named Sakura Quite different from you or me She captured Clow Cards with her friends All seen through Tomoyo’s camera lens They tried to save the human race, But Eriol lost his patience So he shot them into space!!!! Sakura: (Hoeeee……) Syaoran and Tomoyo: (Now what?) We'll send them crappy fanfics The worst we can find (lalala) They'll have to sit and read them all And we'll monitor their minds (lalala) Now keep in mind they can't control When the fanfics begin or end (lalala) Because, let’s face it, after all Eriol’s not really their friend; CARD CAPTOR ROLL CALL: Meiling: 'HI-KEEBA!!’ Tomoyo: 'Oh-hohohohohohoho!!!' Syaoran: 'I do NOT blush! (blushes)' KEROOOOOOO!!! 'I am the guardian of the hell!!' If you're wondering how they eat and breathe And other science facts (lalala) Then repeat to yourself *It's just a MiST* You should really just relax Sakura: (Did I mention Aeris is here?) Aeris: (Great Gospel my ass! I want a *real* attack!) For Card Captor Science Theater 3000!!! ** THE ANGELIC LAYER REGIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS 14:45 Hours Sakura Kinomoto sat in the competitor’s chair in the darkened arena. The loud roar of the crowd almost drowned out her thoughts. She was dressed in a Erioru Academy uniform identical to Misaki Suzuhara’s. A small bead of sweat trickled down her cheek. She tried to wipe it away but her visor prevented her from doing so. She glanced out at the audience where she could just make out Tomoyo cheering wildly with Syaoran in a particularly uncomfortable looking headlock. She smiled lightly to herself before returning her attention to the playing field. Her angel was Hikaru, but not the Hikaru you’d expect. Sakura’s angel was a replica of Magic Knight Rayearth’s Hikaru Shidou, complete with school uniform, sword and armor. But, Hikaru’s armor was showing cracks from her opponent’s strikes. Across the field was Meiling, looking particularly smug. Her angel was a replica of Arashi from X which also had a sword and uniform but moved considerably faster without the added weight of armor. While Hikaru’s armor contained the same specs as if it had been made by Presea, Arashi’s strikes were doing some serious damage. One more hit and not only would Hikaru’s armor crack but the remainder of her life energy would be gone as well. Hikaru took up a defensive position as Sakura’s mind raced through possible solutions to this predicament. A moment later she remembered the ‘special ability’ she had programmed into Hikaru. “Give it up, Kinomoto!” Meiling taunted. “You’re just not fast enough to hit me!” “Don’t be so sure!” Sakura shot back. “I still have one trick up my sleeve! I programmed in one special attack that I took from a completely different character.” “Oh…” Meiling paused. “And who might that be?” “A character from ‘The Slayers’,” Sakura replied. “Filia Ul Copt.” Hikaru reached into her pocket and pulled out a small cup of steaming hot tea. Meiling’s eyes went wide. “No… That’s…” “Yes!” said Sakura. “It’s the hikaru shidou special blend!” Sakura knew however that this was a risky gambit indeed. If she managed to hit Arashi with the tea, it would fall victim to the side effects and she could win. But if Arashi managed to dodge or, even worse, knock the tea back onto Hikaru, the match would be lost. Hikaru took up her stance, tea cup in one hand and sword in the other and prepared to launch her attack. Arashi took up a defensive position. Now it was Meiling’s turn to sweat. Hikaru launched herself into the air. Meiling tried to keep track of her, but lost her in the glare of the overhead lights. Suddenly, a teacup appeared hurting towards Arashi. Thinking fast, Arashi lashed out smashing the cup