Part 3 of 7 of Sailor Moon Ultimate Battle MiSTing. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Inside SoL) We open to see Tom, Crow, and Mike in cop garb. Song Begins Bad Fics, Bad Fics! Bad Fics, Bad Fics! (We see Mike kicking Ratliff in the groin) Watcha gonna do when they put the hurt on you (Tom pops Clare Mosley's neck) Bad Fics, Bad Fics! Bad Fics, Bad Fics! (Crow rips a leg of John Winston and then bites Oscar of Artemis' Lover fame) All bad fics are recreated and all authors are guilty of assault on defenseless person(s) Mike: Sorry fans no scene with Dr.F today! All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! We got Sailor Moon Fanfic sign! (Door scene) (Everyone sits) "The Undertaker" Crow: I wish someone would bury this fic. Hi there!!! All:HI! The story continues and gets better, All:BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! Crow: He's kidding right! Tom: I think it'll get worse! for those of you who havent read the first two parts Mike: consider yourself blessed. , they are still aviliable here, check for them on may 14 or visit the official web site: http://www.quik.guate.com/mcdonald/fanfics Crow: Say hello killfile. For those of you who know what is going on, let the story continue.... Mike: and who would that be? THE ULTIMATE BATTLE PART 3 A COLD DAY IN HELL (All Hum Platoon theme) Lita, Rei and Mina where shocked when they saw Amy right in front of them.- Rei was the first to react. Tom: by giving her a BIG hug! -You monster!! What are you doing here? Serena is your best friend and you nearly killed her, give us a reason for your presence before we kick your stinking self out of here!!! Mike(Amy): I don't stink that much even though I don't wipe.. -Don't worry, I'm leaving now, I just passed by and decided to pay a visit to her and at the same time bring you this. Mike: I hope it's the authors head in a bag Tom: Sliced to pieces. Crow: and mangled beyond belief. Then she took the frozen bodies of Luna and Artemis from a bag and dropped them in the floor. All: Oh. -I found them inside the manor and I decided to bring them back, oh and I forgot to tell you, Serena is resting in peace now, bye. Tom: Aw how sweet she gave Serena a peaceful death. Crow: woohoo! Then she lefted. Mike: I wish I could lefted. Carefully Rei used her powers to unfroze the cats, then the girls knowing that Serena was in trouble runned towards her room, when they entered it they found a terrifying spectacle: Crow: Us suffering through this fic. Serena's life support unit disconnected and the heart monitor with a straight line on the screen. Tom: In other words she's dead. - Mina got beside her while the others lefted the room to get help.- In minutes two doctors arrived and they needed to use special equipment revive her. Mike: Not a word Crow. - The girls knew that it was dangerous to left her alone so they decided to guard her, Mina was the first to stay while the others returned to the Cherry Hill Temple to plan their strategy. Crow: Which will probably fail. -Any ideas Lita? Tom: You're asking her? -I don't know, she is too powerful now, we have to be careful, she could strike again.- This is getting worse, now there is only the two of us to do something. Mike: Crow DONT say it. -What about Mina? Crow: Well she's an airhead with no brainpower and klutzes out way too much that good enough for ya? -She is taking care of Serena so she can not help us. Tom: She'd be better off if you help her. -I can help you Sailor Scouts. Mike: What by throwing roses at monsters? -Tuxedo Mask!! Thank god you're here. Crow(Raye): I'm pregnant! -I know all the story, the best strategy now is to wait until Sailor Moon recovers, we can't do anything by ourselves Tom: Yup that's the truth. , if we try something now it could be useless. All: COULD BE!?!?!?!? Rei didn't like the idea. Crow(Raye): I wanna kill that slut right now! Mike: One more and your gonna get it. -That's the best idea you got!? We can't