MiSTing of a ridiculous fanfic,enjoy!!! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Open to SoL) Mike: Hi, and welcome to the SoL! Today we're having a music day! Gypsy what CD did you pick? (Gypsy holds up CD) Gypsy: Richard Basehart sings opera! Mike:Ok......Tom, what did you pick? (Tom holds up a CD) Tom: Techno hits of the 90's!!! Mike:What about you Crow???? (Crow holds up a 3cd set.) Crow: Jock Jams vol.1,2,3! What about you Mike??? (Mike holds up CD) Crow: Disco Gold!?!?!?!?! Mike: Well disco's coming back!!! Crow: Yeah, right! Mike: Hey!!! Tom: Cool it the Beegees are calling! (Deep 13) Dr.F: Well, Mike I've got some problems to work out with mom. She's taking me with her to Mad Scientist Counselling. Bunch a hooey if you ask me... Pearl: Hurry up Clayton, we have to go soon!!! Dr.F: Well anyway your experiment for today is Red Dragon Rising by Ted Polak ,enjoy!! (SoL) All:AHHHHHHHHH! We got pathetic fanfic sign!!! (All enter theater) Crow: Sliders??? RED DRAGON RISING A SAILOR MOON FANFIC BY TED POLAK Mike: A name that will live in infamy. This is my first attempt at any type of fanfic. All:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Alright, I admit I put myself in this fanfic just because I felt like it. (All make gagging sounds.) I'll be other writers have had the urge and others have succumbed to it, so I might as well get it over with now. Tom: Those authors were scoundrels!!! Before I begin, kudos to USA Network for bringing back the Sailor Scouts! Crow(Mutters): Thanks USA... This story takes place in the time where Nephrite is the main general of Queen Beryl had Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Venus have not yet been discovered. Part 1-Arrival Mike: ALIEN!!!!!! Bots:HUH???? (P.S. I will make reference to past events that have happened in my life) All: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Ted was discussing with his Japanese instructor on how to advance his ability to learn the language. Crow: Bribe your teachers!! "Have you heard of the new Japan foreign exchange program?" said the Japanese sensei. All: NO!!! "Uh, no. It would be nice to see Japan, after all I've learned about it. That thing about toilets is really funny." Mike:--the Hell? (In Japan, it is custom to flush the toilet before you go, so no one can hear you. I swear it is true.) Crow: Yeah, SURE it is. "Um. Anyway, there is an exchange happening in a few weeks. How would you like to go?" Tom: If I said no can I leave? "Sure. Why not?" replied Ted, who had the slightest hint of a smirk. Ted had always been ambitious. He had won many academic contests and always kept his GPA above 3. Perhaps he was a little too ambitious... Crow: Or stupid... Serena was anxiously looking at the clock on the wall of the classroom, and wondering why it seemed to be stuck on 2:59. Her attention drifted aimlessly around, and she thought of Tuxedo Mask, and imagined herself with him dancing endlessly, but her teacher's voice snapped her back to reality. Mike: Whiplash!!! Crow: Call Mike Nelson Attorney at 1-800-Bite-me!!! "...and don't forget the student exchange program. This person would love to stay in Japan, but he needs a host family. Mike: I call no parasite jokes... If you think you can be a host family, contact the student exchange board, and they will arrange for him to stay with you." The teacher passed out flyers with the boy' picture, Tom(Student): Damn, he's ugly... name, and the student exchange board's number. "His name is Ted Polak. He goes to a private school, so it might be easier for him to adjust here in Japan, because he can be with smart people like himself," All: HA! Crow: Their kidding right? the teacher continued, with a slight glare at Serena. It sent shivers down her spine. Just then, the stubborn clock displayed 3:00 and school ended. Tom(To Clock): Turn to 3:00 please. Mike(CLock): NO! Tom: Please? Mike: No!! Serena was giving thought to having an exchange student in her house. Her parents gave no mind, but it might be difficult to have two boys in their house, her brother was trouble enough as it was. Who knows, she thought. He might be a good guy. He might even be cute... Tom: Is Dr. Kevorkian in the theater? Ted waited at the airport with his parents, his Japanese sensei, and some of his classmates. "I hope I like Japan. I mean, it might be crowded and all, and there could be earthquakes and stuff..." "And you can do that wacky toilet thing!" said Mike, interrupting Ted. Mike: That is not me!!!!! Tom: Sure it isn't Mike... "Shut up, Mike." "No, you shut up, loser." Crow: What is the point of this???? "C'mon guys, just drop it," said Clay, All: Dr.F??? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! another classmate of Ted's. "The plane will be here any time now and then you won't have to be in each other's faces." "And when the plane gets back I'll kick your ass," Tom(Sarcastic): Sure you will... Said Ted, looking at Mike. They were about to go at it again Crow: Oh really!!! Mike: Crow! when the plane arrived. Ted got on board, not knowing what to expect. There was a mixture of anxiety, anticipation, and a little fear in his stomach. Tom: Fear in the stomach, also known as gut rot! Maybe the plane will crash, Mike: Hopefully so... Ted thought. Wait a minute, never think the plane will crash. Never, never think that. Crow(Thinking): Oh, I hope that plane will crash... Ted re-asserted himself, and the plane took off, bound for Japan. At the same time, Serena and her family were waiting at the airport, and Serena had a mixture of anxiety, anticipation, and a little fear in her stomach. Tom: Mike, what's Deja Vu?? Mike: When you get a feeling you've seen or heard something before. Maybe the plane will crash, Serena thought. Wait a minute, never think the plane will crash. Never, never think that. Serena re-asserted herself, and the plane arrived. Crow: Ted has just found the Copy and Paste button on his PC. Ted got off and looked around for any sign of his host family. He looking to his left and saw a man holding up a sign with his name on it. He went up to them and said, "I'm Ted Polak. I suppose you are my host family?" Tom: Why yes. For room and board we'll need to break your knee caps. Have a nice day! "Yes," said the man. "We are pleased that you have visited Japan, and we hope that you learn more about your great nation." Crow: Sounds like a computer. "I hope so, too, I wish to learn everything," Ted replied, with a grin, as he put his hands together in a very conspicuous way that Serena couldn't quite understand. Mike: This guy knows how to really insult people! Ted had arrived at Serena's house and had unpacked his things. Serena was talking to Luna. Luna had mentioned that the felt an aura coming from Ted. Crow: Let me guess. She thinks he's evil, but he's really on their side and will end up saving the day. "Oh, Luna. You say that about everyone I meet. Everybody in the world can't be from the Negaverse." All: *cough, cough* "The presence I felt wasn't from the Negaverse, Serena. It...was something far more ancient. I think that he..." Mike:--hasn't taken a shower in months! No sooner than Luna started the next sentence that Ted came in. "Uh, hey, Serena. Oh! You have a cat. Hey, I have one of my own. Come, Q-Bert." Crow: I won't say a word. Mike: Good. (Yes, I have a cat in real life, and his name is Q-Bert.) Tom: Like we care!?!?!?! A fat black cat with a greyish blond face and white paws walked in. The cat took a look at Luna and started growling. (If you've ever heard a cat growl, you know how weird things can get.) Luna hissed at Q-Bert, and Ted and Serena each scolded their respective pets. Crow:--by throwing them out the window. Mike: That's dark Crow. "Luna, you'd better get along with that cat. I have a feeling that you two will be in each other's faces pretty soon," said Serena, turning to look at Ted, but taken aback at what she saw. Ted was speaking gibberish to Q-Bert, but the cat seemed to understand what he meant and followed his commands exactly. "Korra'juk ne balamaji go," Tom: Which translates to "Let's take their cash and leave!" blurted Ted, pointing to circular cat bed. Q-Bert got up and laid in the bed. Ted turned to Serena. "Uhh...That's my...um...special language that I talk to my cat with." Luna watched the spectacle, and it seemed to prove her belief that Ted had some kind of power, that he was here for a reason... Mike: To annoy us as much as possible!!! End Pt. 1 Ok, that's it for that. Part 2 will be done soon. Send comments, suggestions, compliments, flames Crow: Say no more!!! (All are welcome, I don't get too much mail) to arturusxr@earthlink.net. Mike: Let's go... (All exit theater) Mike: Guys, what was the point of that story???? Crow: No idea what so ever Mike... Tom: Same here... Mike: Well it seems like Ted has a very dull fanfic going on right now... Bots: Yup!!! (Fade out) MST3K is property of BBI so don't sue me. The original fic is property of Ted Polak even though it sucks. To be continued...