before it got too close. Meiling grinned with triumph when she suddenly realized that the cup had been empty. That was when Hikaru suddenly appeared from the glare. Without the chance to retalitate, Arashi has caught in a headlock by Hikaru, who promptly forced the tea down Arashi’s throat. Moments later, a swirly eyed Arashi collapsed. “NOOOOOOOO!!!” Meiling screamed. “Hikaru win!” the announcer, who was actually Aeris called out. A cheer rose from the crowd but it was soon muted as the intercom came to life. “Sorry to interrupt,” came the voice of Yue. “But Dr. Hiiragazawa is calling.” Sakura let out a sigh. “Magic Voice. Save program and end.” “‘Kay!” the cheery Nadeshiko-ish sounding Magic voice announced. “Umm… Sakura-chan…” called Tomoyo. “I think I overdid it.” She glanced over at Syaoran who had passed out. “Syaoran-kun!” Sakura called as she ran over to Syaoran. “Errr.. Aeris, we’d better go keep Eriol busy until Li-kun wakes up,” Tomoyo said. ** DEEP 13 “Well… Nice to see Shaolin and Tasuke could make it to out little party,” Eriol muttered sarcastically as Sakura and a recovered Syaoran wandered onto the bridge. “I take it your Clow card this week has an Angelic Layer theme to it?” he said noticing Sakura, Syaoran and Tomoyo’s uniforms. “Yep,” said Kero. “It’s for custom designing your own angels. They even work without a layer platform.” “We, of course, called it ‘The Angel’ card,” said Syaoran. “Of course,” Eriol muttered. “I wish I could say that we were ditching the doll theme this week but I let Ruby Moon design our Clow card this week.” “Hey!” TV’s Ruby Moon replied in a miffed tone. “I resent that!” “And I resent you calling me Suppi all the time, but does that stop you?” TV’s Spinel Sun muttered. “Can it, furball.” Ruby Moon retorted. “Anyway, I combined several previous Clow cards including ‘The Ghibli’ card to make a line of Miyazaki plushies.” Ruby Moon reached under the console and pulled out a box of supremely cute squealing plushies. “We have Chibi-Nausicaa, Chibi-Sheeta, Chibi-Kiki, Chibi-Chihiro and a lot more. We had a Chibi-San… but she turned out to be a tad violent.” “How much damage can a plushie do?” Tomoyo asked, forgetting the problems the satellite had had with its own supply of living plushies. “That was we thought,” said Ruby Moon. “Until one of our technicians lost three of his fingers.” Eriol rolled his eyes. “Anyway. It’s a light experiment for you this week. We have a Utena shortfic that tries to be funny but… Well… Anyway, it’s called ‘The XXX Files’ and no, it’s not a lemon and no, it has nothing to do with Vin Diesel. Love it or shove it, kiddies.” The Sheeta plushie climbed out of the box and grabbed the fanfic and fed it into the computer before smiling cutely and running off giggling. “Hmmm…” said Eriol. “Maybe they have possibilities after all.” ** THE SATELLITE OF LOVE “Hmph…” Aeris muttered. “Who does that jerk think he is?” Suddenly, alarms and sirens rang out. “OHHHH, WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!!” Sakura cried out. (Door 6: It’s a giant Clow card. Sakura changes it into a Sakura card and it disappears.) (Door 5: It’s a labyrinth. You smash through it with Kaho’s bell.) (Door 4: It’s a waterfall. You freeze it and smash through.) (Door 3: It’s a giant box of living plushies. It tips over and the plushies run off giggling.) (Door 2: It’s a Venetian blind. You spend five minutes trying to get it to roll up before cutting through it with scissors.) (Door 1: It’s made of concrete. The plushies come back with construction equipment and reduce it to dust.) (Door .7: The camera pans downward to a teleporter pad. You step onto it and are suddenly surrounded by bright