just stay here doing nothing while the traitor of Amy teaches Doom how to use the silver crystal. Mike: Amy's two entities now? Crow: What's even more funny is the thought of Amy teaching someone how to do something. HA! -Rei is right, we can't let them gain advantage on us. Tom: Hmmm. They've already hurt your leader, brainwashed another one of your allies and have your main weapon, I'd call that a disadvantage. - What we have to do is go back to Latveria and get the crystal from Doom even if we need to kill Amy in the process. Crow: Let's hope you do. -Please remember that she is your friend and that she's only acting like that because she is under the power of Doom. Mike: that's what happens when you play too many video games. -Nonsense. - Were leaving now, so join us if you want. Hopefully Luna and Artemis were returning from the hospital. Tom: the animal hospital? -Tuxedo Mask! good to see you, what is going on here? Asked Luna Crow: We're about to be killed and the world is in much danger but everything is normal. Heh heh. -We were about to left to Latveria but he doesn't want us to go. Complained Lita Mike: He gets airsick and wets the bed. Tuxedo Mask explained his reason to disagree to the cats. Artemis was the first to speak Tom(Artemis): Why the hell am I still stuck in a cats body? -He's right. We have to be patient now, going there a attack them just like that will be stupid and the result would be a complete disaster. Crow: Like the movie Dante's Peak? -The doctors said that Serena will be at the hospital for about a month after today's attack, so we must have a lot of patience and think carefully before we act. Added Luna. Tom:Yeah like Doom's gonna wait for Sailor Moon to recover for his attack. Meanwhile in Doomstadt. -My plan is working perfectly.- Amy is my queen and Sailor Moon is almost death Mike: On the new almost to death plan you can lose rational thought and sanity while turning to the gates of heaven for the low price of your soul! in the hospital while the others don't even now what to do. HA, HA, HA, HA!!!! Crow: A *real* sinister laugh goes like this: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! -My lord, Silvermane got your sword ready, please come and see it. Tom: I hope he sees it being shoved through his belly while collapsing into a coma. Moments later Doom was holding a beautiful sword that had encrusted in one side the Silver Crystal and the Dragon's egg in the other. Mike: Omlets anyone? -Good job Silvermane you will be well rewarded. Crow: By being shot. Call Amy I want her to see this. -Yes sir. Moments later Amy arrived and she was impressed with his husband's new weapon. Crow: It's so big and *hard*! Mike: That's it! (Mike gets mini taser and shocks living hell out of Crow.) Mike: He'll be inactive for a while. Crow:BZZZT BZZZT -It is beautiful my love, I hope you use it to destroy Sailor Moon or what is left of her now. Tom: Just wade your way through the carcass. -Indeed my Queen , they will fall under our power, have no doubt about it. A month later. Tom: I don't get it why didnt he attack while they were weakened? Mike: Pointless plot. -How do you feel Serena? Tom: Like crow does heh heh. Crow: I...BZZT.....k...l....mi....e -What do you want Lita? Mike: Some proper grammar would be nice. -huh? I got here to see if you were O.K. what's your problem? -Remember what happened at Doomstadt? I ordered you to help me save Amy and the only thing you did was hitting me in the head and brought me here, do you want me to be happy with you? Tom(Lita): Of course dickweed Mike: Now Tom don't be harsh... -I only did what was best for you, try to use your brain meatball head, Tom: What brain? thanks to me you're alive now otherwise you'll be probably dead. Mike: Should've left this fanfic to die. Luna entered the room. -Enough!!!! I have heard enough!!! Tom: We have too. This behavior was the main cause that leaded to Amy's misunderstanding and treason, instead of fighting