Elmer Studios presents... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ And now for something completely different... After the unending dullness of Negative Zero, I thought you might like something short, sweet and stupid. "The Revenge of Bloodstone" is copyright 1998 by Star Ruby. Transformers is copyright Hasbro/Kenner/Tankara or something like that. Star Wars is copyright Lucasfilm. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ In the middle distant future, About 300 years from now. Three Preadacons went for a ride, Into outer space.. But Galvy has a special plan, To trap them up there, man, And now they are stuck up there, With no way down. [Blackarachnia: Get me outta here!] [Galvatron singing now] I'll send them crappy transfics, The worst that I can find, [La La La] I'll force them to watch them all, And they'll go out of their minds! [La la la] [Return to original singers] Keep in mind they can't control, Where the fanfic begins or ends. [La La La] And the only way to keep sanity, Is to riff how bad fanfics can be... PREDACON ROLL CALL Cyberbee (Can't see me!) Blackarachnia (Get me outa here!) Quickstrike (Anything for you, Sugarbot!) IINNFFEERRNNOO (BUUUUUURRRRRRRNNNN!) If you are wondering how they survive, Eat, transform and other stuff. (La La La) Just repeat to yourself "It's Just a MSTing Isn't that good enough?". For Mystery Preadacon Theater 3000 [Guitar Twang] [SoP Bridge. No-one is around. The console starts beeping, and the three Preadacons run over to it.] Inferno: Allready? It's too early in the morning for the fic. Blackarachnia: He's probably up to something... [She switches on the console. The grinning faces of Galvatron and Megastorm appear on the screen]. Galvatron: Good morning insect and Arachnids. Quickstrike: What's so good about it? Yer way too early. [Darkside 13] Megastorm: Yeah boss! I'm tired. Galvatron: Silence, fool. I decidede to get today's experiment off to an early start because i'm feeling particularily evil. Not just have I discovered a wonderfully bad fic that will warp ypur minds to my will, but I have a particularily evil and insedious inverntion! [SoP] Blackarachnia: Oh-oh. Sounds bad. [Darkside 13] Galvatron: Yes it is... Wheel it in will you Megastorm? Megastorm: Sure thing boss. [Goes off-screen]. Galvatron: As you shall soon see, my latest creation will have you on your knees begging for mercy. [Pause] As soon as it gets here... [Pause] Mega- Storm! What's taking you so long?! Megastorm [Offside]: It won't fit through the door. Galvatron: Poopie. In the meantime, let's see what you scraplets have to offer. [SoP] Blackarachnia: Certainly. Inspired by that wonderful fic you sent us, along with the trully excellent tech specs, we created the Negative Zero Action Figures! [Pan over to bench where Inferno and Quickstrike are playing with a bunch of Transformer toys] Quickstrike: They're cool because they've got features from the fic! Galvatron: How so? Inferno: Well, there's Talking Eleven. Says three key phrases from the character from the fic! [He pushes a button on the figure's back. It blurts out in a badly digitised voice "Infinity forgive me", "What have I done to deservbe this?" and "Of course, I'm right".] Blackarachnia: Makes a good companion to the Talking Acid Rain. [She presses the buttons on the back of the Acid Rain figure. It blurts out in a whinny voice "But Eleven!", "I don't wanna!" and "You're so cool Eleven!"] Quickstrike: Pretty cool, huh? Galvatron: Marvelous. Blackarachnia: But that's not all of Negative Zero! We've got figures of the rest of them too! Quickstrike: Yeah! We've got Saturn, complete with Pom-Poms! [Holds up a Saturn figure in a cheerleader's outfit] Inferno: And the Hard Drive one! It's really cool! [He transforms the toy but it gets stuck half-way.] Galvatron: Can't be that good if you can't transform it... Quickstrike: He's a Pentium running Win98! Of course he don't work! Galvatron: Touche. Blackarachnia: And here's my favourite, First Grade. Looks pretty normal, right? Look at this! [Transforms the toy into bus mode. It's covered