light..) Sakura, Syaoran, Tomoyo and Aeris are teleported directly into their seats while Kero-Chan floats overhead. >It was a perfectly normal day at Ohtori. Perfectly normal, that is, that a day at Ohtori Academy can be. Syaoran: It was a perfectly cliché fanfic opening. Kero: The sun was shining, the birds were singing and random students stopped to smack Anthy Himemiya just for the hell of it. >But there was one person who was hoping it would be the exact opposite. Sakura: So it will be like a normal day anywhere else? Tomoyo: *That* would be a twist. >Miki was sitting in his dorm drinking milkshakes with Kozue from their oh-so-kawaii "M" and "K" glasses when the door burst open. Syaoran: Wow! This scene is almost like watching something from the show! Sakura: Second sentence and we’re already borrowing material. Bad sign, folks. Kero: By the way, the blue color for the milkshakes was a cute idea. How did you do it? Aeris: Oh, I just ground up some Viagra tablets and added them in. Sakura: Aeris… Aeris: Don’t act like she wouldn’t do it. Tomoyo: I thought Miki and Kozue didn’t live in the dorms… >Nanami marched into the room with a wide grin across her face. All: Uh-oh…. Syaoran: This is not good… >Miki turned around, startled. Kero: Don’t DO that! Syaoran: I thought you were Dale! >Then he smiled and offered her a cup. "Ohayou, Nanami. Would you like a milkshake?" Tomoyo: No. Ever since that cow bell incident, I’ve sworn off dairy products. Syaoran: Thanks. I’d almost managed to forget about that. >"There is no time! We must now answer our calling!" she said, more than a little melodramatically. Sakura: *Everything* Nanami does is melodramatic. Kero: Yeah. Any second now she’s going to break out that freakish laugh of hers. >Miki gave her a puzzled look. "We were meant to be investigators of the paranormal, like on the XXX files!" Kero: Sounds like the title of a porn movie to me. Sakura: You would know. >"The XXX Files?" Miki asked. Aeris: Miss Nanami, are you trying to seduce me? Syaoran: God… I hope not. Tomoyo: I have a hard time picturing Gillian Anderson as Nanami. Kero: Or David Duchovny with blue hair. >"You mean that American show?" Kozue asked, downing her milkshake. All: CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! Sakura: Nice to know they get American TV at Ohtori Academy. >"No, I mean the *real* XXX Files!" Nanami said. Tomoyo: As opposed to the fake ones. Aeris: So… Nanami bought the rights to the show or something? >"The "*real*" XXX Files?" Kozue asked skeptically. >"Yeah!" Nanami said. "I bet all kinds of stuff happens at this school! I'll be Agent Scummy, All: Kero: How appropriate. Syaoran: Actually, it also fits well on Touga, Saionji and Akio. >and Miki," she pointed to him dramatically. "YOU can be Agent Molder!" Tomoyo: Just be sure to watch out for men in suits with Tilex. >Miki looked unsure. "I don't think-" Syaoran: No, no! You’re Miki, not Touga. Sakura: Ouch! >Nanami grabbed Miki's hand. "Come on, Miki, it'll be fun! LET'S INVESTIGATE!" Kero: Miki and Nanami *are* Ohtori Campus Detectives! Syaoran: Why me? >"Wrong anime," muttered Kozue dryly. Aeris: Yeah. Thanks for shattering the fourth wall, Kozue. Sakura: Maybe… It’s Showtime? Tomoyo: Nope. Sakura: Uhhh… In the name of the moon I’ll punish you? Tomoyo: Uh-uh. Sakura: Let’s duel? Tomoyo: Getting warmer. Sakura: For the revolution of the world? Tomoyo: Bingo! >"We'll start with the cafeteria!" Nanami said, pulling Miki out the door. >"But Nanami-" Miki whimpered. Syaoran: Great… Now everyone will think she’s my girlfriend. My life sucks. >Kozue rolled her eyes and took a final sip from her milkshake. Syaoran: Oh, yeah. *That* will happen. Aeris: Yeah. The