among ourselves we must plan what to do now that Serena is back. Mike: How bout getting rid of two annoying cats? -I think you're right Luna, please Serena forgive me. Tom: Not a chance Amazon. Serena turned around and remained silent for a few moments, then she turned around once more. Mike:Quick call the exorcist! -If something happens to Amy, I'll never forgive you Lita, now we must plan our strategy to get the Silver Crystal back before Doom finds out how to make it work if he hasn't already. Tom(DD): Let's see do I push this button or turn this knob... Artemis supprised everyone when he showed his plan. Mike: I hope it's to sacrifice Serena and Lita and run like Hell Crow: BzzzT Bzzt -We have to get Amy out of the way before we attempt to get the Silver Crystal, Jupiter you must knock her out using your Thunder, but you must be careful so you wont hurt her in the process, Mike,Tom: Awwww... Serena, and Mina must fight Doom and get the Crystal back. (Mike and tom snicker) Tom: You excpect *them* to get the crystal back! Mike: They'd be lucky not to klutz out! Ha! Crow: Clos...t....n.r..l -Wait a minute, and how are we supposed to get the Crystal? Asked Serena Tom: Say you'll join them and when she's not looking stab her with a knife! -The only thing I'm sure of is that you'll be involved in a cruel fight so you better be careful. Mike: Yeah, cruel to us. -Girls please be careful, I don't want anyone of you hurt again. Tom(Luna): Killed now that's a different story... Moments later the four girls transformed and used their powers to teleport back to Doomstadt.- Then they entered the manor.- What they didn't know was that Doom was aware of their presence and that he had a lot of traps ready. Mike: Poison darts, trap doors, slick floors... -This is weird there is no one around here. Tom: Except for umpteen million guards, Amy, and Dr. Doom I'd say it's pretty empty. -Be quiet Sailor Moon you want to let them know that we are here? Mike: Let's put it this way the faster you die the faster we get out of here. -Rei! When are you going to stop picking on me? Tom: Kinda weird they use Sailor Mars' Japanese name in a Dub fic. Mike: Pointless 12 yr. old author. -Shut up you two if they hear us they can aaaaahhhhhh!!!! Tom: they can aaaaahhhhhh!!!!? An arrow crossed the sky and penetrated Sailor Jupiter's shoulder.- Sailor Moon got beside her along with the other Sailor Scouts. Mike(Serena): I'm sure that didn't hurt. Now get up sissy! -Sailor Jupiter!! Rei, help me take this out! Tom: Deja vu from ep. 25 Mike: I have one thing to say to you. Tom:What? Mike:Fanboy!!! Tom: Hey! -Hold on Lita, this is going to hurt a lot but you have to be brave now. Mike: That's new for her. Then Rei pulled the arrow out of her shoulder, the pain was so intense that Lita couldn't hold a scream that was heard in the castle.- Then Sailor Moon striped some of her uniform Crow: Mztz Mmmzt S..e t...... unifo... sh... n...ak....d Tom: That taser *does* work. to cure her and control the hemorrhage. -Well now they now Mike+Tom: Huh? Tom: Now they now? Mike: This guy needs to go back to the 3rd grade for grammar lessons. that we are here so we have to be more careful, Sailor Jupiter can you keep on with us? Asked Serena -Yes don't worry about me I can keep with you all the way. Tom(Lita):Don't mind me I'll just screaming in pain the whole time. They continued the way, what Sailor Moon, Sailor Mars and Sailor Venus didn't noticed was that Sailor Jupiter started to sweat a lot and turn white, this was because the arrow was poisoned and none of them noticed that. Mike: They need to head to LensCrafters. Suddenly the passage they were on ended in a big room with a lot of electronic devices. Tom: It was a Circuit City! Mike: Too Easy. -What is this place? Asked Sailor Mars Tom: A circuit city. -Whatever it is it may be dangerous. Added Sailor Venus Mike: The fridges are alive!!! Suddenly they heard a very well known voice that came from above