with grafitti, has dents, smashed windows, flat tires and a missing door.] This is what she'd look like after ten years of driving kids. Inferno: Oooh! And the Seven one! I made it myself! Galvatron: All I see is a couple of mangled, burnt limbs. Inferno: It's the Jimmi Hendrix edition! Blackarachnia: And then, there's the Firecracker figure. Galvatron: It's only got one arm. Blackarachnia: He is half Gobot after all. [Darkside 13] Megastorm: I quite like them! Galvatron: Shut up. And wheel in that device [Crashing sound. Megastorm wheels in the Sequel-O-Matic which has had a clothes mangle added to it] Galvatron: I proudly present: The Thinker-O-Matic! [SoP] All: Uh? [Darkside 13] Galvatron: It reduces normally good language tro an incoherent mass that no-one can figure out! It's awesome in it's evilness! Megastorm: Yeah! It's cool! Galvatron: Observe. This is a bit of Alfred Noyes' classic poem, "The Highwayman". Read it out, Megastorm. Megastorm: Certinaly... "He had a French-Cocked hat on his forehead, a bunch of lace at his chin, a coat of the claret velvet, and breeches of brown doe-skin. They fitted with never a wrinkle. His boots were up to the thigh. And he rode with a jewelled twinkle, his pistol butts a-twinkle, his rapier hilt a twinkle, under the jewelled sky." Galvatron: And after it went through the Thinker-O-Matic... Megastorm: Here goes! "It had a French strained hat on its Forehead and a bundle of point at its chin, at a coat claretsamts and at the back parts of the brown cow skinskin cow skin. They fit with never breaks. Its loadings were up to the thigh. And it rode Twinkle, its pistol pistons in a twinkle, its Rapierhilt, some Twinkle under skies with a jewelled jewelled." Galvatron: Am I evil or what? [SoP] Blackarachnia: Not to burst your bubble, but there's something that allready does that. The Babelfish translator. [Darkside 13] Galvatron: Ahh... You make an evil invention and somone goes and wrecks it. Just for that, you're getting the hurt full in the face! Push the button, Megastorm! Megastorm: You guys are in for a world of pain! [Pushes the button] [SoP] Blackarachnia: Great! We got Transfic Sign! [They run around panicking] [Door sequence!] [Door 5 - It's a Catflap. You crawl through it] [Door 4 - A garage door. You blip it with the remote, then open it manually when that fails] [Door 3 - An elevator door. You push the button and it opens] [Door 2 - A revolving door. You go round a few times then proceed] [Door 1 - A vault door. It's unlockled] [The three of them walk into the theatre. Quickstrike sits down on the far left. Blackarachnia sits next to him. Inferno sits down in the seat he ripped up back in "Negative Zero: Immigration"] > The Revenge of Bloodstone > By Star Ruby > Recently, Bloodstone assassinated MegatroniaOne Blackarachnia: MegatroniaOne? Inferno: They come in six-packs. > in an attempt to murder Megster, Megatron’s heir. Blackarachnia: Oh Primus. A "Happy Families" TransFic. Quickstrike: Care to epxplain? Blackarachnia: Usually written by extremely soppy females. typically depicts Decepticons and thier "Girlfriends" and even offspring- Inferno: Offspring? Blackarachnia: Don't ask. But usually shows them as nice people. Inferno: We are nice people! Blackarachnia: Yeah... > Bloodstone got banished by Megatron for > murdering his daughter MegatroniaOne. Quickstrike: Never mind exocuting her, which is what he'd do. Blackarachnia: It's his Sensitive New-Age Guy clone. > Bloodstone vowed to get even with Megatron for this outrage. Blackarachnia [Bloodstone]: He gave me a fusion wedgie! Quickstrike: Oww. > "Megatron shall pay for kicking me off his team. Inferno: She's planning to go to the Cubs! > It is all MegatroniaOne’s fault that I am in this mess." Quickstrike: Yeah. It's all her fault you killed her. > Bloodstone fumes very silently. All: Hissy fit! Hissy fit! > She > suddenly remembers that she is a Dark Jedi Warrior. Blackarachnia: Remembers... she's a... Jedi? Firstly, I doubt that it's the sort of thing you can forget. Then there's the basic crossover problem... Inferno: Maybe she