same Kozue who shoved a teacher down the stairs is going to just let Nanami run off with Miki. *Suuuuure*… Tomoyo: I wonder. Do you know what I wonder? Kero: My guess is: why the hell is there so much OOCness so early on? >Nanami strode into the cafeteria with Miki in tow. Sakura: Miki got a flat on the way there. >She whirled around to face him, holding a pair of sunglasses. "Put these on, so no one will recognize you." She inconspicuously slid a pair over her own eyes and >shoved the other pair onto Miki's face. "Now no one will know who we are!" Syaoran: Yeah, what with all those slim blue haired guys wandering around in student council uniforms… He should blend right in. Kero: And now, the punchline… >"Hi, Nanami! Hi Miki!" >"Ohayou, Miki!" >"How's it going, Nanami?" All: TA-DA!! >Nanami shrugged. "Oh well. It's time to investigate!" She observed her surroundings. Tomoyo: And those would be? Aeris: It’s generic backdrop #4! >"Look!" she cried, and ran over to where someone was sitting at a table, eating. "DON'T EAT THAT!" Nanami cried, swatting the tray off the table. Sakura: Do you want your cholesterol to shoot through the roof, you fool?! Syaoran: So…They’re in the cafeteria then? Tomoyo: Guess so. >Juri, with food all over her face, stayed still and calm, save for a slight eyebrow twitch. "What-the HELL-do you think you're doing?" Kero: Uh-oh… Juri’s pissed. Syaoran: It was nice knowing you, Nanami. Aeris: Well… Not *that* nice. >Nanami frowned. "Only saving your life, you ingrate!" She pointed to the pudding on the ground. "That pudding could be an alien organism! If you had eaten it, >you could have turned into an alien!" Kero: S-sh-she destroyed PUDDING?! NOOOOOOOOO!!! Sakura: Calm down, Kero-chan. >Juri glared at Miki, who blushed (KAWAII!). Sakura: Thanks for the pointless aside, story. Tomoyo: Why is she glaring at him? He didn’t do anything. >She got up and stormed off. Aeris: After chopping Nanami in half with her sword. Syaoran: Ick! >Nanami turned to Miki. "We'll have to get used to skepticism, Miki. Don't worry! We're doing great! Look over there!" Nanami pointed to a crate full of pudding >snack cups. Aeris: This fanfic sponsored by Jell-O… Kero: Let’s get these over to the arena! I’ll be wrestling with Juri in the stuff this afternoon on pay-per-view! All Else: KERO!! >"I'm sure there are more aliens in those!" Nanami began tearing the lids off. She plunged her fingers in and felt around. "Nope, this one's normal... so's this one... >nope nothing here." Kero: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wast-t…ng pud…ding!! >"Nanami, you're letting all that pudding go to waste!" Miki said, reluctantly sticking his oh-so-slender fingers into a cup. Tomoyo: Well, duh! Sakura: I think I smell fangirl-ism on this fic. >Nanami stopped searching, with a determined look on her face. "You're right." She handed several opened cups to Miki. "Here. Eat them." >"Me?! Why me? You opened them!" >"I'm on a diet. Besides, you're the one so concerned about wasting food. Now EAT!" Tomoyo: After all… There’s *always* room for Jell-O, Miki! Ohohohohohohohoho! >"Well..." he said, looking down at the brown goop. (Chocolate! Yum!) Aeris: Mmmmm… Chocolate… >Later... Syaoran: Okay, five minutes just past… >"Nanami, I can't eat any more!" Miki groaned, wiping pudding off his mouth. >"Come on, Miki, we're almost halfway done." >"HALF?!" Kero: Oh, yeah… poor baby having a girl in a skirt the size of a gum wrapper force pudding on you is such a burden. Sakura: Even when that girl is Nanami? Kero: Well… She’s not bad to look at when she keeps her mouth shut. >Nanami and Miki afterwards strode and was pulled, respectively, into the Rose Garden, where