them. Tom: Satan? Mike: God? Crow: Mzzzzt? -Well I see that you're back Sailor Moon, well this time you're not going to be so lucky!!!! Tom and Mike(Singing): Lucky Charms they're magically delicious! It was Amy who was wearing her green uniform. -Amy!! Tell us where is the Silver Crystal please you have to help us!! Mike: I think she forget Amy's evil. -Please Sailor Moon, you still think that I'm stupid don't you!? Tom(Minnesota Lady voice): Ya your very dumb. The only thing I have to tell you is that you're going to die here and now!!! Mike: We've heard that threat from umpteen villians in umpteen fanfics and it hasn't happened yet. Tom: Yes it has. Remember Teenage Wasteland? Mike: Wish I couldn't. Tom: Where's Chris Davies when we need him? Sailor Venus and Sailor Mars moved away to give Lita enough room to do her work just the way the planned it. Tom: The plan failed though. -I've heard enough from you !JUPITER THUNDER! !CRASH! Mike: We've heard enough from you too. Sailor Jupiter hitted her with a low intensity beam that knocked her out, Tom: I thought it was lightning not a beam. then the Sailor Scouts tied her up, but when they were about to continue there quest a voice like a thunder was heard. Mike: Make the bad grammar stop! -YOU HURTED MY BELOVED QUEEN, NOW YOU WILL FACE YOUR DESTRUCTION!!! Tom: OW!!! Damn THX! They saw Doom coming towards them with his sword in his left hand. Tom and Mike(Singing): You put your left hand in and your right hand out... -This is it girls we have to stop him, let's combine our powers now !MOON TIARA MAGIC! !ACTION! -!VENUS CRESENT BEAM! !BLAST! -!FIRE OF MARS! !IGNITE! Tom: This dickweed screwed up all of their attacks! The combination of the power of Mars and Venus with Sailor Moon's tiara turned it into a incredibly big blast that headed towards Doom, but he stopped the hit with his sword, the Sailor Scouts were shocked with this incredible display of power. Tom: and even more shocked when he pulled his pants down. Mike: TOM!! Not you too! Tom: Ok, Ok! -What are we going to do now! He's more powerful than we thought! Screamed Sailor Venus Mike: It doesn't matter that you don't think well but... -Leave..him...to...me The poison that was on the arrow made it's full effect, but Sailor Jupiter was decided to trow one last shot. Mike,Tom:TROW?!?!?!?!? -!JUPITER THUNDER! Lita started to charge herself with energy in such a powerful way that she started to shine. Tom: She's been using too much of that Turtle Wax... -!CRRAAASSHHH! Mike: Bandicoot!!! Tom: Huh??? Mike: Never mind. Lita discharged her full power on Doom who dropped the sword by the sudden shock.- At the same time Lita falled lifeless to the floor victim of the poison.- Sailor Moon got beside her Tom(Serena): It's about time you died I was getting tired of seeing you... -Lita wake up!!! Wake up please!!! You can't die!!! Please.... Mike: There's no place like heaven, there's no place like heaven... Rei putted her hand on Sailor Moon shoulder Mike, Tom: EWWWWWWWW!!!!! -There is nothing we can do for her Sailor Moon let her rest now. -She asked me to forgive her and I didn't, now I'll never forgive myself for this. Tom: Just say to yourself i'm sorry. In the meantime Sailor Venus was able to get the crystal from the sword. -I got it!!! I got the crystal!!! Mike(Mina): Now what do I do with it... Sailor Moon putted the crystal in her scepter and prepared herself to face Dr. Doom. Tom: I'll take a putter my good caddy... -You're responsible for all this now prepare to fight!!! -YOU CAN NOT STOP THE POWER OF DOOM!!! PREPARE TO DIE!!!! Tom: Mike you need to uninstall that THX sound my eardrums are shot! To be continued... Mike: In our future I see DEEEEEEEEEEEP Hurting! (We see Crow in a hospital bed unconscious.) (Flash to see Mike and Tom) Mike: Hi tom! Tom: Oh I just came by to tell you Crow is resting in peace now. Mike: What!!!!! (Mike rushes to Crow) Tom: What do you think sirs? to be continued... part 3 of 7