has a bad memory. Quickstrike: Forgets the shopping, the dry-cleaning, her gun and her years of Jedi training. > She got taught by an evil Jedi Master named Darkshadow. All [Make Darth Vader noises] > He taught Bloodstone because the dark > side of the force flowed strongly in her. Inferno [Darth Vader]: The Plot Conrivances are strong with this one. > She murdered him in cold blood Blackarachnia: Blood? Hello? We're all *robots* here! > when her use for him was over. Quickstrike: Sounds like my kinda girl! > I am busy reading Megster a bedtime story. Quickstrike: Once upon a time there were three Predacons on a sattalite... Blackarachnia: And there was a boy called Adam who had a magic Flo-Bee. > Deathangel is with me. She > loves Megster as much as I do. The little Decepticon fall asleep halfway > through a story. Quickstrike: This is so twee. Blackarachnia: Never mind that "Newborn" Transformer Protoforms are allready physically and mentally mature. > Deathangel and I look at each other and grin because > Megster is cute when he is asleep. Blackarachnia: Aww.... Inferno: I'm going to be sick! > We leave his nursery. Deathangel notices me very quiet. She is no mind > reader but she can tell that something is bothering me. > "Ruby, what is wrong?" Inferno: You're in a crappy fanfic. That's what. > I look up at Deathangel and sigh. "DA, Inferno: Twisted clone of BA Felton. Blackarachnia: Obscure. Well done. > Bloodstone > is a very vengeful female Decepticon. I am positive that she is planning > to get even with Meggy for banishing her. Quickstrike: Ya reckon? > My sister is not to be taken Blackarachnia: Internally. Quickstrike: See your doctor if pain persists. > lightly. She is a Jedi warrior Blackarachnia: Thanks to the miracles of crossovers. > that is possessed with the dark side of the > Force. I know Bloodstone is fierce when she is upset or angry. She is very > vengeful Inferno: Didn't you just say that? > and that worries me. I worry about what she will do to us." Quickstrike [Star Ruby]: She might lock us in a sattelite and force us to read crappy TransFics. She's that mad. > Deathangel smiles at me. "Ruby, I am tough. Inferno: Me big! Me strong! > I am not afraid to face your sister in combat." Blackarachnia: Now there's a statement reeking of "You're going to die!" Quickstrike: Maybe she's planning on retiring and buying a boat. > I have to admire my friends spunk. We go out for an evening > flight. Razormoon joins us. Inferno: Why? Are you coming apart? > "Star Ruby, I spotted Bloodstone a few miles away. She is using unusual powers > to lift things. All [Singing]: So I used the force! And I picked up a box! And I lifted some rocks, while I stood on my head. > She uses her light sabre to destroy the items she lifts. She > destroyed an innocent Decepticon Blackarachnia: Now there's a contradiction. > seeker male Inferno: Read Redshirt. Quickstrike: How come I get the feeling that being a male in this girl's fics will be like being an adult in a Marissa fic? > with her light sabre. The laughter I heard from her was very cold and evil. All [Baddly-Dubbed]: Ha. Ha ha ha. Ha. > It gave me shudders in my audios. Quickstrike: And strange feelings in the waste manage- Blackarachnia: Watch it! > I will never forget that insane laugh of hers." I groan because my > sixth sense was right. Bloodstone has finally gone off the deep end. Inferno: Those fics really got to her, I guess. > I order my friends to return to base. They obey me because I am their > commander. Blackarachnia: That makes sense. > I return to base with them. We go to my meeting room. > "Razormoon is there a way you can travel throught time to stop Bloodstone > from meeting Darkshadow? Quickstrike: Now its turning into a Star Trek episode. > My sister was fine until he warped her mind with his evil teachings. > Bloodstone used to be nice like us until she met him." Blackarachnia: Didn't you just say that? > "Star Ruby, I cannot alter time that is very dangerous. Inferno: So's the punctuation in the fic. > I refuse to do it because that could jeopardize your future