Anthy was contentedly tending the roses. Aeris: And the clichés just keep on coming… Tomoyo: That was an awkward sentence… >"Well Anthy! You thought Earth would be an easy conquest, but you were wrong! We're come to expose you as the evil alien you are! That's right! The jig is up! >Anthy Himemiya is really a slimy alien!" Kero: Hey… If Anthy is what evil aliens look like, I say let the invasion begin, baby! Sakura: Down, boy. >Anthy turned and smiled pleasantly. "Oh. That's nice Nanami." Tomoyo: By the way, I have a gift for you… Syaoran: Enough with the cow bell shtick, Daidouji. >"Nanami, this is ridiculous." Kero: Well, obviously… Sakura: If it wasn’t, you think Nanami would be involved? >"You thought we wouldn't find out about your plan to enslave the human race! You were going to grow these roses into massive rose bushes to enslave us, right?" >She smiles to herself. Aeris: No. She grows those because this is Ohtori Academy and absolutely everything on the grounds must be covered with roses at all times. >"Nanami, cut it out!" >Nanami held up a giant pair of shears. "Oh, I intend to!" Kero: Ha ha ha! Kill me. >Miki tried to grab them away. "Nanami, do you realize what the penalty is for damaging the roses?" Syaoran: It’s a four minute major and our penalty kill sucks. >"Don't you want to save the world?" Tomoyo: No. He wants to revolutionize it. Remember? >Just then, Nanami calmed down. "Oh... I guess I was wrong! Anthy could *never* be an alien!" She sounded very sincere. *cough* Not! *cough* Aeris: SHWIIIING! >She skipped out of the garden, pulling Miki by the collar. Sakura: Choking the life out of the poor guy. Kero: I’d better be getting sex out of this… Sakura: Kero! >"Nanami, where are we going now?" Syaoran: I knew Anthy was a doormat but when did Miki join her. Sakura: Yes, ma’am! >Nanami smiled slyly. Tomoyo: Another graduate of the Kitsune Konno School of Smiling. Kero: Guess Nuku Nuku has competition now. >"To Utena and Anthy's dorm! Aeris: TO THE BATMOBILE! >There, I can get the evidence I need. Besides, it's a haunted dorm, isn't it? Maybe we can see some ghosts while we're there." >"GHOSTS?" Kero: ZOINKS! Syaoran: The rumors about the haunted East dorm are just *rumors*, Nanami. >Nanami and Miki stood at the door to Utena and Anthy's dorm. Aeris: That was fast. >"Nanami, we can't just sneak in here like this..." He said even as he followed Nanami inside. Syaoran: Utena-sempai and Himemiya-san may have left their unmentionables out! Sakura: Well, if we find any, you can keep them, okay? Syaoran: NANI?!! Aeris: What do you wanna bet that all of Utena’s panties are pink? >"Nonsense! I bet this place is crawling with paranormal activity!" Sakura: So this is ‘Ghostbusters’ now? Tomoyo: Who ya gonna call? All: SOMEONE ELSE! >She strode over to the closet and extended her hand to open it. >Something occurred to Miki. "Nanami, remember what happened the last time you opened that closet?" Kero: ‘Cause I sure don’t. Sakura: Yeah. Yeah. Giant inflatable octopi. We remember. >Nanami frowned and then stepped aside. "You're right, Miki." >Miki sighed in relief. All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNDDDD… >"You open it." All: HUZZAH!! Aeris: Break out the stopwatch, Miki. The humor in this fic is so predictable you can time it. >Miki winced. But how do you argue with someone like Nanami? Kero: He has a point. Tomoyo: Well, Anthy had a way around that. Syaoran: Would you stop reminding me of that? >He put his hand forward. Aeris: …socking Nanami between the eyes. Tomoyo: That’s another way. >He shut his oh-so-kawaii eyes tightly and opened the closet. Sakura: Is that fangirl I smell again? >Nothing happened. Finally, after a minute, something had completely failed to happen at all. Miki sighed another sigh of relief. Syaoran: This has to be the most uneventful Utena fic in history. Kero: What about “True Search”? Syaoran: Point taken. >Nanami looked inside. "That's a big closet. I wonder what's in there..." Aeris: I’m guessing… clothes? >"Let me guess. You want me to go in first." Tomoyo: Yes. Go see if my brother’s still in there. Sakura: Cute, Tomoyo-chan… >Miki peered into the closet, sticking his oh-so-adorable head into the darkness. Sakura: Now I definitely smell fangirl on this story. >Suddenly, a pair of hands reached out, grabbed Miki, and pulled him into the closet and closed the door. Kero: Just the hands? Aeris: Thing’s family must be living in there. >"I told you something strange was going on here!" Nanami yelled smugly through the door. But then she took note of the sounds emerging from the closet... the >high-pitched screams and pleas for mercy were Miki's, but what about the feminine giggling? Wait, there was another sound.... Kero: Sounds like someone’s ripping off his pants… Sakura: KERO!! Syaoran: That closet must be inhabited by a fangirl. Aeris: Either that or Kozue. Tomoyo: Thank you so much for brining that up again. >"Wow," Nanami murmured over Miki's cries for help. "I didn't know you could *hear* someone blushing." She quickly opened the door. Sakura: I didn’t know that either. Tomoyo: Syaoran must be pretty loud then. Syaoran: Can it, Daidouji. Kero: That would explain that odd white noise I hear during Mike Rhea fics. >Miki streaked out, a blur of blue. Aeris: WHOA! Kero was right!! Tomoyo: Who knew? >A second figure stepped out, wearing Miki's jacket. Kero: …and nothing else. Sakura: Kero! Syaoran:
I always wanted a jacket like this. >"Kenji?!" Nanami cried. "What are you doing here?! You're not an alien *or* a ghost!" Aeris: Ravaging Miki, what else? >She pulled Miki's jacket away. "You're interrupting a very important investigation!" Sakura: And quit trying to steal souvenirs, you obnoxious little fangirl. >"Well," Kenji said defensively, "I was doing some investigating of my own when *you* interrupted *me*." She looked over at Miki, who was busy putting his >jacket back on. Kero: Must… Not… Say… It… Sakura: Good boy. >Nanami frowned. "Have you seen anything strange or unusual in here?" Tomoyo: Apparently Anthy wears boxers. Does that count? >Kenji thought for a moment. "...no." Syaoran: I don’t suppose Kenji is going to explain why she was in the closet in the first place. Aeris: I doubt it. >Nanami sighed. "THIS IS THE MOST BORING SCHOOL EVER!" She threw up her arms in disgust. Kero: WHAT?! Aeris: Is this an alternate universe or something? Sakura: Must be. >She grabbed Miki's hand once again. "Let's get out of here!" Tomoyo: If anyone’s necking with Miki today it’ll be ME! Syaoran: Ick! Daidouji! >That evening, as the sun set, Nanami and Miki sat on a bluff overlooking the ocean. >"It's a pretty sunset," Miki said. Syaoran: But… uh… why are we here? Sakura: Oh, hell… I may as well say it. I love you, Miki. Take me! Take me now, you blue haired slab of man! Kero: Ummm…. Okay… >"I don't care!" Nanami muttered, turning away from the water. "I don't believe this! We didn't find a single thing!" Aeris: They found Kenji. Kero: She doesn’t count. >Miki looked out toward the ocean. What was that he saw in the sky? Spinning, colored lights? He tapped Nanami's shoulder excitedly. "Hey, Nanami!" Syaoran: That road show version of “Saturday Night Fever” just arrived in town! >"I know what you're thinking, and don't you say "I told you so!" Tomoyo: And don’t mention my incorrect punctuation either. >What was that out to sea? Something with