Quickstrike: What about everyone else? > not to mention the present." > I glare at Razormoon for being so stubborn. "Razormoon go find StarScream > and make sure he is alright." Blackarachnia: Why? Who cares about him? In fact, it might be better for Megatron's health is he isn't allright. > Razormoon salutes me and leaves the meeting. Quickstrike [Star Ruby]: Tightass. Blackarachnia [Razormoon]: Butt kisser. > I continue the meeting. A few minutes later the Decepticon intruder alert > goes off. Inferno: Intruder alert! Man your welcome stations! Prepare tea and biscuits! > I groan because Bloodstone has arrived at the base. Quickstrike: And the plot has started moving. > I witness > on the monitor what she is doing to her fellow Decepticons. I nearly faint > due to all of the bloodshed going on. Blackarachnia: Bloodshed? Hello! These are robots here! > I notice that Bloodstone is heading to Quickstrike: See her agent. > Megatron’s throne room. Inferno: Fortunately, the admission queue is long, so they have time to get to her. > That makes my fuel pump go cold. Blackarachnia: Better. Don't you ever mess up again! > I try to radio Megatron but something has jammed the frequency. Quickstrike: I see Skywarp left his stereo on again. > I rush to the throne room and tackle my sister. Inferno: Don't you just love family reunions? > Bloodstone cackles at me All [Baddly-Dubbed]: Ha. Ha ha ha. Ha. You die now. > before slicing my wing off. All: Ooooh... Ahh... Inferno: Go for the head next time! > I scream from the pain and blackout. Megatron fires > his fusion cannon at Bloodstone. His optics widen in horror because > Bloodstone is not hurt by the blast. Blackarachnia: Not to sound picky, but I don't think there are very many Jedi tricks that will do that. > Bloodstone attacks Megatron. He is ready for her. Megatron surprises > Bloodstone with his ignited light sabre. The warriors have a long duel. > Bloodstone manages to disarm Megatron. Blackarachnia: Was Koopa helping her with this fic? > She slashes at him with her light sabre. Quickstrike: Leaving a neat "Z" on his chest. Inferno: Jedi, swordswoman and calligrapher, all at once! > Megatron screams because her > weapon is actually destroying his protective armor. Inferno: That's generally the idea. > Bloodstone cuts Megatron’s cannon arm off. Blackarachnia: Notice all the Star Wars similarities here, folks. Quickstrike: I expect to see Jihaxus turn up in a black robe any second now... > Bloodstone turns her light sabre off and > decides to kick her ex-commander. She uses a roundhouse kick. Inferno: Boot to the head! Blackarachnia [Bloodstone]: Let's see... What for a finishing move? Kidney punch? Nahh... Half suplex? Nahh... Scoprion Deathlock? Possibly. > Megatron collapses due to fuel loss and injury. Quickstrike [Megatron]: Come on... Pull yourself together... Rise above it... Nah... > "Megatron I am taking over as the new Decepticon leader." Inferno: Wait! We have to have a referendum first! > Megatron glares at Bloodstone because she is usurping him again. All: Again! > "Over my dead body you will.", snarls Megatron. Blackarachnia: Please. That is so pathetic. > "That can be arranged." All [Baddly-Dubbed]: Ha. Ha ha ha. Ha. > Bloodstone resumes her attack on Megatron. > I cry Blackarachnia: Cry? I hate to break it to you, but Transformers don't have tear ducts. Quickstrike: Never mind doing anything to help him or anything. > because my sister is killing Megatron very slowly. All [Singing]: Killing me softly with this song... > I wonder how much abuse my mate can actually handle. Inferno: I wonder how much more of this abuse we can take? Blackarachnia: Don't worry, Inferno. You'll be fine. > Deathangel arrives at the scene. All [Singing]: Here I come to save the day! > She stops Bloodstone’s savage attack on Megatron. Quickstrike [Announcer]: And there goes Razormoon with a good intercept on Bloodstone! And now she has the ball... > I limp up to my mate and help him, while the ladies battle. Quickstrike: Cat fight! Cat fight! > I > want to carry Megatron but he is too heavy for