flippers, a long neck, suspiciously sea-monster shaped... "Nanami, I'm sure that if you'd just look behind you-" >"And don't patronize me either!" Sakura: I’m not Yume Anderson, Miki. I’m smarter than that. Syaoran: Although their speech patterns *are* very similar. >"But-" Miki said as he observed a translucent being rise up from the ground. Kero: Oh! No-Face is here. Syaoran: But I don’t need any bath tokens! >"I don't want to hear it!" Aeris: I don’t want to hear such a stupid request… Sakura: I am not listening. La, la, la, la, la. >Miki watched a woman who was swimming in the ocean wave her fish-like tail at him. "But if you'll just listen-" Kero: Ariel’s here? All riiiiiight! Sakura: Cool your jets. >"This is the end of the discussion! Do you hear me?" Tomoyo: It’s hard not to. Sakura: If only it were the end of the *fic*. >Miki sighed. "So I guess you're over the paranormal investigating stuff..." >Nanami turned to him, smiling widely. "Of course not! There's always tomorrow!" >"Tomorrow?!" Aeris: Because tomorrow… is another day! >end Syaoran: Hey! You got your wish, Sakura-chan. Sakura: Yay… Aeris: Well, that was… different. Syaoran: If by “different” you mean “dull as dishwater”, you’re right. I mean, every single joke in this story was just so predictable. You can set your watch by it. Sakura: And the whole parody angle was so half-hearted to begin with. Why bother creating a parody of “The X Files” so that Nanami can parody the parody? Tomoyo: Well, at least it was short. Kero: True. Now let’s get out of here. ** “Oh, Miss Gainsborough,” Yue called out as the group exited the theater. He handed an elaborate looking staff over to her. “We found this in the crate that they sent you up in.” “Hey!” Aeris said cheerfully as she took the staff. “It’s my Princess Guard! I missed it so much!” She looked it over. “My materia is here too.” She pointed to the various small crystals in the slots on the staff. “There’s my Master Magic materia and my Master Summon materia and Master Command. And of course, I keep my White Materia in the top slot. And I also made sure to equip the Final Attack-Revive combination just in case another psycho tries to get the drop on me.” Sakura and the others sweatdropped as Aeris hugged her staff. A light on the console flashed and Tomoyo quickly gave it a tap. “What do you think, sirs?” ** DEEP 13 “Don’t think that trinket will help you escape, Gainsborough,” Eriol said with a sneer. “Push the button, Ruby Moon.” “Push the button, Sheeta,” said Ruby Moon. The Sheeta plushie nodded before pressing the button with both small hands. ** THE REAL END (Feel free to hum ‘Catch You, Catch Me’ as the credits roll.) First of all, I’m glad so many readers are happy about the decision to add Aeris to the theater cast. I’m not sure how long she’ll stay, but I hope I can use some of the neat suggestions for scenes you readers suggested. The Miyazaki plushies were inspired by a flashback scene in “Castle In The Sky” involving Sheeta as a child which always inspires me to say aloud “Look! It’s Chibi-Sheeta!” This may be why some people in my family have started to think I’m crazy. I’m hoping to do a Miyazaki based sketch in an upcoming MSTing, but I’m not sure which movie to use. Right now I’m leaning towards “Princess Mononoke”. Until next time… -CardCaptor Schlueter (aka Syaoran-kun) *_Season One_:* 1) _The Brain From Planet Arous_-A Ranma ½ Fic By Ryoucilo 2) _The Mike Rhea Anthology_-Ranma ½ Fics By Mike Rhea (/Loves Me, Loves Me Not/ Akane Gets Drained/ Konatsu’s First Kiss/) 3) _Neon Ranma Evangelion_-A Ranma ½ /Neon Genesis Evangelion Fic By Khyron Kingkiller 4) _Good Bye Sweet Li (Part 1)_-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Lady Yuy 5) _Stolen_-A Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By hikaru shidou 6) _Good Bye Sweet Li (Part 2_)-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Lady Yuy 7) _The True Power Of Love_-A Card Captor Sakura Fic By poshul 8) _Marco Polo_-A Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By hikaru shidou 9) _Madison__’s Mystery Crush_-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Chocolat* 10) _Is It Reality Or Just A Trick?_-A Sailor Moon Fic By Dr. Thinker *_Season Two_:* 11) _The Next Generation_-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By JimAndZazu 12) _Caught In The Act_-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Second Sailor Destiny 13) _The Shadow Leaders_-A Sailor Moon Fic By Dr. Thinker 14) _Shinji’s Alter-Ego_-A Neon Genesis Evangelion Fic By John82 15) _Sailor Jupiter Vs. Godzilla_-A Sailor Moon Fic By Flashman (Christian A. Rogers) 16) _Temples__, Captors And Knights (Part 1)_-A Card Captor Sakura/Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By Syaoran’s Lovertoy 17) _No Need For CardCaptors_-A Tenchi Muyo/Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Christina Horton 18) _Temples__, Captors And Knights (Part 2)_-A Card Captor Sakura/Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By Syaoran’s Lovertoy 19) _Mother, May I [Take Over The World]_-A Pokemon Fic By Mallet Boy 20) _Syaoran__: Romeo… Not Really_-A Card Captor Sakura Fic By Golden Eyed Dragon * _Season Three_: * * * * *21) _Harry Potter And the Pantie Raiders_-A Harry Potter Fic By Ice Blue X 22) _The Unforgettable Promise_-A Love Hina Fic By KenshinRC 23) _To Find My Dad And Have A Family_-A Card Captor Sakura Fic By MoshiMoshiQueen 24) _Revolutionary Girl Asuka_-A Neon Genesis Evangelion/Shoujo Kakumei Utena Fic By Joyce K. Wakabayashi 25) _A Dream Come True_-A CardCaptor Sakura Fic By Crystalina Rhapsody Draco 26) _The Only Constant_-A Star Trek: The Next Generation Fic By Stephen Ratliff 27) _The Lionel Dark Anthology_-Card Captor Sakura(CardCaptors)/Lord Of The Rings Fics By Lionel Dark (/Signs That Say You’re Like Lionel Dark/ More Signs The You’re Like Elle/ The Scythe Carrier/) 28) _The Ranma ½ Cast Does CCS-_A Ranma ½/CardCaptor Sakura Fic By Matthew Cline 29) _Megamon__ X_-A Pokemon/Megaman X Fic By Brock Shale 30) _Hotaru__ Goes To Hogwarts_-A Sailor Moon/Harry Potter Fic By Saturn Angels * _Season Four_: * * * 31) _The Bubblehead, The Jerk And The High School_-A Sailor Moon/Gundam Wing Fic By Jayde Summers (/w/// short True Search-A Shoujo Kakumei Utena Fic By SparkleOfEnergyHeidi/) 32) _Find You Again-_A Vision Of Escaflowne Fic By winged angel 33) _The XXX Files_-A Shoujo Kakumei Utena Fic By Reanna R. King *_Deep Fried SPAM_: * * * * *1) Why Not Make A Little Money While Surfing The Net 2) Now Offering For Your “Sensitive” Delight… New And Improved! *_Specials_:__* -/Christmas Special/-_Under The Mistletoe/Tsubasa Gets What He Deserves_-Ranma ½ Fics By Mike Rhea -/Summaries Of Suffering Vol. 1/-A CCST3K Spin-off By Ciircee and Chelle-Sama -/Summaries Of Suffering Vol. 2/-A CCST3K Spin-off By Ciircee and Chelle-Sama * * * _Other MSTings:_* * _Totally Spies Theater 3000_:* * _Season One_:* 1) _What If Meowth Was A Girl?_-A Pokemon Fic By Dr. Thinker 2) _Sailor Trigger_-A Sailor Moon/Chrono Trigger Fic By Sailor Koban (/w/// short BB Hood’s Rampage-A DarkStalkers Fic By FlamingSmileyFace/) >"Nanami, cut it out!" >Nanami held up a giant pair of shears. "Oh, I intend to!" Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations are trademarks of and (c) 2003 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved. 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