me to lift in my weakened > state. Inferno: She needs... Weight Gain 4000! Quickstrike [Cartman]: Beefcake! > Razormoon shows up, Inferno: And where was she? Quickstrike: Off fighting with her agent. > she is horrified by Megatron’s present state. Inferno: he really needs to go on a diet. > I weep because Megatron dies in my arms. Quickstrike [Megatron]: Our baby... would have been beautiful... Inferno: No, it was [Megatron]: Get your knees off my chestplate. Blackarachnia: Whatever. See my earlier point about tear ducts. > Razormoon quickly leaves the area > because she has something important to do. Inferno: Re-write his will in her favour! > Razormoon finds Megatron’s time machine. Quickstrike [Razormoon]: Oh look! It was there all the time! > She repairs it so she can go to the past. She will try to > prevent Bloodstone from meeting Darkshadow. Blackarachnia: Is this a Time Machine or the Deux Ex Machine? > Razormoon sets the coordinates to the year I mentioned. Inferno: 1972. Blackarachnia: Why then? Inferno: To prevent the invention of Disco. > She hopes that the time machine still works. Quickstrike: Wouldn't it be fun if it didn't and the entire fic vanished into a singularity? > The time machine hums to life Inferno: She used Energizer! > and transports Razormoon to the past. All [Singing]: Let's do the Time Warp again! > Razormoon steps out into the open. Quickstrike: She needs to practice how not to be seen. > She grins because the planet is not ravaged by the war. Blackarachnia: Which the Decepticons started, but never mind. > Razormoon spots a younger version of Bloodstone. Bloodstone is very > attractive looking. She looks nothing like her future self. Inferno: So how did you recongnise her? Quickstrike: She worked at a fast-food chain. She still was wearing her "Hi! I'm Bloodstone!" badge. > Bloodstone is alone and she is upset. > Razormoon befriends Bloodstone. Quickstrike: That was quick. Blackarachnia: Relations, Koopa-style. > "Hello, my name is Razormoon. Quickstrike [Razormoon]: I am Razormoon, the champion of love and justice! And in the name of- Blackarachnia [Grabs him by the "mouth"]: If you ever do that again, I will go to your data tracks with a very large fire ax and give you a re- programking that you will never foget. Quickstrike: Er... Sure thing, Sugarbot. > What is your name?" My sister looks at > Razormoon surprised. "My name is Bloodstone. You are new in this area, > I have never seen you before." Inferno: Oh come on! You can't be expected to know every face in an are that might chave thousands or even millions of inhabitants! > Razormoon grins at Bloodstone because this Decepticon is friendly and > innocent. All [Laugh] Blackarachnia: And I'm sure that Soundwave is just "misunderstood" and really is a nice guy. > She finds it hard to believe that this young Decepticon is > destined to be cruel and mean. Quickstrike: I find it hard to belive that anyone wrote this! > "Why are you upset Bloodstone?" Blackarachnia: She just found out that she'd signed for a whole series of these fics. > Bloodstone sighs and looks at Razormoon. > "My boyfriend Orian Pax, broke up with me to go out with another woman > named Aerial." Blackarachnia: Is it just me, or is moaning about their love lives all these girls ever seem to do? Inferno: Looks like it. Blackarachnia: Why can't there be any strong-willed independant ones like me? [Inferno and Quickstrike snigger] > Razormoon gasps because she knows those two are destined to become Optimus > Prime and AlitaOne. Blackarachnia: Yes, but the problem is that no-one knew that save for Optimus, Alpha Trion and, presumably, Alita. > "Bloodstone there are many males in the sea. You will find Mr. Right sooner > or later." Blackarachnia: Hopeless. See my above point... > Bloodstone grins at Razormoon because her new friend speaks the truth. Inferno: Stroppy as it is. > "Do not listen to her Bloodstone, she is lying to you." Quickstrike [Voice]: She's really a door-to-door encyclopedia salesman trying to get rid of excess stock. > Razormoon realises that they are not alone. "Who are you?", Blackarachnia: The magic voice. Quickstrike: Our mystery guest. Inferno: Bachelor number one. > Razormoon asks. "None of your business Razormoon. Quickstrike: Go away kid, you bother me. > Do not interfere with Bloodstone’s > destiny." Razormoon realises that this Transformer is evil she can feel > the negative energy coming from him. Razormoon makes the connection that > this is Darkshadow the evil Jedi Master. Quickstrike: Ya reckon? Inferno: Beware! Near is evil close! > Razormoon uses a weapon on the unwanted guest. Blackarachnia [Razormoon]: I'll use my number five iron. Caddie? > Darkshadow laughs because he is invinsible. Blackarachnia: Invincible? Quickstrike: Invisible? Inferno: Help? > Razormoon throws Darkshadow into a black hole Quickstrike [Singing]: Black hole sun, won't you come... Blackarachnia: Give it a rest. And where did that come from? Inferno: Maybe it's one of those really small and temporary ones that just takes power drill keys, remote controls and left socks. Quickstrike: Maybe it's a plot hole. Blackarachnia: Maybe she just used the Koo Koo Nutty Funkyfresh Gravity Magic on him... > it sends him to another time and place. Blackarachnia: A distant time and place even. Inferno & Quickstrike: SEND HIM TO ANOTHER DIMENSION! > Bloodstone admires Razormoon for defeating her master. Blackarachnia [Bloodstone, young]: You're so cool! You just killed my teacher for no good reason, but you're still cool! > The youth smiles at Razormoon. Inferno: Ahh... the wonders of dental cosmetics. > "Thank you for freeing me from > his spell." Razormoon gives Bloodstone a hug Quickstrike: Group hug. Group hug everyone. > before returning to the future. > Razormoon crosses her fingers and programs the machine to take her home. Inferno: Via last Thursday so she can pay the phone bill on time. > Razormoon returns to the future. All: Back to the future! Quickstrike: She passed a silver DeLorian along the way. > She fly’s full speed to Decepticon base. Inferno: Mach 3 in a 50 zone. The cops are going to love you for that. > She grins because Bloodstone is being loyal and friendly to Megatron and I. Blackarachnia: Because she's secretly replaced Bloodstone with Kasumi. > I look up at my friend. "Hi Razormoon, where were you these last few hours?" Quickstrike [Razormoon]: Oh, just out altering the course of history. Nothing important or anything. > Razormoon replies,"I was taking some time off to travel." Inferno: One last time.. All [Baddly-Dubbed]: Ha. Ha ha ha. Ha. > Razormoon grins at me. Bloodstone is happy to see her friend back. Blackarachnia [Bloodstone]: Did you bring me a toy? > Bloodstone introduces > Razormoon to her new boyfriend, AstroTrain. Razormoon grins because Astro > finally has a girlfriend. Quickstrike & Inferno: Astro's got a girlfriend! Astro's got a girlfriend! > Deathangel and Cyclonus are a couple. Blackarachnia: Uh? Hang on... Cyclonus means that this would be the post-movie era, but the presence of Megatron and Starscream means pre-movie... Ow. My cerebral cortex hurts... > I still have two children. Razormoon > grins because the timeline was only altered a little bit for the better. > The only thing changed is Bloodstone. Blackarachnia: And anyone she interacted with in the nine million-odd years since. > THE END > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > If you liked "The Revenge of Bloodstone" Quickstrike: You'll probably enjoy bashing your head against heavy metal objects! > by Star Ruby, e-mail her. Blackarachnia: Don't. You'll just encourage her. > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Back Quickstrike: We're outa here! [They all get up and leave] [Door 1 - A vault door. It's unlockled] [Door 2 - A revolving door. You go round a few times then proceed] [Door 3 - An elevator door. You push the button and it opens] [Door 4 - A garage door. You blip it with the remote, then open it manually when that fails] [Door 5 - It's a Catflap. You crawl through it] [SoP bridge. The console is buzzing.] Quickstrike: Great. That'll be the Them bugging us. Blackarachnia [Adjusts console]: No, it's a few messages from Earth... Inferno: Read them out! Blackarachnia: OK. This is from Keith Palmer... > I also have some comments on your "Mystery Preadacon Theater 3000" series. > It's a fun concept, but I have some qualms about your presentation of > Inferno. He seems out of character, hard to distinguish from the other two > Predacons forced to read lousy Transformers fanfics. I have an idea of > Inferno being a rather literal-minded character whose riffs are funny more > for taking everything too seriously than for being ironic commentaries on > the action. Unfortunately, I can't really think of how to write these > alternative riffs. All I can really suggest is that he wouldn't usually > speak using contractions. On the other hand, handing most of the technical > complaints to Blackarachnia seems to fit her. Blackarachnia: Thanks for that, Keith. Inferno: To answer your question, I'm OOC because a) I'm not allowed to torch things up here and b) Rick R. Is a crappy writer. Quickstrike: Watch it with that fourth wall there, buddy. Blackarachnia: And here's another one from Rob C. Bungie. > On "Negative Zero: Immigration" > I'm halfway through this. The idea of using Transformers to MST Transfics > - while IC - is pretty cool. Keep this around, maybe you can team up with > Dinobot for a really bad one! > As you can tell, I'm a big 'MPT3k' fan...and I'm not even that big of a > Transfan! Try to grab some episodes of MST3k. Blackarachnia: We're trying! Unfortunately, none of the companies deliver to orbit. And I doubt Waspinator is having any more luck. Quickstrike: Wow! They really like us! Blackarachnia: There's one more. This one is from... Wayne Kerr? Inferno & Quickstrike: [Shrug] Blackarachnia: Anyway... > Talk about department of redundancy department. I kept expecting one > spec to go "Name: Dunny Codename: Thunderbox Cybertron form: Toilet. > Earth Form: Toilet Function: Toilet. Intended Function: Toilet" Inferno: He was meant to be in it though. Quickstrike: Unfortunately, he got left behind when Eleven went to Earth. He was "Busy". > Plus he got his own Tech specs wrong - he forgot to say that he had the > power to create plot contrivances so big that Jupiter looks tiny. > A real Brain hurter. > Screaming Mad Ghosty Blackarachnia: Well that explains the name. [The console beeps again] Here they come. [Adjusts console. Galvatron and Megastorm appear on the screen, grinning as allways] Galvatron: So... How are you now? I suspect that Star Ruby has left you all screaming for mercy... Am I right or am I right? All: Wrong. Glavatron: Poopie. Quicstrike: Face it! You can't get to us with these fics! Inferno: Pain is my friend! I laugh in the face of your threats! [Darkside 13] Galvatron: Oh well... I guess then you won't mind being forced to read the complete works of Star Ruby! All: Complete... works? Megastorm: Oh yeah! Get this! That was just the tip of the iceberg! There's billions more where that came from... Ok. Maybe a dozen. But you get the picture. [SoP] Blackarachnia: O-Kay. Quickstrike: Great going Inferno. Inferno: Whoops. [Darkside 13] Galvatron: Yes! A dozen or more! I'll destroy you all yet! [Laughs manically. Megastorm wanders past in the background and starts pushing the Thinker-O- Matic offstage while he continues his ranting.] Megastorm: Just gotta make a few modifications on this, boss... Galvatron: Not now! Push the button, Megastorm! [He pushes the button] [The screen goes black] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Riffed by: Rick R. Mortis (rickr@one.net.au) Blackarachnia, Inferno and Quickstrike are copyright 1995-1998 Hasbro/Kenner. Galvatron and Megastorm are copyright 1996-1998 Tankara. Rick's Mecha Madness Page: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/7194/index.htm AntiKevs, Mekton Z conversions, fanfic drinking game, the one and only Common Sense Timeline, crazy Fighters' Anthology .lib and missions, and Utterly Disturbing Nova Satori Shrine. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > She suddenly remembers that she is a Dark Jedi Warrior.